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WI: You gain a army of your bodycount from video games

Discussion in 'General' started by SailorPizza, Apr 4, 2018.

  1. asdx

    asdx Mouth Pussy

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    If they do then uh... *Looks at how many Leviathans they've killed in StarCraft 2's arcade games.* I've got a small armada of giant space whales, and uh.... well I've genocided a lot of things over the years.
     
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  2. John_Oakman

    John_Oakman Come touch my hentai machine

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    Just played a bit of Red Alert 3 Uprising (after forgetting I had that game, and Origin, and my password), giga fortresses are fun...
     
    TanaNari likes this.
  3. Mikers99

    Mikers99 My Brain Theme Song https://youtu.be/2uKxEoQQiSQ

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    Raiders. Just Raiders. And their Dogs. And Bandits.
     
  4. vyor

    vyor Oh that's cute

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    This is a good question.
     
  5. Gorgrath177

    Gorgrath177 Professional supervillain

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    I play a lot of fantasy games and I’ve beaten god of war 3 times so I’ll have 3 Baldurs as minions. I’d invade China. Why? Because fuck China. Same with Canada.
     
  6. macdjord

    macdjord Well worn.

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    Sorry?
     
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  7. Gorgrath177

    Gorgrath177 Professional supervillain

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    No offense but Canada is America’s quiet cousin. And it is currently run by an idiot.
     
  8. macdjord

    macdjord Well worn.

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    While I'm hardly Trudeau's biggest fan, I really think you need to consider your current basis for comparison...
     
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  9. Gorgrath177

    Gorgrath177 Professional supervillain

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    At least our president actually knows economics. We’ve gained liked 5 million jobs since he took office. I don’t like him much but he’s better than Hillary Clinton.
     
  10. TanaNari

    TanaNari Verified Dick

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    Fun fact: in the 1950s, a man got a chimp to make paintings. Not only did nobody realize that the art was painted by a literal monkey (well, one critic made allusions to the possibility, but he wasn't serious)... he received almost universal praise and his paintings frequently out-sold Warhol.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/14...impanzees-paintings-as-Warhol-work-flops.html

    ... I'm not sure how I was planning to make the transition, but what I'm saying is we should make a chimpanzee in a suit the next PM of Canada... exactly one person will be able to spot the difference.
     
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  11. vyor

    vyor Oh that's cute

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    Rule 8 is a thing.
     
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  12. january1may

    january1may Versed in the lewd.

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    I think this is just the normal position of most countries (though perhaps the last few weeks/months/years did feature more country-running idiots than usual).

    There's a reason why politics is traditionally equated to a multitude of blood-sucking insects...
     
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  13. Train Dodger

    Train Dodger There are no brakes.

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    My body count in video games is almost too long to list, so I’ll just list off some of the major ones:

    Sonic the Hedgehog - Hundreds and hundreds of Eggman’s robots.
    Starcraft - Thousands of Zerg, Protoss, and Terran units.
    Half-Life - Hundreds of Marines, Combine, Xen creatures, etc.
    Homeworld - Hundreds of Taiidan, Kushan, Vaygr, and Hiigaran ships.
    Halo - Thousands and thousands of Covenant, tens of thousands of multiplayer Spartans.
    Grand Theft Auto - Thousands of criminals, civilians, and police.
    Metal Gear Solid - Hundreds of soldiers. (“You enjoy all the killing, that’s why!” *vomits*)
    Fallout - Thousands and thousands of wastelanders, monsters, and power-armored troops.
    Supreme Commander - Thousands upon thousands of war robots.
    The Elder Scrolls - Thousands of people and creatures.
    Saints Row - Thousands of people.
    Minecraft - Hundreds of creatures.
    Dead or Alive - The entire fighter roster, KOed many, many times.
    Soul Calibur - Ditto on this one.
    Armored Core - Hundreds of ACs, MTs, tanks, helicopters, etc.
    Mass Effect - Hundreds or even thousands of troops, mini-mechs, Geth, Reapers and their constructs, etc.
    Kenshi - Hundreds of people and creatures have fallen to my party. We slaughter entire nests of Beak Things without breaking a sweat.
    EDF - Thousands of bugs and robots.
    Stellaris - Countless fleets of warships and superweapons, as well as the endgame crisis enemies.
    Call of Duty - Thousands of soldiers across single-player and multi.
    Battlefield - Thousands of troops, tanks, helicopters, etc.
    Operation Flashpoint & ARMA - Hundreds of troops, tanks, helicopters, etc.
    Team Fortress - Thousands of soldiers.
    Counter-Strike - Hundreds of terrorists and counter-terrorists.
    Half-Life: Firearms - Thousands of troops.
    MechWarrior - Hundreds of mechs.

    ... and so on, and so forth.

    To put it bluntly, I’ve killed a lot of virtual beings and caused a whole hell of a lot of virtual property damage.
     
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  14. Sho'vothar

    Sho'vothar Dragonlayer

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    Thousands of Tonberries riding on thousands of Malboros being airdropped by thousands of dragons onto people i don't like.

