With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

[Mr Zoat]

Human are a tool-using species, after all. Although the age-old warning of 'Do Not Fist Android Girls' always applies. Pinch hazards, you know.

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You could. Given the size difference she probably wouldn't feel anything, and given the lack of erogenous zones she'd mostly be confused, but you could.

Around them, Knockout discovers that he can roll his eyes in vehicle form.

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Thank you, corrected.

I think that link should encompass the entire word.

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No, because the link goes to a page about the planet and not its people.

All of these should say 'Knock Out'.

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Thank you, corrected.

Also, there is an extra period in the last quote.

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What did we say about calling them that?

 

[rkyeun]

The only thing I struggle with is that...what would the alternative option be? Sure, the situation as written was and is horrifying, but the only other alternative was the extinction of humanity. Or all but that.

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The alternative is to still do it, but to spend some time being properly horrified by it like a goddamn human being instead of oh well, ends and means and then moving on without every thinking on it again or regretting it.

 

[Sockmonkey]

Damn Knockout is the type of pervert that covers his eyes and peeks through his fingers

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He kind of reminds me of Garak from DS9. Bi-curious about good and evil as well as sexuality.

And yes, folks, Cybertron is big. Not necessarily large - some depictions are smaller than the Moon - but rather, dense. Those plates across the 'surface'? Those are mega-structures the size of continents. Some of those buildings you see would dwarf Olympus Mons. And now you see why it took eons for their war to play out...

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Even most of us sci-fi nerds are used to thinking of planet size in terms of surface area, whereas with Cybertron it's volume. Allowing for levels tall enough for cybetronians, even a 200 km diameter planet would have more usable area than the entire surface of the earth.

Side note: In the Prime universe, transformer internals are somewhat squishy (or at least flexible) complex bits that can heal and maintain themselves, with the outer "paneling" acting as armor and giving them their exterior profile in both modes. The closest natural analogue would be a bird's coat of feathers.

 

[Khettien]

I have to admit, usually this kind of subject matter is intensely boring and awkward for me to to read about, but I was laughing the entire way through this chapter. Thanks for sharing!

...also, I now have to wonder how many times the Decepticon leaders had to purge 'cultural studies' uploaded from the human noosphere by bored Decepticon mooks.

 

[Darko]

And while you may have had the Talk, I don't think the American version covered relationships with giant alien mechanical life-forms.

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Americans are such prudes.

Filth, Knockout? I don't see you asking them to stop. Something of a secret xenophile, are we?

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Among other things.

I don't doubt Jack's had some... Fascinating dreams about 'Sadie'. Which he can be excused for, she's... Arcee did fine work

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Now I'm reminded of an episode of Golden Boy.

Having thoughts of finding a job outside the military, Knockout? I'm sure you'd be popular as a cosmetician.

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He'd make a perfect sassy, non-hetero hair stylist stereotype.

 

[Mr Zoat]

...also, I now have to wonder how many times the Decepticon leaders had to purge 'cultural studies' uploaded from the human noosphere by bored Decepticon mooks.

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I'm not sure that he would. Vehicons aren't all that bright -I think we only see them talk once, and that was to backchat crazy-mode Ratchet- and it probably wouldn't occur to someone like Megatron that it could even be an issue.

He'd make a perfect sassy, non-hetero hair stylist stereotype.

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The problem there is that 1) there isn't an economy and 2) Transformers have been at war for so long that there's no market anyway.

 

[Windona]

"An instructional guide on how to make things work with a giant robot gf" is amazing. And hey, maybe Knockout wi get Ideas.

And hey, Jack wants to date a robot who tends to be painted the color of energon- which uh. With the blood analogy that might be interesting

 

[Istaran]

We're all on QQ doing our best to increase it.

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Really the big thing is that the world has been increasing the denominator so quickly. More porn exists on the internet now than ever before, but even more other stuff does as well. I expect the porn won't stop growing but new flavors of other stuff will keep coming into existence and only so many of them will have reasonable ways to combine with porn.

 

[Radiant Knight]

Knockout reaction was on point. This is the Decepticon that sneaks out of the base to go attend demolition derbies and watch movies at the drive-in. He's always protesting a little too much about getting dirty too.

 

[BrotherofaStudio]

Poor Knock Out, the Autobots must have assigned him to carry Paul and Jack as a form of punishment for being a Decepticon knowing how the conversation was going to go. And while he will probably never admit it, he seems to be a little interested in what they are saying. This alternate universe is great.

 

[Assblaster5000]

Although the age-old warning of 'Do Not Fist Android Girls' always applies. Pinch hazards, you know.

