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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Eh, remove the demonic parts and tell him the conditions you grabbed them in. They gotta be like 80 percent non magic yeh?
     
  2. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    I think someone who wrote Fate was a Buffy fan, because one of Fate's enemies was a demon created when an occult collector uploaded his collection of curses, rituals, and spells into his computer.

    So a killer demon that was probably a PDF or Word document.
     
  3. Michael Vonica

    Michael Vonica Know what you're doing yet?

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    Must we be careful when putting our drinks on their coasters, lest their condensation form a pentagram, and turn the coaster into some form of demonic coaster?
     
  4. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    It's all Biigoh's fault. When in doubt, blame tanuki.
    Also, see is a Moderator and can point you in the direction of which of the three administrators is responsible for not updating the bad coding that breaks links if a post changes pages.
     
    Xmaster3000 likes this.
  5. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

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    IIRC, we're using XenForo, aren't we? It'd probably be more productive to go complain over at the XenForo forums.
     
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  6. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    I think SB, SV, and SV all use XenForo.
    But only here has the problem.
    Seems to be a end user issue, not a XenForo exclusive problem.
     
    Xmaster3000 likes this.
  7. Threadmarks: Krummkreuz (part 21)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    16th September 2012
    21:07 GMT -5


    Demon Superman turns his head towards-.

    Shield.

    THIS ONE IS OURS!

    The buildings on either side of me sag as the heat of Demon Superman's gaze melts the metal of their superstructure and causes glass to spray in all directions, propelled by the vaporisation of the material closer to the heat course. Concrete explodes, anything or anyone still inside the buildings catches fire and my shield is already cracking!

    Through the wavering shield construct I see Angelika hit him hard in the back of the neck, buying me a fraction of a second as the red-hot pit around us gets a moment to cool off. My shield expands, and I add cold guns that I know he can just avoid but which might stop-.

    Another blast of overwhelming heat, cold gun constructs really not cutting it. I think he's actually making an effort now. Position clearly untenable, Overman… Still down. I take a purple healing ray out of subspace and use the otherwise ineffectual cold gun constructs to prevent it melting, then turn it on Overman.

    "Overman?"

    "Ah-. Overman Awake."

    He pulls himself upright, hands sticking to the semi-molten detritus around us as he gets his bearings. A slight wince as he ducks his head into the purple ray, then a circle of displaced semi-molten detritus as he launches back into the-

    Transition.

    -fight.

    "Overman recovered, resuming overwatch."

    "Understood."

    Diana's probably itching to get stuck in, but until he's been weakened there isn't any point. He's far stronger than her like this, and the demon magic means that he lacks magic as a point of vulnerability. I know that she won't break discipline, but the Nazis… Quick check…

    Baron Gestapo is advancing. Er… Ah, no, there's a reason. More cultists are pouring in to the area of the fight. I can see where collisions and near-misses have already taken a toll on them. He actually needs to stun more of them to keep them alive. White Dragon is being babysat by The Bat, and they're acting as mobile blockers. Right now they're fighting… Ah… Scorch, I think? And Sandy Hawkins, who is currently a barely-mobile lump of fused glass. Scorch is trying to teleport to keep up with the owlwing but it just isn't happening. They seem-.

    "Orange Lantern to The Bat. Carapax approaching from the north."

    "Should I be-" The owlwing twists in the air, using its gravity drive to air brake and throwing off Scorch's expectations of where it would be when she reappeared. One air taser shot later and she's falling to the ground. "-worried?"

    "He's an upload with a robot body. I don't know what technology he's using, but Mister Terrific is a technological genius."

    "Does he have a soul?"

    "I haven't checked. His computer core is in the chest, so you should be able to blow off the extremities without any problem."

    "How refreshing. Ah, I see him. The Bat out."

    Shadow of War is getting into position, drifting through the partially-collapsed Metropolis storm drains. She is ethereal, so damage from the results of having four Kryptonians smashing the place apart isn't a huge problem, but Demon Superman's possession means that he could probably hurt her if he paid her any serious attention.

