How I Saved History (Fate/Grand Order SI)

You know, when I accepted the somewhat vague job offer from this Chaldea place, I wasn't exactly expecting it to be in Antarctica. Or to be run by wizards. I mean, sure they call themselves "mages" but they're basically wizards. Still, what kept me on after the whole "magic is real, and most of its practitioners will cheerfully vivisect you if they think it'll help them even slightly" thing was the brief, tantalizing mention of Servants.

I mean, what fan of mythology and heroes in general could pass up the chance to meet their heroes? I honestly can't wait!

And so, here I was, sitting through the security clearing process. Also, apparently I'm Lawful Neutral. Good to know.



So, after a brief simulator session to acclimate me to the proper role of the master, which is apparently just sitting back and being useless while occasionally tossing out micromanagerial commands, I was sent on my merry way to find the conference room.

The halls were white and stark. Fairly futuristic aesthetic. Also, there were no room labels. Or directions. And so, my heart filled with a sort of resigned irritation, I resolved to familiarize myself with my new environment by getting thoroughly lost in it.

About thirty minutes in, I was still thoroughly lost, and had no idea where the conference room was. And so, with a heavy heart and wounded pride, I resigned myself to asking for directions from the next person I met.

Oh, right, there were people there, too, I guess. I mostly ignored them and pretended I knew where I was going.

So, first person I meet. Right, there's a likely subject! She seems nice and why is her hair purple? Or... lilac, I guess. She probably dyes it, but it's not exactly a go-to hair color for people to dye to. Usually people that dye their hair pick more vivid colors. Maybe she really likes the color?

"Fou!"

My musings upon the hair color of the cute girl that I have been staring intently at for a probably-creepy amount of time are interrupted by a fluffy white... mammal? that is staring at me.

"Fou likes you, senpai!" Lilac Girl informs me in a sickeningly cheerful manner.

"I started today, actually," I blurt out automatically. Curse you mouth, why must you always fail me?

"What?"

"I started today. So, the term Senpai doesn't apply to me. You probably have seniority. Also, are you Japanese? Because "senpai" is a Japanese term, and, no offense, but you really don't look it." Wait, dyed hair, looks Caucasian, and tosses in gratuitous japanese for no reason? Goddamnit, she's a weeb. Can wizards be weebs? Heh. 'Weebzards.' Wait, no, think of Mom, don't be rude, remember your manners, introduce yourself. "I'm Charlie, by the way."

"I'm Mash! Mash Kyrielight. And yes, you're my Senpai. Everyone is my Senpai." She smiles as she says this. I'm leaft with the overwhelming urge to pat her on the head. Also, 'Everyone is my Senpai?' Well that's fucking ominous.

"So, I was told to go to the conference room, but I don't actually know where that is," right, follow with sheepish grin, and hand behind my head, try to make the blatant incompetence endearing. It's never worked before, but hope springs eternal. "Could you maybe give me directions?"

"Oh, no, actually, the Director sent me to find you to tell you not to bother coming."

"Pardon?"

"The meeting started fifteen minutes ago. The Director told me to also tell you that once their deployment's done, you're fired." She gives me an apologetic look.

Well, shit. Right, handle it with dignity. Dignity. Dignity! Walk it off, act like it's nothing, and for the love of God, don't cry!

"Well, that's... disheartening." Don'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcry. "But, really, I'm sorry to have made you go through so much trouble. I'm sure you must have missed quite a bit of the meeting tracking me down."

"Oh, no, the meeting room is just around the corner." She blanches. "Oh, no, I'm sorry..."

"It's... fine." Don'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcry. "Did my stuff get shipped in?"

"I don't know, but, if it was, it'll be in your room."

She gave me directions to the room that I would now be spending a few hours in, at most, and I went resolutely on my way. They really needed to turn the heat down in this place. My eyes were sweating.

 

After resolutely following Mash's directions to my room (not that it'd be mine much longer,) I stalwartly and bravely opened the door, pausing only to wipe away my eye-sweat (not tears goddammit, because I wasn't crying.)

My stuff was inside, laid out in boxes. I could probably have set the whole room up how I liked, might have had fun unpacking my things and setting up, if...

I promptly settled down in a fetal position and started bawling. It was stupid, it was pathetic, but goddammit, I really wanted this job to work out. And now I was fired. Just like that.

"Um… are you okay?" an unfamiliar voice asked. Oh God, did I just break into somebody else's room for my little crying fit?

"S-Sorry," c'mon Charlie, compose your face, dry your tears, wipe away the snot. Time to deal with people again, regardless of how little you want to. You can do this. "I was told that this was my room. Sorry to inconvenience you if I was misinformed."

"Your room, huh? Guess I'll need to find a new place to slack off, then." The man in what is now confirmed to be my room is fairly tall, with pinkish hair (does everyone dye it around here?) and a kind face.

"No need to bother. The Director just fired me without ever even meeting me," I sighed. "It'll be up for grabs by tomorrow."

"Oh. Why'd she fire you?"

"I missed her briefing. I arrived fifteen minutes before, and I don't know my way around the place, so...."

"Well, I'll put in a good word for you. Olga-Marie is harsh, but she's usually also fair."

I blinked up at him. "Thank you..."

"Doctor Archaman. But my friends call me Roman. And you are?"

"Charles Flynn. But my friends call me Charlie."

"Well, glad to meet you. Why don't we head on-"

The newly identified Dr. Roman was interrupted by the distant sound of something blowing up.

"I know I'm new here, but that sounds like a problem."

"Yes. Yes it does."

"Should we-"

"Yeah."

And we were off.

 

Dear Family,

On my first day on the job at Chaldea, I got fired half an hour after I showed up, and ran into a burning room.

Seriously, why did I just do that? I could have gotten to safety, like Roman told me to. But no, I just had to play the hero. I mean, it was a pretty big explosion, and now the entire room is on fire. And I do mean the entire room. And its on-fireness is, by all standards of comparison, first rate. This isn't some piddling little campfire, no, this is a real rager. Great gouts and sheets of flame burst up and dance about, charring the white walls, and I feel my sweat begin to sizzle against my skin. My eyes are closed into slits, and I'm half-crawling as I go through the chamber. Fire suppression systems are starting to kick in, but there is no way anybody survived this. What the Hell am I doing? There's no survivors to save! I should just head back past the barricades and-

"Senpai?"

God dammit, Mash.

Right, not leaving her to die. Let's assess the situation. How do I save her?

Well, she's buried under a frankly ridiculous amount of rubble. She's bleeding from a cut over one eye, and- My gut sinks. There's no way I can save her.

"Senpai, go, you need to get out of-"

"Containment Doors Closing," a pleasant voice announces. She sounds a bit like the computer on Star Trek. All in all, the most soothing announcement of my impending demise I could ever ask for.

I sit down.

"Senpai, you should go, try to find a way out," Mash tells me. It's sweet of her to think there's any way for this to not end with the both of us dying here. I grab her hand, because quite frankly, I could really use a hug right now, and it's the closest thing I can manage.

This is how I die. To be honest, it's even more anticlimactic than I expected. And now I'm looking back over how I said goodbye before my departure. I think my dogs will miss me. My family too. Mom was pretty out of sorts about the whole flying-out-to-Antarctica thing when I left. And now it's off to the great beyond for me.

"Initializing Rayshift." The Star Trek computer voice lady says. She might have been saying something before it, I was a little out of it at the time.

The huge orb at the room's center starts to spin, there's a blue glow, and-

I'm in a city.

I'm in a city, and my hand is empty.

The city's on fire too, and it feels... wrong. Malevolent, seeped in hatred and rage and sin. In the distance I see cloaked, shambling figures lurch along, headed towards me.

I start laughing.

"Y'know, I always did think I'd wind up in Hell."

Well, eternal suffering waits for no man. Let's get on with it.

 

Y'know, there was nowhere near as much screaming as I thought there'd be.

I mean, it's kind of a fixture of the place, whenever you try and picture it. Hell. The place where thousands of sinners burn for their crimes, beyond the mercy of God. Of course there'd be screams. And yet, no screams. There was supposed to be an eternal cacophony of soul-shattering misery. Where's the eternal cacophony of soul-shattering misery?

The cloaked figures are approaching me. That's fine. Eternal torment has to start somewhere. I decide to look at the architecture for a bit.

The buildings are half-melted, crumbling ruins, each warped and twisted as if they're screaming out in agony. The same fire, sickly and streaked through with a sort of empty darkness, burns on all of them. The ground is equally dark and barren, cracked and pitted and occasionally splitting fully open to reveal an empty black tar that hurts my eyes to look at for too long.

The shambling, cloaked figures are accelerating towards me, bounding forwards without abandon. The robes flutter in the wind, revealing glimpses of weathered skulls and blackened bones. I keep still, and brace myself. No idea how to do magecraft, and no real physical skills to speak of. So, my only real option is to face the end (or perhaps, the beginning) with dignity.

And then a blur of purple smashes into the cloaked skeletons, and my prospects start looking up.

"Senpai! Are you hurt?" Mash calls out. Personally, I'm flummoxed. If I was to compile my personal list of 'People I know that are likely to go to Hell,' Mash wouldn't even rate an honorable mention. Then again, I've only known her for less than a day. Maybe she secretly ate babies or something, or maybe God just hated weebs.

"Do you eat babies?"

"What?" She looks completely shocked and flummoxed.

"Just trying to figure out why you ended up in Hell with me," I answer, still trying to puzzle out how my self-declared kouhai, whose only demonstrated qualities thus far have been being a dutiful, self-sacrificing, and compassionate person, rated eternal damnation. Then another thought struck me. "Also, corollary note, how'd you end up with superpowers?"

"Senpai, this isn't... Hell," she pauses, as she examines her surroundings again, her face falling as she does so. "I think. Also, I fused with the Heroic Spirit they had summoned to go with the away team. I think so ,anyway. I don't know his name, but he saved my life."

"Wait, they had a Servant summoned? And I missed it?" The latter question is really more of an indignant squawk.

"Well, I'm sort of a Servant now, so-"

I interrupt her by taking her hands and staring into her eyes with pure fanboyish glee. "Mash, you are now officially the coolest person I know."

"Um… you like Servants, Senpai?"

"The whole reason I signed up with Chaldea was the Servants! Or actually, they only told me about that once I was on the plane and they were giving me the whole 'magic is real, your job includes a lot of it, and you can do a little of it, but not much because you're just a worthless peasant' speech, so, really, it's more that the Servants are the reason I didn't try to pull a runner or take a swing at the recruiter for being a condescending jackass." I pause for breath, grinning like a loon. Mash seems slightly lost.

"So..."

"We are officially not in Hell, because this is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me, and I somehow doubt that making me this happy is really in line with the whole 'eternal torment' thing." I pause to think. "Right, what's a Rayshift?"

"Oh, that's how the away teams were supposed to deploy into the Singularities." Mash smiles. I return her open expression of happiness and support with a significantly more pained version.

"Mash, I kind of missed the briefing. Going to need a bit more explanation than that."

"Oh, well, the Director started by telling us that rank and distinction don't matter, and that Chaldea's job was to protect all of humanity, from any and all threats. Then she told us about Chaldeas, which was how they could forecast and scan human history." I blink. They can scan human history? How accurately? Could it be used to resolve centuries-long historical debates? Finally discard all the unreliable narrators and see what really happened? My God, the potential! "And she said that they couldn't find any trace of humanity in a hundred years." And that's a downer. "So, they were going to solve it by summoning Servants and then sending away teams back in history to resolve the Singularities, areas where human history was deviating from what it was supposed to look like, and hopefully save humanity!"

I... Holy shit. I got a job as a time cop, travelling throughout human history with a legendary hero at my side, to save humanity from inevitable destruction. And I managed to fuck it up and get myself fired in the first thirty minutes. Fuck my life. Right then. Time to change the subject to something that won't depress me to no end.

"So, what class of Servant are you?" I actually only found out about how the whole Servant system works because the minute the recruiter mentioned that I would be working with legendary heroes, I immediately begging, pleading and wheedling with him to tell me everything he knew about how they worked. He told me, but only because I promised to stop calling him a wizard and making Harry Potter references if he did. Joke's on him, though. I'm still making them in my head.

"I think I'm a Shielder," she answers, holding up her massive, cross-shaped shield. I payed a bit more attention to it, then. I had been trying to avoid looking anywhere other than her face, because it looked like she was wearing a skin-tight bodysuit and it would be creepy to stare, but I should probably give it a look and try to identify the spirit she had bonded with.

She was wearing what I can only describe as an impractical fusion of armor and purple spandex. This atrocity against proper protective equipment design left me shuddering and quietly praying that the other Servants would be more sensibly dressed. Ah, well, time to stop staring before it gets creepy.

"So, assuming that we're in a Singularity, where do we go from here?" I ask. The catch-up session's been fun and all, but we definitely need to start moving. Even now I can see more skeletons in the distance.

"Oh, I'm not sure-" She stopped as we both heard a distant, high-pitched scream.

"That way work for you?"

She nods resolutely, and then takes off at a run, leaving me to run after her as fast as my puny human legs can take me.

 

Note to self: My puny human legs cannot take me places all that fast, and my puny human lungs cannot support them for very long, especially when everything is on fire. As corollary, inform Mash of this fact so that she doesn't leave me stranded in her wake again, as I have to dodge all the goddamn skeletons she aggroed. I narrowly avoid yet another swipe that goes wide as I finally, at long last, catch up to her.

And then, with speed, skill, and power that I can only dream of, Mash is there, smashing the skeletons away with her shield.

"Sorry, Senpai, I forgot that I'm faster now."

I'm to busy wheezing to properly reply. The skeletons have all been reduced to bones shards and powder now, and all I can do is marvel at the fact that it only took Mash about thirty seconds to end every one of them. Is this the difference between a human and a Servant?

"Good news, Senpai, I found the Director!" she informs me, cheerful as can be. "It's possible that the other Masters survived!"

"Oh, great." In all honesty, though, I had kind of been hoping that they hadn't made it. It's selfish of me, but, I really want to keep this job.

"Mash!" a woman's voice calls out, sounding about as winded as I feel right now. "Don't just run ahead and leave me behind! It's dangerous out here and- Wait, who are you?"

And so, for the first time, I see Chaldea's director. She's young. Far younger than I'd expected. White hair, an orange and black uniform, and college-age at best. She's also sweating like a pig, and hunched over wheezing like her lungs are trying to kill her.

