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The Only Winning Move Is Overwhelming Firepower [PA Multicross SI]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by TCGM, Oct 7, 2018.

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  1. adaw

    adaw Know what you're doing yet?

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    You are reinforcing my remark about you being an idiot savant.
    Also you've been upgraded from spray bottle to electric dog collar for this and other transgressions.
    All of this, for a promise eh?
    I would've simply coerced those fuckwits at Bethesda ("The stick is misfortune and pain without end. The carrot is I'll build you a nice island to retire to. You can guess how I will react to snitching or betrayal.") After all I don't need to fix Bethesda, just get them to hand over control to me so I can hand over control to the guy who developed Sword Art Online.

    On the topic of what I'd be doing if I had power like what SI is given, I'd probably just play the "mysterious and enigmatic alien", or the "apathetic outsider". I fucking hate politics, the amount of corruption and stupidity IRL has forever stained my opinion of politics.

    "Human Habitat-001 is operational. Immigrants are welcome."
    "... that's the entirety of the message?"
    "besides some requests from them to open immigration offices, yes."
    "God fucking damnit. It would've been bad enough for another player on the political board game to appear, but instead we have an aliens fat ass smothering the board while the rest of us are still trying to play!"

    Somewhere else, far away, my avatar smiles and whispers "Death to politics!"
     
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  2. Threadmarks: Chapter 17 - Barging In
    TCGM

    TCGM (Unverified God/Space Snek)

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    The Only Winning Move Is Overwhelming Firepower
    Chapter 17
    Barging In

    I finish pulling open the Oval Office's door with gusto, spreading my arms wide. "Honey, I'm hoooooome!"

    Dead silence meets me for several seconds. And then…

    "Planetcaller?!"

    I start, looking for whoever called my name. "Huh?"

    Kate stares at me, agape. "Planetcaller!" she repeats, clearly annoyed. "I'm in a meeting! You can't just-"

    "I need to buy Maryland," I say, cutting her off. I also continue on into the room, closing the door behind me.

    She sighs and entirely cuts off her tirade, somehow sensing the headache she's about to get. She reaches up to rub her eyebrows. "Why."

    "That's where Bethesda is!"

    She drops her hands and stares at me again, this time very flatly. "The game company?" she asks.

    I nod vehemently. "Yes."

    "Why do you want to own the state where a game company is?" Kate asks me incredulously.

    "So I can either buy them out or take them by governmental fiat," I reveal confidently.

    Kate blinks in surprise, then her gaze turns incredulous. "What?"

    "I need to own Bethesda. I promised Kayaba I'd do it," I explain succinctly, shrugging. "It's part of his therapy."

    "...Kayaba," she deadpans. Her look of utter bewilderment informs me that she definitely thinks I'm not running on full brainpower. Er, nanitepower.

    "Akihiko Kayaba, Madam President," her aide informs her. "Creator of the Nerve Gear."

    Kate nods to her. "Ah."

    The entire room finally finds that, of all places, a good enough spot in time to begin talking over each other.




    Eventually the room ends up shutting up after neither I nor the President respond to them. The entire time, Kate’s studying me like a particularly interesting zoo exhibit.

    "Is this why you bought the west coast?" Kate suddenly asks, realization dawning on her face.

    I quickly feel less confident in my current plan. "...Yes?"

    Kate slumps in her chair and puts her face in her hands. "God damn it, Planetcaller."

    "What?"

    "Only you could accidentally buy the wrong coast of a country," she mumbles.

    My protest is vehement. "Hey now, it's not the only reason-"

    "To buy a game company!" she continues, pulling her head back up. She splays her hands out towards me in disbelief. "And not even a major one!"

    “You take that back! Bethesda has made many great games! Sure their more recent ones have been dogshit, but still-!” I start to fire back, only to find myself cut off by another swiftly approaching Kate Lethbridge-Stewart trademark tirade.

    "I've heard of corporate espionage, but this is insane," she fires my way, almost sounding accusatory. “What did Kayaba promise you to get you to do this?”

    “That he’d get therapy,” I flatly declare.

    That takes the wind out of her sails. The building storm vanishes, replaced by a mixture of what I will henceforth call ‘what the ever living fuck’ and ‘what did you say?’ combined with sympathy.

    “...Therapy?” she asks, bewildered.

    "I've said that twice now," I confirm with a decisive nod.

