Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

[Malcolm Tent]

"So I can bring five D-rankers, two C-rankers, and four B-rankers," I informed my friends tiredly as I slumped on the couch. Negotiating with Delia had been…stressfull. I had assumed it would be a formality, given we were family and I was doing this for her trial, but she'd put me through the ringer.


About a dozen different stipulations about power distribution, point caps, loot distribution, and any number of other niche and frankly outlandish bullet points had been added to the contract where my forces had been laid out.


I was honestly almost as impressed as I was horrified. Callie, meanwhile, was less than thrilled. "So they want you to run off to the middle of nowhere to fight the Void at a fraction of your strength? Why would they use THAT as a test? That's so dangerous. This isn't a game, the consequences of this could be catastrophic!" She growled in frustration. "What is WRONG with your family?"


Sighing, I explained my hypothesis that Delia and Roland were part of a proactive faction being hamstrung by traditionalists. Callie just grimaced.


"I'm not…unfamiliar with that dynamic," she admitted. "We had some hardliners like that in the Guild when I was growing up. Everyone had to work around them, because of course they never compromise. This is how we've always done things so it's the right way." The voice she used to spit out that line made me pretty sure it was either a quote or based on the tone of a specific person, but I didn't have a chance to ask, because Bethy interrupted excitedly.


"So who gets to go? Is it me? Is it? Can I go Shane, pretty please? I've been working on a new ability! It'll either allow me to teleport or turn someone into a cabbage." I was…unsure if she was kidding about that. "If it's the first one, there's a REALLY good chance I can control what happens when I use it!" That one seemed like less of a joke.


I grimaced. "Bethy, I think maybe for your next few tricks, you should look into something more…understated."


"Pshaw, understatement is for nerds," she snorted. "I prefer THUNDERSTATEMENT!" She leapt to her feet and bellowed that last word so loud the glasses on the table shook. Someone banged on the floor upstairs and she winced. "SORRY!" She shouted up at the ceiling.


I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Thunderstatement isn't a real term, Bethy." I cut her off with a glare, pointing my finger at her. "And don't use your hypnosis to start convincing people it is. I've been getting complaints that some of the last batch you tried that on have been having memory problems."


"Nothing serious," she dismissed with a wave of her hand. "I had to delete some stuff to make room for the improvements. It'll come back eventually. I think. Or it'll get worse. But that almost never happens."


I glared at her. "Do not EXPERIMENT on members of my army, Bethany," she pouted at the use of her full name.


"It's nothing too serious," Callie soothed me. "Bethy would never hurt an ally. I'm guessing we can wipe it out with some basic purification flame treatment. We can have Chelsea look them over, maybe give them some time off or something. But he's right, Bethy. No more hypnosis on allies. Even as a joke. I know you didn't do anything drastic but some things aren't ok to do as pranks."


She wilted a bit. "I…ok. I swear it was just dumb little stuff. Like the word thing, and that one guy who called Chelsea a bitch, so I added a compulsion for him to drink shampoo to his shower routine."


"Wait, what guy-" I started to ask in outrage, but Callie steamrolled over me.


"As long as you know now," she said serenely. "But I think bringing Bethy on the raid is a good plan. We need to keep an eye on her anyway. Do you really want to leave her alone in the camp with our entire force for who knows how long? She'll probably start another fake religion."


I rolled my eyes. "Fine. We could use the help anyway. Abel, you're with us, obviously. Callie, you would kill me if I tried to leave you home. Dayna, would be useful to have you along, and for our last party member…" I scanned the room, before finally settling on someone I think surprised a lot of people. "Mel. We haven't done a mission together in a bit, and you'll be a huge help with Callie's fire stuff. Assuming you two have gotten around to perfecting that without Chelsea bridging you?"


Mel nodded excitedly. "It's just an invocation when there's only two of us. Totally doable. It only gets complicated when you have a ton of inputs. If one party member is steering things you don't even need the diagram, but for real combinations anything past two is a nightmare. Hell yes! This is going to be great, thanks Shane!"


"Hey thank me by setting a bunch of Void shit on fire," I shrugged. "My darling wife is all brawn no brains when it comes to her heretic fire. I figure someone should be there whose battle strategy goes beyond "MORE FIRE!". Sorry honey, but you know it's true," I told her apologetically.


