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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. l---erddad---l

    l---erddad---l Wait, google can see this?

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    Yes, that's called "being brainwashed". It's not reasonable to blame Dragon for following orders when she has to, because that's how she's built as an AI. Those are her rules. "I don't empathize with monsters" is a way to create an other, to separate sentient and sapient beings out from the rest and say that they're less important, that you're willing to hurt more than other beings. If Nilbog had mind-controlled the entire town and given all of them superpowers, and they used those superpowers to create an identical situation to what is going on right now, the exact same problems would be there. The only difference is that the mind control isn't as inherent to their being. If they are fully sentient and sapient, as suggested by Worm and by Zoat's chapter, than it is disgusting and monstrous to deny their personhood. I agree that they need to die because they were brainwashed/raised to love him fanatically, but that's no different than needing to kill members of the League of Shadows so they don't attempt to damage the world if you kill the Ra's Al Ghul. They're still people, and the mindset that involved removing their personhood is disgusting and is the sort of thing that when it exists in large groups in real life, you see people trying to call themselves utilitarians when actually they're just hurting people who they don't like.
     
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  2. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Except Shards are more advanced then Guardian tech in concerns to their multidimensional abilities and Scion has wavelength canceling which would render Power Rings pretty much useless.
     
  3. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    He hasn't most likely faced a power ring user before, so Zoat can just make it so that he can't do that to a power ring.

    It wouldn't go against canon since there isn't exactly anything in canon on power rings.
     
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  4. Vorian

    Vorian I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Tinkertech is literally alien tech.
     
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  5. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    Good point.

    They don't have experience with alien tech that isn't tinkertech.
     
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  6. Vorian

    Vorian I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Tinkertech is just alien non-tinker tech the space worms captured and added copy protection to.

    It's not a meaningful distinction unless LP starts sharing.
     
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  7. Stsword

    Stsword I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    While the Entities do encode alien technology they encounter along the way into shards, I believe some tinkers have regular old shards and a tinker trigger event, so the new tinker just uses what the shard does naturally.

    Like someone with Alexandria's shard might have ended up building a supersuit with the Superman-esque powers, or Taylor might have ended up building a bunch of robot drones or something.

    It was implied that Hero had Eden's wavelength shard, for example.
     
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  8. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    No he can't, power rings are very specifically vulnerable to that sort of thing...
     
  9. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    Seeing as this is Zoats story, he very much can.
     
  10. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Not too sore, are you?

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    Exactly. I've never seen the point of arguments about possible mistakes in fictional reinterpretations of fictional universes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
     
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  11. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    I think one reason people argue about reinterpretations is because they think the reinterpreted stuff is doing a disservice to the source material.

    Thats not exactly happening in this story, but I can see why people would argue about some reinterpretations.
     
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  12. Rieverre

    Rieverre I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Sorry, but literally the best you could do for Ellisburg would be killing Nilbog. Sterilizing the general area optional. He's the kind of guy _Sinestro_ would give a ring to.

    If you need to trade and build good will, a far easier way of winning goodwill with literally everyone on the continent would be to kill the Slaughterhouse Nine. Not to mention the massive bounty payout.

    Or the Endbringers. Being an Out Of Context Problem unrelated to powers, Ziz would literally not see him. Environmental shield means she couldn't mess with the brain, since that's just very fine TK on her end. To make things even more amusing, the amount of fear going around during an Endbringer attack ... I can't help but imagine a _sane_ Yellow Lantern Corps being almost tailor-made for taking down threats like that.

    EDIT: Tho I suppose I get what Zoat is going for here - the problem exists, short of exterminating it, the only solution is to civilize it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2020 at 7:09 AM
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  13. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    He may have already killed them.
     
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  14. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Second.
    That argument is how a certain person ended up on my 'Ignore' list.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2020 at 7:14 AM
  15. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    English writers really are more disgusting then what you'd think at first.
     
