1. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice

SHINOBI: The RPG - New Game

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Fulcon, Jun 17, 2020.

Loading...
  1. Anthony1967

    Anthony1967 Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2020
    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    452
    He could drop his henge whenever he gets a quest. Makes is so nobody can tell through the statue face
     
  2. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

    Joined:
    May 1, 2019
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    3,452
    I looked it up. I don't see a lot things to let me write her.

    Yup.

    Yup, yup, yup, yup.

    No. But there's plenty in his genetics that would be passed on.
     
    Hypervane likes this.
  3. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2018
    Messages:
    199
    Likes Received:
    580
    Except, game mechanics or not, it's demonstrably not a game. Injuries, death, and various other consequences are very real things.

    This is the difference between a game and a fantastical situation. One's a toy you can mess around any which way you please with no real consequences. The other will end you, and everything you care about if you treat it like the first.

    No saves, reset buttons, essential companions, or console commands for Daisuke. Also "NPCs" have more than a five minute attention span such that interactions actually do matter in the long term.
     
    Anthony1967, zarion and Fulcon like this.
  4. inglorius

    inglorius Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    69
    Hmm. It's not fun being old and senile, isn't that's right, Hiruzen? Being on a team means that you have a team.
     
    Hypervane and MMMm like this.
  5. Kejmur

    Kejmur Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2018
    Messages:
    1,131
    Likes Received:
    4,489
    Yugao also knows sealing, although very little is touched upon this in both anime and manga to be fair. So her sealing may be very basic. But if you need to introduce Daisuke to sealing - she may work. But here even Iruka may work really, like here.

    She's beautiful, but... that's it? And it's not like Naruto universe is lacking in pretty girls really. ESPECIALLY if you also add some things from fillers.

    Honestly she is kind of OC. On the other hand you don't have alot to work with, but it also means that you may do almost whatever you want.

    Also let's be honest - Anko and her characterization is also very limited, but at least there is something.

    Which will also mean that favoured options will be the ones without bloodlines. As otherwise bloodline may end up being 'dilluted'. Although again, it does open up more options, as Yamanaka, Nara, Akimichi, etc. aren't bloodline users, but they can teach their clan techniques.

    Ah yes, Hiruzen screwed up lots of things really, and many people that worked with him turned out... wrong really. Tsunade, Danzo, Orochimaru, partially Jiraiya (personally Jiraiya REALLY doesn't impress me as a person), and few others.

    But yes, age I suspect is one of the main factors why this happens.

    Also good to see this back. So far rewrite is far better, and yes, I agree that removing Almost Perfect and not giving EXP from learned techniques are two best decisions you could make here Fulcon.
     
    MMMm likes this.
  6. MMMm

    MMMm Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    May 11, 2018
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    501
    He could have solved his money troubles by learning medical ninjutsu and healing people at the hospital for pay while he was waiting to be put on a team. As it stands he has the stats to be one of the best medical ninjas in the world. Not even Shizune could learn the strength enhancement, and she had been Tsunade's apprentice for many years.
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  7. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

    Joined:
    May 1, 2019
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    3,452
    Yup. I find that gamer fics with a save mechanic work better as a parody then as a straight story; just because a parody can make someone fail and get horrifically injured again and again and again and again...

    This is actually an author goof, but it works out as Hiruzen being senile.

    If Daisuke was on a team before now, it was highly likely he would've been kidnapped while he was alone, off mission and away from his team. The set up for the mission right now, as it is, makes it so that the Werecrow was caged and unable to go looking for Daisuke when he finally obtained the trait that would've made him identifiable - his blue jumpsuit.

    That's what I meant to say but it came out compressed and missing a lot of details.

    \

    Yeah, and I'll be honest, I'm really invested in Anko and Daisuke, so I'm hoping to improve how that whole relationship goes from start to finish.

    Hm, good point.

    Yeah, it's weird. The longer a story goes, usually the worse a mentor looks in retrospect.

    Age and writer's folly.

    Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Have a cookie.

    True, but I wonder what barriers would exist to stop Daisuke from just waltzing into a hospital and put a bunch of doctor's out of business.
     
    zarion and Hypervane like this.
  8. Hypervane

    Hypervane If lost, return to Hypervene.

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2017
    Messages:
    253
    Likes Received:
    2,370
    There must've been some sorta hidden intelligence check because I know some people who still wouldn't catch that signal. :V
    Fuckin' lol.

    This rewrites looking a lot more put together than the first, which makes sense since the original is now a massive draft. You know where you want things to go and can lay all the hints down. Looks like Sarutobi won't be slept on as much this go around too; hope he and Daisuke get along.
    Do it! That sounds amazing. Sure, there's no experience benefit but I like the idea of Daisuke getting a rep as a Tsunade clone. healing gets a lot of goodwill, and they'll be blindsided when Daisuke starts pulling out completely unrelated things.

    Heck, if he borrows snakes from Anko and gets his sealing game on, he could look like all three Sannin in one Henged-up package. Now that's a report the Tsuchikage didn't ever want to hear! Iwa'll be having panic attacks when he starts throwing kunai with flash tags.
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  9. Revelash

    Revelash Getting sticky.

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2020
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    791
    After students become genin don't they get kicked out of the orphanage and have to do those shitty missions where you do menial tasks to be able to afford a place to stay? Why would they let him stay in the orphanage once he technically became an adult?
     
  10. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

    Joined:
    May 1, 2019
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    3,452
    Daisuke might've gotten distracted. :p

    Hey, thanks man! I appreciate the compliment.

    Because he wasn't technically a genin and adult until he passed Kakashi's test. He was on probation. A loooooooong probation.

    Plus, the orphanage was a convienient place where they could keep him under surveillance.
     
