Ricrod
Mental Out victim
- Joined
- May 28, 2017
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- 601
Hahaha
Ouch. Poor Sasaki, passed from being the REGEND and Savior of France to... Ryuga
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My Light Novel Isekai Story is Stressful As Expected (Eiyuu Senki Friend Insert ft. NekoNekoBoy)
- Thread starter Alexander
- Start date
Hahaha
Ouch. Poor Sasaki, passed from being the REGEND and Savior of France to... Ryuga
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2015
- Messages
- 1,088
Hey for all you know, Ryuga saved France.
He was just really confused on why there were dragons in Brazil.
EmpirePlayer
Anyone need some chaos?
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2014
- Messages
- 1,193
Yeah, my first impression of Eiyuu Senki Nobunaga kinda feels like a downgrade after knowing the various other R63 Nobus around, let alone NOBUNAGA THE ROCK AND ROLL or even Demon Archer. And that was when I played ES before Demon Archer was in F/GO.
Although I guess the Round Table is ok, if only because this is the only time I remember seeing a full Round Table in Japanese fiction, let alone a genderbent Round Table.
GIMME MORE GENDERBENT ROUND TABLE KNIGHTS, FICTION.
Ahem. Anyways, eagerly awaiting Chen's reaction when Arthur visits. And Chen's face when he learns how Percival took lessons from that Monty Python rabbit to heart.
Although I hope Chen can actually manage to recruit everyone. Would be a shame if Chen doesn't recruit some gems like Marco Polo (who comes with an obligatory ladykiller Kubalai) if things get too sour.
Basically, I hope things stay to the original tone of the game.
GIMME MORE GENDERBENT ROUND TABLE KNIGHTS, FICTION.
Ahem. Anyways, eagerly awaiting Chen's reaction when Arthur visits. And Chen's face when he learns how Percival took lessons from that Monty Python rabbit to heart.
Although I hope Chen can actually manage to recruit everyone. Would be a shame if Chen doesn't recruit some gems like Marco Polo (who comes with an obligatory ladykiller Kubalai) if things get too sour.
Basically, I hope things stay to the original tone of the game.
EvaUnit01
The man who stands at the top of AAWWEESSOOOMEEE
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2013
- Messages
- 2,908
I actually don't like Nasu!Nobunaga either.
Other than the historical Nobunaga, my favorite version is the one from Samurai Warriors.
Alexander
That is not dead which can eternal lie
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2013
- Messages
- 12,374
I must agree here, ES!Nobunaga is a bit of a letdown compared to its other incarnations. Oh well, nothing's perfect.
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2015
- Messages
- 1,088
...Dammit all, there's a joke here somewhere.
Chapter 21: God Save The Queen
Alexander
That is not dead which can eternal lie
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2013
- Messages
- 12,374
Chapter 21: God Save The Queen
====
All of us heroes had crowded around the command table at the request of Himiko, unfortunately… there was a small problem with that.
This was the Yamatai meeting room, even if It had been rebuilt. In other words, this room was still small.
"Now then, I'd like to begin the very first official meeting of the Zipang Army." Himiko began, standing up and speaking clearly to have everyone's attention. "Now that we're achieved unification and the reconstruction of Yamatai is complete, we've gained some new allies. In order to avoid confusion, we should elect a new supreme commander."
"It's just gonna be you, isn't it?" NobuNobu remarked. "You don't have to be so formal, we already know."
"A more suitable candidate has arrived." She replied instead of confirming the other girl's words. "I intend to yield my seat to him."
Then she turned to face me and smiled. "Onii-san, please lead us well from here on out."
I stared, I stared real hard .
"The Kusanagi… The one who can use that sword must be the King of Zipang. Please lead us."
I kept staring as everyone began to start growing impatient as far as I could tell.
"..." Even Himiko began to fidget. "...Onii-san, you're Zipang's supreme commander now. Pretty please?"
"Whaaaaaat." I said flatly. "Okay, um, Himiko? Himiko look at yourself. Now look at me. Ask yourself, is this really a good idea?"
"Honestly? I have my doubts." Sei snorted in amusement at Himiko's words. "But the sword 'chooses' its user. By tradition, unless one of us can draw the sword you're the one and only legitimate candidate."
