[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[AndrewJTalon]

Domestic Disturbance

Training with the Valean Police Department was supposed to be a straightforward exercise in civilian response protocols. Team RWBY and JNPR stood with a squad of officers outside a rundown trailer park, all of them in tactical gear.

Ruby adjusted Crescent Rose and glanced at the officer in full riot armor. "So… we're here to break up a domestic disturbance? What kind of disturbance?"

The officer's helmet tilted slightly. "Don't know. Be prepared for the worst."

They approached the trailer carefully. The officer knocked hard on the door.

"Police Department! We got a 911 call?"

A woman's voice shrieked from inside. "HE'S THREATENING TO RIP MY BABY'S HEAD OFF!"

Ruby's eyes went huge. "OH MY GOD!"

Weiss immediately leveled Myrtenaster. "COME OUT OF THERE! HANDS UP!"

Yang's gauntlets clicked into place. "LET THE BABY GO!"

There was a long pause. Then a man's voice called out, "I'M COMING OUT…!"

The door creaked open.

A disheveled man stepped out… holding a plastic baby doll by one leg.

Blake stared. "…Really?"

Ruby lowered Crescent Rose slightly, looking almost disappointed. "I was totally prepared to shoot him and catch the baby with my Semblance."

Yang nodded approvingly. "That's how you should have done it."

Weiss looked personally offended. "A doll?!"

The woman from inside the trailer pushed past her brother, snatching the doll protectively. "She's my little baby! I need a man to be a proper daddy for my baby! But my brother won't let me go out and find a man!"

Blake's ears flattened under her bow. "…Seriously?"

Ruby glanced around at the others. "Ummm… I uh… how do we fix this…?"

Nora rested Magnhild on her shoulder with a bright smile. "And do any of them need to be alive when we're done?"

Jaune pinched the bridge of his nose and stepped forward with a long-suffering sigh. "Look. You two can either apologize and sort this out… or you can go to jail!"

The brother and sister looked at each other for a long moment.

"…Look, I'm sorry," the brother muttered. "I'm jealous of you going out with guys."

The sister's expression softened. "I get it… I'm sorry too. I love you."

"I love you too."

They stared into each other's eyes.

Then they began to make out.

Jaune's face drained of all color. "Ohhhh Breaker no! NO NO NO!"

Ruby recoiled. "OH BREAKER NO!"

Yang's eyes went wide with pure horror. "DO NOT DRY HUMP!"

Nora raised Magnhild, finger hovering near the trigger. "Do I take the shot?"

Ren calmly placed a hand on the barrel and lowered it. "Not yet."

The sibling pair continued their enthusiastic reconciliation right there on the trailer steps, completely ignoring the armed Huntsmen-in-training and police officers staring at them in collective trauma.

Pyrrha then knocked them apart with Milo and Akuo. Jaune and Pyrrha pounced.

The brother yelled: "AHH! HEY! YOU CAN'T ARREST ME! INCEST ISN'T ILLEGAL!"

"I don't know for sure but I'm sure we can charge you with something!" Pyrrha yelled.

Ruby slowly turned to the officer in riot armor.

"…Is this a normal call for you people?"

The officer's helmet was very still.

"…Welcome to the Valean Police Department."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Mia Arc was on patrol.

She tore across the Beacon courtyard on her red tricycle, police hat tilted at a jaunty angle, a plastic badge pinned to her shirt, and a toy sword and gun stuck in her belt. Sunglasses (stolen from Yang's dresser) covered half her face. She looked extremely serious for a four-year-old.

She spotted Velvet Scarlatina reading under a tree and slammed on the imaginary brakes.

"Uwahhh… Uwahhh… Uwaahh… Uwaahhh…! Pull over!"

Velvet looked up, ears twitching. "Hm?"

Mia fixed her with the most serious glare she could manage. "Pull over!"

Velvet giggled. "Okay… What's the charge, Officer?"

Mia stared her down. "You're too much of a bunny!"

"…Eh?"

"Gimme cookies!"

Velvet laughed. "Oh, you're a crooked cop, huh?"

Mia grinned. "Yup!"

"I don't have cookies, sweetie. But I will give you some candy."

"YAY!"

Mia accepted the bribe with the solemn dignity of a seasoned officer, then continued her patrol, sunglasses firmly in place.

Next victim: Skylar, a senior student with bird Faunus traits.

"Aw… You're cute, Little Lady!"

Mia pointed her toy gun. "You're under arrest!"

"What—what for?!"

"For being a bird! And not being a bird!" She scribbled something illegible on a notepad and thrust it at him. "Show up to court! Or gimme candy!"

Skylar blinked, then pulled out a bag of Skittles. "…Want some Skittles?"

"YAY SKITTLES!"

---

Her final target of the afternoon was Arslan Altan, who was walking across the courtyard in her usual calm, composed manner.

Mia rolled up at full speed. "Pull over!"

Arslan tilted her head. "But I am not in a vehicle?"

Mia hesitated for half a second. "Oh… Um… You're under arrest!"

Arslan crouched down to Mia's eye level, a small, amused smile on her face. "Oh, my apologies, little lion. I was unaware I was in the presence of one of Aslan's holy knights."

Mia blinked. "Holy knight? I'm a cop!"

"Do you uphold the law?" Arslan asked solemnly. "Not just in letter, but in spirit too?"

"…What's that mean?"

"It means, do you protect the innocent?"

"YEAH!"

