Tandem the Spoony's Next Adventure [F/SN x CM(D&D)]

Character sheet is here; with D&D sheet w/inventory attached:

 

From our knowledge of shoggoths and other such things would they be relatively easy for us to defeat using solely physical attacks or do we need to pull out our magic in order to defeat them?
Because in the former case I'd go with cutting down the ones in front of us and destroying the alter and circle, perhaps using rumor to reality to boast about having previously injured their boss and them being easily wiped out cannon fodder to you.

 

Treat them like oozes; slashes work best against them. A mix of slashes and offensive magic would probably be best for this if you wanna get it done ASAP.

 

Well that sounds like a decent plan for handling the shoggoths.
[X] Take down shoggoths as quickly as possible. ie: What Ender said was quickest way of killing them.
[X] Destroy altar and circle.

Essentially cutting down the shoggoths as quickly as possible followed by destroying the thing which seems to be changing humans into shoggoths. If anyone sees any flaws in my plan please tell me because I'm unsure if I'm missing something or doing something that's going to end in disaster.

 

Is there any reason we SHOULDN'T try invoking the lesser Defiance of Fate here?

I guess my vote is:

[X] Take down shoggoths as quickly as possible. ie: What Ender said was quickest way of killing them.
-[X] See if you can get Issei's body away from the mess in the process. Use variants of Dispel Magic to try and purge whatever is in his system. You owe it to Shirou to try and save his friend.
[X] Destroy altar and circle.

 

Yeah, I'm going to back you up on this one. Whilst I don't think Issei is saveable, I would rather not set a bad precident in terms of the level of effort to be put into saving insane and/or corrupted friends of Shirou....

Plus, it could work, and there's no harm in trying.

[X] Take down shoggoths as quickly as possible. ie: What Ender said was quickest way of killing them.
-[X] See if you can get Issei's body away from the mess in the process. Use variants of Dispel Magic to try and purge whatever is in his system. You owe it to Shirou to try and save his friend.
[X] Destroy altar and circle.

 

[X] Take down shoggoths as quickly as possible. ie: What Ender said was quickest way of killing them.
-[X] See if you can get Issei's body away from the mess in the process. Use variants of Dispel Magic to try and purge whatever is in his system. You owe it to Shirou to try and save his friend.
[X] Destroy altar and circle

 

[X] Take down shoggoths as quickly as possible. ie: What Ender said was quickest way of killing them.
-[X] See if you can get Issei's body away from the mess in the process. Use variants of Dispel Magic to try and purge whatever is in his system. You owe it to Shirou to try and save his friend.
[X] Destroy altar and circle

 

[X] Take down shoggoths as quickly as possible. ie: SEDUCE THEM.
[blockquote]Rolled 1d100 : 65, total 65[/blockquote]

 

... I don't...

What is this-

Haha.

HAHAHahahAhaHAHaha~!

 

[img width=600 height=367]http://img.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/tdomf/188926/Embrace%20insanity.jpg[/img]
but mostly I was thinking of this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiyore!_Nyaruko-san

 

Seeing Shirou so poorly armed, you toss your Sword of the Planes to him so he would stand a chance, "Shirou; catch!"

Hearing you call out, and seeing the sword; Shirou tosses aside the pipe and grabs the blade, then proceeds to go to town on the shoggoths with it. Since they're from...some twisted world or another, the sword is empowered by the enchantments on it. Not to mention that it's probably even stronger since you're on a different plane than any you've ever heard of.

Meanwhile, you also fight off the horrors from the abyss; using your rapier to slash at the tar-like beings and setting them on fire with a fireball or two. Thankfully, your rapier is capable of slashing and stabbing; unlike most normal ones. Had it custom made to be like that, just for situations like this.

God, oozes are always a pain in the ass to fight; stabbing does nothing, smashing only spreads it all over and that usually means acid to the face for everyone, and slashing only breaks them up into smaller chunks. Obviously slashing blows are the most effective, being basically controlled smashing of the ooze, but it's not by much.

What's even worse is that these fuckers are made of tar, or something like tar; which is hard as balls to get your sword through. But thankfully, that's where Rider came in: her eyes managed to solidify the things-that-should-not-be enough so that your sword wouldn't be jammed in their bodies. Plus, the chunks that did come off turned to stone; which made the chances of them pulling themselves together rather slim.

Even with these advantages; it was a though fight. The monsters could warp and shift their bodies to any form, far more than any ooze or slime you've ever fought. Some even took on your form; and man was that creepy as fuck. Not to mention there were twelve of them and three of you; being outnumbered always blows. Oh, and the whole 'every second you look at them your mind breaks'; that sucks too.

But you managed to put them down, and keep your sanity; Rider smashing them with brute force and her fists when her dagger proved useless. You with fire and flashing steel. And Shirou, man was he kicking ass; he managed to make a second Sword of the Planes and was chopping them down faster than a dwarf chugs ale! Kid seems to be good with two swords at a time, though it almost seems like he's being...guided in his strikes; like he was copying the movements from someone else...

Eh, whatever; time for that later, ritual busting time now! When the last abomination falls, you rush towards the ritual circle...

