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OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by OverMaster, Aug 27, 2018.

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  1. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    There were good and bad things about being in the Drama Club, as there are in everything, and Murakami Natsumi always tried her best to not be, well, a drama queen about it. She would give her clubmates the benefit of the doubt whenever they would draw straws to see who’d end up cleaning the stage after practices, and if Natsumi was the one the most often tasked with such duties, well, Natsumi would stomach it out and not jump into pointless accusations she never could win, even if dammit, by now she really wanted to argue for a normal system of taking turns per day of the month.

    The fact her clubmates were all actresses and actors at least as qualified as she was made it difficult to tell whether they ever cheated or not, in any instance.

    Regardless, another day of practice and then cleaning was done already, and Natsumi had finished setting the broom, mop and bucket in the storage room. She was locking the theater up from the outside when she realized she was being watched from a certain distance. Since it was late, her first intinct was to grow panicky, but seeing the person watching her from not so afar was a woman calmed her down, somewhat. Not so much, since she studied with Haruna and lived with Chizuru after all. But a little at least.

    The woman was tall and rather reminiscing of Chizuru in figure, but with a more casual, indolent attitude to her standing position. Too mature looking to be a contemporary of Natsumi, so she guessed she had to be a senior, perhaps even a college student. She had long and wavy hot pink hair, with an even longer red coat that generously showed off her large cleavage, plus tight white pants, and tall black boots. She had beautiful blue eyes, and around her neck, there was a brown choker collar almost attached to her vest. A long, but thin enough as to not disturb her overall beauty, scar crossed her smiling face diagonally.

    “Oi!” the woman greeted Natsumi with a wide, jaunty smile and wave of hand, walking slowly towards the petite junior with a playful, mayhaps drunken sway to her steps. “Good afternoon, is this the Theater Club of Mahora?”

    “Um, y-yes, how do you do,” Natsumi said warily, looking up and down at the bustier female’s quite accomplished choice of getup. “You… You are here for an audition, aren’t you, Sempai? I… I must congratulate you on your costuming, but we aren’t having any pirate plays for the Festival, we’re aiming for a younger audience this year…”

    “Don’t you say,” the attractive lady grinned, stopping shortly before her, hands on her hips. “What a pity! Your name’s Murakami Natsumi, right?”

    Natsumi blinked, surprised at the exact wording of the question. Having strangers in costumes asking for the Club was an everyday Mahora occurrence, having someone come specifically asking for her name was unheard of. Could this be… her first ever fan? She nodded slow and rigidly. “Uh, uh-huh, and you would happen to be, Miss…”

    “Call me Rider, just Rider,” the woman placed a fist on her own chest. “Are you a student of Professor Negi Springfield?”

    “Y-Yes, I am…”

    “He of the local English Research Society?”

    “Last time I heard, yes, but why…”

    “Just to be sure, there are a lot of eccentric kids in that club, too, all of them spending a lot of time away from you guys doing secretive, hush-hush stuff that has everyone gossiping really juicy stuff, right?”

    Natsumi already was squinting in mild disgust at this slimy onee-san who saw fit to keep up with the junior high rumor mill when a set of particularly nasty memories resurfaced. “Oh, I, I think I see now… You’re here to settle something or another with Negi-sensei, aren’t you? Y-You aren’t related to what with went on in Kyoto, right? L-Look, if you’re looking for Konoka-san…”

    “I don’t know anything about any Kyoto,” the woman shrugged that off, interrupting the terrified Natsumi, “but yes, I guess you could say I’m here because of this Negi lad. My Master, you’ll see, has a suspicion about him and sent me along to, shall we say, fish around for a response from him, do you get my point here, Hon?”

    “N-Not exactly, I’m sorry, b-but I can give you, I mean him, a message from him, I mean you, as soon as you, I mean I, see him, I mean him, tomorrow in classes, since you’ll let me go, won’t you…”

    Rider sighed deep and sadly. “I’m afraid I won’t, no. Nothing personal, it’s just, well, Master is kind of too much of a coward to go out and directly face this lad, see? So, since the word is he cares so much about all of his students, we figured out safest bet to lure him to us would be going after of you, but not one who could fight back, no offense meant, kid.”

    “Ah. But I’m going to start screaming for help now.”

