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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Odysseus2099

    Odysseus2099 Versed in the lewd.

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    Someone else brought that up earlier in the thread.
    In other words Zoat (and thus OL) didn't know what NASA stands for and just made something up.
     
  2. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Paul does that a lot.

    At this point I fully expect his team and coworkers laugh about it behind his back.
     
    Jaron likes this.
  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. If you're referring to the interweaving of the Renegade and SI components, I did that because they are happening at the same time. People commented at the time that it wasn't easy to follow and I've avoided doing it again.
    Threadmarks in the Story Only thread move between the start of each episode.
    The Renegade suddenly recognised it and so immediately thought the name.
     
  4. Threadmarks: Plutonian (part 8)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    12th April
    14:21 GMT -5


    "Shouldn't you be in school?"

    Richard shakes his head.

    "Batman's busy with the 'ClusterCorp' thing and the 'Russia has spaceships' thing, and you're in Gotham."

    "I live in Gotham."

    Richard smirks.

    "So you get why he's concerned."

    "…extremely disrespectful to public property."

    "Ah… Yeah… Babe."

    Below us, Koriand'r attempts to berate two young men who were graffitiing an underpass while Detective Montoya looks on. I don't think they've stopped staring at her breasts since she landed.

    I'd criticise, but they are very nice breasts being displayed to their best advantage.

    "So is that Komand'r or Koriand'r?"

    "Koriand'r."

    "Why do you think her name sounds like 'coriander'?"

    "There are only so many syllables."

    "Does she know those guys are checking her out?"

    "I… Fifty-fifty. She knows that she's attractive, but she also knows that she's an alien on an isolated world. And Tamaraneans are a lot more open about that sort of thing than humans tend to be."

    "…paint over the marks you have made to restore this place to pristine condition."

    "Can we just paint over this bit? I mean, the city hasn't done any painting here for, like, years."

    "No, because you are being punished for your misdeed. Now go!"

    One takes a step away from her, probably-. Yep, intending to head home and forget this ever happened, which sounds like a good way to get an alien warrior princess knocking on your door to me. The other hesitates.

    "If I do, will you give me your number?"

    Koriand'r looks slightly puzzled.

    "I do not have a number. I am a person; I have a name."

    There's a somewhat complicated burst of emotion from the other chap, a combination of irritation that his friend is drawing this out combined with good natured envy at his friend for having the moxie to ask.

    "Could you get me her number?"

    I raise my eyebrows.

    "What? I'm fifteen. And she's… How old is she?"

    "She's from a different planet, a different species and a different culture. Her people consider her an adult. I've pegged her as seventeen-equivalent. And she doesn't have a number."

    "She doesn't have a number or she doesn't 'have' a number?"

    I actually don't know what Tamaraneans do for telephones. Adam said that their communications were working, but I didn't think to ask what that means for individual citizens. I'll have to ask Koriand'r.

    "Look, she's right there. You can just talk to her, or ask me to send her a message, or ask any other Lantern in the universe to send her a message."

    "Because Lanterns are so-. Huh." He nods. "Earth actually does have a lot of Lanterns. That's actually not so hard."

    "I know. We have more Lanterns assigned here than any other Sector in history. Though.. Sector Lanterns are a post-Qarrigat thing, so there were probably regions before that which had more Lanterns."

    "You said that Orange Lanterns can do whatever they want when they're not doing Orange Lantern work. Does that mean that Koriand'r is a free agent?"

    "She's assigned to Vega. She's here because she's interested in Earth and Vega is quiet at the moment. This is.. sort of a holiday, so… Yes."

    "I don't suppose she works for another trading company?"

    I shake my head.

    "I already thought of that. Tamaran-." No, she can use her ring for private commercial activities, as long as they don't conflict with her official assignments. "Tamaran doesn't really have anything to export at the moment. In.. five to ten years they'll have spare space in their space docks and a population with a space age education, but at the moment the place is too badly damaged."

    "Is there anything they want from us?"

    "You can ask, but I doubt it. They're rebuilding and don't want to be dependent on aliens, but they're rebuilding back up to a higher level of technology than we have. Ah, in widespread deployment at least. They used to have an interstellar fleet and interstellar merchants. The only thing we could really offer would be mass low-tech manufacturing, and then there's.. the problem of shipping."

    "I thought they were building an interstellar fleet?"

