Fagging (part 3)
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Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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September 27th, 2013
15:21 MST
Argent, right now
It's not like I wanna stare at Ian's… Face, but… C'm on. A girl can only stare at a queue of people doing nothing for so long.
And then he notices. "Yeah?"
Ah… Oh, he's got a badge on his belt. Ask about that.
I point to it. "Are you.. actually a police officer?"
"Kind of." He goes back to watching the crowd.
"'cause I thought we all… Under eighteen? Hunter can't be more than fourteen and I think Toyman's, like, twelve."
"Uh. I'm eighteen. Sort of."
"What'd you mean, 'sort of'?"
"I spend fourteen months in a coma after my accident. So I've only actually 'lived' seventeen years. Or bit less if you count the all time I was in hospital."
"Oh." I thought-. Or he.. didn't actually say… "I just kinda assumed that Doctor Schadel started working on you right after, or… Nearly right after."
He snorts, which… Sounds all kinds a' weird. "Had you heard of him?"
"Ah… No."
"Neither had my parents. Neither had the doctors. Janus Senior had to find me. Them."
"How did you-?" Maybe I shouldn't-. "I mean, are you okay talking about this?"
"Last year I'd have been boasting about it."
"It's just… I'm trying ta think of a way a car and a bunch a' shotgun shells could mess your head up so much that the doc had ta remove your head… And… Yeah, I could see it, but I don't see how your brain would make it through that in one piece."
"It didn't."
"… Oh. I mean… Did… Doctor Schadel fix that, too..?"
"The left and right sides of the brain copy a lot of stuff from each other. The Doc grew replacement parts, and… I don't think my personality changed all that much, and I was in a coma for a year."
"Where is it?"
He reaches up and pats the skin between his shoulders. "There. It's… Well, they showed me a picture, and it looks different to a normal human brain. The other parts of my body aren't.. enough like normal human body parts for a normal brain to be able to handle them."
"Huh." And I nod, because that makes sense and I don't want to.. make him feel bad because he freaked me out. Uh, change the subject, change the subject… "And you joined the police?"
"Huh?"
He looks around the crowds again. He doesn't look like all the people staring bother him. It-. Bothers me sometimes. But it happened while everyone else was Anti-Lifed, and then everyone I actually knew just kind of accepted it because they'd already seen it when they had bigger problems. Some living statues paint themselves silver… Maybe people think that's what I've done?
"The police. Your badge?"
"Oh. Well, Aberrance is built on land the Department of Energy used to own."
"How come?"
"Er… It's where they used to do nuclear testing. But they weren't using it when Damian Kane showed everyone what the army was doing with the second generation, so the Un-Men got given it."
"Isn't it radioactive?"
"Not really. Radiation doesn't stick around forever, and Un-Men are… Tough. The stuff Arcane did to make our bodies work at all tends to ignore things. I don't think any Un-Man has ever caught a normal disease. Damian Kane turned into cancer because the stuff that made his body work broke down, not because of radiation." He looks around the crowd again. "Anyway. Aberrance is in Nevada, but it's not really part of Nevada. It's like an Indian reservation, for us. Or like Disney World in Florida. Law's not the same."
"So you are a policeman, or you're not?"
"I mean, legally, there's no real difference between park security and police. Uncorporation can make anyone they want a police officer. And… Because I was a metahuman anyway, there was a plan to… Make me the official superhero of Aberrance. So some strings got pulled and I'm technically a Special Agent of the Department of Energy."
"I didn't even know the Department of Energy had Special Agents?"
"I can't arrest anyone unless they're in Aberrance or they're stealing a nuke. And like I said, it's a technical thing. I'm not supposed to actually do anything with it, it's just supposed to make things legally easier when I'm out being a superhero."
"Can I get in on that?"
"Uh, you're not an Aberrance-resident or an Un-Man." Oh. "And… You'll probably get some sort of I.D. from the Justice League, and… That's gunna do way more than a badge that says I'm an agent as long as I don't try to be an agent."
"I guess…" I don't actually know what powers the Justice League has. I kinda assumed that they just… Handed people over to the police, but I guess they are… Kind of official… But they don't have a jail or a prison, so I guess they just drag people somewhere..? I'll ask Orange Lantern when he comes back. "So are you actually..? Trained..?"
"Not fully. But this part's easy."
"What part?" I look around at the exact same crowds. "We're not doing anything."
He shakes his torso. "We're not here to catch anyone doing anything. If we do, that's fine, but it's better if we don't."
"Huh?"
"We're here so anyone who might think of acting up doesn't. And to reassure people. You know, prevent crime. And maybe pose with the tourists."
"… Oh. So… We're just walking around?"
"Yeah, basically. You decided what you want your costume to look like yet?"
I sigh. Because I haven't. I don't know anything about armor, and I can't really hide who I am unless I wear something that covers me up completely. And then I'd just need to get a little tear and, oh look! The mysterious vigilante has silver skin! Who can they be?!
My other idea was just kind of a swimsuit thing, but that woulda made me look like a stripper.
"No. You?"
"I've got less area to work with. I can't cover my-" He gestures to his chest-face. "-face, and there's not a lot you can do with pants."
"I guess you can't really wear body armor, either."
"I was thinking about getting a helmet, just because it would be funny."
How would he-? That-?
"Yeah." He grins. "You're thinking about it now, aren't you?"
I chuckle. "Alright. Uh, so, other than walking around, is there anything we're supposed to be doing?"
"Look out for anything odd. Anything that's unusual. People usually act odd when they're up to something. Not always, sometimes they're just had some bad news or something-"
I take another look at the crowd, and… Huh.
"-and then-."
"A lot of them are wearing hats." He stops talking and takes another look himself. "Is that something I should watch out for, or is that common wherever the portal's going at the moment?"