"Do you believe in the all-saving light that is our Emperor, Aslan?"

"YEAH!"

"Do you hate Grimm?"

Mia's face twisted into pure four-year-old fury. "YEAH! GRIMM SUCK!"

Arslan placed a solemn hand on her head. "THEN YOU ARE A HOLY KNIGHT!!!"

"YAAAAAYYYY!" Mia cheered, then paused. "…Do Holy Knights get candy?"

"Yes," Arslan said, "but only if they're good."

"YAY! Can I have candy?"

"Unfortunately, I do not have any."

Mia's ears drooped.

"However…" Arslan's eyes gleamed. "I do know of a way you can get it."

---

Ten minutes later, two unsuspecting students were walking past a row of bushes when a tiny blonde blur exploded out of them.

"HALT!!!"

Mia stood with her toy sword raised high, police hat still on, sunglasses slightly askew.

"THE GOD EMPEROR DEMANDS THAT YOU RE… re…"

From the bushes, Arslan whispered, "Relinquish."

"RELINGQUISH ALL YOUR CANDY! THIS IS A CRUSADE!!!"

The two students stared.

One of them slowly reached into his pocket.

"So cute," they muttered, as they handed over sweets. Mia beamed.

"YAY! FOR THE EMPRAH!"

Arslan chuckled.

And people said she had no sense of humor...

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Created in Grok, here are character sheets for Mia and an image of her with Jaune.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Flashback: When Jaune Met Mia

---

The hallway outside the Arc-En-Ciel Hospital surgical ward was quiet except for the low hum of medical equipment and the distant, muffled sounds of the hospital at night. Jaune sat on a hard plastic chair, elbows on his knees, hands clasped so tightly his knuckles had gone white. He had been there for hours. Every time the doors opened he looked up with the same fragile hope.

When Isabel finally stepped out, still in her surgical scrubs, the mask still covering the lower half of her face, that hope died.

Her eyes were red. Tears tracked down her cheeks above the mask.

"Jaune…" Her voice cracked. "I… I'm so sorry."

He was on his feet before the words fully registered. He pushed past her, through the swinging doors, into the bright, sterile light of the operating room.

Katy lay on the surgical table.

She was so still. The monitors that should have been beeping had been silenced. Someone had already covered most of her with a sheet, but her face was still visible—pale, peaceful in a way that made his stomach twist. Her hand rested at her side, fingers slightly curled.

He reached for it.

It was cold.

Something inside Jaune's chest simply… broke.

A sound tore out of him—raw, animal, helpless. His knees hit the floor. He pressed her cold hand against his forehead and sobbed, the kind of sobbing that wracked the entire body and left no room for breath.

Strong arms closed around him from behind.

"It's okay," Nick's voice said, thick and rough. "It's okay to cry, son. I've got you. I've got you."

His father pulled him up, guided him out of the room, down the short corridor into a quieter recovery space. Isabel followed. The moment the door closed behind them she pulled her mask down and wrapped both arms around her son, holding him as tightly as she could while he shook apart against her shoulder. Nick guided them all to a chair, and Jaune collapsed into it like every bone in his body was dust.

Even with his parents holding him, all he could feel was a giant pit of blackness swallowing him up, and sobs tearing out of his chest like a Grimm was ripping his flesh apart with its teeth.

There was a soft sound from the corner of the room.

A tiny, thin mewl.

Jaune hadn't even noticed the bassinet.

Isabel drew a shaky breath and stepped away. She crossed to the bassinet, carefully lifted the small pink-wrapped bundle, and carried it back to him.

"We saved the baby," she whispered.

Jaune's hands were trembling so badly he almost couldn't take her. Nick steadied his arms from behind, helping him cradle the impossibly small weight against his chest.

"It's a girl," Isabel said.

Jaune looked down.

A tiny, scrunched face. A dusting of fine blond hair. And two little cat ears—soft, pale gold, already twitching faintly at the sound of his ragged breathing.

Isabel swallowed hard. "Mercer and Junior just called. They're back in the waiting area. I… I have to go tell them."

Her grief nearly broke her voice. Mercer and Junior... They'd been so excited when Jaune had married Katy. They said they couldn't have asked for a better son or brother-in-law than him and they... They'd now...

Jaune only response was a nod, still staring at the baby.

Isabel leaned in, pressed a long kiss to the top of his head, and hugged him one more time.

"I'll be back," she promised. "I love you."

"I-I love you too," he managed.

She left.

Nick stayed, one arm still around his son's shoulders, the other carefully supporting the baby. Tears ran silently down the older man's face as he rested his chin against the top of Jaune's head.

"Son… it's okay to cry."

"I-I can't…" Jaune's voice was wrecked. "I can't stop…"

"I know. I know." Nick kissed the top of his head the way he had when Jaune was small. "It's okay. It's okay."

Silence settled again, broken only by the soft cooing and occasional mewling of the newborn in Jaune's arms.

Nick eventually straightened. "I'll get her some milk. She needs to eat."

Jaune nodded without looking up. "I-I know."

"I'll be right back."

Nick left.

The room was quiet except for the soft beeping of distant monitors and the tiny sounds of the baby.

Jaune adjusted his hold, bringing her closer to his chest. Her little ears twitched again. One tiny hand flexed against the blanket.

"Hey…" His voice was barely more than a broken whisper. "Hey… it's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here."

He swallowed hard, tears still falling onto the soft pink blanket.

"Mia… She wanted to name you that. Mia."

