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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Not too sore, are you?

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    Yay, Grayvies making friends! :DDD
     
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  2. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    It's the Fleet from Thanagar.
     
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  3. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Now you have me picturing Grayven's Purple Death Ray playing the Mentos jingle every time it fires. "The Friendmaker!"
     
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  4. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    Well it works for Nanoha...
     
  5. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Versed in the lewd.

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    Is utterly ridiculous that you can set a starship destroying gun to go "non lethal".
     
  6. Steelplaza

    Steelplaza Custom Title

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    You know, I actually don't really know what happened when Renegade previously visited the Justice Lords universe. The story doesn't really do "recaps" and I wasn't reading at the time that arc happened.

    I don't even know where to look for it if I wanted to go back and read that arc.

    This story could really use some Marvel Style editorial notes. "The Renegade visited the Justice Lords back in Arc XXXX, true believer!" Not to pile more work on Zoat's shoulders, as I'm sure it's hard enough to pump these out daily as it is... perhaps other readers could suggest reference notes to be edited into appropriate chapters?
     
  7. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Here it is.
     
  8. Mastigos2

    Mastigos2 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Actually he picked a great way to go easy and nonverbally communicate his intent: "feel my desire to murder you" shoots a healing beam. Then trust the Wisdom of Solomon to catch on
     
  9. Old Knife

    Old Knife Getting sticky.

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    Let the bodies hit the floor. People gonna dieee!
     
  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    People have already died. Perhaps you missed it because the Renegade didn't know their names, but most of those thanagarians are now dead. All of them have families.
     
  11. Old Knife

    Old Knife Getting sticky.

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    Correction then. Superheroes gonna die.
     
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  12. Threadmarks: Conqueror's Moon (part 6)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    26th December 2004
    21:07 GMT -6


    Batson is fast-.

    He winces and tries to evade the beam but it's light speed. His best logical option-.

    I raise a construct shield and hold it over my head as he flies underneath me.

    "Shazam!"

    The lightning bolt strikes, shattering my construct and hitting my body. My armour soaks most of it but I feel an uncomfortable tingling in my left arm. Why are my.. constructs this.. weak?

    Fear. The thanagarians are either dead, flying away or staying back, and Batson's got the Courage of Achilles. I'm not scaring him, I'm not scaring Shayera and I'm… Probably not scaring Rayner.

    Sorry, Sinestro.

    My construct gun vanishes from my right arm and a new one appears on my left. It looks… Slightly more solid than its late yellow counterpart, which I suppose will have to do.

    And Batson's looping back so shield over my head again.

    "William, why are we-?"

    He flies underneath me and then changes direction to fly up underneath me! As soon as I spot his intent I try to evade but he's actually pretty quick. He grabs my legs-.

    "Shazam!"

    Conductive cables!

    The cables appear, running from my shield to Batson himself.

    "Huh?"

    Then the lightning hits, blasting down from wherever the Wizard's lightning comes from and pouring into my shield. The shield lasts a fraction of a second, but the lightning is mostly redirected around me and into Batson.

    Owowowowowow.

    And now Batson isn't grappling my legs so much as hanging off them, opening his mouth-.

    Gag him.

    By your command.

    "Shaumpf!"

    I wreath him in orange chains and then pull him up so that our eyes are level.

    "You should really talk to the Wizard about that weakness. That could get you killed."

    He glares, but it turns out that the most righteous youth on the planet just isn't very good at actual malice. He looks like a grumpy puppy or something.

    "No, seriously, that's your main form of ranged attack and all someone needs in order to end you is a copper wire. Now, if I take the gag out, are you willing to have a civil conversat-?"

    A hammer construct hits me in the face, knocking me back in the air as it flies around and comes at me again!

    "Mister Rayner, it's poor form to-"

    I draw the Sword of the Fallen with my right hand and stab the construct in the head, causing the construct to shatter.

    "-take advantage of the fact that your opponent doesn't want to kill you!"

    "Oof."

    Rayner's construct wall of American football players shatters under Shayera's assault, his follow up brick wall construct failing a moment later. That's the thing to do with Green Lanterns: don’t give them time to focus. Keep them off balance. For a low-will high-creativity type like Rayner it should be particularly effective…

    Right… Up until the point where Shayera smashes his rib cage in and kills him because her mace doesn't have a stun setting. Need to stop this before that happens.