"...So that's your decision then." Yoshi spoke with her usual cool. "Chen-san. Having the wielder of the Kusanagi not being the King would cause an uproar among the people."
"I'm annoyed that you made such a reasonable proposal, but I'll support it. He's certainly a better option than you, Himiko." NobuNobu added with sarcasm.
"Benkei doesn't really understand, but okaaay."
"No objections here." Tama added.
"It's fine, isn't it? Let's take things nice and easy." Sei replied in a carefree manner.
"The Kusanagi's judgment is absolute." Maragi stated.
"I am a simple student of the sword, so I'll defer to the majority." Was Sasaki's reply.
Himiko smiled. "Then it's unanimous!"
I sighed.
Fucking hell I'm in charge of a country now?
With a smooth motion of my hands the Kusanagi was in front of my eyes. It's clear edge reflecting back towards me as I glared at it hard. "You know? Sometimes I hate yo- OW! Fuck you too!"
And with another quick move I jammed it back into the sheath. "Asshole of a sword…"
"Fascinating. I have heard the Kusanagi possessed a sort of sentience, but this is the first time I witness it with my own eyes…" I heard Magari mutter.
"If It's you, Onii-san, it will be alright." Himiko tried to reassure me. "We'll support you with whatever you need."
"You should stand at the helm of the Zipang Army." Yoshi smiled. "Let us help with all the hard work."
"And you've got authority as the Servant of Heaven too." NobuNobu grinned. "We're counting on you."
You know, now that I think about it, do I count as the Servant of Heaven when there is no Heaven? I mean I was certainly the Servant of Man but still.
Wait crap that makes me sound like I'm Jesus.
"Honesty…" The word escaped from my lips before I even realized it. "I still think you're putting your faith in the wrong person. But there's no getting out of it is there? If I try to decline Kusanagi would probably set me on fire and I'd have to deal with Himiko."
"H-Hey! What is that supposed to mean?!" The girl in question stammered.
"There is a reason you never get high-fives and you know exactly what it is!"
"Y-You're still angry with that?! Look, I said I am sorry!" She protested. "I'm not making plans to make people do what I want with subtle blackmail and guilt trips anymore anyway!"
"Anymore?!"
"I'm sorry, I misspoke. What I meant, is that I have never thought about doing such dastardly things in my life." She stated with utter seriousness.
"How far do your dark plans go?!" I exclaimed in the same amount of seriousness. "Is this why NobuNobu is so much NobuNobu?! How much havoc have you wrecked upon the world?!"
"...I am already regretting this." NobuNobu said, expression utterly blank.
"Alright, please stop this." Yoshi gently chided us. "From here on out, we'll work to expand our territory and advance on the continent. We have to start with a country close to us. It would be a mistake to attack without the right intelligence."
"That would be East Asia. Am I right, Lady Yoshitsune?" Tama asked.
"That's correct. Due to the disorders in Zipang until now we don't know the current situation of the continent, or the state of the sea routes. To remedy that, we will need to send a survey group."
"...Wait," I blinked. "Is East Asia a country or just the area?"
"The area." Tama explained. "The whole Asian continent is huge, so it's commonly divided into East Asia and West Asia."
"I figured it would become necessary eventually, so I prepared ahead of time." Smiling smugly NobuNobu took out a box and opened it, revealing… an honest-to-god crystal ball. "Those are called Communication Stones. It allows you to communicate over any distance. Communications can't be intercepted and it never runs out of energy. I spent a fortune for them!"
Westaboo.
"I'm not even going to question how that works because the answer is most likely fucking magic." I sighed. "Okay so, communication stone, what now? We decide who goes on the scouting ship?"
Before someone could answer me Himiko stood up in shock. "C-Communication Stones are absurdly valuable though! How did you manage to get so many of them?"
"They're cheaper if you order in bulk." Yoshi informed her. "If you want to know more, you should ask Nobunaga."
"Nobunaga, what on earth are you ordering?! Zipang doesn't have the surplus to spend this kind of money!"
"I discussed it with Yoshitsune and ordered them after fixing all your sloppy accounting. I didn't order enough to put any pressure on us. Don't lump me in with you." You could almost literally taste the smugness.