    “We’ll be gone long before you’re even finished,” Rider told her, almost sympathetically, and lunged on her.
     
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  2. alethiophile

    alethiophile Shadowed Philosopher Administrator

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    Something about this line makes me laugh a lot.
     
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  3. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Chisame didn’t like being visited by her classmates in general, but there were categories on how much she disliked it. A visit from Kagurazaka was something to dread, since Kagurazaka wouldn’t come unless there was a real emergence behind it. A visit from Iinchou was just a weekly annoyance, since she wanted to spend time with Sensei so often. A visit from Sasaki was just a semi-frequent bothersome halt to Chiu’s activities, since it meant Makie needed help with her studies again.

    Visits from Naba and Murakami were rare, but whenever they happened they were among the most uncomfortable, not so much because of Murakami, whom Chisame didn’t mind much, but because of Naba, who was one of those persons who never do anything bad or wrong and yet manage to be completely overbearing and suffocating by their mere presence. At least for people like Chisame; the cheerleaders and Ayaka just found her a total delight to be around.

    Having Naba come along without Murakami, though, was something that had never happened before, and Chisame had found it to be completely alien and unnerving from the second she had opened the door for her and seen her standing there, all alone and not smiling for once. Even before Naba said the laconic words that immediately made Negi jump up from his nearby chair.

    “I’m afraid Natsumi-chan might have been kidnapped.”

    Moments later, Negi, Chizuru, Chisame, Satomi, Matoi, and a Chamo who clung to Negi’s shoulder while discreetly looking at Chizuru’s cleavage sat around the kitchen table, while the neighboring young woman slid a note across the table towards the boy.

    “This was slipped under our front door minutes ago, just as I was wondering what was taking Natsumi-chan so long,” Chizuru tensely said. “She isn’t taking my calls, and I was about to call the Dorm Mother on it, but this made me come to you instead, Sensei.”

    Gulping, Negi picked the note up and read it aloud. It was typed on rather than handwritten, offering no obvious clues on the sender yet. “Negi Springfield: Come to the old Astronomy Observatory this midnight with your two roommates, if you want to see the girl again. Don’t alert anyone else no matter what.”

    Negi paled visibly, putting the letter down. “Oh, goodness. What kind of people…”

    Chisame frowned at Naba. “I don’t get it. The message was for us, so why to slip it under your door? Doesn’t that beat the purpose of not wanting others involved?”

    Chizuru shrugged. “Perhaps this individual, whoever they are, is afraid of a direct confrontation with Sensei, and left the note with me knowing I’d bring it to him. This is some enemy you’ve made with those martial arts you’ve been learning with Ku-san, isn’t it, Sensei?”

    “I… I have no way of knowing, really,” Negi nervously said. “But of course, I won’t allow anything else to happen to Murakami-san, I—“

    “Or is this,” Naba’s voice sounded sharper and more critical now, yet ever so gentle, “related to those hoodlums who attacked our class trip in Kyoto instead? If I recall correctly the explanations we were given, they were after Konoka-san so they could ransom her for her family’s fortune?”

    Negi winced. “N-No, I doubt that, those people have been… dealt with already. Even if this was done by them, they would have gone directly after Konoka-san…”

    “I supposed that much,” Chizuru nodded. “Well, since it’s obviously a mundane, even if still obviously grievous and unacceptable, matter that should clearly fall under the staff’s jurisdiction, I’ll take these news to the Headmaster now that you’ve confirmed my—“

    “No, wait, not so fast!” Chisame gasped, even as Satomi took the letter from Negi and began studying it with a special set of goggles she had fished out from under the table. “You heard it yourself, what if they hurt Theater Girl over this?! Do you care so little about your roommate?!”

    “Natsumi-chan means the whole world to me, Chisame-san,” Naba told her, extremely serious. “If I look calmed now, it’s because I already spent minutes panicking over this back at our apartment, and because I know I won’t help her any if I don’t try and keep a cool head about it. But, since you are just two average classmates, an obsessive stalker, a completely normal ermine and a young man who has studied some kenpo, I’m afraid we must trust this whole ugly affair to the proper authorities, not you. I just wanted you to know…”

    “I’m a deep lover, not a… that thing you called me,” Matoi quietly said, gloomily offended.

