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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    There's no evidence that the Star is affecting the Martians and Paul doesn't have access to Burning Martians.
     
  2. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    For most of the universe, yes. However, anyone living on DC Earth is going to assume anything weird has a giant monster inside.
     
  3. Threadmarks: Plutonian (part 19)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    12th April
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    Three basic options.

    Alpha strike. It's big, bigger than Ranx and possibly bigger than Mother of Mercy's actual body. But it isn't immortal. The Green Lantern Corps killed its brethren with constructs and none of them had the raw power that I do. I'm pretty sure I can kill it, half asleep as it is, but my chances are best if I go full power right from the start.

    Mind control. Same as the above, but with the orange light. Mother Stars are resistant to constructs but far from immune. Enough orange light on the primary neural clusters and it'll be mine. Probably. Its unusual neural structure combined with its telepathic abilities mean that it might be able to consciously resist, and I've got no idea what sort of personality it has. If it turns out to be profoundly selfless then that option might not work.

    Actually talk to it. It is an intelligent being who was probably hiding here because it knew that its species was being destroyed. It's got to know that trying to hide again isn't going to work. The Guardians are older than it is, and they aren't the sorts to leave a job unfinished. The Controllers could protect it, and might if they thought that it would behave itself. Even if it mind controlled the entire population of the Earth, there's no way it could take the fight that is coming.

    Or I could combine the last two. Tease out what it wants while it's too sleepy to resist effectively, nudge its desires a little…

    But highest priority is protecting the people on the ClusterShip.

    Okay… Gah. Koriand'r is right there. Alan's right there. I've got a rough idea of the parts of its body it uses for its anti-ship telekinesis surges. I… Should be able to do this.

    Mother Stars can detect radio waves, so…

    "Hunger for what?"

    I deploy probe constructs, trying to get more accurate scans of its interior. I'm… Going to need to know when it starts becoming more active.

    **Hunger.**

    I try to-. Ugh. Given its size, I suppose that I shouldn't be surprised that it has a decentralised neurology. Neuron clusters ranging in size from standard humanoid brains to the size of football stadiums are placed throughout its body, bound together by a telepathic field that is building back up in fits and starts. I'm probably not talking to.. all of it at the moment. Different bits want different things, and it's like trying to look at a civilisation comprised of members of different species. I'm not sure what bits I'm talking to, but at least it's responding.

    Sort of.

    "You don't appear to have a digestive system. Are you hungry for attention?"

    **HungerCold. HungerCold.**

    The last large piece of Pluto is telekinetically hurled in the direction of the Oort cloud. There are still bits of Pluto clinging to its skin, and I see a swath of ice shards the size of Ireland flake off as it straightens its tentacles.

    Ring, message to Captain Atom. Message: am attempting to talk giant starfish down. Please let me know if you want me to do something else. Send.

    Message sent.

    "If you're cold, I'm happy to take you closer to a star. Would that help?"

    Its eye is.. moving. Given the size difference I'm not sure if it can actually see us. No, wait, those brains are spec'd for detailed telekinesis. It probably doesn't 'see' so much as 'feel'.

    How did they make these things?

    **Cold Stop Dead notDream Hunger.**

    If that was a sentence then my rings would have translated it. It's just throwing out words, probably as bits of its mental network flare up. Which means that I'm just speaking so that parts of it have something that isn't the ship behind me to focus on.

    Ring, play it relaxing music.

    Compliance.

    And while it's doing that, I'm going to try to make sense of its desire networks.

    "Lantern Koriand'r, I'm going to try and work out what it wants. Please begin towing the ClusterShip away."

    "I cannot move it fast enough to escape-."

    "I don’t expect you to be able to dodge an actual attack. I just want you to avoid its telekinetic flailings."

    "Then I will do so at once."

    She flies away, moving to the approximate centre of the ClusterShip's mass and extending constructs outward.

    Right, let's… Take a look.

    If regular scans weren't telling me which bits weren't back in contact with the rest, empathic vision makes it extremely obvious. Networks of desires and fears just.. cut off, or… Exist, but the drives and memories which created them are somewhere else. And with a mental network this size and this disconnected I.. genuinely can't.. identify them all.

