Tandem the Spoony's Next Adventure [F/SN x CM(D&D)]

Oh, misread that. Also, forgot about the attuning switching vote now.

[X] Diversion: Be offensive and loud, and keep his attention on you so Rider and Shirou can hammer it with sneak attacks

 

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You decide to do what you do best; being an insufferable jackass to be a distraction for someone else. Dancing around Issei's tentacles, you quickly belt out every possible insult you can think of; mocking and belittling everything from his religion, his family, to even his sexual orientation. No ground was too sacred to taint with your stinging wit and endless insults. Some highlights are:

"Fear you god? Why? I've already made him my little bitch! Tell him he's overdue for paying his sugar daddy, will you?"

"Hey man, I don't blame you for going for the transformation; just because your tastes are...different doesn't mean that they aren't disgusting as f-PFFT! Oh god I can't finish spewing that bullshit."

"Man, never though tentacle rapist would be an improvement in the looks department. Guess I really haven't seen everything."

"Now, be honest; are you really doing this for creepy cultist religious reasons, or is that about the homoerotic tension between you and Shirou? It's nothing to be ashamed of, there's nothing wrong with batting for the other team. And it's not like he rejected you or anything, right?"

"...Oh. Well; there are plenty of other fish in the sea, don't get hung up on it. You'll find that special somebody eventually; and hey, who knows? Maybe they'll be into the tentacle shit just like you!"

"RAAAAAGH! Shut up! Shut up! Shut UP! By the outer gods you are annoying; I will both loathe and relish watching the light fade out of your eyes as I crush your neck. Relish, because you'll finally be dead; loathe because I'll have to deal with you annoying our dark master. I do not look forward for being chewed out for sending your sorry ass to Nyarlathotep." Issei yells in exasperation; finally having enough of your annoying dickery, and sending tentacles to finish you off once and for all.

He was so focused on ending your life and shutting your trap, that he didn't notice Shirou launching a surprise attack at his back; stabbing him through the heart with two copies of your Sword of the Planes. Eldrich Issei screamed in agony, and you took the opening, dashing through the tentacles to reach the blades. The tentacles were making reaching said blades difficult; that is, until Rider used her chains to bind several of them to make the opening you needed.

You dashed forward, grabbed both blades, and let loose every Dispel Magic spell you had available to you. This made Issei's screaming even louder, and blinded the entire room in a flash of light. When the light subsided; you saw Shirou clutching Issei's now human body, the former abomination on the verge of death.

The cultist looks up as Shriou and says, "Ah; Emiya-kun, it looks like-" he coughs, blood spewing from his mouth, "-this...is the end, huh?"

"Issei..." Shirou looks at his former friend, distraught at what happened to him. Tears in his eyes, he asks Issei, "Why...why did you do this?"

"I...she warped our minds Emiya; showed us that which must not be seen," another coughing fit ensues, and you can see the life starting to fade from him, "All of us...we became nothing more than puppets to the will of her dark masters; blinded by madness and insanity. But you....you saved me..."

"Saved you? Issei, you're dying! How...how can this be saving you!" Shirou demands, frantic as he watches his friend die; confused as to why he's thanking him of all things for killing him. But you know why, you've had to do it yourself from time to time on a quest that's taken a turn for the worse. It's a hard thing to do; putting down a brother in arms, before they turn into a monster.

But, in then end...

"You saved me...from myself; Emiya-kun. Thanks to you....I can die a man. Instead of living...as a monster." Issei begins another coughing fit after having said the words you've heard from your own fair share of comrades that fell to this fate. He manages to whisper out one last thing, but you can't hear it. The only one who did was probably Shirou. But after that, the last bit of life faded from his eyes; Issei dying with a smile on his face.

Shirou looks at his deceased friend, shocked and distraught at his death; but confused by his dying words. You walk up behind him and lay a hand on his shoulder, comforting him, "Let's take him out of here, he deserves a clean burial."

Shirou looks up to you, tears falling down his face; a hollow expression on his face, "Tandem..."

You grip on the kid's shoulder, and continue talking, "Shriou, you did everything you could. It had to be done; and you heard it from Issei himself: he wanted this. It sucks, but in the end...you did save him. You saved him from the hardest thing he had to face; himself.

"Look," you gesture at Issei's face, "See how peaceful he looks? The smile on his face? That's because of you, Shriou. Because you pulled him out from the darkness and madness, and restored his humanity to him in his dying breaths. No man wants to live as a monster, or die as one either. You saved him from a fate worse than death; saved his soul so it wouldn't be in agony in the afterlife."

Shirou doesn't say anything; just lifting up Issei's body and making his way out of the basement and school. You and Rider both follow after him, seeing him laying the body down in front of the school. He turns to you and says, "We can't bury him...we-his parents... They deserve the right to see him."

You shake your head, "Remember what he said, Shirou? Everyone at the temple's fallen under some woman's control. It's probably Caster's doing. They've already lost their free will; leaving his body here only gives them the chance to use it for dark and evil magic. Better to just do it ourselves and let him rest in peace."

He looks dismayed at your reasoning, but eventually gives in. You take the body and cremate it with a fireball spell; sending the ashes scattering to the winds, leaving a grave marker in the yard; one that you all plan on moving to the temple once Caster is deal with. With that done and over with, you all head off to rest for the evening; the events of the day taking their toll on you all.


Today was a somber affair; everyone quiet in the wake of Shirou's mourning. You informed Bazett of what happened at the school, warning her about Caster and the possibility of there being other agents of her's lurking around town. She just nods and tells you that she'll be careful; not that she was planning on heading out all that often anyways.

