6th April
04:23 GMT
I'm standing in what appears to be a communal area on the command sphere of the Cluster ship, people-watching. I've identified several species so far, some wearing the symbol of the ClusterCorp and others not. Not everyone here is employed by the ClusterCorp directly; some are contractors while others actually pay for a berth and make money taking advantages of the opportunities Comic King creates. Some of them are AIs with robotic bodies and others are wearing the same sort of power armour as Comic King himself. Less garishly decorated, though.
A gold-coloured L-series robot floats towards me. The model is highly customisable, but even though the head matches what I saw over my ring that doesn't mean that it's the same individual. If it even has human-equivalent intelligence.
"Greeting, Illustres."
"Hello. I'm sorry, you didn't say your name?"
"I am L-Ron, majordomo to-."
…
"I said majordomo to-."
I frown. "I'm not sure-?"
"Majordomo to-."
There's a thud on the far side of a nearby door.
L-Ron sinks slightly in the air.
"Excuse me."
L-Ron turns away, floating over to the door control panel and extruding a small tool which it proceeds to insert into the door's control system. It chimes, the door opening momentarily to reveal Lord-Lantern Comic King on the far side.
"I, Lord-L-!"
The door closes again.
"Ah."
Why did we give this guy a power ring?
"Should I go out and come in again?"
"No, we can pretend that this didn't happen without you physically leaving." It disconnects from the door control. "This time for sure, m'lord!"
"Understood, my loyal servant, secretary and lackey!"
L-Ron floats in place for a moment.
"I've asked him not to call me that."
"Maybe you should consider unionising."
BLAAARP BLAAARP BLAAARP-
The passers-by dive for cover behind pillars, seating, suddenly appearing rows of chest-high walls or their more solid looking co-workers.
-BLAAARP-!
"Oh dear. You-"
-BLAAAAAAAAAAAARP!
"-shouldn't have said that."
I don my armour and generate construct armour. But… Nothing appears to happen.
"Um."
"Perhaps they need oil-"
Gatling laser turrets on ball mounts deploy from the ceiling, the walls, the floor and a flower bed.
"-or perhaps not."
They fire, and… They're lasers. If I was an unarmoured civilian, this would be quite deadly. As it is, my construct armour is entirely untroubled.
"Not an organised labour friendly environment?"
"To say the-" A stray laser shot hits him and deflects off his highly reflective outer casing. "-least, sir."
I raise my left hand and destroy each turret with precision bolts of orange light.
"Just so we're clear, Lord-Lantern Manga Khan is the one with the ring and not you, right?"
He doesn't breathe, but I hear him sigh.
"That is so, sir." He pauses. "Ahem!"
"Ready!"
"I am L-Ron, majordomo to..."
The door slams open, and a figure in gold armour accessorised with a purple-with-orange-trim cape strides through.
"Lord-Lantern Manga Khan! Which is me!"
And there's an orange power ring on his left middle finger.
"Here to gather resources from this world for the fungible glory of ClusterCorp! Earth's economic and fiscal distinctiveness shall be added to our own! Its financial systems will adapt to service us!"
Why, Dox? Why did you do this?
"Our thirst for profit knows no bounds! The resource requirements of ClusterCorp is my sole consideration! My first upon waking!"
His species doesn't sleep.
"My last upon retiring! And already as the Earth's planetary government reacts to our arrival with confusion, other free economic actors heed the call of profit! As the sole supplier of off-world services, ClusterCorp and licensed affiliates is perfectly placed to take advantage of a favourable trading environment!"
There's a brief pause, and one of the ClusterCorp employees hiding behind a raised bed risks sticking his head up and clapping-.
"Not yet!"
He ducks back down again, arms over his head.
"And light-touch regulatory regime!"
"M'lord, they don't yet have a regulatory regime."
"Then its touch cannot be anything but light! Furthermore, opportunities abound for establishing permanent trade posts and inflating demand further! What we exchange during the initial contact period is but the smallest fraction of what long-term transactioneering might profit us!"
Well… Nice to know that he's thinking long term.
"Even outside of our core competencies, opportunities abound for tech-divergent leverage! Already, multiple requests for freelance peacekeeping support services have been forwarded to our outsourcing-handlers!"
Ooooh… Dear.
Alright, the League can sort of blame me for that one.
"But now I will consult with my valued external operating partner, the Illustres of the Orange Lantern Corps, providing a full briefing on corporate strategy so that on the morrow we may begin synergising with local assets and begin value-extraction in the most expedient manner!"
"I'd be happy to, but-"
"Excellent!"
"-I'm afraid that a full consultation will have to wait. I have plans tomorrow."
"Plans?! What plans could possibly be of more significance than the day upon which I, Lord-Lantern Manga Khan, first arrived at your planet?!"