1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

Loading...
  1. 0zymandias

    0zymandias Making the rounds.

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2020
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    374
  2. Steelplaza

    Steelplaza Custom Title

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    181
    Likes Received:
    946
    I feel a bit sour about the Gate story, and finally I realized why.

    Most every universe Mr Zoat writes interludes for, it feels like there are aspects of the work he actually likes and takes joy in. Even when the SI is calling characters out or complaining about things, there's affection for the world. Which makes sense, right? If he read or watched enough of a universe to write for it, there must be things he really liked even if there aspects he doesn't like.

    But I'm not feeling the "love" here. Some affection for the basic concept maybe, but is there any actual characters or events or settings in Gate that are loved? Not the concepts, but is there anything about how Gate executed its concepts that Zoat likes? It doesn't read like there is. So without some love to back up the criticism, it just reads as kind of mean. Like for example, the Thundercats interludes were pretty mean to the main characters, but at least Yellow Fear Lord Paul seemed to like the world of Thundera and understand the characters even if he was frustrated with them.

    Now personally I liked Gate as a fun nationalistic rah-rah power fantasy. Even if it's for a nation I'm not a citizen of. It has a lot of cute characters and it can be fun to watch a modern military stomp over things. It's trash, sure, but I like me some trash once in a while. But I can't get a sense for how Zoat managed to stomach enough watching/reading Gate to even write about it.
     
  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,694
    Likes Received:
    728,876
    I was waiting for it to get good.

    I mean, the basic concept is great. It's X-Com in reverse, with Japan having to leverage superior technology against an mystical foe while keeping an eye out for their enemies at home trying something. Except... No. It's a cakewalk. People fall over themselves to work for/with the Japanese and there's nothing at all that can threaten them.

    I've seen good Gate fanfics before. There was one where the Gate opened in Washington DC just after the American Civil War. And the Princes were apostles, because obviously the Emperor would have his family enhanced by magic. The others were from the Sanderan point of view as they work out how to cope with an apparently unbeatable enemy. The Japanese side just... Isn't. Making it more plausible and adding in Americans just turns it into even more of a stomp.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2023
    Vorian, Doccer, kerleth and 17 others like this.
  4. Steelplaza

    Steelplaza Custom Title

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    181
    Likes Received:
    946
    See, I think the core concept of Gate is "Japanese soldier who is an otaku gets to go to a fantasy world and experience meeting a lot of hot fantasy girls". That is the "concept" of Gate, stapled to a secondary plot about awesome Japanese military kicking fantasy ass.

    For me a good Gate fanfic would actually star Itami and Rory and do interesting things with them as characters, not ditch everything but "fantasy world and Earth collide". Sorry for the derail.
     
    Doccer, ShadowPoint, Cuchulin and 2 others like this.
  5. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,694
    Likes Received:
    728,876
    Gate doesn't need two paedophiles.

    If the story had them cut off on the Empire side and Itami needed the girls to survive, that would actually be interesting.
    Talking about thei story I'm writing on the thread where I'm writing it isn't a derail.
     
  6. Impartial Panic

    Impartial Panic I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2014
    Messages:
    695
    Likes Received:
    10,770
    Chinese agents destroy the gate before that happens, strands the JSDF garrison there for a while.

    Later the cute mage girl uses a divine conduit and her magic to open short term gates
    as she lacks the ability to make a full gate.

    IIRC the gods also are less than amused that she is using earth scientific knowledge to improve her magic.
    I think they told her to keep it to herself because if she tries passing that stuff on they'll send all their apostles after her.

    Anime and Light novel diverge on a few things and the manga is still on going though looks like it's following colser to the light novel.

    and now Paul has dropped in and as usual Paul "ruins" everything. :p
     
  7. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,514
    Likes Received:
    20,551
    The God's are actually enjoying what Paul is doing here.

    Do you know how I know? Because otherwise they would have sent Apostles to destroy his Ring.
     
    Impartial Panic likes this.
  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,694
    Likes Received:
    728,876
    It's the middle of a city in the middle of Japan, surrounded by soldiers at all hours. How the heck did that happen?
    Man, I remember getting to the point where one of the gods used her as a host after we were assured that was fatal for mortals. I was shocked. I started paying attention, because I thought that even if they didn't kill her off the characters would have to work at keeping her alive.

