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OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by OverMaster, Aug 27, 2018.

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  1. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    This follows on the recent special chapter I've just posted on FF.Net, and it kinda follows on my Anything that Burns crossover too.

    ---

    Cid Highwind was not the kind of man who would have a guest room in his house. This wasn’t a character trait Aerith Gainsborough, Cid’s much younger friend and occasional teammate, had ever minded much until the last few days, where she would have to share a room at Cid’s residence with several strays from the Old World, and in their sudden, recent absence, she was pretty much forced to remain there for the nights until their return. On the plus side, that at least meant she didn’t have to room with that Tsukuyomi… thing… anymore.

    On the minus side, Webby was a terribly bad bedmate.

    Aerith was almost actually thankful when she heard knocks at the front door at the middle of the night, a night that was just as pitch black as any other in Twilight Town. Fumbling her way across the darkness and mumbling to herself in a way nowhere as ladylike as her usual manners, the svelte young lady navigated along the reconditioned storage room where she’d been sleeping for over a week now, leaving Webby literally kicking around on their shared bed, her webbed right foot slapping the air where moments before Aerith’s cheek had been.

    In the next bed, Louise was just as restless, whimpering in fear and discomfort about some ‘Eleanor’, all the while Collet slept like a log by her side, mouth wide open and a thin trail of drool running down a side of it. Aerith left them all behind and soon was on her feet before the barricaded front door, asking aloud, “Who is that?”

    “You’d better open right now,” a female voice said from the outside, “or I swear to God I’m cutting this door open with nothing but a slash.”

    Ah. The thing.

    “You’d better not have killed the others, you heard me?” asked Aerith, who was a brave woman indeed, gripping her staff tightly in a hand, and using the other to open the door… and find herself facing a large group of people standing on the darkened sidewalk, right before her, led by an awkwardly smiling Negi Springfield. She recognized a few others of them, too, including the thing with glasses, but most of them were new faces.

    “Good evening, Miss Aerith, how are you?” Negi bowed deeply to her. “If Master Louise is awake, please take me to her, I’ve got to—“

    “Wait a second, now,” said one of the girls Aerith didn’t recognize, one with short black hair and a fair, not extremely beautiful but still rather cute, face. “Master Louise?!”

    “Oh, hey, but if it’s Sephiroth’s favorite pincushion!” said a man fully covered in red and black spandex from head to toe, his face well masked, and carrying so many swords on him Cloud would have taken pause and even a certain measure of admiration. “I guess this means we still haven’t finished Disc One! And I thought this had been a long-ass story so far…”

    “Pika pika,” said Collet’s yellow familiar, who was sitting on the head of a kindly smiling blonde girl in a long black dress, very reminiscent of a nun’s habit.

    One of Aerith’s eyebrows wiggled ever so slightly. “Ah,” she finally said. “Welcome back, Professor.”
     
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  2. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Justice for Fall.

    Batman stood before the Ala Alba, ready to take a test of the fledging heroes. And the Servants, who were far from fledging, but anyway.

    “Okay,” he said, clenching his teeth, “let’s start with a basic question. You’re fighting the Joker on a rooftop, and he jumps off to his death. You can jump after him, but there’s a chance your life might be at risk as well. What do you do? Do you dive in, or you let him drop?”

    “All life is sacred. I jump,” Negi said.

    “I let him fall,” Chisame flatly said.

    “All the way to the bottom,” Misa nodded.

    “I’d try saving him, of course…” Ayaka said.

    “Yeah, um, so would I,” Keiichi agreed.

    “There might be people below,” Makie said. “Why would I let a clown drop on them? What if they get hurt?”

    “I’d save him,” Shirou said.

    “I’d save him too,” Saber said. “The proper legal execution for mass murderous buffoons under my jurisdiction was specific in that they had to be flayed alive and then beheaded, never dropped to their deaths.”

    “Um… question?” Asuna doubted. “How tall a building is this supposed to be? If the fall would kill him, I’d jump in, but if he’s just going to break his legs and arms, why to bother…”

    “I let him drop,” Louise said. There was a pause. “But, who is the Joker anyway?”

    “I save him,” Sakurako said.

    “I save him,” Setsuna said.

    “I let him fall,” Konoka said at the exact same time.

    Then they both looked bewildered, staring at each other.

    “No! No, what I meant is, I let him drop!” Setsuna stammered.

    “Ah! N-No, what I meant is, I save him, of course!” Konoka stuttered.

    Haruna shook her head. “What kind of sneaky trick question is this? Of course the Joker would never walk around without a jetpack hidden in his jacket, he’s just as crazy prepared as you. I forget about him for the time being and concentrate on finding and defusing the bomb he left on the rooftop, because otherwise why he’d have jumped the building leaving me behind?”

    Batman nodded, then put a hand on Haruna’s shoulder. “You passed.”

    Everybody else blanched out.

    Batman then looked at Makie. “You get bonus points as well.”

    Makie blinked back to normal. “Oh! Oh, that’s… great, I think? Thank you, Batman-sama!”

    “But, how tall is the building anyway?!” Asuna insisted.
     
  3. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Always Someone Better.

    The gathered Ala Alba was having dinner at the Chao Bao Zi, after hours.

    “Mmmm!” Negi said, after tasting the soup. “Exquisite as always, Yotsuba-san!”

    “No, it’s even better than ever!” Misora complimented.

    “I, I’m sorry to be touching such a peerless delight with my unworthy tastebuds, I’m so sorry…!” Ai sobbed while eagerly wolfing it down.

    “Ah, this flavor, this texture…” Rito palated it. “Even better than Mikan’s… okay, nobody ever tells her I said this, or I’ll die…”

    Saber sniffled with heartfelt sincerity. “The opening act for a king’s feast indeed.”

    Satsuki laughed softly, quietly glowing at the praise. “Ah, you’re all so nice… I don’t deserve it, really…”

    “Well,” Skuld said then, sipping her soup. “Now that you mention it, it’s… okay, I guess. Not as good as my sister’s, but a good distant second, I suppose.”

    Everybody else in the team, even Eva, stared at her in aghast horror. Skuld blinked. “Eh? What did I say?”

    Yotsuba paled very noticeably, her eyes widened and blanked out, and after a brief moment of paralysis, she silently reached into one of Itoshiki’s sleeves over the counter, pulled a hangman’s noose out, and moodily headed back to the kitchen.

    Negi blinked after her retreating form for a second, then understanding sank in and he jumped after her. “Eeeehhhhh…!”
     
  4. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    “Yes, who is this, please?” asked Karakuri Chachamaru, gently bowing at the visitor on her doorstep right after opening the cottage’s front door.

    The man was tall, handsome and blond, with bright, vital serpentine eyes of a reddish hue, and wore a black and white track suit, with a wooden sword lazily resting on a shoulder. He smiled haughtily at the shapely young woman in the French maid outfit.”Foolish wench from an ignorant generation!” he said. “Don’t you recognize the greatness that should have passed through your people’s history of arts? You stand in the presence of Gilgamesh, King of Uruk!”

    “Chachamaru, who is that?” came an annoyed voice from deep inside the cabin in the woods.

    “It’s Gilgamesh, King of Uruk, mistress,” calmly replied Chachamaru. “Should I let him in?”

    There was a brief but rather pointed silence ensuing that question.

    A moment later, someone was heard rushing towards the door from the cabin’s basement, stairs thundering under the stampeding of storming boots, and a flash of glorious light greeted Gilgamesh’s wide grin as a petite woman stormed into sight and into the living room, flashing past Chachamaru so sharply the gynoid did not even realize exactly when she had been pushed aside. Now fully clad in the majestic blue regalia of her battle garments, Saber came to a halt right before the visitor at the doorstep, staring up at him with downright murderous green eyes and snarling a single word full of venom and vitriol, “You!”

    The King of Heroes flipped her a casual salute, not seeming to mind at all about the sharp edge of the invisible sword tightly pressed against his Adam’s apple. “So the rumor mill was right after all, and you waste your time with this club for children, Saber! Very well, there must be something else to this dingy abode and the mongrels in it, then. Rejoice, for I shall be joining you in it!”

    “What,” Saber said.

    Behind her, the other members of the Ala Alba, most of them confused and intrigued, were gathering slowly with the prudence gained from many a pointless skirmish, coming after her from the basement at more sedate paces. At the head of the compact, tight group, Negi Springfield suddenly stiffened in place, recognizing the stranger from a nocturnal lecture held weeks ago in a faraway city, and not too far from him, Skuld paled noticeably, stepping back and reaching for the first thing at hand to grip on tightly, which was the sleeve of a Morisato Keiichi perplexed by her fear. Kakizaki Misa just raised an eyebrow, visibly interested by what she was seeing. “Well, hello,” she said, “and what do we have here? You look familiar, handsome…”

    Kasuga Misora sighed. “Oh, it’s you, Drifter-san. Listen, if Father Kirei sent for me, he really didn’t have to bother, he could have texted—Oh,” she abruptly stopped, taking a good look at his face and finally making a connection with that very same lecture from their Kyoto vacation. “Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh…” she gulped, backing away behind Asuna and pulling Cocone with herself. “I… I’d never seen you this close before, except for—for—“

    Emiya Shirou frowned, walking past the others and up to Saber, who still was not letting go of Gilgamesh’s throat. “Saber, what’s gotten into you? You can’t rush out and attack everyone who knocks on this door, what did I tell you after those Jehovah’s Witnesses—“

    The blond man frowned at him, his good humor spoiled at last. “Vile mongrel! Who do you think yourself to be, to speak to Saber in such a familiar style? Hold your tongue, dog, lest I rip it from your throat! There’ll be no further warnings!”

    “Ahhh,” Hakase Satomi said, while everyone else reacted to this outburst with suitable shock, Shirou most of all. “You’re yet another Servant after Saber-san’s blood, aren’t you? I must say, your approach to this matter is highly original and courageous at the very least. Just knocking at the door and announcing yourself, that’s not what the others—“

    He sneered coldly at her. “I’m no one’s Servant, and I don’t wish for Saber’s death! You completely misread me, myopic fool!”

    “No, no, what are you saying?” Asuna scowled, snapping her fingers while trying to remember. “You’re definitely one of those Servants, I remember you now from Kuro-chan’s lecture, you are… you are… Assassin, right?”

    “What kind of Assassin just knocks at the door and says hi to kill someone?” Yuuki Rito asked, trying to shield Haruna with his body just in case. “Not even Yami-san would go at it that way…”

    “Archer! It’s Archer, damned fools!” Gilgamesh growled.

    “See, I knew you were a Servant! And you were denying it, what’s the point?!” Asuna demanded of him.

    “Wasn’t the Archer Kuro-san showed us much more tanned and wearing red?” Hasegawa Sora asked Suzushiro Haruka.

    Haruka shook her head. “No, that’s their Fifth War’s Archer, this is their Fourth War’s Archer. Which would apparentiously be our Fourth War’s Archer too? I guess?”

    “Shouldn’t he be dead already then?” asked Shiina Sakurako.

    “Well, he’s obliviously not,” Haruka said, “but maybe he just came from the past, or from Kuro-san’s dimension’s past, or—“

    “SILENCE, EVERYONE!” Gilgamesh commanded.

