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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    My knowledge of 40K isn't extensive, but I was thinking Eldrad, yes. I get the impression that Exodites would be too insular to want anything to do with him or any xeno race.

    Some Harlequins might also be interested in him since he's a new piece on the board, metaphorically speaking. In practical terms, there might be a Corsair fleet he can create a temporarily mutually beneficial relationship with or something. Yvraine is willing to work with humans against Chaos, though I don't think the timeline works out for her to be involved (though she was also a Corsair for a time, so that could be fun).

    I suppose I'd like a narrative parallel with Paul's Fantasy iteration, though I don't have much interest in seeing the exact same thing as a psychically reconstructed femme fatale love interest.
     
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  2. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yeah, but it's Nu52 Alan, so I don't care.
     
  3. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I had my reasons for wanting to like that version of Alan, and Sam was cute AF, and I liked his ring being his wedding ring....but then they squandered everything. What they didn't squander, the straight up ruined.
     
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  4. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Eldrad would kill Paul.

    Always remember, Eldrad can read the timelines, so he knows Paul is in the process of going insane and being corrupted by Chaos.
     
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  5. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Hiw do you know what the next segments are called ahead of time?
     
  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    On the first page Zoat adds spoiler tags with the number and names of the episodes, and adds links in those tags for the chapters.

    The next episode is on a new spoiler tag, and the first two chapters have been given names.
     
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  7. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Ok thanks. I thought those were just for the done chapters.
     
  8. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    wants to retire

    drops

    I keep hearing people bring this up like some point of pedantry, but... it's not true. While it's true that dissecting something that isn't alive isn't a vivisection, the converse isn't necessarily true. "dis-" "-sect" just means "cut apart," and a vivisection is a dissection performed upon a live specimen.
     
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  9. Threadmarks: Gothamghast (part 1)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Over Reaching

    [​IMG] May 7th 2012, 09:41 GMT -5 [​IMG]

    "Hey, Arte! You skipping school too, huh?"

    The human-. Running… Guy. Flash something. Flash Kid? God, this is annoying-.

    He's looking at me. He's expecting me to answer and I… Probably know him?

    "My school's still closed."

    I walk past him, still looking around. It's like visiting someplace I used to know really well but haven't seen in-. It's exactly like that, because that's what I'm doing. Not that anyone looking at me would know that. Dad taught me how to hide emotion, but the Sheeda taught me how to make it instinctual.

    Is it messed up that I remember exactly what Dad looks like but whenever I look at Mom I keep trying to work out why this strange woman is talking to me?

    "Did you get taller?"

    He's following me. Is that-? I… Kinda remember him… Being.. annoying? But I don't remember if he was trying to start something or just had bad people skills.

    "And buffer? And what's with your hair?"

    "Sheeda hair care products."

    "Ah." He stops walking as I carry on through the cave. Some of this is coming back to- "Are you okay?" -me.

    I stop and.. take a quick glance at him, trying to read his body language. Were we close, before? How much is it useful to share-? No, that's… Sheeda-thinking. He's just being friendly.

    "I'm.. a new normal."

    "Normal… Good-normal?"

    I turn to face him, folding my arms across my chest.

    "We were in the future for a long time. I've changed."

    "Are we talking… Like, a few weeks?" … "Months?"

    "More like decades. Maybe longer." He blinks, his eyes widening. "We didn't have a good way to measure time. But I'm pretty sure I've spent more of my life in the Land of Summer's End than I have in the-." Don't use the Sheeda term. "In now."

    "Oh. Ah… How are you… Y'know, handling being back?"

    "Fine." I turn away. I think the kitchen was that way. "If you give me an hour or two I might even remember your name."

    "Really? Whaw." This w-. "Always figured I was more memorable than that."

    "What do you remember from a hundred years ago?"

    "That's more than eighty years before I was born, so not all that much. But, seriously, are you okay?"

    "Not yet. Grayven says I should try to ease back into my.. old life."

    I wait for the door's bio-.

    I push the definitely-not-alive door open and walk into the kitchen-diner.

    Can't even get the doors.