    And then she was completely fine with no added work at all.
     
  9. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2020
    Messages:
    879
    Likes Received:
    4,051
    Can you link that fanfic cause it sounds amazing!
     
  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,694
    Likes Received:
    728,876
    The Union Forever, but it's not very long and pretty dead.
     
  11. Impartial Panic

    Impartial Panic I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2014
    Messages:
    695
    Likes Received:
    10,770
    Diabo was going to trade Lelei to the Chinese in exchange for 10,000 heavily armed Chinese soldiers to kick the JSDF out the way and decimate Zorzal's force as well as taking the throne from Pina.

    Instead a Chinese agent planted a bomb at the gate and depending on the version of Gate Diabo is caught in the explosion.

    as to how they pulled it off, black ops is bullshit yo.

    and for an arc Gate becomes a starship troopers crossover


    Most Pauls have a habit of trying to uplift societies, so they may have fun now but his novelty will fade.
    The gods take a dim view of possible uplifts since they don't want the mortals to start asking why do they need gods.

    Also Paul tends to piss off divine beings more often than not just be being Paul.
     
  12. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,514
    Likes Received:
    20,551
    That's not why the Gate God's do what they do.

    The Gate God's do what they do because for some not named reason God's are bound to the planet they originated from. So if the mortals advance to the point they can leave that planet the Gate God's will be left all alone.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2023
    Celtic Spartan likes this.
  13. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    4,181
    Missing closing quote.
     
  14. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2014
    Messages:
    9,737
    Likes Received:
    38,234
    Unfortunately, that seems to be the point. The author of GATE is a jingoistic jackass, but he was also a soldier who started the story to entertain his own unit while in the JGSDF, not to create a thought-provoking narrative or a well-researched fantasy novel. He knew how to write dialogue, I think, but had a poor understanding of a lot of other aspects of storytelling, on top of not thinking that the fantasy folk being able to seriously challenge him or his friends would be fun for him. It's a jingoistic power-trip that got some attention, which lead to manga and anime being made that got a bunch more attention, which kept it from fading away before most of us had even heard of it.
     
    Vorian, Daytripper, Doccer and 7 others like this.
  15. Threadmarks: Compass (part 12)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,694
    Likes Received:
    728,876
    13th February 2013
    18:52 GMT -5


    "Wait."

    Dreamer perks up, looking around with renewed interest.

    "I think… I can feel something." "Show me the dreams of compassion."

    Ring, any ideas?

    Possible matches found.

    Could just fly there, but from the look on Dreamer's face she's trying to do something difficult with her power. A delay of a few minutes is worth it if it gets her confidence-

    A phantasmal image of Lantern Ub'x appears a short distance above us and then flies… In the direction of one of the points suggested by my ring. Vykin accelerates the Forevercar after it, and Lightray, B'dg and I fly after them.

    -back, so I'll let her take the initiative.

    The Ub'x illusion, is…

    "Dreamer, your illusions. How reliable is it for accurately recording facial expressions?"

    "That depends. If I use it to show something someone did, it will be accurate. If I try to use it to find out what they were thinking or saying, it's more… Representational."

    The Ub'x illusion turns to look down at us. "This doesn't have anything to do with you, Orange Lantern."

    "I know, I just want to talk to you." I frown. "Wait, can he-?"

    "And I don't want to talk to you. Not yet, at least."

    "We've already spoken. On board.. Ranx… Dreamer, is this impression based on what he was when he was here?"

    "Yes. If he was here before he met you, it won't be able to tell you anything about your meeting."

    "Thank you. Okay, Doctor Ub'x, why don't you want to meet me?"

    "I don’t want to be involved with either the Guardians or the Controllers. Not… Yet."

    "Then you probably shouldn't have picked up a power ring."

    "No one owns a universal emotion."

    "No, but the Guardians have mostly done a good job as regulators of certain forms of technology. You -on the other hand- come with certain baggage."

    "Do you know how many species the people of Maltus have destroyed?"