    And everyone, even Evangeline briefly, held their tongues from what they were just going to say, in a shared flinch Sasaki Makie was the first one to recover from.

    “Wow,” the pink haired girl said then. “You’re better at shutting us up than Negi-kun! Maybe you should’ve studied to be a Teacher Class Servant?”

    “There’s no Teacher Class, and one doesn’t study to be a Servant, you idiot,” Gilgamesh growled, rubbing his temples, “that is, of course, unless one is a Caster of the kinds who—Why am I even explaining this to you anyway?! I’m here only for Saber! Since we’re fated to be together, I must know whether this place’s worthy of our combined presence or I must take her away from it!”

    “Oh… Oh, I think I understand now,” Shirou said, finally blinking out of his stupor. “Saber never wants to talk about the Fourth War, but… you’re her ex or something like that, aren’t you? How do you do, I’m Emiya Shirou, Saber’s Master…”

    “HE’S NOT!” Saber protested, extremely angry and red faced, and still not letting go of the throat. “SHIROU!”

    Gilgamesh shrugged. “I wouldn’t say we ‘were’ an item as much as we ‘are’ an item that is just waiting to be it again, if your puny brain can grasp that, but yes, I suppose you could say that too…”

    “We never were anything but bitter enemies in the first place!” Saber yelled at him.

    Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell, mistress of the house and merciless loli empress of death and destruction, winced quite a lot and then sighed. “So, basically…. You wish for membership, right? Tell me, how do you feel about idiotic lost mages who put curses on little girls?”
     
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  5. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    As you might be aware of by now, quite a few things had changed in Hasegawa Chisame and Hakase Satomi's dorm room since Negi Springfield, boy teacher, had arrived. On the other hand, at least one thing had not changed for Negi himself, namely the fact he slept with a beautiful young lady every night, much like he'd do with his older sister back in Wales. Of course, since this is not that type of story, at least not yet, sleeping was all they did together, all through those cold long nights, under the warm covers, in close, tight contact with each other for hours and hours in the darkness…

    Regardless, this was being yet another night where Negi and Chisame just lay together in gentle intimacy and nothing beyond that happened. The only way that it had been out of the ordinary was the way that Negi found himself awakened slightly before dawn by an itching sensation on the wrist of his left hand. Opening his eyes and pulling his face away from its pillowed spot on Chisame's breasts, he looked blearily up at his wrist, and the delicate tracery of the three symbols now inscribed there.

    He looked at that for a few minutes.

    "What?" he eventually said rather sharply.

    "Breeeghhhlll," Chisame growled, in a sleep-filled voice. "Neeeeegiiii – you'd better not be resting your head on my chest agaaaaaaiiiiiin..."

    "That's not the problem right now, Chisame-sama," whispered a voice from a side of their shared top bunk, as two large, round brown eyes became visibly shiny in the darkness, right next to Negi. "Negi-sama seems to have sort of strange exotic rash all over his hand, and I'm afraid to say, so does your creamy, flawless, delicate flesh…"

    Negi jumped up, startled. "Ah! You were here?!"

    "Yes, always," Tsunetsuki Matoi said, nodding softly.

    "Damn you, Tsunetsuki! I've told you already, sleep out!" Chisame snapped as her eyes came all the way open, and her right leg swept along to kick Matoi off the bunk and to the floor.

    ---

    Unequally Rational and Emotional What If?

    Partially Inspired by Darkenning's Anything That Burns, Chapter Twelve.

    ---

    "So, is this some sort of mage VD?" Akashi Yuuna worriedly asked, a few moments and several Pactio summons later, as Matoi, Chamo the Ermine, and Negi's Ministra Magi all sat around the room's table in a tight small crowd, most of them in pajamas, except for Saotome Haruna, who slept naked and as such had a bedsheet wrapped around her instead.

    "VD?" Negi repeated, blinking innocently.

    "Venereal Disease, Negi-kun," Kakizaki Misa explained with a weary sigh and a folding of arms.

    "Well," Chisame bleakly observed. "Of course you'd know about that."

    Misa just hissed her way giving her a stink eye.

    "What is that?" Suzushiro Haruka asked, also blinking in turn.

    "A form of ailing transmitted through sexual contact, not that any of us have ever experienced any of such with Negi-sensei," Hakase explained, even as Haruka, Ayaka and Negi broke into violent saliva choking and coughing plus intense blushing all at once. "At the very least, I dearly would hope none of us would have," she added, leveling a glare first at Misa, then at Haruna, and finally at the still gasping and wheezing, rattled Iinchou.

    "Of course not!" Negi let out a strangled scream, coming back to himself enough as to give Hakase a brief strangely angry glare, and then recomposing himself. "Anyway, n-no, there is no such disease that I know of, and if there was, I'm sure that it would have been cured ten years ago when Professors Richards and Pym decided that such diseases should be eliminated, as is of common knowledge to anyone with a passing knowledge of modern history, before any of you asks how I know, you're welcome. This is something much, much worse than a disease. This is something that shouldn't be happening."

    Kagurazaka Asuna closed her mouth and frowned. "Spoilsport," she grouched.

    "Something that shouldn't be happening, you say?" Chisame groaned, still trying to rub the marks on the back of her own hand off with a thick piece of cloth. "You mean, like, oh, I don't know, being attacked by vampiric classmates and their combat robots, and then by demented Kyoto heretics commanding demon gods, and then by demon counts out to get you because of something your father did? That kind of 'shouldn't be happening', Sensei?"

    "No, this is the really bad kind of 'shouldn't be happening', Chisame," their teacher and Magister explained. "To be brief, this is the mark which indicates that we're candidates to become one of the seven Masters selected to participate in the Fuyuki Holy Grail War."

    A stunned silence fell around the table.

    "Oh..." Konoe Konoka finally said, slowly. "You mean, like in that speech you told me Kuro-san gave you guys while I was kidnapped...?"

    Negi nodded firmly. "Indeed, Konoka-san. That's right what it is."

    "Well, good thing you aren't a Math teacher, because there's more than seven Masters between the whole of us, in the event you haven't noticed yet," Asuna told him.

    Ayaka frowned at her rival. "What is that 'us' business you are talking about, Asuna-san? I don't think you have been, as you would crudely put it, included in the package this time..."

    "Yeah, that's true, isn't it," Asuna sighed, extending her hands before herself and looking at their backs, which unlike those of her Magister and the other Ministra, were not sporting any intricate marks on them. "This gotta be related to my magic immunity, right? I think I'll take it as a good thing..."

    Chisame facepalmed. "Good luck sticks to the dumb, there's no doubt of that!"

    "Why do we tolerate her, again?" Asuna wondered aloud, looking at Misa.

    "She's sometimes got a spot-on view on matters, for all her flaws," Misa replied.

    "Yeah, well, I guess there's that, but-- Hey, I thought we were supposed to be together on this one!" Asuna protested.
     
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  6. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Unequally Rational and Emotional vs. Sharknado.

    "Huh," Negi said, looking out the window. "I must say, this isn't exactly what I was fearing it'd be like."

    "What," Chisame said, looking up from her laptop, "did you get the movies all the way back in Wales? I thought you hardly ever watched any movies!"

    Negi shrugged. "It was just once, in a courage dare between the students. We did a marathon, but never got past the third one, Anya blew the TV up half through that one."

    "And you don't have them in Wales, because the oceanic weather in those areas is far colder," Satomi nodded while working on Chachamaru's left arm joint. "Well, wasn't it just logical from the start? They can't breathe out of the water, they're all long dead by the time they arrive here. The only real danger and cause for the curfew is one could still hurt you grievously should it fall on you..."

    "And sometimes not even then," Negi observed, seeing Itoshiki crawl out from under one shark's bulk, and then stand under the falling trajectory of yet another one. "But then, why was everyone so afraid of its coming...?"

    "Sensei," Chisame glared at him. "You do realize we'll be all cleaning bloody dead sharks out of the campus for at least two days after this, don't you?"

    Negi sighed. "Oh yes, of course. How silly of me..." He yawned and head over to the kitchen for some snacks.

    Well. That was anticlimactic.
     
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  7. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    "Um, a bit of context for those of us who weren't close by when those weird things happened in Kyoto?" Kugimiya Madoka requested, raising a hand nervously. "Like, is this just dangerous, or sorta like deadly dangerous?"

    Negi breathed deeply. "I can't fault you for being concerned. Well, to put it in simple enough terms, the Fuyuki Holy Grail War is, from what Kuro-san told us from what I've researched on it since, a very disturbing magical ritual that's been going on since the late 18th century. Which would be fine - well, not fine, because I wouldn't want to participate in a battle royale among mages under any circumstances - but for the fact that the previous Fuyuki Holy Grail War ended up only ten years ago, when the inactivity time between each of the previous Wars was always of more than half of century. That shouldn't be possible unless events in this reality are somehow mirroring that of Kuro-san's. This, then, is something that shouldn't be happening," he repeated, glaring at the marks on his wrist, as if pure indignation could make them disappear.

    "Fuyuki, Fuyuki..." said Madoka, as if struggling to catch up. "Ah! You mean that city that burned up ten years ago, don't you? When some serial killer set off a bunch of bombs and destroyed most of it, like some sort of weird Prototype Joker?"

    "That was the cover story the Magical Associations came up with," Negi agreed.

    "Well, I fail to be what's the real problem here," Haruna said. "You mean on top of every other nifty magical and technological trick we already got at our disposal, now we also get a bunch of awesome warriors from the past to command, and an edge in numbers over whoever else is competing in this War? And the downside to all of this would be...?"

    Sakurazaki Setsuna shot her an icily sharp glare. "It's okay with me if you decide to gamble your own life like that, but there are untold dangers to a situation such as this, no matter how advantageous it may be. Think of the others' safety as well!"

    "I'm sure Konoka will be the most protected of us all now," Haruna reasoned. "Not only she'll get you to protect her, but also a Heroic Spirit all of her own, and yours..."

    "That's not the point!" Setsuna protested.

    "Or is it that you don't want to share the role of Konoka's guardian with anyone else?" Haruna asked. "That's a bit selfish of you, don't you think?"

    "Please don't talk about my future as if I wasn't even here, you two, please," Konoka asked, just the tiniest bit coldly.

    "Haruna," Negi told the mangaka, "it isn't quite as simple as that. It's not unheard of for Servants to turn against their Masters, to start with..."

    "Well, can't we just forfeit taking place in this thing in the first place, then?" argued Madoka. "I don't know, leave our spots to someone else, or something like that?"

    "Would you really trust that kind of power to the averrated person in this Academy?" Haruka pointedly asked.

    Negi breathed out. "It's pointless to worry about our next step before consulting the Headmaster on this. As an unfair, impartial higher power with no personal stake on this conflict, and the ultimate authority in Mahora, he must be informed at once..."

    Misa pointed at Konoka. "Um, Negi-kun? I'd say he does have quite the personal stake on this now!"

    "It's a stake that favors us anyway, so what's the problem?" Haruna shrugged.

    "I suppose this doesn't mean," Shiina Sakurako pointed out then, "that we'll have to fight each other with our Servants, right...?"