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That sign can't stop me because I can't read.

 

[Doccer]

Best part is I heard Knockout's voice in the Knockout parts.

Haha, poor, bi(o)-curious Knockout XD

"This is revolting!"

"More?"

"Yes, please!"

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This too.

Indeed, his entire life thus far isn't even a single Vorn of her life.

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How long is a corn?

True. Don't want to burn you out on the experience before you're 21. Just ask Daniel Witwicky.

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Did he turn evil or something?

 

[Darko]

...also, I now have to wonder how many times the Decepticon leaders had to purge 'cultural studies' uploaded from the human noosphere by bored Decepticon mooks

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Megatron: Soundwave, have you finished reviewing the cultural databases of this small organic species? We will need to understand them to better deal with any problems they may bring us.

...

When no answer came, Megatron became tense.

Soundwave was one of his most loyal and competent underlings, so if he did not respond to him then there was a small chance that he may have been harmed by infiltrators.

Preparing himself for battle, Megatron slowly surveyed Soundwave's empty quarters.

He was relieved when he noticed Soundwave was simply behind a column and unharmed, but he still seemed distressed.

He was sitting on the floor with both of his hands clutched around his knees and slowly shaking.

Megatron carefully approached him.

Megatron: Soundwave, what has happened? Why are you in this state.

Soundwave slowly looked up to him and his blank face lit up showing various events and activities from Earth.

Megatron: Is this your analysis of human cultural activities? Why would this distress you?

Then the image settled on some recording.

Megatron: It appears to be two women with a cup. Why would this distre-? Wait...what are...? No! What is this?! What are they doing?!

 

[Vaermina]

So here's a question...

Why doesn't he just suggest the two bots upgrade themselves with a cybertronian tech fleshlight?

 

[Ganurath]

Transformers in Prime have surprisingly flexible lips.

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Do they even have tongues, though?

 

[Mr Zoat]

How long is a corn?

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About six inches.

Megatron: Soundwave, have you finished reviewing the cultural databases of this small organic species? We will need to understand them to better deal with any problems they may bring us.

...

When no answer came, Megatron became tense.

Soundwave was one of his most loyal and competent underlings, so if he did not respond to him then there was a small chance that he may have been harmed by infiltrators.

Preparing himself for battle, Megatron slowly surveyed Soundwave's empty quarters.

He was relieved when he noticed Soundwave was simply behind a column and unharmed, but he still seemed distressed.

He was sitting on the floor with both of his hands clutched around his knees and slowly shaking.

Megatron carefully approached him.

Megatron: Soundwave, what has happened? Why are you in this state.

Soundwave slowly looked up to him and his blank face lit up showing various events and activities from Earth.

Megatron: Is this your analysis of human cultural activities? Why would this distress you?

Then the image settled on some recording.

Megatron: It appears to be two women with a cup. Why would this distre-? Wait...what are...? No! What is this?! What are they doing?!

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Amusing, but it probably wouldn't disturb them, as they don't really have a reference point for excrement.

Do they even have tongues, though?

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Given how thick their lips are and considering the length of the average penis, it probably doesn't matter.

 

[Doccer]

About six inches.

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You know that's autocorrect to blame.
How long is a Vorn.

The problem there is that 1) there isn't an economy and 2) Transformers have been at war for so long that there's no market anyway.

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If he builds the salon, they will come.

 

[Mr Zoat]

How long is a Vorn.

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83 years.

 

[Chojin Patriarch]

How long is a vorn?

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As Mr Zoat linked, 83 years (Also as I noted using a mouse-over code trick...) Transformer timekeeping is weird (though surprisingly consistent. Their smaller time unit, the breem, works out to ~500 seconds...)

Did he turn evil or something?

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Not as such, but in the American cartoon's 4th 'season', he became the headmaster for a giant 'female' robot. That's... Gonna have an interesting effect on a growing boy's psyche...

 

[SotF]

Do they even have tongues, though?

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Airachnid, I believe has one in Prime...though that might be part of whatever the hell happened with the vampiric WTF! stuff before she gets yeeted to one of the moons of cybertron...

Of course, you have some oddities if you include Go! in the aligned continuity, but that's basically anything with that series

 

[jasonh23761]

Welp, I see Paul has gone back to being the older brother figure for teens with absent parental figures.

 

[Mr Zoat]

25th October 2013
13:43 GMT -7

"So what did you do before the war?"

Knock Out glances down at the human standing near his feet. Ratchet was overseeing the process of pumping energon into the mechanisms around the 'Last Autobot', and there wasn't anything for him to do. Slipstream was back on the surface since bringing a Seeker down these corridors would be ridiculous and Jack was needed to act as a living authentication system.