Rider was also there, dressed in casual wear and wearing glasses instead of her regular outfit. You raise an eyebrow and Rider explains, "My master realized that you preferred to 'hide in plain sight' and prepared accordingly. There are several outfits he sent for you as well so you could conceal yourself without astralizing."

"And the glasses?" You ask, curious as to how those worked and why she didn't need her eyemask.

"Apparently they suppress my gaze, using the magic you taught him. So far they seem to be working." Huh, didn't think the kid would actually make it to item crafting; definitely born to be a wizard.

You then smile at Rider and compliment her, "Well, it definitely suits you; it's nice to see you in something besides the fetish outfit. Not that I didn't like the fetish outfit..."

She barks out a single laugh, "Of course you did." However, you saw the slightest hints of red on her cheeks. You knew you were winning her over; no woman could resist your roguish charms and rakish looks.

Before you could continue your banter with the voluptuous beauty before you, you heard someone at the door. Somewhat irritated that you were interrupted before you could really get into the flirting, you nonetheless head to the door; because Shirou was probably in no condition to be seeing other people right now.

When you saw who it was, you were surprised to find Cirno of all people at the door; looking quite solemn and with a letter in hand. She looks at you and greets you, "Hello."

"Hi, um...not to be rude but; what are you doing here?" You were surprised that she even knew you were here. Especially considering where you ended up after you met her in the club.

"Gil saw you dragging a body out of the school; that with the news and we figured out what had happened, more or less," she hands you the letter, "As such, he's postponing the party for a day so that your master can have a proper day of mourning. We didn't see what happened inside, but it's clear that your master was hit hard by what happened. This way you can still come to the festivities, but not be as burdened by yesterday's events."

Ah; that made sense. You nod in understanding and tell her, "Thanks. We'll be there, just as promised."

Cirno also nods and bids you farewell; elaborate wings of ice appearing from her back, she takes to the skies and heads off to do whatever else she had planned for the day. Meanwhile, you had matters to attend to here.

Mainly; Shirou. The kid's been through quite a bit, especially since this was his first 'active' outing as a hero-to-be. You're going to have to handle things carefully...

[X] Talk to him, have a good heart to heart
[X] Leave him be, sometimes a man needs time to himself
[X] Give Shinji a call; he's a friend, have him help
[X] Write-in

 

[X] Give Shinji a call; he's a friend, have him help

No way this could go wrong. Also, good to see you're working on this, again!

 

[X] Talk to him, have a good heart to heart

 

[X] Talk to him, have a good heart to heart

WTF, Gil is being sensitive? I smell something fishy here...

 

Gil is still the king of heroes and Shirou is showing the potential to build himself into one in an era that it is incredibly hard to do so. Maybe by actually accomplishing shit he can convince Gil that he doesn't need to destroy the world for Heroes to exist again. Remember that the whole reason that he wanted to go fuck the world was because people were boring. There were no heroes or great evils to tell tales about. There were no monsters that a relatively normal person could slay to build a legend and there were simply so many people that they couldn't become as great as they once could.

 

The Gil here, much like the American goverment, is held to a system of checks of balances by his two other comrades. He's also a bit less of a dick because Enkidu's around.

 

[X] Give Shinji a call; he's a friend, have him help

 

[X] Talk to him, have a good heart to heart

 

IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!

Tandem rides again! Hopefully in the near future he'll be riding Rider.

Also, I am amused by Cirno and Enkidu successfully making Gilgamesh back down.

 

You know... Shinji may actually be the right choice here. Tandem played a large part in the death of Issei and the immediate aftermath. That alone says we should probably have someone else do it. Eavesdropping and popping in with our own words at the end however is still a good idea I think.

 

Yeah but while Shinji is a lot nicer right now due to Tandem, he still doesn't strike me as the best choice for comforting Shirou. Not to mention that seeing as we're essentially the king of charisma we should be able to comfort him well enough.

Also I wonder what the backlash of Issei vanishing is going to be? After all Issei was fairly important at the school so we can assume some questions are going to be asked, particularly to Shirou who was a good friend of his.

 

Okay, I wasn't seeing the point of Shinji but I'm starting to warm up to it. We did play a large part. What makes me think Shinji won't cock it up was...

Well, us.

We have Charisma out the wazoo and Shinji worships the ground we walk on. We can convince Shinji of pretty much whatever we want. Including that Issei's death is a truly horrific tragedy, that Shinji SHOULD put down the magic books and commiserate with his friend, that Shinji really does in fact consider Shirou a great friend and that Shinji liked Issei....

You get the idea. We can prime Shinji to be a the nicest guy he can be. Or what Shinji views as a nice guy.

That said, ridiculous Charisma means Tandem can also probably work through whatever reservations Shirou may have about us personally.

And there is, of course, the write-in option: hit the bar and let the drink flow.

 

If Kotomine is even around anymore it would technically be his responsibility to cover it up.
Otherwise Rin might deal with it, if she finds the time.

Edit:
Did we ever get confirmation on whether or not Kotimine has already left on his quest to inflict divine judgment upon sinners?
And if he did leave already, did he at least bother to call in a replacement mediator first?

 

[X] Bro Shinji is a Bro.

 

[X] Bro Shinji is a Bro.

 

Its Back!
Yesssssssss!

[X] Bro Shinji

 

Sorry about the seeming lack of update; creative juices flow weakly. Update tomorrow~saturday; for sure.

 

You lied.

 

You necro'd. And speaking as someone who has also been in the position of lacking time or inspiration to write to an intended deadline, I very much doubt your input is appreciated.

The people who complain about a free lunch....

 

The last post was less than a week ago. Not a necro.