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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    We have a wiki, the existence of which is approved by the author. That doesn't say terribly much about the content therein, of course.
     
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  2. Khettien

    Khettien Perpetually confused

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    It is an archaically correct idiom. The phrasing violates modern English grammar, but the idiom predates modern grammar, so it's fine as is. English is like that.
     
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  3. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    There's something that ESL (English as a Second Language) teachers are alleged to sometimes say.

    "OK, I've taught you English, now you know it all. You want to understand what the English say? Now, go out and learn Shakespeare." :)
     
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  4. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Zoat in the Archive story only part here on QQ on the episode 'Triumph of the will' there is a mistake near the end in the final chapter in which renegade talks to Clea.

    The renegade says 'I couple you in touch' when it should be 'I could put you in touch'

    Also when renegade talks to Orin about Venturia and that Majistra shows up for the first time Orin says 'I remembering' when it should be 'I remember' or 'I seem to remember'

    When OL talks to Raquel about Helmut and thinks about Bleed Transmissions and equipment used to track it he says 'The Nazis haven't', maybe it could be 'The Nazis don't'.

    Although the first one sounds fine he says it like they didn't have it in past, but with 'don't' you can clarify that they don't have it now.

    Or you could just say 'the nazis haven't got that type of equipment'
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2020
  5. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Also when renegade talks to Orin about Venturia and that Majistra shows up for the first time Orin says 'I remembering' when it should be 'I remember' or 'I seem to remember'[/quote]
    Thank you, corrected.
    No, haven't got is fine.
     
  6. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Oh good, I was starting to worry you were hit by a bus or something.

    Are you wearing clean underwear?
     
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  7. Doru

    Doru Digimon, Gamer, and Deviant

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    Zoat, why does Paul suddenly have children. Why are said children part of the spider guild?

    Tell me, did Paul actually fuck the spider?
     
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  8. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    Huh. The story only thread has been updated.
     
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  9. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    There were some mistakes, like you wrote 'With could start' when it should be 'We could start'

    'how to feel' should be 'how do you feel'

    Either the Queen somehow took some of his DNA, or she birthed an entire generation with the right mindset for wielding a ring after OL gave her that book.

    Well OL did consider taking over the Citadel and altering the clones so that he can give them the right mindset to wield rings and turn them from a force of oppression into something good.
     
  10. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    It's odd how perfect that timing was.
     
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  11. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    Mr Zoat The story only thread has been updated, but the update's not on the main thread.
     
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Good to see Zoat subverting the trope of an alien man coming to Earth and impregnating human women.

    Now here we have a human that has impregnated a giant alien spider and may have thousand of children with her.

    Truly Zoat sometimes has the most interesting and unique of ideas.

    Now for the reaction of the Team, the League, the rest of Earth, Vega, the OLC, the GLC when Guy spreads the word, and he would do that.

    Truly the name Spider Fucker will follow OL whenever he goes out into space.

    Bet being called Cake Man doesn't seem so bad now, does it Paul?
     
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  13. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Remember back when the spider queen said she was experimenting with new breeds?

    My guess, she used some of Paul's left behind DNA when doing so.
     
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  14. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Or created a breed with the right mindset to wield an orange power ring. He did give her his book on how you can get into the right headspace to wield an orange ring.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2020
  15. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    Ah. And by making them consider Paul as father, they will be loyal at the same time.

    Edit: And also loyal to the Spider Queen as well, I suppose.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2020
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  16. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Hmm, if there is a version of Paul that ended up in the She Ra Princess of Power universe from the 2018 series, then that version of Paul could potentially somehow subvert control of the Horde from Horde Prime and alter the clones to have the right mindset to wield orange rings, like with what paragon wanted to do with the Citadel.

    He'd get control over their galaxy/ies spanning empire and possibly millions if not billions of ring wielders.

    I know Zoat doesn't like the series because of the artwork, which is a stupid reason, but it is an interesting idea.

    And lord knows a version of Paul can greatly help Adora with her issues with her sister.

    The romance between him, Hordak and Entrapta would also be an interesting thing to see. Hordak is a clone with daddy issues. Just like Paul likes his men.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2020
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  17. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Not really, if it were a book or pure audio medium then yes, but as a comic/cartoon series, you've got to spend a lot of time looking at their stuff to get through it. If you can't stand the artwork, it'd be hard to stomach the series.
     
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  18. Threadmarks: Plutonian (part 2)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    12th April
    13:02 GMT +3


    "Ho, Arachneros! Did they throw you out?"

    I turn at the sound of Zosime's voice, and raise my right hand in greeting as she marches down the street towards me.

    "No, but since the whole point of coming here is to get King Orin and King Cyprian to come to understand one another's state of mind, I felt that my ongoing presence was at best a distraction."