    "'Interstellar' doesn't mean instant, it just means that they can get from system to system without needing a generation ship. Flying around Vega is a day or two between systems, but the planets in Vega are weirdly close together. Depending on which FTL drive they go for, flying from Vega to Earth could be anything from six months to two years."

    "It doesn't take Lanterns that long."

    "True, but I don't-."

    My ring blinks.

    "Illustres here."

    The helmeted head of Comic King appears, and my heart sinks.

    "How can I help?"

    "Are the Russians natural pranksters?"

    "I'm afraid that I don't know enough about Russian culture to answer that. Why do you ask?"

    "Their fleet has vanished."

    Oh… Gods.. damn it.

    "And my ship disappeared as well."

    "And you can't track it?"

    "ClusterCorp has an excellent safety record for the lives of our senior executives! All standard tracking procedures will have been implemented the moment anything untoward happened! I have received no signal, and my ring shows nothing!"

    "Alright, that's a little-."

    "Nothing! Nothing at all."

    "I underst-."

    "Not the slightest buzz of the hypercom, not a fizz from the bleedcom."

    "Any deb-?"

    "Not a peep of a spatial dis-."

    "Mute. I will begin investigating. Feel free to either make yourself useful or keep out of my way. Illustres out."

    I lower my left hand as Richard breathes in sharply.

    "Well that isn't good."
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2020
  5. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    Represent!
     
  6. Twilight666

    Twilight666 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Is Detective Montoya included in the ones staring at Koriand'r's breasts?
     
  7. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Not too sore, are you?

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    Russia: We have a space fleet.

    Whatever This Is: You had a space fleet.
     
  8. Bigking321

    Bigking321 Not too sore, are you?

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    Ok. This made me burst out laughing.

    What a wonderful opening line.
     
  9. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    Oh that's a shame. Gone. Probably for good. Such. A. Shame.
     
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  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    So you're using her post Red Hood and the Outlaws costume.
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]

    Well it's certainly more modest than her pre n52 and Outlaws comics costume she wore.

    Though I'm not sure she would mind if she had to wear those costumes. Think you once said that Tamaraneans tend to wear just enough clothing to cover up their reproductive bits

    Here's her costume in the JL Odyssey comics if you want her to go in more armor.

    [​IMG]

    True.

    Most likely I suspect.
     
  11. King of Frost

    King of Frost Wishing I was somewhere colder no doubt.

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    It's probably unrelated but I'm hoping this is more interplanar bullshit so OL has the chance to kill the evil rapist version of himself.
     
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    It probably isn't sadly.

    My guess is either some other alien, or a mad scientist from Earth.

    Or a combination of both, a mad alien scientist on Earth.

    ClusteCorp may have a lot of enemies and they decided to get some payback for something and the Russians got caught in the crossfire.
     
  13. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Paul forgets that Earth has interstellar Zeta Beam technology.

    Time to make your bets everybody.

    A) The US Government decided it was tired of this and blew the Russian's out of the sky with one of their many many superweapons.

    B) The Light made their move and stole everything.

    C) The Russians decided to steal the Cluster Corp ship.

    D) Darkseid didn't like Cluster Corp interfering with his business arrangement.

    E) Boss Smiley decided to teach Paul a lesson.
     
  14. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They also may have had help from the guys on Rann for that one and their current Zeta Beams may only work in the radius of their solar system not several light years after it.

    Maybe, but probably not. Still maybe.

    Zoat once said that paragon Darkseid barely thinks of the Earth. Him shaking hands with Savage also may not be any indication of his interest in the planet as he could do the same with thousands of others from different worlds. I also think the members of the Light made contact with Apokalips in jut the last few years and not when Savage mad a deal with the Big D centuries ago when he was plaing warlord.
     
  15. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Zoat said that before the new season's started coming out that showed otherwise.
     
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  16. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    He also showed Barda as having defected from Apokalips.

    Canon Darkseid may be more interested in Earth, this stories not so much.

    Hell show Darkseid could also not care all that much and has deals like the one he has with Savage with others on other worlds.
     
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  17. Nervaqus987

    Nervaqus987 Well worn.

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    And Barda and Scott are also happily married and on Earth, unlike in canon where neither of those things are true.

    It's a safe bet not to treat Season 3 as Canon aside from whatever bits Zoat decides he wants to pick out.
     
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  18. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    And you’ve decided to cite a source that Mr Zoat has explicitly said does not apply to his story... why, axactly?
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Good armour does not merely cover the wearer's shoulders, forearms and... Hips?
     