    Hypervane likes this.
  11. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2018
    Messages:
    199
    Likes Received:
    580
    He tried to get on a team and do missions. Sarutobi blocked it to spy on him, leaving him no native income method as no one hires someone whose age can be counted on two hands with change to spare. He did not, however, see fit to dump a child on the street.

    Wouldn't even have to be a morality thing. Which costs more? Feeding and housing a child or reigning in the pissed off rebel who uses ninja skills to steal for a living?

    Also also, there's no stated requirement to leave the orphanage at this age. Naruto left in canon as soon as possible to get away from people being mean to him. Daisuke wanted out as soon as possible to also escape that environment.

    A normal shinobi child would be expected to either stay until adopted, or an adult, or until they choose to leave due to having means, and wanting their own space.

    ...

    Or until Root happened to them. Fucking Danzo. Did you know he persists on a diet of children's cereal? Some would say that sounds innocent, and it does until you realize I meant he steals cereal from children. Thus, children's cereal.

    Edit: Unless there is a stated requirement in this verse.... Fulcon children are expected to stay until adult or adopted unless leaving of their own volition which is an abnormal thing which happens with shinobi right? This didn't suddenly get one million shades darker when I wasn't looking right?
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2020
    Fulcon likes this.
  12. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

    Joined:
    May 1, 2019
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    3,452
    That's about it, I think.

    Honestly, I didn't think too overly hard about it.
     
    Hypervane likes this.
  13. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2018
    Messages:
    199
    Likes Received:
    580
    It's cool. Here at Galactic Lavatories Inc we think about all the dark, filthy, unspeakable things so you don't have to.
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  14. High Lord Rokland

    High Lord Rokland Getting out there.

    Joined:
    May 9, 2019
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    114
    Will Ero-sensei be coming to see Daisake earlier in this version? With all his bullshit gamer gains he should be on Jiraiya's mind as a possible fit for his whole fated teacher role.
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  15. aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

    aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2016
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    380
    It’s cool to see you here Fulcon! I really have enjoyed your writings!
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  16. zarion

    zarion Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2017
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    315
    Fulcon When you first started the haunted mansion arc, I legitimately thought you had him in a genjutsu again because all the names of the missions Kakashi mentioned are Fallout mission names, but I guess it was just an Easter egg.
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  17. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

    Joined:
    May 1, 2019
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    3,452
    Good, I was afraid that I had committed some unspeakable sin for not thinking overmuch about it.

    It's possible, but unlikely. I actually don't like the character so if I don't have to write him, I won't.

    Thank you, I'm glad to be here.

    Yeah, just an easter egg.

    Also, there was an Elder Scrolls reference in there. Wolf Queen, in reference to that crazy necromancer lady that tried to sacrifice her entire empire to a Daedric Lord.
     
    Hypervane likes this.
  18. Anthony1967

    Anthony1967 Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2020
    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    452
    It's a joke...
    R/whoosh
     
  19. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

    Joined:
    May 1, 2019
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    3,452
    Okay, since now I've got this arc behind me, it feels like a good time to ask you guys your opinions on stuff.

    #1: How is Daisuke different from his first incarnation? Is he better or worse?

    -Hisako and Nichiren as well?

    #2: How do you feel about the extra hints for the future? Does it excite you?

    #3: Do you think Daisuke and Hiruzen are destined to clash like in the previous draft?

    -Should they?
     
  20. High Lord Rokland

    High Lord Rokland Getting out there.

    Joined:
    May 9, 2019
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    114
    1.Both are way more fleshed out at this point, keep it up.
    2.I am horrible at reading hints, so I try and stay grounded, sorry.
    3.The 3rd seems to be remorseful for his reaction toward Daisuke. I was honestly torn by them being at odd in the last draft as I thought both had points if each was being out of line.
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  21. Kejmur

    Kejmur Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2018
    Messages:
    1,131
    Likes Received:
    4,489
    Better. Also I think this one should avoid some issues that showed up in previous story, mostly frustration of dealing with his charisma, and lack of Almost Perfect perk, that at one point would turn into his obsession.

    Here he managed to 'secure' higher charisma (6) pretty early on, so pressure to not be socially alienated here is far lessened.

    I would say yes as well. Especially Hisako, as there is more relationship between her, and Daisuke, so her 'crush' isn't as out of nowhere as in previous story. It's more organic here, and we clearly see from the start how her crush develops from the start.

    I may be wrong, but Daisuke should be less foolish, and reckless, then previously. This Daisuke doesn't feel as obssesed with getting stronger, and sociopathic. He's more relatable, so yeah, this story should go in some different directions than previous one.

    Again, I think in this one this relationship should be far less rocky and conflicting, mostly because of the changes that happened to Daisuke. He is calmer, more focused, and mostly not as angry, and frustrated.

    Although as I mentioned (and you), Hiruzen has... issues with keeping relationships positive. So if someone causes issues, it will be him IMO.
     
    Seij and Fulcon like this.
  22. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2018
    Messages:
    199
    Likes Received:
    580
    I've already talked extensively about everything but point three. So I'll keep to that for the most part.

    Having immediately been shown that his previous stance on Daisuke was completely unfounded, and that he has metaphorical scorpians in his own backyard to focus on the third's conflict with Daisuke, if there is one, cannot be the same as last time. Boy has been using his disguise henge for long enough it's the expected norm at this point.

    As for what a potential conflict could be about, you could have Daisuke discover bits and pieces of Hiruzen's failures, and either resent them, be endangered by them, or both. This doesn't have to evolve into a full open conflict with actions being taken against each other, if done, but it would bring Hiruzen's ghosts into the direct purview of the early story, completing his promotion to a semi main character.

    Even after Orochimaru, Danzo, their various underlings, and leverages ally assets are dealt with you still have a central philosophical conflict that you could use.

