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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Doccer

    Doccer Know what you're doing yet?

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    Number 2983
    Number 4413

    Whoohoo! 100000000! Wait a minute is it a good thing I came back so many times or bad thing that I died so many times?
    Heh.
     
  2. fappingtoyourpost

    fappingtoyourpost Making the rounds.

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    Human political memes would be seriously poisonous to any functioning alien government, wouldn't they?
     
  3. Mastigos2

    Mastigos2 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Did anything ever come of Jovium?
     
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  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Nothing that's had a wide social impact, but the US government is using it in a Federally funded infrastructure program to help the economy post-Sheeda.
     
  5. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Not very smart when you think about it given the Orange Light's many many many weaknesses.
     
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  6. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey Not too sore, are you?

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    Possible continuity error: In part 13 of Gammadion, Superboy refers to his armor being orichalcum rather than Nth metal.

    With a soul of orange light, OL could do the Nabu thing and use the ring itself as a "body" as it has more than enough processing power to emulate a human brain. There's also no reason he couldn't give himself a kryptonian body as their powers are "science" based rather than magic or alchemical.
     
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  7. Threadmarks: Negetiations (supplementary, Renegade Option)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    9th August 2012
    10:12 GMT


    I look around the Tamaranean countryside, taking in the recently planted fields and the genomorphs working them.

    "Things going well?"

    Telosmere nods. He's slightly more heavily built than the other g-goblins I've met, though I don't know whether that's to do with the heavy manual labour involved in running a commercial farm or something he was engineered with. While the genomorphs have access to more advanced farming equipment they have an obvious preference for manual labour. G-trolls pull the ploughs and harvesters, and act as ladders to allow the more agile g-elves to pick fruit from their backs.

    "We are already more than self-sufficient. These farms serve as the main supply hub for the Genomorph Entire. In accordance with our agreement with the tamaraneans we have supplied g-gnomes to their schools. We will open our first mines shortly, though we will have to trade for more advanced equipment for the foreseeable future."

    I nod. "Any problems?"

    "A small outbreak of blight. It was easy to deal with. Other than that, the only problem I have is with tamaraneans who wish to mate with me when I visit the capital."

    I frown. "They aren't usually pushy once you give them a flat 'no'."

    "I decided not to do that. Sexual intimacy is a significant part of tamaranean culture, and we are trying to maintain a friendly social relationship."

    I frown deeper.

    "But you don't have genitals or.. erogenous zones. Or a sex drive."

    "No, but I have telepathy. I am not quite as skilled at telepathic illusion as the g-gnomes, but at close range it can be quite convincing. Matching the display to the desires of my paramour is an interesting intellectual challenge, and if I am successful engenders a positive association which is helpful to our ongoing habitation of their planet."

    "Well… Ah… As long as you're happy."

    "I am as happy as I am capable of being. I have productive work that challenges me while also having observable achievement milestones. I want for little that my cluster cannot provide."

    Hm. As far as I've been able to tell, g-goblins are perfectly happy to go almost indefinitely without anyone to talk to. But it… Seems…

    "You're alright with no other individual sophonts to talk to? Really?"

    He looks out across the field.

    "Individuality is a burden I bear because someone must. I have no great love for my own thoughts. I prefer to spend my time dissolved in the cluster, using my greater creative capacity to assist others."

    "Ah. Um, sorry about forcing you out of it."

    "This is my burden to bear. Do you require anything else?"

    "Do you?"

    He thinks for a moment. "Reclamation has gone well. We have room to expand further. Dubbilex or Ecksey could create another cluster and send it here."

    I nod. "I'll pass that on. Have a nice day. Mother Box?"

    "Ping."

    BOOM!

    I step through the boom tube aperture and stroll out onto the command deck of the tamaranean self-defence fleet's main command station. A few members of the command staff look around, but there are enough boom tubes around here that I get more attention than the manner of my ingress does.