    She comes to a halt just before me, and I notice that her civilian clothing is cut to show off as much of her reflective skin as it can without passing beyond what Amazons consider 'polite' clothing.

    "And at worst?"

    "I'd appear to be a threat by one party to the other. And 'arachneros'? Really?"

    She makes an amused snorting noise, raises her right fist with her index and middle fingers extended and then curves them.

    "Okay, one, her genital slit isn't the right shape for that to do anything, two, she's got one on each side, so-"

    I raise both fists, both index and middle fingers extended.

    "-you'd want both hands or you'd leave half of her wanting-"

    Zosime doubles over, wracked by silent hysteria.

    "-and three, with the size difference it's really more-"

    I clench my fists and punch with my right fist while drawing my left back. Then I punch with my left while withdrawing my right. Right forwards left back, left back right forward.

    A small crowd is beginning to congregate, and those closest are giggling and whispering explanations to those further back.

    "-like that. And anyway, I wouldn't want to claim the title based on a single encounter."

    "Wha-? Whe-? When do you think you should g-g-get it?"

    "When she invites me back having sent her attendants out of the room and having arranged for eggsitters and grubsitters to look after her offspring, and I walk in to find her pre-lubricated with decorative lace negligee covering her thorax."

    Zosime is still silently guffawing, but now she moues and a faint moaning sound emerges as I lean closer.

    "And now perhaps you've learned better than to try and embarrass a discordian."

    "Yes. Learned."

    I straighten up.

    "Because let me tell you, our last meeting was purely professional. She's doing well, her branch of the Guild is doing well, and there are absolutely no drider babies."

    Zosime pulls herself upright and makes an effort to compose herself.

    "Drider?"

    "Like a centaur, but rather than having horse-parts-."

    Her eyes widen, her mouth wobbles and she raises her right hand. "N-no, no, I can picture it."

    "Of course, it's not like I'm the only one. When I visited, I found out that they-. I don't know if they were paying customers, or if it was a mutual interest thing, but there were several people more directly engaged than I was, and without my excuse."

    She looks at me in disbelief.

    "There..?"

    "I mean, okay, sailors, but given that most of them had mixed sex crews they clearly had alternatives."

    "Do the..? Male spiders look like..?

    I generate a life size construct of a regular Guilder.

    "Like that."

    One of the women in the crowd takes a step closer, peering at it in clear distaste.

    "With-? With that? Why would anyone knowingly do such a thing?"

    "Really?" I gaze at her levelly. She returns my gaze, giving her head a small shake. "You've been on this island for three thousand years, and you've never even considered looking for a companion who isn't a human woman?"

    A couple of women in the crowd look away, while I walk closer to the spider-sceptic and lay my right arm over her shoulder.

    "Because if so, as a disciple of Eris, I feel obliged to help you out. We could start with a member of another humanoid species, or someone totally non-corporeal? Or how do you feel about automata?"

    That gets a slightly larger portion of the crowd shuffling. Even I've heard the jokes about how popular 'demi-automata massage aids' have become, and I'm hardly ever here. I'm pretty sure that Philippus was blushing when she asked me about getting Themyscira's power grid set up.

    I donated a bleed torsion generator to the cause.

    The sceptic brushes my arm off.

    "I'm perfectly happy with my wives, thank you. And-"

    My ring blinks.

    "-I am not-."

    "I'm very sorry." I raise my ring so that it's more obvious. "I need to take this. Answer."

    The Guilder construct is replaced by a full-sized image of Koriand'r, in traditional Tamaranean dress. That gets more than a few appreciative looks from the Themysciran women.

    "Lantern Koriand'r, what can I do for you?"

    She smiles at me.

    "Illustres. I have… A situation which I think you would want me to bring to your attention."

    "Okay, thank you for your consideration. What is-"

    She looks at something slightly out of shot.

    "-it?"

    "I have been trying to improve relations between the Queen of the Spider Guild and the rest of Vega. It is.. difficult, but I will maintain the peace."

    "I'm glad to hear it."

    "But the Queen-."

    Something, a small Guilder, jumps onto her shoulders and peers in the direction of the 'camera'.

    "Daddy?!"
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2020
  19. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    Oh my... Paul, you hussy. What will Jade say?
     
  20. DonLyn

    DonLyn Getting out there.

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    Huh. I didn't know Eris could fake lantern calls.
     
  21. Tavarokk

    Tavarokk Pursuer of perversion

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    So. Eris expanded into Vega cluster? If not, she'll be really bummed out that such a thing, and with such a perfect timing and delivery at that, came to be without her involvement.
     
  22. Citizen

    Citizen Well worn.

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    And after he just got finished asserting this exact thing had not happened.
     
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  23. Prognostic Hannya

    Prognostic Hannya Knight of the Yuri Crusade

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    AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    *breathes in*
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

    Paul is so fucked.