    Everyone else around the table paled ever so slightly at this, except for Hasegawa Sora, who just collapsed onto the table hiccuping and shaking uncontrollably.
     
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  8. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    "This," said Konoemon, as he leaned forward, hands folded against his beard-covered chin, "is very troubling."

    Negi and his Ministra Magi, plus Matoi’s quiet presence behind Chisame, were all standing in front of his desk, holding up their wrists for his examination. The old man had simply stared at the markings for a brief moment before bringing his hands up to make his statement. They waited for him to elaborate on it. Eventually, it became clear that he had no intention of doing so.

    "Yes, it is very much so," said Negi at last, beating Konoka to the punch. "I suppose that this situation is every bit as much a mystery to you as it is to us, and the key questions - whether we can safely refuse this invitation, for example - will require some deeper research."

    "That one, actually, I can answer," Konoemon said quietly. "It so happened that during the third ritual, in the decade before the War, one of the selected master candidates was a member of the faculty. He had no interest in participating, attempted to refuse the call, and also refused to pass it on to another individual. Within two weeks of his first awareness of the situation, his life force began to drain, and by the end of the third week, he had died. At which point, the summons passed to another individual who was more willing to go along with it, rendering the entire episode... utterly meaningless." His eyes were lidded as he spoke, and there was just the hint of an ancient pain in his voice.

    Misora, Sora, Chisame, Ayaka and Negi himself all shuddered very noticeably.

    “Well, then all we have to is to pass this load onto someone else, right, Sensei?” Misa asked, voice hopeful still. “It shouldn’t take too much, finding only a handful of willing Masters or whatever they’re they called, among your staff or—“

    “Certainly, there is a ritual for the achievement of such a task,” Konoemon nodded. "The original founders of the Heaven’s Feel system shared it with the Catholic Church. Of course, that’s not the same of information that would have been shared with initiates like Cocone-kun or Misora-kun, but Father Kotomine is the local authority charged with performing the rituals in the event a Grail War should arise."

    “Alright, that sounds easy enough,” Haruna said. “Then all we have to do, should we decide to foolish, I mean wisely, forfeit this chance for untold thrills and power, I mean, unspeakable deadly danger, is to walk up this one priest and ask him to remove us from the game?”

    The old man held a hand up, imposing silence, before he quietly said, "Yes, yes, in theory, of course. But things are not as easy as that, I’m afraid. Technically, you also could simply summon your Servants, then use one of your Command Seals to transfer command authority over them to another Master. Said individual would then take all the risks of fighting by the Servant’s side, ensuring that your lives are not in danger, which is of course all that matters in the final scheme of things. But…” here he sighed sadly, “there could be difficulties involved even with that."

    “How so, Sir?” Negi asked.

    “The Catholic church, as a Western institution, is nominally linked to Clock Tower, the headquarters of Great Britain’s Magic Association, for all matters concerning Heaven’s Feel,” the Headmaster explained. “They are to work in tandem for the control and supervision of the War, even if it takes place on Japanese grounds. My own jurisdiction on these events is rather limited, and I can’t protect you from the Sealing Designations that Clock Tower would most likely place on you as soon as Father Kotomine reports your situation to them, as is his duty to do.”

    “S-Sealing Designations?” Sora gasped.

    “A Heaven’s Feel is meant to have only seven competing Masters, each for one of the designated Classes of Servants,” Konoemon elaborated. “Just between the lot of you, that amount is twice passed, and that is an anomaly that neither Clock Tower nor the Church could overlook. You might be deemed a high security risk both for public safety and the secrecy of the Mysteries, so you might be given Sealing Designations, that is, orders to be either terminated or contained and experimented on for Clock Tower’s research.”

    “Whaaaat?!” Chisame recoiled. Behind her, an already strong and threatening JIIIIIIIII reached a disturbing crescendo, as a dark aura formed itself around it.

    Sora began hiccupping in frantic, nearly choking dread.

    Yuuna’s mask became a grimacing pale mask. “Please tell us you’re joking, Sensei.”

    “He wouldn’t joke on this any more than I would!” Setsuna angrily told her. “Ojou-sama’s integrity and safety are at stake here, too!”

    “Oh, actually, I’m sure we can negotiate an exception for Konoka-chan, as she’s the heiress of Japan’s two Magical Associations,” Professor Konoe replied. “Even Clock Tower wouldn’t bother to prod that beehive, I should hope. Negi-kun also might be spared, due to the weight the Thousand Master’s name still carries in England to this day.”

    “Oh, so only the rest of us get tossed under the train!” Misora wailed.

    Setsuna blinked a few times, taking the news in a shocked silence, before shrugging. “Well, if Ojou-sama is going to survive, then I’m content with the outcome…”

    Nobody was more startled at this reaction than Konoka herself, since everybody else, Negi included, had been expecting it. “Setchan!” she was jolted, scandalized. “You can’t be serious!”

    “Yeah, Setsuna-san!” Asuna chided her. “How do you think Konoka and I would cope with losing the whole lot of you?! Even Iinchou!”

    “That’s unthinkable!” Negi agreed, shivering. “I, I won’t stand for any of it!”

    “I don’t want to pressure anyone, or anything like that,” Haruna casually threatened, “but I’m the fiancée to an alien princess of dubious self centered morality who loves me madly and commands an interstellar army. I suppose my execution might lead to, I don’t know, a full frontal attack on all of Earth?”

    Konoemon paused. “Uh,” he finally said. “Now that you mention it, I imagine we also could negotiate a way out for you, Saotome-kun.”

    “Bring Lala-chan here right now!” Misa panicked. “I need to tug on her tail!”
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2019
  9. wellis

    wellis Experienced.

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    Is this all connected with the "Gilgamesh goes to Evangeline's mansion" one?
     
  10. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    No, that was just an unrelated What If oneshot. I found the premise for that one really wasn't going any further.
     
  11. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    "Well, other than that, there's nothing to do about it, Negi-kun," Konoemon said at last. "Regardless of what we might prefer, the whole lot of you will have to summon your respective servants. And soon," he added. “Of course, you should have brought this subject to me instead of keeping it to yourselves and Evangeline, but—“

    Negi blinked. “But Sir, we have just—“

    The elder cleared his throat rather loudly. “As I was saying, painful as it was, the proper course of action would have been bringing the subject to me so I fulfilled my own duty and reported these anomalies to the Church, but it can’t be helped if I wasn’t told about it and you keep it to the secrecy of Evangeline’s sanctuary for the time being. I’m not omniscient, after all.”

    “Grandpa,” Konoka said coyly, “that’s a very sneaky thing for you to do…!”

    “I have no idea what are you talking about, Dear Granddaughter I’d Do Anything For, since you have come here just to waste my time with unimportant matters completely unrelated to Grail Wars and the like, but in the meanwhile, I’ll be looking for secrets ways out for you while you sort these affairs I wasn’t told about far from the public eye and away from Clock Tower’s reach, in a pocket dimension of your own.”

    Negi grimaced slightly. “S-Sir, we’re very thankful for this willingness of yours to bend the rules in our favor, but shouldn’t we—“

    “Konoe-sensei wouldn’t ever break or bend any of the golden rules of his responsibilities, even for us, no matter what, Sensei,” Setsuna flatly told him. “Much less over any misdeeds of ours we haven’t told him about.”

    “Technically, it isn’t a misdeed, I certainly didn’t ask for any of this, but yeah, okay, we haven’t told him anything,” Chisame agreed.

    “Please, just make sure to look very thoroughly into this subject we haven’t told you about at all, Sensei!” Sora begged.

    “You have my word, even if I have absolutely no notion whatsoever of what you intend to tell me, Hasegawa-kun,” the old man promised sincerely. “A pity you didn’t tell me about it, but I’ll still do my best regardless. Even if I’m not omniscient.”

    "Very well, I see. Or I don’t, since apparently there’s nothing to see," Negi finally said, sounding quite jaded. "Then I suppose we’ll have to head to Master’s resort immediately after classes today and perform the rituals as soon as--"

    "Not all of you at once, no!" interrupted Konoemon sharply.

    The youngsters turned back to the headmaster with varying expressions of confusion. "Is something the matter, sir?" Negi asked.

    "While I've never performed this particular spell myself, I've studied it in some detail," the old man said, looking sterner than any of them had ever seen before. "It is an incredibly dangerous spell, with potentially devastating consequences if it's performed incorrectly. Under no circumstances should it be performed lightly, with magical residue from another mage to interfere with the praxis. And I’m sure Evangeline will tell you the same! I'd sooner hand you a pistol loaded with bullets containing fissionable material and tell you to play Russian roulette, Negi-kun."

    "Then what should we do?" Negi asked, feeling frustrated once more. "Are we supposed to take turns, or do it in different places each? How long do we have to wait between summons? You said it yourself from that poor man’s example; we don’t have a lot of time to do this…"

    "If I knew anything on these affairs you have kept from me,” Konoemon not-advised, “I’d tell you to first consult Evangeline’s own opinion on the matter, then perform a first summon tonight, using the most gifted individual among you, the one with the greatest reserves of magic and the one in the most need of superpowered protectors in a time of crisis as this. Then try at a rate of around, I’m not sure yet, one per day, the passage of time in Eva’s domains should speed the process quite nicely while still being safe… Regardless, before making any rash moves, please wait for my full consultations on this matter you should have briefed me on.”

    “We sure are getting a lot of chastising on something we didn’t even do,” Misora lamented weakly.

    “I’m still not sure of what have we told him and what not,” Haruka confessed.
     
  12. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    “Very well, like Sugiura-sensei would have said, that could have gone better,” Hakase philosophized as they, along Rito, Lala, Skuld, Keiichi, Makie, Itoshiki and Ai, made their way up the forest pathway leading to Evangeline’s cottage later that afternoon.

    Keiichi turned a side glance to look at her. “Who?”

    “One of the teachers who have to lecture her on experiments gone awry every so often,” Chisame groaned. “Hey, if I remember correctly, on top of everything else, that Grail’s supposed to have some curse on it, right? That’s what Kuro told us, what if it’s related to this… thing happening to all of us?”

    “We shouldn’t be jumping on conclusions just yet, Chisame,” Negi patiently told her. “After all, this event itself is proof things are quite different here from what they were in Kuro-san’s home world. I don’t think we should have burdened the Headmaster with that concern on top of everything else until we find solid proof of this Grail’s corruption.”

    “I’m with Paru-chan, I don’t see what’s the big fuss here,” Makie said. “I’d like to have one of those Servants to fight for me, myself! Plus, the more friends the better!”

    “You slept through all of Kuro’s explanation, of course that wouldn’t bother you…” Misora sighed.

    “Nothing good ever comes from tampering with the dead,” Itoshiki-sensei advised. “The only thing we should ever do with Death is surrendering to her…”

    “Any big ideas, Skuld?” Yuuna asked her divine roommate. “You should know a fair bit about these things, dammit!”

    “I already told you this morning, not one of my many fields of expertise!” Skuld reminded her, wagging a finger. “The only thing I can clearly see from this situation is, Negi must have been the original receiver for the Command Seals intended by the manmade Grail, but due to your Pactio connections with him, somehow, they were also transferred to the whole lot of you but Asuna-san, who is… different.”

