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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Ah, I thought the other guy was right but this explains it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2019
  2. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    An admin was the first to comment, and they didn't disapprove of it.
     
  3. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    I hope this will be the push that will make Grayven track and rescue Kara-16.
     
  4. Aeess

    Aeess I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Grayven should consider recruiting Guy 50, he wouldn't really have anything tying him to that earth and as a Guy Gardner he should be a competent Lantern regardless of colour.

    It would also allow him to finally get an additional Sinestro Lantern.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2019
  5. WaleXdraK

    WaleXdraK Not too sore, are you?

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    Could someone tell me what was the name of the arc when Grayven visited universe50 for the fist time? Also Mr Zoat How do Our Grayven look? Exactly like Grayven 50 (which i think look like Grayven during Imperiex crisis)? Also the height difference between Kara 50 and Grayven isn’t that big if you use the official height, she 5,5 and him 7,3, of course she would look tiny (because grayven weight around six time more then Kara so he is far larger).
    ps: the question about Grayven appearance is for a good reasons, that hair cut is just no.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2019
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  6. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I notice he didn’t mention Blackfire in any way, and I’m not sure if they’re officially together but I believe there’s some courtship going on.
     
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  7. Aeess

    Aeess I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    He did mention her.
     
  8. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I don’t really remember that happening onscreen, though yes I did catch that he was talking about two different women there. I thought Renegade Blackfire was fairly amenable to Renegade’s course of action in what I do remember though. And on a meta-perspective Word of Zoat and other posters led me to believe they were OTP. Paragon is likely far more alienated from his Blackfire, so Renegade still dating his version is a clearer distinction between them, echoing their different dynamics with their Jades.

    I wasn’t a fan of the subtle Conquest aura mentally nudging Blackfire with no way for her to resist though, so it’s not an especially regrettable loss for me.
    Renegade should be confidently bisexual as well, right? I’m aware his coming on to Guy a while ago was a joke but one I always interpreted with a kernel of truth; his early Japanese orgy activities probably meant any budding attraction to Superboy wasn’t as strong due to having an actual outlet for sexual activity, but he did once mention Connor as the person on the Team was most fond of, though it feels like a million years ago. I’d like to see some more acknowledgment of those aspects in more contemporary episodes- I did always like the idea of Paul and John Constantine getting together...
     
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  9. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

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    Most of what happens to Renegade happens offscreen. That's lessened a bit in recently , but it's still true.
     
  10. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    A change in relationship status is generally seen on-screen though, at least for the protagonists and most other characters (which reminds me that we've never seen any iteration of Earth-16Z Carol Ferris, which given Renegade Ghi'ata's actions seems a bit overdue- it would be fun to see Carol trying to live a perfectly routine life while being followed around by what is essentially an alien Magical Girl of Love).

    I could, of course, be forgetting some things given the length of the story; last I really remember of Renegade Blackfire was her and Renegade toasting a drink over successfully acquiring the Doomsday ship, which seemed to have fairly strong romantic undertones.
     
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  11. DougA

    DougA Getting out there.

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    "No, though that does sound a name I'd give a ship." A big ship, anyway. It would be a bit farcical for a destroyer. "Does it have better crew quarters than the thanagarian ship you were using?"

    First time I've tried this, I'll probably mess it up, but 'sound' should be 'sound like'
     
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  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Not really. Guy 16 did a lot of soul searching before he became the Lantern he is today, and his still has temper problems. Guy 50 isn't anything like there yet. In a few years if he works at it, maybe, but right not he doesn't have that appeal.

    The Renegade also lacks a spare ring.
    Stars, Crossed.
    Broadly like that, with slightly better hair and a face a little more like mine.
    She's also slender while he's broad.
    I originally meant for them to spend more time together, then I looked back and realised that I hadn't written it.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  13. Aeess

    Aeess I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Fair enough, but I still think that recruiting him just for the potential he holds would be worth it, but I can see why Grayven wouldn't.
    He doesn't lack a Ring maker, since he recruited Weaponer Lysis.
     