    “There are traces of the same residual magical energy left behind when Sakurako, Konoka and Sora-san made their summons on this paper,” Hakase coldly reported, folding the note and handing it back to Chizuru. “I only can conclude that whoever wrote this is another Master who successfully completed the invocation of their Servant, and is luring one of the best known local mages and his two closest known affiliates into a bid to determine whether they are Masters as well or not. Oh, and for the sake of avoiding further miscommunications, Naba-san, Negi-sensei is an adept of the dark crafts of what you would call magic, and we are his two tightest companions in that dangerous lifestyle. Chisame and I, that is, not the stalker.”

    “Oh, I see, that would explain quite a few things, actually,” Chizuru unflappably said, while Matoi fumed angrily, Chisame slammed both hands on her own face, and Negi shrunk back on his seat, hideously pale and shriveled, Chamo tensing up with interest.

    “Of course, that is supposed to be an extremely well kept secret, so we’d appreciate you to help us keep it from… um, the Narutaki sisters,” Satomi further confided to Chizuru. “Well, it’s not a secret THAT well kept in our classroom, but otherwise, well, it is… sort of…”

    “I can’t decide whether being offended you kept this from us while telling everyone else but the twins, or flattered you put our safety above that of all those others,” Chizuru said. “I believe I will choose believing the latter.”

    Satomi nodded while Negi continued slumping down his chair. “That would probably be for the best, yes…”
     
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  4. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Negi sighed, standing from the chair and rolling his sleeves up. “Okay,” he said. “Going there without a Servant is obviously a suicide, so I’ll have to jump the gun and summon mine before planned. Chizuru-san, please go to the kitchen and bring me a knife.”

    “Knife, coming up,” Chizuru nodded, obeying quickly as she diligently made her way out the room.

    “A-At least have the decency to freak out!” Chisame called out after her. “Kakizaki, Kagurazaka, Suzushiro, they all freaked out!” Then she glared at Negi. “Okay, fine, if you really are going to do this stupid thing, then we go right after you!”

    “You heard the Headmaster,” Negi reminded her, “performing more than one summon in the same place one right after another is an extremely dangerous proposition. I don’t think you should even be going at all…”

    Before Chisame and Satomi could protest, Chizuru came back holding a huge butcher’s knife. “Will this be enough?”

    Chisame gasped. “You had to pick the largest one we have, didn’t you?! Dammit, it was right at the bottom of the last drawer, too! Did you specifically look for the biggest we could supply?!”

    “Since it is much bigger than what any of us would ever need in our daily routines, and I don’t remember ever buying it, I’m more worried about what you were saving that knife for, Chisame,” a vaguely concerned Hakase stated.

    Matoi shrugged. “Eh. I have way bigger ones on me at all times.”

    Negi accepted said domestic blade with a small nod. “Yes, this should suffice nicely enough, thank you very much, Chizuru-san. Now, you might wish to leave the room, so you wouldn’t have to watch what transpires next…”

    “Oh, are you going to sacrifice Chisame-san, Hakase-san, Sempai or the ermine for some sort of eldritch power up?” Chizuru asked while the other girls and Chamo all choked in their saliva. “I’m honored you’d hold Natsumi-chan in such high esteem, but unless it’s the ermine, I’m afraid I must object…”

    Negi shook his head, kneeling down, grabbing Chamo, and pulling a piece of chalk out of his fur. “No, I’m not… that kind of mage. I’m going to summon a Servant, a Heroic Spirit who will help me rescue Natsumi-san. However, I’m not fully sure what manner of spirit will heed my call regardless of my intent, and Sora-san already summoned Jack the Ripper, so you might be safer elsewhere…”

    “I’ll take my chances, thanks,” Chizuru noted as Negi began drawing a copy of the circle he’d seen Evangeline draw for Sora in the resort. Then she asked Chisame, “Why would your sister summon Jack the Ripper for, anyway?”

    “Chisame was right, you really should be panicking right now. This is not normal,” Satomi said, before asking Negi, “Sensei, won’t you be using one of your many relics for this invocation? Surely, if there ever was a time for a collection of antiquities such as yours, this is it.”

    Negi stood back and backed away from the just completed circle. “I thought about that myself, back in the resort, but I’ve decided that, since the Throne of Heroes is beyond time and one can summon heroes from any point of human history, be present, past or even future, I’ll use some of my blood as the catalyst for the greatest hero I ever could think of. I speak, of course, of my father, the legendary Thousand Master.”

