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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. TheMidnightRook

    TheMidnightRook Not too sore, are you?

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    That's the Infinite Loops version of Trixie, not the canon one.
     
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  2. Lupercal

    Lupercal Not too sore, are you?

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    Point of order the one time we see her fight in the changling hive she proves herself a skilled combat illutionist, which will always be useful in any combat situation.

    That said she is not a fighter or soldier and has no interest in becoming one so she is not relevent to the Renegade's plans.
     
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  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Assuming that Equestria's population is roughly what Europe's was at that level of technological development, then even allowing for a thousand year lifespan there's a good chance that Grayven's sojourn to the Vega Systems resulted in him seeing more death in war than she has.

    Then there's the problem of special talents. Some ponies will get talents relating to violence and be driven to use them. Grayven's comments hurt here because they addressed what the Royal Guard consider to be their main purpose in life. In Celestia was intentionally running the Guard into the ground then she had a moral obligation to come up with a way of removing or changing their cutie marks. Or she could just keep a very small and well trained standing army, which she effectively ended up doing in the shape of the Bearers anyway.
     
  4. Ct613hulu

    Ct613hulu Experienced.

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    I am not trying to say that Celestia is necessarily making the right decision in regarding to keeping the military weak. I simply think that the presented argument could serve as a reason for why the military is so weak that doesn't present Celestia as being incredibly incompetent.
     
  5. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    There’s a difference between seeing people die in war and seeing people you know and care about die in war. Grayven has the former experience while Celestia likely has the latter. The royal guard is likely there to protect Celestia from crazy ponies and wild animals. After all, what if a bear wanders in to the royal palace and starts doing his buiseness all over the place.
     
  6. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Putting aside the large "visible precautions" issue you are missing some rather important logic.

    She knew when she first hit him that he might not be dead.

    Then a year went by and nothing happened.

    Then ten years went by and nothing happened.

    Then a hundred years went by and still nothing happened.

    Then a thousand years went by and it's at the point where statistically speaking there's a better chance of a person dying to a meteor strike then there is of Discord still being alive.

    So basically put I could use that same level of logic to argue that everyone not living inside a "will protect you from a direct strike" nuclear bunker is an idiot.
     
  7. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    Could you make a reasonable case for finding those with Cutie Marks which point to war and conflict, and creating a training cadre, which spends its time in wargames, with some visits, by selected individuals, to parts of the world where conflict is still an active issue?

    That would tie-up the conflict-driven, and at least put them in one place so you know where they are. As well as allowing soldier training in time for when portents say it will be needed. The Royal Guards would, of course, be trained in a limited way by this group (as well as in observation and diplomacy). All this avoids a Praetorian Guard situation, as you don't mix your elite forces intimately with your government..
     
  8. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    Shit, that explains a lot if all of her best ponies were off in Saddle Arabia fighting a war in the Middle East. Or if there’s an email going border war with the changelings and the best soldiers are patrolling the border.
     
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  9. Doccer

    Doccer Getting sticky.

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    Ya know this chapter is proof Grayvens a nice guy. This chapter would have been good to point out that Celestia didn't see fit to inform them of Nightmare Moons return and possible counter measures they should try or keeping them appraised of Discord and statues like him and so on. He kept the failures on them. Which is an improvement! Honest. Not searching for a way to praise Great Grayven at all, I swear!
     
  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Do you think it would be nicer to leave them completely unprepared for the next crisis so that they and all the ponies they're charged with protecting are killed?
     
  11. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    She also created lightning in her first appearance and she is good with fireworks.
     
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  12. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Getting sticky.

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    the lightning was her being showy, illusion magic again. and "Being good with fireworks" doesn't translate to an impeccable knowledge on how to do the boomy thing. especially not on the level that megumin does.
     
  13. Threadmarks: Equestrian Guise (part 11)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Afternoon
    Equestria


    Celestia takes a step forward, and whatever music-based magic was keeping everyone cooperating appears to fade away.

    "Fillies and gentlecolts, could you please give my student and I the room?"

    And unlike on Earth, not a single one of them takes the central gangway, with the attendant risk of accidentally pushing against their goddess-queen. They only dare try it if her downward path has already taken her past their row. Otherwise they file towards the sides of the room and then head towards the back. Aside from a couple who teleport, and the lecturer who grabs the books Sunset handed him and heads for the staff entrance. Only those guardsponies Sunset brought with us stick around, and they spread out towards the exits. None try to stay in their places.

    Celestia casts a slightly wary eye over me, but otherwise keeps her attention on Sunset. Sunset in turn stares at Celestia like she's trying to bore a hole in her.

    "I'm not your student."

    "I can banish you from Canterlot if you like-."

    I grin. "You can try." Cock of the Walk Stance

    A slight exhalation and a small glance my way, before she returns her attention to Sunset.