  20. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Hey people can try to hurt you there.

    At least it's more armored than just a sports bra and some short shorts.

    The purple parts of it may also be more armored than they look.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2020
  21. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    It’s the evolution of the bikini armour.
     
  22. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    So, was Robin just in the neighbourhood or does Batman have standing orders about OL being unaccompanied in Gotham?

    Yes, that's why he's worried.

    See, even Robin agrees with me!

    When a six foot tall orange babe in skimpy space armour is talking to you, you tend to pay attention, yes.

    If it were Komy, she'd probably already have smacked them upside the head for ogling her. Even if she is Tamaranean, she's cynical enough to know what head they're thinking with right now.

    Says the boy who uses words like 'whelmed'...

    She's probably tolerating it, until they try to get handsy.

    I presume she's supplying paint for them to use... Or remotely acquiring it from wherever...

    He's presuming a lot, isn't he? His little head must have taken over... Also, Detective Montoya standing right there. She's not moving to intercept the first guy? Or is she considering asking for Kory's number too?

    If it weren't a bad time, he'd probably be facepalming.

    Ah, so young Dick is interested, eh? Think clean thoughts, chum, OL knows what you're wanting...

    Not enough gap to be squicky. but still a little uneven. And Kory's life experiences are a little unbalanced due to her upbringing...

    Or arrange a little QEC system. Like you did for Georgia Sivana?

    And someone actually noticed it. A bit disproportionate, isn't it? Four Green Lanterns from the same planet (two Honour Guard, two Sector Lanterns) plus OL...

    Hoping she plans to move here permanently, little bird?

    To be honest, that is a logical question in the face of Manga Khan... "Lord-Lantern!"

    And I doubt Earth would be their first port of call...

    Not unless they can produce some kind of interplanetary equivalent to a Dolmen Gate... Earth and Tamaran are a bit too far apart for casual commutes.

    Ooof. That would be a dull ride. Or at least you'd hope so.

    Lanterns have some of the best FTL in the galaxy. That's not a standard to hold anyone else up to.

    Crap, now what?

    They certainly aren't known for it, no...

    ...Fuck.

    Double fuck! That's not good at all.

    Can your systems transmit to your ring? Remember that little issue with Venturia?

    Okay, yes, we heard you.

    I sincerely hope he's using real devices, not constructs...

    Oh, god, such open-ended instructions. You just know he'll fuck something up...

    o_O ...Gee, you think?

    Okay... Looks like we have an actual crisis. God only knows how the Russians are reacting to this right now. Hopefully not blustering and threatening too loudly.

    Her people consider her an adult.
     
  23. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    High chance he does.
     
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  24. Z3r0Sama

    Z3r0Sama Not too sore, are you?

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    So anything artificial in space near earth is gone?

    Justice League: We have a Watchtower.

    Paul: You had a Watchtower.
     
  25. TheEyes

    TheEyes Well worn.

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    Think that's more the waist or kidney area on a human, but who knows what the vital areas of a Tamaranian are? Maybe their brains are in their shoulders? That'd frankly make a lot more sense than putting them in an external sensory appendage like those Earthian monkeys; what evolutionary mistake thought that was a good idea?
     
  26. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  27. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

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    Just Keep Calm and Ogle Koriand'r's Breasts.
     
  28. Z000

    Z000 If this is trash, then find me in the dumpster

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    welcome to Earth, where anti-scan ward have become a massive hit
     
  29. Grimnar

    Grimnar Versed in the lewd.

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    I... don't think he technically counts as a rapist?

    The way I understand it is the original personality is basically killed and replaced with a new, more... amenable personality.

    So the persoanlity wipe would count as murder, but the new person is then in charge of the body. So not rape... but since the original personality is dead and he is having sex with it... does that make it necrophilia? Or whatever the manslaughter equivalent of Necrophilia would be?

    Ooh, but since he created the new personality, would it count as a pseudo incest (he's basically the father) grooming type of rape?

    Inquiring minds want to know.



    The ability of comic book bullshit to uterly twist and break the legal system is amazing.
     
  30. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    You want to put the majority of sensory organs near the brain due to potential information transmission lag - also due to amount of nerves required for those organs to be used. If our eyes were further away, we would lose out fairly substantially on reaction speed. It takes a noticeable amount of a second for a message to get from the brain to any part of the body to move - imagine if the same thing happened whenever you needed to move your eyes or something and your vision processing was always a noticeable part of a second behind actual events.
     
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