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  16. Threadmarks: Warhammered (part 1)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Otherworld

    I have no idea
    Where I am


    Elves.

    Elves. Okay.

    Because… Sure. Why wouldn't there be elves?

    The black and purple combined with pierced heart, skull and thorny vine iconography makes me think 'Warhammer Dark Elf', but really those are generic enough that it's not really proof.

    And I need to keep myself calm and focused on the outcome that I want because the one thing the brief fight I just had taught me is that this ring doesn't like me being afraid. Fear gets me shot with repeating crossbow bolts and I don’t want that again.

    On the deck of the ship just in front of me the crew kneel bound and gagged by glowing orange chains. If this is the Warhammer world, these would be corsairs, and… The cloaks do rather.. suggest…

    Once I've dealt with this, I'll… Go and check.

    I half-turn, taking in the fishing village they were in the process of raiding. A few wooden boats pulled up onto the shore. Wattle and daub houses with thatch roofs. A couple of the houses have visible timber frames, but this clearly isn't wealthy enough or close enough to a good quarry for stone buildings. Not sure why there aren't clay bricks…

    The people here were scarpering as I arrived, the fastest making it to the tree line while the slowest were hit with bolts from the probably-corsairs. The bolts haven't actually pierced them anything like as deeply as I thought they would, and since the aim was to take slaves… Some sort of drugged tip? Since this is my first day as a… A Lantern, I decided not to take a chance on wound repair and leave the bolts where they were after moving the wounded into one of the houses.

    No one has reappeared since I defeated the attackers. Which makes sense; they probably think I'm a daemon.

    But what happens next? This place is clearly too small to have a military presence. It certainly doesn't have a prison. Don't… The Bretonnians have a Knight of the Realm in every village or something? So this probably isn't Bretonnia, but those are definitely pale-skinned humans lying on the shore. So… What? Empire? Border Princes?



    Did they..? Have a coast?

    Oh, it.. doesn't matter.

    Right. The pirates. Mixed sex crew, but with the males outnumbering the females. The man with the fancy armour is probably the captain, and the woman in the leather bikini who threw what I suspect was a doombolt at me is a sorceress. Given that they're a) pirates and b) completely evil, I should… Probably just kill them.



    I'm an ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT! Last time I got in a fight with someone it lasted about ten seconds and we went our separate ways! And I don't even remember the time before that!

    Okay. I need to.. find out what's going on.

    Deep breath.

    I remove the gag from the captain. He doesn't immediately respond, simply staring at me. I drift a little closer and a couple of my prisoners use the opportunity to test their bonds oh no you don't.

    "Are you lost, little daemon?"

    "Yes. Dreadfully." I float into a sitting position. I'm… Going to have to kill them. That's-. I mean, I know the physical act of killing isn't particularly complicated or difficult, but…

    Ring, what sort of person am I looking at?

    The ring shows me-. Augh. His satisfaction at lashing slaves, breaking their will and watching them suffer and die by inches. I turn my head a little and see that the rest aren't much different. The only real difference is that some don't have his patience and want to hurt and kill the thing right in front of them immediately.

    I think I can bear killing these people.

    "So I've got a deal for you."

    His face remains impassive. "State it."

    "I'm afraid that I'm rather against piracy and slavery."

    "That is the advantage of being in a position of power; you may do as you like to those weaker."

    I.. nod. "You're not wrong. Still, I'll give you a choice between three options. The first is: I kill you. I will endeavour to make it as swift and painless as possible. The second is: I hand you over to whoever represents the local judicial system. I imagine that will most likely result in your death in a way that is less swift and painless, but the option is there if you wish to die in accordance with local law. The third option is: I rewrite your personality with the orange light so that you're not… Evil."

    His eyebrows go up very slightly, then his eyes dart for an instant to the sorceress.

    I suppose it makes sense that this would be outside of his wheelhouse. I remove her muzzle.

