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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Bigking321

    Bigking321 Getting sticky.

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    Personally, I enjoyed this a lot and am super excited about what happens next.

    Many places this could go. All of them interesting.

    ...never thought when this story started that there would be actual serious crossover with mlp. How utterly bizarre.

    Well, can't say I'm the least bit unhappy about it. A well written story is a well written story.
     
  2. Silverias

    Silverias Making the rounds.

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    "I am" isn't a song, it's a type. Like the "I want" song. (Like "Go the Distance" from Hercules, or "Part of your world" from little mermaid)

    Think more...personal exposition rather than personal expression.
     
  3. nick012000

    nick012000 Experienced.

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    I’m guessing that Darkseid is going to notice a fragment of the Anti-Life Equation being destroyed like this. Maybe he’ll just send Steppenwulf or someone on his level rather than coming himself, though, depending on how genre savvy he is.

    Then again, maybe he'll just show up on Grayven's couch again to congratulate him on finding a worthy spouse.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2020
  4. Redhawk

    Redhawk Getting out there.

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    So Luna is the only one Grayven has told this secret to, right? Not even Jade knew if I recall correctly.
     
  5. The Froggy Ninja

    The Froggy Ninja Experienced.

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    I Am Songs are a type of song rather than a specific one. They tend to be about introducing or affirming one’s character and themes. Notable examples include Garnet’s “Stronger Than You”, Genie‘s “Friend Like Me” and, from MLP Pinkie’s “Smile Song”. Many Villain Songs take the form of I Am songs, though some take the form of I Want songs.
     
  6. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    I know, right? It's like seeing the '????' option in an RPG's Arena area, and going "Oh, that sounds cool, let's try it- Oh god What the Fuck Is That! Oh god, it killed the tank in one hit!"

    They're going to invoke the Anti-Life fragment via simple dream logic. Delicious.

    Brave Heart, Paul.

    8-ball says: "Outlook Hazy, Try Again Later."

    Is this really the best time for this? No, wait. Of course it is!

    Huh, that's a hell of an outlook.

    Aw, that's sweet.

    Boss interrupt! Bad form, stepping on a friendship moment!

    Gah. Imagine if it became corporeal...

    That's a desperate reach, Luna, but I don't think Harmony would like that play.

    And out comes the weaponised depression.

    I'm sure He's very amused at the whole circumstance. It's probably proving very informative.

    Looks like they both had the same idea. Last minute reveal of a secret for a last minute reprieve/power-up...

    ...But the bad guy seems to have other ideas.

    Whether it's really the first time he's said it outright or not, this is big. This is as big a status-quo changer as Twilight becoming an Alicorn. Hell, as much as Sunset becoming an alicorn!

    And all because of one bad day at work before he ended up here...

    Wait, what?

    Ha! A natural reaction!

    Hate and Love. Such a fine division between them. Ironically, they're not opposites - that would be Indifference, which would be a part of the Anti-Life.

    She's ready...

    And so is he...

    Oh, my. Weaponised Life.

    And it can't comprehend the threat it's facing. How appropriate.

    Be honest, Mr Zoat, how far in advance did you have this moment planned out?:D Because it is awesome. Corny as hell, but that's entirely in the tone of the series.

    "And why do I suddenly feel the need to inhale the fumes of burning dried leaves from a rolled paper tube?"

    I bet they feel wired as hell right now. All tingly.

    I don't know, that's asking a lot...

    And development! He's too happy for snark right now.

    Hmm... Wonder if he'll begin to shift his appearance at all after this...

    And the big moment is done. A quick palate cleanser of an Alt-Paul, then on to the denouement. Bring on the musical scene!
     
  7. Alasnuyo

    Alasnuyo I am always here

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    Something tells me that this will make Darkseid sit up and notice Wilson, and that's not a good thing for that world at all.
     
  8. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    So is the Anti-life gone or merely contained again?

    Also, the Bearers and Celestia didn't even matter in the end. That is sort of hilarious :D

    LUNA AND GRAYVEN ARE STRONG PONIES WHO NO NEED SOME GOODY TWO-HOOVES!
     
  9. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Getting sticky.

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    I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT REFORMED VILLAIN THAT DON'T NEED NO HENCHMEN!
     
  10. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Know what you're doing yet?

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    And now the courtship can truly begin. Interdimensional long-distance relationship? No problem. Celestia pulled off the very same thing with the Sombra of a Mirror Universe.

    Luna can surely accomplish the same.
     
  11. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    And he's finally being Honest.
     
  12. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Assuming that Darkseid can observe Grayven through the anti-life fragment, what do you think he'd have done back in DC-16 if he found out that 'Grayven' was just a human pretending to be his son?

    Even if he couldn't view that, that's the kind of secret one person keeps, because two people knowing means Darkseid'd eventually find out.
     