"Charles Flynn, Master candidate, we haven't actually met before."

"How? All the candidates were..." she frowns. "You're that imbecile who didn't even bother showing up for orientation, aren't you!"

"Indeed, although it was less, 'didn't even bother' and more, 'got horribly lost because your base is a goddamn labyrinth,'" I shot back, feeling irritable beyond all measure. "Also, am I still fired? Because, what with most of the other Master candidates being blown up and set on fire by that explosion, I'm starting to think that my services just became a lot more valuable."

She pauses, and then says, in tones as cold as ice, "That depends on your performance in this Singularity, and how many other candidates have survived."

"I'll take it. So, as my immediate superior, and the person most well-versed in how these Singularities work, what are your orders, Director?" And I just realized that I don't know her last name. That's fine. I can just call her 'Director' until somebody else says her last name.

"We head to the leyline and try to establish a beachhead from which we can contact Chaldea," she answers, seeming to have grudgingly accepted me since I acknowledged her authority. "This was originally supposed to be carried out by the A-team, but I suppose you'll have to do."

Truly, I have never felt more flattered.

Our destination set, we move out, our feet crunching on the ever-present layer of ash that coats the charred and pitted ground. Few words are exchanged, and Mash's shield is rarely still as she crushes those skeletons that stand in our way.

Finally, we reach the leyline, and the Director draws the spell formula on the ground about Mash's shield to contact Chaldea, while I keep watch for threats.

It's eerily still without the skeletons, like a forest in the wake of a stalking tiger. Not a single beast moves or dares make a sound, 'lest they draw the silent cat's eye. The question, though, remained: Were we the tiger? Or the prey?

Still, after a bit, the magical formula did its thing, and Roman appeared above the shield, albeit glowing, transparent, and blue.

"Director Animusphere!" Hah! Got her name! "Charlie, Mash! I'm glad to see you all safe and well. Although, Mash? What are you wearing young lady? I did not raise you to go out-"

"Wardrobe was involuntary, she's a..." Semi-Servant? Part-Servant? Demi-Servant. Sounds better, and it invokes the mythic concept of demigods. "...Demi-Servant now. Quite honestly the only reason any of us are still alive."

"Demi-Servant, huh? Well, good on her." Okay, he is suspiciously accepting of this.

"In any case, what's the status of Chaldea?" Director Animusphere butts in, shooting a glare at me for interrupting her. "How many of the other Masters can be fielded? How many casualties? Are we still operational?"

"In order, none, enough that we can't spare anyone to count, and barely," Roman answers, his face far grimmer than I'd seen it before. Besides me, I can see the Director's face fall. "All the Master candidates are critically injured in their Rayshift coffins, and we don't have enough staff to properly treat them."

"Activate the suspended animation feature. Put them on ice until we can properly treat them," Director Animusphere interrupts, her tone brooking no objections. " We may not be able to easily unfreeze them, but the prospect of saving a few of them isn't worth letting most of them die."

"Understood, Director. I expected no less from you," Roman answers with a smile. "In answer to your other questions, there's barely more than twenty of us left. We're working on repairs, but at the moment, we can't Rayshift you out of there. We can, however, use up the power stored in the summoning system to allow you to attempt a few summonings inside the Singularity."

The Director pauses. "Do it. Numbers can only work in our favor." She turns to me. "This is entirely your area of concern."

As Roman walks me through the process (and warns me that most of what I summoned would useless junk or Noble Phantasms without their owners) I do my level best to conceal my eagerness. I'm going to summon a Servant! An actual, honest-to-god legendary figure to fight at my side! I can barely contain myself!

And now it's time.

I run through the summoning. First few tries are unsuccessful, but then...

The light glows gold. A figure emerges from the glow. This is it! Is it Hercules? Theseus? Achilles? Jason? Oh, maybe it's from Norse myth, like Sugrd, or Sigmund, or Sinfjotli! Or maybe-

The light fades, and- What the fuck?

"Hiya master! I'm Servant Berserker, the wild fox of the Tamamo Nine, Tamamo Cat! Pleased to meetcha!"

Pink-haired, revealingly dressed foxgirl. Who I have never heard of in my life.

I'm beginning to have an extremely bad feeling about this.

 

Fortunately, the second Servant produced by my summons is less... anti-climactic. An androgynous figure, cloaked all in black with only a bone-white mask peering out from beneath its dark hood.

"Servant Assassin. Hassan-I-Sabbah of the Thousand Faces. We hope to work well with you."

Hassan-I-Sabbah. Assassin. Something about that sounds familiar... Oh my god.

"The Old Man of the Mountain? Leader of the Hashashim?"

The legendary hired killer nods, and I start to grin.

"We were not in command of our order during the Crusades, but nonetheless, we believe we may be of use to you."

"How so? As an Assassin, your class is best suited to intel and reconnaissance. How skilled are you in that field?" Just realized that I don't know how to look at their stats. Going to have to ask Olga or Roman how one does that.

In the blink of an eye, there stand two masked figures where before there was one. "Our Zabaniya the technique which elevated us to our position, gives us a hundred identities, each with a hundred different skills. As Servants, it allows our identities to assume separate bodies."

Okay, yes. I can work with this.

"Spread out and perform reconnaissance. Range of... let's say one mile. Leave one body here to relay back information, and relay back descriptions of possible threats, and their locations."

A silent nod, and a variety of bodies split off, disappearing into the night, leaving behind one body, which likewise fades from sight. And now I'm going to spend most of my life looking over my shoulder to watch for assassins. Great.

"Alright. Berserker. I don't know your legend. Could you tell me about it?"

I only realize my mistake when Tamamo Cat launches into a long and disjointed explanation of her origin, which I honestly can't make heads or tails of. The main problem is the metaphors, but her frequent digressions and tendency to forget which part of the story she's on don't help either.

Finally, after ten minutes of her absurdly high-speed babbling, I cut her off as she was talking about... Almonds? I think? "Thank you, Berserker, you've been very helpful." I turn to Olga Marie, who looks about as irritated and disappointed as I feel. "Director Animusphere? A word in private?"

We head off from the group, keeping an eye out for enemies, before she turns to me. "Flynn-"

"I know. In a situation like this one, an unstable berserker is the last thing we need. But, all the same, we need muscle. While Hassan-I-Sabbah is, quite frankly, an excellent stroke of luck, I don't think they have the stats to bring down the bigger Servants. Which brings me to my next point. I need you to teach me how to view their stats."

"You-can't even do the most basic spell every Master has to cast?"

"I'm an uninitiated novice at Magecraft. I only got in due to high compatibility with the FATE system and a solid knowledge of history and mythology."

"Fine. I suppose you are slightly better than the alternative."

"Good. Hopefully, once I've got that down, I'll be able to view her stats, and determine if her strength outweighs the risk of keeping her around."

"And if the risk outweighs the reward?" she looks skeptical. "What on Earth do you think you can do to stop a Servant?"

I look at the back of my hand, and the Command Seals inscribed thereon. "If she's too unstable, I use a Command Seal to make her kill herself."

The Director looks disquieted at that. "I know that our survival is important to Chaldea, but that-"

"I will do whatever is necessary. But, bear in mind, this is only a last resort. It hopefully won't come to that." I smile. "Now then, let's see if I'm a quick learner."

 

My magecraft lesson, incomplete and rushed as it was, worked.

"Her Mad Enhancement is fairly low. She's stable enough to be worked with." I inform the Director. Fortunately, she only had to teach me how to tap into an aspect of the FATE system, not an entire spell. We hadn't been attacked by skeletons, but that was only because Assassin had been maintaining a perimeter defense. The whole thing taken about an hour, and both Tamamo and Mash were getting antsy.

"Good. This delay was costly." Olga-Marie grumbles, looking at me irritably. "If it wasn't for your ineptitude and paranoia we could have already reached our next destination."

"Indeed. Sorry to delay us. So, where are we going?" I smile.

I had stumbled upon the ideal strategy for dealing with my irascible new superior. As my great-grandfather and namesake would say, I was killing her with kindness. Whenever she insulted me, I just smiled politely and agreed before moving on. The best part was that it actually seemed to annoy her even more than any backtalk would. And she still couldn't complain about it.

And so, we return to our companions.

"Welcome back, Master, Director!" Tamamo Cat called, stretching like the animal she claimed to be as she rises to meet us. Mash echoes her greeting as she too gets to her feet.

"Our main goal should be to locate potential allies." The Director announces, strict and businesslike. "And identify the source of this Singularity."

"Master." Hassan-I-Sabbah of the Hundred Faces says. Their voice is soft and quiet, like the wind through the trees in a forest. "We have identified multiple inbound Servants."

"How?" How could there be Servants here? We were in the modern day, why would there be Servants here?

"We are in Fuyuki," the Director muses.

"Director, assume for a moment that I don't know where that is."

"The site of the Holy Grail War, what Chaldea's summoning system is based off of. But the years don't match up."

"Well, it is a deviation from the accepted course of history, so that's to be expected. Hassan, what type of Servants and how fast?"

"They walk at a casual pace. It would be accurate to say that they are two separate groups of Servants. One is composed of two Servants, a Lancer and the corrupted form of one of my predecessors. The other group consists of one Servant, who does not appear to be corrupted."

"Define 'corrupted.'"

"They appear... wrong. Like walking corpses, which ooze a thick, black blood. We have not engaged them in combat yet. We do not wish to lose any of our number."

"And the other?"

"He appears as a normal, healthy Servant, Master. The two groups have engaged each other in combat, and appear to bear no love for each other."

"Director? Your thoughts?"

"Seek an accord with the... normal Servant. We do need allies, and someone who knows what's going on."

"Right then. Berserker, make ready for combat but don't engage without my signal. Shielder, if a fight does break out, I'm going to spend the entire fight cowering behind you. Director, you're cowering with me so neither of us gets reduced to a smear on the wall. Assassin, have one of your number approach the uncorrupted Servant. Approach him and see if he'll agree to a parley. If he agrees, guide us to him. Keep us clear of the other two."

"Understood." Nods all around, although the Director's seems a bit reluctant. All the same, we head out. Time to see how good I am at negotiating.

 

"Master. He has agreed to the parley."

"Thank you, Assassin. Guide us to him." I look around. "Mash, keep yourself between him and us until he's been confirmed friendly. Berserker, be ready to fight if he attacks us." She doesn't look it, but her stats are top-notch. An A in Agility and Mana, and Bs in both Strength and Luck. Her Endurance and Noble Phantasm are fairly low-grade, but her Personal Skills, Witchcraft, Monstrous Strength, and Shapeshifting are all fairly useful. Honestly, I got lucky summoning her. Still wish I got Hercules, though.

We head out, guided by one of Assassin's hundred faces. Servants. Legends. Heroes. And they're deferring to me.

Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean, it's one Hell of an ego boost, but... they're deferring to me Me. Can I really be trusted with this much authority?

This isn't the time for doubt, though. The city is burning, my life and those of Mash and the Director hang in the balance, and I need to be fully committed.

Should probably straighten out the chain of command, though. And ensure that my boss doesn't feel too slighted. Fun as it is to play the gadfly, it won't do my career prospects any favors.

"Director," I pipe up, startling her from her own reverie. "Apologies if I seem to have usurped your authority. I am still yours to command, but in combat scenarios, is it permissible that I take an active command role?"

She pauses. "Fair enough. The Servants obey you, after all. It would be cumbersome to have to give orders through you in combat."

"Thank you. Who should take the lead in the negotiations?"

"I will. I am still Director, after all, and you are my subordinate, Servants or not." Fair enough. I want to work for her. Not do her job.

"Very well." I'm torn. Do I ask her about Chaldeas? I really want to know how it works, but I get the sense she'll be completely insufferable if given a chance to explain it. Before I can come to a decision, however, it's taken out of my hands.

"Master. He is just ahead." Hassan says in their quiet tones. Still not sure how to refer to them. I mean, their gender, from what I can tell, is best measured in percentages.

"And the other two?"

"A safe distance away."

"Right then. Positions, everybody." Showtime. I clasp my hands behind my back in a parade rest, steel my features, and follow Mash out of the alleyway, at the right of the Director, just a step behind her.

 

The Servant who's waiting for us on the street looks young. About my age, to be honest. He's handsome, from what I can see under the hood, and dressed in a blue and white robe, complete with a white-furred hood. In his hand, he holds a long wooden staff engraved with runes. If this guy isn't a Caster, I'll eat my hat. Wait, I'm not wearing a-

"So, you're the Master, then." He calls with a smile, looking at the Director. "Thanks. Your Assassin Servants running around kept that Archer bastards eyes off me. Finally let me finish off Rider."

"My subordinate to my right is the Master. Hello. I am Olga-Marie Animusphere, Director of Chaldea."

"Well, then, little lady, good to meetcha," he grins, and for some reason I'm reminded of my dogs. "My Class is Caster, but, honestly, the whole Grail War's been completely off the rails for a while now."

"Yes. In the proper human history, there was no Grail War in 2004. We seek to resolve this aberration in the timeline by securing and removing the Holy Grail."

"That so."

"Will you aid us in resolving this Singularity?" she asks. I wince. At least butter him up a bit first! Right, if she didn't put him off by being so blunt, we'll probably still need to soothe some concerns.

"Sure."

Right, he has concerns, so address them- wait. What?

"Rather trusting of you," I comment, trying to hide the conversational whiplash I just suffered.

"I had truth-runes set up. Not a single lie. Plus, going up against all the others sounds like a fun fight." He is surprisingly mellow. Are all Heroic Spirits like this?

"Welcome aboard then. What can you tell us about the situation?" The Director shoots me a glare for my interruption as she speaks.

"Not much to say. It was a normal Grail War at first. Then, everything started burning and that black mud was everywhere. Saber... changed. It was like she just turned into some sort of dark reflection of herself. Then, she went on a rampage. All the Servants she killed rose as shadows of their former selves. I'm the only one she didn't get. These days, she's holed up in the cavern of the Holy Grail. Archer stands guard for her, and Assassin and Lancer are her attack dogs."

"Do you know her identity?" I interject. Sorry, Director, but tactical concerns are in my wheelhouse.

"Sure. She's none other than King Arthur."

King Arthur? But that-

King Arthur was a woman. I- I just- What?

"You okay, kid?" Caster asks, looking at me with concern.

