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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    If you don't need a live Red Queen, more what she knows, then would talking to her spirit be enough? So, you need a vaguely sane necromancer, who'll cooperate because they, too, want the world to go on existing?
     
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  2. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    Is Deadman on this League contact list?
     
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  3. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    Raul may actually be able to summon her spirit.

    When he went to Sunnydale he tried to summon some spirits and ask them questions.

    Though maybe Krona has some contingencies in place for that.

    He is an extremely ancient and powerful being so it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility that he can destroy souls.
     
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  4. Nervaqus987

    Nervaqus987 Versed in the lewd.

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    The Spectre doesn't exactly have the best record when it comes to Black Rings.
     
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  5. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Wrong Spectre, this would be the still living James Corrigan not the undead Crispus Allen.
     
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  6. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    Then undead Paul could summon ghosts of all those James killed to fight him and he wouldn't able to do a thing due to being rightful revenge.

    Heck some people he killed could have been caught by the law, but he just decided to kill them anyway.
     
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  7. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    The Spectre snaps his finger and Undead Paul, and his Ring, explode.
     
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  8. Matthew Frost

    Matthew Frost Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    Is there a way to read just paragon or just renegade versions, or do I just have to deal with your schizophrenic writing?
     
  9. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    In my schizophrenic story you're stuck with my schizophrenic writing.

    I guess you could try the radical step of scrolling past the clearly marked bits you don't want to read. That might work.
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2020
  10. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    He was a lot less powerful while still being human.
     
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  11. LurkingInTheDeceit

    LurkingInTheDeceit “Brave” Explorer treading “new” land

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    Is it weird that I just started reading your writing at some point, not reading the start of any of your SI’s timelines, and I’m doing fine/enjoying myself? It jumps around from one timeline I know nothing about to another I’ve seen a bit of before, but I don’t really feel the need to catch up for some reason? It might have something to do with how I consume fanfiction, in that I’ve not experienced the original setting outside of that fic, so I enjoy what I can and accept what I don’t know.

    Tangent, carry on don’t mind me.
     
  12. Coda

    Coda Not too sore, are you?

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    breached

    Well this can't end well...
     
  13. Idkusername

    Idkusername Not too sore, are you?

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    I’m pretty sure he’s a troll, despite joining since 2018 he has only 2 comments, both on this story. His first comment is, and I quote, ‘what is this nonsense’ in May of last year after the Sybarite update.

    I’m not sure why I spent the effort to check, but eh.

    Nah, see, containment refers to a OC nudist superhero forced to wear breeches by his peers. If anything, it should have been ‘Containment’.
     
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  14. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you.

    And now it's pony time again!
     
  15. Threadmarks: Duplication (supplementary, Renegade option)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    2nd April 2012
    14:04 GMT -6


    Luna stares blankly at the panorama visible from her balcony. Looking closely, I can see her mouth moving as she mutters to herself.

    "…knock on effect of government spending artificially inflating demand, preventing the self-correcting function of the market place, and in the longer term..."

    Maybe… Jean put in a bit too much.

    "Luna?"

    She doesn't look around. Her ears don't even flick, and I thought that was an involuntary action.

    I walk closer, waiting for the sound of my hooves against the stone to provoke a response.



    No… Doesn't appear to be happening. Hm. I don't want to stomp, because this stupid city is still perched on the side of a mountain, but… I prance a little in place.

    Nothing.

    "Luna, you alright? It wasn't… Too much for you?"

    "…study has shown that the cost to the state of rehabilitation is in the longer term less than the cost of pure confinement…"



    She sounds fine.

    Hm. I look around, but the guards who brought me here appear to have either been ordered to wait outside or were so unnerved at seeing an alicorn like this that they retreated to somewhere where they wouldn't have to watch it.

    [​IMG]

    I trot forwards until I'm standing over her unresponsive body, then tilt my head slightly forwards and lick the tip of her horn.

    "Uh?"

    Tastes like… Keratin. I lick it again, just in case I'm missing-.

    "We knowst not precisely what you are doing, but We will thank you to stop."

    I withdraw my tongue, looking down as Luna looks up at me. "Back with us?"