    The Will of Fire, the standing policy to love thy village as thy family, and as shinobi protect them, is a lovely idea. Something that could be said to be laudable to aspire to. As things stand, as they've stood, it's sadly a lie. Bring up that various people, like Daisuke and Naruto, were thoroughly shunned for being ugly or other unknown reasons.

    Bring up how the Henge was the first real jutsu you learned just to have some degree of normalcy, and connection. How you never willingly take it off. How it helped you build a relationship or two, but didn't actually solve the underlying problem in the academy or the orphanage. Outside of your small group of friends and confidants people were constantly trying to startle you out of your henge, either to rip away your comfort or just to laugh at you you don't know.

    How you tested out early to escape that dreadful environment. Thank goodness the team you eventually ended up with included the only two students from your original class who didn't pull that shit. Too bad you couldn't do actual missions immediately afterward like you planned. Even on simple D ranks you were going to get an apartment much sooner to escape most of the orphanage. Maybe give Naruto another safe space to be welcomed, to escape to if even for a little while.

    Oh well the extra time to read in the library made you stronger right? You suppose you'll have to accept that consolation.

    You don't understand why Naruto got the same treatment. He's not ugly, and while he's a stubborn little boy at times he's less malicious than most. You don't have a speech for him, but what you've seen proves that your experience wasn't some isolated incident.

    Okay that's the general blueprint of a potential conflict to use. Small reminder, Danzo was the one who leaked Naruto's secret. He wanted the boy isolated and malleable as possible. All the better to use as the weapon Biju hosts traditionally are.
     
  23. Bellcross

    Bellcross Plot is king

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2017
    Messages:
    199
    Likes Received:
    768
    I would 100% miss it...Looking back, the signs go over my head.. And it's not necessary intelligence, I have very little to no social intelligence, I usually fake it till I make it...even that's a stop-gap...

    I'm book smart, not people smart.

    Looking back at my youth, I remember one girl staring at me, eye to eye with a grin on her face telling me "how much she loved sex"
    I was informed years later when I brought up the situation that she might have interested in me.
    and that's a pretty obvious one and I missed it

    I wonder how many others I missed as well, I wonder how many I'll still miss...
     
    Hypervane and Fulcon like this.
  24. aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

    aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2016
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    380
    Hi, I also want to say that I’m really enjoying this new take on your story. I only just realized this was something new lol, I thought you were reposting... I liked your old version but this one flows very nicely and I’m finding it very enjoyable. Not having that horrible charisma nerf just makes all the interactions so much smoother :)

    I don’t really have an opinion either way for #2. For question #3 it seems less likely that a misunderstanding like what happened before will happen again. But this is completely up to you, I can easily think of realistic situations that would lead to a lack of trust between the two.
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  25. MMMm

    MMMm Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    May 11, 2018
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    501
    It would be more of a conflict of the doctors not wanting Daisuke to leave. If he's saving lives or he's able to reattach limbs and advance medical ninjutsu beyond what the people in Konoha currently have, then they'd want him there to keep doing that instead of risking his life on missions. For example, if he's skilled enough to fix spinal injuries then his skills could bring a lot of retired shinobi who lost their careers to injury and the 9 tails attack back into service.


    Any jutsu he creates are learnable by normal people, they'd just need to meet the requirements of chakra control and skill. He's still only one person and even with shadow clones, there are many jobs that doctors and nurses do that Daisuke wouldn't walk in there and replace the entire hospital system with himself. I don't think Daisuke wants to change bedpans or deliver babies, for example.


    It also puts him on Kabuto's radar. He might want to turn Daisuke to Orochimaru's ideals, thinking he's another genius prodigy type who wants to learn everything there is to know about ninjutsu and might be motivated by power and the opportunity to experiment without any morals or regulations getting in the way.


    Also, I don't see much potential for conflict with Hiruzen. Daisuke's goals are completely different in this universe and he's MUCH less of a hothead. The original Daisuke was much quicker to anger and used lethal force faster. He also didn't have as much of a connection to anyone in the world around him.

    Hiruzen has placed Daisuke in the mental box of a misunderstood prodigy who lacks social skills and has bigger things on his plate to deal with since he learned that Danzo is apparently a traitor.
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  26. Jus4532

    Jus4532 I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2017
    Messages:
    635
    Likes Received:
    1,249
    Hey Fulcon, I have a question. Whenever Daisuke is crippled and sleeps on a furniture, does he instantly heals when waking up or does it slowly happen during the sleep and finish when he wakes up?
     
    Fulcon likes this.
  27. Threadmarks: Chapter 8: Getting It Together
    Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

    Joined:
    May 1, 2019
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    3,452
    The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release.

    * * *
    If there was anything in the world I was grateful right now, as far as the game goes, it’s that I never have sleepless nights.

    I just plop myself down on a bed, engage the sleep command and I wake up refreshed and rested in the morning.

    Still had nightmares, though. They were annoying and reminded me of what happened when you became a Vampire in Oblivion; terrifying dreams.

    Last night? I had a nightmare about the Brotherhood of Steel nuking Konoha and attacking it with Liberty Prime. Naruto died in my arms from Radiation Poisoning...but I didn’t wake up until the game made me wake up.

    So a good and bad thing.

    Logically, I know that having a Nightmare means that my brain is processing what I’ve gone through by whatever insane scenarios it causes. But it was still unpleasant. Still, I’ll take the nightmare over lying in bed for hours at a time trying to get to sleep.

    As I was walking around, pacing, thinking. I was too stressed out to even think about breakfast and since I didn’t need to eat, there was no over powering urge to sit down and eat a bowl of instant ramen at least.