    Most of the crew are tamaranean, though a few Euphorians are still around the place. While this is in theory a temporary assignment… Well. I'm pretty sure that Regent Dulak used this opportunity to get rid of the noisiest dissenters, because while a few have made noise about going back 'in a few years', I haven't really noticed any great rush. And I have noticed a smattering of interspecies marriages, and if we assume that tamaraneans are being as formal about their interpersonal relations as they usually are, a far greater number of actual relationships.

    These aren't people in any great hurry to get back under the Regent's aegis.

    I amble over to the officer of the watch, who draws herself up slightly but doesn't leave her station. Good. The.. cybernetic eyes and left arm and the greying hair mark her out as a survivor of the tamaraneans' previous fleet. Our… Experience is that those don't make good fleet officers. They tend to struggle with active combat, which given the conditions they endured isn't all that hard to understand. On the other hand, their greater experience makes them good rear echelon officers, though we'll probably replace them all once we've got people who can replace them.

    "Prince Grayven."

    "Commander Delor. Anything to report?"

    "The system is secure. Princess Komand'r's strike fleet is near Raggashoon, while the home fleet is exercising. Ship production remains on schedule."

    Raggashoon will be an interesting test case for how dominant Tamaran can be. With the pirates exterminated, the Spider Guild slaughtered, the Citadel Complex crushed to slag, the Branx undergoing planetary isolation and societal meltdown and Wombworld burned, there aren't any 'evil' factions left in the area. But that doesn't mean that there aren't any empire-builders trying to fill the vacuum. The Karnans have aligned to the Crown Imperium, but they're in no condition to extend their reach without aid that the Imperium isn't all that eager to give them.

    And so Tamaran has started colonising its neighbours.

    It makes sense, really. With all the gordanians did, large areas of Tamaran are actually less hospitable than its most primitive neighbours. Having not sustained a civilisation's rise into space, they have untapped mineral resources which in many places are readily accessible. And in the long term, more room means more tamaraneans. A core population of their new empire that share a species and a culture.

    With the more developed places, it's a little trickier. Certainly, they're used to being under someone's thumb. But there's still the question of how to integrate them. They don't have a significant tamaranean population, and their social structures are too different to integrate them into the semi-feudal structure that the tamaraneans use. I suggested a free port model, offering protection under better terms than the Citadel offered in exchange for nominal fealty, most importantly not building up their fleet or claiming other worlds. Komand'r -bless her avaricious little heart- wants something a little more domineering, but I suppose allowing herself to be argued down to my idea wouldn't be a terrible thing.

    The work of this generation will be settlement and military expansion. Building up core territory and the strength to protect it. Then with the friendly Crown Imperium ensuring the safety of one border we will be free to begin a program of annexation and conquest in all other directions.

    "Good show. Has a crew for the-?"

    "Grayven."

    I turn to face the diminutive Controller, managing a polite smile even as I see her psion acolytes following behind her. I mean, it's nice to see a Maltusian actually take some responsibility for that whole mess but I'd really rather not be in a position where there were any psions on Tamaran.

    "Hinon. Something I can do for you?"

    "On the contrary; I believe I can do something for you."

    I raise my eyebrows. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm in a relationship at the moment. Not that you're.. unattractive or anything, but I'm inclined to monogamy and you're so short that you rather-."

    "Don't be tiresome, Grayven."

    "Okay. What is it?"

    "Your… Doppelgänger." She holds out her right hand and creates a construct image of him. "It seems that he was planning on making war on the Reach."

    "A fair target."

    "Was planning. He's stopped advancing, and as far as we can tell he's recalling his forces. With boom tube technology he can travel the distance instantly but he needs time to dismantle his infrastructure."

    Ah.

    "And coming here."

    "I don't know his mind, but that seems most likely."

    I sigh. "Thank you for the warning. I will… Begin making preparations."
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2021
  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    He's got more than one suit of armour.
     
  9. doug89

    doug89 Versed in the lewd.