"Why do you want to know?" He smiles sarcastically. "Planning on adding me to your transformer harem?"

"Harem?"

"I know you've only got one so far, but I suppose you have to start somewhere. And I am a fine piece of machinery."

"No. You said 'harem'. A transformer would usually say 'team' or 'squad'." Scrap. "Transformers don't have a concept of a harem because-."

"Yeees, we don't reproduce like that. I've been on Earth long enough to learn English. Don't read too much into it."

The human looks up at his f-. He's not considering it, is he? Best… Head that off.

"I was an engineer. I came to Cybertron from Velocitron with a magna-wrench in my hand and a dream in my brain module. I wanted to make my business the number one place for bodywork and performance-enhancing tune-ups in all of Cybertron." The irritation he used to feel about what actually happened is still there, though the vorns have left it somewhat muted. "What actually happened is that I got stuck in Uraya doing fuel system rebuilds for idiots who didn't watch their fuel additive intake. Between rationing and the start of the uprising there wasn't much demand for anything else."

"So how did you end up with the Decepticons?"

"They were the best clients. Sure, they weren't interested in speed, but they were more willing to be… Experimental with their upgrades. I started working in the underground gladiator circuits, fell into medicine for the extra energon, and…Joining the Decepticons just felt like a natural move."

"No great ideological commitment?"

"Heh, you've come to the wrong 'con if you're looking for that. No, it was always a matter of convenience." He waves his right arm. "And then the War dragged on-"

"Yeah."

"-and spare parts became harder to come by, and I got used to cannibalising dead 'bots-"

"Um."

"-for parts. And the fuel efficiency drives! Oh, don't get me started on the fuel efficiency drives. There's more to life than miles-per-gallon!"

"So why are you here?"

"Where else would I go? Ratchet's busy running the show, so they need someone who knows his way around a hyperspanner."

"But what's in it for you?"

"Hm, steady supply of energon… Components… Subj-ah, patients... Eventually, they might even get around to restoring some of Cybertron's road networks."

"Earth has complete road networks. And race tracks. We have energon, and several world governments are gathering and stockpiling it. Earth also has the wrecks of every vehicon who died during your fights with the Autobots-."

"Eeeeeeehhhh. I'll pass. There's only so many times I can stare at a vehicon's internal systems before it all blurs together."

"Vehicons were a product of rationing, weren't they? Megatron needed warriors in the field and workers in the mines, but he didn't have enough energon to suppose a larger population of regular transformers…"

"That was part of it, certainly. Standard parts allows for standard production, which made it easier to keep them in the field."

"Do you think they'd want to be upgraded?"

"I'm not sure they have wants." But that is an interesting idea, isn't it? Replacing bland and boring components with something with a little character. "Out of… Curiosity, where are those vehicon bodies being kept?"

"If you want test cadavers, I'm sure that we can come to terms. Human governments want transformers willing to explain transformer technology to them."

"Is that what Slipstream's been doing?"

"No, she doesn't have the knowledge required. We've just been introducing more mundane technology from other worlds. You'd be in demand. You could probably name your price."

And isn't that an interesting proposition. No more road races for him. No, he could own his own racetrack, a proper course designed to test the participants to their limits. But the only other Decepticon would be Slipstream, and she wouldn't be changing to a ground-based altmode any time soon. Unless he could dig them up from somewhere like Skyquake-. No, that wasn't going to happen.

"And I was thinking that while the war might be over… What exactly is the draw of Cybertron? Energon? Ratchet will share that design, and that's only an issue in the long term."

"Mining energon isn't easy."

"It is when you can pay humans to throw manpower at it. Sure, one human is never going to match a vehicon, but hundreds with the right equipment will match the peak output the Decepticons managed." Hm. Could be true. "But what about inviting other transformers?"

"Like who?"

"Anyone who doesn't want to live on Cybertron. Team Prime are going to be putting this place back together for a very long time. Sure, I can see some transformers being interested in that, but Decepticons… Well, most Decepticons are used to living violent lives, and we've got Unicron's internal systems to pacify. If it's company you want then I doubt you'll have trouble finding takers."

"What's in it for you?"

"I get to have a medic around in case something happens to Slipstream. Don't worry: your sculpted aft is entirely safe from my clutches."

Hm… Worth thinking about. Definitely worth thinking about. But it's probably best to change the topic now before the human talks him into anything.

"What exactly got the Autobots so excited about this..? 'Last Autobot'?"

"The Last Autobot was created as a failsafe in case transformers were ever near extinction and Unicron woke up with no one left to fight him. Among other things, he is supposed to have the ability to raise transformers from the dead."