Callie had been gearing up to snap at me…but just slumped over. "Yeah," she admitted. "It should be taken care of soon though."


I knew what she meant. Callie's control and manipulation abilities were all part of her Abyssal Priestess Path. Until we merged her two power sources together, there was always going to be some lacking overlap. "Anyway," I continued. "Obviously Ellie and Felicity are our C-rankers, and Carmichael and Crell will be joining Fade and Alanna on guard duty for the lot of us, so I hope everyone is excited for some quality camping time. Because we're going to be sleeping out in the wilderness for a few days. Lucky us."


No one seemed worried, which, considering they knew I could make buildings from dirt was reasonable. Still, I had other things on my mind. Namely, I needed to know more about our target. Luckily, I had a local titan right here to question. "So, Fade, what do you know about," I checked the information I'd copied down. "Castle Raymore? Is that a real castle? It doesn't really fit the aesthetic here."


"It is a real castle," he nodded. "It's also…kind of haunted. Well no, it's actually extremely haunted. The Raymores were a necromancer family. They got violently murdered by a rival faction a few hundred years ago. Used some kind of creepy ritual to bind their souls to the castle itself. A few people have tried to move in, but ghosts are a pain in the ass to deal with. Not a lot of purification specialists at high B-rank."


That was interesting, but also unsettling. Could the Void corrupt ghosts? Actually what were B-rank ghosts even LIKE? I didn't think I could purify something that strong, even with Zagan and the boost from my staff. But with the wishes they'd used for this trial, we shouldn't run into anything we couldn't match. "Have you ever been there?" I asked him slowly. "Like do you know what to expect?"


He waggled a hand. "Not personally, but some of my boys have checked it out. It's sort of a local hangout for idiots who want to get into trouble, and several of the Hall's members qualify. The place has a sort of aura around it, the ghosts have leached into the stone. Super cold, drains the life from you, that kind of thing."


Which was unfortunate, to say the least. Because that sounded a LOT like Void taint, and I was pretty sure mixing the two wasn't going to produce puppies and rainbows.


I glanced at Callie, who looked equally worried. All I could do was hope that whatever Vessel was here (and I was positive if there was a Void infiltration happening in the B-rank zone there was a Vessel in charge of it) they weren't actually B-rank themselves. Callie and I could take on a C-rank Vessel. With my staff and our natural advantages we were basically made to crush the Void.


But a B-rank Vessel would be up to our guards to handle. My only consolation was that it wouldn't be a particularly good test of our abilities if they sent us after someone too strong for us to handle, so it was unlikely to make it past the wish they'd used to prepare for us.


"So, when do we need to do this?" Callie asked as she looked over the paperwork I'd drawn up. "I don't see any indication of timing."


"There isn't one," I admitted. "They don't want us to blow the op by leaking anything. I signed a heavy contract for secrecy, but they're doing this blind. We're to get within range and wait for the signal. The whole raid is going to be done within an hour, so we'll all be contacted at the same time and then we move out."


It was needlessly complicated and borderline ridiculous, but that was my family in a nutshell. Besides, Delia was clearly competent, and I was willing to accept that she probably had reasons beyond the one I could fathom for doing it this way. "Anyway, we hear anything about the smith I was looking for?" I asked Fade. "Because I want to get my armor made before this trip if possible. I feel naked without my plate."


"I found one that should be able to swing it," he nodded. "Donovan Redfellow. VERY famous smith around these parts. He's only B-rank, but only by choice. He's got a Mythical smithing Skill at least. Makes some of the best blades on the planet." He tapped the short sword on his hip. "My Devlos is a Redfellow." He drew about an inch of the sword, which I had never actually looked at closely before.


It was B-ranked, much like my staff, but…more. It was SCARY. The steel was pattern forged, but the patterns seemed to shift and twist as the light caught them. The thin red lines in the steel flexed and wove through each other like the sword had pulsating veins.


"And he'll take on the job?" I asked pensively. "Like…soon? Because we need to leave for our posting in the next few days. Some of the targets are further away than others, and they don't want to tip our hand by rushing. How fast does this…Redfellow work?" I was getting excited. That sword was magnificent, and the smith who made it had to be just as amazing. I wanted to see what my new, B-rank armor was going to be like.