    No one else is here, but Flash Kid is still following me. Only now he's pulled his mask off his face. I take a close look at his face, and I spot the moment he realises that it isn't helping and I still don't recognise him.

    "Oh."

    I try smiling, but I'm not really in the mood and I don't think it comes across quite right. He's not looking at me, and that's fine b-.

    Because with Sheeda that's a sign of respect. If he were Sheeda, he'd be treating me a little more like his supreme overlady. And that feels normal. But it's not normal because we were probably friends, and with humans looking away… Means you find something awkward?

    I pull open one of the drawers. Egg cups, vegetable peelers and pastry cutters. Did I ever open this drawer when I used to work here? I think I remember cooking, but… I think that was at… 'Home'. It's kinda weird that none of the appliances are alive, but I always found it kinda weird when they were, too. Sure didn't do a lot of cooking in the Land of Summer's End.

    "So, are you..? Staying on the team?"

    Am I? I thought it was the thing to do. The only alternative would have been staying in the future. I mean, this… Was my life. Or-.

    "It's that or conquer the world with Grayven again."

    'cause at least I can remember Grayven's name. But there's no… Big purpose. Back in the future we were trying to fix the planet. I don't think conquering the world now would fix anything. And it's not like I liked being in charge. I just liked it better than any of them being in charge.

    "Ye-ah… Don't do that?" He frowns. "Like, the whole world whole world?"

    "I conquered half of it. He conquered the other half." Ttch. "We didn't realise that the we were in control of both major alliances until we were actually facing each other down in one of my fortresses."

    "Bet… That was awkward?"

    "I was just happy he wasn't dead."

    The fridge I think I remember. Or at least I remember fridges in general. But the noise from the compressor is putting me on edge. Sheeda coolers don't sound like that.

    "Guess you two got pretty close then."

    "Pretty close."

    I wonder if Mom would mind living in Challenger Mountain? Gotham-. It's not my home any more, and being away from Grayven just feels wrong. And I know he feels the same way. I got a room there yesterday-.

    Huh.

    "Do I have a room here?"

    "Yeah, most of us do. I don't really know if you did anything with it. You.. don't remember?"

    How can I even explain this? For him, this was all yesterday.

    "You ever moved house?"

    "Not since I was five, but, yeah?"

    "You remember your old room?"

    He screws up his face, pantomiming straining to remember.

    "Kinda? A little?"

    "Now imagine what you'd remember from ten times as far in the future. Or a hundred times, and you've been moving every year."

    "Probably not much."

    "Right." What now? I wanna do a tour of the place, and 'my' room is probably a good place to start. "Can you show me where it is?"

    "Sure. This way."

    He heads back out the door, and for a moment I frown at the door on the other side of the diner. I think there's a pool through there? Why would we have a pool? I shake my head and turn around to follow Flash Kid-.

    "It's Wally."

    "What is?"

    "My name. It's Wally. Or Kid Flash, when we're on a mission."

    I nod. Doesn't ring any bells, but at least I know who I'm talking to now.

    "And… Ah… Have you..? Spoken to Tao yet?"



    Oh. That's why people look away from things.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2020
  10. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    This is really sad and I want more
     
  11. OrigamiPhoenix

    OrigamiPhoenix Getting sticky.

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    Ooh, is the whole episode going to be from Artemis' perspective?
     
  12. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Just the first two parts, with maybe one last near the end.
     
  13. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I think it's far too late to share my thoughts now, but I do feel my suspension of disbelief straining the more I actually think about this whole Renegade-Artemis situation, even though I do find it quite compelling as a storyline. Given New God's essentially infinite lifespan, I'd imagine they have some kind of better long-term memory than regular people; no other long-lived or immortal people throughout the story seem to have similar issues, in any case.
    Did Artemis not try keeping a journal or memoir when she first realized she was forgetting things about Earth and her past life? I imagine the Vampire Sun does make that trickier, so was she just worried about the potential vulnerabilities/leaks of using whatever the Sheeda use for making records?
    This update does solidify my opinion that she should break it off with Tao (I believe in a previous update she said she was trying to make things work). The gap in life experience and age is just too great for me to be comfortable with, at least for another decade or so on his part.
     