    Yesterday, Kakashi-sensei came to see me as I was discharged. He told me that I was to report to the Hokage’s office this morning at nine. Apparently, I’m being assigned a body guard, which had me on edge. The more someone is around me, the more likely they’ll notice that I am not of Konoha and then I’ll really be up a creek.

    It’s just nerves, but nightmare scenarios are easy think about, especially after the House.

    Is it time to go?

    I’ve still got a few minutes.

    Okay, look. Daisuke. Relax. Focus on what you want to accomplish. What’s a good thing that happened today?

    Well, our mission got bumped up to A-rank and we’re being paid as such. Which means that I get to go on a shopping spree and finally get some furniture for my apartment. Might get some armor, but frankly, furniture is cheaper.

    Besides, I think I’ll be able to make my own armor in another level or two, maybe earlier if I can find some Fuinjutsu skill books. With carbon nanotubes, because I can.

    When it was time to go, I took to the streets. Looking around, keeping a close eye out for any other horrifying monstrosities that would run out of the midday shadows to grab me like the werecrow had wanted to do.

    Then the thought occurred to me that there might be a sewer level at one point.

    My nose twitched and my nostrils flared just at the thought as I hurried along to Konoha’s headquarters.

    The Academy was the same as I remember it; I need to remember to scour the Genin section of the library for skill books tomorrow. Today is furniture and planning day, tomorrow is progress day.

    Up the stairs I went until I came to the Hokage’s receptionist. A pretty girl with long purple hair, which was different from the last time I had been by here, where it was a brunette with her hair in a bun. I think the ANBU run different shifts or take turns if they want something boring.

    “Hi,” I said, waving to her. “Shimoda Daisuke, here to the see the Hokage?”

    The receptionist looked up. “Go on up, he’s expecting you.”

    “Thank you.”

    The Hokage’s office was up a bunch of stairs on the highest level of Headquarters, which shared a building with the Academy for reason’s that aren’t exactly clear to me. Honestly, I’m just wondering why the Receptionist’s desk is way down here because…

    I came to the office and knocked.

    “Enter.”

    Open the door and came to the office, which was just one desk in a massive room that could easily be renovated to let the receptionist have her desk up here so people didn’t have to run up a million miles after talking to the receptionist.

    At the desk sat the Hokage, and across from the desk was...well.

    I can’t tell whether I should be happy or frightened.

    If I’m reading the room right, my body guard was Mitarashi Anko. Her short purple hair was tied in a spiky and pointed bun. She wore a tan trench coat over her transparent mesh...those abs are amazing. Just...wow.

    Anyway, Daisuke, don’t ogle. You remember how she cut Naruto’s cheek open with a kunai and licked up the blood; she’s crazy.

    I walked up and bowed. “Hokage-sama. Reporting as Ordered.”

    “Shimoda-kun,” The Hokage said with a wide smile. “Now, I believe that Kakashi-san told you that you were being assigned a body guard? Allow me to introduce Mitarashi Anko, she’ll be your daytime bodyguard.”

    “Nice to meet you,” Anko said with a grin, bowing herself. “Hokage told me to blew a bird-thing clean in half.”

    “I did,” I replied with a nod. “So if you’re my daytime bodyguard, whose got the night shift?”

    “I have ANBU watching over you while you sleep,” The Hokage replied easily. “You don’t need to worry about anything.”

    Perception Check Failure: 5/6.

    Intelligence Check Success: 10/7.

    Nice way of saying he already had people watching me without admitting to it.

    “So is this a temporary arrangement?” I asked. “No offense, Mitarashi-san, but…”

    “It’s until we can be sure that threats to your person have been dealt with,” The Hokage replied.

    “You’re stuck with me until we’ve killed the bad guys,” Anko answered with a smug grin.

    I shrugged. “Fair enough.”

    “Hey relax,” Anko said, trying to go for a more friendly smile. It worked. Kind of. “I’m going to stay quiet and out of the way. The Hokage just wants you to have a public face to your protection. That’s it.”

    “So you’re just going to be hanging around me all day?” I asked.

    Honestly, it’s not that bad. Reminds me of my mission, actually. The two year long one, back in my old life before that car crash.

    “Pretty much,” Anko replied, nodding. “Hanging back, on the constant look out for threats, ready to eviscerate someone at the first sign of trouble. You know, bodyguard stuff.”

    Charming.

    “Alright, well, I guess we can get going after I get my payment,” I said.

    “Yes, that’s right,” The Hokage said, reaching for something in his desk and pulling out a voucher. “Here you go. You’ve been well compensated for your work at the house.”

    I took it. Yup, A-rank. “Thank you, Hokage-sama. Is there anything else?”

    “Nope, both of you are dismissed.”
    * * *
    I...well, we, went back to the streets. First destination was a furniture store, so I was walking...and turned around to face Anko while I was walking. “Could you walk beside me, please? Having you trail behind me is freaking me out.”

    This actually made Anko pause. “No can do. Keeping you in my sights is the best way to do my job. Some one jumps you, I got a clear view.”

    I mean, facts. “Okay, but what if someone jumps you?”

    Anko stopped, then laughed. “Look, kid-”

    “Don’t call me kid.”

    My response was automatic a little more hostile than I had wanted it too be, but still.

    Anko stopped. “Look, Daisuke. You don’t need to worry about me. You’re the one who needs guarding. I’ll be fine. Behind you!”

    Easily, I slid around the obstruction, an old man moving forward with his walking stick. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I ignored him. “Thanks. But seriously, it makes me feel weird that you’re trailing behind me.”

    “Well, that’s too bad,” Anko replied with a frown. “I’ve got a job to do.”

    I blinked. “Fine. Just don’t trail too far behind.”

    Anko smirked. “I won’t.”

    Right. Not my missionary companion, my bodyguard. Don’t know how I slipped into that pattern again, it’s been over fourteen years since I got home. Anyway, furniture store.