He pressed the gentlest kiss he could manage to the top of her head, between those soft little ears.

"I'm your dad. Jaune. And I love you, Mia. I… I always will. I promise.... I promise..."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The airship descended through clear mountain air toward the small regional port outside Radian. From the windows the passengers could already see it: Arc-En-Ciel Hospital rising on the edge of the old town like something out of a fairy tale. In the afternoon sunlight the pale stone and glass of the hospital complex gleamed as though it had been carved from pearl, its towers and arched windows catching the light and throwing it back in soft, luminous flashes. Circling around it was the mountain town of Radian in buildings of brightly painted timber and white stone, and further out in the white walls of the city, the forests of Old Arcadia waited, dark and quiet.



They took the train the short distance into town, then transferred to a sturdy wooden wagon for the final trip down the winding dirt road. The Arc farmhouse came into view at last—a large, weathered but well-kept structure with a pointed tower at the front, many windows, and a blue-shingled roof that had sheltered generations of Arcs. Jaune stepped down first, then lifted Mia carefully to the ground. Behind them RWBY and JNPR followed, gifts and travel bags in hand, all of them looking around with open curiosity at the place their teammate had grown up.



Jaune led them onto the wide front porch and knocked.



The door opened almost at once.



Isabel Arc stood there in a flour-dusted apron, her expression shifting from mild surprise to pure, radiant joy the moment she saw her son and granddaughter.



"Hello, Jaune!" She pulled him into a fierce, lingering hug, then immediately dropped to one knee. "Aw, and Mia!"



"Granny!" Mia squealed, throwing both arms around Isabel's neck and burying her face in her shoulder.



Isabel held her tightly for a long moment before straightening, finally taking in the cluster of teenagers behind them. Her eyes widened.



"And… oh my. That's a lot of people…"



Jaune gave a sheepish little laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. "Heh… I made a lot of friends."



Isabel's smile softened into something warmer and deeper. "So I see. Well then—come in, all of you. You're more than welcome."



They were guided around the side of the house to the backyard, where a small open pavilion had been decorated with streamers, paper lanterns, and a long table already half-laden with food. The moment Nick Arc and Lilac spotted them, they came striding across the grass.



Nick's booming laugh rolled across the yard as he swept Mia up into his arms and tossed her high into the air.



"Grampa!" she shrieked, delighted.



"HAHAHA! There's my favorite little troublemaker!" He caught her again and spun her around while Lilac hugged Jaune with quiet intensity, then moved down the line to embrace every single member of RWBY and JNPR without hesitation, murmuring warm greetings to each of them.



When the whirlwind of hugs settled, Jaune stepped closer to his father, voice dropping.



"I… um… I wanted to go see Katy. If that's okay, Dad?"



Nick's expression gentled at once. The usual larger-than-life energy softened into something quieter and full of understanding. "Of course, son. I'll watch Mia."



"I—Dad, I—"



"It's okay, son." Nick rested a heavy, steadying hand on Jaune's shoulder. "Go. Take whatever time you need."



Jaune turned to Mia, crouching so they were eye-level. "I'll be right back, Kitten. Promise."



She hugged him tightly and pressed a sticky kiss to his cheek. "Okay!"



Pyrrha stepped forward a little, concern clear in her emerald eyes. "You… you okay, Jaune?"



He managed a small, tired smile. "Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Just… I gotta do this alone."



Ruby nodded, voice soft. "Sure."



Yang's lilac eyes were serious but kind. "We get it."



Nora, for once, didn't crack a joke. She simply nodded. Ren gave a quiet, understanding incline of his head. Blake's golden eyes held quiet solidarity. Weiss folded her hands in front of her and said, gently, "Certainly, Jaune… we'll be here."



"Thanks," Jaune said, the word rough with gratitude. Then he turned and walked alone into the trees.

---


Old Arcadia was hushed and cool beneath the pines. The ruins of the ancient fortress manor rose among the trees like the bones of something once proud—crumbling walls, half-buried foundations, and the dark mouth of the family crypt waiting ahead. Jaune knew every step of the path by heart.



Inside the crypt the air was still and cool. Sunlight filtered through narrow openings high in the stone, illuminating row after row of statues. He walked slowly among them, past the regal figure of Jeanne d'Arc, founder of House Arc, sword raised and banner flowing in frozen stone. Past later lords and ladies of the bloodline. Past the paired statues of Jonathan and Elizabeth Arc—his grandparents—who had died in battle when Isabel was only eleven. Their faces were kind even in marble, forever young.



And then he came to hers.



Uncle Bedivere had poured everything he had into the sculpture. Katy sat on a stone bench in her wedding dress, hands folded loosely in her lap, smiling the soft, warm, slightly mischievous smile Jaune still saw in his dreams. The marble caught the light so that for a moment, she almost looked alive.



Jaune stood in front of her for a long time before he could speak.



"…H-Hey, Katy." His voice cracked. He swallowed hard. "Um… hey."



Silence answered him. Only the distant rustle of wind in the pines outside.



He wiped at his face with the back of one hand, then let out a shaky breath.



"Mia's great. She's made friends. She's very happy. Causes trouble, but… I think people encourage it." A weak, broken little laugh escaped him. "I'm in fourth place in my class overall. Pretty strong, but… you know. Pyrrha, Ruby, Yang, Weiss, Nora, Ren, Blake—they're all pretty amazing."