"Donovan contacted ME, actually," he admitted. "I hadn't heard from him in a while, but when I put the word out about a smith, he jumped at the chance. Donovan was the person smith of the Hall of Steel before I took office. He and my master, Kairos, built the whole faction from the ground up. I think he heard about us working with you and wants to support our dreams of getting off planet. Of course, he would be coming along. But I somehow doubt that's a problem."


I snorted. "Oh of course, how dare you force me to recruit a world class blacksmith who could effectively outfit my entire force. I mean, I'm sure the materials would be exorbitant, but having someone like that on staff would be a game changer. I assume I have to do…something to get him on my side?"


"He's watching the results of this trial," he admitted. "He'll do the work on your armor for payment. But if you want him working for you, you need to win this. Handily. If you can do it though…Donovan is someone who operates at a respected level in the A-rank zone. Having him with us will not only be good for your people, it'll open a lot of doors." He grinned at me ruefully. "But hey, no pressure."

 

[Malcolm Tent]

The trip out to the forest was pretty easy. A group of Ascendants can move shockingly fast over land, even when suppressed by a high level planet. When we arrived at the location in question, I was kind of underwhelmed. Not by the castle itself, exactly, but by the information gathering abilities of my cousins. I'd been impressed they'd managed to find this place so easily, but staring at it now, I quickly revoked that positive impression.

"Subtle," I said wryly as we stared up at the castle on the cliff. A castle, mind, that was coated in a bank of roiling back fog. It looked…dense. Not like Void taint, exactly, but something more.

My wife shrugged. "Well this IS the middle of the forest. We're hundreds of miles from the nearest town, and it's not like there are many people doing flyovers. Flying here is exhausting, in case you didn't notice. Even the birds don't do it for too long."

I had noticed that. It was doable, at least if you had wings, but no one below B-rank would be flying around here without them, and even the B-rankers themselves would have run into problems doing it long term. "So, how do we approach?" I asked slowly. "I assume that the wish they used will separate us to fight individual enemies, I just don't know what form that'll take. Should we split up on our own so it doesn't happen dramatically or just take it for granted and go in normal?"

Wishes were…complicated. It was one of the reasons I tended to keep mine very specific or VERY general. Trading points, or wishing for "good luck" were both hard wishes to fuck up. Ironically, leaving so much open to intent with the latter made it easier for the wish to find a reasonable outlet to accomplish the stated end goal. But for more specific stuff like "make sure we get into the castle and only run into enemies we can handle"... well that was both open to interpretation enough to go bad and specific enough to possibly require some extreme measures to happen as stated.

Everyone just kind of looked at me. Bethy, of course, was the first to speak up. "We should split up!" She said excitedly. "Like in stories, whenever people split up they get attacked by vampires. But I'm vampires. So if we split up, either no one will get attacked, we'll all get attacked by me, or one of my siblings will be in there. And because of the wish, two of those things almost definitely won't happen."

Ellie frowned at her. "Wait…which two?"

"The latter two," I admitted. "The wish is to meet up with people suited for us to fight. Anyone who runs into Bethy is going to be screwed. Everyone with us is either way too strong or not strong enough. I'm honestly a little worried about what she might run into here, but splitting up will make sure no one ELSE runs into it, because anything legitimately dangerous to her would butcher the rest of our D-rankers like chickens."

My bodyguard looked skeptical, but Callie just nodded along. "It's true. Bethy is basically unbeatable at the same level unless you have cheaty purification bullshit like Chelsea or Shane. I'm guessing she'll bump into a weak C-ranker."

"The point is, she's right," I said with a sigh. "I can feel that it's the right choice. My instincts are screaming at me to split up." I sighed. "I really wish they weren't, but they are. Everyone else down for that?" It was a rhetorical question. I was stalling. I HATED splitting up. Watching my wife and best friends walk off into a creepy Void fog was like top ten on my nightmare list, but I refused to let THEM see that. A leader needs to appear confident, even when he isn't. Possibly ESPECIALLY when he isn't. For Ascendants, faking it until you make it was a way of life.