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  14. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'kind of'

    Seriously hopes she gets some therapy after this, she really needs it.
     
  15. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

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    I hate this. I have my interested in a hundred different directions and I can't pick just one.
     
  16. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    Woah, that was well written, got me in the feels. And perfectly reasonable way to feel in the circumstances.

    kinds -> kinda
     
  17. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Artemis and renegade are not ordinary New Gods.

    Artemis was an ordinary human before being transformed into a New God, and renegade was a soulless human before getting a New God soul.

    Even if regular New Gods have a great memory, they may not have gotten that.

    Also most other immortals probably weren't separated from the people they knew for decades, centuries or even millenia, and the ones that were, like Calliope, well we haven't seen all that much of them so we don't know how they reacted once they got back.

    Other immortals can also regularly interact with people they know, so they don't lose their memories of them.
     
  18. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Surprised she doesn't just ask one of the G-gnomes to fix her up.
     
  19. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    I knew it!
     
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  20. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Angry, frustrated Artemis was not something I thought I needed but now I do.



    She is an uplifted New God, not a born one.

    Most likely. She coukdn't trust anyone but Grayven after all.

    Agreed. One being a young adukt and one probably centuries older is icky.
     
  21. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    At least Grayven has a ring to backup his memory. He should get one for Arte.
     
  22. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  23. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    The circumstances have a lot to do with that. Not long after suddenly being cut off from every part of her whole life aside from Grayven, she was cut off from him too. Nothing familiar and no way to mark the passing of days. The discontinuity is why she's forgotten.
    Basically the Artemis they knew is long dead.
     
  24. Sorrow

    Sorrow Getting sticky.

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    yeah, because having someone rooting around in your HEAD is something you really want.
     
  25. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Artemis started as a human and became more and more New God with time. Remember that she lacks a MotherBox and or Fatherbox to help her remember things.

    Her memory is probably better nowadays but most of her memories from life on Earth are of her life as human so... they probably are not as strong as memories formed as a New God.
     
  26. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Heh, nice way to differentiate R!Artemis' scenes from Grayven's without picking another colour. And this... Is probably going to be awkward, sad and a little funny all in one...

    Yeah, still having trouble dredging memories out of the time-abyss that her mind has become, eh?

    I know that feeling. It's the sort of feeling you get when you visit somewhere you haven't been in a long time, but you remember it well enough to get around, but not well enough to recall specifics... It's one of those things no-one has ever bothered to name, because It likely happens so rarely...

    Given she was what, fifteen, sixteen, when they last met... Yes, I expect she has, a little bit. He's probably feeling a bit creeped out right now, looking at this person he feels he should know, yet there's something about her that's just... o_O Off.

    True, Wally was a bit annoying... Selectively sceptical, habitually wisecracking, hyperactive... Honestly, Wally seems like that friend, the one who's a pain to know, but is kind of fun when you get used to them...

    And he can tell there's something wrong with her, can't he? Not just with his human senses, but with his God-senses, because he is an ascended New God himself. And that is giving an error of its own. I wonder what the League have put in the files about her, what her reports on the future trip were like...

    ;) ...That's one way to describe it, yes. The problem is, does she want it to stay that way? Can she bring herself to go back to what she once was?

    She hasn't decided yet, after all. And havign him poking that raw wound is probably annoying and painful.

    Remember, he's a teenager, and a speedster. Even days are a long time for him. The idea of months away from home, from his family? That must be unimaginable.

    Not well, I believe. We know she feels off about everything... We know she'll end up visiting Grayven more often. What we don't know is the path she took to get there.

    <facepalm> Real subtle, Wally, real subtle. Never has your nickname been more appropriate.

    But at least he seems to be sincere. This is probably an odd experience for him, talking to a teenage girl (or someone who still resembles one) without any kind of romantic undertone, just two friends making sure they're okay.

    Still stuck in future-tech mode, eh?

    Wonder how many she's walked into, expecting them to open before her?