    “Well, isn’t that just convenient?” Chisame grouched.

    “Question,” Matoi addressed Skuld. “If I were to make a Pactio with Chisame-sama, would Command Seals appear on me as well, then?”

    “For your own safety, let’s not find out, okay?!” the exasperated hacker said.

    “Ah, it’s so moving you’re so worried about me, Chisame-sama, but I can look after mys—“

    “No, I mean it, seriously!” Chisame insisted.

    “If secrecy on these matters related to mysticism remain so important for you,” Lala casually said then, pointing ahead, “I’d suggest you to, ahhhhh, keep it down from here? There seems to be someone ahead…”

    Indeed, up the uphill path stood a woman with hair that was golden blonde, yet dark enough as to almost resemble the colour of straw. Her irises were tinted in a pleasant emerald green, and her shapely, athletic body clad in a long sleeved modest white blouse and long black skirt, plus tall black boots, casual enough for the city and yet also more than fitting for hitchhiking. In a hand she held a rolled up map, and from her shoulder hung a large and worn brown travel bag. Her thick and high soles made her look even taller than she was, towering over all other women present, including the fairly tall Lala herself.

    Since she stood right on the middle of the way, blocking it, the collected Ala Alba had to come to a slow combined halt. “Um, good afternoon, Ma’am?” Negi asked her. “I don’t think I’ve seen you ever before, but I’m Negi Springfield, a teacher at Mahora, and if you’re lost—“

    With a gentle gesture and a subtle shake of her head, she imposed silence upon him. “Thank you very much, but far from it. I’m right where I need to be. I’m really sorry we have to meet under these circumstances. I can tell you are good young people, and no harm should I ever befall you,” she said in a regretful tone, also proving she didn’t know Haruna yet.

    Setsuna’s eyes narrowed, and her fingers reached for her blade just as she delicately moved around to shield Konoka with her body. “That’s an interesting way to greet someone for the first time, stranger. Should we ask who would bring such harm upon us?”

    Sighing sadly, the young woman slammed a boot against the ground, and a sudden, sharp flash of white lightning enveloped her from above, pushing Ala Alba back. It was gone in a blink, and then she stood now wearing her long hair combed back into a thick braid falling down to her waist, and wearing form fitting, but still somehow modest and humble, gray from toe to neck. The sort of ensemble that would be functional for battle without being flashy at all, allowing maximum freedom of motion without sacrificing practicality.

    In a hand she held a sharp standard with a white flag at its top; and a thin silver sword hung from her waist.

    “I am Servant Ruler!” she said, stoically holding her standard before herself even as of Ala Alba pulled their cards out, or readied their staffs, wooden rulers and mallets in the cases of Negi, Itoshiki and Skuld. “And my duty is to enforce the rules of this Heaven’s Feel no matter what! The second I felt anomalies surging from these school grounds, threatening the balance and probably risking destruction upon this world, my course was clear! I don’t like having to do this, at all… but all threats to the proper course of Heaven’s Feel must be purged out!”
     
  13. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    One of several things Negi had learned about team battles since Ala Alba had started training under Evangeline was that numbers sometimes were a hindrance in addition to, or even instead of, an advantage. Much like it had happened during the dodgeball game versus Class 3-F, your teammates could get into each other’s way if they weren’t careful, and wide range attacks were difficult to launch without hitting your friends at the same time as your foes.

    Which was why Negi, right now, was staying behind Haruka and Setsuna as they led the charge, readying a dozen targeting Sagitta Mafica to hit this ‘Ruler’ with instead of either joining their frontline fighters or just bombarding the whole area with magic.

    With a ferocious and grammatically incorrect growl, Haruka reached Ruler first, swinging her mace towards the woman, only for her to easily duck under it. With a faint cry of “Sagitta Magica!”Negi released his arrows of lightning, remembering Kuro’s words on the capacities of Servants. Before the flying projectiles even got close, Ruler had already hit Haruka squarely across the stomach with the blunt end of her standard, sending her zooming against a tree and snapping it by half.

    Another split second later, Ruler dodged the speeding attacks of pure magic with just as much ease, and they exploded behind her, throwing Haruna off balance and off her feet even as she tried an attack from behind, only managing to sketch half of a gruesome and horned demonic beast before Ruler, not missing a beat, shredded it to bits with the sharp end the banner was tied to, making Haruna scream in phantom pain and Rito in shock, upon which he tripped and fell on Sora’s chest.

    “What a disaster,” Negi mumbled to himself. A Heroic Spirit, Kuro had said, is invulnerable to normal bullets, traps, blades, explosives, or other physical attacks. Only highly powered magical artifacts and the spellcraft of the utmost masters of the arts could damage the lowest ranking of Servants; otherwise, to defeat a Heroic Soul, you would need another of their kind. This was becoming painfully obvious right now, as Ruler effortlessly blocked Setsuna’s Yuunagi with her staff while also kicking back to punt Ayaka away from herself, all while the heiress lashed her whip at her.

    Ruler moved surprisingly fast, almost as if reading their movements, and Negi had no idea who she was. She didn’t look like any of the Servants Kuro had shown them, even though her face resembled that of the Saber. Generally, the key to defeat a Servant was in their true identity, but how to solve this puzzle before she destroyed them all…?

    “Good technique,” Ruler congratulated Setsuna sincerely, as their weapons clashed and clanged time and time again in a quick succession, the Servant ducking with fluid grace under three of Misa’s throwing light needles aiming for her head.

    Wait, Negi told himself while this was going on. I’m not looking at it from the correct angle. Instead of concentrating on who she isn’t, let’s review which famous warrior could ever fight holding nothing but a banner of war…

    Setsuna could tell her opponent was not familiar with Japanese sword styles, but still, from the sheer force and speed she would put on each strike and counter, it was clear to Setsuna that she couldn’t hold her back for long regardless; her physical superiority far outclassed any problems she could have adapting to the Shinmeiryuu’s tactics. And indeed, Ruler soon got close enough as to headbutt Setsuna into unconsciousness with a single hit, dropping her as she whispered an apology.

    But of course! It hit Negi, too, just much less literally. This had just given him the confirmation he needed. Setsuna-san’s training, most effective while dealing with evil spirits, wouldn’t work on such a person at all! Maybe if I get close and tag her with a fire spell...

    “Setsuna-san!” Asuna yelled, drowning out Konoka’s own cry. “Oooohhh, now you’ve done it!” she roared at Ruler, swinging her massive sword and charging her along a Negi to was already gathering flames at the top of his father’s staff. Only for both to be tossed aside when Ruler swung her weapon at them, hitting the duo at once.

    Lala came next, giving no respite, power bombing her from above feet first while Rito tended to Haruna nervously, but Ruler simply grabbed the alien princess by an ankle, swung her around, and swatted her down at left and right, using her to clobber Hakase and Madoka as they got close too, brandishing their metal arms and giant hammer respectively.

    “Owie,” Lala weakly said before being tossed aside. “Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best approach to this problem…”

    “Catastrophe! Perdition! Doooooom!” Itoshiki howled as he jumped on Ruler from her left, surrounded by thick, oozing tendrils of inner darkness and misery manifested from his very self, but Ruler merely blew their way delicately and they dissolved, just like that, as if vanquished by a glowing pureness drifting from this tenacious fighter. The man was similarly stunned, grinding to a halt, confused as the woman’s blessed breath hit him too, filling him with something pleasant and warm he’d never felt before. “Wha- What is this?” he stumbled around, dazed, as if bewitched and spacing out. “Is this what… what happiness feels like…?”

    Then Ruler simply punched him out cold.

    Haruka recovered and sprang on Ruler again, snarling and brutally pummeling on her with the morningstar. But somehow, Ruler stood firm on her feet under the onslaught, barely shielding her with an armored gauntlet and sighing before tossing Haruka up… way up… with a baseball swing of her standard. “Please don’t make this any harder for yourselves!” she begged Ala Alba even as also batting Makie’s thrown ribbons at her before they could hit her.

    “Ah! Yuuna-chan, throw me one of your guns!” Makie called out then. “I work better with them anyway!” And that was saying something, considering how good Makie was with the ribbon.

    Yuuna did just that, but the handgun she had just tossed was intercepted in mid-flight by Ruler’s standard, which sent if flying off the road and far from Makie’s reach. “Listen me out!” the Servant insisted. “Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t have jumped to attack you, but perhaps, I only need to destroy the source that is giving you these unholy powers rather than the whole lot of… Ah?!” she suddenly blinked in alarm, several times, her head snapping aside to look at Sakurako.

    Shiina, who was kneeling on the ground holding Satomi while Konoka healed her and Madoka, flinched, staring at the now glowing red mark on her hand and the dirt around her, which had started glowing as well. “Oh… Oh, nuts!” she muttered. “This, this doesn’t mean I’m going to explode or anything, does it…?”
     
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  14. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    The Intent is What Counts.

    "I see." The female Assassin smiled sweetly at Ritsuka and his Assassin, still standing respectfully away from them.

    And then, just like that, she had crossed the distance between them in a flash, a knife coming out in her hand. The short blade shot ahead, looking squarely for the young Master's heart.

    And then, a single gunshot was heard.

    Charlotte Corday staggered back, clutching her bleeding chest as thick oozing red also flowed from her mouth. "B-But... How?!" she gasped for some air. "You couldn't have seen it coming, I was... I was...!"

    The male Assassin, he of the chalk white long and angular face and the bright green hair, raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh? Sorry, are you saying you were about to kill the kid? I had no idea, actually. I felt you were pure and innocent and you got too close, so..." he shrugged. "It came naturally! No hard feelings, right?"

    He chuckled to himself, blowing on his gun and sheathing it back, then dusted his purple suit off before patting the stunned Ritsuka in an arm. "A great joke, wasn't it? Well then, let's get moving! We're just done here, I think..."

    Ritsuka still stood in place, staring at the young lady vanish into the air as his Assassin walked off whistling a jaunty circus tune to himself.

    And he shivered.
     
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  15. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Afterlife with Archie/Highschool of the Dead Crossover.

    One month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed. No chapter, no more zombies, no more cute girls orbiting around this one young guy.

    Another month passed--

    In the meanwhile, The Walking Dead was already over and Marvel Zombies had already reached its twentieth limited series.
     
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  16. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    "Oh my God," Sakurako breathed out as a petite, slim figure slowly appeared from the light, standing with their back turned on her and their face turned onto the approaching Ruler, who had suddenly come to a stop, evidently rattled. "I have... I have summoned Maki-chan!"

    "No, I'm right here!" Makie protested from the sideline.

    Negi blinked through the light, getting a clear view of what he supposed was another Servant as the luminosity began dying down. Whoever this was, they indeed looked like Makie, to some degree, but slightly taller and with a long braid jutting from the back of their head. Mostly clad in tight black, with sleeves that concealed the whole of their arms until they met their gloves, and a very short skirt that, hovering over tall black stockings, revealed enough of the creamy flesh of those long legs as to make clear they were toned and firm, regardless of the person's wry appearance. The Servant grinned, showing tiny cute fangs, and took a long white sword off, aiming it at Ruler as their cape flapped dramatically in the breeze behind them. Then the new arrival spoke, in a high pitched, youthful voice.