    "What do you mean?"

    "You were staring into space and muttering to yourself."

    She rolls her eyes. "We were doing no such-." She blinks, looking up at the sun. "Why hath the sun moved?"

    "No, no, see, for questions like that, you want the big white pony. You might have met her, actually, she's got a giant sun on-."

    "We know perfectly well who it is that moves the sun, dalcop. We have-. Didst We really lose so much time?"

    "Yeah, and I think Jean'll have to come back another day. You're not supposed to space out like that. I tried speaking to get your attention and it didn't work."

    "But why didst you lick Our-." She starts to smirk. "Did you think it was… Sensitive?"

    I look away. "Might have."

    "Hah! Your ignorance of pony physiology may prove your undoing. Didst you not remember when our horns clashed in mortal combat? Didst you feel any great erotic sensation-"

    "Yes."

    "-then from your horn?"

    "No, b-"

    "Then why didst you think that We would?"

    "-uuuut, I thought that might have been because you were using combat magic and I wasn't usually a pony." I bend my legs slightly, the fur of my unarmoured belly just brushing the fur of her back. "So where should I lick?"

    "To create a sudden shock, We recommend the ears."

    "Ok-."

    Her eyes narrow. "Try it with Us and We shall see if your ardour remains after being hurled from a mountain."

    I bend my neck to the right and lower my head until my muzzle is level with her ear.

    "What happens if the answer is 'yes'?"

    Her horn glows midnight blue and she discorporates, turning into shadows before flowing out from under me and recorporating.

    "Little."

    "It's not that l-."

    "Are you here for a reason, or do you merely wish to vex Us?"

    "Checking that the session went alright. I also want to introduce you to my eldest." She tenses slightly. "I mentioned-?"

    "Yes, you… Did. The daughter who can read minds."

    "That's her. Don't worry, she's done the full telepathic ethics course. And we both know that you go into people's dreams without prior consent, so don't be a hypocrite."

    "You-?" She shakes her head. "Yes, We are prepared to meet her."

    I turn towards the door. "Lynne!"

    The door opens a little, Lynne's muzzle poking a short distance through. Then she shoves, the door opening fully and displaying her to Luna.

    Lynne is a short alicorn, smaller even than Twilight Sparkle. Her mane and tail are jet black, while her pelt is a grey a shade or two lighter than my own. Her cutie mark is near-identical to my own as well, the only difference being that the axe blade is slightly larger and has a Ψ character on the side as decoration. I.. think I expected her pelt to be white as a reference to her Justice League Animated costume, but she hasn't ever actually worn something like that. And this could well be a result of my soul donation.

    Lynne awkwardly genuflects, bending her front legs and lowering her head.

    **Good afternoon, Princess Luna.**

    "Greetings, Llyn." Luna smiles, and trots closer. "We are pleased to meet you. We-." She cocks her head to the side. "Didst you just speak to Our mind?"

    **Daddy has his rings to translate for him. I have to connect to your mind to understand what you're saying.**

    "We see." Luna considers, and appears to accept that.

    I was planning to ask Sunset about dubbing her knowledge of the language, but she was in such a state after yesterday that I didn't want to push-

    "OOF."

    -things.

    The three of us turn to see the dirt-encrusted form of Sunset Shimmer laying on the balcony, struggling to climb back to her hooves.

    "Sunset? What are you doing?"

    "Oh." Legs trembling, she regains quadrupedalism. "Hey Grayven. I think I'm studying earth pony magic."

    "You.. think..?"

    She takes a deep breath. "It's a challenging teaching st-"

    A boulder slams down on the balcony from above, shearing it from the face of the palace!

    "-yle!"
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2020
  16. Citizen

    Citizen Experienced.

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    Sunset, I think you mean 'this style totally ROCKS!'


    ...I'll see myself out.
     
  17. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    Think Luna said Lynne's name incorrectly, unless she didn't know how to pronounce it that is.

    What is that other symbol near Lynne's cutie mark and what does it mean?

    Now all we have to do is wait for Maud............................................................. HURRY UP AND SHOW HER ALREADY.
     