He told her about them one by one, voice growing steadier and then faltering again as emotion rose.



"Ren's a genius. I can just clobber him if I can get my hands on him, but that's the hardest part, heh. He's my best male friend. Ruby's a prodigy—she's fast and she's my best female friend and nerdy. She's like another little sister. You'd like her. Yang… is awesome. She's sunny, and likes terrible puns, and is caring and she's amazing-She's happy to tell you, heh. But she's fantastic. Mia really loves her. Weiss is like a princess—daughter of the richest man in the world, but he's kind of an ass. She's stiff, but she's very kind-She really loves buying gifts for Mia. It's how she shows love. Nora is a riot. Hard to manage sometimes, but I really like her. So does Mia. Blake's got a lot of issues, but she's trying to make up for a lot of bad things. She's very caring, though. And sneaky. She's a cat Faunus like you and her parents are wonderful. They love Mia too..."



His voice softened further.



"…Pyrrha. She's my partner. She's incredible. Like the most amazing—she's like a superhero and I'm really lucky. I worked hard to get where I was, but she's just… grace and power personified. She's also really nice. Shy. Says sorry too much. I'm really lucky to have friends like all of them…"



He fell silent for a long moment, staring at the statue's smiling face.



"And… I dunno. Some of the girls want me to date them. They'd... Love to be Mia's mom. She wants them to be, and… I mean… they're great, but…"



He closed his eyes.



"Every time I… I let myself think about it… I imagine you. And…"



A long, shuddering sigh.



"…I know you told me to move on, but… but I don't know if I can. Maybe I'm just not strong enough. I'm never strong enough."



His hands curled into fists at his sides.



"My fucking Semblance could have healed you and I couldn't… If I'd unlocked it sooner, maybe…"



He exhaled hard, shoulders sagging.



"You'd tell me I'm being stupid. I know. But when I'm here I just… I know you're not the statue, but…" He wiped his eyes again, voice breaking. "Breaker damnit… I thought… maybe one day I'd have healed from this, but… I'm not. I'm still wounded and it still hurts and this day… I should be happy for Mia. She's five. And… and you're still in here and I don't know how to handle it."



Footsteps approached softly on the stone path outside.



Jaune tensed.



Isabel appeared at the entrance of the crypt, Mia riding on her hip. Both of them looked at him with quiet concern.



"Hey, sweetie," Isabel said gently.



"…Hey, Mom." Jaune's voice was rough. "Mia?"



Mia's ears were slightly flattened, her expression solemn. "I wanted to see you and Mama."



Jaune swallowed hard. "…S-Sure. Sure."



Isabel set Mia down carefully. The little girl immediately walked over and took her father's hand. Isabel kissed both of them on the forehead.



"We'll be at the edge of the forest, okay?"



"Thank you," Jaune whispered.



She left them alone in the quiet of the crypt.



Mia stared up at the statue for a long time. Jaune held her tightly.



Finally, she spoke in a quiet voice.



"…Mama was really pretty."



"Yes," Jaune said softly. "She was."



"Can I talk to her?"



"Not here. But you can pray, and she'll hear you."



Mia nodded. She closed her eyes, bowed her head, still holding tightly to Jaune's hand, and spoke in a small, clear voice.



"Hi Aslan… I wanna talk to Mama. I really miss her. I want to have cake with her. It would be nice. It's a really nice cake. And she would be here and she'd make Papa happy. And everyone would have a good time at my party… But I can't. So… um… I hope she's happy, 'cause we really miss her and Papa's doing a good job. Amen."



Jaune pulled her into a tight hug and pressed a long kiss to the top of her head between her soft cat ears. "That was good," he whispered. "She'd have liked it."



"…Thanks."



Mia slipped free after a moment and walked up to the statue. She carefully placed one small hand against the cold marble of Katy's knee.



"Why do you make a statue if she's not in there?"



"So we remember what she looked like," Jaune said quietly. "So we don't forget."



"Why would you forget?"



"People get old and forget lots of stuff, Kitten."



Mia's ears flattened further. "I don't want to forget."



Jaune smiled gently.



"That's why we have the statue."



"…Oh."



Jaune lifted her into his arms again and held her close for a long time, rocking slightly the way he had when she was a newborn. Eventually Mia squirmed.



"…Can we have cake now, please?"



He managed a small, watery smile. "Yes. Yes, we can."



They walked back out of the woods together. Isabel, RWBY and JNPR were waiting at the treeline, quiet and respectful. The moment they saw Jaune's face, something in the group's posture softened further.



"Hey…" Jaune offered them a tired, grateful smile. "Uh… sorry it took so long…"



"No need to apologize, for anything," Isabel said gently.



Mia tugged at his sleeve. "Can we have cake?"



"Yeah. Go on, Kitten."



He set her down. She took off running toward the pavilion at full speed. Isabel smiled.



"I'll look after her." She turned and followed.



The moment she was gone, Nora stepped forward and wrapped Jaune in a fierce, almost crushing hug. Pyrrha joined almost immediately, her arms gentler but no less tight. Ren placed a steadying hand on Jaune's shoulder, the quiet offer of his Semblance clear in the gesture.



"…I'm okay," Jaune murmured against Nora's shoulder. "Thank you, Ren." He drew a deep, shaky breath.



Yang pulled him into a hug next, strong and warm. Ruby followed, clinging tightly. Weiss hesitated for only a second before stepping in as well, her embrace careful but sincere. Blake lingered at the edge of the group until Jaune looked at her over the others' heads.