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    I'm not 100% sure, but I think these should all be capitalised. I can see where the inclination to leave them lower case comes from, the word human is lower case after all. But I think because both species names come from a proper noun (Tamareans from Tamaran, Gordonians from Gordane), they would.

    Like Australia and Australians.
     
  10. yingyang590

    yingyang590 Getting some practice in, huh?

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    He's already killed one Graven with far less resources than he has now. What's one more.
     
  11. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    Grayvenbowl in the near future.
     
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  12. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    Zoat tends to do this for a lot of alien species.

    I think the only species he consistently writes with a capital letter is humans.

    True, but that Grayven wasn't all that prepared for fighting him.

    This one may be better prepared.

    I also don't remember if he still has the Sword, but if he doesn't then things may be more difficult.
     
  13. Pez

    Pez I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    built
     
  14. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    The next episode is likely Renegade. I’ll be looking forward to it!
     
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  15. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    I thought that Hinon was tall like most of the other Controllers?

    Unless renegade Hinon chose to look differently?
     
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  16. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Tamarans conquering other worlds? Under Komand'rs leadership? Yeah, can't see that going wrong at all.

    And Grayven vs Grayven! Round one: standing with your hands behind your back! Go!
     
  17. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Komand'r is a tamaranean Tamaranean from Tamaran.
    Telsomere is a g-goblin Tamaranean from Earth.

    When 'tamaranean' is used as a species name rather than a planet-nationality, it shouldn't be capitalised.
    He doesn't have Anti-Life any longer.
    Thank you, corrected.
    I don't... Think so? I'm going to need a quote on that.
     
  18. Old Knife

    Old Knife Know what you're doing yet?

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    What if this grayven shares info/IS actually Paragon's grayven?
    And he can tell first glance that renegade is a transformed paul.
     
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  19. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    I can't remember if it was ever mentioned that she was tall, but I just thought that she was like most of the other Controllers.

    So both paragon and renegade Hinon look like the Guardians?
     
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  20. Senevri

    Senevri Know what you're doing yet?

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    Oh no. Imperialism.

    Also, maybe Hinon is human-tall, not Grayven-tall?
     
  21. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    He has Harmony, other Grayven is going to have any hard time to make his eye rays to anything. Granted he had an army and probably more experience fighting but if he is anything like the comics he never fought someone close in power to him.
     
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  22. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    All Controllers should be tall, as the Guardian split occurred before they turned into small blue dwarves.

    [​IMG]
     
  23. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    I don't think Harmony can help him, because he doesn't have it in him.

    I guess that if he asks the ponies then they can help, but I don't think he has it himself.

    In the comics Grayven was just some New God that was sired by Darkseid on some random planet and was left to fend for himself.

    This story's version of Grayven actually grew up on Apokalips, so he probably has fought against others that can match or even surpass his power.
     
  24. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    Zoat used this image when Paragon first saw a Controller.

    [​IMG]

    Paragon didn't note that Hinon looked any shorter, and I've definitely been assuming that she was the size of a standard humanoid.
     
  25. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Another break from the OL show, I see. Good chance to skip over the days of barely-above-light-speed travel in the gyuanites' system. So, Grayven's looking in on one of his investments, eh? Hopefully all's been settling in well...

    Another G-Goblin? And I see where his name comes from: Telomeres. Another fitting name. And why waste precious fuel when raw genomorph muscle does the job just as well?

    Presumably equipment more suited to underground mining than the farming gear they have now. After all, they don't have G-moles or something like that for the work, do they.

    Also, maybe tell them you don't have suitable sexual equipment? Not that that would stop particularly interested ladies... Or gentlemen. Then again, he has fingers and a tongue...

    I know, right? He must be a cunning linguist, then, or have magic fingers. :p

    ...Okay, that's one way to leave the ladies (or lads) satisfied. And no risk of biological transfer...

    Environment seems to play a big part in their development. Dubbilex is a scientist through and through. Ixy is a diplomat (likely from having to smooth feathers ruffled by Grayven...) This guy? Stoic leader.

    Well, that's one way to carry on with your solitude.