    That part has… A fear response to certain shapes and sensations… Attackers? And a desire for certain other sensations. No green, as that bit never had to process competing inputs. It just does what it does. I.. think that bit is a part of its anti-attack craft system, which would explain why there's no violet or indigo at all. An anti-aircraft gun doesn't need to love or empathise.

    Okay, so that's what those do. What about… Oh, that's interesting. It doesn't have the horrifying mouth parts that the other types do. Rather, that's replaced by what could… Either be a hangar or a.. womb. I mean, normal starfish extrude their stomachs to eat. The.. neural clusters in that area.. miss.. having other Star Conquerors around. Maintaining that mental contact-. Oh, those can stand in for being stuck on people's faces. The Green Lantern Corps never really studied exactly how they worked… Or if they did, Salaak didn't think to include that information in the data he sent us when they first showed up.

    Those clusters… A slightly more complete emotional range.

    **DreamHunger.**

    But the structures don't make any sense. I'm seeing at least a recollection of the entire spectrum in there, but the thing itself…

    Ring, structural analysis. Any idea what those are for?

    Analysing.

    Okay, yes, that looks like it could be a data store. Mother of Mercy has similar structures, though not similar enough to be related. And those look vaguely like… Telepathic receivers? A communication network? Star Conquerors are telepathic, and they must have had some way of remaining in long range contact.

    But comparing to the telepathic systems on record, it looks like something's… Missing? I could be completely wrong, there isn't anything quite like this-.

    **NoDream. NoBeacon. HungerHungerHunger. AwakenMistake.**

    That was a bit more coherent. And… How did they feed these things? Star Conquerors didn't consume their hosts, even when they were starving. Does 'dream' mean their telepathic field? They're not a hive species, but there's usually a level of mental exchange amongst telepathic species, so-.

    Parts of its neural network are shutting down. Ring, why?

    Exhaustion. Stress. Starvation.

    It's dying? I mean, there are all sorts of things that can go wrong with cryogenic suspension, but I rather assumed that they'd have a work-around if…

    That's what the Star Hunters were doing. Something about… How they were acting was supposed to keep the Mother Star alive. And… It's going dark. Already the major clusters are dimming, and-.

    I

    dive into its earliest associations and see eternity.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2020
  4. Brian_Fiction

    Brian_Fiction Terribly Lost

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    What is with Paul and recklessly connecting to immensely powerful beings? And what's he going to do when the Ophidian finds out? :V
     
  5. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Try to convince her for a threeway mental session.
     
  6. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Try and make some excuse that he wasn't cheating on her, probably.
     
  7. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    I know, right? He keeps trying to consume energy fields larger than his head.
     
  8. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    Oh... you're going to make us sad for a planet sized, telepathic starfish aren't you?
     
  9. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    Okay... So... Paul is trying to communicate with it for now because the ship is close by, so he's waiting for it to be moved away so he can murderise the thing. Only then he finds out it's dying anyway... So he... Okay, I have no idea why he's trying to do a deep dive in that case. I legit don't know why he's doing what he's doing. I'm 100% sure star conquerors are on his list of "okay to genocide" species, something he only in the previous update reaffirmed he's entirely okay with doing.

    So... Why does he care what its desires are in its death throes?
     
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  10. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    So disappointing.

    For a moment I thought we might get an actual fight, but instead it's Dues Ex Machina nerfing things to easy mode again.
     
    Jaron, Grimnar and drasteed like this.
  11. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    "Mother Star, you want to satiate your hunger. I want you for the Orange Lantern Corps. Take my ring."
     
  12. Onion

    Onion Making the rounds.

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    Dream, as in the source of magic dream?
     
  13. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    Not all conflicts have to be violent.
     
  14. doug89

    doug89 Versed in the lewd.

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    First we got Orange Lantern Mother of Mercy. Now are we going to get Orange Lantern Mother Star?

    The Guardians would be pissed.
     
  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    He managed to make a spider monster cute, so Zoat can do a lot of interesting things.

    Speaking of which.

    Anyone here hoping that if this Mother Star comes to the side of good that she makes Jarro?

    I know I am.

    Remember when he said that he's only human because of habit?