"Yeah, no, just- Kind of trying to wrap my head around the fact that one of my personal heroes and my role model for how a man should conduct himself was actually a woman. So, y'know, not really."

I mean, Mordred was his son, right? And didn't he have at least one kid by Guinevere? How did that work? And another thing-

"Disquieting revelations aside, may I ask if you're willing to reveal your true name and capabilities?" The Director's smirking a bit. I think she's enjoying this a little too much.

"Eh, sure. Best if my allies know what I can do." He grins, and lowers his hood. "Name's Cu Chulainn. Looking forward to working with you."

-I just don't understand. How did everybody, from the serving staff to the knights, miss that the king was a woman? How many people were in on it? And- Wait, Cu Chulainn?

"I thought you would be a Lancer," I blurt out.

He glares. "So did I."

"Ah. I'm sorry you lost your spear."

"Yeah, I'm nowhere near my full power without it." He looks honestly bummed about it.

"Well to be fair, your Gae Bolg is a huge part of your legend."

"Yeah." He grins, his eyes lost in the green meadows of nostalgia. "Feels weird, not having it's girth in my hands."

"I would have loved to see it in action."

The Director is giving us both a look. Why-? Ah. I suppose the conversations was getting a bit Freudian.

"Well, whether you have your spear or not, it's still an honor to meet you," I say, meaning every word. Sure the hero I considered the ideal of everything a man should be turned out to be a woman, but I got to meet the most Irish Irishman in Irish history! I'm calling today a net positive. Would it be too much to ask for an autograph? Well, I don't have any paper on me, so an autograph is pretty much impossible right now, but it I get to keep my job, I might want to consider getting an autograph book. Aaaaaaaaannnnnnd the Director's giving me a 'stop wasting time' look. Time to get down to the strategizing.

"Right then. Time to draft our plan of attack. First, Caster, this is Berserker," I point to Tamamo, who apparently got distracted by a pretty rock at some point in the meeting, "that's Shielder," point to Mash, still standing dutifully between us, "and the army of invisible skull faced killers behind you are Assassin." He actually looks over his shoulder at that one, then gives a snort of laughter. "Oh. And I'm Charles Flynn. My friends call me Charlie. Assassin, are the other two any nearer?"

"Yes." Everybody startles a little. I had honestly forgotten where they were standing when they disappeared. "But not by much. They are still a ways away. Five blocks in distance."

"Give us warning when it gets down to three and we'll relocate. Right then. How about you tell us your capabilities, and we tell you ours? That way we can hash out our tactics and order of attack."

He grins. "Well, for starters..."

 

"Hey, gents, would either of you happen to have a lighter on you?" I ask as I stroll up to the two rotting monstrosities that once were Servants.

For a moment, they exchange looks, as if not believing the bounty that's laid out before their eyes, and then, as one, they turn to look at me hungrily.

Then, from behind them, there's a sound like thunder, and the Lancer's head goes flying.

Tamamo Cat, Agility-boosting runes glowing on her skirt and muscles bulging with Monstrous Strength, skids to a halt facing the corrupted Assassin, her face pulled back in a snarl.

"Finish the job."

She snarls in agreement, and lunges towards the flabbergasted Assassin. I turn away to avoid the carnage. Behind me, I hear flesh and bone rip and tear away, and the snarls and bellows of something not remotely human. It stops after a minute, however.

"You done?"

"Yes, Master," she sounds sleepy.

I turn. She's curled up in the scattered, shredded viscera of the Corrupted Servant, her paws and mouth caked with now-dissolving black blood and her entire front liberally splattered with it.

"I'm a bit tired, Master. Could you carry me?"

I give her a look. "Shift to fox form, and I'll consider it."

Looking away from the catgirl Berserker, (what the Hell is my life turning into?) I give the "all clear" signal to Assassin.

As expected, Plan Berserk Railgun worked flawlessly. Both Lancer and, wait this is just getting confusing. Need something to differentiate them. Ooh, there we go. Both Dark Lancer and Dark Assassin's bodies are dissolving.

"Both targets eliminated." Assassin says from behind me. "It would seem your plan worked."

"Indeed." I say, not because it really needs confirmation but more because I'm not sure what else to say. Looking back, Tamamo's taken fox form and curled up into a fluffy little ball to nap. I pick her up. She's heavy, but it's fox-heavy, not woman-heavy. I restrain myself from cooing at her adorability as I scratch behind her ears.

After a minute or two, the Director, Mash, and Caster catch up.

"Flynn. The enemy?" The director's all business.

"Extremely deceased. You're standing in one of Dark Assassin's puddles, right now." I carefully conceal my amusement as she jumps and shrieks. "He's mostly dissolved, though." She glares.

"And… is that Berserker?"

"Yes. Using Monstrous Strength and her Noble Phantasm exhausted her. Since we cannot afford to wait around, I offered to carry her."

"In fox form."

"I doubt I could lift her otherwise. Also, she's very fluffy."

The Director gives me an annoyed look, and then sighs. "Very well."

"Want to pet her?"

"No!"

Mash takes me up on the offer, though. Cu's too busy laughing.


"So. Next on our hit list is Archer."

Cu nods.

"What can he do?"

"He makes weapons, I think. Plus, he shoots arrows that explode."

"Any idea as to his True Name?"

"Not a clue."

I transferred Foxmamo over to Mash, who's cuddling her tightly to her chest, while Olga stares on, wanting to pet the ridiculously fluffy fox but being too proud to embarrass herself in front of her subordinates like that.

"How many arrows can he shoot at once?"

"Just one at a time, I think."

"Assassin, send a body to talk with us. I have an idea."

 

I peer through the spyglass from behind the building.

"There he is."

Tall, grey-haired, and well-muscled. And his jumpsuit isn't exactly doing much to hide that. A bow almost as long as he is tall in his hand. He's exactly as Cu described him.

"Begin Operation Dogpile." I don't care how much Cu glared at me, that pun had to be made.

At my signal, Cu, along with about fifty of Assassin's bodies disguised to look like Cu, break cover and run towards him. All spread out wide enough that he can only take them out one at a time, and all cloaked under Presence Concealment, or a runic facsimile thereof.

"Has he noticed, Senpai?" Mash asks, turning her head back to look at me from where she stands, shield in hand.

"No, and keep your eyes on the target. We don't want him catching us unawares."

According to Cu, Archer was "a pragmatic bastard, who doesn't give a shit about honor or enjoyment in a fight. Bit like you, actually." Thus, it stood to reason that the minute he was outnumbered, he'd try to even the odds by killing his enemies' Master. Which was why I was half a city away watching the fight through a spyglass (provided by Caster, though God knows how,) while hiding behind Mash.

He still hasn't noticed, but he's starting to look around cautiously. He knows something is wrong, but he has no idea what.

And... there! Assassin emerges and attacks from behind. Cu described the man's fighting style, and borderline clairvoyance in combat, but it seems Archer can't plan for what he doesn't see coming. Interesting. I wonder what skill that is.

Archer whirls about to face the attacker, leaving himself exposed to the next attacker. While he tries to face both at once, he's stabbed in the back once more.

Assassin is far from the strongest Heroic Spirit there is. But at the same time, there are none better when it comes to dirty tricks. And, contrary to what pop culture would have you believe, people generally can't handle fighting in melee against multiple opponents. The normal disadvantages, namely poor coordination and being forced to bottleneck, don't apply because of Hassan-I-Sabbah's nature as a hive mind. They're perfectly coordinated and only send in enough so that they can outnumber and flank him, but not so many that they trip each other up. A Golden Mean of dishonorably ganking somebody.

Right. Now, with Archer outnumbered, if the Hassans fail to finish the job, then-

There's a flash of light and suddenly, sword fire out in every direction about Archer like a hail of arrows. Five Hassans down. Well, time for Plan B. Caster blasts him from behind and then Tamamo (who's been sneaking up in fox form) finishes him off while he's reeling. If that fails, more Hassans strike, until he's too wounded and exhausted to fight anymore.

Alright, Caster's- Dammit, he's in front of him. Why? Well, I guess he'd be opposed to blasting an opponent in the back, being an honorable Celtic warrior and all, but still. And- no, wait, what is he doing? Why is he casting that runic spell, and- Why the Hell is Mr. E-Ranked Strength engaging his opponent in melee combat? I mean, it looks awesome, but it's also really stupid, and not part of the plan of attack!

"Assassin. The fuck is he doing." Mash winces, and I mentally reprimand myself for swearing in front of her. Well, apologies later.

"He has employed a runic spell he called the Ath nGabla-"

"-which starts a compelled one-on-one duel that neither party can opt out of, and no outside force can interfere with." I finish glumly. "Why, though?"

"He claimed that the planned strategy was too dishonorable for him, and he wanted an honest challenge."

I make an inarticulate gargling noise of rage. Besides me, the Director looks equally pissed.

"And he couldn't have just mentioned it in the planning session?"

"We do not know why. We cannot parse his motivations any better than you can."

"Fucking Celts and their goddamn battle fetish." I take a breath, and cast out my frustration. All is well, and I am calm. All is well, and I am calm. "All right, I'll just ask him myself. Tell Tamamo to stand down and await further orders. Clear the way of skeletons for us, and guide us by the most direct route possible."

"Yes, Master."

In hindsight, I should have communicated more with Caster. He hadn't been happy about Operation Berserk Railgun, either. He enjoys a good fight, said so himself, and doesn't appreciate my more pragmatic leanings. In all honesty, this is a pretty good learning experience. My ethos won't always mesh with that of the Servants I summon. Setting aside questions of morality and values dissonance, there's also the fact that a great number of them, especially the strongest ones among them like Hercules and Cu, come from cultures that place more value on personal honor and glory. Like Achilles, if I deny them their chance to fight and show their mettle, or disrespect their worth as warriors, they'll set up in their tents and never leave.

So, I need to balance the efficiency of my strategies with the morale and personal codes of my troops, and make an effort to persuade them of the necessity of my more extreme or dishonorable measures. I can do that. Thank God for Assassin, though. Having a Servant with no ego is useful as hell.

It's about an hour before we make it to the site of the fighting. My legs, much like the rest of me, are feel like they've been set on fire and worked over with a tire iron. The Director seems equally exhausted, while Mash is still insufferably perky, for which I loathe her.

Looks like this was the local high school, before. And they're fighting on the roof. Ugh.

"Assassin, how do we get up there?"

The masked, shadowy figure points to where the charred and blackened walls have partially collapsed. Coupled with the burnt corpses of the nearby trees, it appears possible to climb up to the roof.

Of course Assassin would make me climb the building like an Assassin's Creed character. Actually, on that note, I totally need to get Assassin to play Assassin's Creed. Their reaction would be hilarious.

But for now I sigh, stretch my sore arms, and make like a Kenway. After falling on my ass twice, I finally get Berserker to pick me up in a bridal carry and jump her way up. I tolerate this affront to my masculinity with Stoic resolve, not much helped by how the Director is laughing her ass off at me.

With one mighty leap, Berserker jumps up to the roof, with me not-so comfortably resting in her arms. When she sets me down, I take a moment to compose myself, because Jesus Fuck that hurt. The human body is not meant to go from zero to sixty and then back again in a single second, as mine is making perfectly clear to me. The world is spinning and I think I'm going to throw up.

I sit for a bit until the world stops spinning. Then, I turn my attention towards the rooftop's main event.

"Hey, Caster!" I shout.

"What?" He calls back, continuing to force Archer back in a hail of blows. With his runic enhancement, the pair are roughly equal in strength and stamina, but Lancer's faster and he's taking full advantage of that fact. All in all, he's likely to pull off the win. Regardless of whatever tricks Archer has up his sleeve, he doesn't appear to be able to perform them mid-fight, and he's likely to lose in an endurance match.

"The Hell?"

"Kid, I like you. But you're a weasel." He sidesteps Archer's desperate attempt at a counterstrike, landing a shot to his ribs as a riposte. "I wanted to honorably finish things with this bastard, and you don't seem like the type who'd stomach the risk."

"If you had asked, and reminded me of the Ath nGabla, I would have okayed it."

"Really?"

"I might not respect the way you do things, but I respect you. besides, this current situation, which would have happened if you'd asked and we okayed your plan, isn't actually all that bad, tactically speaking."

"Hm. Do tell." His blows shatter one of Archer's swords, and the Dark Servant hastily makes a new one.

"Sure, there's a marginal chance of you losing. But, even if Archer wins, he'll be exhausted and heavily injured, and facing multiple fresh servants. Plus, I doubt that the Grail is refilling his mana reserves fast enough for them to be anywhere near serviceable afterwards. Especially not after all those swords you're forcing him to create."

"True enough." He shatters another set of blades. Archer snarls as he generates a new pair. He looks like a cornered animal, now.

"Anyways, mind if I call Assassin and Shielder up here?"

"Not at all." His staff takes Archer in the leg, and I hear something snap. "I'm just about done, anyways."

"Yeah," Archer growls. "Me too."

He creates some sort of twisted, jagged dagger, and stabs himself in the leg, leaving me and Caster blinking in confusion.

"Was that supposed to-"

He creates and tosses a dagger at me in one smooth motion.

And Berserker deflects it.

"This is just sad." I comment, as Berserker, now no longer prevented from interfering by the Ath nGabla, tears him apart in an animalistic fury.

"Yeah," Cu sighs, coming over to sit down beside me as Berserker finishes the already wounded Archer off. "Guess I wasn't going to get a fair fight out of him anyways."

"Seems that way."

"Is she... eating him? Because, honestly, seeing a woman go berserk like this is kinda hot, but also kinda scary."

"Leaning more towards the 'scary' side of the scale myself."

Tamamo finally wears herself out, and then, shifting to fox form, curls up for a nap. Around her, the bloody chunks of Archer begin to dissolve.

"So. King Arthur." I say, breaking the silence.

"Yep."

"Assassin, tell Mash to bring up the Director. Strategy time."

 

"Excalibur shoots lasers." I'm not sure whether I should cry or laugh.

"Yep." Cu shoots back, grinning at my expression.

"Yeah, okay. Makes about as much sense as about everything else today." I return my attention to the crude map we sketched out on the rooftop. Mash, Caster, Assassin, the Director and myself are all huddled around it. Berserker's still sleeping. "So. How do we beat it? Because from what you tell me, the Grail's giving her an unlimited power supply, and we don't have any defenses that could stand against it."

Defenses…

"Mash, can you access your... body-buddy's Noble Phantasms? If he qualifies as a Shielder, they're most likely defensive in nature."