  14. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Lysis wasn't directly involved in making Sinestro's ring. She could probably learn how to do it, but there'd be a certain amount of wastage involved.
     
  15. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I know the joke is that no one reads it, but I can't help but point out the FAQ. In which the creation of a Yellow Ring is demonstrated.

    The fuel for the furnace being the minor niggle of the pure raw terror of any entire DYING PLANET and all the living creatures on it. An act performed by the Weaponers for just such a resource.

    Now, I'm no peoplematation, but that seems like kinda a high cost.
     
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  16. infinityDivided

    infinityDivided ******** of Doom

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    Presumably, having access to something like Parallax or even just a Yellow Personal Lantern might be enough to create another Yellow ring. And I think Grayven has the latter, and wouldn't object to sticking Parallax in a Yellow Central Lantern, if he could find it.
     
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  17. Aeess

    Aeess I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    She managed to create a Red Lantern, which originally took an entire sector dying, I trust her to be competent enough to manage finding enough fear in Vega.
     
  18. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I wouldn't know.

    Personally, I would think that if you managed to subdue Parallax, using him to create a yellow ring would be redundant.

    However, given the sheer horror that the panels suggest is needed, I'm going to disagree with it being so easy. We'd need WoZ on the matter, but personally? I like the idea of a power ring requiring a terrifying amount of whatever emotion it runs on. Makes it seem more...unique, special.
     
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  19. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Paragon-Kalmin used the hope of a large number of refugees to forge the blue power ring, though I don't recall if there was an exact number given (also is Renegade-Kalmin dead or still holed up in his fortress waiting for a glorious death-in-battle?)

    I don't remember the story giving any indication of how exactly Lysis tapped into the red light well enough to make the red power ring. I'm sure she has plenty of rage and hate but it does diminish the 'specialness,' as Maxx says, if just one person is able to do it, unless they're a really higher-tier kind of being.
    I'm not sure if there any color-specific differences in the art/science of power ring construction but I personally can't really imagine there would be besides obviously being in a different emotional frame of mind depending on the ring. While Word of Zoat just said that Lysis isn't currently capable of easily and skilfully making a yellow power ring, her making a red one with no apparent complications seems to contradict that, at least in my opinion.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2019
  20. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    If just anyone can do it, then why doesn't everyone? At least that's how I feel.

    I also like the idea of power rings being top tier items rather than somewhat mundane tools.
     
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  21. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I know you've made edits of varying degrees before, like the rewrite of the Paragon-Legion of Superheroes and Persuader updates, plus the timings of the first communications between Georgia Sivana-Vril Dox II. This Blackfire-Renegade thing seems to be a thing far more complicated and work-intensive to retroactively insert into the story, and even editing out the reference to her in the latest update might not solve the issue that Renegade has been flirting with Kara for most of their interactions since last episode. Of course, I don't think Blackfire and Renegade do have anything actually serious, formally exclusive or committed in their dynamic, just an acknowledgment of courtship, so I could suggest an edit in the last episode where Renegade thinks along those lines in his head before first hitting on Kara (at least first since meeting Blackfire). It might not make him look too good, but I think it could still work.
    Of course, just having their relationship cooling offscreen isn't the worst case of writing in the world so I can roll with it, but possibly adding some contemplation of her and their changed dynamic in Renegade's internal narration would be helpful.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019
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  22. WaleXdraK

    WaleXdraK Not too sore, are you?

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    Thank you, if he had that curly mullet like haircut it would have been too much for me, also now i can’t help to imagine Grayven with an expression similar to your profile picture :D.
     
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  23. Aeess

    Aeess I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Zoat actually explained that when someone asked about it.

    Considering this should also apply to fear, I assume that it wouldn't be that hard for her to forge a Yellow Ring.
     