Everyone tried to seem comfortable with it, but all the D-rankers and both C-rankers weren't. I could smell the falsehoods when they talked shit about how easy things would be. I obviously said nothing.

With a quick hug for my wife, I waited until we got the go ahead from the trial overseers and then took off into the fog. I took a few steps in…and then vanished.

Well, I didn't vanish. Everything else vanished. I grimaced. "I'm guessing you just disappeared into the darkness?" I asked my wife through the bond. I looked around, trying to find any landmark to use as guidance in the fog, because all my vision had been swallowed by the darkened mist.

"Pretty much," she said distractedly. "Stay safe, hon. And watch your back. Love you."

I returned the sentiment, along with a healthy dose of affection through the bond, then returned my focus to the world around me. It was dark. Empty. I was alone. I yawned. I'd been through so much worse. Torture, solitude, I'd ground away any weaknesses in these areas ages ago. So I just kept walking.

The space seemed to twist. I walked for about five minutes. Then ten. I was beginning to think I was in a loop or something, until I came to a stop in front of a building. A tall multi dwelling a apartment complex.

"Home is where the heart is, huh?" I asked derisively. "Bit on the nose, don't you think?"

There was no answer. I headed inside, took the stairs up, then stepped into my old apartment for the first time in years. We'd abandoned the place when we'd moved to Rajak, but I'd lived there for most of my life. The couch where I'd watched shows on my scan ring, the back room with Zeke's work bench where he made masks.

And there, in the middle of the room, sitting in a beat up looking chair, sat me. I rolled my eyes. "I give this a two out of ten," I said with a snort. "The ruined soul temple already tried this, and it didn't work there either."

This wasn't my first time confronting another me. I'd done this dance before, and this version wasn't going to be the one that broke me. In fact, I was pretty sure this one wasn't really me at all. The blue glow in the irises of his maskless eyes were very familiar. That was odd though. "Hey, why don't you have a mask on?" I asked suspiciously. "I'm wearing one, so it would stand to reason you would be too."

"Because I can't," the other me sighed. "I tried. It's…there's something off about that mask. Some interaction with the duplication. I can't make a mask of that mask."

Presumably, Zeke was too powerful for this B-ranked threat to copy. Some kind of authority among the masks at play? It was interesting but not important. "Kind of ruins any chance of you copying me for properly, doesn't it? Why even bother using my face? You had to know I wouldn't buy it."

"I admit, I was mostly going for confusion and self doubt," he shrugged. "But I don't believe that'll be possible with you. I wonder, why are YOU bothering with this? We know about your heresy. This fog is dripping with Void. You could burn it away easily."

I shook my head. "It's only half Void. The other half is some undead lifedrinking ghost shit. No idea how it'll react when freed." I didn't mention the wish, which was another big reason. This whole arrangement was going as planned. Which meant this was either a high D-rank or low C-ranked enemy. Probably…"You're the Vessel here," I decided. "The one in charge?"

He gave me an amiable nod. "I am. Not enough B-rank Vessels to have one running every outpost. I wonder though. How are you going to use that information?"

"What do you mean?" I asked him suspiciously. "Now we fight."

"We could," he acknowledged. "But do we have to? Surely you've considered that with so many various forces among the Void Children, conflicts will be inevitable. That there might be room for compromise."

I froze. I…hadn't. But that made some kind of sense. Maybe. "How would that work. The Void Children hate those of us in realspace. Our legends are loud and cause them pain. They want to wipe us out." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Or are you claiming that isn't the case?" I wanted him to give me a straight answer on this. My Scent of Truth would make discerning the veracity of any claims easy, but only if he MADE claims. He'd been very careful to pose abstract hypotheticals up to this point.

"That's true," he admitted. "But realspace and the Void overlap in many places. If there are noisy spots, there are quiet spots too. Not ALL of the Void is constantly bombarded with noise. At least not normally. For those in the deeper reaches, the war itself is unnecessary noise. Those who live at the edges have dragged the rest of them into this conflict, and it's ruining the peace of the deepchildren."

I hadn't considered that. I knew very little about the Void in general, and Void Children in particular. "Alright," I acknowledged. "So you're interested in what, an alliance? You expect me to believe that?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," he said with a laugh. "There are interested parties who might open a dialogue, is all I'm saying. But that's predicated on your ability to earn that interaction."