    Seriously though, how does that even work? Last time I checked human hands (or humanoid hands, since Paul is basically the New God of Avarice) don't produce any fluid aside from sweat, let alone sperm. Let alone SPIDER sperm. I mean, I've heard "my girlfriend is my right hand", but this is ridiculous.
     
  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    At the time of posting I was in my summer pyjamas, which were clean on as of Wednesday.
    That depends on how you define 'fuck'. Clinton would have said 'no'.
    Yes, I forgot that I hadn't clicked on 'Post Reply'. I usually leave it a few minutes because that seems to make the Threadmark actually appear sometimes.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Compared to what?

    An annoying character won't be on screen all the time. An annoying plot either won't last for long or can ignored from the point of view of plot-quanta. Bad art? Bad art is always there. To ignore it you have to watch with your eyes shut.
     
  25. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    He invoked Eris, on Themyscria.
     
  26. theaceoffire

    theaceoffire Versed in the lewd.

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    "Mmm, Momma likes!"
    And you just know that Eros is involved in this.
     
  27. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  28. Prognostic Hannya

    Prognostic Hannya Knight of the Yuri Crusade

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    Oh I'm dumb lol, I just saw the opportunity for the masturbation joke and I took it.

    Not gonna lie tho, now that I think about it a "Paul adopts a spider-Lynne" arc would be really interesting. You don't see humans adopting non-humanoid aliens much in Sci-Fi, so it would be an interesting avenue to explore. Like, sure you can find a Tamaranian baby cute, it's basically a human baby with orange skin. But can you find a tarantula baby cute?
     
  29. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Let me guess, Themysciran Greek for Spider-Lover?

    Ah, one of the Amazons involved in Johnny Sorrow's attack on the Royal Vaults. The one who get fused into a mirror, yes?

    Taking advantage of her transformation, eh? I bet she's gotten some attention because of it.

    Okay, who told the Amazons about his little 'indiscretion' in Vega? Did OL tell the story himself offscreen at some festival, and people jumped to conclusions because Eris?

    And besides, he thought it was a spiracle. She didn't say anything about it before he went diving in!

    Wouldn't do to leave a lady unsatisfied, and we know OL takes that sort of thing seriously.

    I'm guessing spider-guild mating doesn't involve a lot of motion...

    And yet he's clearly had quite some though put into the matter, just in case?

    A lady who takes control of matters, eh? I fear for the being who can keep up with her... o_O Also, that'd be a lot of lace...

    Ah, he was playing it for laughs... I hope Eris is paying attention. This is exactly the sort of thing she wants him doing. I mean, does he still have the Anti-Scrying tattoos on, or at least added an exception for her? Then again, she can probably see the commotion he's causing.

    ...Dang spoilers in thread... Now I'm wondering just how human-like the next generation of Spider-Guild looks.

    Oh, you have got to get the ladies hooked on D&D. Tell them it's like play-acting the tales of heroes. I bet they'd go in for a much more detailed combat system than the normal game, though...

    They're definitely one for the leg-lovers. Of course, there's boy driders too, for the ladies.

    And now I'm wondering if he's playing oblivious for laughs here, just to troll them harder.

    Oh, god no. I mean, sure, some xenophiles might go that far...

    Keep in mind, they do look like spiders who walk upright. Not even close to any Human standard of attractiveness... Except maybe the aforementioned Xenophiles...

    I know, right?

    Oh-ho, some xenophiles in the crowd, I see? I wonder, Dryads, or Naiads? Or where they after a more heterosexual experience. What's the earthen equivalent of a Dryad?

    x3 I do hope they invested in rechargable batteries.:V

    Suuuure you are. But maybe one of them would like to spice things up? Cosmetics, perhaps? Temporary prosthetics? OL can arrange it.

    Possibly the first time an Amazon has had that pulled on them, except maybe involving Diana.

    Ah, now this is the sort of fun the Amazons can get behind. And in front of. Sort of all-round cuddling, really. OL really needs to invite the princesses here sometime... I suspect they'd be quite popular. :D

    :rolleyes: Better than the last time. We all remember what happened there.

    Oh, that can't be easy. She's not one for taking on small problems, is she?

    Good thing OL has total control of his metabolism, some men would faint dead away at that sort of thing. x3 Oh, dear... Did the Amazons around him see that? Well, he ain't getting rid of that nickname anytime soon!

    I can just imagine the headache OL would be feeling without the Ring... Seriously, when did the Queen get a sample of his DNA? I find it highly unlikely he'd ever have lowered his environmental field at any time in Vega... Or was that a more metaphorical 'Daddy'? Perhaps this new generation is primed for Lanternhood and consider him their father in spirit? Let's hope we find out tomorrow! :cool:
     
  30. Dragonvx100

    Dragonvx100 Not too sore, are you?

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    ...how? Just how?
     
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