    "You're willing to buy parts of countries because someone who works for you needs therapy," she succinctly sums it up.

    I nod again and clasp my hands behind my back. "Yup!"

    She sits there in stunned silence for several long moments.

    "...Are you insane, or are you just fucking with me?" she finally asks.

    "Neither," I honestly reply, "at least not right now. I'm very serious about buying or conquering Bethesda."

    She screws up her eyes at me and gives me a look of flat disbelief.

    "Are you taking the President seriously, son?" a stereotypical old war general that my quick internet lookup says is Kate's Joint Chief for the Army speaks up. "Because you are not acting like it, and you are disrespecting her and this country."

    Did he just…?

    I review my memories as I shift my jovial look into a cold, hard one, and turn to glare at him.

    He fucking did.

    And it was the same guy who declared me an unstable maniac when he didn't know I could hear him through the wall.

    Well then.

    Time to use that acting skill I honed in all those plays.

    Maximum ham with a side order of deadly serious dictator coming right up!

    ...Now I just have to figure out how to come across that way. Shit.

    Welp, I'm fresh out of ideas, time to wing it.

    "No, Clark, I'm not," I inform him, using his name as a sign to him about just where on the totem pole of the power hierarchy I am. "I'm not taking your entire planet seriously. Not you, not Kate, not your country, not any country." My eyes narrow as he tries not to gulp. "You'd better pray to whatever fake mythological deity you believe in that my state continues, because once it stops, once I stop having fun, I will do whatever it takes to resume my fun and no longer have to worry about whatever stopped it. Permanently."

    That sounded decently menacing! Alright, now let's see, how can I make it stick- I KNOW!

    To complete the suitable amount of drama I'm pouring into my little performance, I step forward, bend down, put my hands on the table, and as I say my last words, squeeze just hard enough to make the wood creak ominously loudly. "This will occur no matter who, what, or which ideas attempt to stand in my way. You've got millions dying on your planet every day from disease, oppression, war, slavery, ideological viruses, sycophants, psychopaths, extortion, and regimes. So long as the effort it takes for me to override your entire planet to solve that once and for all is more than my desire to actually do so, you'll remain in power and your systems can keep rumbling along, only with me cleaning up behind and around you. But… if you make me care, if I actually have to listen to my conscience and all that is good, just and kind?" I sigh and shake my head, closing my eyes momentarily. "Look, I don't recommend choosing the other option. It'll be annoying for me and devastating for you."

    I look around the room at the pale faces, not the least of which is Kate's, and internally grin. Mission accomplished, message delivered, now I can be fun again.

    I shift back into jovial joker mode with the ease of coming home. Which, you know, it is, as that's my neutral state at rest. I take my hands off the slightly cracked table, then stand up.

    "Now, how about Bethesda?"

    Kate picks up one of her pens with an admirably steady hand. "We'll… I'll uh… I can eminent domain them, at least their businesses here in America, and give them over to you." She takes the offered calming tea her surprisingly unfazed assistant offers her without her even having to ask and takes a sip to recenter herself. "If that's alright with you gentlemen?"

    The various, delayed, and very cowed voices around the table slowly saying variations of 'Yes' just make my grin wider.

    The President sighs with relief. When her eyes open, she's all business again, good old unflappable Kate Lethbridge-Stewart.

    "And then you can stop buying up parts of my country for the sole purpose to get at a video game company." She shakes her head and mutters something rather unkind about my priorities under her breath. "Does that sound good to you?"

    I give her a grin and a thumbs up. "Exactly what I needed. Thanks."

    Kate shakes her head yet again, sighs, puts down her tea, and starts writing on a fresh and very official looking sheet of paper inside an extremely expensive looking leather bifold case her aide hands to her as if she's actually a part of Kate.

    She's the only one besides me and Kate who are daring to do more than breathe.

    I stare suspiciously at the aide, who ignores me. I need to get me one of her, because holy shit, her coordination and preparation is impressive.

    Elsa is great, but she's not Super Secretary great. She's a bodyguard and doesn't try to hide it.

    I need a desk jockey. Wonder if she went to a prep school for assistants or something? Maybe they've got more of her for hire?

    One lookup later, she pops up in the totally not SHIELD's ranks.

    Ah. Spy. Well, at least her nonchalance towards me makes sense now. And her near superhuman secretary powers.

    ...I wonder if the totally not SHIELD, and boy do I need a proper name for them, would let me hire one of their spies as a secretary?