    "But I don't see how that would help either of us."

    The leftmost guard captain looks at her and she nods. He taps his right hoof on the ground twice, and the spread out guard begin leaving the room to take up position on the far side of the doors. She ignored the Stance! How dare she!

    Sunset walks to the front of the stage as Celestia reaches the front of the room. Sunset's head is a little higher than Celestia's in this position, but it's like… Yeah, a child sitting on the top of the stairs and claiming to be taller than their parent. Now… Do I want to involve myself or not?

    I want Sunset to.. win something here. Putting Celestia off her stride helps with that, because however Sunset feels about Celestia personally 'obey the goddess-queen' has been imprinted onto the entire pony population of Equestria for a thousand years. She can break the conditioning, but that sort of thing generally makes people… Angry. Shouty. Stupid. They build up internal tension before breaking the taboo and then the fact that they've broken it becomes their sole focus.

    Ah! Perfect! I turn and trot down the steps at the side of the stage, then stand on Celestia's left. She may be the tallest pony on the planet but she's still shorter than me. And far skinnier. I… Read a piece of fan fiction back on Earth Prime where one of the characters is viscerally disgusted by Celestia, thinking of her as some sort of alien monstrosity that real ponies unaccountably allow to lord it over them. And… Yes, I see where he was coming from. Twilight and Luna both have body proportions more like those of the regular ponies than Celestia does.

    Anyway, since My Big Pony over there has Equestrian forward-mounted eyes rather than the real horse side-mounted eyes, me lurking in the periphery of her visual field should be just off-putting enough to give Sunset an edge.

    Sunset looks down at Celestia from the edge of the stage, then turns her head my way.

    "Grayven, you can open a portal to anywhere on this planet from Challenger Mountain, right?"

    I nod. "Yes, though without Starswirl's mirror we wouldn't transform."

    Sunset turns back to Celestia. "Then it actually doesn't matter if you banish me again. My ritual-" She tosses her head in the direction of the blackboard, though there's next to no chance that Celestia understands what she's written. "-will work just fine anywhere. I don't even have to be in Equestria."

    Celestia nods slowly. "I take it that you believe that you've found a way to become an alicorn." I get another small glance. "I'm surprised that you were able to find someone who could help you."

    "Yeah, it was amazing how far I could get with a mentor who wasn't lying to me, hiding things from me or ordering everypony not to help me. You know, actually mentoring me, rather than wasting my time."

    Celestia gives me a slightly longer glance, with ever so slightly narrowed eyes. I smile back.

    "But no. That's just how Starswirl's mirror made him look because he's so big and powerful on the other side that the only thing it could make him that made sense was an alicorn. I worked out how the alicorn transformation worked by myself."

    "I.. see. And does that make you happy?"

    Sunset goes to answer, then stops herself. Celestia notices and blinks.

    "If you don't want to t-."

    "I came back because I want to talk to you about it. But I remember a dozen times where you turned what I said against me to distract me from the fact that you'd taken me on as a student with no intention of teaching me anything."

    "That's-."

    "I spoke to Twilight. I know perfectly well that the only reason you took either of us on as students was to use the Elements of Harmony on Princess Luna."

    "That's not-."

    "Then why did you insist on giving me sociology lectures? I was the greatest magic user in the Gifted School including the teachers."

    "I hoped that you could learn to have friends. I didn't want you to shut yourself-."

    "I did. When I finally met people who shared my interest in magic, guess what? I made friends. Because we had something in common, because I liked spending time with them, because they weren't total wastes of my time. I agreed to become your student because I thought I'd learn more about magic from you than I could anywhere else and whaw was I wrong. I learned more in a year surrounded by.. talking monkeys teaching myself than I did in all my time in Canterlot."

    She takes a deep breath.

    "And you know what else I found out talking to Twilight? I was curious what sort of pony you'd pick after me. How she'd be different to me." She snorts with laughter. "And I'm not sure if I should find it funny or horrifying. You picked a classicist cultist."

    Celestia looks at her sternly. "Twilight Sparkle is not a cultist."

    "She once drove a town mad because she was worried about missing a weekly 'friendship' report. She's completely fixated on making you happy. You can't have missed that… Can you? Was that what you were trying to do to me?" Sunset snorts derisorily. "Lucky escape there. At least her complete lack of interest in original research makes her easier for you to handle."

    "Twilight Sparkle is an accomplished scholar. She became an alicorn by completing an original spell, which-."

    "She became an alicorn by completing Starswirl's poem that didn't require her to understand the underlying mechanism at all. Your replacement for a pony who challenged you was a total sycophant!" Sunset paces a little. "I know how it worked. I even know how Mi Amore Cadenza's ascension worked, something you deliberately hid from me. Literally everything you did since taking me on as your student drove me further away, and now I've got everything I wanted in spite of you."