I frowned at him. That sounded ominous. Not just what he said, but the WAY he said it. There was a certain hungry amusement to the sentiment that make me tense up. My Danger Sense was pinging, but it had been for a while now. It had suddenly cranked up to eleven. "What are you doing?" I asked him harshly.

He put his hand to his chest in a shocked parody of a gasp. "Me? Why, nothing. Nothing at all. In fact. I was just leaving. Can't very well participate in the test myself. Otherwise the results will be suspect. Have fun now, and don't die on me. I do so look forward to our next talk."

There was a flicker in the air around me, and then he vanished. As did the apartment, and all the black from the fog. I was left standing in a field of unrelenting grey on top of a hill.

I froze. He'd withdrawn the Void taint. I hadn't expected that. But now that it was gone… it was just me and the ghosts. The wish must still be restricting me from meeting anything too far out of my weight class, because none of them were B-rank, but there were several C-ranked spirits. I could see them in the fog, their shapes forming just out of sight.

I tried Dantalion, but it was like trying to look through butter. Too much information in every inch of space for me to easily view what was happening.

"Solomon," whispered a voice in my ear. "Shane," came another from the other side. "We see you," a third hissed. "We KNOW you."

I sighed. "I'm sure," I said in annoyance. "I don't suppose you all became ghosts because you really wanted to see a rainbow or a sunset before you died but never got the chance? Because I could make that happen I'm pretty sure. Maybe you all wanted to taste a really delicious chocolate silk pie? Come on people, last requests, last meals, anything you want."

"We will dine on your soul," came a thousand voices from all around me. "Feast on your flesh. Gnaw on your bones. You will be our last meal, Wyndham. And you will be…delicious."

Sighing, I shook my head, then cracked my neck. I activated the one form I suspected might help me here, triggering my staff to boost Zagan to C-rank as I looked around in annoyance. "Alright, but I have to warn you. I'm way spicier than I look. I'm definitely going to give you indigestion." Sadly, my awesome line didn't seem to have much effect. They attacked anyway. Everyone's a critic.

 

[Bezarius]

"We will dine on your soul," came a thousand voices from all around me. "Feast on your flesh. Gnaw on your bones. You will be our last meal, Wyndham. And you will be…delicious."

Click to shrink...

Fucking D-ranked stereotypical horror movie lines. Get new scripts you poser.

Sighing, I shook my head, then cracked my neck. I activated the one form I suspected might help me here, triggering my staff to boost Zagan to C-rank as I looked around in annoyance. "Alright, but I have to warn you. I'm way spicier than I look. I'm definitely going to give you indigestion." Sadly, my awesome line didn't seem to have much effect. They attacked anyway. Everyone's a critic.

Click to shrink...

Boo, get off the stage. Don't quit your day job Shane.

 

[Malcolm Tent]

Fucking D-ranked stereotypical horror movie lines. Get new scripts you poser.



Boo, get off the stage. Don't quit your day job Shane.

Click to shrink...

Shane:taps microphone "Is this thing on? Man it's dead in here."

 

[Malcolm Tent]

The ghosts fell on me like a pack of rabid hyenas. Probably. I wasn't sure if hyenas retained the necessary presence of mind to form a pack after contracting rabies, but in a general sense, they were a group of very angry barely lucid monsters who definitely wanted to do me harm, so it was close enough.

They weren't the strongest ghosts here. These were C-rank ghosts, not B-rank. I suspected the wish had somehow tweaked things to allow me to end up here, otherwise I'd have definitely met some of the original owners of this place. Still, they fell on me with tooth and claw, and as their hands and weapons sank into my body, I felt icy shards of pain radiate from the impact sites.

It was agonizing, but ultimately not more than I could handle. More than that though, I felt something…deeper. Soul strain. Not from draining power or my own effort, but an actual attack on my spirit in a way I'd never really experienced before. With each burst of pain and damage, the green life energy in me flared, Zagan acting as protection and renewal all at once as it attempted to repair the damage even as it was happening.

My staff whirled, trying to deflect and distance them from me, but I ran into an issue I hadn't expected. Ghosts weren't solid, but my Ten Demons Tree was a soul based item. It could do all sorts of amazing things, including, apparently, physically interacting with ghosts.