    "How do you do, Master!" the Servant told Ruler. "I'm Astolfo, Servant of the Rider class! I'm here to put my blade, and all of my skills, at your service...!"

    Everyone around, Ruler included, facefaulted in a shared collapse.

    Rider smirked, running their free hand through their pink hair. "I'm not very strong, I'm not very smart, I'm far from being the best Servant, but my loyalty is second to none's! When I swear I'll devote myself to you no matter what, I mean it!" They feel to one knee before the recovering Ruler, who was rubbing her own face and moaning even as Haruka finally dropped from the sky life a rock right behind her. "Even if it takes my life, I'll pledge all of my power and resources to your cause!"

    "She... She isn't your Master, you dumb girl!" Misa could finally scream, outraged.

    Rider blinked, turning to look at Misa. "Ahhhh... She is not? Weird, I felt she was familiar, like we'd met before... anyway, then never mind, Master!" Rider fell to a knee before her next. "I swear on my honor I will defend and follow you and only you..."

    "Not her either!" Madoka protested, pointing angrily towards a Sakurako who just knelt in place with fixed blank eyes. "It's her, dammit! Her! ... I think. It's her, right?" she asked Ruler.

    "Why are you even asking her, she's the enemy!" Skuld cried.

    "Oh. You're very complicated people!" Astolfo said, kneeling before Sakurako now. "In that case, forget I said anything before, and it's you and only you who I am devoted to, my dear Master, my guiding light, my field commander! How you doing?"

    "Ah... Ah, nice to meet you, I'm Sakurako," Shiina said, waving weakly.

    "So, Master," Astolfo told her. "How many of them do I have to kill? All of them, or do I leave a few as your prisoners? They don't look like they are very strong Servants, so even I should be able to take care of--"

    "They-- They aren't Servants, they're all my friends!" Sakurako gasped, waving her arms before herself, even as Chamo snaked nervously around Negi's shoulders and sniffed the air in Astolfo's general direction, frowning at the Rider. "W-Well, all of them but Ruler-san, the girl with the flag. You can fight her, I guess, if that's what you're here for."

    "Okay! Can do!" Rider flipped her a salute, spinning around on their heels to train their sword on the sighing Ruler again. "Hey, you. You sure we don't know each other?"

    "I'm sure," Ruler said, now sounding rather tired for some reason, "I'd remember you if I'd ever seen you before."

    "Ah. Well, I'm asking because I sure as heck wouldn't remember!" Astolfo confessed.

    "Sensei, who the hell is this girl anyway?" Keiichi asked, edging closer to Itoshiki. "Does she have brain damage? I don't see what kind of heroine--"

    "I favor Eastern literature over that of the West," the older man admitted, "but this has to be Astolfo, one of the twelve paladins of Charlemagne from the ancient French lore. An eccentric individual who travelled to the Moon to retrieve Roland's lost sanity... and left his own up there, apparently! How despairing that this would be our champion in the face of such an obviously superior foe!"

    "His," Keiichi repeated dubiously.

    Itoshiki nodded. "Astolfo was supposed to be a man, even if his beauty was beyond compare and much akin to that of a lady..."

    "Aw, you don't have to say that!" Astolfo laughed then, looking back at them and giggling slightly. "You're going to make me blush...!"

    "Your eyes on the opponent! Keep your eyes on her, please!" Negi begged desperately.

    Rider pouted, doing so. "Okay, okay, sheesh. What a bother, just because I'm a Servant, doesn't mean I can't do anything but taking ord--"

    "Please fight me seriously," Ruler said, taking a tense battle stance before them.

    "See?" Rider groaned. "Even you are bossing me around now, and not that I mind obeying a pretty girl, but sometimes I also like to be my own--"

    "Here I come...!" Ruler said, charging at them even as Rider yelped loudly and jumped out of the way.

    Setsuna grimaced and took Konoka in her arms while deploying her wings out. "Okay, now, everyone better start running away while they sort themselves out..."

    Misora nodded very quickly. "An excellent idea if I've ever heard one! Let's listen to the expert fighter who's been trained since birth, everyone!"

    "Setchan...!" Konoka complained. "I haven't even healed Haruka-sempai yet...!"

    "This... 'tis only a flesh wound...!" Haruka gurgled from the ground, stubbornly trying to push herself back up.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2019
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  17. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    "Okay, I understand why you'd be worried about Saotome," Evangeline said, sitting in the living room of her cabin and facing the assembled Miyazaki Nodoka, Ayase Yue, Inugami Kotaro and Ku Fei. "I mean, I still don't understand why you'd care about someone like her enough as to give a crap for her wellbeing, but since you already do, I understand why you'd be concerned about her safety after this. What I don't get is, why you two..." she then let a pointing finger trail towards Kotaro and Ku.

    The canine boy shrugged his shoulders. "If Nodoka nee-san cares, I guess that so do I. It's a mere matter of being a good partner, yanno."

    "I see," Eva plainly said. "And you..."

    "Paru is my roommate," Ku Fei shared. "I first one to learn, when she woke up this morning, aru."

    "Saotome is your roommate?" the tiny blonde repeated, blinking as Chachamaru poured her tea. "Huh. My sympathies."

    "Thank you, it often trying and-- Wait a sec, you didn't know?!" the Chinese girl said. "She never mention it here?!"

    "I try to block out whatever she's saying at any given moment," Evangeline answered while Chachamaru moved on to pour Nodoka's cup of tea, earning her a nervous thankful nod.

    "Oh. Oh, I can get that..."

    "Regardless," Eva muttered, lazily eyeing the quitely sipping Miyazaki, "didn't your flying pet tell you anything on the mechanics of Heaven's Feel? I expected better from a creation of Clow Reed."

    "W-Well, Kero-san said Master Clow did not like to talk about anything related to some 'Makiri Zolgen'," Nodoka stammered, while Chachamaru served Yue next. "But, what does that name have to do with Servants or the Grail War, we don't know, it never was mentioned during Kuro-san's speech..."

    "Even before the Third War," Evangeline reminisced, "Zolgen already had moved to Japan from his native Russia and changed his name to 'Matou Zouken', which probably is the name that little tramp knew him by. He was one of the three founders of the Heaven's Feel, and managed to lenghten his life for centuries to see it taken to its ultimate consequences, even after I refused to give him the vampire's kiss."

    "So you've been involved with these messes before," Kotaro told her.

    "I didn't care enough as to bother looking into the First or Second Wars," Eva admitted. "The third one piqued my interest enough I peeked around here and there, and I even got to see a few of its Servants fighting each other. For some of the alleged best examples of human heroism, they struck me as total idiots. Overrated, if you ask me..."

    Kotaro scoffed. "Yeah, that's pretty much what we'd have expected from you to think on the matter, Granny."

    "And this why you always should have your mutts neutered," Eva told Nodoka before moving along. "I missed on the Fourth War since someone locked me here in Mahora five years before the fact, but I probably wouldn't have checked on it anyway. From what I understand, Konoka's father snooped into it, since Zolgen had previously attempted to adopt Konoka away from him, then tried to have her kidnapped for him. Eishun found out Zolgen had taken the second daughter of the Tohsakas, another of the three founding families, as his backup plan, the Tohsaka patriarch being more willing to play along. From what I have pieced together, Eishun was... far from pleased on what he learned about what Zolgen had done to the girl, and what he'd have done to Konoka, had Eishun agreed to his terms prior to that."

    "And... and what did he do, then?" Yue finally asked, after a long while of just sitting back and listening, learning.

    "Why, he just slew the bastard and was done with it," Eva shrugged.

    "Ah," Yue said.

    "That just sensible thing to do," Ku opined, nodding.

    "That-- That's not possible!" Nodoka gasped. "Eishun-sama...?"

    "Cool beans," Kotaro whistled.

    "Hey, Eishun is a friend of that hotheaded idiot Nagi, after all," Evangeline said. "And from what I have learned of Zolgen's methods, I can't say I'd have done anything less, myself. I'm sure that, if anything, Eishun was too lenient on the creep, made it too fast."

    "Again, that's so much like you to say," Kotaro chuckled. "But hey, that's good, right? If that guy was such a bad seed, it's better if he's not around this time around, to mess with that idiot Negi and the others."

    Evangeline frowned. "For once, I'd say you're right, and yet... I don't know. I saw Zolgen cheating death far too many times over centuries as to fully count him out of the running just yet. Something wrong, Chachamaru?" she casually asked then, seeing her maid tensing up and looking out the window.

    "My sensors are just receiving major magical signatures of unknown origins coming from the woods, Master," the gynoid said. "They're unlike anything I've ever registered before, except maybe for the nature of Kuro-san's magic..."

    "Explosions, too. Approaching," Kotaro said, his ears perking up from the wild black mane as he put his cup down. He grinned from ear to ear and crackled his knuckles. "Alright! I've always wanted to test my mettle against some of mankind's finest..."

    Ku grinned madly as well. "Took words right out my mouth! Race you there, yes...?"

    "Kotaro-kun..." Nodoka began to warn, standing up just as he did.

    "Just so you know," Eva coldly said, "if you damage my front lawn you're dead, so you'd better stop them before they come that close. Even if they kill you. I mean, at least they won't torture you while doing so, I assume."

    "Master, I'm sure it won't come to that," Chachamaru reassured her, readying her weapons, "but should the worst come to pass, I'll just replace all the flowers..."

    Yue sweatdropped. "Would... Would you replace all of her students then, as well?"

    "Chao-san could rebuild them, I'm sure," Chachamaru said.

    Yue opened her mouth to protest, but just closed it back sighing. "You know, the scariest part about that is I don't think I can even deny it..."
     
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  18. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    “Setchan, this is outrageous!” Konoka complained as Setsuna took flight with her in her arms, heading towards Eva’s cabin while Asuna, Negi, Lala and Haruka stayed behind and everybody else made a run in the same direction as the Kyoto duo, on a massive truck Haruna had just drawn and Keiichi was driving. Itoshiki really wanted to throw himself off the vehicle and into the fray of Rider and Ruler, however, and it took all of Ai’s strength to hold him from doing so. “Let me go! I’m the healer! If they need anyone there, that’s me…!”

    “Please don’t discuss it, Ojou-sama,” Setsuna stoically asked, zooming through the air with her precious charge. “Your parents, grandfather, and the whole of both Associations need you alive and well, and as soon as I drop you with Evangeline-san, I’ll head back to further aid them, I swear…”

    “That’s not the point, Setchan!” Konoka all but wailed, trying to look past her bodyguard’s shoulders, and seeing only heavy rumbling and the occasional explosion of thrown dust and dirt amidst the trees, with frequent loud interjections in French rising from the mayhem. “What do you know about healing?! They need me, I’m telling you!”

    “Ojou-sama, I’m not leaving this open to debate!” Setsuna insisted, her wings flapping harder and faster across the air. “Just trust our comrades to stand the post they have chosen, and honor their wishes not to stand in their way!”

    “They’ve just sent Haruka-sempai flying again…!” Konoka pointed out. Literally, as she was pointing at a Haruka.-shaped bolt being violently tossed up from the battlefield a second time.