    "I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I was trying to help you-."

    "You were trying to help Luna. You know, if you'd just done the sensible thing and told me that in the first place I'd have been happy to help. And don't.. try to give me any horse apples about it not working if I tried to make friends deliberately. I made my first friend when all I wanted was a research partner."

    Celestia smiles.

    "You're making friends now?"

    "Yes, I'm making f-. No!" Her face twitches. "I'm not-! Grghkaaagh!"

    Her horn glows and I get ready to lunge to knock Celestia out of the way, but-. With a pop Sunset vanishes.

    Celestia bows her head with a sigh.

    "Hey, look on the bright side: I thought she was going to take a shot at you."

    "Graven." She turns her head towards me. "I want to know what you've been teaching my student."
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2020
  14. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Weary or wary?
     
  15. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    Lucky escape, and... is derisorily a word?
     
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  16. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  17. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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  18. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Sunset "Mommy Issues" Shimmer
     
  19. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    Didn't... didn't the other one literally just get done explaining what they learned? Suppose she wasn't listening to that part, only the bits that concerned friendship.
     
  20. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Grayven... She can squish you with a Sun...

    Celestia totally just momed her. :D
     
  21. w34v3r

    w34v3r Versed in the lewd.

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    Anyone who has met Graven will tell you that it is in fact both.
     
  22. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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  23. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    Having somebody say what they've learned is very different from being told what they were taught.

    Put simply, when it comes to yourself you are your own least reliable narrator.
     
  24. Ph34r_n0_3V1L

    Ph34r_n0_3V1L The Best Monkey

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    Bramble Thorn and RichardWhereat like this.
  25. Alasnuyo

    Alasnuyo I am always here

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    Was this Grayven or Celestia's godspeech? The context is kinda ambiguous.

    Edit: Nevermind. I missed Grayven's earlier use of godspeech.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2020
  26. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Welp, musical number's over, with quite the virtual record scratch.

    Boy, that's... Concerning. Are they so terrified of her they can't bear her displeasure at all?

    Oh, boy... That's a lot of pent-up anger coming out...

    New God against near-godlike being. Let's hope Canterlot is still standing when all's said and done...

    Sounds like she's had a lot of time to think about how things went. Fifteen years, wasn't it? Lots of time for recriminations...

    I don't think she's concerned with you, Grayven. Seeing a new alicorn might have gotten her notice, but she's laser-focused on Sunset right now...

    And how much will Sunset hate you if you do?

    Yeah, lots of "Oh god, what did I just do?!" second thoughts, for one thing.

    Whereas Celestia is a little more Horse-like. Or something a little fey. I can see that reaction...

    Petty, but not stealing Sunset's thunder. Well chosen.

    Good god, imagine the children's reactions...

    I suppose she was a little worried after her student leapt into a portal leading who-knows-where...

    Oh, boy. And I thought his first impression with Luna was bad... At least she isn't trying to kill him... Yet.

    Oh, my. Was anyone expecting that question?

    Because that question just smashed through her emotional armour like it was nothing...

    Oh, dear...

    Looks like that plan kind of backfired, eh?

    So Celestia's plan had the exact opposite effect she wanted. Well done, Sunbutt.

    Oh, she's not happy, is she?

    ...I can't argue with that...

    And somehow, I have the feeling Celestia is proud of that. Oh, not the 'driving her away' part, the fact that Sunset has learnt.

    This is kind of all Celestia's fault, yes...

    ...And that's what she focuses on? Methinks she's been mainlining Harmony too long...

    And she just stormed out like an angry teenager. Welp.

    And now the Mom voice comes out. Is she going to give Grayven the female equivalent of a Shovel Speech?

    Now, how is Grayven going to play this... And what blunders is Sunset about to make in her anger? I suppose we'll find out soon enough...

    Godspeech:
    Corrections:
    ...and they spread out towards the exits.
    "Lucky escape there.
     
  27. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Know what you're doing yet?

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    mentor that wasn't
    though -> thought
    completed -> completely
    Luck -> Lucky
     
  28. masterofmadness

    masterofmadness Know what you're doing yet?

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    I seem to recall Sunset making it very clear she is not your student anymore.

    I mean she didn't scream it but I feel like you should be able to sense that amount of Red.

    I'm kind of getting the feeling Celestia isn't really acknowledging what Sunset is saying as much as she should.
     
  29. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    If you bothered to google the word you'd see it in multiple places.

    https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/derisorily
    https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/derisorily
    https://www.audioenglish.org/dictionary/derisorily.htm

    https://www.spellchecker.net/derisorily
    https://www.englishlearner.com/dictionary/derisorily
     
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  30. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    I did. I got the definition for derisory.
     
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