    Food for later thought. And maybe I can get Elsa to convince Nicki Fury that it's a good idea, too.

    I'm sure at least one of the other 12 people in the room will relearn how to talk other than one affirmative word by the time Kate's done.




    One of those other people in the room does figure out how to talk again. And walk, even.

    Shame he didn't learn not to poke bears. Bears which give speeches about how bad an idea it is to fuck with them. Especially after having said yes to something they want to backtrack on now, so they go up to the bear and demand it back.

    Seriously, how do these Darwin Award candidates keep getting into government on fictional Earths?

    He's currently standing in front of me, trying to stop me from leaving. "Now hold on there just a minute, Planetcaller," he says. "Ya can't just go off and start takin the product of hard work from job creators, ya hear?"

    I blink at him, look down at the copy of Executive Order 66 in my hand, then back at him. "Ten bucks says you're wrong," I inform him.

    He chuckles and shakes his head. "I'll have that taken all the way to the Supreme if you push too hard, little fella," he retorts.

    I look at him strangely. "Little fella?" I repeat his words. "Do I look or sound little to you?"

    One of his fat hands starts reaching for the order slowly. He also seems to be completely ignoring my previous question. "Why don't ya just gimme the thing and we can put this all behind us?"

    ...Why would he think me giving him this would help him in any way? It's just a copy. Kate, the President glaring daggers at him from behind my back, has the official one.

    Also, 'little fella'? Really?

    And yes, I'm still on that!

    I'm a gods damned space alien from space who can reverse hurricanes, bought a significant part of America and formed my own country, is good mutual annoyance buddies with his leader, and oh yeah, have about a foot and a half of height on him. Not to mention the weight difference, despite his chubby disposition.

    Is this guy a moron and a dumbass?

    I pause just to humor him while I look him up online. He keeps talking, badly veiled threats flying a mile a minute, and I totally ignore all of it. I even pull my hand back as slowly as he's inching his forward.

    Old pasty white guy, southern accent, overweight, dense as a brick and fully of the belief in his own power over me, so let's check the reds first. Oh look, there he is, and he's been responsible for a ton of dangerous and shitty bills. Lots of them in service of those 'job creators' he so loves talking about on the campaign trail.

    Not that I'm surprised.

    ...Huh, and he also is involved with Bethesda. One of the minor shareholders who just got Eminent Domained.

    That does surprise me. Small World Trope, pure coincidence, or the more likely one, Writer Me screwing with me?

    In any case, I'm not interested in anything he might manage to bubble forth from the sewer that is his brain, so I cut him off. "Jim-" I say, entirely uncaring about his actual name, "can I call you Jim? Here's the thing."

    I lean into his personal space and I'm pretty sure he just now realizes how much taller and wider I am than him.

    "I don't care about you, I don't care about your opinion, and your entire party deserves to be shot out of a railgun into the sun," I inform him. I point behind me at Kate to emphasize my next statement. "Kate has impressed me. She's interesting. I actually care about her and her opinion." My arm drops to my side. "I do not give a shit about yours." I mime slapping the annoyance in front of me to the side while I step around him. "Begone, thot."

    Nobody else tries to stop me from leaving.

    I take to the sky and orient towards Bethesda's HQ, making sure I don't break the sound barrier until I'm far enough up. Only just, though.

    I've got a Presidential Order to deliver and a company to receive!

    Seriously, it really is Executive Order 66. I'm not sure if that's a numbering system that Writer Me set up to screw with me, Kate herself screwing with me, or both, but I don't really care.

    Because I get to go Order 66 the company that made Fallout 76.
     
  3. Zeushobbit

    Zeushobbit I use my mind and yours doesn't matter.

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    ...you magnificent bastard.

    Well done.

    Kate's reaction to his reasoning for land purchase was perfect.
     
  4. Noxy

    Noxy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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    You cant go Order 66. You first need to give Bethesda a clone army and then you get to do Order 66.
     
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  5. theonebutcher

    theonebutcher Hahaha! ... Waitaminute... Oh God NO!

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    Nah, Doxes are a reasonable substitute. Do however make a few Doxes. One of my favourite PASI moments is when a Batarian Humongous Mecha is completely outclassed by a single Dox. After the Commander fought the ground forces through an extended slugfest with his original creations. I like to think that most of the original creations of PASI's would be absolutely destroyed by the efficiency of the vanilla units, which are backed by a thousand years of field experience.
     