    I walked inside, grabbed a sales person immediately. Grabbed a single sized bed with it’s appropriate frame, a sofa, a recliner. A dinner table small enough to fit in my kitchen with four chairs. Night stand, lamp, alarm clock that I didn’t need with my internal clock...aesthetics, you know?

    The entire time, Anko trailed behind me, uttering not so much as a peep as she watched me go through furniture. Eventually, we finished and I was able to store it all in a set of storage scrolls that I had labeled Grand Room, Bed Room, and Kitchen.

    With that done, I still had enough cash to grab some office supplies from the store down the block. One sheet of Chakra Induction Paper, which was more expensive than the other types of paper by far, a collection of pens and several clipboards.

    Those will make sense later.

    Last place? Lunch.

    Not Ichiraku Ramen, I just wasn’t in the mood. An Akimichi restaurant because they had the best food. We were sitting down with a waiter taking our order. Placed my order of steak and looked across the table to Anko. “Alright, what do you want? My treat.”

    “Oh, I don’t need anything,” She hurriedly said, waving me off. “Don’t worry-”

    It was at that second that me, the waiter and Anko all heard the impossibly loud sound of a stomach rumbling.

    I grinned. “That wasn’t mine.”

    Anko went pink, her eyes wider than the plates here in the restaurant. “I...uh…”

    My grin just got wider.

    She let out an embarrassed sigh. “Knew I was forgetting something…”

    “Seriously, I want to treat you,” I said. “Think of it as a way to get to know each other since we’re stuck together.”

    Anko pressed her lips together in a thin line. “Alright, I’ll take the Seared Marinated Duck. If it’s not too much trouble.”

    “Nonsense!” I waved it off. “No trouble at all.”

    After we took our orders and I paid the whole thing before Anko could even take her wallet out. Because screw it, I felt like being generous.

    “So,” I said, leaning back. “What kind of mission is this? B-rank? A-rank?”

    “S-rank, actually,” Anko said with a nod.

    “Ah, that’s why you signed on to babysit me,” I replied. “Makes sense. How often do you get paid?”

    “Every other week,” Anko replied, folding her fingers together and laying them on the table. “So yeah. It’s a pretty awesome mission.”

    “A little boring, though,” I suggested as our orders were delivered “I don’t think anything is going to happen for a while.”

    “Hope so,” Anko said, taking up her chopsticks. “So...just so we’re clear, Shimoda-kun, I want to keep this professional.”

    ...I really hate it when people refer to me by my last name. Just irks me. “Same. I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”

    “I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Anko replied. “I don’t want to insult your generosity or anything, it just seemed like you had other intentions.”

    “Nah, I don’t think it’d be a good idea,” I agreed, nodding and slicing off a bit of steak. “I really don’t think you’d be my type.”

    Anko got this look on her face. “Have you heard about me before?”

    Speech Check Success: 34/30.

    “I heard one crazy story that you like to cut people open and drink their blood,” I answered, remembering that scene in the manga right before Naruto went into the forest of death. “Sounded like garbage to me, but I didn’t know you personally.”

    She let out an irritated breath. “Alright, who did you hear it from? Was it Hatake? Maybe that old man Okawa?”

    “It was a while ago,” I said, hoping she’d take that as meaning that I didn’t remember. “But is there any truth to it?”

    Anko picked up a piece of duck with her sticks. “Sometimes I intentionally freak people out if they’re annoying me. I like pulling pranks. I’m kind of morbid. But I’m not a bloodthirsty snake-demoness or anything. Honest.”

    “I believe you.” I nodded, plopping the piece of steak in my mouth and reveling in the taste.

    Yeah, I need to learn how to cook. Stuff is delicious.

    “Good,” Anko replied, looking down at the plate with a frown.

    “Still, if I’m annoying you, why haven’t you tried freaking me out?” I asked because I just had to know.

    “Call it a gut feeling,” Anko started with an overly sweet smile. “But I think I’d find myself out of a mission if I tried.”

    I smirked. “Gotcha.”

    From what I remember, she was Orochimaru’s apprentice. I’m not going to ask about it just because I know she despises him and is on the side of angels...sort of… but maybeshe might be of help when I’m working on my seals.

    I’d like to pick her brain, at least.

    Anko moved to take a bite, but stopped once again to look at me. “Thank you for lunch though...I really appreciate it, I don’t want to sound ungrateful.”

    “You’re welcome.”

    She took a bite and moaned from the delicious food. I found myself wondering how it would sound in a...different context.
    * * *
    After lunch, I just had one more think to buy. A gallon of milk and some chocolate syrup.

    Because we had chocolate and syrup and it had been way too long since I had chocolate milk.

    And because I needed to do an experiment.

    We came to my apartment and I opened the door. “Come on in, make yourself at home.”

    For me, I got to work setting up the furniture. My grand room quickly had a sofa and recliner in it, with a coffee table sitting between then. The kitchen table and chairs set up and then I walked to my bedroom and got the bed and everything set up there.

    Next, it was time for me to work.

    I returned to the grand room and saw that Anko had taken a post by the glass door to the balcony. She hadn’t removed her shoes, but the carpet didn’t register any footprints.

    Well, that was polite of her, I guess. First thing’s first...I need the coffee table out of my way. I just sealed the table back into the scroll and placed the scroll on the sofa. With that, I unsealed the milk, syrup and seal paper.

    ...then the Chakra Induction Paper.

    Time to see what element I am.

    With the slip of paper stuck between my fingers, I channeled chakra into it.

    The world around me got blurry and a green text box showed itself.

    Choose an Element:

    Fire.

    Wind.

    Lightning.

    Earth.

    Water.