    Meanwhile Chaos, God Of Discord, the Emperor Of Hell, the Cloud Of Darkness, Zeromus, hatred incarnate, X-Death the evil tree, Kefka, God of magic, Sephiroth, the One-Winged Angel, Ultimecia, she who makes time her bitch, Kuja, the Angel Of Death, Sin the Eldritch Space Whale, Seymour the Genocidal Ghost, A ton of Cie'th, several Fal'cie, Almighty Bhunivelze himself, and a whole lot of other FF villains and random encounters or bosses all converge on centers of human evil all over the world in a giant orgy of FUCK YOU!

    While this is happening hundreds of thousands of Heartless, Nobodies, Unversed and the entirety of Organization XIII make a beeline for various Captain Planet villain HQ's or military bases sworn to defend them.

    Then thousands of Covenant and Flood join in the fun, alongside thousands of various types of zombies and the entire Resident Evil Tyrant line up, including such big names as G or Nemesis.

    Then Devil May Cry demons start popping up and join in.

    Then Craptons of Diablo 3 and Grim Dawn mooks and bosses also join in on the fun.

    Then the Grox empire of Spore hovers ominously in orbit just to drive the point home, not that they are even needed at this point.

    Also, Necromorphs, lots of them.

    Path Of Exile monsters by the fuckload pop in to put the hurt on some scumbags.

    Pretty much every single foe you can kill in various DND computer games, like the whole Baldur's Gate series and Pathfinder: Kingmaker. This includes Jon Irenicus, Demogorgon and a number of others on a similiar level.

    Several hundred Mechwarrior mechs go stomping.

    Tons upon tons of Disgaea demons appear, led by Tyrant Baal.

    And a whole lot more.

    RIP human civilization, your tattered remnants has a new god now. One with very little tolerance for the bullshit you are oh so fond of.

    Then conquer the universe.
     
  15. macdjord

    macdjord Well worn.

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    Actually, now that I think about it... Star Trek: ConQuest had Q himself as a deployable - and thus destroyable - unit. That trumps even exponential replicators like Total Annihilation commanders.
     
  16. TheDisturbedDragon

    TheDisturbedDragon Making the rounds.

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    Lol, I have an entire system's worth of Tenno from when Solar Rail Conflicts were still a thing - something like 60k kills over my entire playtime, and over 3m non player kills.
    About 800 entire galaxies of Commanders from PA, and their armies.
    Starcraft, a shitton of 4x strategy games, CooQuest's Q himself as mentioned above.
    Ooh, if we count lore-deaths or cutscene-deaths I have gods too, from several series none the less.
    I have a few universes of troops from a game one of my friends made which worked sorta like PA, but you could swap systems and galaxies, automating builds and shit. At the endgame there was a suicide weapon you could employ that would blow up the entire universe if you really felt like being a poor sport.
    I have Heartless and other eldritch horrors. I have all of the Bloodborne monsters, too. And Kronika from MK11.
     
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  17. Lolth

    Lolth Probably Insane

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    Games:
    HoI4
    Stellaris
    Warframe
    Borderlands series
    Couple of Halo games
    Total War Warhammer games
    Dawn of War, plus Ultimate Apocalypse mods so titans.etc
    Overwatch heroes
    An ungodly amount of World of Warcraft mobs and raid bosses
    Heroes of the Storm
    Tomb Raider
    Lego Star Wars, I have both of the Death Stars...
    Force Unleashed, I have a stormtrooper army
    I have Palpatine... I am the Senate
    Battlefront I & II
    Doom
    Supreme Commander series
    Planetary Annihilation Titans

    So a fuck-huge army greater than the population of the planet, most of which are from Stellaris, and post-Singularity technology. So, go me I guess. Also various governments just, slaughtered wholesale so I have a functioning bureaucracy that can’t betray me I suppose.

    Plus over 100 million from each major nation in WWII from HoI4, and quite possibly various armies and transports for them from stellaris, of which I know the scale as it has a WWII earth easter egg with the British, American and Russian armies fighting the German and Japanese armies.

    So yeah. Legitimate trans-galactic and dimensional invasion fleet.
     
    Least Devotee likes this.
  18. General_Urist

    General_Urist Making the rounds with my 4000 pounds

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    Does this only count for things an individual player avatar has killed personally, or does it count absolutely anything that could be considered 'killed by player action' in games?

    If it's the latter, I have a few hundred divisions of World War Two army units willing to serve me. Thank you, Darkest Hour.
     
    january1may likes this.
  19. SouljaBoyTellEm69

    SouljaBoyTellEm69 Crank That Soulja Boy

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    If its things I've killed personally then there's gonna be lots of hat loving mercenaries, creepers, and demons.

    Now if we're talking about the several tabs of shitty idle games I'd leave running for days...
    millions of generic mobs
     
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  20. macdjord

    macdjord Well worn.

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    ... now that I think about it. I've played Paperclip Maximizer through to completion, so that means I have a measurable percentage of the entire universe's mass in the form of autonomous, armed, self-replicating interstellar space drones (or rather, in the form of paperclip-making factories which, as secondary functions, have the capacity for space travel, self-replication, and warfare).