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  6. MadGreenSon

    MadGreenSon Verified Devil Tiger

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    "Technology has been captured, assimilated, refined and transformed into brutally efficient self replicating mechanisms of war." It makes perfect sense that advanced AI, the people that created it, and the crucible of unending war would end up making better, more efficient and powerful weapons than what some internet rando comes up with.
     
  7. SirMaou

    SirMaou Making the rounds.

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    Yeah I want to get the guy that almost Greg goo in therapy.
     
  8. theonebutcher

    theonebutcher Hahaha! ... Waitaminute... Oh God NO!

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    That would probably be the most awkward and inappropriate Apokalypse... Well, after Penis of Justice
     
  9. Flutters Is Shy

    Flutters Is Shy Friend of the Rage

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    Oh god Kate, you did the one thing you NEVER do in a 'Trickster God' scenario!

    You were interesting.

    Almost kinda expected him to drop an age comparison during the speech, just to shut them up that much more.

    "Son? Pfft. Well, listen, son. I am older than every person in this state combined, you gibberish spewing infant."

    What are they gonna do, call bullshit? I'm an immortal alien, checkmate bitches!
     
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  10. Extras: Chapter 18 and 19 (April Fool's 2020)
    TCGM

    TCGM (Unverified God/Space Snek)

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    Chapter 18.

    AN: Special nanitez (get it, coz Im comender) 2 my reeders (ew not in that way) 4 helpin me wif da writin and story and spelling. U rok! Justin u suk.

    Hi my name is Planetcaller Semi Benevolent Troll and I have long red brown hair (I got my name by buzzing airport towers) that reaches my shoulders and blue eyes which change color sometimes and a lot of people tell me I troll people (AN: if u don’t know this get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to humanity but I wish I was because nanitze just aren’t the same u no. I’m not a vampire but my skin kinda looks like one that visited a beech. I’m also a Commandar and I own a whole country in the United Stutes where I’m the benevolent dictator (I’m less than a year old striktly speakin). I’m a bombardment fetishist (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear whatever the hell I want. I love nanotech cuz I don’t need to buy any clothes and can make whatever I want. For example today I was wearing cargo shorts and a tshirt while I pranked the President. Also some tennies shoez. I was walking into Bethesda after owning them because of the president. It wasn’t snowing but there was no sun because the sun only shines on the west coast which I wasn’t happy about. A lot of the employees stared at me. I told them I was gonna make their company great again.

    “Hey Planetcaller!” shouted a voice. I looked to them. It was… Tina Howard!

    “What’s up Tina?” I asked.

    “Nothing.” she said shyly.

    But then, I heard my systems call me and I had to go away.

    AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me peepz!

    Chapter 19.

    AN: Thangz to TOskin & Amaceeta 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

    The next day I woke up in my Beacon. It was snowing outside. Elsa was playing around or something. I opened the nanite wall to my room and drank some hot chocolate from a flassh flabriacted mug of it. My room was nice and homey and had RGB lighting which could shift to make the wall scenes look col. I left my room and took off my fluffy pajamas. Instead, I put on more cargo shrots and a blue TShirt which says My Other Ship Is A GSV using my nanotes. I put on my cool sunglass shades and shook my hair arond.

    My friend, Natasha (AN: dis is totally not Black Widow) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length red hair with curls and opened her eyes. She put on her suit which was totally not a spy suit no really with combat boots and made sure to leave her zipper down a little because she was still trying to seduce me for my secrets for some reason.

    “OMG I saw you talking to Tina Howard yesterday!” she said fake excitedly.

    “Yeah? So?” I said, wondering how she did that cuz I was on the other country.

    “Do you like her?” she asked as we went out of the Beacon habitataiotn area and into the elevator.

    “No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

    “Yeah right!” she exlcaimed. Just then, Tina walked up to me, somehow bypasin me Beacon’s security.

    “Hi.” she said.

    “Hi.” I replied flatly.

    “Guess what.” she said.

    “What?” I asked.

    “Well, God Emperor Putin is coming for you.” she told me.

    “Oh. My. Fucking. Gods!” I yelled. What the hell was he doing? He’s not that dumb!

    “Well, are you gonna handle it?” she asked.

    I grinned.
     
  11. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Versed in the lewd.

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    Did I miss something? I'm lost.
     