"Body-buddy?" the Director repeats, arching an eyebrow sardonically.

"I don't know the vernacular, okay? Started today, if you remember."

"I-" Mash looks down, ashamed. "I don't know the name of my Noble Phantasm, Senpai."

"But you have one, right?"

"I believe so, yes!" she affirms, with an innocent enthusiasm that puts me in mind of a puppy.

"Cu? Any ideas?"

"We could try to jog it loose. Put her in enough stress, or a situation where her only option is to use her Noble Phantasm, and she might find a way to use it."

"Right. That's one option. Assassin? Any suggestions?"

"Our own Noble Phantasm is something we were born with, amplified by our status as a Heroic Spirit. We have no experience with such a thing, but if we has to offer a suggestion, it would likely resemble Caster's."

"Right then. Caster, do what you can to teach her how to use that Noble Phantasm of hers. Director? Any objections?"

"No." She's been more taciturn lately. I'm not sure why.

"Assassin, you're in charge of supervising this and keeping anything truly catastrophic from happening. Berserker's still out of it, but frankly, we don't her for this."

"Understood, Master." they say. As Cu, Mash, and Assassin get up to leave, I stay put. Mash looks back at me.

"Won't you be joining us, Senpai?"

"I have been running around this barren hellscape for hours without any rest. I have no idea how long it's been, but I'm dog tired. So I'm taking a page from Berserker and getting some sleep while I can." Won't make up for the lack of food and water, but at least it's something.

With that having been said, I slip off my glasses, lie down, rest my head in my hands, and try to drift off.

And so, with the distant sound of destruction in my ears, I pass peacefully into the realm of dreams.


Until I'm rudely woken up, that is.

"OCH DEUG ODIIIIIIIINNNN!!!!!!!"

"LORD CHALDEAS!"

The sound reminds me of a jet liner taking off, but more explodey. And so I jolt muzzily to my feet, stumbling woozily for a few steps before straightening out, and trying to see what's going on. Everything's distant and blurry and I have- wait.

I put my glasses back on. Okay, eyes are back in order.

The surrounding buildings are totaled. Mash is standing in front of the burnt-out high school with an expression of mingled joy and anger. Cu stands a hundred yards away from her, looking smug. The various Assassin duplicates I can see are surrounding Cu with knives drawn and ready, and Berserker is on her feet, looking just as annoyed and startled as I feel.

And the Director is standing in front of me looking pissed.

"What'd they do?" I ask, stifling a yawn.

"That lunatic Caster tried to blow up the school!"

"Okay, why?"

"He said he was trying to awaken Mash's Noble Phantasm!"

"Did it work?"

"Yes, but he could have killed all of us if it hadn't!" She's flushed, her jaw clenched as tightly as her fists.

"Cool. Hey, Assassin!"

"Yes, Master?" one of their bodies asks, materializing behind me.

"Have your bodies tell Caster that, since it worked, I'm not pissed at him, but if he ever does that again, I'm ordering Berserker to castrate him. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to sleep."

I proceeded to do so, and this time, was permitted a few hours.

 

My second waking is far more gradual than my first, and marginally less unpleasant. Something's licking my chin.

That had better not be Tamamo. I tolerate it from my dogs, but from another sapient life form, it'd just be weird.

"Fou!" Wasn't that the white fluffy thing? How the hell did it get here?

I open my eyes. Yep, there it is, all fluffy and white, defying any form of taxonomical classification.

"Well, hello you, where'd you come from?" I get my arm beneath me and PAIN.

Well, all my limbs are sore as hell, as is my back from napping on concrete. I slump back down.

"Senpai! You're awake!" Hello, Mash.

"He certainly is." And hello Direct-

I turn my head to look at her where she sits, crouched down a few feet to my right, facing me. She's giving me a fairly complicated look which I can't for the life of me decipher.

"Were you... watching me sleep?" My voice squeaks a bit when I ask that, and I scramble away from her, which hurts like a bitch when reflex lets go of the wheel and my brain takes over.

"Hm? No."

"Well, good then." I say awkwardly, struggling to get up. Mash, angel that she is, offers me a hand up, which I gladly take. Right. Where are the others?

I look around and see them.

"Got any tens?" Cu asks.

Berserker shakes her head, and Assassin smoothly instructs him to go fish. They're playing with a deck made out of roof tiles. I'm not sure what to make of that.

I clear my throat, and they look my way.

"You want to wrap that up first, or should we hit the road?"

"Eh, it was getting boring anyways." Cu shrugs and gets to his feet.

"Master!" Berserker is far more enthusiastic in her greeting, lunging for me in a full-on tackle, chattering all the way. I wheeze beneath her as she babbles.

"Tamamo. Off." She complies, and I gingerly get up. "Right then. Only one foe left, since we'll be avoiding Berserker like the plague. Let's finish this."

And so, we were off.

 

My everything hurts.

Between my sore muscles and the possibly rib-cracking tackle hug Tamamo gave me, the combined effect is to leave me feeling like a walking bruise. But I soldier through. Don't let the pain move you. Keep going. Gravitas.

Admittedly, Tamamo Cat Hulk-jumping her way down from the school's roof while bridal-carrying me didn't much help matters, but it was either that or climbing down, and I'm currently incapable of raising my arms at more than a 45-degree angle.

At least the pain keeps me focused on something besides the hunger and the thirst, though. And Cu slipped me a runestone that I'm pretty sure has healing properties. So, after an hour of walking, I've mostly hit my stride. Assassin's various bodies clear the way, while Tamamo, Mash, and Cu all act as guards, dealing with whatever slips past the Assassins so the Director and me don't get our squishy selves pulped. For her part, the Director looks considerably less sore than me. No idea how she's doing it, but I'm jealous all the same.

Finally, however, we reach the cave.

"Right. Before we head in, any last-minute revisions to the plan?" I look around. "Alright. Going once, going twice... Nobody. Well then." I take a fortifying breath, then do my best to conceal my wince. "Let's do this."


It's dark. That's the one thing that sticks in my mind as I look around the cave. Ahead, Berserker, Mash, and Caster are clearing the way, with Mash and Tamamo rotating to defend and attack respectively, while Cu provides ranged support. But even the flashes of light from Caster's blasts (which are ruining my night vision, incidentally) only seem to set the dark crevasses and shadows beyond their range into greater contrast.

"Director, you wouldn't happen to have some sort of spell to provide illumination, would you?"

"No."

"Seems like it'd be a useful spell to have."

"Before electricity, maybe. Nowadays, why waste time studying a heavily degraded mystery when you could just bring a flashlight?"

"Fair enough. Looks like they're done."

We advance down the tunnel, and emerge into a dimly lit cavern. A dark figure stands before the Grail, her eyes hidden behind a black visor. Arthur. King of the Britons. I'd make a Monty Python reference if I wasn't fairly certain it'd end in my gristly demise.

And she's wearing a dress. There go my hopes of Arthur just looking a bit effeminate and Cu being mistaken.

Well, buck up, Charlie. King Arthur was always a bit of a blurry stretch of history. Full of unreliable narrators and such. Him being a her is actually a good sign! If Arthur was actually a Servant formed exclusively from the legends around him, he'd just be a reflection of those legends. Arthur being a girl could be taken as definitive proof that she existed, and wasn't just an invention of Geoffery of Monmouth.

Oh, right, she started talking.

"How do you know about that?" the Director asks the black knight, shocked.

Okay, I definitely missed something important while I was zoning out. Story of my life, really.

"That is of no matter." the corrupted Saber replies. "Now, we face each other on the battlefield. Only two outcomes remain: Victory, or death." And with that cheery observation, she raises her blade, black energy coursing around it. "EXCALIBUR MORGAN!"

"LORD CHALDEAS!"

The cold emptiness of perfect tyranny, of crushing all who rebel and resist beneath one's heel, crashing into the warm light of home, and the earnest desire to protect it, and in their clashing, both are broken.

And in the wake of that initial clast, our counterstrike begins.

Assassin serves as the opener. Dashing in and breaking presence concealment as they strike from every angle, never ceasing their motion. But, unlike the Archer we fought earlier, it quickly becomes apparent that King Arthur doesn't need to see a strike coming to parry it. Assassin strikes like a thousand dancers, each moving in perfect coordination. But the corrupted Saber dances her part to match, each movement effortlessly flowing in to match, compliment, or counter Assassin's strikes. She dances with twenty partners, and never misses a step. And as the dance goes on, the number of partners drops, Saber finding openings, her parries and dodges merging seamlessly into her attacks. It's easy to see why the legends claim Excalibur made her invincible. In truth, if this is the level of skill she possessed on her own, I have no doubt she seldom needed Excalibur. She's not as fast as Assassin, but her fighting skill more than makes up for it. And her every strike hits like a truck.

But finally, the dance is ended, by the King's decree. Dark, vile mana blasts out from behind her elbow,sending her spinning in a bladed pirouette. When she regains her footing, ten of Assassin's bodies are dead. Not even two minutes in and we've up to fifteen casualties. And her footing is firm, sunk in like the roots of a mountain, leaving her facing the charging Tamamo, blade at the ready.

"Shuchikirin!"

Saber doesn't hesitate, nor does she huddle up. Instead, in the face of the raw savagery of Tamamo's Noble Phantasm, she moves like the wind. Every blow that can be dodged avoided. Every counterstrike that can be made taken. Once Tamamo's fury has abated, she's sent flying into the wall behind Saber to slump in a growing puddle of her own blood.

"Caster, how's that charge looking?" I try to keep my voice from squeaking. I don't succeed.

"Nowhere near done." He reports grimly. "Two more minutes."

"Capital."

Saber raises her sword once more, and in response, Mash raises her shield. This time, I feel the drain as she draws on my own mana to power it.

"EXCALIBUR MORGAN!"

"LORD CHALDEAS!"

Once more, tyranny batters against the doors of home. And once more it finds no purchase.

The Assassins pour out again, as Saber charges towards us, stopping her in her advance. The dance of blades begins anew, with twice as many participants. Another minute is won, at the cost of thirty more of Assassin's bodies. She tries to advance, but is halted again, as the dance begins anew. Seconds tick by, marked not by the motion of the clock hands, but by the tearing of flesh and the thumping of corpses hitting the ground, as Saber's advance picks up speed.

The black knight's blade clashes against our protector's shield, and Cu gives me a nod.

"Mash, by the power of my Command Seal, push her back to the room's center! Berserker, by my Command Seal, return to me!"

The red markings burn away as my orders are executed. With a great cry, Mash strikes Saber, forcing her back to the Grail. At the same time, Tamamo vanishes and appears besides me, injured, but still breathing.

"Caster! Mash! Now!"

"OCH DEUG ODIIIIIIIIIN!"

"LORD CHALDEAS!"

The force of the runic array going off caves in the cavern. Saber vanishes behind the curtain of light while our group rests safely behind Mash's shield.

Then, we're left buried under the rubble.

"Caster. Blast our way out."

"You got it, kid."

With a roar like thunder, the rubble above us vanishes, and we emerge into the open air.

"Right, solid work, everybody. Not entirely according to plan, but we made it work. Status?"

The Director appears to be hyperventilating and muttering "absolute lunatic" under her breath. Caster is to busy laughing his ass off to reply.

"I'm fine, Senpai!" Mash. Just fought King Arthur in CQC and just as cheerful as ever. What a trooper.

"We live, and are for the most part uninjured, but only ten of us survive." Assassin's report, on the other hand, is far more worrying.

"Kid?" Oh, Cu's stopped laughing, even if he's still out of breath. "I take back every bad thing I said about you. You might be a coward, but you're my kind of crazy."

"Thank you. I think. Help me patch up Berserker?"

Together, we set about bandaging up her wounds.

Wait. "If Saber's dead, and the Grail War's over, why haven't you disappeared?"

He looks dumbstruck, then his face slowly shifts into a sort of dawning horror to match mine. Behind us, the rubble shifts.

"Well done, Chaldea." The black knight calls, pulling her torso up out the rubble, Grail in hand and Excalibur Morgan nowhere to be seen. "Perhaps-"

"OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKILLHERKILLHERNOW!"

A barrage of magical blasts and thrown daggers slam into the corrupted King Arthur, who, still buried up to her waist in unstable rubble, is in no position to dodge them. She survives, but three more volleys finish the job.

"Is she dead? Cu, poke her with a stick."

"You poke her with a stick."

She dissolves into golden light.

"Oh thank God."

I hunch over to take a few calming breaths. And when I look up-

"Well hello, Olga-Marie."

Holy shit.

I had no idea Willy Wonka had an evil twin!

 

Cu dissolves into golden light at my side as I gaze up at the atrociously dressed stranger who stands where Saber died, Grail in hand.

"Lev!" Olga-Marie is downright overjoyed to see the man, though, so I suppose he's probably not all that bad. "Thank God you're here!"

As she runs up to hug him, relief clear to see on her face, I sidle closer to Mash and whisper, "Okay who is this guy?"

" Professor Lev Lainur Flauros," I desperately try not to snicker at the name. "he designed Chaldeas and was a huge help for the Director."

"All right, just try to make contact, for the love of God, people, it's not rocket science-" Dr. Roman's glowing blue figure appears. "Oh. We're through. Sorry, Jerry, drinks are on me next time." A mumbeled reply is heard. "Yes, the bar wasn't bombed. Professor Flauros! Good to see you're still with us. I'm a bit surprised at your survival, though."

"I could say the same of you, Roman. I thought for sure that you were in the infirmary when it was bombed." There's something suspicious about that sentence. Not sure what. "Olga-Marie! I'm surprised you made it. I thought for certain you had perished in the explosion."

"Enough catching up," the Director says, drying her eyes. "Lev. Detain that man as a suspect in the bombings."

I look around. Who is she pointing to- Oh. Ohhhhhh.

"WHAT?"

"He's the only person unaccounted for during the time of the briefing. Further, his first response upon meeting me was to point out his increased value as a Master with his former colleagues all deceased. Further, he already knew a great deal about Servants before I met him, and yet protested that he was an untrained novice in magecraft. Beyond even that, all his tactics and behaviors indicate a ruthlessness and disregard for others characteristic of sociopathy. He's incredibly suspicious, and by far the most likely suspect for the bombings." She lists off, her eyes focused on me with a cold rage.