  13. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Getting sticky.

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    what makes you think darkseid didn't already know? yes our grayven's metaphysique was the same, but it's still something that wasn't there until just before.
     
  14. Cherico

    Cherico Well worn.

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    Theres always the possibility that OL mantled Graven so hard he became him.
     
  15. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    I think they can take him.
    Rainbow Dash can outfly the Omega Beams so they turn back and hit Darkseid.
    Pinkie Pie can... just... break reality through sheer stupidity, and shoot him with the Party Cannon.
    Applejack can go one on one with Darkseid physically and buck him up, while tanking anything he dishes out.
    Fluttershy can command the armies of magical animals with esoteric powers such as cockatrices to petrify Darkseid. Or maybe even lock him down with The Stare.
    Rarity can make shields to protect others from Darkseid's attacks, while she breaks out the martial arts moves.
    And Twilight Sparkle is an alicorn. They don't need more help.
    And if that doesn't work, Celestia can hit him with the sun.
     
    Simonbob, Caerwen, Gilhelmi and 9 others like this.
  16. Huttj509

    Huttj509 Getting out there.

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    Are you doing that on purpose?
     
  17. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Well, the mantle is conquest, and Paul definitely conquered the identity, so much so that earth 16's Grayven is a pale imitation. He definitely mantled him.
     
  18. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Darkseid was watching the entire time through Fatherbox so has known from the beginning.



    No... No there isn't... Because that's not actually a thing...
     
  19. thepsyborg

    thepsyborg Know what you're doing yet?

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    Holy fuck, did actual character development for Grayven just actually happen!??!?!?!?!

    Nice. Maybe in a dozen more years I won't be vaguely irritated whenever he's on-screen.
     
  20. Idkusername

    Idkusername Not too sore, are you?

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    Ok, while I admit I have no idea what the power levels for MLP:FiM are, having never watched it, I fear you are gravely underestimating Darkseid.



    Unless your post was sarcastic.
     
  21. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Nah, I've seen a couple of episodes, Pinkie Pie could take him. The power levels are vast, and her feats are beyond anything in DC.
     
  22. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Getting sticky.

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    he's mostly shitposting, but depending on the episode pinkie is anything from fast as fuck, to a casual reality warper. so she could probably win.
     
  23. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    (Screams in FAQ)
     
  24. lefthandturnsignal

    lefthandturnsignal Making the rounds.

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    Father box is the one that turned his soul into a copy of grayven. Darkseid knows for sure, because father box was reporting everything back to him.

    Also pinkie could take darkseid in the same way bugs bunny could.
     
  25. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Getting sticky.

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    so make a complete joke out of him, win in a landslide, and laugh to the bank?
     
  26. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey Not too sore, are you?

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    At first I thought it was trite, which made the eventual "oh shit" moment highly potent, which in turn made the win more satisfying.

    I don't think the anti-life itself can be destroyed permanently like that, just someone's understanding/connection to it. Like you could destroy a lantern's ring, but that doesn't affect the existence of the Glow itself.
    I'd compare Darksied giving part of the equation to Paul/Grayven to the way Hinon lost her connection to the orange light to create an orange ring.
     
    Ngamer11, Navi-Hank and Darko like this.
  27. DrThoth

    DrThoth Not too sore, are you?

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    I mean he had a fairly similar moment of remorse and self-improvement after Darkseid's first appearance/visit to him, when he had to regain his emotional drives and stopped doing things like assimilating people, though after a while he seemed to fall into similar habits. We'll see how he does now.

    I believe this episode is meant to take Sunset and everything Pony-related out of the story, but I'm kind of on-board for Renegade/Luna, even if they're just platonic colleagues. Transdimensional magic and cultural exchange could be interesting too, though that's already going on with Zerox and places- which reminds me, does Renegade have plans to contact Rama Khan in Jarhanpur? Teth Adom is around in his timeline now, and Circe has a non-zero chance of knowing something about it from mystic means or something (did the confrontation with Oggar happen off-screen or something? I don't remember a reference to it after the initial warning).
     
  28. Aeess

    Aeess Not too sore, are you?

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    Kinda, a significant amount of the Justice League and Scott and Barda kinda suspect it and renegade basically told them that they dont really want to know if he's really Grayven, since if hes not Eart is in even more danger from Apokalypse.
     
  29. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Agreed!! Pinkie on a good day = Peak Bugs Bunny who once used a regular saw to separate Florida from the rest of the USA.
     
  30. Prognostic Hannya

    Prognostic Hannya Making the rounds.

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    If it turns out that a white lantern ring could cure an anti-life infection all along Grayven is gonna be so pissed when he finally gets one. I just can't wait for his inevitable "HOW DID I MISS THIS" freakout.
     
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