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  12. TCGM

    TCGM (Unverified God/Space Snek)

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    The date
     
  13. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Versed in the lewd.

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    Ah... Time sure does fly.
     
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  14. Arielus

    Arielus Making the rounds.

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    I felt physical discomfort reading this and brought back many nightmares of other stories not the least of which was the immortal HP fic along with others
    Curse you to the depths
     
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  15. JammyASDFG

    JammyASDFG Getting some practice in, huh?

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    I feel like this chapter deserves a like and a dislike, I can't decide which to actually give. It hurt me to read but was quite funny.

    I think I will give it a like while glaring at you.
     
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  16. Threadmarks: Chapter 18 - It Just Works
    TCGM

    TCGM (Unverified God/Space Snek)

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    The Only Winning Move Is Overwhelming Firepower
    Chapter 18
    It Just Works

    "Todd!" I bellow from the air several hundred feet above the parking lot.

    A small man who used to have big visions places a hand over his eyes. "What?" he calls up. "Who are you? Are you flying?! How?"

    "Physics, Todd! They just work!" A second later I drop to the asphalt, allowing my legs to make their true metallic clangs for once. I then walk the couple of feet towards a very surprised Howard and hand him the copy of Executive Order 66 in my hand. "But you don't, because you're fired!"

    I leave behind his gaping, shocked form as I waltz straight into Bethesda Softworks HQ, a somewhat busy lobby meeting my eyes on the other side of the door.

    "Hey!" I shout, ensuring my voice resounds in the large, mostly empty of furniture entryway.

    The employees, some of them at least, stop what they're doing and look at me. Every one of them is confused. After a moment, I see recognition in a few of their eyes, and I grin.

    "I own you now!" I inform them. "Fancy order from the President and everything. I fired Todd, he's out front. It's time to make Bethesda great again!"

    The cheer is slow to start, but boy is it loud.




    "It's real," the assistant ssys, hanging up his phone call with D.C. Funnily enough, he's not a not-SHIELD agent. Just a really good assistant. To Tina Howard.

    Yes. That Howard. He apparently has a kid in this universe. I don't know where Writer Me gets this stuff from, but I'd put good odds it's from the character and quest generator he must've finally got working to a usable level.

    Tina Howard sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Okay, great, fine," she grumbled at me. "You've taken over Bethesda from my father. Ignoring that I was supposed to run it eventually, as is my right, what the hell do you want with us?" Her glare of hate is legendary.

    I grin, lean back in my comfy executives chair at the other end of the long conference table from her own head chair, and shrug. "Not much, actually."

    Tina blinks. She's the spitting image of her father, only blonde and for once on the slimmer side. Given most of the other women I've run into in this universe, I've been beginning to worry that one anime rule in particular (just size starts at a C or you're flat, no in between) was in full effect. Nope, just coincidence. Anyways, so it is that a female, blonde Todd Howard looks at me with no small degree of shock.

    "What do you mean?" she hesitantly asks.

    "I seized Bethesda to get ownership of Argus, the company that created SAO and NerveGear and was started by Akihiko Kayaba. I don't really have any plans to make you guys do anything."

    Tina blinks again. She stares at me for several long seconds, then leans back and sighs. "Why then did you fire my father?" she demands.

    I raise two fingers and pronounce the words like they're pure poison. "Fallout. 76."

    Tina has the good grace to wince, and the assistant looks way before his huge grin can be seen by me. Too bad for him I've got effective omniscience in the building due to the cloaked nanite swarm that follows me around. Or rather… is following me. I came up with the idea on the flight over here from D.C. after reflecting on the Nanite Storm which lets Elsa do what she does. Why not have my own to ape my own superpowers, right?

    "I wish I didn't have to agree with you that you've been fair," Tina grouses, crossing her arms.

    I shrug. "Hey, I may not have any plans but I never said I didn't have possibilities in mind," I offer, extending her an olive branch.

    "I know a pitch when I hear one, Planetcaller. Spit it out."

    I mean forward and plant my hands on the table. "I am an alien from space." Technically true, I'm not from this Earth which makes me alien and came here from space, "and Bethesda's games used to be amazing. I get bored. I want good games again."

    Tina scowled. "The stockholders and marketing won't let that happen," she almost automatically responds.

    "Good thing I eminent domained them then, huh?" I fire back, grinning wide. I lean back in my chair, spread my arms, and spin around to indicate the whole building. "Bethesda answers to me and me alone now!"