She thinks I'm the bomber? That- But-

"Olga-Marie, calm down. I know for a fact that Mr. Flynn here isn't the bomber," Professor Lev assures her, laying a hand on her shoulder.

Thank God! A voice of reason! Fashion sense aside, he really is a good person!

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I am."

...I could be wrong.

"What?"

"I planted the bombs, Olga!" He smiles as he says this, but it's no insane grimace. No, he smiles like a man discussing the weather with an old friend.

"No. That's impossible! You built Chaldeas! Why would you destroy it?"

"Because my King commanded it, of course! It's nothing personal, I assure you, but, for our plans to proceed, Chaldea had to die! Bit of an embarrassment, really, considering I built the damn place!" He chuckles affably at that.

Alright, enough of that. "Assassin!"

"Now that's not very nice." He snaps his fingers and-

When my ears stop ringing and my eyesight recovers from the glare, I see the patch of smoking glass. And Assassin's nine bodies.

"So, you mentioned plans?" He's clearly a monster, and we're probably all fucked, but maybe he's got Bond Villain Syndrome. Not likely, but not all that many other options.

"Well- Hm. Perhaps it's best I show you!" He waves his Grail hand, and a red rift opens in the air. Within it, the same burning room I ran into to save Mash what seems like a lifetime ago crackles cheerfully. "Ta-da!"

"That's Chaldeas!" Olga-Marie shouts. "But- It's all red! How? How can all of human history have turned red?"

"Because we set it on fire, dear girl!" He says it in the manner of someone pointing out the obvious to a child. "Why, I dare say that as of this moment, not a single being lives, or has ever lived, on all the Earth! Rather solid work, I must say."

Oh God. My dogs! And my family!

"Why? Why would you do this?" Roman asks, looking as horrified as I feel right now.

"Not a clue. Orders from the top, you know? Boss being unreasonable and all that. To tell the truth, I wasn't expecting either of you to live, Charles, Romani. Or Mash, for that matter. It's been quite a while since I was last surprised by something, (the boss' new pyromania kick being the last such occasion,) so I think I'll let you all live for a little bit longer. Consider it my gift to you."

I glare at him. I don't I've ever wanted somebody dead this much in my entire life.

"And as for you, Olga, why, you surprised me most of all!" she barely reacts as he turns to face her, staring numbly at him with shock and betrayal written clearly across her face. "After all, I put that bomb right under your seat!"

"It's... not true, Lev. It's not true. Please. Don't- Don't-" she's crying, now, tears streaming down her face.

"But, your spirit got swept up in that last Rayshift, and you managed to live on a bit longer. An impossibility. An error! A one-in-a-kind miracle, beyond all expectations! That's my Olga-Marie." He smiles, and it's all the crueler for its kindness. "So, as a reward, I'll give you what humans have chased after for centuries! Eternal life!" Some unseen force seizes the Director, dragging her up to the rift. And Chaldeas. "I mean, sure, it'll be full of unending pain as you hang for all eternity, incapable of even screaming, but beggar's can't be choosers!"

I can't save her. One command seal. No Servants capable of countering his Magecraft with Caster gone. What Servants I do have injured and exhausted. I can't save her.

"Please! Somebody! Help me! I don't want to die like this! Please! I haven't accomplished anything! I've never been praised for everything! Please!"

I close my eyes, and try to drown out the screams. They rise, desperate pleas, grieving wails, all reaching a crescendo in one final, agonized, cry.

And then there is silence.

"Huh. Well, there's Olga-Marie taken care of. Good kid. She'll really go far." Lev's still grinning like he's everyone's favorite Uncle. "Well, best of luck clearing the other Singularities, champ. See ya when I'm ordered to kill you!" The rift to Chaldeas closes, and a new one opens, leading into darkness. Lev strolls into it without a care in the world, tossing the Grail back over his shoulder as he does so, and the rift closes behind him.

Mash picks it up, looking about as shocked as I feel.

"G-Grail secured. Singularity resolved." Roman stammers over the comms. I don't blame him in the slightest. "Beginning Rayshift."

And in a flash of light, we were off.

 

Chaldea is quiet.

Or, at the very least, the Command Room is quiet. The staff members other than Roman, all three of them, look like the world just tilted under their feet. Roman's not looking much better.

Hell, I'm not looking much better.

Lev was telling the truth. Humanity is just... gone. Burned away. The Singularities are all that's left visible on Chaldeas- I wince. The Singularities are all that's left. Them and a bevy of smaller, far less stable micro-Singularities. We're all supposed to be planning, thinking of something. Anything.

But all we can do is stare in silent horror at the red light of humanity's ruin. And Chaldeas' crimson eye stares back.

All because we know exactly what the scarlet light of the Director's tomb means: Everything we know and love is gone.

Roman breaks the silence.

"All right. That's enough." We tear our eyes away from Chaldeas in order to look more fully at him. "We've been played. Humanity has been destroyed. But I refuse to let that stand. We're going to fix this."

"But what can we do?" I ask. It's... everything's gone. Everything.

"What Chaldea was always intended to do: Resolve the Singularities." He looks around sternly. "So pull yourselves together. We have a species to save. The Grand Order has begun."

I feel myself perk up despite myself. The other three do too.

"Right then. Command Room. How do we do this?" I toss out. Enough moping. Time to get started on planning how we fix this.

"Our first concern is personnel." one of the bridge bunnies says, I think his name is... Tom? "Only about twenty of us left-" and now I have no excuse for not remembering my coworkers' names. Dammit. "-so we're going to have to work out how we can make this work while we're understaffed."

"Got a plan for that." I offer. All heads turn to me. "Assassin's Noble Phantasm gives them a hundred bodies, each with their own unique skillset. They only have nine at the moment, but that's still nine experts in their respective fields to aid us. Beyond that, each and every Servant is a legend for a damn good reason. They can most likely be utilized to better Chaldea, and do some measure of the work. I'm fairly sure that I can talk them into it."

"That's all your wheelhouse," another bridge bunny. I'm calling him Jerry in my head until I get his actual name. "If anything Da Vinci's proof of concept for that plan."

"Da Vin- Leonardo Da Vinci is here?" Not much of a Renaissance scholar, but this is still awesome.

"Yeah. She's working on getting the generators back up and running and fixing the structural damage at the moment." Roman interjects.

"She?"

"Um. Yeah."

"So, bar's intact, right?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Third bridge bunny clears her throat. I dub thee Jessica. "We still need to resupply, though. And we can hardly do that with the world... well you know."

That puts a damper on things. Then I remember something, and check my pocket. It's still there.

"Not necessarily." I pull out the runestone. "Caster gave me this in the Singularity. It's still here." I point to the micro-Singularities. "We can harvest the resources from those."

"Well, yes, but those are too short lived to harvest raw resources."

"Then we gather processed resources." This is going to be a tough sell.

Roman looks at me. "And how do you propose to do that?"

"Human settlements tend to have large amounts of pre-processed resources just lying about for the taking. We have Servants. We can take what we need and Rayshift it back to Chaldea, by force if necessary."

Yeah. Hard sell. All of the others look somewhat perturbed at the idea. Roman most especially. "You're proposing we resort to banditry."

"More like piracy, but yes. If we fail, they'll all cease to exist regardless. Us taking their resources is ultimately to their benefit, regardless of their feelings on the matter."

He seems to struggle for a minute or two, before sighing. "I suppose I can't argue that."

"Any other concerns?"

"None too urgent."

"Good. Which way to the bar?"

Directions are given, and I'm off.

 

It's late, and I'm ever so slightly drunk, but I can't sleep. So, I find myself alone in the empty Rayshift room, staring up at Chaldeas.

"Hey, Boss."

I sit down on one of the charred consoles, trying to find the right words.

"Lev said you would be alive in there. Not sure if you can hear me, but I thought I'd keep you company for a bit."

I sigh.

"We're... soldiering on. This whole thing hasn't been easy. Losing you was one hell of a blow, and loosing the world was just as bad. But... We're going to do our damnedest to fix the world, I suppose. Who knows? Maybe we'll save you one of these days. Not likely, but hope springs eternal, y'know?"

She doesn't reply. To be fair, I wasn't expecting her to.

"Doctor Roman took over for you. Y'know, I kind of thought that he was an unreliable slacker when I first met him, but... When we were frozen, without any hope, he's the one who got us going. I think he'll do you proud."

I can almost see her grumbling at having anyone else take her job.

"Anything else? No, I think it's just the big one left." I take a fortifying breath. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I- I ran the scenario through my head a thousand times and- I couldn't think of a way that I could have saved you. And maybe that's supposed to make me feel better, that I did the best I could, and got as many people as I could manage out alive, but..." I shake my head. "It really doesn't."

The great red eye stares back at me, still silent as the grave.

"Anyways, that's... that's my apology. I know it's not worth much, and you probably still don't like me all that much, but there it is. Take it or leave it." I clear my throat. "So, anyways, I think I've said everything I needed to. Goodbye, Director. I hope..." I let it trail off. Well-wishing would just feel hollow. Nothing I can do will change her situation, for better or for worse.

As I leave for my room, I try to wipe away my eye-sweat. The fires may have been put out, but the room was still unbearably hot.

 

"Senpai? What's going on?" Mash asks, her head tilted adorably to one side. I manfully resist the urge to ruffle her hair.

Before us, the summoning room is being set up. Da Vinci, one of Assassin's bodies', and the only surviving summoning technician are all working together to attune it to the rune-inscribed stone at its heart.

"We don't have enough energy to do another multiple summon like back in Fuyuki, but we do have enough for one." I grin. "So we're using the rock Caster gave me as a Catalyst to summon him."

"Oh. That's wonderful! It would be nice to see him again!"

"Yeah. And having Ireland's greatest hero on our side will be a huge help." Plus, for all that I only knew him for a short time, I legitimately came to think of Cu as a friend.

"Right, then, Charlie, we're ready to go!" Da Vinci calls out. I refuse to call her Da Vinci-chan like she wants. The greatest Renaissance Man in history being transgender is one thing. The greatest Renaissance Man in history being a weeb temporarily broke my faith in humanity, and I refuse to encourage it.

"Alright then." I stand forth and present my two command seals (and wasn't it a relief to learn they regenerate) to the circle. And then I start the chant.

"Let silver and steel be the essence.
Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation
Let black, the colour I pay tribute to
Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall
Let the four cardinal gates close.
Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate.

I hereby declare.
Your body shall serve under me.
My fate shall be your sword.
Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail
If you will submit to this will and this reason…Then answer!

An oath shall be sworn here!
I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven.
I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell!

From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three greet words of power,
Come forth from the ring of restraints,
Protector of the Holy Balance!"

Then, that particular tongue-twister of a chant complete, I bend over panting for breath.

"Good show!" Da Vinci claps. "But you'll have to start over, the chant needs to be repeated three times without breaks."

"WHAT!"

"I kid, I kid, you don't actually have to bother with the chant at all. I just thought it would be funny to make you do it."

"Hate you. Hate you so much." I flip her the bird. She just laughs.

"Alright, fire it up, Marjani!"

The silvery glow shines forth as the rings begin to circle. Once, twice, three times, and-

He appears in the final flash of light. I focus, and see his stats before my eyes.

"Welcome to Chaldea, Caster."

"Glad to be here kid." He grins, then looks about irritably. "And you couldn't have summoned me as a Lancer?"

"Not in my wheelhouse. Just luck of the draw, really." I smile. "But I'm glad to have you here. Regardless of what Class Container you're in."

"Hey, don't get sappy on me, kid." He looks around. "So, where's that Director chick?"

"Director Olga-Marie... didn't make it." That kills my smile. "Come on. I'll show you around."

---​

And so, the first week of the Grand Order passes mostly uneventfully. Aside from the summonings, of course. Our first act of time piracy (I don't care if Roman glares at me when I call it that, it makes what we're planning to do sound cool, and less like a soul-crushing act motivated by brutal necessity) is still in the planning phase, but the mechanism to mass Rayshift goods and resources in from the Singularities has been ironed out. We'll most liekely make our next raid next week. In the meantime, I plan, strategize, and familiarize myself with Servants new and old. And work out how to stop them if they go rogue. Never before have I so empathized with Batman.

As to the summonings...

---​

"Servant Rider, True Name Georgios. I look forward to defending humanity at your side."

"An honor to meet you, Saint George. I am equally honored to fight besides you."

---​

"Servant Lancer, True Name Vlad Dracula Tepes! My spears yearn for the blood of the wicked!"

Oh boy. "Splendid. Welcome to the team." Well, at least he probably won't object to my more extreme strategies, and- How the fuck is he LAWFUL GOOD?

---​

"Servant Assassin, True Name Hassan-I-Sabbah of the Cursed Arm. Command me, and I will serve."

"An honor to meet you, Old Man of the Mountain. I hope our partnership will be fruitful."

---​

"Servant Assassin, True Name Sasaki Kojirou. I'm not much of a Servant, but I will do my best."

"I have no idea who you are, but I'm willing to learn. Welcome to the team." And time to grab those materials on Japanese mythology and heroic figures from Chaldea's library.

---​

The rings spin, and reveals the glowing outline of a figure that immediately vanishes, glowing sparks dissipating through the air.

"For fuck's sake. Marjani, get on the intercom, call Da Vinci."

A few rings later, "Charlie, good to hear from you. Is there a problem?"

"One of the Servants died the minute we summoned them. Also, the broom closet we stick the useless junk in is starting to get full, but mostly the whole instantly dying Servant thing."

"Let me check the Summon Logs. Oh, there we go."

"What?"

"You summoned Hundred Faces again. To prevent redundancy, the system integrated the new copy into the already existing version."

"Would that restock their Zabaniya?"

"Almost certainly."

"Well, alright, then. Sorry to bother you."

"Always happy to help!"

I nod to Marjani, and she ends the call.

"Right, next summon."

The engines whirl and-

"Black keys. Hooray."

---​

All in all, a productive week.

 

I stride out into the briefing room, in front of an audience of Servants.

"Ladies. Gentlemen. Hundred Face. Thank you for coming." I look around. Hundred Face seems to have taken my inability to discern their gender identity in good humor, and the rest of the Servants are still patiently listening. That probably won't last when we get to the meat of the briefing. Although Tamamo already looks bored. She's even more ADHD than me, I swear. "Chaldea has a problem."

The Powerpoint starts up behind me, displaying a line graph.