    Very interesting fellow.

    Bonus: It would give him someone to talk to, if he felt the need.

    Pleasant little stop on the road. Now to something more lively, eh?

    So the sharp crack of the tube materialising has become so mundane, it's like the sound of traffic. Could be an issue if they have to deal with other New God forces.

    And why would they? Far more personal freedoms out here. :p The smoking hot orange guys and girls are a nice bonus.

    Hopefully offering them the choice of a quite retirement somewhere pleasant on Tamaran, or a teaching position. I'm sure some would enjoy the chance to help shape their successors.

    Ah, cleaning up sidequests, now that you have some free time, eh? At least, the ones that aren't time-sensitive (like the Pirate Conference quest OL did.)

    I see the Tamaraneans haven't been wasting time. Must be quite a heady rush, to go from conquered to conquerors. Let's hope they don't make the mistakes their predecessors did.

    And what of any native populations? Integration into Tamaranean culture, presumably, but how subservient are they being positioned as?

    And I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun convincing her. Though I find myself wondering what Koriand'r's up to.

    More Acquisition for the Godhead. Still have to question how well they'll take to ruling, though...

    Huh, I guess that's one way the dust could have settled. These would be some of Grayven's 'How about we not raise them to be amoral science-nerds?' experiment, then.

    Oh, that's never a good sign.

    "After all, I put that sort of thing behind me long before my... Little nap."

    Since Maltus here is not. That would give the local Grayven free reign. Presumably something's nobbled his plans, though.

    Huh. That does not sound good. Wonder what he ran into that could have caused him to change his mind?

    :rolleyes: Well, shit. Looks like there's no escaping the Galactic War thing in any timeline...

    Looks like he might have to speed up Tamaran's rebuilding, and the plans to secure Vega. Because I doubt he's got the option of cutting off the head of the beast this time, like he did on Earth-50

    I guess we can expect a battle of the Grayvens sometime soon, then. Off-shoot Gordanian fleet versus a rebuilt Tamaran. Bet there'll be some fierce fighting there. Not that I expect it to happen soon. Wonder how the Renegade will handle Grayven-16's oversized penis substitute Planet-Killer Dreadnought...
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2021
  26. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    Poor girl.

    The amount of feathers she must smooth is endless.

    But she did find it pleasant.

    Actually they are.

    It's just that renegade isn't fighting them.

    I'm thinking that maybe he doesnt like the fact that there's someone using his name, so wants to have words with renegade.

    Zoat once mentioned renegade and his daughter going to the Babylon 5 universe and using Grayven's New God ship.
     
  27. DrThoth

    DrThoth Not too sore, are you?

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    It does lessen the narrative impact of this Renegade vs. Grayven showdown for me somewhat, even though as others have mentioned there are likely to be differences; Renegade can't use Anti-Life as an attack, surprise or otherwise, anymore, for one thing. I hope he'll reach out to Scott and Barda for assistance. It would be cool to see Karsta in action too. If the Shade's powers work in space, which that lady from Talok should prove that it does, he would be a very useful ally too. Renegade should have an appreciation for the true power of friendship after his MLP experiences, after all, so getting all his allies together for what could very well serve as a test run for fighting Apokaliptian forces (even if Grayven is the only actual New God there).

    Too bad he disintegrated Melmoth (I think that's what happened but I don't remember exactly), he could have gotten access to Aurakle, which would probably have been useful for his plans.

    I wonder how much horrific physical injury he'll take in this showdown; we all know it's inevitable at this point.
     
  28. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    Assuming he didn't find out about her and just put her out of her misery.

    Or Melmoth may have just broken her down for parts.
     
  29. Z3r0Sama

    Z3r0Sama Getting sticky.

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    Unfortunately for fake Grayven, our boi already has significant Gravy vs Gravy combat experience.
     
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  30. Sorrow

    Sorrow Getting sticky.

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    Honestly, I prefer the Renegade Chapters. They are far off the rails to the more... common points.
     
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