  24. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    I don't think they GET fear, they understand how to cause fear, but they don't feel fear themselves (often) this is the "wastage" Zoat is talking about that would need them to get extreme quantities of fear from a civilization to pull it off.

    The weaponeers probably understand the red and orange lights the most, followed by Green and Yellow.
     
  25. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    (Minor YJ S3 Spoiler) The recent mention of the old Green Lantern/Alan, plus the season 3 funeral of Joan Garrick, prompt me to ask- has he rejuvenated all his peers from the Justice Society, or at least offered? Paragon should probably have offered this too at some point. I can see them refusing because of some platitudes about already having lived their lives or whatever, but I don't think the issue was ever brought up. Given that a lot of their members have been active (Red Tornado, Wonder Woman) or newly active (Blue Lantern, the Hawks) and that there should still be an unidentified speedster villain running around from the Zigzag episode, I'd hope they'd at least consider returning to heroics.
     
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  26. dreaddragonking

    dreaddragonking Getting out there.

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    i love how casual Grayven is, he is just so much fun, and if i was a minion to someone, i would want to work for him because i have a good chance of getting powers from it and f*cking up doesn't result in execution
     
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  27. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    So, pretty consistent with the DCAU aesthetic, then (with a few exceptions, the male DCAU characters who get a lot of screentime tend to be much broader than the female characters who do).
     
  28. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    YJ SEASON 3 SPOILERS: didn’t Wally fucking die and come back as a ghost with abs bigger than his head?
     
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  29. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Was there? I don't remember that. It must have been really brief.
    Some would be against it due to afterlives provably existing. But the SI doesn't have the sort of attachment to the other members of the Justice Society that would let him do that.
    You know, there are these things called 'spoiler tags'. Let me show you.
    The Wallace we see in series three is a figment of Artemis' imagination created by Zatanna. Apart from the one Richard hallucinated.
     
  30. Threadmarks: Guys from Gotham (part 7)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    16th February
    23:35 GMT -5


    Detective Foley frowns slightly as he walks back from interviewing a small group of witnesses from the apartment block opposite. "Hm."

    "Something wrong, detective?"

    "It's this whole 'Gotham not being a nightmare' thing." He shakes his head. "Just a few years back everyone would have clammed up after something like this. Now, I'm gunna have to call in more uniforms just to get all the statements."

    "I take it that you grew up in Gotham, then?"

    "Uh-huh." He looks around, putting his notebook back in his jacket. "I joined up too late to have to go through the worst of it back in the nineties, but I saw plenty anyway. Heh." He smiles. "I guess this is what it's like being on the police in other cities, right?"

    "People helping the police, yes. Drive by shootings, not so much."

    "I don't know if this counts-."

    There's a flash as another member of the Congregation teleports in, carrying a flask of coffee.

    "I thought those guys were all auxiliaries these days. Why not get them to do it? You know they'd love to."

    "That's against the rules. Oh, they can type them up and whatever, but actually questioning witnesses? No way. They wanna do that, then they can go to the academy like everyone else."

    "Are some of them doing that?"

    "Yeah. Which is gunna be fun in a couple of years. Don't think we're ever had metahuman officers in Gotham."

    "Really?"

    "Yeah." He shrugs. "You'd think with all the crazies we'd get at least one or two." He shakes his head. "No. Guess they figure they can get better offers in Metropolis or something."

    "Well… Given the choice"

    He nods. "So… Hey, you don't need to.. stick around. We've got your statement, your recordings. The Dragons aren't going to try anything with all of us right here."

    I nod. "Thank you. I'll do that. Let me know if-."

    "Detective!" We look around as a uniformed officer dashes up. "Message on the radio! Some gang's attacking the mayor's house! Commish says we're closest!"

    "Yeah, probably." He turns to me. "But if we're working with vigilantes now anyway… You wanna chip in?"

    Ring?

    "Ah, excellent!"

    "That's kinda harsh. I mean, I didn't vote for him either-."