    "My species exists today because they destroyed the Burning Martians, so I'm probably the wrong person to use that explanation on."

    "Their judgement is impacted by their lack of contact with other emotions."

    "Our judgement is impacted by our contact with other emotions. If someone has to make decisions affecting the entire universe, being completely impartial about it is-. Why am I arguing this with you, you're not actually here."

    "Empathy. I'd be interested to learn that you still do things like that."

    "I assure you that you weren't."

    "I can't just drop everything to pay attention to you, you know."

    "Why not? I'm the most important thing in the universe."

    Ub'x gives me a funny look. The problem is that since he's an unusually vertical beaver it makes me want to scratch him under the chin, rather than reconsider what I just said.

    And I think he realises-. Or Dreamer realises, or something like that. In any case, he looks away from me.

    "Lantern B'dg, please stop."

    "No. We need to know what you're doing. They've tried to convince me not to arrest you, but I want to make certain that you're reformed for myself."

    "You won't find me. I'm undetectable. And even if you did, I'm pretty good as a Lantern, and I can teleport."

    "Me too. Look, do you know what the Anti-Life is?"

    "No. No, I can't say that I do."

    "Well, it's-. It's really bad. I just want you to spend a few minutes on my homeworld, and then you can go and do whatever you want."

    "To… Get rid of this 'anti-life'?"

    "Yes."

    "No."

    "Why no?"

    "Is your world worth the entire universe? Objectively?"

    "Y-. N-. Yes, for… Reasons you might know if you spoke to a maltusian."

    Lightray looks at me askance. "I'm not aware of any reason to treat your world like that."

    "Have you recently spoken to a maltusian?"

    He smiles ruefully. "I suppose not."

    "Well, there you go, then. Try asking Metron next time he appears."

    He look away. "I don't want to know that badly."

    The Ub'x illusion shakes his head. "I suppose I can't stop you if you're determined."

    "You can't."

    "And I can't stop you learning what I did here."

    "You could just point us towards a different Indigo Lantern. It's not as if I need you specifically."

    He frowns. "Other-?"

    The images fades as the Forevercar slows to a halt. Yes, this… Does look like what the vision showed. "Dreamer, can-?"

    Dreamer glares at me. "You pushed that recreation too hard. It isn't a person, just an echo of one. If you do that, it will fail and I won't be able to call it back."

    "Oh. Um. So you..? Can't get whoever it was that Ub'x was talking to?"

    The car lands and she walks towards the site of their meeting. "I should be able to recreate the meeting. And just that. And I should be able to summon whoever he met. But that is all."

    I smile at her. "Then that's what we do."
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2023
  16. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,694
    Likes Received:
    728,876
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  17. BlackCoat13

    BlackCoat13 I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2019
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    9,553
    too
     
  18. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2019
    Messages:
    2,860
    Likes Received:
    17,209
    Does any other New God know that the Life Entity is on Earth? I assume Highfather doesn't, or else he'd consider helping Earth a higher priority.
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,694
    Likes Received:
    728,876
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  20. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2016
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    1,187
    Also do they know Earth is the fifth world? THat's also pretty important and bad to have succumb to antilife
     
    RichardWhereat, kerleth, Ardy and 6 others like this.
  21. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,514
    Likes Received:
    20,551
    It was practically pulling teeth for him to admit that.

    That's hilarious.
     
    Sojiko and RamiroGalletti like this.
  22. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    821
    Likes Received:
    3,144
    "Is your world objectively more important than the universe?"

    *Paul Considers the life entity and the fifth world* "Yes"
     
  23. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2019
    Messages:
    2,860
    Likes Received:
    17,209
    Barda was surprised when the Renegade called Earth the Fifth World, so probably not. She didn't react the same in the Paragon timeline when Paul mentioned it, but that's probably because she didn't think he was serious or was just trying to make his own homeworld sound more impressive.
     
  24. RoninSword

    RoninSword Sky God

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    1,422
    Likes Received:
    3,172
    My understanding was that the term Fifth World is precisely because its the fifth world to play host to the Life Entity. Hinon asked Paul if he knew what happened to all the previous places that did. He mentioned that New Genesis and Apokolips used to be the previous place before they split in two. Renegade knows more about those details than Paul does.