...Only to be thrown back in a blast of power, as the body floating within turns hit empty, soulless gaze at you.

Yes! I can feel it! The essence of the master flows through me! I, who possess the gift of many forms, am graced to be reshaped in his divine visage!

Issei had become a monster; his shape constantly shifting as arms became tentacles which became faces locked in terror only to turn back into tendrils and claws once again.

The former human's face was a in a mix of bliss, terror, ecstasy, and agony; you couldn't tell if he was smiling, or grimacing. Or both. His eyes were filled with both terror and worship, and his body was wracked with convulsions of both pain and pleasure.

I am one with the Crawling Chaos! It hurts, but it is a good pain...

He turns to look at you, his form still ever-shifting. Pointing a...forelimb, he utters out, Now you shall fall before the might of Nyarlathothep and know the futility of your defiance!

Then, he; or rather it, begins to gather dark energy into it's tendril...claw...things, ready to fight and kill you.

...Fuck, this is gonna suck...

Tactics:
[X] Evasive: DODGE!!!! Stay light on your feet and pepper it with pot shots, at least until you can find a weakness.
[X] Offense: Attack and don't let up; don't let it even get off a single attack and you'll eventually turn it into paste
[X] Diversion: Be offensive and loud, and keep his attention on you so Rider and Shirou can hammer it with sneak attacks
[X] Write-in

Notes: I would've put Issei's text in zalgo; but that doesn't play nice with the forum...

 

Spoony/Tandem is right; this is gonna suck. I...think we're past the point where we can feasibly expect to save him. At the very least I don't see a way to pull it off, which in my mind equates to the same thing.

This is probably the scariest Issei ever written in fanfiction. The only thing that comes close is, well, canon Issei with Caster speaking through him. What is with this poor boy and mind fuckery? Let's just hope we don't have to fight Kuzuki anytime soon....

I'm not sure we can count on Shirou to deliver the finishing blow, but frankly he probably needs the resolution. Whether killing his best friend out of mercy makes him stronger or breaks him, mug's game.

If we can pull off Offensive more power to us. Activate lesser Defiance of Fate and we're probably solid.

Evasive, good for us, not good for our companions.

Hmm....must think on this.

Oh hey, on the plus side Issei being conscious means we CAN use Dominate Person on him. Although after this merger I kinda doubt it would work. Maybe if we'd tried before....but, oh well.

 

[X] Offense: Attack and don't let up; don't let it even get off a single attack and you'll eventually turn it into paste

 

[X] Diversion: Be offensive and loud, and keep his attention on you so Rider and Shirou can hammer it with sneak attacks

Because Tandem is most amusing when he's trash talking people who can flatten him Looney Tunes style and use him like a piece of toilet paper. Also, it's his most successful strategy (for a given value of success) so far!

But mostly because I'm willing to bet his ability to antagonize eldritch abominations far exceeds his ability to kill them, and Shirou's got two sword of extra-dimensional ass-kicking.

Also, if anything can bring Issei back, it's gonna be Tandem calling him out like a bitch. Maybe even piss off Nyarlathothep so much Issei is kicked out of the mold so Nyarlathothep can ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL and bitch slap the fucker that killed him the first time around.

 

when you put it like that...changing vote to: [X] Diversion: Be offensive and loud, and keep his attention on you so Rider and Shirou can hammer it with sneak attacks

 

Might wanna cross out your old vote to be safe.

 

[X] Diversion: Be offensive and loud, and keep his attention on you so Rider and Shirou can hammer it with sneak attacks

 

[X] Diversion: Be offensive and loud, and keep his attention on you so Rider and Shirou can hammer it with sneak attacks

 

[X] Diversion: Be offensive and loud, and keep his attention on you so Rider and Shirou can hammer it with sneak attacks

 

Forgot to do that thanks

 

You know come to think of it, if we were willing to accept collateral damage and truly massive prana drain we could just whip out Excalibur.

 

Aren't we underground in an enclosed space?

 

Hence collateral damage.

Also, Tandem and Rider straight up cannot be harmed by non magical things. At worst the go astral and float up. Shirou's the only liability and I refuse to believe two Heroic Spirits are incapable of saving his ass.

If nothing else we have boots of teleportation. And dimension door.

 

A giant magical explosion in an enclosed underground space is still a giant explosion in an enclosed underground space.
I'm less worried about rubble killing Shirou, though that's still a possibility, than about the giant magical explosion killing everyone.

 

Excalibur is not an explosion, so no problem. It's more like a super intense laser.

 

[X] Diversion: Be offensive and loud, and keep his attention on you so Rider and Shirou can hammer it with sneak attacks

 

...wait has shirou ever been in contact with Excalibur. Like actually using, the REAL Excalibur? O

[X] When in doubt, Whip it out...Excalibur that is. Stealthily toss it to Shirou, you'll distract this thing, while he gets in a good enough position to take a couple pot shots at it. Hopefully that coupled with The Sword of Planes will be enough to take this thing down.

 

Shirou is already using two swords of planes. With superb skill. I think Tandem has enough sense to not knock a good thing when he sees it. Besides, Excalibur is attuned to Tandem now.