    "I'm not an American citizen. My ring just showed me that the attackers are wearing Alice in Wonderland-themed costumes! I've wanted to talk to Jervis Tetch for a while. I've got a sneaking suspicion that his hats are based on a stripped-down Thinker's Cap-."

    "Whow." Detective Foley looks concerned. "The mind control guy. Ah, look, I don't think Gotham would survive it if he got a hold of you. Maybe-."

    I don my power armour. "No, it's fine. Not only am I trained to resist mental intrusions, but this armour has every different sort of telepathic baffle I know about. Including a short term memory backup, just in case. It'll take more than a 'mad hat' to get through. Please organise prisoner transportation for twelve people."

    In this armour it isn't practical to raise my right forefinger to my forehead, so I skip that and just teleport straight to the room. Two guards, wearing… Extremely amateurish Tweedledum and Tweedledee costumes. They look like someone tried to design a 'dark and gritty' version, but was hamstrung by the need to make it recognisable as the Lewis Carroll character. They aren't Dumfree and Deever Tweed. Maybe they fell out with Tetch?

    Doesn't really matter. I take control of the cameras attached to their jackets and the cameras mounted on the roof and set them to show what they would show if all was well. Then I scan their phones, examine their records… Next call in is in three minutes. I don't need that long. Pick up the numbers and stun them. Subspace their guns and tie them up.

    Ten people remaining. Three watching the front, two at the back. Three shepherding the mayor and family into the dining hall. Two waiting there. None of them are Tetch, which is a little disappointing. Maybe that's an Alice? He's found one who's actually criminally inclined? From her dress I'd have thought that she was more of a Duchess figure, but I've… Never actually read Alice in Wonderland. Their clothes are a bit off and they've got themed masks. How important is it?

    Probably not very.

    I phase through the building, coming out behind the two rear guards. Cameras-. In fact, get into the internal security cameras and make them all send clear images. And stun, guns and telephones. Then I drop, phasing through the basement and coming up behind… Two, the third out of line of sight for a moment. Huh, if I couldn't see emotions this might actually be hard. They're stunned, third guy's stunned, and everyone else is in the dining room.

    Huh. No scry-blocking here either. I suppose that there's no margin in it for Luthor to help Gotham crazies, but it's still nice to see the bad guys not being first to adopt new techniques.

    Five remain, four armed men and the woman who appears to be in charge. She's carrying a small knife, with another small knife in a concealed sheath. No gun, no armour. The patterns of emotion inside her suggest that she's a good deal less than entirely rational. But: Gotham. At this point that was more or less what I was expecting. Extend filaments through the house and.. transition the hostages to the front door.

    I wave to them as the mayor hustles his family out of the house, then amble -in as much as power armour lets me amble- towards the dining room.

    "Boss, they just vanished."

    "Oh. So they did."

    "Yeah, that was me." I stroll in. "You're under arrest for… Attempted murder? I don't really know what your aim was-"

    Guns come up and bullets stop dead as they hit my kinetic barrier.

    "-here. I've been living in this city long enough that I'm getting junk mail with my name on it posted to me. And even if -for some insane reason- I didn't get called in… Twelve people? Batman's only in the Ukraine, he could be back in an hour if he felt he had to. Robin could take twelve people. Artemis could take twelve people. And Batwoman… Exists."

    Hm. Not feeling any telepathic intrusion or detecting any equipment.

    "And I didn't want to go there, but that knife? My penis is bigger than that knife. That is not a scary knife. Is Tetch getting here later?"

    "I don't work for Tetch."

    "You might end up working for him involuntarily if he finds out you've been using his theme. What are you called, anyway?"

    "I am Alice, and I will-."

    I put a construct muzzle on her.

    "Oh, not a good choice of name. I'll see about making sure you aren't housed near Tetch when they take you to Arkham. Now are you going to put your weapons down or am I going to have to nearly make an effort?"
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019
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