While that might have seemed like a good thing under other circumstances, it was definitely NOT in these. My staff couldn't get enough room to maneuver, and the crowd of ghosts was too dense for me to even use Double Trouble to get out of. I couldn't see the edges, and if I appeared behind one of the interior spirits I'd just end up in the middle of the crowd.

So…I dropped the staff. Or at least, returned it to my soul. I needed room to move, and more importantly, I needed to commit. I was letting myself get bogged down in choice paralysis. My C-ranked Zagan form was keeping me from taking TOO much damage, but the bit that was getting through was starting to mount. If I sat around panicking, I was going to get dragged down and killed.

In a situation like this, when I was surrounded and had no way out, I only had one real option. Make a breakout point. Pick a specific ghost and tear into it, then do it again.

I let them all slash and snap and tear, feeling the pain as they tried their best to eat away at my soul. It was horrible, well beyond most of the pain I'd been through even in my trials for the Lady. Most.

But finally, I spotted one that would work. He was…small. I thought he was a kid at first, albeit a tall one, but upon closer inspection, I was pretty sure he was just malnourished and sporting a baby face. I triggered Dantalion as I grabbed him, then focused and started to pour green fire into his spirit.

He froze, then screamed, trying to get away, but I ignored it, holding him like iron as the others tore into me. Dantalion was necessary here. It taught me how to interpret what I was doing, because my next move was something I had never tried before.

Ghosts, by dint of the stories I'd heard, were people who had unfinished business. Spirits of Ascendants left behind when they died. They were NOT human beings. You couldn't leave behind a part of a soul beneath Mirror. If a soul broke, the person it belonged to ceased to exist. Mirror souls were the ONLY exception to that rule. No resurrection, no healing, no last minute save. That was the end. At least for the sentient parts of a soul. People like Benny and my dad could access certain aspects of a soul separate from the part with a will and consciousness, though the how was a little complicated, but their "bound souls" weren't thinking beings with emotions like these ghosts.

Because of this, it could be understood that ghosts were not broken souls. What they WERE, as far as I could tell, were more like…stuck souls. Still complete, but wedged into reality in the wrong way and jammed outside of a body. Ghosts weren't exactly controllable. They were more…confused. Spirits so lost they couldn't leave, and by virtue of that, too confused to resist simple commands as given by necromancers. You could even command your OWN ghost if you did it right, essentially using a ritual or ability to wedge yourself into reality ahead of time with FAKE unfinished business.
Regardless, this process was damaging. In order to get stuck, ghosts needed to be twisted in just the right way. Not many abilities could do it, because souls were tough to interact with, so not everyone understood the process, but I'd looked into it.

Which was where my current plan came from. I focused all my information from Dantalion in this particular spirit. On understanding him. On gaining a grasp of him. "Tyler," I breathed out, staring into his screaming face. "Tyler Reubens." He froze, the flames pouring into him quicker. As they dug in deeper, I gained more information. I learned more about him. The first thing I did was erase any artificial compulsions from necromancy, cleansing his spirit so that if he was being kept stuck it was only by his own will and unfinished business.

Then, once that was done, I started another process. Genesis Burst had been developed to heal my cousin from long term soul damage. The process her father had used to train her willpower to resist recursion had actually shared some similarities with making a ghost, and that gave me a place to start. I focused on the most recent problem plaguing him, the most recent pain of the soul I could find with Dantalion, and then I released a Genesis Burst.

The cleansing fire melted away the pain, easing the hurt and pacifying that part of the unquiet mind. Then I found the next one. I repeated the process. Tyler had gone still, the screaming stopped, and was staring into my eyes, tears trailing down his spectral face. I liked to think that I saw a flash of ease at the end, a split second of relief and gratitude as he began to burn in earnest, and his spectral form was cleansed from the world around it by the flames of Zagan.

After that, it was a blur. Grab a ghost, cleanse a ghost. My head…my head hurt. So badly. I hadn't felt soul strain like that since I was first starting out. Zagan helped with that too, actually, restoring a bit of the damage as I went. About halfway through, I felt another spirit enter the equation. A steady, soothing presence that was always there with me, stepping forward to shield me from harm as Callie interposed herself between the strain of using Dantalion.