    “Sensei’s got her,” Setsuna countered, risking a brief glance back as Negi took after Haruka on his staff and caught her in his arms. “She’s being held in his embrace, I can’t think of anything that’d make her happier, other than Fujino-sempai’s funeral, perhaps…”

    Konoka pouted, bopping a small fist against Setsuna’s flat chest. “Setchaaaan!”

    “Not changing my mind,” Setsuna said, trying her best to not having enjoyed that all that much.

    Grinding her teeth together, Konoka began rubbing the Command Seals on her hand rather roughly. “Okay, if that’s the way you’re playing it, have it your way! If Saku-chan could summon a Servant just like that, so can I! How does this work, now… Shazam? Holy Seal thing, do your thing? Blathering blatherskite? By the Power of Greyskull? Or maybe—“

    Setsuna gasped aloud. “Ojou-sama! Remember what your grandfather said, that’s a highly dangerous procedure, not to be taken lightly…!”

    Konoka’s fist was bopping on the Seals now. “Abracadabra, Alakazam! Kimota! Master and Servant powers, activate! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!”

    “You’re only going to hurt your Magic Circuits that way,” Setsuna warned her, “you still haven’t received enough training as to master your powers, much less for something like this. If it’s another Servant what you want, I’ll ask Eva-san to help me summon mine. Look, we can see the cabin from here already, is that Kotaro-san going out…?”

    Konoka punched herself in the hand once more. “Come out already or you’re really gonna regret, dammit!” she yelled at it.

    Then a sudden lightning from above was shot from between the clouds and smacked them both through the treetops, which barely cushioned their sudden landfall enough as to stop it short of a disaster.

    From the truck, Rito shouted at the sight in wide eyed horror. “Setsuna-san! Konoe-san!”

    “Wha-What was that?!” Misora cried out as Haruan brought the vehicle to an abrupt stop. “Ruler can do that, as well…?!”

    “I don’t think it was Ruler’s doing…” Cocone cautioned, even as they all hopped from the car and headed towards the site of the violent fall. Soon, they reached a small clearing between tress that had not been there moments before. The lightning’s impact had blown several trees in all directions, and at the middle of it, in a crater, Setsuna, her clothes shredded, still cradled an open mouthed Konoka in her arms, both kneeling in the dirt as someone stood before them, gallantly striking a watchful pose under the full moonlight.

    White and pink, fragrant sakura petals flew all across the crater for some reason, seeming to softly spin in the air and wafting from the figure, that of a short, fair skinned woman in a Taisho-style Kimono that consisted of a mostly pink Hakama with a red lower half, plus long leather boots. Her large eyes were gorgeously light green, and her short hair a pale shade of blonde that was nearly pinkish, like that of the petals dancing around her. Secured around her belt, two long sheathed swords.

    “Who… Who is this woman, and why she makes me feel so threatened?! Setsuna thought frantically, pulling Konoka further against herself.

    Konoka’s heart went Ba-bump! Ba-bump! both from this proximity and from the sight of the lady now coolly addressing her, “Reporting before you, the Unit’s commander, the Servant Saber arrives. Since you are my Master, is that not right?”

    The awestruck Konoka only could nod faintly. “Ah-hah… I, I think so, at least…”

    “Damn, another one?” Misora bit her tongue, while Ala Alba cautiously stopped around the crater.

    “Oh, of course Konoe would get to summon a traditional Japanese swordswoman,” Chisame dryly noted. “Nothing unexpected about that, no sir…”

    Saber looked up the crater. “Are these your enemies, Master? Should I slay them all, or are there hostages among them? That one with glasses and a ponytail, for instance, really looks like she doesn’t want to be here at all…?”

    “Wh-What’s with these guys and wanting to kill us all as soon as they see us?!” Misa protested, moving behind Madoka and biting on her fingernails while Kugimiya just gave out a heavy sigh.
     
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  19. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    "You fought bravely, Rider," Ruler grimly said, standing over the dazed and groaning small Servant splayed across the dirt before her now. "I really wish we could have fought together for the greater good, instead of being cruelly set against each other like this. However--"

    ---

    This is literally all I could write today, what a shame. I haven't felt well, plus Internet connection issues.
     
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  20. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    The battle, while brief, had been every bit as brutal and violent as Negi had expected a duel between two legendary warriors from the past to be, at least the parts of it he could see clearly. While, judging from Haruka’s constant questions on what was going on as everything exploded around them, he was being able to get a better view and understanding of the conflict thanks to a better trained eye, there was still a lot he was missing on, too.

    Rider moved surprisingly fast from a side to another, launching lightning strikes from their foe’s sides, so much it was really difficult to pinpoint their exact location at any given moment. And while in comparison Ruler seemed slow and yet more precise, Negi suspected she only looked that sedate for Servant standards, given her speed seemed like a match for Setsuna’s.

    Ruler countered Rider’s moves with better thought, more strategic clarity, ignoring through the yapping bravado of the fast talking smaller Spirit with stoicism. Her standard spinned around to deflect most of Rider’s attacks successfully, slow but surely pushing the pink haired one back, until she was all but on them, swatting Lala and Asuna aside whenever they got too close to help Rider. Soon enough she was overpowering Rider and grinding them against the rocky ground with strong bashes of her pole weapon.

    All things considered, probably even Haruna would have found the scene too unnerving to comment on the squeaky voiced, girly Astolfo being hit hard with a long pole, had she been there. Probably.

    "You fought bravely, Rider," Ruler grimly said, standing over the dazed and groaning small Servant splayed across the dirt before her now. "I really wish we could have fought together for the greater good, instead of being cruelly set against each other like this. However--"

    And then, she tensed up and sprang aside, bolting as a pinkish streak zoomed across the air towards her, sharp glinting sword first, aiming for an armored midsection that was merely grazed. A newcomer had just presented herself, appearing from between the trees in the direction the fleeing children had taken, and now screeched to a halt between Ruler and the surprised Rider, shielding the latter with her body as she fell into a position ready for further attack.

    Ruler blinked, looking at that face, so much like her own. “I knew it… They have summoned another one…!”

    Her head snapped back towards the confused and bruised Negi, Lala, Asuna and Haruka. “Do you even realize what you’re doing?!” she asked of them. “The War is thrown off balance by your actions, and innocents might pay the price! You’re only escalating the—“

    “That will be quite enough, Ruler-san,” Haruna said, standing on her truck’s top as Keiichi drove it back into the scene with a downtrodden expression on. “You’re outnumbered now, and we can keep summoning Servants all night long if needed, so why don’t you retreat before we’re forced to do anything to that gorgeous angelic face, hmmm…?”

    “Haruna,” Chisame pointed out, sitting by her side, “it’d help our cause if you weren’t talking like a stereotypical supervillain, don’t you think?”

    “Just… Just be thankful Haruhi-sempai isn’t here too,” Madoka dazedly said.

    Ruler pondered this in a grim silence, looking at the mortals and then at Saber and the standing back up, dusting themselves off Rider, and finally at the small group approaching from uphill next, including a green haired flying girl in Meido and a leaping boy with furry ears and tail. “I won’t involve any more innocents tonight,” she decided, as she did not feel the marks of Mastery in any of these newly arrived. “But I will solve this situation yet, later if needed, one way or another. My deepest apologies,” she softly said, hitting her standard against the ground and simply vanishing without further sound, like a mirage.

    “Well, who’s sounding like a clichéd villain now?” Haruna grinned.

    “She at least sounds like the sympathetic variety!” Chisame argued.

    Kotaro stopped by the sighing Negi’s side. “Hey Four Eyes, what went on here? Don’t tell we’ve missed—“

    “Yes, yes you have, and I’m so sorry about that,” Negi laconically told him, then nodding at Yue and Nodoka. “Good evening, Ayase-san, Miyazaki-san, nice to see you’re okay. You too, Chachamaru-san. Don’t worry, Satomi-san is unhurt too.”

    Hakase folded her arms, staring at Rider. “Well. Physically, at the very least.”

    “What was that supposed to mean?” Sakurako asked.

    “Unfounded jealousy is such a terrible thing, Forehead,” Matoi sneered. “It makes you look possessive and overbearing, and who wants a woman like that?”

    Saber beheld these exchanges in silence, then shot Rider a cold glare. “State your Class,” she told them.

    The other Servant blinked. “Um? Ah, yes! I’m Astolfo, of the Rider class, thanks for the help, but I was about to launch a counterattack! Boy, your sister is good at fighting!”

    “She, she’s not my sister!” Saber protested. “Anyway, what’s with giving your name along your class, just like that?! What kind of Heroic Spirit are you?! Would anyone respect me at all, Master included, if I were telling everyone around I’m Souji Okita?!”

    Rider blinked. “Your name is Souji Okita?!”

    Saber realized what she’d just said, then blushed and shook her head violently. “Of, of course not! I’m, I’m just saying that as an example of what not to do….!”

    “Well, you’ve told me your name but not your class, so that kind of balances it out, don’t you think?” Rider argued.

    “Aaaaaarrrghhh!”

    Kotaro gawked, disbelieving. “Souji… Okita?” he revealed. “But that’s impossible, he was a man, wasn’t he?”

    Negi shrugged. “King Arthur was supposed to be a man, too.”

    Kotaro frowned. “Eh?”

    “You missed on an interesting history lecture while we were in Kyoto,” Negi calmly summed up. Then, as Saber suddenly broke into a rough fit of bloody coughing that made Konoka cry out for her, he continued, “There, how is that for proof? She even has tuberculosis, just like the historical Souji Okita…”

    “Sometimes you can be a really creepy bastard, Springfield,” his rival decided.
     
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  21. wellis

    wellis Experienced.

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    Huh. What did that history lecture involve?
     
  22. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    “Okay, so these are the Servants of Konoe and Shiina,” Evangeline would say later, taking her seat at the head of the resort’s meeting table. Of course, since she’d never planned to have meetings while building the place, it was just a large summer party table Misa had brought once. It didn’t even have enough room for everyone in the team, so the men currently had to stand aside, Negi and Kotaro included. “And your names are?” she directly addressed the two Heroic Spirits now.

    Rider grinned and saluted. “Hi yourself! I’m Astolfo the Rider, proud paladin of Charlemagne! How do you do?!”

    “Loud and proud, I see,” Evangeline grumbled. She glanced at Saber. “And you?”

    “I must say, you look quite unfazed at facing Spirits of Legend,” Saber began, “I think you aren’t aware of—“

    “That’s not what I was asking, I was asking for your name,” Eva repeated herself, scowling.

    “The only thing I’m supposed to give you as your prisoner of war, if that’s what I’m supposed to be, is my rank and unit,” Saber replied with great dignity. “I’m the Captain of the First Unit of the Shinsengumi, but that’s all you’ll get from me.”

    “Ah, so you’re Souji Okita,” Evangeline hummed. Saber paled visibly.

    Rider broke into laughter. “Ah ha ha ha! You got it right in the first try…!”

    “Rider-chan, that was not nice,” Sakurako chided them.

    “Don’t call him ‘-chan’!” Chamo protested from his current perch on Haruna’s right shoulder. “Don’t let yourselves be fooled! He may look girlish, but my nose doesn’t lie! This is a man…!”