    Oh, that’s neat. Is time paused? Yeah, time is paused, I’m not breathing. Alright. Uh...lightning. I love lightning. Lightning is awesome. Lightning means electricity, which paved the way for the modern world and the internet, which I missed horribly.

    I picked lightning and the world immediately cleared up. The piece of paper in my fingers quickly shriveled up into a ball.

    Element Affinity: Lightning.

    You’ve got a shock in your system! Lightning Jutsu now cost less chakra and are more effective.

    With a satisfied nod, I tossed the crumbled up piece of paper over my shoulder and started work.

    I unsealed the stack of eight-by-eleven paper and the sheets of seal paper I bought, as well as the pack of pens, hurriedly torn open. With several clipboards to write on, I got to work.

    Chakra: 0/85.

    Chakra Strings hoisted the seal paper, getting the sheets into position while grabbing the regular pieces of paper to hold around me, also lifting the pens and clipboards so I could write and take lots and lots of notes.

    First thing is first.

    Melee needs to be my weapon of last resort. Not because it’s weak, but because it’s situational. The werecrow was fast and it could fly, making melee a bad choice until I could catch it by surprise. If it weren’t for it’s sadism wanting me to die from fall damage, I would be dead.

    Then there were the wallies, which had demonstrated immunity to melee period. I couldn’t reasonably fight until Sensei taught me the Lightning Kunai, which is a cool jutsu, I guess, it’s just something that needs to be spammed and it taking handseals to have one bolt come out just makes it a terrible jutsu.

    Good for beginners, I guess.

    But I can convert the technique to Fuinjutsu, which means that I just feed the chakra into the seal and it can spam the jutsu out as much as I want, allowing for machine-gun action. That would make the jutsu go from borderline useless to the Most Effective Tactic Available.

    Well, I’d have to be careful of wind users, since it’s a lightning Jutsu. But still. I wouldn’t have to worry about running out of shuriken since my chakra comes back really, really quickly. Empties quickly, comes back quickly, like in Fallout, where I had Action Points instead of Chakra.

    In essence, it means that my jutsu aren’t necessarily limited by my chakra pool, but are instead effectively limited by a timer. Since draining my chakra meant I was up a creek until it came back, large, chakra intensive techniques should be saved for the end of the fight.

    What I intend to do is use my Mixing Seal as the basis for an assembly line seal. I put in raw materials in the input and then in the output, I get a finished product. In this case, a blaster pistol.

    I started drawing a rough sketch of the pistol I was going to build, with the dimensions needed to house the Lightning Kunai seal. I think a revolver-esque design would work best; the empty chambers in the cylinder where bullets would normally go would make for a lot more surface area for writing seals on.

    Being honest, I’m going to need a lot more skill points in Fuinjutsu before I can create this assembly line thing that I’m envisioning, but books for Fuinjutsu shouldn’t be that hard to find. At least, we should have some in the Library on the Genin level.

    For armor, I know that Jounin wear Flack Jackets and those are okay, their nylon inserts provide a little protection. But for me, I’m going to go with a more modern looking bullet proof vest with inserts with, again, carbon nanotubes. Way more protection than ballistic nylon.

    With luck, I can use the seal to repair and maintain my gear. Because while I was able to find additional jumpsuits after I was discharged, I’d rather not have to replace things every time they break. I should be able too.

    Moving on from there, I need to start working on supplies. Medical kits to fix up my crippled wounds, canteens of water for raw HP regeneration, bandages, antivenom and other medicine. Seriously, I have no business being caught out in a combat encounter without healing items. A bedroll is not good enough. Sure, we don’t have Stimpacks, but that doesn’t mean I should ignore the medical field entirely. And of course, I should ask Kakashi-sensei for medical jutsu. Even if I can’t cast it, just knowing it would be enough for me to create an item or something that lets me heal myself and turn Chakra into health. Chakra regenerates, health does not.

    From there, there’s more esoteric tools.

    ...like Genjutsu.

    Look, I’ve always thought that the mind is sacrosanct. I don’t want to mess with someones brain, especially not throwing how they see the world into chaos. But...these are people that want to kill me. They want me dead. If Genjutsu is what’s going to save my life, I need to use it.

    But I am not going to sleep well on the night that I finally use it.

    Still, it gives me an idea; Genjutsu operates through you sending your chakra into another person’s chakra system to send faulty signals to the brain. Well, what if instead of sending signals, I’m just analyzing what’s already there? Like mind reading.

    That way it’s more like eavesdropping on a person’s plan to kill you and it’s less stomach churning. For me.

    And then, if you’re just analyzing what’s already there, you don’t even need to directly focus on one person, you can send a wave of chakra out to everyone around you, like how killing intent makes you think your very soul is in jeopardy.

    ...come to think of it, could you use an opposite of killing intent to keep people calm?

    Like a Calming Intent?

    And then, what else could you use it for? Happy Intent? Sad Intent? Erotic Intent?

    ...I blame Anko over there for that last one.

    Anyway, let’s shelve the easily abuse-able techniques for much later. Mind Reading would be a serious boon. You know who already has a monopoly on mind screw jutsu? The Yamanaka clan. Isn’t Ino in Naruto’s year? Yeah, she is. Pity she’s so wrapped up in trying to win Sasuke over.

    Anything else?

    There has got to be a way to weaponize my henge.

    I mean, beyond the sexy jutsu which Naruto nearly lost a tooth over when he tried it on me. What could I turn into that would make the partially illusion, partially literal transformation an actual weapon to use in combat? Turning into your opponent’s is good, just a little situational and I don’t think I can pull it off.

    Turning into an animal is mostly illusion and doesn’t bring with it the benefits of, say, flying if you turn into a bird.

    My mind briefly flashed back to the lab with the werecrow and I hurriedly shook it off.