She couldn't do much for Zagan. It was a C-ranked skill used through the staff, and she didn't have a Chronicle, so she wasn't capable of holding up under that weight. But she was there. She helped.

When I finally finished, when the last ghost was gone, cleansed from the hill I stood on, I wobbled and started to fall. But I didn't hit the ground. Callie caught me. Her embrace soft and comforting as she lowered us to the ground. I groaned, my head pounding, and looked around for any sign of the Void Vessel. I saw nothing. He was gone, as was the Void taint. The fog left behind had thinned noticeably at least at the edges.

Bethy and Abel appeared beside us, looking tense when they saw my condition. When I waved them off though, they nodded, then took off to help the others. Callie just held me, letting my rest my head in her lap, and rubbed my temples, humming softly as I recovered.

It took me about five minutes of that to realize she'd removed my mask to do it, and another five to realize why the sky above me was so blurry. She didn't speak, didn't even look directly at me. Just sat and hummed and rubbed my head as I cried. Over the tragically short life of Tyler Ruebens, and Daniel Godwin, and Sally Caruthers, and a dozen other people that I'd never met, but whose tragedies I had learned far too much about during that hellish and bizarre panoply of overstimulation and agonizing torment.

I thought I'd known torment. Had understood it. I'd thought nothing could hurt me anymore. But I still had the capacity for taking pains. As I wept there, in the shadow of that haunted castle, a part of me was glad for it. I'd come so far, changed so much, and I was getting farther and farther from the person I had been. Sometimes I relished that growth. Sometimes not so much.

It was hard not to think about my own tragedies. Not the pain they inspired, because I had slowly burned that part of myself away. I had cleansed the scars and the petty poison of weakness from myself, built myself up like I'd needed to in order to become more than I was. I'd Ascended, and left so much behind, just like Zeke had warned me years ago at the beginning of all this.

And just because I was already hurting, was already broken down. I allowed myself the smallest amount of self pity. I allowed myself to cry for one more lost soul. For Shane Wyndham, a shy boy from a backwater city on a backwater mining planet, who I had essentially killed on the path to becoming the man I was today. Because no one else was ever going to know about his sacrifice, or care about his loss.

My maudlin pity party was cut off by a soft pair of lips pressing to mine, and I refocused to find Callie smiling down at me sadly. Tears in her own eyes. "You didn't kill him," she said firmly. I realized I must have been thinking that loudly into the bond for her to pick it up. Probably a side effect of how fragged my head was. "We all grow up. We all change." She nodded at the spot where I'd been standing.

"You saved those people. Strangers you'd never met." She said firmly. "You hurt yourself to lay them to rest and set them free. Not because you didn't have another way, not because you were afraid. Because you cared. Because it was the right thing to do.

Her voice was almost angry in its intensity. "You are every bit the hero you were when we first met. Your heart is every bit as kind. You've come so far. Done so much. And it's been painful, and scary, and hard. You've sacrificed, and lost, and come up short. You protected the people you loved. Brought us with you out into the universe and helped us flourish. You never let go of who you were. Not for a second. Benny can attest to that."

"Is that really a good thing?" I asked hoarsely. "Am I doing that for him? Or am I just clinging to the past pointlessly?"
She grinned at me. "So are you a sentimental idiot who can't let go, or are you a heartless monster who buried all your human emotions in a shallow grave? Can't have it both ways, babe. I think we're going to have to face the fact that you're a flawed, stupid person who sometimes does contradictory things because you can't help but get in your own way. Just like you were the day I met you."

She leaned down to kiss me again. "That boy is still in there, I see him every day. And if you lose sight of him, just ask me, and I'll smack him upside the head so can figure out where he is." I started laughing at that, and I didn't stop. Not even when it broke down into more crying. Of course, Callie was watching out for me. She had us under Murmur. By the time the others came looking, I was back in my mask and perfectly stoic. But I felt lighter somehow. I didn't realize until we had already set off for the nearest Void outpost to try to snag a few more points that my head didn't hurt anymore. How interesting.

 

[Mastersenseinewby]

I wonder how much would it cost for a wish to let him always have perspective on himself and how others see him.