Knock Out frowns. "How?"

"I don't understand the mechanism. Supposedly, he raises his hands, wrecks self-repair and their spark reinstalls itself. He needs massive amounts of energon, but that's not really a problem any more."

Knock Out watches as Bulkhead hauls away one empty tanker and replace it with a full one. The human is correct. Actually, that might mean that refuelling Metroplex might be possible once they build a big enough production facility. He wasn't exactly fast, but working on a titan, that would be interesting.

Wait.

"And he can resurrect anyone?"

"Any transformer. Actually, he might be able to resurrect any Primus-derived species, Vector Sigma wasn't clear."

"And there aren't any..? Oh I don't know, restrictions..?"

"He pre-dates the War, so he's not going to care whether or not they were a Decepticon. The only.. issue would be if they were contaminated with dark energon. Because the whole-"

No.

"-point is to fight-."

"I-." Knock Out takes a half-step away from the human, uncertain of the stability of his own legs. "I need a moment."

"Knock Out? Are-?"

Horror and disgust war for dominance in his spark. He barely hears the human.

"Not now. Just-. Not now."

 

[Darko]

Why do you want to know?" He smiles sarcastically. "Planning on adding me to your transformer harem?

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You are an attractive specimen.

And I am a fine piece of machinery."

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Yes.

The human look up at his f-. He's not considering it, is he

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"looks up"

You offered.

Hm… Worth thinking about. Definitely worth thinking about

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The harem thing?

possible one they build a big

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"once they"

Horror and disgust war for dominance in his spark. He barely hears the humans.

"Not now. Just-. Not now."

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Okay what is this?

 

[Joelseph14]

Okay what is this?

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I assume Megatron used Dark Energon at some point

 

[cthulhu fartagn]

Okay what is this?

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No is a link.

His bro got turned into a zombie iirc. I don't think it's related to Dark Energon, but I could be wrong.

 

[Joelseph14]

"Why do you want to know?" He smiles sarcastically. "Planning on adding me to your transformer harem?"

"Harem?"

"I know you've only got one so far, but I suppose you have to start somewhere. And I am a fine piece of machinery."

"No. You said 'harem'. A transformer would usually say 'team' or 'squad'." Scrap. "Transformers don't have a concept of a harem because-."

"Yeees, we don't reproduce like that. I've been on Earth long enough to learn English. Don't read too much into it."

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Mate your Human fetish is showing

 

[BR549]

...and by the time "Cylas" was offlined, Breakdown's desecrated corpse was well and truly contaminated with Dark Energon.

Ouch.

---

Edited in second post's content to avoid double-posting:

Okay what is this?

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After "Cylas" (Silas in Breakdown's chassis) was sent to Knock Out's dissection table for experimentation on just what MECH had done to his former partner, they were experimenting with how the hybrid being reacted to Synthetic Energon, which was 'not well' - he burned through it rapidly and the mental effects of Synth-En were increasing with every administation.

Starscream had the bright idea of mixing Dark Energon into the Synth-En, so that Megatron (having an affinity with the substance due to his own use) could perhaps control the increasingly deranged beast.

Knock Out protested, but in the end agreed to go through with the process.

...it was then discovered that the mixture of Dark Energon and Synthetic Energon resulted in a zombie apocalypse, with Cylas as Paitent Zero...


So Knock Out just realised that no, there is no hope for resurrecting Breakdown - and it's his own personal fault.




Also y'know, isn't Airachnid, who wound up as an "energon harpy" as a result of said zombie apocalypse, still on that moon of Cybertron with her horde of now-zombified Insecticons...?

 

[Mr Zoat]

"looks up"
"once they"
He barely hears the humans.

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Thank you, corrected.

 

[BR549]

Also, having missed Chojin's commentary from yesterday, a comment:

I bet those two [Swindle and Trickdiamond] got along like a house on fire. Right down to the burning and explosions and ash...

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They were actually partners in the IDW2019 continuity (the rebooted pre-war series that prematurely ended when IDW lost the license). Note 'were'. The partnership lasted until Swindle started making deals with Autobots as well as Decepticons, and Trickdiamond, observing that playing both sides only works if you can make a profit from both sides, called in the Decepticon authorities on her boss...

 

[Doccer]

Okay what is this?

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Tap the first black colored no. It's linked to a particular page about a particular experiment done by Starscream and Knockout on Breakdown's corpse.

Point is Knockout willingly contaminated his buddy's body with dark energon and so knock out who's just giving hope they might see his best partner again I want to find out that his friend might be well and truly gone forever by his own hands.