    I turn my attention back to Batson. "I'm going to remove your gag. Don't say 'Shazam'. Okay?"

    He looks back sullenly. "M-mrurh."

    Dismiss.

    "Why did you kill those people?!"

    "Can you narrow it dow-?"

    "The thanagarians!"

    "You mean just now? Because they were trying to kill Shayera. And probably me. You have realised that-."

    "You're the Grayven from January, not the Grayven from Thanagar. Wisdom of Solomon. But did you need to kill them?"

    "Strictly speaking, no, but keeping them alive seemed like an unnecessary risk to Shayera's safety. If you try and kill someone, you lose the right to complain about them trying to kill you. And anyway, they sent out a fake distress call. That's very illegal in most civilised regions. So yeah, heard a distress call, came here, got attacked."

    "Why did you come here?"

    "There was a distress call."

    He regards me sceptically.

    "And I wanted to link up with the Lords who'd signalled they were responding, and I was interested in the nth metal ore. Honestly, I was just expecting some miners. Is there any chance you could call Rayner off so we can go our separate ways?"

    "You tried to take over America!"

    "And I saved millions of lives while getting hit by a nuclear weapon your 'totes legit' president shot at Washington. I really do think that you'd have to be rather unreasonable to bear a grudge about it." I look upwards towards where their ship is settling into low orbit. "The only reason I'm not gagging you, grabbing Shayera and boom tubing away is that I want to make sure that Scott's alright before I leave."

    "Mister Miracle? Why wouldn't he be?"

    "I was practising with my god powers earlier and when I tried empowering him I got interference.. probably from your Grayven."

    "Um, we dropped him off on Thanagar."

    My eyes widen. "Okay, I know he's good at escaping stuff, but another me isn't going to use X-Pit style traps and tricks. He's just going to carry out an orbital strike on the area Scott is in if he feels that his authority is being undermined. Scott isn't even bullet proof. What the hell did you leave him on occupied Thanagar f-?"

    "We're trying to evacuate refugees because the other you is using reprisal attacks to keep control of the thanagarians."

    Ah heck. What exactly happens if the God of Conquest wins a god-fight with the God of Freedom? Nothing good, I'm sure.

    "Fine. I don’t object to that and Shayera is probably all in favour." I look around. "Are we good now? Can we call an end to hostilities?"

    "Can I turn back?"

    "I don't know, Batson. Is Kara in a position to blindside me yet?"

    "Ah…"
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2019
  13. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Yeah, easy to see that coming.

    One guess, Corpsman.

    The joy of fighting Superheroes. Gotta wonder how Sinestro managed it.

    Because you don't want this fight...

    Serious drawback, that.

    Too nice a boy, I guess.

    How rude!

    So, how did he earn the ring in this universe? I doubt he's the most courageous person in the sector...
    Also: That's the thing to do with Green Lanterns: don’t give them time to focus.

    Joy of a berserker.

    Faceless Mooks and all. Not optimal, but...

    It's called Self-defense, kid.

    "Not seriously! Believe me, if I'd been trying, you'd know it."

    And who was holding the idiot ball for any of that to seem sensible?

    He knows how they think, for sure.

    Well, that was pleasant enough. Let's see if things can remain civil for a while longer.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
  14. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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  15. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey Know what you're doing yet?

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  16. HereforZooat

    HereforZooat Getting some practice in, huh?

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    The yellow light indicates fear or the intention to create fear. I don't think it's been specifically brought up, but Grayven could probably use the yellow ring trying to intimidate some rocks.
     
  17. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Not too sore, are you?

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    Wait, so they let Grayven take over Thanagar, then the only thing they did when things turned to shit was drop of Scott as a guerilla type thing and now they are complaining other Grayven is killing Thanagarians that attacked him?

    This seems a little...schizophrenic.
     
  18. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    As it has been noted, not even Guy Gardner cracks jokes about battles with Sinestro.

    Also, Rene-Paul has certainly NOT mastered fear like Sinestro has.
     