    Negi blinked. “I don’t get it. What if he’s a man? What does that have to do with anything from this ordeal? Male or female, we’re all the same…”

    “Rider-chan, are you a man or a woman?” Makie directly asked them.

    “Well,” Rider mused aloud, “I can detect many of you wouldn’t believe me no matter what, since you seem suspicious of me for some reason, so I suppose I’ll have to show you—“

    They began to stand up and undo the belt of their skirt, but Chamo interrupted them with a loud scream. “GAHHHH! Don’t even think about that, you, you filthy deviant!”

    “I think he’s a man,” Rito opined, still bearing the marks of slashes Saber had left on his face during their way to the resort. “Otherwise, I’d have tripped and fallen on her already.”

    Saber shivered and clenched her teeth at the memory. “Master, remind me again why do you allow this being to keep on breathing…?”

    “He’s Paru and Lala-chan’s boyfriend, Saber-chan,” Konoka thusly reminded her with a gentle sigh. “Kotaro-kun? What does your nose say on this subject, then?”

    Kotaro shrugged. “He kind of smells like a man, but with some of a girl’s scent too. I dunno, I think I’m with Nerd on this one, what do we care? If he’s a man dressed like a girl or a girl who is kind of like a man or something in between or all at once, that’s their business, not ours, right?”

    “Does your code of honor allow you to hit ‘in betweens’ and ‘all at onces’ or not?” Yue pointedly asked him.

    Kotaro flinched at the question. “Then… Then I suppose I’d have to ask them to take their skirt off first…”

    “That came out very wrong,” Rito piped in.

    “If I can’t take my skirt off, you always can feel under it and check it out yourselves,” Rider innocently invited everyone in general.

    Itoshiki, Haruka and Keiichi began choking roughly in their saliva.

    “Let me see,” Haruna leaned over the table, reaching over with a hand, but then Yue just slapped said hand out of the way before her hand could fondle around. “Hey! Would your rather keep the intrigue going for a dozen chapters more?”

    “Would you like to keep your hand for another dozen of chapters or more?” Yue countered. “Then don’t ever try that again in front of children!”

    “Lala-chi!” Haruna whined. “Yue’s being mean to me again!”

    Rider giggled even as Saber just groaned in annoyance, with Matoi quietly sneaking behind her to pat her shoulder in sympathy. “Ah, your friends are all very funny people, Master!” they told Sakurako. “Please introduce them to me? Only the most important twelve, please, that’s the most I can remember of a given cast at any given time, and frankly, your cast is way too big.”

    “Um, yeah, well,” Sakurako began pointing at those around the table. “Twelve, huh? That’s my girlfriend Satomi-chan, and my roommates and best friends Misa-chan and Madoka-chan, and our dear teacher Negi-kun, and Evangeline-sama our advisor, and Chachamaru-chan her maid, and Ayaka our Class Rep, and Konoka-chan our headmaster’s granddaughter, and Setsuna-san her husband and Asuna-chan her roommate, and Honya and Yue the librarians. Those are the ones you really should know.”

    “I’m a goddess!” Skuld cried out, greatly offended. “How comes the librarians rank above me?!”

    “And, and I’m the Student Council’s Vice President!” Haruka added in turn.

    “Is that true? You’re Master’s husband?” Okita asked Setsuna.

    Setsuna began rubbing her own temples. “Only… Only according to the laws of Ohtori Academy. It’s a long story, really…”

    “Helloooooo!” Skuld waved a hand up. “Is nobody impressed I’ve just said I’m a goddess?! Aren’t you even gonna try challenging that statement…?!”

    “I am a warrior for the Roman Church, so I don’t believe in Pagan gods, sorry,” Rider apologized.

    Satomi smirked. “Come to think about it, I believe I like you a bit better now.”
     
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  23. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Kyoto saga of Unequally Rational and Emotional. I'll copypaste that segment here as soon as I have the time for it.
     
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  24. tekablade

    tekablade I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    So this is a bit long, so it's in a spoiler for any who want to read it.
     
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  25. wellis

    wellis Experienced.

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    Batman was kind of a random add.
     
  26. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Ever since joining Ala Alba, Hasegawa Sora had tried her best to just meld into the background, which had not been difficult for someone like her. Fear of overshadowing her younger sister Chisame, plus the fact she only owed membership to kissing a boy nearly ten years her junior in the mouth, had made her quite uncomfortable with her role in the team.

    Which was why being singled out by Evangeline after revision of all of their Command Seals had suitably freaked her out.

    “M-Me, are you s-sure?!” she panicked, even as Evangeline just let go of her hand. “That can’t be, I don’t have any magical talent! Surely, Negi-sensei, or even Ayaka-san, could make these summons before I could…!”

    The tiny vampire frowned at her. “These things don’t always correspond exactly with overall magical talent, girl. Out of all of you, only your Seals are ripe for the summon. The others would better wait until they fully manifest. On the other hand, you’d better hurry up already.”

    Sora grimaced, scratching the itching back of her hand. “Uwaaa… H-Hadn’t you said you never took part in one of these Wars yourself? M-Maybe you’re making some sort of… mistake…?”

    “What a ridiculous notion!” Eva sneered, gesturing around to lead them out of the room. “I should have you lashed at for it, but I have curiosity to see what kind of Spirit will heed your call.”

    “Don’t let her get to you,” Chisame advised, placing a hand on her older sister’s shoulder while they followed the resort’s owner down the main building’s main corridor. “I’m sure you’ll reel something useful in.”

    “Someone, not ‘something’,” Rider said, frowning a little for the first time since summoning. “We’re not animals, well, most of us aren’t, although I understand you also could summon certain Mythical Beasts, but—“

    “Being an animal doesn’t make you a thing either!” Chamo protested furiously.

    “Agreed,” Kotaro nodded somberly. “Tell me I’m half-thing and I’ll blow your teeth off, Servant or otherwise.”

    “Don’t bully the legendary beings, mutt, that’s my job,” Eva chastised him without looking back.

    As Sora sighed miserably, Keiichi patted her shoulder. “Easy, easy there, Sora-chan. No matter who answers to you, the rest of us will be here to back you two up, no matter what. Right?”

    Sora blushed slightly. “Th-Thank you, Sempai…” she stammered while Skuld just rolled her eyes back.

    Soon they reached Evangeline’s main library, and Nodoka and Yue, who had never been there before, briefly stopped breathing and felt twin dizziness spells as their eyes caught on the gigantic chamber filled with ancient books, large and busy enough as to put even Eishun’s Kyoto library to shame. Eva smirked. “Impressed, girls?”

    Yue nodded dazedly while Nodoka turned at Chachamaru and asked her, “You… Do you take care of this library, l-let us say… at least once a week?”

    Chachamaru nodded. “Yes, I do.”

    Nodoka whimpered softly. “The world is so unfair, sometimes…”

    “Words to live by,” Eva approved, moving along to pick a thick gray tome from a table and handing it to Sora. “When you called and told me of your little… no, scratch that, your huge problem, I bothered enough as to look for this, which I once borrowed from the original Tohsaka patriarch. And never gave it back. Because I’m evil. I marked the page and even underlined the chant you have to pronounce while standing on that circle,” she pointed at a magical circle, not too different from that needed for a Pactio, drawn on the nearby wooden floor, “and your Servant should appear. It’s easy enough even a milksop screwup like you should pull it off.”

    “Wow, you sure care about us, to have all of this ready in such a short notice, Eva-sama,” Matoi noted.

    “You wouldn’t believe the things boredom drives us immortals to do,” Eva grouched. “Well, girl?” she clapped impatiently at Sora. “The circle won’t remain useable all day long! Stop wasting my time, unlimited as it is!”

    “Ah, ah, y-yes, sorry…” Sora gulped, while Negi, Keiichi and Chachamaru whispered words of encouragement at her, Chisame just standing back and lightly biting on her knuckles in restrained worry. Shakily, she stepped ahead onto the circle and began reading aloud from the marked passage.

    "F-Fuh- For the elements, Silver and Iron. F-For the foundation, stone and the Archduke of Contracts. F-For the ancestor, the great master… Schweinorg?" she read the difficult foreign name to the best of her capacities.

    The lines of the circle began glowing, much like they did for a Pactio incantation, and Evangeline allowed herself a harsh smile. Ayaka, Negi, Lala, Yue, Misa and Cocone all leaned closer, eyes shining with curiosity.

    "C-C-Close the gates of the cardinal directions," Sora continued, knees wobbling. She felt like fainting, now. "C-C-Come forth from the Crown, and follow the forked road leading to the Kingdom."

    “You’re doing fine,” Eva spurred Sora on. “Don’t falter now, you moron.”

    "F-Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill. R-Repeat now, repeat five times. B-But when each is filled, destroy it. Set!"

    “Nee-san,” Chisame gulped loudly.

    "H-Heed my words. My, my word creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny. You, heeding the call of the Holy Grail and obeying my will and reason, answer me."

    A soft current of air and wisps of mist started rising from the circle, but the summoner kept her blood cool and her drive firm as best as she could. For Chisame’s sake, she told herself. She closed her eyes only to facilitate her concentration, blocking all visual distractions from the goal etched into her mind, and the just read words she’d memorized.

    "I… I hereby swear that I shall be all the good in the world. That I shall defeat all evil in the world. You, seven Heavens, clad in the three great words of power, come forth from the circle of binding!" she shouted, opening her large brown eyes again. "Guardian of the Scales!"

    And the whole room seemed to explode in a huge ball of expanding darkness. Everyone coughed and stumbled through the dense fog that had suddenly filled the library, but soon enough it passed, and a new figure was visibly standing before Sora.

    This one was sort of difficult to describe. It was a girl roughly shorter than Yuuna but roughly taller than Makie, and clearly far younger than either, even if her attire tried its best to say otherwise. She was pale and slim, with short light hair and strange, quiet but deep eyes that bore into your own gaze with a soft but unnerving intensity. She wore a skimpy black top that hugged her shapely torso very tightly, even smaller black bottoms, and tall black boots on her rather long, disturbingly curvy for her apparent-age legs. Even Evangeline, who kept a robot servant in Meido cosplay around her constantly and wasn't shy of wearing very revealing negligees around very young boys, thought that outfit was kind of pushing it for a real little girl. The arms of the Servant, under her elbows, were covered in thick bandages, with a black glove only in her left hand, and there was a large collection of huge sheathed knives hanging all around her waist and hips.

    "So… what manner of Servant would this be, then?" Saber wondered aloud, vigilantly circling around Konoka, her sword at the ready, and mirroring Setsuna’s own motions. "It sure doesn’t look like she belongs to any of the Knight classes!"

    Sora herself paused at this Servant, pale and very unsure of what to think about her, until the Servant herself spoke for her first, with a distant, quiet and eerie voice. "We're Servant Assassin," she said, faintly sounding like some form of British. "Are you our Mum?"
     
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  27. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    “What… What is your name?” Sora could finally stammer, through her shocked stupor.

    “We’ve told you already, Mother,” the small Servant replied quietly. “We are Assassin. Does that disappoint you?”

    “What do you… No! No!” Sora gasped, almost panicking. All around her, Ala Alba, assorted guests, and the two prior Servants were falling into cautious defense positions. “I, I mean what’s your real name, n-not your Class!”