"This is the projected lifespan of our food supplies. As you can see," I point to the X-axis. "they will run out in less than a month. Normally, Chaldea keeps a sizeable surplus of food on hand in case the regular resupply flight can't make it. However, Lev knew where we stored our food, and, as a result, firebombed it. What we have left is what little we can salvage. Even with only twenty-five staff members at hand, and strict rationing implemented, we can only stretch it out to three weeks before starvation sets in. Growing our food isn't an option, either. We're in Antarctica, so the outdoor climate won't support plant growth, and an indoor greenhouse is unfeasible with our current limited resources and manpower."

Faces are falling. I imagine that Dr. Roman's briefing for the staff is a bit less focused on the problems we face and more on the solutions, but when one is convincing legendary heroes to go against their natures, one must first impress the dire necessity of doing so upon them.

"Further, the rest of our resources aren't doing much better. We don't even have enough materials to repair the damage from Lev's attack, much less improve our infrastructure. And our mana engines need materials we don't have if we're to summon more servants."

My audience members are now all looking at me, either with considering eyes or steely determination. Surprisingly, Tamamo is in the former category.

"I'm no doomsayer. We have a solution, but I don't doubt that some of you will find it morally repugnant." I tap the screen, and the Powerpoint shifts to the next slide, an image taken of Chaldeas. "You're well aware of the Seven Singularities, one of which we've already resolved. What you might not know about are these." I point to the smaller distortions on the screen. "We're calling them micro-Singularities. Short lived aberrations of history that spring up and resolve themselves entirely on their own. This one," I point to today's target. "is in Dover, in the year 534 AD. It'll collapse on itself within twenty-four hours. Before it does so, an away team from Chaldea will Rayshift in and seize whatever food and resources they can, by force if necessary." Several of the Servants look disgusted and horrified. "I know. It's not very noble of us. And I realize that it's not exactly something any of you want to do. If you want to opt out, you can do so at any time, and I won't hold it against you. But know that we wouldn't be going through with this plan if it wasn't both the only option available to us, and our best chance for completing the Grand Order. We're not exactly thrilled with this either."

I pause, to let them voice their objections if they have them.

Georgios stands. "I will not be party to this. However..." and almost seems to pain him to say it, "I will not oppose you."

"I understand."

I look around as Georgios leaves. None of the others get up to go, although Tamamo looks concerned and Kojirou looks physically pained at the thought of resorting to robbery like a common bandit.

"All right then. I can't bring all of you with me on the deployment, so here's our team composition." I can bring six Servants, even if I can only sustain three in active combat. "Hundred Faces, you're our numbers. I'm not going to lie, most of your part will be manual labor." They nod. "Vlad, Cursed Arm, you're there for intimidation. If we can keep them cowed through fear, nobody will have to get hurt." They both nod with varying degrees of enthusiasm. "Cu, you're there to deal with hostile magecraft and set up the mass Rayshifting circle. Mostly because I'm a terrible mage." He chuckles. That's five, counting Mash. Room for one more. Either Tamamo or Kojirou. Tamamo'd be the obvious choice for this role, but she'd be utterly miserable on this mission. For all her ditziness, she's a good person. Kojirou, however... "Kojirou. You'll be perimeter defense. You intercept any armed response or aid attempts. Given the era, it's possible that we'll be opposed by at least one Knight of the Round Table. If that's the case, I'll need you to hold them off." There. The potential for an honorable match against worthy opponents. Should keep him happy.

"All right then. We deploy at noon, so be in the Rayshift Chamber by eleven thirty. Briefing over." I leave, Mash following me.

"Are you okay with this?" I ask as we make our way to the chamber. "I know I didn't mention you, but I assumed you'd be with me."

"Y-Yes, Senpai!" She's not sounding too convincing. "It's just... I really don't like this mission. It feels wrong."

"Yeah. I know." I let my shoulders slump for a moment. And then the Rayshift Chamber comes into sight, and I steel my spine once more.

Gravitas. It's showtime.

 

We appear in the Rayshift's flash of light.

"Right. First things first." Time to see if this actually works. 'Testing, One, Two, Three, can you hear me?'

'Yes, Senpai!' The others also send their affirmations.

"Right. The mental link will function as our comms. Use it to contact me if you encounter a problem." Nods all around. "Right then. Caster, set up that Rayshift array. Assassin," all three of them look at me. Okay then. "Kojirou, move out and search for threats. Hassans, Lancer, Shielder, you're with me."

Nods all around as I set out towards the village.

I enter at the head of a veritable small army of Assassins, with Lancer at my left hand and Mash at my right. Right then, time to put on a show.

"Good people of Dover!" I exclaim, spreading my arms wide. "We come in war!"

The crowd of curious, somewhat smelly onlookers all freeze.

"Fortunately, we're not hard folk to appease. We'll be leaving you your coin and your lives in exchange for your resources. One-half of your food, and all your metal, cloth, and alcohol!" After a week of having to keep Cu Chulainn happy, the bar's almost dry.

There's an awkward silence. Finally, someone in the robes of the clergy makes his way to the front of the crowd.

"Nomen mihi est Marcus. Ego sum sacerdos illorum bonorum hominum. Quo tu es et quod cupidas?"

I frown. He's trying Latin because... Oh of course. Obviously they don't understand me. They're Britons! They speak Medieval Welsh. I must sound like I'm spewing gibberish at them. Worse, vaguely Anglo-Saxon gibberish. And he's trying Latin because he thinks I might understand the more common tongue.

Admittedly, he was right, but I'm only good at reading Latin. A conversation spoken entirely in it is well beyond me.

"Vlad, Servants can speak any language, right?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm going to need you to play translator for me. Repeat what I told them, but in their language."

As he does so, I discretely tap my earpiece. "Roman."

"Yeah?"

"Can you translate the local language for me?"

"Yes. I'll feed them to you through your earpiece.

"Thanks."

Lowering my hand, I turn to look at the townspeople, who are now chattering among themselves worriedly.

I clap my hands together. "Well, get on with it!" Vlad repeats it in an entirely different language, one with a frankly ungodly amount of "y"s.

Some scatter to comply with our demands, but one strapping young lad, moved either by stupidity or courage, shouts out something I presume to be insulting and chucks a rock at me. Mash's shield intercepts it, but the damage is done. If I let that go unpunished, they'll be emboldened. "Vlad, break the rock-thrower's legs."

He starts to translate before what I said registers. Then, with a bloodthirsty grin, he does as ordered.

"Spikes through the kneecaps? Really?"

"Do you have an issue with my methods, Master?"

"It's overkill. You could have just gone over a snapped them with a kick. Now you've crippled him for life, our extortees hate us for crippling one of our own, and I'm pretty sure that they think you're some kind of witch."

"But they fear us all the more."

"'On the whole, I find that if one must choose between being feared and loved, it is better to be feared than loved. But one must be careful when garnering fear not to do so in a manner that attracts hatred, for men will endure great hardship in order to bring about the ruin of someone they hate.' Niccolo Macchiavelli. The Prince."

"It sounds like an interesting book," Vlad comments after a brief pause.

"We probably have it at Chaldea. You should try reading it."

"I might just do that."

Right. Vlad's more vicious tendencies have been tempered. The others? The Assassins are fine, mildly annoyed at worst. Mash looks like she's about to throw up.

"Vlad, translate this: We'll treat his wounds once our demands are met. Bring the material to the town square, and we'll take it the rest of the way to our camp. I'd recommend you hurry. I doubt he has long."

Now that sends them scurrying. Alright, remote check-in.

'Cu, is the circle established?'

'Yeah. Set up a few Wicker Golems to guard the whole thing.'

'Good. We need you to head to town. Vlad kneecapped a kid, and we promised to heal him if our demands are met'

I get a faint sense of disapproval, and a resigned 'On my way.'

Right then. 'Kojirou?'

'Yes Master?'

'Anything to report?'

'I have encountered a wyvern.'

'What?'

'A wyvern. I challenged it to a duel. Its form was lacking.'

I have no idea how to respond to that. Might be time to reevaluate my assessment of Kojirou as one of the saner Servants.

'Okay then. Anything else?'

'Sir Gareth of the Round Table is currently headed towards Dover, accompanied his brother Agravaine. From their conversation I have inferred that they are Servant versions of the knights in question, traveling between the various singularities in order to carry out their duty to their king. Should I engage?'

Fuck. 'Yes.'

"Two knights of the Round Table inbound. Hundred Face, spread out and supervise the villagers, make sure they don't dawdle. We need to get out of here fast."

"Master, I don't want to fight Knights of the Round Table." Mash looks honestly distressed.

"God willing, we won't have to."

'Master. I am being pushed back.'

'HOW?'

'They are mounted on horseback. Versatile as my fighting style may be, fighting cavalry with a sword is still nigh-impossible.' I get an impression of sudden exertion. 'And now my katana is broken.'

'Dare I ask?'

'I attempted to block Sir Gareth's lance. His lance is apparently a Noble Phantasm, and he hit the flat of my blade. I'm afraid I must retreat to your position.'

'Sonnuva- Fine.'

"Okay, Knights inbound."

"What?" Mash yelps.

"Knights inbound. Kojirou's delaying action failed. Vlad, they're mounted, prepare to use Kezliki Bey to take out their horses. Cursed Arm, same goes for your daggers. When targeting the knights, aim to cripple, not kill. They're heroes, after all, and the world's better off with them in it."

'Caster? How far out are you?'

'A minute away.'

'Good. Knights of the Round Table inbound.'

I feel the spike of bloodlust through the link.

Well, at least he's happy.

'Hundred Face, change of plans. fill up as many satchels as you can with the materials, and ferry them to the Rayshift Matrix. Knights of the Round incoming.'

They affirm that they understand.

Now, all that remains is to await the arrival of our enemies. Mash is shaking with... something. No idea what.

"Mash. It's okay to be afraid."

"Senpai, I'm not afraid." she shakes her head. "I feel... ashamed. And embarrassed. And I don't know why."

Before I can ask for clarification, I hear hoofbeats.

"Master." Kojirou looks worse for the wear. "They are some ways away. They pursued me most vigorously, but stopped when a villager broke cover and approached them."

Gaddammit. An escapee? I should have accounted for that.

The hoofbeats are getting closer, and Mash looks like she wants to just curl up into a ball and die. Why would she- Ah. Her "body-buddy" is a Knight of the Round Table. The thought of their peers seeing them do this must be causing them so much distress it's bleeding over into Mash. That would be hilarious, if it wasn't likely to get me killed.

Finally, the two ride into sight. A young, slightly effeminate looking man in some extremely anachronistic full plate, his visor raised to reveal his boyish face, and a far larger figure in black armor, his visor down over his face.

"Brother Agravain! Look! The bandits!" Gareth's eyes fall upon the only lightly-bandaged youth behind us, and harden. I also look back. Shit, did he bleed out? "Surrender, villains. Cast down your arms, and face the King's judgement, and you may yet live. Fail to do so, and we'll have you heads!"

"Afraid we can't do that, Sir Gareth," I call back. "We serve a higher purpose in this matter, and must assuage needs far more desperate than theirs."

"Then have at thee!" he calls, and my God, his voice is high-pitched. "Come on, Agravain! Agravain?"

But Agravain is just staring intently at Mash.

"Hellooo Agravain?" Gareth waves a hand past his brother's eyes.

"For a moment, there, I mistook you for my son," Agravain growls, his voice thick with rage, his eyes never leaving Mash, whose expression of embarrassed dread has shifted to outright panic.

"I have a nephew?" Gareth seems overjoyed at the prospect. "Also, of course she's not your son! That's clearly a lass! Do you need your eyes checked?"

"But my son would never engage in acts so base and vile." Agravain (although I'm beginning to doubt that it's actually him) growls, black smoke beginning to leak from his armor's joints. "Never would my son turn his shield against the innocent, or turn to banditry for worldly gain! So tell me, wench. How came you by my boy's arms and armor? Tell me true, and I'll only kill you quick for defiling my son's memory!"

"Arms and armor? But that's-" Gareth looks at Mash, perplexed, before looking back at his travelling companion with realization dawning in his eyes. "Sir Lancelot?"

Three things happen in that moment. First, I realize exactly who Mash is currently sharing her body with. Second, Mash reverts back to her human form, curled up into a little ball of acute embarrassment.

Thirdly, Sir freaking Lancelot charges at us with sword in hand, screaming bloody murder.

 

Lancelot roars as he lunges towards Mash, before Vlad just barely manages to intercept him. This interception rapidly proves itself monumentally unhelpful, as Lancer's Agility is quite evidently far lower than the berserk knight's. He's sent flying and Lancelot once more turns his attention to Mash.

"Hey!" Those mad, bloodshot eyes turn towards me. "Leave her alone! I was the one who gave her Galahad's gear!" Blatant lies. But those were always my forte. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mash convulse.

"GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" And black-armored-death flies towards me.

"No!" And there's Mash. Saving my life once again. Her armor's back in place, her Servant form's active, and her shield's between me and Lancelot. Knew I could count on her.

Shield and sword crash against each other, a furious dance of death. And Mash seems... better. Her every movement more efficient, as if her style had been suddenly refined.

But she still can't hold out forever. And against an opponent of Lancelot's caliber, we can't hold back.

"Cursed Arm! By the power of my Command Seal, take his heart!"

The bound arm unfurls. Fingers like claws pierce armor. And a knight without equal perishes.

"No!" Mash screams it at the same time as Gareth. Spurred from his shock at his companion's furious charge and vengeful demeanor, the young knight kicks his horse into a gallop, lance at the ready. And is sent flying when Vald's Kezliki Bey springs up beneath his horse. Undeterred, he rises, eyes brimming with grief and anger, spear in hand. Cursed Arm's daggers catch him at the knees.

Gareth still struggles to rise. The next two daggers catch him in the arms instead. I consider making a Monty Python reference, but figure it would be in poor taste.

And still, he glares at me, howling bloody murder as he tries to stand and kill us all.

"Assassin. Finish it."

The dagger takes him in the throat.

As I watch the body dissolve, I remind myself of the stakes.

It still doesn't help.

Mash didn't move for the entirety of Gareth's single-minded charge. She's still staring at where Lancelot's body fell, even though it's long since dissipated.

Right. Her kinda-father did just die in front of her. She'll need a soft touch.

"I'm sorry, Mash." And suddenly, there's a hand around my throat, cutting off my oxygen and lifting me into the air.