    Not her time yet.

    Miles away from the main fight, Reichsmark takes a moment away from knocking the Underworlders around to watch the mushroom cloud of debris thrown up by Demon Superman being kicked into the ground. Count Berlin uses the distraction to transform back from mist into his vampire form behind Kathana and bite down on his neck in an unhelpfully stereotypical way.

    Doesn't look like being under the control of a demon who doesn't care whether you live or die is much healthier for the superpeople than it is for the proles. A normal tyrant would keep an elite bodyguard on hand, but whatever's controlling the local Superman doesn't appear to have bothered. As far as I can tell, the people responding are just the people who happened to be in the area.

    Which means that it was definitely worth going after Wolf first, if nothing else.

    "Raaaaagh!"

    Demon Superman flies upward, but our kryptonians dodge him easily enough. His initial charge having missed, Demon Superman actually stops and looks around at a speed low enough that I can see it unaided. Looks like our team were focusing their own heat vision on his eyes, because I can see the damage they've done.

    "Diana to Baroness Blitzkrieg. Superman reports that they're nearly ready."

    "Crusader doesn't know if the streets will still work if they're molten."

    Fair point.

    "Five-"

    I form a new cold gun construct.

    "-seconds."

    Cold beams lance downwards as our kryptonians take turns in flying at Demon Superman's head at maximum speed. Superman could deal with that by listening carefully, something Luminus learned the hard way. I don't know if the Demon hasn't bothered with his other abilities or if it's just concussed, but that idea doesn't seem to be occurring.

    "Overman to Shadow of War. Now."

    Demon Superman opens his mouth and the Metropolitan air freezes, water droplets turning to ice and coating everything. That shouldn't threaten the lives of our side, but it's an area effect attack that will slow them down a little which is probably what he was going for. But he's not watching the ground beneath him, allowing Shadow of War to rise upward. We're not entirely sure what her empathic abilities will do to a demon, but we're hoping that she can either reach Kal-El in there or give the demon visions that it doesn't like.

    Demons only like war when other people bleed.

    Apparently realising that arctic breath isn't going to do anything, Demon Superman inhales-.

    And Shadow of War latches onto his head.

    "Diana!"

    "-off! Me!"

    Diana and Artemis fly in at speed, Lasso of Truth suspended between them. Atom Man's approach is slower, taking his time to overcharge his kryptonite lasers and target Demon Superman's exposed skin. I've… Yes, finished solidifying the roads we need. I turn my cold gun into a teleportation gun, load mage slayers and fire.

    There's a momentary delay and then something shimmers over Demon Superman's skin.

    "Atom M-."

    Atom Man fires into Demon Superman's face-

    "Not blind."

    -as the Wonder Women wind the Lasso around his legs and pull them out from underneath him!
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2022
  8. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    The 'Demon' and bracket should be removed, while being should say 'behind' and in should be 'on'.

    That should say 'was'.

    That should say 'reports'.

    That should say 'by'.

    The fight seems to be going well enough. I wonder how Earth 666 is supposed to recover after this.
     
  9. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Yay!...go Team...Nazi...

    This feels so wrong.
     
  10. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    behind

    by

    Edit: Darn Ninjas...
     
  11. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    He's -> He
    my -> by
    misses -> missed
    don't need the "in"
     
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  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    I think that's correct.
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    I think that's correct.
     
  14. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    Go Team Exorcism, now with more Nazi Skeet?
     
  15. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Definitely not going to be pleasant. I can't imagine the amount of thermal energy being discharged when he's that large. I suspect that even if they beat him, Earth is going to be in for a hot time for a few years as the heat bleeds off.

    Oof. Like a directed nuclear thermal flash. Really nasty.

    I'll bet his cape is getting a little singed by this. Assuming it's still in one piece after his little unplanned tour of Metropolis.

    If a little woozy. Because even Kryptonians can get punch-drunk if you hit them hard enough.

    ...I see the Purple Healing Ray works quick on concussions. Not surprising, as they're basically brain-bruises...