    Well...could I turn invisible? Basically, turn into myself, just completely transparent.

    There’s got to be a reason no one’s really tried it before. I know that the Second Tsuchikage was a terror for how he could turn invisible, a technique so powerful that even the Hyuuga couldn’t see him. But a henge would be a purely visible change. Sure, it’d still leave a chakra signature but most Shinobi as I understand it wouldn’t be able to take advantage of that.

    I took a moment to review all the notes I took on the pieces of paper, going over the blueprint I made of the gun, then the notes I took of the assembly line seal.

    Yeah, this all looks good. Now for the experiment.

    I quickly laid all the paper down on the sofa and drew in my chakra strings.

    Chakra: 85 / 85.

    From the kitchen, I withdrew the milk and chocolate syrup, along with a bowl and a glass. Back in the grand room, I placed them all down on the floor and brought a seal sheet to the floor in front of me.

    I saw Anko look on with interest but I just continued on. I created a mixing seal with a marker, and placed the glass and bowl in the input circle. In the cup, I poured the milk. In the bowl, I squirted out large amount of chocolate syrup.

    Fuinjutsu Check Success: 27/25.

    And then beside the assembly line, I started working on the reversal, bringing over the pieces of paper with a pen and started trying to engineer how to do the mixing seal process in reverse.

    Intelligence Check Success: 10/8.

    That was a bit more complicated than I thought. Not because it was more complicated, necessarily, but because I had to change more than I expected. Whatever, we should be fine now.

    I stood at the right spot and placed my hand down, storing the milk and chocolate in the seal and started to combining process.

    If all goes well, I should have an empty bowl and a cup full of perfectly mixed chocolate milk.

    Then in a small flash of light, out came the cup and bowl. The bowl was completely empty. The cup, however, still had white milk in it.

    Well, it was a partial success.

    Perception Check Success: 5/4.

    The liquid level in the cup was higher than when I poured it, so something happened.

    I went to the kitchen to fetch a spoon and came right back to dip the spoon in the cup. When I withdrew the spoon, it was coated in chocolate syrup, which was in turn coated with a thin, white film of milk.

    “Huh,” I heard Anko say in response.

    “That’s a little disappointing,” I replied. “Still, it kind of works.”

    “Yeah,” Anko agreed with a respectful nod. “It’s impressive, though. I wouldn’t have thought to try that.”

    “Thank you.”

    I used the spoon the manually mix the chocolate and milk and placed it on the next seal...the seperator. With the bowl since the goal is to get the syrup back in the bowl. I started the process, causing both cup and bowl to disappear and then reappear on the opposite end of the paper.

    It was a success, kind of. The bowl now had half the chocolate milk from the cup, with no meaningful separation between milk and syrup.

    Back to the drawing board, I pulled the clipboards in front of me. I need to increase the power and effectiveness of the array, obviously, but I need to figure out how to do that. Maybe by taking this line over here, expanding this section?

    But if I expand this section, then I need to reinforce this part and then make it smaller. But then if I do that, I’d need to rearrange the I/O circles. But then if I do that, then the array needs to completely change.

    Intelligence Check Success: 10/7.

    Fuinjutsu Check Failure: 27/45.

    After a while, my plan for the array turned into this massive, incomprehensible blob and my eyes were starting to go cross-eyed. At the end, I simply had to give up because I didn’t know enough about Fuinjutsu to create a better seal.

    I was rubbing my head with groaning. The chocolate milk only soothed my nerves, it did not do anything about this headache.

    “May I take a look?” Anko asked, stretching out her hand with a small smile.

    “Sure,” I said, handing it too her.

    She looked over the design, rubbing her chin with narrowed eyes. “I think you should shelve this for the day.”

    “Why do you say that?” I asked, standing up and stretching.

    “Because,” Anko began, handing me back the clipboard. “If you’re finding yourself adding complexity and then trying to compensate for that complexity to solve a problem, it means that you’re missing the simple solution and if you come back later, you’ll find it.”

    She doesn’t have a failed Skill Checks telling her she sucks and everything is horrible.

    “I guess,” I replied with a shrug, throwing the clipboard on the sofa. “Who told you that?”

    “My,” Anko began, her expression darkening. “My old Sensei.”

    Charisma Check Success: 6/6.

    “You know, I wouldn’t mind talking Fuinjutsu with you,” I diverted quickly, sensing a need to change the subject. “Not even in a teaching capacity, I just think it’s fascinating.”

    Anko smirked. “Well, we can certainly do that. Actually, I have a book on Fuinjutsu that I could let you borrow.”

    “Yes!” I fist pumped.

    Anko’s eyes got a little wide in surprise.

    “Oh, uh,” I started, a little embarrassed. “I really like books is all.”

    She just started laughing.

    I sighed. “Alright, well. I got some more planning to do then we got to go. I’m meeting my best friend once he gets out of the Academy today.”

    “More planning?” Anko asked with a raised eyebrow.

    “Yup.”

    She grunted, a little surprised. “That mission really scared you, huh?”

    I stopped, unsure of how to respond. Because, well, duh, but how do I actually articulate it? Do I even want too?

    Speech Check Failure: 34/50.

    Shut up, game.

    “Sorry,” Anko immediately said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just...it happens, you know? It’s fine. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

    I was quiet as I cleared a place to sit on my new sofa. “Thanks.”

    My little black book had a permanent home in my back pocket, along with a pen that I used to write in it. It also had a note section, but I found that since it was so small, it was insufficient for my note taking before hand. It was here that I’d plan my level ups. All the other stuff is replaceable. This...this had to be in English.

    This was where I planned my progression as a character.

    I was going to leave my Chakra Control where it was, and wait to find two more skill books to raise it to 100 or failing that, I’ll raise it to 100 when I’ve got the other skills up to 80. I’ll have enough skill points to max the good number of them out.