    I assumed that Highfather was aware that Earth hosts the Life Entity but that is pure speculation on my part.
     
  25. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    2,149
    Likes Received:
    33,424
    Ah, it sounds like OL's group has a lead. Or at least the echo of one. Wonder if they're still on the 'fainting lizard' planet or they've moved on? Either way, this should be interesting to see...

    Okay, she's locking on. No doubt the Ring will find an appropriate spot.

    Given that she needs the most help out of the five of them, it's a reasonable decision.

    Now, what information can they even get out of this thing? Especially if Ub'x didn't fly away after whatever meeting he had here.

    A good question to ask, given that we still aren't clear on how much of the recreations are real events or her interpretation made manifest...

    Case in point. That's just kind of disturbing.

    ...That implies that there will be a time he's willing to talk.

    Man, her ability is kind of powerful, yet kind of quirky. I suppose that's why their group was training together...

    But someday, it'll be fine for you to cooperate? Something to look forwards to...

    Not that that's stopped the Guardians from trying.

    More than they'd wanted to, but not as many as deserved it, I bet.

    You could say the same about Lanterns. Remind me, whose brain is actively flooded with an Emotional Light right now?

    Honestly, OL is pretty compassionate when he can afford to be.

    Well, OL isn't going to stop chasing you until you do.

    To be honest, anyone would be tempted to do that if they met an anthropomorphic beaver... Though there are limits on how appealing anthros can be.

    Ah, changing tack? Not that the real Ub'x is likely to be aware of this. But if the impression thinks Ub'x would try this tack, well, then....

    Don't underestimate how tenacious a protagonist can be when he has something he wants.

    And that's probably a good thing.

    ...Hopefully.

    Man, I am impressed that this psychic projection is getting this kind of reaction from OL.

    ...Not that they'd willingly tell you anything about it. More likely they'd simply give a 'It's secret for a very good reason' excuse or something.

    Boy, are you in for a surprise, 'Ray.

    ...Could we not? Metron is... Not fun to talk to.

    And if there's one thing Green lanterns are good at...

    ...It's sticking to their goals.

    I wonder how vocal other Indigo Tribesmen are. In the comics, some can barely speak outside of a few words of their secret language. :p Mostly 'Nok'.

    ...Well, shit. Could have mentioned that sooner, Dreamer.

    Let's hope it provides useful information, then.

    The projection of Ub'x must have been lifelike for OL and B'dg to react to it like that. Which says something about the depth and power of Dreamer's talent. Pity it seems to have such strict rules on its usage. It'll be especially strange to see who he was meeting, and hear from them why.


    "Do you know how many species the people of Maltus have destroyed?"
     
  26. 0zymandias

    0zymandias Making the rounds.

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2020
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    374
    How does the match up between weak Lantern vs Apostle go? Also this basically Old Man Paul, he's probably knows a hundred and one tricks on how to deal with magic and those empowered by gods, the question is just whether Diabo is confident enough to try them.
     
    Celtic Spartan and Cuchulin like this.
  27. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2017
    Messages:
    637
    Likes Received:
    4,552
    Makes sense, really, as a (New) God power. Extremely powerful...within its specific domain. The trick is in knowing how to cheese that one, seemingly limited power.

    (The example my gaming group likes to use is Accellerator from A Certain Scientific Index. His power is "vector control", which sounds extremely niche and limited...until you consider what a "vector" IS. Like, for instance, the vector of the flow of blood in your body...)
     
  28. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,514
    Likes Received:
    20,551
    Badly for the Rookie Lantern.

    And these Gods don't play by the rules or magic Paul would know.
     
  29. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,694
    Likes Received:
    728,876
    Thank you, corrected.
    Got to admit, I thought that was going to be Furry Force. Thank you for your mercy.
     
  30. RoninSword

    RoninSword Sky God

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    1,422
    Likes Received:
    3,172
    Missing bolded word. Talking about the species as a whole and not just individuals. Unless the fact that there are still some Burning Martians around mean Paul isn't talking about the whole species.
     
Loading...