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  19. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    One of the problems with writing superhero fanfiction is that if you're writing them in-character, a lot of the major characters tend to come off as either crazy, idiots, or crazy idiots.
     
  20. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    He mostly fought Green Lanterns who were afraid of him.
    Superman: The Animated Series never really made that clear.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Defence of another, actually.
    Scott himself. He wants to help more people and he has a Mother Box for boom tubing.
    Actively killing someone isn't the same as choosing not to help the people who recently tried to blow up your planet.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Metallica can stand on a metal disc and make it fly.
     
  21. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    Sinestro's a better Lantern than Grayven for sure, Grayven's lantern abilities aren't really that great, probably because he focuses on his New God technology and powers, using the rings as accessories and easy-to-use tools. Plus, almost every Green Lantern is, even subconsciously, afraid of Sinestro; I think because of two things, his status as former First Lantern (meaning they acknowledged him as the best of them) and because he apparently survived and came back from Qward, what was supposed to be a death sentence.

    For the situation in Thanagar, I don't think Stormwatch could have prevented Grayven 50 from conquering Thanagar, not even the Thanagarian Empire could (they were losing their war after all). So is not like they let Grayven 50 conquer the place, they just couldn't prevent it and now want to help as much as they can, which probably isn't much but they are superheroes and will try, I bet.
     
  22. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    Ah, right. I was trying to remember the ones that appeared in the Justice League episode. I remembered Ace, super strong guy, stretchy guy, girl with powers I don't remember. And apparently I forgot about King entirely.
     
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  23. Vaermina

    Vaermina I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Absolutely nothing because you're overestimating the strength of your own power.
     
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  24. Buggy123

    Buggy123 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    His own power? You mean Grayven-50's power? Cause Renegade Grayven has little interest in fighting Scott, especially if it'd cause a metaphysical disaster, so it's not him.


    Because Grayven-50 is the son of the God of Tyranny, Terrifying Ruler of Apokalypse, Darkseid. With all the metaphysical oomph that implies.

    And Grayven-50 is so conquer-y that he crowned himself ruler of a entire civilization, and has just gotten through pounding another civilization into dust. And he has all the military force used in that campaign at his immediate command.

    And he's fighting... a person who has baseline-human strength who's special ability is that he can escape from stuff.

    Yeah, sorry but I think I'm going to bet on mister "I can turn your head into a salsa dish with one punch" here.
     
  25. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    You might want to think of Freedom as a conceptual power - so, does it include escaping from dangerous situations?
     
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  26. The Vale

    The Vale Getting sticky.

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    Is this Grayven still emotionally crippled thanks to the anti-life exposure? I was never clear on if that was fully healed or just filled in with a stopgap kind of deal made of the emotional light he got exposed to at the time. Still hoping he gets a full rainbow array of power rings by the way.
     
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  27. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    By not being Hal Jordan, who they didn't want to use...oh, you meant in-universe.

    Apparently based on backfilling...it wasn't really a retcon, per se...from JL/JLU material John Stewart was "in another sector" when Abin Sur's ring chose Rayner in Universe 12 (also Katma Tui specifically refers to Stewart having sent Kyle to Oa for training at one point in an episode. Presumably Universe 50 had a similar timeline.
     
  28. Buggy123

    Buggy123 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    You're right, Grayven-50 would win by a landslide if they actually fought, but Scott's power would help him avoid any such engagements.

    Still though, if the fight happened It would probably be very one-sided. I wouldn't say that any of the Grayvens are underestimating their strength compared to Mister Miracle, unless his power is much stronger than we know and could make it effectively impossible for a fight like that to happen in the first place.
     
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  29. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Know what you're doing yet?

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    They're heroes, they don't ACTUALLY THINK unless they're made to. All they do is pattern match; in this case, probably "evil guy on a killing spree".
     
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  30. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    Conceptual freedom bullshit is a good opponent to conceptual conquest bullshit. Imagine: "I am free. Though my bones may be broken and my body bruised I will never be conquered." Well... That doesn't have the same snap to it as Zoat's technique names, but you get the idea. Hell, I'd buy Scott being able to debuff a Grayven in a fight.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2019
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