    Lots of social things to relearn, I see. Bet she's going to come across as somewhere on the Autistic spectrum to those not in the know, I bet. Hopefully it won't cause her any trouble down the line...

    That is the thousand-dollar question, isn't it? Can she feel comfortable on a team she doesn't remember, who feel like children to her. Can she operate by the Team's rules of engagement again, restrict herself to non-lethal techniques after centuries of killing?

    And the painful thing is, she's not really joking, either. I foresee her ending up joining Grayven's group full-time eventually, simply because it feels more... Comfortable.

    Yes, the whole world, Wally. You think if the Sheeda weren't unified they could manage to do anything significant?

    Don't mention the Kiss... Don't mention the Kiss... You will never live it down if the Team finds out...

    I expect it was more like a soft sort of circular breathing? Or just the soft hiss of cooling magic?

    Not in the way you're thinking, Wally. Grayven would never have played that card. After all, Artemis was a junior to him. Not a subject to be exploited, but a resource to be developed.

    So she hasn't been to see the ponies just yet?

    Oh, boy...This is going to be.. :( depressing.

    A fair question. What do his parents do again? Would they have moved for work?

    To be fair, how many of us still remember much about our childhood bedrooms? I can't even remember the layouts of some of the rooms I've had over the years.

    Even less likely from the age of five. I mean, that may only be ten years ago for him, but...Again, what sort of memories do you have from then? That you don't remember thanks to photographs?

    I'd be impressed if she ever put any effort into her quarters at any point during her campaign. At least, beyond ensuring her weapons were in easy reach from any point in the room.

    Heh, don't think we missed that strikethrough there, Artemis. There's still a part of her operating in tactical mode, in the 'ready for combat at a moment's notice' state she would have settled into over the years.

    How many names has she heard over the years? How many repeated themselves with different faces? By the end, we saw Grayven didn't really think of most Sheeda as anything other than their job anyway. Did she do the same, I wonder?

    She does remember the concept of secret identities, doesn't she? :V Imagine if on a mission, she forgot everyone's names and code-names, and just started calling them by some distinction about them: Speedy Guy; Sneaky Bird-Guy; Angry Muscles; Red Gooey One...

    <sucks in breath through teeth> :oops: Ah... The mountain-sized elephant in the room... Her boyfriend... That as far as we've seen, she hasn't even though about once. At all. The whole time.

    :D Well, at least she's remembering something...

    I was right... It was Awkward... It was Sad... It was, if you don't mind black humour, a little funny... The scary thing is how much this lines up with some real-world soldiers' experiences returning home after long deployments. No matter the era, there's always that period of discomfort. That strangeness of your old, soft bed. Of not having to keep an ear out for nearby fighting. Of the trouble relating to those who haven't been there beside you, and the comfort of being around those who were... :( And now I'm feeling depressed, despite never having felt that myself...

    You outdid yourself with this plot thread, Mr Zoat...
     
  27. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    It is.

    Compress and obfuscate the bad and almost useless in the real world Sheeda memories while bringing forward and reinforcing the more important and useful Earth memories.

    Bam, problem solved with the bonus of no more murderhobo trauma.
     
  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Did she kiss him on the lips, or the cheek?

    If ti was the latter then it wouldn't be so awkward.

    Nope, this is et in may and she went to Equestria in June.

    Kon is actually much better now and isn't angry.

    I think she mentioned him before she and renegade went back, and she and he are still dating a month later it seems.

    Really hope she gets therapy like those soldiers do.
     
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  29. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    Not everybody wants to edit their memories to optimize their life. I would, but maybe not Artemis.
     
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  30. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    Scott and Barda's romance blossomed after an almost 200 years absence, actually.

    Darkseid let Scott escape in 1802 (negating the treaty between New Genesis and Apokalips, as Darkseid planned from the beginning), Scott and Barda weren't reunited until Scott took on the Mister Miracle moniker from his circus mentor Thaddeus Brown aka Mister Miracle 1, this reunion published in 1971, so a 169 year absence plus whatever sliding timescale one applies.

    Whether that backstory holds true in Zoat's WTR, I have no idea.
     
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