"Do not speak to me, worm." And suddenly, violet eyes stare into mine with complete and utter loathing. Mash. Mash is the one choking me right now, With one hand, even. Didn't think she had it in her. She has very small hands. And I have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge throat. I think the oxygen deprivation might be getting to me.

And then, with a casual toss, she casts me aside, stalking away without even acknowledging the stakes and daggers both Assassin and Lancer are pointing her way.

"Finish your little excursion in banditry on your own. Doctor, Rayshift me out."

"A-all right." Roman seems about as taken aback as I do. In a flash of light, she disappears.

"Right. What did I miss?" Caster sprints in, panting. "Wait, is that a dead horse?"

"Just... wrap up, and get ready to go."

 

"So. What brings you to my humble bar?" Cu asks, polishing a glass. The kegs of beer we stole from the brewery at Dover rest on the shelves behind him.

I look up at him. I'd been a bit surprised when he offered to tend the bar, but, with the original barkeep dead in one of the explosions, there was no one else who volunteered.

"I fucked up."

"Do tell."

"After we got back, I tried to talk to her."

"Didn't pan out?"

"No. In fact, she slammed the door on my foot. And then she told me what happened."

"And?"

"Mash is... she wasn't supposed to be told his name. Apparently, he kept his name and full power from her so she wouldn't be subsumed by his personality."

"And 'he' is?"

"Galahad. The Servant that fused with her."

"Huh."

"He's a bit of an ass, not gonna lie, but I did kill his father in front of him a few hours ago."

"Fair reason to hate someone, I suppose."

"Yeah. Anyways, now they're all tangled up together. No one identity really holding dominance. When she's in Servant form, she's mostly Galahad. When she's not, she's mostly Mash."

"Sounds awkward."

"It is. According to Roman, they'll eventually merge, with Galahad as the dominant personality." I slump down. "So now, Mash is basically a dead woman walking. Roman's with her now. She doesn't want to see me, mostly because Galahad despises me with a fiery passion."

Cu regards me for a moment, and then pours me a glass.

"Thanks."

"It's my job."

"So. Is this my fault? I can't think of anything I specifically did, but-"

"Nah."

"Nah?"

"You made the best shots you could with what you knew. It's all anyone can do, really. Sometimes it pans out alright, sometimes it doesn't. Only real bad call you made was bringing Mash when she was clearly uncomfortable with it."

"Thanks, Cu."

"It's what I do. So, you paying for that drink or what?"

"Since when do you need money?"

"Touché."

 

"Hey, Doc." I greet Roman as I walk into the Command Room. "How's she doing?"

He sighs. "Da Vinci's working on a way to keep her from being subsumed by Galahad. But for now, any use of her Demi-Servant abilities will just speed things up. You'll have to go through the next Singularity without her."

"Fine. I just hope she gets better soon." I look up at Chaldeas. "So. Has the second Singularity finally been located?"

"Yes. France, 1431. Not sure what's going on inside it. It actually takes up some of the same area as another singularity."

"How?"

"They occupy different times. The Third Singularity stretches all over Europe. We haven't pinpointed its era, yet, but we think it has something to do with Ancient Rome."

"Really?" Don't squee, don't squee, don't squee. "Guess I'll have to polish up my Latin, then."

"Yyyeah. So, are you able to deploy tomorrow?"

"I'll assemble my team."

"Good. Swing by the Summoning Chamber. They used the wyvern corpses Kojirou brought back to upgrade the mana generators."

"Oh. Yeah. Did he manage to replace his katana?"

"Turns out that you summoned a few Monohoshizao copies and chucked them in the broom closet. You should really put up a sign, by the way. The janitor nearly died when he tried opening it."

"Will do."

---​

Right then. One last round of summoning before I brief my team and pick who's coming with me.

"Caster Servant Xuanzang Sanzang! Let's save the world together, Master!"

"From Journey to the West, right?" Goddammit, I summoned the kidnaping magnet. Couldn't get Sun Wukong, no, instead I got Captain Useless, over here. Her stats are actually pretty good, though. "No offense, but I thought you were, well, male."

"Nope!" She smiles, and... I'm not getting any more explanation than that, am I?

"Right then. Marjani! Fire it up!"

She complies, and-

Another servant! Capital! They materialize from the whirling rings, and then promptly dissolve. "Marjani, intercom."

"On it."

A single buzz later, and Da Vinci's on the line."We got another repeat summon. Could you figure out who it was?"

"Sure!"

"Is that the worm? Tell him to go fuck himself!"

"Sorry, I was doing a checkup on Galahad. Looks like you summoned Xuanzang Sanzang twice in a row! Congratulations!"

"Right. Thanks." I turn to regard the Buddhist monk- Or, nun, I suppose. No appreciable change I can see.

"You don't have to stick around for this."

"I think I'm going to make you my disciple!"

"That's nice Now, shoo."

She pouts at me, but eventually complies. Probably shouldn't have been so rude, but being reminded of Galahad ticked me off something fierce.

"Right." Deep breath. "Marjani. Fire it up."

---​

"Tawara Touta. Archer. I look forward to working with you."

"Likewise. Alright, that's the last one today. Time to head to the briefing room. Marjani, hunt down Caster and tell her where to go." Hopefully she hasn't gotten herself kidnapped yet.

Time to prep for our next mission. Hopefully we'll have less casualties on this one than we did on... all of the others, now that I think of it.

Welp. We're boned.

 

I look out at the six servants who'll be joining me for the Singularity: Vlad, Kojirou, Xuanzang, Geogios, Tamamo, and Cursed Arm.

"Alright, most of you are aware of the unholy clusterfuck our last deployment turned into. Incidentally, that is the reason Mash will not be joining us on this one."

Xuanzang looks confused, but the others nod.

"We're deploying in the second of the seven observed Singularities: Centered on France in the Year of Our Lord 1431, it will be the first great trial of the Chaldea organization. It's time to definitively prove that we can save history, and all of humanity. Your roles will be varied. Tamamo, Vlad, you're our primary attackers. Kojirou, you're more of an irregular. Xuanzang, you'll be using your Territory Creation to set up and defend a home base from which we can operate. Cursed Arm, you're our scout. Lastly, Georgios, in Mash's absence, you will be serving as my bodyguard."

Each of them acknowledges their roles.

"Good. Today, our mission is just. We do the work this organization was founded to do. We will not fail."

That gets a few grins. Good.

"Meet in the Rayshift Room tomorrow at 0900. Dismissed."

More than enough time for me to pay Cu another visit. I have no idea how Ireland's greatest hero became my go-to sympathetic ear, but he's damn good at it.

 

I spend the rest of the day reading up on the era we're heading into, and discussing it with Cu. It's not really his cup of tea, but he's a good sport about it all the same, and he actually does enjoy my descriptions of the various battles. His only complaint is that I'm not bringing him, but I promise to bring him on the next deployment I go on.

But at last, with my eyes exhausted and my voice sore, I return to my room and fall asleep.

The morning is a blur of showering (Da Vinci still hasn't fixed the hot water, so that leaves me considerably more awake,) brushing my teeth, and grabbing a quick breakfast before I'm off to the Rayshift Room.

"Morning, all." I call in greeting as I stroll in, mostly awake.

The Servants are all there, looking bright and peppy as ever. Consequence of legendary heroism, or healthy sleep habits? Hell if I know. The Rayshift staff are all present to see us off, each bristling with the characteristic pep and vigor of morning people, for which I hate them instantly, and Roman's come to see us off, flanked by Da Vinci and... Mash.

"Charlie." Roman calls out, looking at me with bleary eyes as he sips at a mug of coffee. "Take care, all right?"

"Will do, Doc. See you once the mission's done."

"Don't forget to bring back plenty of samples!" Da Vinci demands cheerily, fiddling with the controls.

"Will do."

"Senpai." Mash interrupts. I mostly contain my wince as I turn around to face her.

"Hey, Mash." I force myself to look her in the eye. She doesn't deserve to be hurt by my guilt. "Thought you were keeping your distance from me?" Shit, probably not the best thing to say.

She looks down. "I was, but... I wanted to see you off, Senpai. And..." she hesitates, but soldiers on. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry I can't be there to look after you."

"It's fine. I'll just have to manage." I give her a grin. A patently false one, but I always was a good liar. "You just focus on getting better, okay?"

"It is most certainly not fine, worm. My shield and the added durability our contract granted you were the only thing that kept you alive in our past engagements in spite of your woeful incompetence." she snarls out, her every word dripping with vitriol. After a moment, she seems to realize what she said. "Oh. Senpai, I'm sorry-"

"It's fine. Just... Get well soon, alright? I don't think I can make it through more than one of these without you."

She smiles in response to that, and I manfully resist the urge to pat her on the head. Not just because of propriety, but also because Galahad might break my arm if I tried.

We part, with her going up to the command deck, and me going down to my Klein Coffin. The techs are avoiding my gaze. Roman just looks sad, and while I can't read most of the Servants' expressions, Xuanzang, Georgios, and Tamamo are all looking at me with outright sympathy. To be honest, I think that just makes me feel worse.

"Initializing Rayshift."

No time for hurting. It's showtime. Gravitas, Charlie, gravitas.

And as the light consumes me, I set aside my pain.

 

We arrive upon a grassy hill.

"Roman. Location?" He appears in his glowing, holographic form.

"You've arrived in the Singularity safely, alright. Looks like you're in Jeanne D'Arc's hometown, the village of Domremy."

"Alright. How do we set up a link to Chaldea?"

It was covered in the briefing. If we wanted a way to potentially summon Servants, and guaranteed, stable communications, we'd need to set up on a leyline. Unfortunately, our previous method of doing so was dependent on Mash's presence.

"Caster has the focus. Da Vinci assures me that she is capable of setting up the link on her own." I look at Caster, who nods in confirmation. Actually, now that I think about it...

I look around at all my Servants. I don't really know any of them as well as I should. I summoned Caster yesterday, and I don't think I've said more than five sentences to her in all that time. I know their stats, and I know their legends, but I don't really know them as people. I need to take the time to fix that on this deployment. Not knowing my coworkers that well makes me look like an asshole. Not knowing my Servants that well can get me killed.

"Understood." I look around more seriously. Tactics time. "All right. First things first, operational security. No casual use of your true names. I will be referring to you by your class titles. The same applies to any allies we meet. Servants of the same Class will be differentiated through the use of situationally appropriate adjectives. Please note that the no-true-names rule does not apply to our enemies. If you find out their True Names, use 'em as much as you want."

Cursed Arm and Kojirou both raise their hands.

"Hassan-I-Sabbah will be referred to by his title. His distinguishing cognomen will be, of course, omitted." I turn to look at Cursed Arm. "Your order is well known, but the obscurity of your individual abilities and accomplishments means they won't be getting any more out of hearing me call you 'Hassan' than they would out of hearing me call you 'Assassin.' At least so far as I understand it. Is this acceptable?"

He lowers his hand, then nods.

"Good. Is everyone satisfied? Any objections? Any clarifications needed?"

"Why are we doing this?" Tamamo asks, tilting her head. "I mean, you're kind of sifting grain with a thimble hear."

Pausing to try and decipher that metaphor, (great effort for small gain,) I answer her as best I can. "Because, setting aside the tactical advantage they would gain if they knew your capabilities, all Servants, by their very nature, died. Knowing how that happened can allow them to increase their chances of successfully killing you, or identify your weaknesses, or even allow them to manipulate you with what they know from your legends. The greatest heroes can easily be brought down by trickery and betrayal, just look at Hercules. I'd rather avoid giving my enemies your weaknesses, if I can avoid it."

Nods all around. Admittedly, they're mostly anti-hero types, who were beaten by plain old-fashioned bad luck and people turning against them, but the risks are still there, and it's a good habit to get into.

"With that resolved, Hassan, head out and scout. The rest of you, get ready to move once he's done with that. Rider, you'll be summoning Bayard. I can't move as fast as the rest of you, and I'd rather not slow you all down."

Hassan vanishes. Alright, what else. Oh!

"Rider, you'll be my go-to translator for this mission. I can't speak French, although Roman will be translating what the locals say while I'm here, and my English is quite literally centuries ahead of its time."

"I will endeavor to fulfill this duty to the best of my abilities," he pronounces solemnly. Excellent. My main translator is the Lawful Good, chivalrous knight who's also a Catholic Saint. Honestly, he was flat-out the best option in the entire team. Tamamo's crazy, Vlad's almost as crazy, Hassan looks like he eats babies, Kojirou's obviously a foreigner, and Xuanzang is both a foreigner and a scantily dressed woman. None of them would really have much in the way of social cachet with the locals.

We spend a few more moments in silence, before Hassan contacts me.

'Master. I have found a squad of French soldiers. They appear to almost all be sporting minor wounds, and are all highly fatigued.'

'Do you believe they'd be open to parley?'

'Perhaps.'

'Remain hidden. We will approach to negotiate.'

"Rider. Hassan found a small division of French soldiers. We're going to negotiate, and try to figure out what the Hell's going on. I'll play your foreign squire that doesn't speak the language, and feed you lines through the mental link if need be."

"Alright, then."

I look back.

"The rest of you, hang back. We'll pass you of as his entourage. When I call you in, join us. Don't say much, try to act foreign. Lancer, you're an evil knight he defeated and spared, serving him as a squire." I forestall his protests with a look. "I know, I know, but your armor is too sinister-looking for anything else to be believable. Berserker, Caster, you're princesses from some foreign land, put on some actual clothes, you're probably not getting any lines. Assassin, you're their bodyguard. Look stern and mysterious." Our cover stories sorted out, I turn to Georgios, who's looking at me with barely-concealed amusement. "Alright, let's go."

Actually... I pause. "Roman? Any objections? Ready to feed me translations?"

"No objections. And um... translator program's up and running."

"Everything all right?"

"It's fine. Something you said must have set Da Vinci off, because she's laughing like crazy. And Mash is grumbling about something."

"Good for them. Rider. Summon Bayard. Let's get this show on the road."

He grins. "To me! BAYARD!"

The legendary horse materializes from the aether. And he's beautiful. His chest is almost as broad as my arm is long, his coat is a rich chestnut shade, and his great eyes have both an overbearing nobility and piercing intelligence in their gaze. Georgios hops on, and then gives me a hand up. I take it, and we're off.

--- ​

"Hold, good men! I come to ask thy intent and the name of thy liege!" Georgios delivers the line with great gusto. I think he might be having as much fun as I am right now.