    “Oh, what a huge surprise,” Chisame dryly snorted. “My heart almost stopped from the sheer shock. What a tweeeest…”

    “Wait, wait, if you summon your father now, and later you find your father for real…” Matoi doubted, “… how will that even work? Would you have two fathers, or what?”

    Negi blinked at her. “And the downside to that would be…?”

    Matoi sighed. “Never mind, for a moment I forgot who I was talking to. Please carry on.”

    Negi nodded and began chanting under his breath, closing his eyes. "For the elements, Silver and Iron. For the foundation, stone and the Archduke of Contracts. For the ancestor, the great master Schweinorg…"

    As the girls waited standing aside, with Chisame biting on her finger nails without realizing it, Satomi asked Chamo, who had perched himself on his shoulder, “Just so we are clear here, *I* could use some of Sensei’s relics for *my* summon should I wish to, couldn’t I?”

    The small animal shrugged. “I don’t think he’d oppose, since you’ll have to do it sooner or later anyway, and he’ll want you to be well provided.”

    "Close the gates of the cardinal directions," Negi continued, oblivious to everything else as a weak light began erupting from the floor. "Come forth from the Crown, and follow the forked road leading to the Kingdom..."

    “Oh,” Chizuru said faintly. “Ermine-san can talk, too…?”

    “I insist you’re talking all of this too lightly!” Chisame all but shouted, rubbing her own temples up. “Also, your priorities are all skewed! Someone’s just about to call on some dead magical warrior, or one who hasn’t even died yet, and you worry about the freaking white weasel?!”

    "Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill. Repeat now, repeat five times. But when each is filled, destroy it. Set!"

    Chizuru not-so-gently poked two fingers into Chamo’s eyes. “This is for all these times you’ve watched over us in the bath, then,” she said, her tone still as calm and polite as ever.

    “Animal abuse…!” the ermine whined.

    Negi made a slight cut on his arm with the edge of the knife, letting drops of his blood fall onto the circle. He didn’t even wince, and his voice remained firm, which was the first thing that actually seemed to impress Chizuru since entering the apartment. "Heed my words. My word creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny. You, heeding the call of the Holy Grail and obeying my will and reason, answer me!

    Negi breathed out wheezily, as if straining under the effort, even as the circle began glowing in a bright blood red under the feet, gaining the girls’ full attention. By now even Chizuru looked tense and more than a bit fearful.

    "I hereby swear that I shall be all the good in the world! That I shall defeat all evil in the world! You, seven Heavens, clad in the three great words of power, come forth from the circle of binding!" he shouted, opening his large brown eyes again. "Guardian of the Scales!"

    “Ara, ara…” Chizuru said, awestruck, placing a hand on her cheek.

    “Father-in-law…” Hakase quietly whispered to herself.

    Chisame blinked twice. “What was that?!”

    “N-Nothing!” Satomi said, looking aside awkwardly.

    And then, amidst a sudden and overwhelming red haze coming from the floor and swarming all over the room, not with an explosion of light but with a spreading of oozing uneasiness, it happened. A figure stood up, appearing right before Negi, at the middle of the circle.

    This was a person in white and red armor, their head fully covered by a helmet armed with two tall long horns. The fully concealing suit of protection made it completely impossible to guess their age, race, or even gender from a first sight. They held a sword, one as impressive looking and large as that of Asuna, but also in crimson red and white, and ragged and twisted in shape, all sharp angles, wicked and bizarre in appearance. Not the blade of a noble warrior but that of a savage killer. This person looked icily at all the gathered, with aggressive intent and the manner of a barely restrained brute, taking several eternal seconds before speaking at them with clear contempt.

    “I am Servant Saber,” the newcomer addressed them all. “Which one of you would dare calling themselves my Master?”
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2019
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  5. alethiophile

    alethiophile Shadowed Philosopher Administrator

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    Lol.
     
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  6. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    A preview.

    ---

    A Hairy Question.

    “There’s something I don’t understand about how your powers work!” Misa told Karin as they sparred in the resort, or more accurately as Karin kicked Misa’s ass all over the arena, both girls already mostly naked by now. “If no part of you can ever be hurt at all, how do you cut your hair and nails?!”

