12th April
04:14 GMT -6
"…not
sufficient?"
Luna snorts, then realises that her forehooves are on the table between us. She blinks, then breathes in and out before sitting back down in her seat.
"Your pardon."
"No, no, you raise an interesting point that.. speaks right to my pseudo-cutie mark."
She smiles in amusement. "We suppose that you are not aware that in Equestrian society, speaking of one's own special talent to one who does not share it marks one as a frightful bore. But… We suppose that you have been so courteous as to listen to Us pontificate 'pon Our minor vexations. Pray, bore Us."
"If I can't make my own specialist subject sound interesting, then burn my mark off with acid and brand me with a bore-mark!"
"That punishment was once practised in Dream Valley. But wouldst your flesh not merely grow back?"
I frown in mock indignation. "What, you think I'm
stupid? Of
course it would! You think I'd volunteer to get
maimed?"
"We suppose not. So then, oh potent pontificator of perfect pony presence and power politics, lecture Us the lessons that Our learn'ed tutors neglected."
"I think it comes down to legitimacy, really. What is it in pony society that says 'this pony is someone I should listen to'?" I incline my head slightly. "Well?"
"Our sister is this land's figure of authority and reverence, having ruled unchallenged this past millennium."
"And what's unique about Celestia? She's physically large and powerful, magically
immensely powerful, old and wise, and -perhaps most importantly- she's been doing the job for so long that no one can imagine anyone else doing it."
"So either We are doomed, or We should wear platform hoofshoes."
"Luna… Let me tell you
the tale of Stanley the Tool. Stanley was a soldier, raised to the rank of Warlord for his good service to his king, and he lived in a land where the word of a nation's monarch was
absolute. A noble might rule a city, but their position was not held in virtue of their lineage but on the whim of their overlord. At any moment they could be recalled to the capital, transferred to another city… Or simply killed with a single spoken sentence. The monarchs of that land held that the Titans who created their world had endowed monarchs with rights and powers over all of those they ruled, and that to question that system was the highest heresy."
"And in this land, there were great tools left behind by the Titans from when they made the world. In a world with many magic artefacts of limited utility and power, these tools not only outstripped them all in power but had such a strange appearance that they were clearly not beholden to the same rules as the rest of the world. And one day, Stanley stumbled upon one of these tools. Moreover, he attuned himself to it, gaining the ability to draw upon its greatest power. Thus began his rise, from Warlord to Chief Warlord, eventually gaining such renown that his monarch anointed him his heir in spite of his lowly origin."
"And then his monarch died, and Stanley became king. And then he committed heresy. Because it seemed to him that if authority -ultimately- came from the approval of the Titans… Then surely the greatest sign of their approval was not the happenstance of one's birth, but whether one was considered worthy by them to bear the very tools with which they created the world."
"Naturally, none of his neighbours -all monarchs, none attuned to one of the Titans' tools- agreed with him, and the result was a rather large war."
Luna nods. "And his arrogance at believing himself uniquely empowered was his undoing, thus proving him wrong?"
"It was more of a bloody draw, but that's not really the
point. Stanley the Tool
undermined the mandate of all of the monarchs he went on to fight. Their pride could not let him stand, so all manner of old enemies rallied together and against
him. So where does legitimacy come from in Equestria?"
"Our Sister, who has ruled for a millennium."
"Does she appoint every political figure in the country? Is university level education available to everyone with the intellectual capacity to benefit from it?"
"No, and.. no. Those with hereditary peerages hold a majority of offices, those with wealth most of the rest. At least, outside of small villages."
"Princess Celestia could drop into any of those places and be obeyed, but in
practice, the ponies there are mostly following others."
"We suppose that is true. We are not certain that we see the similarity to this 'Stanley the Tool'."
"For most of the last thousand years there has been
one alicorn. Now there are five, and Sunset is openly auditioning for the sixth. And then there are the non-alicorn former bearers of the Elements of Harmony, whose great deeds have kept this country… The world, safe from monstrous evils. Of the five of them, none come from armigerous families, but all were judged and found worthy by embodiments of the virtues which -in theory- all Equestrians revere."
"And then we have the hereditary nobility. In feudal states, they might have the loyalty of their tenants. But as you pointed out, all ponies regard Celestia as the highest authority. They are educated and wealthy, but whatever deeds caused their forebears to be ennobled… Each time Equestria has been tested recently, their efforts have been conspicuous by their absence. So if tomorrow the bearerherd went through Sunset's process and Celestia created them duchesses and awarded them lands… Or did so anyway…"
She nods slowly.
"What little natural authority they still possess would be gone."
"One alicorn cannot rule a country of any size. How many ponies would have to ascend before non-alicorns are no longer required in top-level government roles? Individuals of great ability and virtue… And they're
ageless, so this isn't a case of a new noble family being created and their descendants just become part of the ruling class. They can keep doing the job until they don't want to any more and… Well, Celestia's still going after a thousand years."
"You believe that they are reacting against me… Because they fear that their time as this nation's elite is coming to an end."
"Mi Amore Cadenza was a peasant who was elevated by magic. She knew nothing about governance and yet Celestia effectively made her Crown Princess, then gave her a city to run. Was Blueblood in the frame for that?"
"Neigh, he was not."
"Me, I'd have sent someone with experience as a big city mayor. But Celestia sent a guard captain and the other alicorn, and no one questioned it." I shake my head. "Equestria's elite have no reason to ease your path. You're a threat they can't deal with."
She sits back on her haunches, looking thoughtful.
"Then what would you suggest?"
"There are two basic paths. Firstly, ingratiate yourself. Probably marry someone from a notable family. Fit in. Be part of the herd and work through existing power structures. Alternatively-."
"Simply plough through them. We are reasonably confident that We know which option you favour."
"Naturally. You're
mine."
"We are uncertain how we feel about being described as property."
"Luna…" I look away for a moment. "I genuinely can't tell if… You're not interested in me, if I'm coming on too strong… You can tell me. I won't be offended."
"No, that-. We admit to being somewhat out of practice with such matters. You do not appreciate your mares playing 'hard to get'?"
I lean across the table.
"No, it's confusing and annoying. I'm huge and powerful and in personal matters I'm worried that I might simply be intimidating people into going along with what I want. You not
telling me what you want and giving mixed signals -
especially when I'm trying to be as direct and plain as possible- is a recipe of misunderstanding and frustration. I'm happy going fast and I'm happy going slow but I
need to know that you actually want to go."
"Ah. Then We will be plain too. You are courteous and passionate, and have about you a kindness at odds with your occasionally brusque manner. We are most certainly interested, but perhaps in such matters actions are of more import than words."
She leans across the table and kisses me.