    Tina frowns, glaring at me again. "You owe me 15% of the company at the least," she declares.

    It's my turn to blink. "Wait, your dad only gave you 15%? Really?"

    Tina sighs and rolls her eyes. "You're not the first person to notice."

    Her assistant, James I think, raises his hand and waves silently.

    "Anyways, what do I have to do to get that back?" she presses me, narrowing her eyes.

    A moment's thought is all it takes. "Nothing except don't get in my way," I offer.

    "In your way for what?" she asks, honestly curious. "You don't have any plans for Bethesda, you said it yourself. How could I get in the way of that which doesn't exist?"

    "Fair point," I agree. "I'm going to be focused on Argus anyways. But if a citation comes up where you could be in the way of something I wish done, my condition for this is that you step out of said way."

    Tina grimaced. "Those are awfully broad terms."

    I shrug, entirely unrepentant for the pun I'm about to make. "Hey, I'm a broad guy."

    Tina closes her eyes and groans in mock pain. "Fine. I agree to your terms."

    "Very well, enjoy your 49%," I inform her, grinning wide.

    Her eyes bug out and she slumps in her large chair. "W-what?" she manages to squeak.

    James, the assistant, has his eyebrows attempting to hit orbit.

    "Hey, that's what you should've had," I declare, internally sending off the incredibly complicated series of network commands and form materializations (because did you really believe I actually fill in my paperwork? Please). "Anyways, as I said I will be working with Argus. Also, I want good video games. So, here's the project I'm setting Bethesda on right now." I stand up and point to double oak doors, on the other side of which it seems the entirety of the other staff are listening in via a very clever jerry rigging of an array of stethoscopes and a few computers, "I want you to make a new MMO."

    Tina shakes herself out of her shock just enough to reply. "You saw how well that went for us last time," she laments.

    I nod, agreeing. "Right," I state. "Which is why this is a bit larger of a project than you're used to, and you'll have my support and resources behind it." I stand up to my full height, put my hands on my hips, and positively beam. "Bethesda Online. Every universe. Fallout, Elder Scrolls, SAO. All in the same engine, a worldwide MMO, and FullDive compatible."

    Tina gulps. "That's… That's ambitious."

    I vehemently nod. "Damn right it is."

    "Too ambitious!" she continues. She bolts up from her chair and starts pacing, tossing her hands about above her head. "The funding, the engine itself, the developers, the systems needed to run such a thing, not to mention we don't even own the IPs-"

    Wait, what? "Hold on, what do you mean you don't own them?" I ask, genuinely confused. "This is Bethesda, isn't it?"

    She halts her rambling to turn and glance askance at me. "Yes, Bethesda Game Studios," she confirms.

    As if that's supposed to explain the IP thing. "Right. Bethesda. IP owners of the things Bethesda owns. As you do."

    James snickers under his breath, doing his damndest not to chuckle, or worse.

    Tina directs a look at me that reminds me a lot of the look Kate gives me when she thinks I'm fucking with her. "Bethesda Game Studios, this company, my company, doesn't own our own IPs," she explains. Slowly, no doubt thinking I'm retarded.

    I'm not. I just didn't know this. I raise my eyebrows and cross my arms. "Who does then?"

    "Bethesda Softworks, the original Bethesda, which is owned by... I guess our now previous corporate overlords, ZeniMax."

    I groan and put my head in my hands. "Alright, which country do I have to go annoy the leader of? Germany? Switzerland? It better not be Russia, I'm not interested in dealing with them right now."

    Tina looks entirely taken aback by my complaining. "Uhm… none of those," she warily answers. "Softworks and ZeniMax are both in Maryland. They're down the street."

    She helpfully points down the street visible out the massive conference room windows to show me that yes indeed the Softworks/ZeniMax building is right where I can see it.

    "Huh. Aight, I'll be right back-" I start to walk towards the doors, but then I pause. Something occurs to me.

    ...Kate isn't that clever, is she?

    'All their American businesses' is what she said. Did she do more than I thought she did? Is this why that dumbass redcoat was trying to stop me?

    "Planetcaller?" Tina asks hesitantly.

    "We may not have a problem at all," I say. I fabricate a copy of Executive Order 66 and look at it so that I can actually check. Thankfully I took a full molecular scan of the thing before I handed it off to Todd Howard…

    Oh boy, that’s a lot of bullshit and fancy words I don’t want to even attempt to understand.