15:21 MST
Argent, right now
It's not like I wanna stare at Ian's… Face, but… C'm on. A girl can only stare at a queue of people doing nothing for so long.
And then he notices. "Yeah?"
Ah… Oh, he's got a badge on his belt. Ask about that.
I point to it. "Are you.. actually a police officer?"
"Kind of." He goes back to watching the crowd.
"'cause I thought we all… Under eighteen? Hunter can't be more than fourteen and I think Toyman's, like, twelve."
"Uh. I'm eighteen. Sort of."
"What'd you mean, 'sort of'?"
"I spend fourteen months in a coma after my accident. So I've only actually 'lived' seventeen years. Or bit less if you count the all time I was in hospital."
"Oh." I thought-. Or he.. didn't actually say… "I just kinda assumed that Doctor Schadel started working on you right after, or… Nearly right after."
He snorts, which… Sounds all kinds a' weird. "Had you heard of him?"
"Ah… No."
"Neither had my parents. Neither had the doctors. Janus Senior had to find me. Them."
"How did you-?" Maybe I shouldn't-. "I mean, are you okay talking about this?"
"Last year I'd have been boasting about it."
"It's just… I'm trying ta think of a way a car and a bunch a' shotgun shells could mess your head up so much that the doc had ta remove your head… And… Yeah, I could see it, but I don't see how your brain would make it through that in one piece."
"It didn't."
"… Oh. I mean… Did… Doctor Schadel fix that, too..?"
"The left and right sides of the brain copy a lot of stuff from each other. The Doc grew replacement parts, and… I don't think my personality changed all that much, and I was in a coma for a year."
"Where is it?"
He reaches up and pats the skin between his shoulders. "There. It's… Well, they showed me a picture, and it looks different to a normal human brain. The other parts of my body aren't.. enough like normal human body parts for a normal brain to be able to handle them."
"Huh." And I nod, because that makes sense and I don't want to.. make him feel bad because he freaked me out. Uh, change the subject, change the subject… "And you joined the police?"
"Huh?"
He looks around the crowds again. He doesn't look like all the people staring bother him. It-. Bothers me sometimes. But it happened while everyone else was Anti-Lifed, and then everyone I actually knew just kind of accepted it because they'd already seen it when they had bigger problems. Some living statues paint themselves silver… Maybe people think that's what I've done?
"The police. Your badge?"
"Oh. Well, Aberrance is built on land the Department of Energy used to own."
"How come?"
"Er… It's where they used to do nuclear testing. But they weren't using it when Damian Kane showed everyone what the army was doing with the second generation, so the Un-Men got given it."
"Isn't it radioactive?"
"Not really. Radiation doesn't stick around forever, and Un-Men are… Tough. The stuff Arcane did to make our bodies work at all tends to ignore things. I don't think any Un-Man has ever caught a normal disease. Damian Kane turned into cancer because the stuff that made his body work broke down, not because of radiation." He looks around the crowd again. "Anyway. Aberrance is in Nevada, but it's not really part of Nevada. It's like an Indian reservation, for us. Or like Disney World in Florida. Law's not the same."
"So you are a policeman, or you're not?"
"I mean, legally, there's no real difference between park security and police. Uncorporation can make anyone they want a police officer. And… Because I was a metahuman anyway, there was a plan to… Make me the official superhero of Aberrance. So some strings got pulled and I'm technically a Special Agent of the Department of Energy."
"I didn't even know the Department of Energy had Special Agents?"
"I can't arrest anyone unless they're in Aberrance or they're stealing a nuke. And like I said, it's a technical thing. I'm not supposed to actually do anything with it, it's just supposed to make things legally easier when I'm out being a superhero."
"Can I get in on that?"
"Uh, you're not an Aberrance-resident or an Un-Man." Oh. "And… You'll probably get some sort of I.D. from the Justice League, and… That's gunna do way more than a badge that says I'm an agent as long as I don't try to be an agent."
"I guess…" I don't actually know what powers the Justice League has. I kinda assumed that they just… Handed people over to the police, but I guess they are… Kind of official… But they don't have a jail or a prison, so I guess they just drag people somewhere..? I'll ask Orange Lantern when he comes back. "So are you actually..? Trained..?"
"Not fully. But this part's easy."
"What part?" I look around at the exact same crowds. "We're not doing anything."
He shakes his torso. "We're not here to catch anyone doing anything. If we do, that's fine, but it's better if we don't."
"Huh?"
"We're here so anyone who might think of acting up doesn't. And to reassure people. You know, prevent crime. And maybe pose with the tourists."
"… Oh. So… We're just walking around?"
"Yeah, basically. You decided what you want your costume to look like yet?"
I sigh. Because I haven't. I don't know anything about armor, and I can't really hide who I am unless I wear something that covers me up completely. And then I'd just need to get a little tear and, oh look! The mysterious vigilante has silver skin! Who can they be?!
My other idea was just kind of a swimsuit thing, but that woulda made me look like a stripper.
"No. You?"
"I've got less area to work with. I can't cover my-" He gestures to his chest-face. "-face, and there's not a lot you can do with pants."
"I guess you can't really wear body armor, either."
"I was thinking about getting a helmet, just because it would be funny."
How would he-? That-?
"Yeah." He grins. "You're thinking about it now, aren't you?"
I chuckle. "Alright. Uh, so, other than walking around, is there anything we're supposed to be doing?"
"Look out for anything odd. Anything that's unusual. People usually act odd when they're up to something. Not always, sometimes they're just had some bad news or something-"
I take another look at the crowd, and… Huh.
"-and then-."
"A lot of them are wearing hats." He stops talking and takes another look himself. "Is that something I should watch out for, or is that common wherever the portal's going at the moment?"
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