    “What a stupid question!” Karin growled, lunging at her again with her long mallet. “Obviously, I can because… because… because…!”

    And then she stopped complete and suddenly, much to Misa’s relief, and her eyes grew wider.

    ---

    Martha stared in sheer disbelief at the awkwardly sheepish Karin. “You want me to ask the Lord WHAT?!”
     
  7. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Well, for a What If story this probably has gone as far as it should have, but just in case there’s any interest for it, here’s how I would assign further Servants to the Unequally cast. Shirou keeps Artoria, Illya keeps Heracles, Bazett keeps Cu, and Akashi-sensei keeps Medea, by the way:

    Chisame: Assassin (Osakabehime)

    Satomi: Caster (Edison)

    Ayaka: Archer (Paris)

    Haruka: Berserker (Kintoki)

    Yuuna: Archer (Moriarty)

    Haruna: Foreigner (Hokusai)

    Misa: Lancer (Bradamante)

    Madoka: Saber (Charlemagne)

    Setsuna: Rider (Marie)

    Misora: Rider (Martha)

    Cocone: Saber (Altera)

    Matoi: Berserker (Kiyohime)

    Chamo: Rider (Blackbeard)

    Evangeline: Assassin (Carmilla)

    Chachazero: Berserker (Frankenstein)

    Lala: Caster (Blavatsky)

    Rito: Saber (Fergus)

    Skuld: Lancer (Brynhild)

    Keiichi: Caster (Tamamo-no-Mae)

    Makie: Assassin (Kojiro)

    Kotaro: Berserker (Raikou)

    Nodoka: Caster (Murasaki)

    Yue: Caster (Andersen)

    Natsumi: Caster (Shakespeare)

    Ako: Berserker (Nightingale)

    Fuuka and Fumika: Rider (Mary and Anne)

    Rin and Sakura: Archer (EMIYA and EMIYA Alter respectively)

    Shizuru: Assassin (Shuten Douji) In the end the temptation to play her Servant off Haruka’s would have won over the obvious Kiyohime joke.

    Natsuki: Berserker (Ibaraki Douji)

    Tsukuyomi: Archer (Nobunaga) I kinda like the idea of Konoka, not Setsuna, being Tsukuyomi’s true nemesis.
     
  8. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Unequally Rational and Emotional What If...?

    Starring Kikukawa Yukino.

    ---

    Suzushiro Haruka took another deep breath, letting her hand rest against the frame of the door. “Grace under fissure,” she sagely told herself, keeping her eyes closed. “Grace under fissure, just like Mother used to say…”

    She needed it, too; the last few days had proved to be quite a burden on her, and she still wasn’t sure on how she would balance what had transpired during them with the duties ahead of her. She had left Mahora nothing but the Vice President of the Student Council and returned an engaged (according to her family’s logic anyway) woman to a ten-years old boy teacher who had turned out being a wizard, one who had taken her as many of his… apprentices of sorts, Haruka still wasn’t sure at all on the related terminology, much less how to phrase it.

    The thing that worried her the most, however, was how she would tell Yukino, or if she even had to. Surely she could lose her best and only friend in the whole world if she did it? Not to mention endanger her? Poor, meek, frail Yukino, completely unaware of the threats from a world where madmen and madwomen summoned demon gods to lay waste upon planets, and people like Saotome Haruna could find reprobable outlets for their depravity, shaping reality as they best saw fit…

    Then she just sighed, opened her eyes, and finally pushed the door open, shouted as she stormed into the room. “Alright, everyone! The rest and relaxingnation are over, it’s time to get to work again! Yukino, bring me my… my… Whu-Where’s Yukino?!” she babbled, stopping abruptly and whipping her head around in all directions, looking all across the well lit, white-painted Mahora Student Council’s meeting room.

    “Oh, welcome back, Suzushiro-han,” Fujino Shizuru politely said from where she sat sipping tea, with Kotegawa Yui and Shirai Kuroko, the academy’s top discipline and security enforcers respectively, flanking her at the table. A few chairs apart from them Tate Yuuichi, secretary, just sat in his usual long suffering silent annoyance, taking notes on something on his laptop. “Spent a pleasant time in Kyoto, I would hope? Perhaps this contact with my hometown means now we can establish a better bond and thus working—“

    “S-Stop misusaging words and answer what I asked!” an exasperated Haruka said. “Where’s Yukino?! She’s never late for anything, not that I am, but don’t tell me that something happened to her…!”