"…You want one too?"



"Yes," she said quietly.



He opened an arm and hugged her without another word.



When they finally let him go, Jaune exhaled slowly, wiping at his eyes one last time.



"…I'll talk about it later, huh?"


---


At the grill, Nick Arc was carefully tending the coals the way he always did on birthdays—because, as he liked to say, birthdays were the best days of the year "since you got dessert before dinner without people yelling at you." He watched Mia race past toward the cake table with a soft, subdued smile, eyes shining with unshed tears.



When Jaune came to stand beside him, Nick spoke quietly enough that only his son could hear.



"I made sure to spend extra time maintaining her memorial, so it would look extra nice for today, son. She deserves to look nice for her little girl."



He glanced at Jaune, voice even quieter, thick with emotion.



"…Have I ever told you how much I admire you, Jaune? For being so strong? I don't think I would be able to do what you have done for Mia if I lost Izzy…"



He wiped his eyes with the back of one wrist and gave a self-conscious little laugh.



"Sorry. Must be getting old and sentimental."



Jaune's voice was rough with quiet gratitude. "Thank you, Dad. I really appreciate it."



Isabel appeared at his other side and slipped an arm around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder. Her own eyes were damp.



"Yes," she said softly. "We're very proud of you, Jaune."



"…Thank you."



Out on the grass, Mia was already demanding cake at the top of her lungs while the rest of the group began setting out plates and laughing. The afternoon sun caught the pearl-like gleam of Arc-En-Ciel Hospital in the distance one more time.



The party had begun.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The next call was an older woman who insisted neighborhood children were terrorizing her sidewalk and lawn.

"Those kids—those kids! They keep going on my sidewalk around on those bikes! You gotta arrest them!"

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Are they… vandalizing?"

"They're riding around and their parents make them go around just to bug me! And those kids—they run around on my lawn and steal my lawn gnomes!" She dragged them inside and pointed at her television. "Look! Look! I've recorded the kids all in front of my house!"

Ruby stared. "…Ma'am, that's a crime."

Yang nodded. "And a little creepy."

The officer sighed. "So is making a false report, since you have all your lawn gnomes inside. Sorry, but you're under arrest."

Nora gasped theatrically. "Le Gasp! The Plot thickens!"

The old woman immediately collapsed, making dramatic gagging noises. "Stroke! I'm having a stroke!"

Jaune didn't even blink. "No you're not. I've seen kids fake strokes better than that."

Nora nodded sagely. "And people who are having strokes can't say they're having strokes! Trust me, I've checked."

"Well you'd better take me to the hospital anyway and get all my pills and call my daughter and take care of my dog—!"

"You can call your daughter at the jail," the officer said flatly. "We'll have the neighbors look after your dog. You can get your meds, but you're going to jail."

"You're arresting me and not the kids?! This is crap!" She flopped harder. "I'm not getting up! I'm passed out!"

They escorted her out anyway. She immediately started screaming at Ruby. "ROSE! ROSE YOU'RE A BITCH!"

"You don't know me!" Ruby cried.

"No, no, don't yell at her," Jaune said.

"I NEED AN AMBULANCE!"

"You don't need an ambulance, you're fine!" Ruby snapped.

Nora shook her head. "Welp, don't think we can sink any lower!"

"BWAH!"

Everyone looked over at Jaune. He was suspended upside-down in one of the old woman's traps.

"THAT'S MY TRAP! YOU SET IT!" the woman crowed. "YOU'RE FIXING IT!"

Jaune closed his eyes. "I swear to God, whatever comes next better be some guys robbing a bank in lesser-known Chancellor's masks."

---

It was not.

The next call was a woman causing a scene at WcDonald's. The manager, a Mantis Faunus, looked exhausted.

"Corporate rules say you can't hang out more than an hour without buying anything. This woman sat and just talked on her Scroll, didn't buy anything, so I asked her to leave or buy something… She started yelling that I was a dirty Faunus slave to the humans, a dirty insect, a lot of other hurtful things. She recorded me when I asked her to leave. Please deal with this."

Jaune nodded. "Don't worry, we will. Hello, ma'am!"

The woman screamed and flung a milkshake straight into his face.

"YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO ME! YOU'RE A SLAVE TO HUMANS! YOU'RE A FUCKING SLAVE TO HUMANS CALLING THEM ON ME! FUCKING FAUNUS SLAVE!"

Jaune wiped milkshake from his eyes, expression flat. "I tried." He wordlessly grabbed her by the ear. "Let's take this outside."

"OW OW OWWW! POLICE BRUTALITY! POLICE BRUTALITY!"

"No no, don't grab her by the ear," the officer said quickly. "Wrists. Let's get her in cuffs."

The woman kicked, screamed, and spat while Pyrrha held her steady. They ended up cuffing both wrists and ankles.

"I'LL SUE YOU ALL! I'LL RUIN YOUR LIVES! RUIN YOUR FUCKING LIVES! FAUNUS SLAVES OF THE MAN! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUUUU!"

The officer tased her. She went rigid with a high-pitched scream, then dissolved into wailing once they got her into the squad car.

"YOU'RE FASCISTS! FASCISSSTS!"

The Mantis manager exhaled. "Thank you. This is not the first time I've called the cops on her. She's a nightmare."

Ren's voice was dry. "We noticed."

Blake hesitated. "Um… So… How do you feel about humans—?"