    My mid-game priority is to get Fuinjutsu to 80. Once that happens, I can work on Ninjutsu and Genjutsu for late game, when I can cast multiple jutsu at once without hand signs. At that point, I might as well grab that snazzy gray suit I saw while clothes shopping.

    Level 7 will bring my Fuinjutsu to 44, by dumping all 17 points into it. Level 8 will bring it to 61. Level 9 will have it be 78. At level 9, I’ll finally have it to 80 and then I can start putting points into Medicine. Why Medicine?

    Because in the original Fallout’s, you could get implants that permanently increased your SPECIAL stats. I think I’ve covered this before, but since I’m writing it down, I want to make it official. Given Elemental Nation’s obsession with Genetic Engineering and making the strongest Shinobi ever, there has got to be a way to make a Genetic Therapy which will permanently raise my stats. It might take a while to actually complete the therapy, but Medicine will at least allow me to make my own in the event that I can’t find it.

    The perk for level 8 will be Fuinjutsu Enthusiast, which increases the general power of my Fuinjutsu by 10%. Because more powerful seals are a good thing. Then there’s Tattooed Armory, which I can get at level 10; that basically does the same thing a Fuinjutsu Enthusiast, but only for seals written on weapons and armor and it’s a 15% bonus.

    At level 10, grab Chakra Seals, because being able to write seals without ink and proc a Summoning Contract without blood is amazing.

    Level 12, I’ll grab Toughness, which will increase my Damage Reduction from it’s current 15% to 25%. Taking a quarter less damage is good.

    Level 14, there’s Adamantium Skeleton, which will literally infuse and coat my skeleton with an indestructible metal.

    Going further, I’d like to unlock One Handed Jutsu, but that has a requirement of 60 Ninjutsu, Genjutsu and Chakra Control and I’m not going to have the requirements for it until much later. So...put that on the back burner. Level 16, I might as well grab Lady Killer.

    Because I’m male and I firmly believe that any woman in my position would be perfectly within her rights to grab Black Widow.

    Then there’s Elemental Affinity, which...there’s a ton of them. There’s the basics, allowing me to have the rest of the basic elements. From there, there’s the combinations. Yeah, there’s combos. They have level requirements, though. So if I wanted to use Fission Release, for instance, I’d need Fire, Air and Lightning perks, and then I’d need to take the perk for Fission Release itself.

    There’s only one that’s got my eye right now, and that’s Creation Release.

    Toy with the very powers of creation and laugh as you warp the very laws of the universe! You now have access to Creation Release.

    I’m going out on a limb here and say that it’s Level 50 requirement is justified. Of course, I think that’s a perk you get once the game is over and you’re ready to just start screwing around. The idea of anything that can challenge a player when they’ve effectively got God Mode on is terrifying.

    I mean, what could do that?

    One of those BS bonus bosses that make the main villain look like a chump?

    The biggest Kaiju ever?

    Another god?

    ...I’ll have to keep my eye out.
    * * *
    Author’s Note: I wanted to keep going with Daisuke’s future plans, but I don’t have them all planned out myself. Because he’s not leveling up so quickly and because his leveling curve is so different and toned down from last time, a lot of the timing of the previous perks has been shifted to late game. Besides, it seems like a good place to leave it off.

    I got a question about Daisuke’s rest – does he heal rapidly over the course of an hour when he takes a nap, or does he only snap to healing at the end of his rest. To this I say...thematically, the latter works, but because it makes more sense, we’re going with the former. He heals rapidly over the course of an hour.

    I hope everyone enjoyed Anko’s introduction in this draft. In the previous one, she wound up drifting too far, too fast away from what she was and frankly, canon Anko would’ve laughed at first draft Anko in a fit of condescending rage. So here, I’m recalling that Anko sliced up Naruto’s cheek with a thrown kunai and licked the blood off his face to shut him up when he made fun of her. So...yeah. Far cry from the woman that Daisuke married in the first draft.

    Any thoughts on any of this, or in general, would be appreciated.

    Shout out goes out too Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Ventari, PbookR, Seij, ChristobalAlvarez, Apperatus, EPiCJB19, Seeking Raven, Handwran, Russel Beatrous, and Richard Whereat. Your continued support makes this possible!

    Until the next time!

    ~Fulcon
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2020
  28. HypoSoc

    HypoSoc Time, once consumed, has no meaning

    Joined:
    May 4, 2014
    Messages:
    4,013
    Likes Received:
    29,609
    I think you have some old drafts in there?

    Where have you established that Daisuke was in Fallout before this? Where have you established that Daisuke came BACK to Konoha when he was born?
     
    Relyt33 and Fulcon like this.
  29. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

    Joined:
    May 1, 2019
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    3,452
    Um...what?

    I'm very confused by your question.

    EDIT: The game system he uses is from Fallout and thus, that's his frame of reference.
     
    Seij, Relyt33 and zarion like this.
  30. HypoSoc

    HypoSoc Time, once consumed, has no meaning

    Joined:
    May 4, 2014
    Messages:
    4,013
    Likes Received:
    29,609
    This mostly. Though I see it's "missionary" not "mission". But the "got home" parsed awkwardly, as it felt like "got home to Konoha." He's been there for over a decade now. Is it still not home? If it's still not home, then there should be more loss, or direct juxtaposition to the idea that he lost his home.

    I feel like the missionary background is being spoken of as if it was introduced before as a prominent point. When you introduce it off hand like this, it reads very strange.

    Also:
    This is ambiguous and it seemed to read as he WAS a fallout character before. Combined with the previous, that's how I ended up parsing things.
     
    Warer, Relyt33, MasterMarx and 2 others like this.
Loading...