    Shizuru exhaled wearily. “Or perhaps not, after all…”

    “I am right here, Haruka-chan,” a soft, mild voice said from right behind the busty blonde right then.

    Haruka almost jumped out of her skin, spinning around to face a blinking Kikukawa Yukino. “Ah! Y-You were here!”

    Yukino nodded, blinking at this behavior that was odd even coming from Haruka. “Well, yes, I mean, I had to go out to the restroom for a break right now, but… Was there any problem with your trip, Haruka-chan? You look so… agitated…”

    “N-No, of course there wasn’t any!”Haruka denied, shaking her head vigorously. “I mean, why would there be any?! It all went flawedlessly, just like things go whenever I’m in charge, ha-ha-ha…!” she laughed this last part very stiffly.

    Yui frowned, squinting. “This better has nothing to do with anything improper happening during this trip of yours.”

    “It does nooooot!” Haruka snapped at her. “What makes you even begin to suspicionate that?!”

    “Well,” Kuroko reasoned, “you were in the same inn as that child teacher and Class 3-A, and we heard you were attacked by the Joker and a whole bunch of other American supervillains.”

    “Oh, that,” Haruka huffed. “Th-That was nothing that we couldn’t handle, that is, n-not that we had to, b-because the proper local authorities took care of it all and we didn’t have to fight anyone or shoot them, but if it’d been up to me, I’d have lifted up to the task anyway!”

    “Risen to the task, Haruka-chan,” Yukino gently corrected.

    “Same difference,” Haruka sighed. “Recareless, how about you, Yukino? How did your class trip go?”

    Yukino flinched slightly, which everyone around the table but Haruka noticed. “Oh, oh well, th-there’s not much to say, I only met a nice student from CLAMP and a nice student from Ohtori or two, and… we spent some t-time together around town, not around another magical world or anything, or fighting either, that was all…”

    Kuroko blinked several times, Yui took a hand to her own mouth, and even the normally apathetic Tate looked alarmed. “Students from Ohotori?!” Shirai gasped.

    “Ohtori, where all lilies are predatory plants and all men are rapacious hawks!” Yui all but screamed.

    “Conbefriending with the enemies!” Haruka gasped, backing away in horror as Shizuru just rolled her eyes silently.

    “Yukino, how could you?! I taught I thought you better!”

    Yukino grimaced, blushing a little. Only Shizuru and Kuroko realized she hadn’t blushed nearly as much as she normally would have, and were suitably intrigued. “It wasn’t like that, Kiryuu-san isa nice enough person, I guess, if… somewhat haughty. And Tsuwabuki-kun is—“

    “Oh my God, you’ve even made good friends with them,” Kuroko said. “Well, at least it wasn’t anyone from Honnouji.”

    “Wait a second…” Shizuru raised an eyebrow. “Did you just say… Kiryuu? Like the Ohtori Student Council President, Kiryuu Touga-san?”

    Yukino nodded. “Yes, it was his younger sister, Nanami-san.”

    “Ah, Cow Girl,” Shizuru nodded, elegantly taking another sip of tea while everyone around her but Yukino broke into choking panics.

    Yukino blinked, confused. “Cow Girl? She is fairly slim, was she ever—?“

    “Let’s just say that you wouldn’t believe me at all if I ever told you,” Shizuru sighed, shaking her head.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2019 at 8:28 PM
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  9. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    Tales of Mundus Magicus: Beware of What Explodes in the Night!

    ---

    “I heard you are Nagi Springfield, son of Nagi Springfield,” said a girl, boldly approaching Negi’s table at the restaurant.

    “Hm!” Louise huffed, frowning sternly towards the newcomer, while Yue and Asuna tensed up in alert, Rito and Lena sighed wearily, Skuld muttered under her breath hiding behind her menu, Tsukuyomi licked her own lips in a highly predatory fashion, and Collet and Webby just blinked with piqued curiosity, as did the Pikachu sitting on Collet’s head. Negi himself, aged up as usual of late, only stared on, intrigued, at this petite girl with dark brown hair before smiling at her.