"I'm just fine with most of them, just not her. I mean I just got into law school, I'm finally getting out of this job—"

Ruby beamed. "Oh, congrats!"

"—and yeah, hopefully never seeing her again."

Yang, seeing Blake's expression, lightly squeezed her shoulder. "It's not your fault other Faunus can be assholes."

Blake made a quiet, depressed sound.

"You're not the Queen of the Faunus, okay, Blake?" Jaune said gently. "And even if you were, this isn't on you. Just… mortal nature."

Blake mumbled something.

"Hm?"

She lifted her head. "I know. I just…"

"Yeah…"

"I ran away to try and change this…"

"Well… I don't think just one person can change all this."

"I know. I learned that before…"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The five-car pile-up sat in the middle of the intersection like a metal sculpture of bad decisions. Steam still hissed from one radiator. A single hubcap rolled lazily in a circle before clattering to a stop. RWBY, JNPR, and their usual Vale PD beat-cop escorts had arrived first, but they weren't alone for long.

Four familiar figures in slightly-too-new detective jackets hopped out of an unmarked cruiser.

Sun Wukong cracked his knuckles. "Alright, juniors on the scene! We got this."

Ruby blinked. "Uh… we got here first. We should investigate."

Sun pointed at the badge clipped to his lapel. "Junior detectives. That means we investigate. You guys are still on beat."

Neptune slid forward with his usual sunglasses-and-smile combo, completely ignoring the wrecked cars. "Pyrrha! Yang! Looking radiant as always. Just so you know, I'm totally over Weiss now. Completely moved on. Ready for new horizons."

Weiss's jaw flexed so hard it looked like she was trying to chew through her own molars.

Yang didn't even pretend to be polite. "Get bent, Vasilias."

Pyrrha offered a strained but still-polite smile. "I… appreciate the sentiment, but please direct your attentions elsewhere."

Nora bounced on her toes, Magnhild already half-manifested. "I say we investigate, because I have a hammer and I am willing to use it."

Ren laid a calming hand on her shoulder. "Nora."

Neptune, undeterred, turned his charm offensive on the next target. "Nora, has anyone ever told you that hammer of yours is almost as impressive as—"

Ren's voice went flat. "Nora is free to use the hammer."

"No she is not," Jaune said quickly, stepping between them. "Absolutely not. We are not solving jurisdiction with blunt force trauma."

Ruby and Jaune both raised their hands in the universal "please don't escalate" gesture.

Scarlet crossed his arms, looking deeply unimpressed with the entire situation. "We're literally junior detectives. Let us investigate. And while we're on the subject—" He turned a pointed look on Blake. "Will you please stop writing erotic yaoi fiction about me with the other members of SSSN? I don't like any of them that way. Especially not Neptune."

The entire intersection went quiet.

Everyone slowly turned to stare at Blake.

Blake stood perfectly still, expression carefully blank… except for the deep crimson flush creeping up her neck and the tips of her ears.

Sun's face fell into pure betrayal. "Blake…?"

Neptune looked personally wounded. "I am deeply offended."

Blake cleared her throat, still refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "…I write a whole other genre of erotica for you, Sun."

Sun brightened a fraction. "Oh. Well… that's something, I guess."

Weiss and Ruby both stared at her like she'd just admitted to keeping a live Nevermore under her bed.

A brief, chaotic round of overlapping arguments broke out—jurisdiction, badges, hammers, the ethics of fanfiction based on real teammates—until Sage stepped forward and raised one large, calm hand.

"My Semblance is Psychometry," he said evenly. "I can see the past of objects and who has touched them. We should investigate together."

That, at least, everyone could agree on.

Sage walked over to the car that had clearly caused the pile-up—the one with the crumpled front end and the driver's door still hanging open. He rested his palm against the steering wheel, closed his eyes, and went still.

A moment later his expression darkened.

"The owner," he said, "is a pedophile and a drug dealer."

Silence.

"Is... Is that admissable in court?" Jaune asked.

From somewhere behind a nearby dumpster came a panicked curse and the sound of sprinting footsteps.

Every head snapped toward the noise.

The owner was already running.

"We'll ask," Ruby said, holding up Crescent Rose.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Ruby kicked at a loose piece of gravel on the sidewalk, looking thoroughly unimpressed with the morning so far.

"Sometimes I get the feeling we're just being used as cheap labor for the city."

Jaune didn't even pretend to argue. "Probably."

They rounded the corner of the Vale University campus, entered the local bar, and found a very nervous-looking man standing next to what appeared to be a slightly disheveled chimpanzee with an amulet. Several other people were injured.

Ruby raised a hand. "What's up, guys?"

The man gestured vaguely at the ape.

"There was a debate," the man continued, swaying a little himself. "These men had a point, I had a point, the chimp had a point… We obey the law of man and he obeys the law of the jungle."

Ruby squinted. "And the chimp… bit someone?"

"No. I bit that man."

Ruby's expression went carefully blank. "…Okay."

"The chimp just threw things."

Jaune opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Nothing useful came out.

Nora's eyes lit up like a festival. "CHIMPANZEE! I CHALLENGE YOU TO BATTLE!"

"No! Nonono—!" Jaune started, already reaching for her.

"YES! I AM FIGHTING A MONKEY!"

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "Technically, chimpanzees aren't monkeys, they're actua—"

"BANZAIIIIII!"

Nora charged.

Yang leaned toward Ren, voice low. "Fifty Lien on the monkey?"