    Paul's enlightenment has altered the way he thinks and reacts to things.

    When Mandate Paul was fighting Savage he got a look at his desires and thought that if he was a more enlightened Lantern that he would find him more fascinating, but as he was then he just wanted to kill him more.

    It is frustrating that he does things like this, but it is a fascinating look into a mindset that is becoming more and more non human.

    That's what Zoat wants us to see.

    A look into a mindset that is becoming more and more different.
     
  16. Faiir

    Faiir Getting out there.

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    Yeah, OL is getting all the MILFs.
     
  17. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    No, but this was one of the few things left that could have given Paul a real fight for us to enjoy that wouldn't be, one way or another, a boring curb stomp.

    But instead we get just another in a long line of author created Dues Ex Machina.
     
    Grimnar likes this.
  18. FreeGod

    FreeGod If you see a God on the road fuck it!

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    I doubt it. The Guardians actually tend to be happy when they can in good conscious declare things not their problem.
     
  19. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Seriously, why are you debating it? Go for the kill shots, you know what it wants. And what it wants is not good for anything else.

    Don't, it'll be like chaining a hungry tiger. You know the second the bindings loosen, it will attack everything around it...

    That assuming it doesn't have over'weening arrogance that renders it incapable of fearing anything else in existence. For all you know, it hid itself so it could emerge later when its enemies aren't expecting it, to build up a force capable of defeating them.

    Yes, please, remember why you're out here. :eek: Seriously, is thing broadcasting a stupid field that makes you reach for the idiot ball?

    Oh, goddammit, he's already holding the idiot ball with both hands, and is humping it hard...

    And where to shoot to kill it most efficiently...

    So, not single brains the size of England, but more like clumps built up like cities...

    At a guess, the 'hunger' is some system calling for the power supplies to come online...

    :eek: God, the scale of it... Humans were not meant to deal with shit like this...

    Response: "Why are you trying to talk to it? Are you nuts? Oh god, why'd Batman have to send me..."

    It's 'eye' would have to have nerves transmitting faster than light to have any real-time visual perception, certainly.

    Looks like more of its' brains are coming online. If you're going to do something to it, OL, do it soon, before it decides to swat you. This is not the Rachni Queen here!

    So you're acting as a distraction. Good, get the others moving before it notices them!

    :cool: I don't think it's in the mood for smooth jazz.

    Just get moving, girl. Get Manga Khan and Alan to help you. Blue might not have the same boosting effect on Orange that it does on Green, but every little bit will help.

    Since pulling on any one part will just pull that part off. Damn cheapest bidder trash.

    I doubt that looks all that pleasant, given your reaction to the Chaos Starro's mind-whammy of its' thrall's desires.

    Specialised brain tissue clusters. Because of course every bit of its brains are compartmentalised...

    Why would he? You wouldn't need to know anything other than how to kill them.

    Still not coherent desires, eh? You still have time, OL. Stop wool-gathering and do something.

    More importantly, where's the best place to punch it righteously? Since it lacks an actual face and all.

    So it's lacking the interstellar telepathic communications it would need? Good, it can't call for help.

    ...Did it just say... It didn't want to wake up?

    Lack of input? Wi-fi systems can do that when they're idle. Is... Are the Star Mothers only hostile in the presence of the smaller ones?

    :confused: Oh, god... You are playing this like it's the Rachni Queen. And you're trying to make us feel sorry for it?

    Ophidi-chan's going to be pissed you did this without her, you know. It might well be the first emotion other than Want she's felt in eons...

    Okay... Well, at least they won't have to fight something the size of a small moon. I doubt a Star Mother has a handy unshielded thermal exhaust port you can torpedo. Tomorrow is going to be one hell of a trip, I bet.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2020
  20. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    I feel like that's becoming more and more of a blanket excuse for Paul doing things that don't make sense. Especially when they don't make sense compared to the already established factors of his non-human mindset like an absurd readiness to commit genocide. That certain species are disposable. He has shown no indication that star conquerors are interesting enough that he needs to do a looky-loo. He just kind of... Does it.

    Alien mindsets, sure, fine, whatever. But if an author wants to do that they need to at the very least try to get that mindset across to the readers, at least display it in a consistent way. Otherwise it's just doing things for the sake of doing things and there's no underlying meaning to it whatsoever.
     