    Planetcaller: read this part! sticks out to me among all the bureaucratic jargon.

    I raise my eyebrows, but do as Kate has written anyways.

    By order of myself and with the powers vested in me as President of the United States of America, I hereby seize by eminent domain complete control of the aftermentioned corporate entities, and all subsidiaries:

    Really, Kate? This is supposed to be easy for me to read?

    Whatever.

    I let my eyes drift down the document and halt at the three listed companies, not just one.

    1. Bethesda Softworks
    2. Bethesda Game Studios
    3. ZeniMax Media

    "I own them all," I barely breathe out, eyes lighting up.

    Tina, now much closer to me, peers at the order. "Holy shit," she swears.

    My grin is legendary. "Tina, this project just got a whole lot bigger. We're using all the IPs. All the universes. I want teams of Dragonborn, Demon Slayers, Swordsmen, Wanderers, Elves and Blades fighting Alduin, Nazis and Satan!"

    Tina looks at me like I'm nuts. "All in FullDive? As an MMO? No servers in the world can take all of that! Plus, the NerveGear isn’t really equipped for that much simulation..."

    I shake my head and scoff. Tina, Tina, Tina," I admonish her. "I'm an alien superintelligence running on a platform made up of millions of nanites and I have access to effectively Ex Nihilo matter and energy generation. My servers have a theoretical processing and storage capacity rating of Fuck Your Unit System It Can't Quantify Me. I will give the combined teams of all these companies anything you ask for, unlimited resources, no deadline, and effectively total freedom. Even if I have to host this new game in the center of the moon."

    A muted thump brings me back to reality, and I turn to look at where Tina is.

    Or rather, where she was.

    As James rushes over, I realize she's fainted. "Oh…" I say, instantly reclaiming the copy of Executive Order 66. I bend down with James to pick her up, hoisting most of her effectively non-existent weight on my arm.

    A simple scan of her body and a few references against medical databases I probably am not supposed to be able to read like open books confirms what I guessed using my own medical knowledge.

    "She just fainted," I inform James.

    He lets out a relieved breath. "Good. That's… she hit her head really hard, it sounded like."

    I agree with him and lead us over to Tina's no doubt comfy executive chair, laying her down in it gently. "She'll be fine."

    "Thanks, uh… sir," James replies, a questioning note to his tone.

    I wave him off and shake my head. "Planetcaller's fine. It's a cool name, and I despise the respect thing."

    Speaking of…

    A single thought is all it takes to activate my thrusters a miniscule amount so I'm not actually walking on the floor, and thus making no noise. I hover around the conference table until I'm in front of the double doors, then put a hand on each golden gilded ornate handle.

    I twist and yank the doors open inward in the same motion, breaking out into my biggest smile yet at the essential pile of people suddenly looking like deer in my headlights.

    I throw up my hands much like Tina had and give them the good news. "Project Multiverse is a go!" I exclaim, making sure my voice booms through the building by emanating it from my nanite storm.

    The roar of applause and cheer matches the announcement in volume, easily.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2020
  17. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Versed in the lewd.

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    The entire economy and culture of humanity is going to revolve around that MMO.
     
  18. MadGreenSon

    MadGreenSon Verified Devil Tiger

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    Better than revolving around "Fuck you, I got mine" like it does now.
     
  19. TCGM

    TCGM (Unverified God/Space Snek)

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    You mean there'll be an entire planet of well trained people willing and able to defeat enemies of someone who, perhaps, gave them the wonder that they built their culture around? A race of munchkins that will follow that someone into the depths of the omniverse? Hmmm...

    Burn the planet down, no Boomer bats an eye. But when a post scarcity alien gray goo guy shows up and buzzes NASA, all Boomers lose their minds.
     
  20. Flutters Is Shy

    Flutters Is Shy Friend of the Rage

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    ... So, what franchises do they all own?
     
  21. TCGM

    TCGM (Unverified God/Space Snek)

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    [​IMG]

    Oh, and Argus, Kayaba's company, ofc.
     
  22. Somdudewillson

    Somdudewillson Getting sticky.

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    Fallout 76 currently has a "Mostly Positive" rating on Steam.
    It was quite good even at launch, tbh.

    I can understand having a character being a a self-important asshole and firing someone because they made something they personally thought was terrible, but magically making all/most of the Bethesda employees agree is just Gary Stu-level writing.
     