Ren considered the chaos already unfolding. "…Fifty on Nora." Internally he added, Easy money.

Weiss blew a strand of hair out of her face, still grumbling. "…What's the difference?"

Yang cupped her hands around her mouth. "AYOOO!"

Nora's battle cry turned into a yelp mid-charge. "AYOOOOO—ACK! IT HAS MY HAIR!"

The chimpanzee had indeed seized a fistful of orange locks and was yanking with impressive determination.

Nora snarled, teeth bared. "I CAN BITE HARDER! RAWR! I BITE HARDERRRRR!"

The chimp answered with a rising series of shrieks—eeee-eeee-eeee-EEEE-EEEE!

Ren watched with mild interest. "Mmmmmm… monkey."

Pyrrha frowned as alcohol bottles, a half-eaten sandwich, and someone's discarded backpack all rose into the air and began orbiting the fight. "Is… why are things flying without—"

Jaune's eyes went wide. "Oh shit—telekinetic! TELEKINETIC CHIMP! TELEKINETIC CHIMP!"

The man nodded sagely, nearly falling over. "I told ya… hic… he throws things."

Weiss looked personally offended by the universe. "Why does a chimpanzee have telekinesis!? What are the reasons for such a Semblance!?"

Ruby threw her hands up. "YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY HOW!"

The man shrugged. "I dunno, man. This Semblance stuff is a lottery."

"It is not," Weiss snapped, "as they are determined by deep psychological factors. What are these for a primate!?"

Several bananas floated serenely past her head.

Jaune didn't even look surprised. "You had to ask."

Blake tilted her head. "Seriously speaking… why, actually?"

The man laughed, delighted. "Holy shit, he can move things with his mind…"

Yang finally lost patience. "IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER!"

Weiss rounded on the man. "Are you high?!"

"Yes! …I mean… no?"

Yang pointed at Weiss. "DO YOU WANNA GO GET HIS FILE OR SOMETHING?! READ HIS BACKSTORY RIGHT NOW?!"

Meanwhile Nora had somehow gotten the chimpanzee into a very solid foot choke. "Kagato-Jime!" she declared proudly. The chimp made a series of increasingly high-pitched ooo-EEE ooo-EEE ooo-EEE! sounds.

Nora beamed. "Hah! And Renny told me that calling out my attacks wouldn't work!"

Ren's voice was mild. "I said it was unlikely to work. I didn't say it wouldn't work."

Jaune dragged a hand down his face. "Right… right… Can we leave this to animal control?"

The nearest officer shook his head. "No. Not for Aura unlocking."

Ruby's eyes went distant and slightly horrified. "Wait… doesn't this mean chimps have souls?"

Jaune stared straight ahead. "…I'm not thinking about that right now."

Ruby shuddered.

"Let's… let's not think about that. Ever."

"Yeah. Yeah, ever."

Pyrrha offered a rare moment of pure pragmatism. "Aura is bullshit anyway. Sorry."

"It is absolute bullshit," Jaune agreed.

Nora, still calmly choking the chimpanzee with her shin, leaned closer to its face. "Hey Nim Chimpsky, do you have a soul?"

The chimp made an angry Ooo-eee-EEE-ooo-OOO? noise.

Jaune blinked. "That's not his name—"

The man brightened. "Totally his name!"

Nora pointed. "His name tag says so!"

Ruby squinted at the little plastic tag clipped to the chimp's collar. "…How did we miss that?"

Weiss's eyes narrowed in recognition. "Wasn't Nim Chimpsky part of a linguistics experiment?"

Blake stared at her. "Wha… what kind of books do you read?!"

"Science is fascinating to me," Weiss said primly, "and I was curious about where language comes from!"

Pyrrha looked suddenly concerned. "Wait—these people interfered with an ongoing science experiment?"

Jaune's expression went thoughtful in the worst possible way. "…We might have to awaken the control chimp's Aura, to make sure the results are still valid."

"WE ARE NOT AWAKENING ANY MORE CHIMPS!" Weiss shouted.

Ruby snapped her fingers. "I was wondering why a chimp was on a college campus!"

Blake held up both hands. "No, no—he's not. He's possessed. He has an amulet with a guy's soul in it and he's possessing the chimp."

Jaune's head whipped around. "Wait, that's real?!"

"His Semblance. Along with the telekinesis."

"Seriously?!"

"Yes! Seriously! He got killed, his soul was in the amulet, it ended up on a chimpanzee, and now he's a chimpanzee."

"Really shiny amulet!" Nora confirmed.

Yang grinned. "Wow! That's pretty complicated monkey shines."

The entire group groaned in perfect unison.

Yang looked wounded. "I WAS HANGING ONTO THAT!"

Nora's face fell as the implications sank in. "Awww, I wanted to keep him. Now it'd be weird."

The chimpanzee somehow produced a Scroll from nowhere, held it up with one free hand, and spoke in a perfectly clear, irritated human voice.

"Yes. And I'm suing you all. I'm not drunk—you're drunk!"

Jaune sagged with pure relief. "Oh thank the Breaker. I thought it was like, another chimpanzee with a soul and that—that would be weird!"

Weiss stared at him in open horror. "THAT WOULD BE WEIRD?!"

Jaune considered. "Weirder?"

Ruby nodded firmly. "Much weirder."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The training mission was supposed to be an easy one—just a short hop out to a quiet farming town with almost no Grimm activity on record. The air even smelled unusually sweet as they stepped off the transport.