    “Oh,” Assassin said. “You may call us Jack, we suppose. Should we kill these people around us now? We feel hostile intents from them.”

    “See?! See?!” Misa cried out, this time hiding behind a frowning Ku Fei, who promptly grabbed her by the head and pulled her back to her original spot. “That’s always their first reaction! Eventually, one of them’s going to act first and ask second!”

    Misora shuddered. “The worst part is there’s a lot of logic to that fear!”

    Sora paled horribly. “J-Jack! Of course you s-shouldn’t! These are my friends!”

    “Friends?” Assassin asked, as if the concept were completely alien to her.

    Makie snapped her fingers. “Ah! The giant killer!”

    Ayaka scoffed. “What?”

    “Well, her name’s Jack and she’s an Assassin, right?” Makie asked. “So she has to be Jack, who climbed up the beanstalk and killed a giant and took his gold. I mean, who else could she be?”

    Negi rasped very awkwardly. “Yes, well, about that, Makie-san…”

    “We haven’t ever killed a giant, but we will do so if Mum wants us to,” Assassin said.

    “This girl,” Rider decided, “is very sinister. I mean, who needs a command to do the right thing and kill a giant?”

    Saber nodded sagely. “Definitely a shady character, this.”

    Sora swallowed hard, crouching down to put her trembling hands on Assassin’s shoulders. “P-Poor thing, y-you’re an orphan, aren’t you? W-Well, I haven’t ever been a mother b-before, but if you need me, I, I guess I’ll do my best, p-please be patient with me…”

    Assassin nodded. “We don’t mind if you’re an unused mother as long as you’re willing. Saves us the effort of carving you up and crawling into your womb.”

    Sora paled even further, and so did all others around her, even Eva and Chachamaru. “Ah, ha ha, y-yes, I see…” Sora said stiffly.

    Negi recomposed himself first and pushed his glasses up. “W-Well, Miss Assassin, I hope you’ll understand, we don’t carve our own mothers up around here, so any attempts of violence upon—“

    “Who are you?” Assassin coldly asked him.

    “He’s your father,” said Evangeline, who had recovered next.

    “NO, HE ISN’T!-!” shouted Ayaka, Misa, Chisame, Misora and Haruka all at once, while Negi lost all color on his skin once again.

    “Well, he’s the closest thing to one she has now, isn’t he?” Eva shrugged, while Chachamaru heroically repressed a sudden urge to go Terminator and start shooting at her master. “Being Hasegawa’s partner in magic and all of that.” She looked at Chisame. “By the way, family members usually share class compatibility, so odds are you’ll summon an Assassin as well.”

    “I already have a good idea on who’ll be their first target, too!” Chisame growled at her.

    “Will hers wear pants, though?” Matoi worried.

    “Father…” Jack said, as if the word was barely any more familiar to her than ‘friends’. She looked at Negi, who almost jumped out of his skin but remained rooted on his feet. “That means you’ll be taking care of us too, doesn’t it?”

    “Ah, ah, of course I’ll be glad to help whenever I’m n-needed…” he babbled on.

    “Now, now!” Ayaka began to protest. “I’m afraid you’re misunderstanding this whole situation, Miss…!”

    Assassin pulled a knife out with a simple twist of her wrist and glanced dangerously at the suddenly backpedalling Ayaka. “Mother, this is what they call a homewrecker, isn’t she?” she asked Sora, even as in a blink Asuna had appeared between them and Ayaka, aiming her sword at Assassin. “How many pieces should we slice her into?”

    “N-N-None at all! S-S-She’s my friend too!” her Master wailed. “P-Please behave, Assassin!”

    Evangeline gestured at Chisame now. “And this, Assassin, is your aunt Chisame. Be extra careful not to slice her up, as that’d make your Mum and Dad extra sad, and you don’t want that, do you?”

    “Thanks for that…” Chisame sweated cold. “I think…”

    “Aunt? What’s that?” Assassin asked.

    Rider scratched their head. “Nnnnn, she doesn’t know what an aunt is? Shouldn’t the Grail have filled her on that?”

    Saber coughed a bit before answering. “Well, the Grail only gives you the information on the modern world you would have as a contemporary version of what you were in life. If you were a peasant who picked up and sword and fought, you wouldn’t be given a scientist’s knowledge, for instance, right? I only can guess this was some sort of extreme pariah who grew up in complete ignorance…”

    Assassin nodded. “We never went to school, no. Are you our aunt too?”

    “The two of them are your older sisters,” Evangeline cheekily told her. “And I’m your lovely grandmother, cruelly abandoned by your no-good grandfather you should try and slay on sight. I’m the head of this family, and you and everyone here owe me the utmost respect…”

    “Master!” Negi raised in voice in annoyance.

    “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you, Master?” Chachamaru stoically asked her.
     
  28. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Working for Chao Lingshen, Yuuna supposed, was not that different from working for a glamorous super villain in one of those old spy movies and the like. You went to the elaborate underground base after hours, reported yourself to the boss, and turned in all the secrets you’d learned from other extracurricular activities (basketball team aside, that is) as a good mole should. Difference from meeting with Chao and meeting with those James Bond villains was, Chao was much more casual about it all. And hopefully she wouldn’t dunk those who failed her into pits filled with acid or sharks or volcanic lava.

    At least Yuuna thought so, not that she wished to ever find out personally. You never knew.

    Sitting across her and Skuld at the large meeting table and surrounded by the usual delicious, luxurious meals, with a well armed Mana standing by her side like a good paid enforcer should, Chao chuckled cagily at the Akashi girl’s story. “So that’s the way it is, ufufu!” she sounded rather amused, nibbling at her nikuman. Yuuna had just begun munching on her own again, with more concern, while Skuld had already skipped ahead to her large cup of ice cream. “Nice, nice! This should make things all that much easier…”

    “Would it, though?” Yuuna asked. “I mean, doesn’t it throw your carefully arranged plans for Negi-kun all off balance? This is kind of a big deal, you know…”

    “Yuuna-chan,” Chao said, “hiding magic from the masses will be much more difficult for the authorities after this, neh? Think about it! The Headmaster’s already in a tight spot, his loyalties compromised, his attention distracted from what I’m about to do. And I haven’t even made a single move yet.”

    “Well, that’s good for us, I guess,” Yuuna allowed, “but still, you’ve said you’ll have to fight Negi-kun sooner or later. That’ll be much harder to do, if not impossible, with one of those Servants backing him up. Whoever that is, I’ll bet they’ll be much stronger than those three. And even if they weren’t, I still wouldn’t use my Servant to fight Negi-kun myself, for you or anyone else…”

    “I know, I know!” Chao lightly laughed her concern off. “Let’s just say Negi-bouzou isn’t the only one with an ace under his sleeve!”

    Then she held her right hand up, and peeled off a thin layer of artificial skin from its back, revealing a shiny red set of Command Seals vaguely shaped like a stylized Chinese lantern over her actual flesh. “Or peeking out of it, in this case, he he!”

    Yuuna and Skuld immediately choked into what they’d been swallowing.

    Skuld recovered first, red-faced. “How… How come?! You hadn’t told me of this before!”

    Chao shrugged her shoulders. “It happened so shortly ago, I didn’t have the time to inform you yet.”

    “But you told her!” Skuld accused, pointing at the stonefaced Mana.

    “She didn’t,” the mercenary replied flatly. “I just take surprises this well.”

    Soryu Asuka Langley, wearing an open lab coat over her school uniform, then casually passed by before the room’s door, waving by without stopping. “Hey Chao, how’s that thing with the mythic spirit from the past going?”

    Chao groaned to herself while Skuld glared at her. “Mana, we really should start keeping that door closed. It’s in bad form for us evil geniuses and uber efficient enforcers to do otherwise, ne…”

    “H-How could this be?!” Yuuna demanded. “You don’t have a Pactio with Negi-kun, so… Ohmigod! Y-You kissed him sometime while he slept, didn’t you?! Gross, I expected so much better from you! Even Iinchou wouldn’t fall that low!”

    “I didn’t do such thing,” Chao said. “It’s just I’m related to Negi-bouzou, and it appears that somehow, for this particular situation, bonds of blood matter as much as those of magical partnership, yo!”

    “You are?!” Shock followed shock in Yuuna. “Then, then that means that sister of his, the one who goes around crossdressing as Tuxedo Kamen, is she…”

    Chao shook her head. “No, no, no. Well, I don’t know for sure yet, but I doubt it. My links to Negi-bouzou are much more direct than hers.”

    Yuuna paled. “Oh dear crap,” she muttered. “You’re his actual sister, aren’t you. That’s why you haven’t ever introduced us to your old man, that Thousand Master is a shifty guy after all and Eva-chan was right all along…”

    Chao smiled. “That’s a very clever guess you have there, Yuuna-chan!” was all she said on the matter.

    Yuuna gulped. “And… your Servant, have you already… you know…”

    “No, not yet. Unlike you guys, I’m aiming for a certain, specific single Legendary Spirit. I just called my contacts in Italy and asked them to deliver a relic I’ll need for what I intend to do. It shouldn’t take long to arrive, perhaps one day or two…”

    “Italy?” Skuld frowned.

    “Italy!” Chao confirmed, nodding. “What, did you think anyone but history’s greatest genius would suit my needs?”

    “Albert Einstein was Italian?” Yuuna doubted. “Whoa, this day just keeps getting weirder and weirder…!”
     
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  29. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

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    Hahahahahahaha. No Yuuna, he was a Germanic Jew, if memory serves. I have no idea why I find this so funny, but I cannot stop laughing. I can understand why Yuuna could come up with that answer, but I still find it funny.
     
  30. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    “C-Couldn’t I just ask her to, I don’t know, stay invisible in that astral form of hers while my roommate’s around?” Sora stammered nervously, still looking around to see if Jack was nearby, even if Saber and Rider were supposed to be distracting her while Sora talked with Evangeline. “Th-That way I wouldn’t even have to explain her, you know, her presence…”

    Eva shrugged. “Sure, you do that. Tell the emotionally deprived, highly unstable, murder-go-lucky Jack the Ripper desperate for constant motherly approval you want her to be invisible at nearly all times, so you don’t have to tell others she exists. I’m sure she won’t take that as a sign you’re ashamed of her and won't carve you up with her knives, leaving her free to look for another mother.”

    Sora swallowed the huge knot in her throat. “O-Okayyyyyy… I think, I believe I can come up with an excuse for Subaru-san after all…”

    ---

    “So this is Jackie-chan, the adorable little daughter I’ve just adopted from England!” Sora would later that day blurt out clumsily, tightly grabbing Assassin’s shoulders from behind as they stood in the living room of Sora’s college quarters. “I h-hope she won’t be a bother, w-we’ve already arranged the papers with the H-Headmaster, s-sorry I couldn’t tell you before, it was all so sudden…!”

    Assassin, clad in a very pretty yellow sundress and matching sandals, bowed somewhat stiffly to the stunned, short haired and green haired Subaru Ryoko. “We have been told you are no whore, so you have nothing to fear from us. Thank you for keeping Mum company until now.”

    Ryoko took on these words with even more perplexity, then asked Sora, “Is this a normal part of taking membership in an English Research Club, seriously?!”
     
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