    “I’m sorry,” he gently told her, “but I’m not that Nagi Springfield. I’m Nagi Springfield, cousin of that Nagi Springfield, who is rumored to have a son named Nagi Springfield, but doesn’t.”

    “Believe it. We are experts on the topic of Nagi Springfield,” Webby added, picking back on her shish-kebab and cleaning it up with a slurping mouthful.

    “Right,” the stranger nodded, using a hand to better adjust her tall, pointy witch’s hat, as red as her blouse and her short skirt, which obscured most of her cute face. She also wore short red boots and a tall black stocking on one leg, the other wrapped in bandages. “Because that son is actually named Negi Springfield, wanted felon, terrorist commander, heel and no-goodnik, perfidious crook and creep, enemy of all women, friend to Perverted Beasts, Mundus Magicus’ worst and most repulsive villain, with history’s second greatest bounty on his head!”

    “Uhhhhh… we guess so, we aren’t just as well read on the topic of Negi Springfield,” Webby said, now sounding slightly nervous.

    “Hey, hey, speak for yourself!” Tsukuyomi told her with obvious glee, before nodding at the girl with the staff and hat, smiling pleasantly while Yue, Rito and Asuna, squirming visibly, pushed their disguise glasses up so they were ever tighter against their faces. “I know, right? Boy, this Negi Springfield’s a real fink, isn’t he? He’s such a dishonor to this poor boyfriend of mine’s family! That’s why, when I get my hands on Negi Springfield, I’m going to skewer him alive and cut him to ribbons and gut him out and pull out his still warm and wet—“

    “Waitress, check, please!” a suddenly trembling and green faced customer begged the highly fetishistic buxom catgirl passing him by from the table next to theirs.

    Negi spat out the latest sip of juice he’d taken. “B-Boyfriend?!”

    “Fink?” Skuld snorted, still refusing to let the safety of her shielding menu. “Whoever uses that kind of word anymore?”

    “Oh hoh hoh hoh!” the weird girl (she already seemed to be weirder than even Tsukuyomi and Webby, much to the disgust of Louise, Yue, Asuna and Rito, but mostly Louise’s) let out a high pitched, kind of squeaky and very forced version of the classic noblewoman’s laugh. “From such a fine vocabulary I can discern you are a fellow woman of great culture and a love for justice! I’ll introduce myself although no doubt you already have guessed my illustrious name! I’m the Archwizard, Megumin! Greatest daughter of the Crimson Demon Clan! Peerless expert of the most glorious magic known in the world of magic, the magical explosion! Of magic!”
     
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  10. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

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    I thought the story was he claimed to be the cousin of Negi while in his Nagi persona.
     
  11. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    “The Crimson Demon Clan?!” exclaimed Lena and Louise at once, each cringing visibly and making just as marked faces of contempt.

    “The Crimson Demon Clan!” Webby gushed excitedly, her eyes growing even brighter, bigger and rounder than her norm.

    “The Crimson Demon Clan?” Asuna asked, clearly unimpressed.

    "The Crimson Demon Clan," Yue flatly repeated.

    “Ufufufu!” Impervious to the reactions of bafflement and the glares of the patrons from the surrounding tables, basking only on the admiration of the suddenly nearly adoring smaller duck girl, this ‘Megumin’ smirked proudly, tapping her staff on the floor, twirling her hat around, and closing the eye of hers not covered by a crimson patch of cloth. “Indeed! You two must be the Vanderquack heiress and the La Valliere girl who were kidnapped by that awful, rotten, rat-bastard of a fink Negi Springfield. Good thing you were rescued by these fine heroes even before I could find you! Impressive, yes, yes… As usual, these people instincts of mine were correct to direct me to this party, uhuhuhu…” she chuckled dumbly while stroking her chin.

    Webby grew even more impressed. “Wow… People instincts! I always wanted to have those… Anyway, I’m the Vanderquack heiress, not her, but close enough, how do you do!” she quickly snatched her free hand and shook it happily. “Crimson Demon Clan, huh? I’ve read a lot about you guys, you’re really cool! Why don’t you sit down with us and—“

    Megumin pulled her hand back just as soon, blushing a little. “D-Don’t be so forward touching one of us! Even if you’re nobility, we’re something else… But thanks for the offer, don’t mind if I do!” She pulled a chair for herself, plucked a chicken leg from Rito’s plate, and started to wolf it down as he only could watch on helplessly. “I need to recharge on calories, Explosion is as highly draining as it fits its regal status, you know. So, where are we going next, then?”