  23. SystemSearcher

    SystemSearcher "I fought the door and the door won"

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    I honestly filtered it out as part of this being the SAO Abridged 'verse.
     
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  24. Ilikebob

    Ilikebob Wish Granter Extraordinaire

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    I almost forget to post this here
     
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  25. TCGM

    TCGM (Unverified God/Space Snek)

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    Lol

    There's no magically anything about it. Two things go into how the nameless NPCs that are the rest of the Bethesda company just took Planetcaller's decisions at face value and celebrated. The first reason is the same, but the latter reason is actually different for each of the two situations.

    The first reason is because, despite Planetcaller having a bit of a sidequest, this is still SAO:A. An Abridged anime world. It runs on those rules, and one of the important tropes in anime which carries over to Abridged anime is that nameless minions and underlings have absolutely no problem with anything the protagonist or their higher up does, and often celebrate it, because they're just filler... until they suddenly aren't, and are named in the process. This has been guessed by SystemSearcher.

    The first instance, with firing Todd, is celebrated not just because of this reason alone, though. It has to do with the fact that Todd Howard in this universe is effectively a Disney Villain.

    Exactly like this^, thanks for that btw bob

    The second instance, the announcement of Project Multiverse is much, much more legitimate cheering. If the firing of Todd relies primarily on the trope and secondarily on the villain status, then this is the inverse. They just heard, and likely discussed among themselves, that they have a fun project with no deadlines, bankrolled by someone with what seems to be no currency limit, and who has demonstrated he isn't quite like their previous overlords. This is known as 'Holy shit, my job's secured for the next fifty years, and I don't have to work myself to the bone to do it', distilled into one announcement.

    No shit there is cheering. Look up how game devs are treated if you don't believe me.
     
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  26. adaw

    adaw Know what you're doing yet?

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    No, I think he means that you just started the creation of the Oasis from Ready Player One, except rather than an eccentric getting shafted by Not!Commcast you'll probably just open source it once you are done with the project.
     
  27. Somdudewillson

    Somdudewillson Getting sticky.

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    But there is a named character behaving in much the same way.

    The literal only thing they heard before cheering was Todd being fired and "Let's make Bethesda great again." Nothing about a new project.

    I am a game dev. If a new boss introduced themselves to me by spontaneously firing my old boss for a single decision he was involved in that he personally disliked, I would be, at minimum, keeping my head down while trying to find the quickest way out of the company without drawing attention.
     
  28. TCGM

    TCGM (Unverified God/Space Snek)

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    A better Oasis. With blackjack. And hookers.

    ...What? I don't understand what you mean here. How is this a response?

    ...Did you miss the part about them listening through the door to the entire conversation Planetcaller had with Tina?

    Also, again, this Todd Howard is a Disney Villain. He is not the real world Todd Howard. He is a meme.

    I am also a game dev. If my new boss fired my previous boss, a real life Disney Villain, after previously buying part of a country, redirecting hurricanes, buzzing ATC towers, and trolling the entire planet via the Internet, happens to be a post-scarcity Clarketech gray goo AI who's nice, if a troll, then basically said my job security was entirely intact for decades while also removing all time constraints and the very concept of crunch, it wouldn't matter if the job was fun or not, the amount of 'I am so fucking there' isn't expressible in words.

    Planetcaller's actions do not exist in a vacuum. Please do not commit the cardinal debate sin of discussing actions without context.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2020
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  29. Somdudewillson

    Somdudewillson Getting sticky.

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    ...The Oasis had blackjack and hookers.

    You said that they behaved like that because they were nameless underlings, so I pointed out that there is a named character who was behaving the same.

    That scene happened after they cheered!

    I would think that the chronological order in which things happened would count as context, but you seem to be ignoring that, so...
     
  30. vladspellbinder

    vladspellbinder Odd and obscure vampiric panther

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    They cheer twice, so you need to make sure both you and TCGM are talking about the same time they cheer.
    They cheer once before the conversation with Tina and once after. The first time being because it was announced their previous boss, who even the Real Life version of is, shall we diplomatically say, not that great of a boss and Word of Writer says the in story version is even worse, being Actually Evil(TM). I know I would cheer if the RL version of Todd Howard was fired and replaced with someone even a fraction of a bit better.
    The second time they cheer has been covered already.
     
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