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  21. FreeGod

    FreeGod If you see a God on the road fuck it!

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    Not really. That sort of mind control is like killing the person and replacing them with someone that wants what you want them to want. The "bindings" can't be broken anymore then ash can be turned back into wood.
     
  22. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    That's actually a fascinating look at how the brain/mind of something that size might actualy work.

    Well done again, Zoat.

    As for hunger: could it simply be that the mining laser doubled as a power source?

    And...well, do we really want it to become coherent? Telepathy on that size could be extremely hard to block. And it's not as if their race is known for it's diplomacy...
     
  23. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    "Look at this rich history of desires I found for you."
     
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  24. TheEyes

    TheEyes Well worn.

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    It's possible that he's researching its history and motivations to get a handle on the larger Star Conqueror problem.

    Or maybe he intends on cheating on Jade / the Ophidian with it.

    Or maybe he intends on using it to wake up Earth's governments to extrasolar threats, since the last time they actually did anything it was when there was a violent alien invasion. Granted, their response the first time was to hand military command over to a gaggle of masked face-punchers, but at least it was a coordinated response.

    Or maybe he wants to eat it.

    Who knows anymore? We get extended thought screeds foreshadowing one set of actions, only for OL to do something completely different.

    Hopefully we can get back to Grayven's Pony Adventures soon. At least that story can pick a lane.
     
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  25. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    The repeated mention of Dream reminds me of the JLA storyline where they defeated Starro and the Starro were all captured by Dream the Endless (Daniel Hall). Since Daniel Hall is human in this story, I wonder if we'll get to see the OG Dream. If yes, I wonder what the Star Conquerors did to tick him off? Because I believe trapping the giant starfish into a planetoid and creating Pluto is definitely within Dream's power.
     
  26. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    You do realise that people may sometimes lack a consistent mindset?

    People can think a certain way, but do things that seem contrary to that way of thinking.

    He hasn't lost all of his human mindset, he still has it, but he also has a mindset influenced by both his enlightenment and the fact that he has a piece of the Ophidian as a soul.

    Neither mindset may have taken a front row seat in his head so sometimes he does what one of them tells him and other times he does what the other tells him.

    We also may find it difficult to distinguish when his enlightenment is speaking and when his human mindset is speaking.

    His ease at commiting genocide could be his humanity speaking, people that are willing to go to extremes with no regret do exist, while his desire to see the desires of others could be his enlightenment speaking.

    They did once mind control entire civilizations.

    Maybe by doing that they somehow damaged a portion of the Dreaming.

    The Mother Star may not have been imprisoned in Pluto, but went there willingly in case her race was destroyed so that she can come out later and repopulate.
     
  27. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    ... Did people miss what kori said last chapter about how she "wants to be someone who tries" to solve problems without resorting to genocide?

    He's not scanning it because he cares, but because he wants to make Alan proud and provide a good example for his junior.

    In his place I'd have gone for the kill-shot immediately, and I think he's endangering his friends and the whole human race by fucking around with this thing, but I respect the attempt.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2020
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  28. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    He actually made very clear in the previous update that he 100% still agrees with his prior actions, made no mention of reconsidering them based on Kori's words or Alan, and instead suggested Kori is a poor match for the lantern colour he embodies because of her attitudes to such things. Basically that he's fine as he is, but she's the one in need of change.

    So... No. Not only is what you're suggesting not in the text, the text in fact says the exact opposite.

    Great. Maybe Zoat should actually convey some of his mindset, what feelings are determining his actions so people can at least make an attempt to understand the character.
     
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  29. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    That's an interesting guess, but I'm pretty sure it has more to do with his altered mindset that may compel him to actually see what other people want, even when it would be illogical to do that.
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  30. Rebu

    Rebu hey, little Anna, you're the one

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    I recommend Smooth Jazz.



    Funny. If a story was that disappointing, I would've stopped reading years ago. I wouldn't stick around and be That Guy.

    Also, DXMs magically solve a problem. We're not even sure what the problem is, or even if there is a problem. If anything, this is creating a greater problem and risk.
     
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