    "Be warned, sorceress, that if you attempt to use magic upon me I will take that as you choosing option one."

    She looks at me with a sort of hungry fascination. "A daemon of Malal? I did not think that they existed."

    "Yes, nice attempt at a divide by zero there. Malal is Chaos-as-contradiction, not stupid."

    "I can feel nothing of the winds of magic from him, but his power is evident. Make your decision, captain: purity or survival. I've made mine."

    "If it helps…" I look at the rest of the crew. "If one of you who is completely sure that they'll be choosing a clean death would kindly attempt to raise their right arm?"

    There's a moment of hesitation as those who were testing their bonds freeze, then one jerks.

    "Well volunteered." I remove his muzzle. "Please confirm your decision audibly."

    "I would sooner die than be tainted by a human's magic. Or that of a slave to the Chaos Gods." He turns his head as much as his bonds allow to sneer at his fellows. "Show some pride and do not abase yourself before this thing."

    I nod. "Those were good last words." I raise my left hand and want him dead, every part of his body crumbling and burning until nothing's left for being that obscenely vile.

    An orange bolt hits him, and he dissolves into grey dust and blows away.

    "That's as quick and as painless as I can make it. Now, I would like a volunteer to demonstrate the mind control option."

    The captain continues to stare at me. "You will make us empty vessels?"

    "No. I'll… Reach into your minds and… Change how you value things. Your desire to make things suffer will decrease, your desire to dominate will be suppressed… You won't want to be as evil. In their place, you will gain more pro-social desires. In case you were planning on escaping that way, I won't be maintaining the effect. Once it's in place, it's done. Even if I died, it would remain in effect."

    The sorceress smiles.

    "So there would be nothing to stop us carrying on exactly as we are?"

    "You… Won't want to, but in theory, no."

    "Then my choice is simple. Do your best, daemon."

    I lift her up to float just in front of me, reaching into her… Revolting desires. No, remove that positive association with ritual murder. Add in one for… Aiding someone… Never? Okay, just… Create one. And-.

    "Halt, vile daemon!"

    I turn-. Oh. A knight. With a faintly glowing two-handed sword and faintly glowing eyes.

    "Stand and face me!"

    That could be bad.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2020 at 7:17 PM
  17. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Not too sore, are you?

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    I'm guessing this is the same guy who is bargaining with the undead Queen to give her and her people living bodies again, just earlier in the timeline. We'll get to see him make his elf harem, best a Knight, and give said Knight a new worldview after his old one is proven false.

    I don't remember where Mr Zoat posted it, but I'm pretty sure those were the broadstrokes for this version of the SI.
     
  18. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    It looks like another apostrophe is needed after "Warhammer" or around there.
     
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  19. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    Oh sure, now someone shows up.
     
  20. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    It's kind of amazing that he knew how to do all those things that took Paul months to figure out on his first day.
     
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  21. Citizen

    Citizen Experienced.

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    I legit laughed. What timing.
     
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  22. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    maybe add another '

    maybe add a , somewhere in there

    'hits him'

    'find out'

    Pretty much.

    The Fantasy version, just some time before he wanted to fuck a corpse.

    To be fair getting messages in these types of societies, technologically primitive ones, is not exactly all that easy so sometimes people can arrive late.

    Not all Paul's started out with the same personality, case in point paragon and renegade, so maybe this one is a bit more talented with is ring than pre enlightened OL, or maybe the Warp just somehow provides him with an instinctual understanding of his ring and its powers, without corrupting him.

    Now the episodes title could mean we'll be seeing some of the fae or Celtic gods, maybe an episode focusing on Cornwall Boy, like how Zig Zag was for Wally.

    Zoat is this episode going to be a primarily renegade or paragon one?
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2020 at 7:40 AM
  23. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Is...is the Knight trying to save Dark Elves?
     
  24. Massgamer

    Massgamer Know what you're doing yet?