A local man spotted them immediately and waved with both arms like they were long-lost celebrities.

"Ohhh… oh hey! You're the trainees!"

Ruby beamed. "Yes sir!"

"Yes… it's so awesome to meet you, we're super happy… We have some… some issues we need help with…"

Jaune gave his most professional smile. "We're happy to help you!"

The man gestured vaguely toward a sprawling cluster of glass buildings in the distance. "Great! Great… We have greenhouses… so many greenhouses… We have like…" He counted on his fingers, lost count, then tried again. "…more than… more than this many…"

Weiss wrinkled her nose. "Does… do you have a lot of skunks here?"

"Oh yeah," the man said dreamily. "We have everything. It's all chill."

Ren's eyes tracked slowly across the nearest greenhouse. "…I see."

A woman wandered over with a young girl in tow. "Hey! Heyyyy… you're the trainees!"

The first resident nodded sagely. "Yes! They're the trainees!"

The woman squinted at the group. "Have you seen my daughter?"

Ruby pointed at the child standing directly beside her. "Isn't… isn't that her?"

"Oh! Sweetie! You're here! Where'd you go?"

Jaune's smile grew strained. "…How much weed have you guys had?"

Silence.

"…Like… today?"

The man stared at the sky for a long moment. "I dunno… what's today?"

The little girl looked up at them with big, serious eyes. "Help me?"

Ren leaned in close to Jaune and whispered, "It might be best to burn the gardens."

Jaune whispered back, "That would make it worse."

Ren considered this, then added quietly, "Then we should at least not accept any more free samples."

Unfortunately, the rest of the team had already started sampling the local hospitality.

Pyrrha wandered up holding a half-empty bag of chocolates, eyes half-lidded and smiling far too widely. "Heeeyyyy… heyyyy Jaune! I… I love these candies! They had… chocolates…!" She giggled.

Jaune's soul left his body. "Oh no."

Ruby was already listing sideways, cheeks stuffed. "Chocolates… soooo goooood…!"

Yang's eyes narrowed. "…I'm going to fuck them up."

"We are not fucking them up!" Jaune snapped. Then he looked around. "…Where's Blake?"

Blake appeared from behind a greenhouse, pupils dilated, ears twitching. "Heeeyyyyy! They… they grow catnip…! Did you know that?"

Ren watched her bat at nothing in particular for a moment. "…She is going to be difficult."

Jaune spun toward the last functional member of the group. "NORA! Nora, do not eat or touch anything! Don't move!"

Nora gave him a thumbs-up. "I'm naturally high so I'm good!"

"GOOD!"

Ren inclined his head slightly. "She's consistently inconsistent."

"Totally!" Nora chirped.

Yang suddenly froze mid-step, staring at a tin of mints she'd been idly chewing. "Wait… wait… is there weed in the mints?"

The first resident smiled. "Yup!"

Yang's face went pale. "Ohhhh fuck…"

Jaune's voice cracked. "SERIOUSLY?!"

He whipped around. "WEISS! Please tell me you didn't eat anything!"

Weiss looked mildly offended. "No! I had some wine… Don't… don't tell me there's weed in the wine."

The female resident helpfully called over, "There's weed in the wine! …Oh… oh you said not to tell you… oh…"

Weiss's eye twitched. "SERIOUSLY?!"

Jaune stared at her in pure betrayal. "Wha—WINE?! Why would you take free wine?!"

"IT WAS FREE!"

Jaune dragged both hands down his face. "Craaaap…. We need to handle the Grimm."

Ren nodded once. "Agreed. The sooner the better."

"Hell…" Jaune turned to the increasingly useless rest of the team. "You guys just… just hang out! Just don't wander off… Pyrrha, stop touching my face."

Pyrrha was currently poking his cheek with one finger, expression soft and wondering. "It's so… shiny…"

"Y-Yes, my face is shiny…"

Nearby, Blake was batting at a fly with both hands like it had personally offended her ancestors.

Jaune made a command decision, as Pyrrha pulled on his jacket. He pulled the jacket off and handed it to her.

"…Ren, Nora and I will kill the Grimm. You watch them, okay?"

Ren inclined his head. "I can handle that… Shall I take photos?"

Nora's eyes sparkled. "Yes."

"No," Jaune said flatly.

"Yes!"

Ren's expression did not change. "I will take photos for documentation purposes only."

"Damnit Ren!" Jaune groaned.

There was no time to argue further. A low Grimm howl drifted in from the tree line. Jaune turned and ran.

Behind him, the high members of Teams RWBY and JNPR had already found a new priority.

Pyrrha hugged Jaune's abandoned jacket to her chest. "Loook… looooook! He's so… he's soooo cute…"

Yang nodded solemnly. "Y-yeah… and cuddly."

"Noooo! Cuddle with me!" Pyrrha whined. Yang yanked on the jacket. "I want him! He's better!"

"I want him!" Yang insisted. Weiss giggled and fell onto the jacket happily.

"Yay jacket!"

Ruby climbed onto the nearest bench like it was a throne. "I'M CUDDLING HIM! I'M THE LEADER!"

Jaune didn't look back. "No time! No time!"

Nora, trailing after him toward the Grimm, glanced over her shoulder and raised her voice in clear warning.

"Girls! Touch Ren and I'll murder you all!"

Ren, already taking photos, spoke without turning around. "Please do not. The paperwork would be excessive."