    “We?!” Louise demanded, clenching her teeth on standing on edge, on the edge of leaping onto this stranger, that was; the whipping crop already was in her hand.

    The girl gave her a disdainous look while already cleaning the last few meaty bits from the suddenly polished—shiny, even—chicken leg in her small hand. “FOOL! No wonder you’re the least popular daughter of your house, unlike me. If the great archwizard Megumin, queen of magic, joins your party, you shall be INVINCIBLE! And you shan’t reject her, of course. Not that you can anymore, either way, since I’m already in. As you understand, you can’t deny me membership after I’ve joined, you only can kick me out, but you can’t do that either because you can’t refuse me, no one refuses the great Megumin after all. You understand! I guess. I mean, you’d have to, even if you are Louise the Zero…”

    “Don’t EVER call me that!” Louise growled, Negi sighing and holding her all-too-ready-to-whip arm while Tsukuyomi looked on eagerly. Asuna and Yue simply sweated cold and looked really antsy and ready to leave, casting constant glances in all directions, leaving an opening for Megumin to swipe an apple slice from Asuna’s fruit salad next.

    Negi, still restraining Louise’s wrist in his fist, pondered this strange encounter with a baffled expression for a few moments before smiling again. “Well, maybe you could help us. We are looking for the home of the legendary Jack Rakan…”

    “Nagi,” Rito said between grinding teeth, “I’m not too sure we should be telling that to this person…”

    “Silence, you cretin!” Megumin scoffed, grabbing a spoon and trying to dig into Skuld’s large cup of chocolate ice cream with nuts, only to have her hand slapped aside by Skuld, who only glared menacingly from behind the slightly lowered menu, disguise eyes shining with danger. This made Megumin scowl in anger, but since she only could chide one cretin at a time she let it slide for now. “Did you seriously think I wouldn’t know the location of the Hero of a Thousand Faces?!”

    “Oh!” Tsukuyomi said, playing along with great delight. “Do you know him personally?”

    “No, his legend is far lesser than mine,” Megumin said nonchalantly, making Asuna, Collet and Rito facefault on the table, and Webby and Tsukuyomi giggle for fully opposite reasons. “But I know he lives in the desert beyond these hills! I can take you there!”
     
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  12. OverMaster

    OverMaster I'm fed up with everything

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    “Of course you can, of course,” Negi said patiently. “Well, I mean, of course you can tag along with us as soon as you pay Miss Tsukuyomi here four pieces of silver.”

    Megumin blinked. “Four pieces! B-B-But that’s all of my--!”

    “Oh? What are you about you say? Surely,” Tsukuyomi giddily said, extending a hand ahead, “that’s nothing but a minuscule trifle for someone from the storied, fabled Crimson Demon Clan, is it not…?”

    Gulping, a red faced Megumin fidgeted before pulling out a very small and very worn down purse. She then reluctantly pulled four small pieces of silver out of it, handing them over to a greedily accepting Tsukuyomi. “Clang, clang,” Megumin discreetly mimicked the sound of more pieces of silver as she pocketed back the now obviously empty purse.

    “That was the most money you’ve ever had on you at once, wasn’t it?” Lena asked, managing to sound callously blunt and oddly sympathetic at once.

    “That’s no business of yours, interloper!” Tsukuyomi squawked, blush now in full force.

    “And you really have nowhere else to go, do you?” a fully sympathetic Collet added.

    “Pika pika,” her familiar opined.

    “I do now!” Megumin pouted, then asked, “That’s meant to cover all of my traveling expenses, right?”

    “No, this is part of Nagi’s payment to me so I don’t kill the whole party,” Tsukuyomi informed her with a beautiful, angelic smile.

    Megumin blinked again. “Isn’t he your boyfriend?!”

    “So? A word of advice to you, my dear, never let romance interfere with business…”

    “What about Setsuna-san?” Asuna asked sotto voice.

    “That’s family and romance, completely different thing…” Tsukuyomi made clear, with a small offended pout.
     
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