  18. GamingPizza1998

    GamingPizza1998 Verified Pizza

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    WHY BONER.... but yeah that was both cute and funny.
     
  19. TheMidnightRook

    TheMidnightRook Not too sore, are you?

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    You mean it isn't? Fimfiction.net's been lying to me!
     
  20. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Reminds me of Toph's earthbending teacher style.

    Lynne is cute pony!

    Grayven is such a good daddy he got his daughter (turned into) a magic pony!
     
  21. Akatsunami

    Akatsunami Know what you're doing yet?

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    So what you mean is that ponies are insensitive on their horny areas huh?

    Well, that does explain a lot actually.
     
  22. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Woof, looks like she's getting a little overwhelmed by information?

    Boy, she is really lost in thought...

    Yeah, this is more than simply being lost in thought... Too much info downloaded too fast?

    Oh, that's not even a double entendre...

    Sarcasm doesn't really come across in your own head, Grayven...

    Heh. Either way, time for some... Totally not naughty fun.
    Lewd! Usually you don't give Horn-jobs until at least the third date!

    Now, embarrassed or annoyed? Or perhaps both?

    "And not in the enjoyable way. Totally in a trance..."

    Wow, she must have really been deep. Good thing ponies can't get sunburn... Easily...

    Definitely need to fine-tune the process, get the gremlins out of it...

    What?! Rule 34 has lied to the internet!

    Because of course he was enjoying himself...

    Hey, it pays to learn your partner's favourite places. Being able to make her knees weak with little more than a kiss pays off.

    Ah, she already knows him so well. This relationship has potential...

    Oh, my. Well, the Venom Buster he used does give super-durability, and that's only enhanced by his Godhead...

    And she's not talking about his body...

    "Well, the latter I can do at any time. Why not while attending to business?"

    And I wonder if that got translated into magic or not...

    Brave pony. This could be scarier than facing down Tirek...

    Adorably cautious. Squeeing at the ready!

    Interesting. I take it that sharing part of his soul helped pour her into a Him-shaped pony form. And for reference: Her Cutie mark's symbol is a Facses, same as Grayven, with the greek letter Psi as a chaser. How appropriate...

    Huh, straight to telepathy. Then again, she does lack the power ring translation ability.

    Heh, thought so. And I doubt she can upload the pony language quite as easily as a G-Nome could...

    Good move. Better to let her settle into her new body and powers first.

    Getting used to her wings, I see... Might want to ask Lightning Dust for lessons...

    "...I wasn't aware it allowed you to fly... Or was that a leap gone wrong?"

    Not that tough, surely?

    ...Okay. Someone needs a lesson in the durability of local architecture. This is not the sort of thing you should be doing here!

    Ah, Lynne's a cutie. And to point out: The symbol on her Cutie Mark is the Greek letter Psi. As in psionic. It was kind of spoiled if you read the unused parts Mr Zoat posted a couple of days back...
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2020
  23. AidanMorgan

    AidanMorgan Only Mostly Mad

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    Honestly I thought he was just trying to do something that would inject so much concentrated "huh" that Luna stopped staring into space.
     
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  24. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    That's the greek letter Psi, and amongst other things, as a symbol it can mean:

    Psychology, psychiatry, and sometimes parapsychology (involving paranormal or relating with the supernatural subjects, especially research into extrasensory perception). Which would make sense given her studies, and history.
    or
    A sai, the name of which is pronounced the same way. Which links her to the ninja turtle Raphael, which is more awesome..
     
  25. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    Hey Zoat did Hades get those visitation rights from the angels so that souls in his afterlife can visit and meet with souls in Heaven?

    Aside from that what else did he demand from them, like did he demand his priestesses be healed of the burns they inflicted on her when she tried to speak to the souls of Heaven?
     
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  26. Fellow

    Fellow Getting out there.

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    Did you just molest Luna?
     
  27. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Technically no, imagine if someone walked up to you and licked your fingernail
     
  28. AidanMorgan

    AidanMorgan Only Mostly Mad

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    I think that counts.
     
  29. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Yeah, that counts. It's kinda amusing as a mental image though.
     
  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No.
    No. Those injuries have long since healed.
     
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