    Things a little too hot in close, OL? I suppose it makes a nice break from the last few battles he's been in...

    Yeah, some of them seem a little... Lacking.

    Heh. Wrong fight for Sandy to be in, all that heat flying about... Although I see some of the stranger creations of the post-crisis era are getting dragged out.

    I assume there's enough humanity in there to be corruptible. Not the first technological demon we've seen, after all.

    Heh, bit of a 'finally, something I can shoot!' feeling there from Herr Fledermaus...

    They need him pinned down first, I'm guessing. Not easy when he's at least ten feet tall.

    Good thing none of the A-listers were in town. Just a few C-listers (and below) to play fodder. As for a bodyguard, who needs one when you're Kryptonian, with none of their weaknesses? :p

    To be fair, their main priority was stopping the invasion. Taking down Wolf managed that. But until Demon Superman is taken down, he can just find more magicians...

    Well, they're pretty big targets at that size. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean he's blind. Super-hearing is still a thing, after all.

    Interesting. Planning to use local streets as some manner of runic circle?

    Ah, still not able to break the laws of physics yet. No matter how much cold he puts on them, the asphalt can only cool down so fast... But being adjacent to near-absolute zero ice should make it faster.

    After all, I suspect Kryptonian hearts sound like pile-drivers to his senses...

    Oh, right. Freeze breath. Should be interesting: snow in September.

    Going to try tornado-force breath next, then. Would probably be a bit more effective.

    Well, time to see if their plan works. Whatever it is, since we haven't seen it laid out.

    After all, you can put him back together afterwards...

    Protective magic, I'm guessing.

    Let's hope he's distracted enough to forget he can fly.

    And, hopefully, the giant falls. Let's hope they can keep him pinned down while the mages get to work on whatever's in his head. I'm guessing they're going to use a combination of the Lasso and Shadow of War's powers to drive out Rakkar, while Crusader tries to purify Earth. Let's hope they've got the metaphysical muscle to wrestle that demon down.


    Extraneous comma.
    His initial charge having missed...
    Diana and Artemis fly in at speed...
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2022
  16. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Should say "live".
     
  17. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    I really hope this is when things go pear shaped.

    Because otherwise this will be just another standard curbstomp.
     
  18. w34v3r

    w34v3r Versed in the lewd.

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    Maybe it doesn't carry over as well in text for other people as it does for me, but this was a fairly epic fight scene, just because the plan works doesn't mean the fight's bad.
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Remove one ,

    'you live or die'

    Maybe 'upwards'

    'head at'

    'in at speed'
     
  20. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  21. FreeGod

    FreeGod If you see a God on the road fuck it!

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    "If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of Commons." ― Winston S. Churchill

    Of course in this case it is the other way round.
     
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  22. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Let's be honest, we're routing for paul and overman.
     
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  23. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    I know the scream and the line "off me" is Demon Superman but is the orange line Paul/Odphian?
     
  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yes.
     
  25. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Not too sore, are you?

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    Most of them seem pretty fun. Except for White Dragon. That guy seems to be enough of an asshole that even the Nazis are like, "This fucking guy."

    If nothing else, the moments with Atom Man were pretty funny.

    And this is them being better adjusted socially because in their world they get to be superheroes that do superhero things.
     
  26. Pez

    Pez Spaceman

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    Wouldn't the Lasso be able to free Superman of his possession? As long as his soul is still in his body, it should be able to expel the demon.
     
  27. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    That Reichsmark guy also seemed like an asshole that they disliked.

    Assuming the Lasso is even capable of that.
     
  28. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    The powers of The Lasso vary from Universe to Universe and a lot of the time from writer to writer so sometimes it can do a specific thing other times it can't.
     
  29. Michael Vonica

    Michael Vonica Know what you're doing yet?

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    Can The Lasso extend and retract at will, allowing one to grip onto clouds and lightning and swing from them in a manner similar to Spider-Man?
     
  30. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I don't think so.
     
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