"We're soldiers in the army of France!" one of them, presumably their commanding officer, calls back after a brief pause to process the sight. I dismounted to walk besides Bayard before we came into view. Wouldn't do to have the ignorant foreign squire riding up besides his knightly master, now would it? "What flag do you fly, Sir Knight? We apologize if we have offended you, Sir. In the recent turmoil, we have had little chance to remember which lord we served. Indeed, our command structure has been left decimated. We know not our king's name, for the last was slain and his heir's unknown. In truth, we know but one monarch these days, and her name is France!" The last draws a great cheer from his men. Nationalism may be half-born at best, but it's starting to get there, apparently.

"Alas, I am forbidden to name my homeland," Georgios announces, and my respect for him rises exponentially. He's actually saying the lines I'm feeding him with a straight face! "For I am banished, cast out and denied both my name and that of my homeland until I have atoned for my great crime with a thousand deeds of knightly merit! Though I would have endured a hundred times that dishonor had I been permitted to stay within the sight of my dearest lady love! But hark! What dire peril assails your country-queen, that kings should perish, and good armsmen not know their lords?"

This confuses them enough that the soldiers drop into a brief huddle.

'We didn't actually talk like that, you know,' George sends mentally. 'And I was a Roman equestrian. Not a knight.'

'True. But thanks to all the chivalric romances, they think that heroic knights talk like that. Not one lick of historical fidelity in those things, either. Besides, if crazy stuff is really going down, they'll be most comforted and accepting of somebody who ticks off alltheir boxes of what a hero should look and act like, even if they logically know it makes no sense.' I look at him askance. 'And don't tell me you're not enjoying this.'

'Fair enough.'

"Indeed, Sir Knight. Our country is in dire peril. Our greatest hero and savior, Jeanne D'Arc, has risen from the dead, filled with the dark arts of the Devil. Her sorceries have filled the skies with foul dragons, and she has slain the king and the clergy alike to slake her bloodlust. We have resisted her forces, but she calls forth demons to strike us down, and dragons to rend our flesh. Perhaps, with your help, we may yet prevail, and save our dearest homeland. Will you join us at our fort?" He's confused, not quite believing what he's seeing, but hopeful. I feed Georgios his lines as I begin to process this.

"Gadzooks!" he exclaims, face alight with not-entirely feigned shock. "Truly, the Enemy of All Godly Men has worked a great evil against you! My heart weeps for the suffering of your people, but still my soul rejoices! For by my strong sword-arm, and Holy Lord on High, when I have finished my business in this domain, there shall be one less wickedness in the world, and I shall see my lady all the sooner!" The soldiers begin to cheer, and their captain cracks a smile.

"Are there any others in your entourage?" the captain asks.

"Yes! Beyond my fool of a squire Charles," he raps me on the head. "English, you know, can hardly blame him for being a lackwit," this gets an appreciative chuckle or two from the audience. "I have gathered a rather odd collection as I went."

I give the signal, and they come out of the brush. Tamamo's manage to scrounge together a pair of pants, and a shirt which actually covers her chest. Xuanzang, on the other hand, scraped together a dress. Vlad and Kojirou, for their part, remain much as they are.

And for names... fuck it, ripping off Orlando Furioso. Pretty sure it hasn't been published yet.

"First is the dread tyrant, Rodomonte, a wicked sorcerer king! I toppled him from his throne, and in exchange for his life, he swore to serve me." Vlad only looks slightly irritated. "In like manner stands Lady Marfisa. She is sworn to wed any man who has bested her in combat, but though I overcame her in a great clash of arms, I could not be wed to her, for my heart shall now and forevermore belong to my truest lady love, fairest Melissa, whose eyes gleam bright as stars!" Tamamo looks like she trying her hardest not to laugh. "And to round out our noble group, the final two are Lady Angelica and her bother, Sir Argalia, on whose errand I was travelling." Kojirou and Xuanzang look at each other in silent bafflement. "For their wicked uncle, Mandricardo, has, by his foul sorceries, cast them out from their home, and most grievously bewitched their father. It was to right this great wrong that I passed through your fair country, but seeing the great peril which afflicts thee, what knight worth his spurs could turn his back upon thy plight?"

The commander looks somewhat skeptical, but the men lap it up. And so, with the soldiers swarming about us to ask questions and marvel at the extraordinary foreigners, we are escorted back to the fort.

'Told you it would work.'

'Indeed, Master. I shall never again underestimate your propensity for tale-telling.'

'And I will never again underestimate your acting skills. That was legitimately impressive.'

The celebratory air vanished, of course, when we saw the wyverns.

 

Okay, army of wyverns attacking our destination. That's bad, but not unmanageable.

'Keep up your cover stories, but do your best to defend the fort. I'm pretty sure that there were exactly zero wyverns in the real Hundred Years War, and we need to- '

The wind shifts, and feel it ruffle my hair as it blows against my back, carrying our scent on to the fort.

And as one, every single Wyvern turns its head our way, nostrils flaring and jagged jaws wide and drooling.

'Oh, what the actual fuck.'

They abandon their assault on the fort in order to launch themselves at us in black-winged droves, their hungry roars melding into an ungodly cacophony.

How? Why? Wait- 'Xuanzang.'

'What?'

'This is your Captivating Rosy Cheeks Skill in action, isn't it? You're monster catnip. I can work with this.'

Rider smirks just a little as he gets the line I feed him. But he recites it anyways, keeping his face straight through it all. "They have smelled the fair princess Angelica!" Xuanzang looks blankly at him for a second before remembering that's supposed to be her. "No dragon, no matter how small and lowly, can ever truly turn away from the chance to eat a princess! Make ready! They shall be upon us within moments! Hide, squire, this is no fight for the likes of you!"

I comply posthaste, hiding in the brush, as the soldiers make ready to repel their aerial adversaries, and the Servants make their own preparations. Vlad merely crosses his arms and grins like a madman, crimson energy pooling about him like blood. Tamamo grins, and bares her claws. Kojirou draws his blade while Xuanzang hides behind him, and, unseen in the brush, Hassan readies himself to feed me intel on the enemy's movements.

And then they are upon us.

The waves come quickly, and all swiftly becomes a blur. For all my nominal status as commander, in truth I only catch the occasional glimpse of the fight through the brush. I simply bear witness, occasionally relaying messages from Hassan, while my Servants do what they do best, and fight.

The soldiers do their best, and even bring down one or two, but for all their labors, they are little more than cannon fodder compared to the Servants. Of my servants, I see only brief flashes: Vlad laughing as he turns another wyvern into giblets, pinning it down with his stakes before wade in to rip it apart with his taloned gauntlets. Tamamo using one wyvern as a meat shield against one of its attacking brethren, before ripping through her shield's body in order to take her attacker by surprise and disembowl him. Georgios riding through the panicked troops on Bayard, his very face calming them and bringing them to order and his every stroke of the sword killing a wyvern or saving a soldier's life. Kojirou, never moving an inch, yet somehow never even scratched as the wyvern corpses begin to pile up around him. And Xuanzang, screaming like a lunatic as she franticly bats away one of the wyverns with her staff.

At last, however, the battle is over. I ignore the burning of my circuits as I make my way back to Georgios' side.

The field is now glutted with wyvern corpses. I make a mental note to double back and have Xuanzang mass-Rayshift them up to Chaldea once we get the chance. They could be useful for something, after all. The blood of the huge beasts has flooded out from their wounds in great, bubbling streams, and seeped into the ground, leaving a thick, boiling black mud that his choked out the grass and left the once-temperate meadow feeling as absurdly hot and humid as a tropical rainforest. I can smell flesh cooking as the corpses of fallen soldiers begin to sink into the boiling, blood-soaked mud. I do my level best to avoid the bogs, and ignore the dying screams of mortally injured soldiers, left amidst the monster corpses by their comrades, to die alone.

I don't think I'll be sleeping all that well tonight.

Picking my way through the field of corpses, I find my Servants, along with the surviving few soldiers, all injured, arguing with a blonde woman in armor. Actually, before I rejoin them, I should probably take the opportunity to page Chaldea.

"Roman. Sitrep. How many dead soldiers, how did we do, who are they arguing with?"

"All but ten of the soldiers are either dead or irretrievable, and the site of the battle has been rendered uninhabitable by the wyverns, even in death."

"I noticed. Who are they arguing with?"

"Jeanne d'Arc."

Huh. Well at least something good happened today. I get to meet another saint!

 

"I am aware that you feel slandered, fair lady, but, all the same, these men have informed me that they hold you as their enemy, and as such I cannot rightly allow you near them in their current injured state. To do so would be to betray my word as a knight, and my honor as a man of God." Georgios informs the Saint of Orleans, as behind him Xuanzang chants sutras of healing over the wounded.

"I understand. But I am not the Dragon Witch." the surprisingly blonde saint calmly replies, her eyes sad as she surveys the carnage.

'Georgios, I have an idea.' I interject through the mental link as I make my way into the gathering of Servants and soldiers.

My loyal dragonslayer turns to look at me as I approach. "Charles? Fool of a squire, I half thought you dead! Next time you flee a fight, be prompter in thy return!" 'I'm listening, Master.'

I relay my plan to him, and he approves it. Honestly, I'm glad that I got the chance to work with him this Singularity. He and I get along extremely well, when we aren't at moral cross-purposes.

"Good soldiers of France! Now that the sacred prayers granted to Angelica by Our Savior have mended all thy wounds, we must part ways!"

The soldiers all go from eyeing Jeanne fearfully to begging Georgios not to go. He smiles gently at their pleas, but continues.

"You must return to your fort, but I am ever bound by no higher purpose than righteousness! You have identified this woman before me as the Dragon Witch, the cause of all thy county's misfortunes, though she denies it most fiercely! And so, I shall leave in her company, to watch her manner and her destination! If she be innocent, I shall spare her, and offer my most gracious apologies. If she be guilty, then my blade shall cleave her head from her shoulders, though I am loath to harm a woman!"

The soldiers, though despondent at their hero leaving them, cheer up immensely at the prospect of Jeanne d'Arc being decapitated. The woman herself just looks crestfallen.

With that decided, we part ways, the soldiers leaving for the fort, and the remainder of our group heading off, Jeanne d'Arc in tow, only to double back to the field of corpses.

'Xuanzang. Set up the Bounded Field.'

She complies, and, in a flash, the world around us turns grey.

What makes Xuanzang such an excellent Caster is her frankly absurd Territory Creation skill. She can set up a Bounded Field at the drop of a hat, and while I know jack shit about Magecraft, Roman has assured me that it's pretty impressive. And so, we turn to our reluctant companion, who stares back with a properly Stoic mien. While she did follow us here, it was quite apparent that she wasn't all that enthusiastic about the prospect.

"So. Jeanne d'Arc. Servant Ruler." I begin, setting aside the façade of the mute squire. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

 

"Chaldea, I presume?" the Saint replies, cool as ice. "The Lord spoke unto me and commanded me to await your arrival."

God exists. That's... I can't stop grinning as I toss out my words. "Are we really so obvious?"

"Most people actually bother making their cover stories believable. Furthermore, you match the description he gave to me."

God knows what I look like. I- That should not make me nearly this happy, but dammit, I can't stop smiling all the same.

"Well then, Jeanne d'Arc, I'll assume that you aren't the Dragon Witch for now." Dammit, don't get flustered. "Would you mind telling us about your experiences in this Singularity thus far?"

She does so. Apparently she was summoned in as a weaker version of herself, with her parameters reduced and her Ruler Skills nonexistent. She travelled the lands, finding only rumors of the Dragon Witch that killed Charles VII, and ruined towns.

"A dire state of affairs indeed." I comment. "We seek to resolve this Singularity. Will you stand by us?"

"Of course." She smiles, and I can't help but realize for a moment just how beautiful she is. "My homeland is in danger. How could I not help you save it?"

"Well, then. Welcome aboard." I look at the sky, which is steadily growing darker. "We'll have to break for the night. Tomorrow, we should head to a town to canvass for more information. Everyone in agreement?"

A chorus of yes's and a few abstentions are my answer.

"Good. Let's send these corpses on to Chaldea and then call it a night."

 

"So. La Charite."

"Yes?"

"Sounds like 'Charity' in English. Does it mean the same thing in French?" I'm not really all that curious, but it beats just sitting around in silence.

"Yes, actually." Now Jeanne turns to look at me. We're sitting on a hill with a view of the town, waiting while Hassan scouts ahead. Tamamo, Kojirou, and Xuanzang are playing some variant of Texas Hold 'em with a pack of cards they found on of the bodies, and Vlad is brooding in the woods. Georgios, for his part, is silently standing guard a few paces away as Jeanne and I keep an eye on the town.

"Weird thing to name a town after."

Jeanne frowns. "There's a priory of the same name in town. I think they might have named the town after the priory."

"You think?"

"I've only been there once, and I didn't stay long."

"Ah."

The awkward silence is reborn, a thousand times stronger! From a ways down the hill, I can hear the sounds of the game. Xuanzang's winning, with Sasaki coming in a close second. I notice something in the distance.

"That is one ugly bird." I point. Jeanne, who seems just as uncomfortable as I do, seizes onto the new subject with great abandon.

"What even is that?"

"I dunno. It's big, though." I narrow my eyes. Something seems of about- Legs. I can see legs. It turns, and I see its profile. Four legs, two wings. "That's a dragon."

I get to my feet, Jeanne rising beside me, the quiet all but forgotten.

"Muster up and be ready to move! Dragon sighted!"

Georgios is on his feet, Bayard called forth. The card game is swiftly ended, and the deck packed away. Vlad rushes back to the camp, a few leaves impaled on his spiked shoulderpads.

"We've spotted a full dragon inbound. And-" I look to check, and yep, there they are, blotting out the horizon. "A flock of wyverns. Looks like we've caught the Dragon Witch. We need to evacuate the townsfolk to a defensible position. I'll get Hassan to start an evacuation. Rider, Berserker, and Ruler, head out to meet the townspeople halfway. Guard them and make a fighting retreat back to our position. Xuanzang, set up the strongest Bounded Field you can, set to ward off Dragons. Lancer, Assassin, you're point defense. Dispose of any enemies who get too close. Everybody know their role?" Nods all around. "Then go!"

They spring into action.

'Hassan, get them to evacuate towards our position. There are dragons inbound.'

'Understood.'

My troops deployed, I set my eyes towards the oncoming dragons, hands clasped behind my back as I watch the battle begin.