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    Whenever I see these interludes I just want Zoat to make stories focused solely on them! I want to see him using his lantern and logic to totally turn settings on their heads!
     
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  25. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    'options'

    No he's trying to stop what he thinks is a daemon, who he may think is going to try attacking the innocent villagers next after he finishes the Dark Elves.
     
  26. Rafin

    Rafin Getting sticky.

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    Mr Zoat Where did this WHF Paul learn about the ability of Orange rings to rewrite desires? Or see desires on request? And why didn't main story Paul use it earlier in his career?
     
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  27. Fellow

    Fellow Making the rounds.

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    This feels wrong. Oh so very wrong. I mean you gave them a choice at least, a thin semblance of a choice, but a choice nonetheless. And they're dark elves too so, ya know, maximum evil people. Am I being weird? Is the rewriting desire thing wrong if used to make someone "good"? I mean if you try to rehabilitate them the normal way the end result would be the same. You're just expediting the process. Is the fact that I feel uneasy irrational?
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2020 at 7:56 AM
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  28. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    Depends on your system of morality, I suppose.
     
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  29. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Oh, that promises all kinds of shenanigans...

    And this is that Paul in The Old World, of Warhammer Fantasy fame. In a 'how did we get here' scene? Interesting.

    There are a lot of settings with evil elves, never mind iconography like that. The skulls are always a good clue, though. Got to love that 'Tolkien by way of Heavy Metal and Moorcock' style.

    Yeah, it's the Old World. Time to get grimdark. and hopefully not grimderp.

    Probably shitty local terrain. Looks like the sort of home-made terrain someone would build with cardboard and balsa wood.

    Probably a paralytic, yes. No profit in corpses. Unless you need to make examples for the rest when they act up.

    I doubt it's Albion, wrong sort of environment - he'd probably recognise the magical not-England of the old World.

    Those are things for later, once you hit orbit and check out the geography. Maybe have the ring read every book in every city's library.

    Yeah, I don't see a fresh Paul taking that approach.

    Time for some tomfoolery.

    Do they really think they have a chance after he stomped them? Or is it a futile attempt to go out fighting? You decide.

    Especially not with a power ring. One thought and bam, dead Naggarothi.

    I'm impressed, OL wasn't nearly this good. But Orange light is accommodating, if you want something enough.

    While he's thinking he can bide his time, escape and maybe kill you later.

    The driving fact of the Dark Elves' culture under Malekith, alas.

    Okay, Vaermina's got a point here. He's had the ring for what, a day? How long did OL take to work that trick out?

    Telling her not to lie would be like telling a dog not to lick its balls...

    Malal, in brief, for those wondering. Short version: Chaos God of (for want of a better term) Atheism and self-destructive behaviour. Hates the other Gods, wants them to go away. He's not used today mostly because of legal reasons.

    Cue every one of them sitting very, very still.

    Brave fellow. Suicidally so, but brave nonetheless.

    Destruction Pulse ready.

    o_O Still impressed he's thought of doing that. How did he know he could?

    Seriously, is he in, like, a 'New Game Plus' or something? This is at least medium-tier skill. And I doubt one encounter against Dark Elves would give that much XP...

    She has no idea what she's signing up for, does she? She still thinks this is something she can simply dispel later...

    Ah, Dark Elves... Assholes. No coincidence they rule the Old World equivalent to North America.

    The question is, Bretonnian or Sigmarite? Gods only know what the glowing eyes signify.

    A man with a sword... Versus a power ring. Unless he's mainlining a God's power, that's unlikely to be a challenge.

    Another cold open, eh? It's starting to look like the Bond franchise in here. Not complaining, because these glimpses of alternate Pauls are good fun. Still feels odd that he should go straight for the desire-editing, though...

    I would sooner die than be tainted...
    Do your best, daemon.
     
  30. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    I think Warhammer!OL is talking about assimilation, not the branding thing?
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2020 at 8:07 AM
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