"But...But even so, this might be a bit much…"
"We can't have too many if we're aiming for world conquest." Was her sharp reply. "They'll become even more necessary as we expand our territory."
"I have heard that Communication Stones are both valuable and rare. Lady Nobunaga, where did you find so many?" Tama asked.
"Simple, I used Amasson."
"Pfft!" What?! "You used what?!"
"A trading company in South America. There are branches all over the world, and they deal in any type of goods. However tiny the country, just put in an order and they'll bring it to you." She explained. "As far as service companies go, this is the biggest and most convenient. Just press a button to place an order. If you've got something you need too, order it now."
"Uh, no thanks." I mumbled, stepping away a bit. "R-Right! Just going to ignore that… What's next?"
"Tadataka-san will, of course, be in charge of the survey group." Yoshi said, to which Tama nodded with pride. "But one of us should accompany her in case there are troubles."
Okay so how about-
"In that case, I would like to volunteer myself." Sasaki spoke. "As the most recent addition to the army, I wish to demonstrate I can pull my own weight."
"Damn, beat me to it." I grumbled. "Right yeah, my full support on this. Go ahead."
====
ì
After their departure I received news of Tama and Sasaki a mere week afterwards. Specifically, when the small girl rushed inside the meeting room after being hastily announced, followed by a composed and calm Sasaki. "My Lord! Emergency! A large fleet of enemy ships are approaching Zipang!"
"Wait what?!" I shouted, standing up from my seat. "What the hell did you guys do?!"
"Nothing! I swear it!" Tama defended herself. "We were in the middle of our navigation when we spotted a fleet without clear affiliation. When they saw us they sent a few ships to attack without even a warning!"
"I sunk the ships that tried to board us, but there were too many of them so we were forced to retreat." Sasaki finished.
"Gah! FUCKING PIRATES!" My body practically slammed the door open as I began to run through the hallways, Tama and Sasaki following shortly behind me. "Send the order! We're preparing for battle so get all ships we have ready, got it?! And tell all the heroes to meet me down at the docks!"
====
Now you're probably expecting a grand battle against pirates after a little declaration like that right? Two ships fighting both the oceans and each other, the sounds of cannon fire blasting off into the air?
Well sorry to say…
"We're never going to speak of that again." I mumbled as my feet touched the docks once more. "You hear me? Never again!"
Nothing happened. NOTHING!
"Onii-san, I can understand if you're disappointed…" Himiko began, but a hand on her shoulder and a shaking of head from Yoshi dissuaded her from continuing.
"Better to drop it." Then her expression turned pensive. "No banners, no evident affiliation, and they escaped north after a short skirmish...however you see it, that's strange behavior."
"There's a big chance they'll attack again. The only way to get rid of them is to find their base and strike at them there." Nobunaga proposed.
"Okay yeah but like, who are they?" I asked. "We know nothing about them. Unless one of happend to follow them or something."
"I'm confident I can find them with enough time." Tama said. "The problem is how to search around without being attacked."
"Oh! I know! I know!" Himiko jumped up and down. "It's finally time for the priestess to fulfill her duty. I'll call forth the Divine Wind and drive the pirates away, so that Tadataka-san can find their hideout."
"You can do that?"
"It's a ritual that those in Himiko family had used often in the past to protect the country." Yoshi explained. "Though, are you sure you can do it Himiko? It's not easy to perform it…"
"It'll be fine! Mother managed it for the first time when she was my own age, I cannot fall behind!" She boasted.
I started to have very serious doubts on the whole thing when, later on, Himiko began to chant a bizarre prayer while standing in a circle made from a cross with garlic, a clay figurine with a tortoise shell and, since she forgot some kind of crystal, a random shiny rock found on the beach. "Divine wind! Oh Divine Wind! Drive away the invaders!! Amen! Namu Myoho Renge Kyo… Please cleanse and purify our land…"
"Were those even real words?" I mumbled as I watched the whole shebang.
"In this kind of ritual, feelings are more important than implementation." Even Sei seemed a bit worried. "Though, with that kind of setup, it would not surprise me if Himiko ends up cursing the pirates to death."
"I… I mean that's bad but would it be a problem?" I mumbled, putting my hand to my chin. "Wait no we need to find out the mystery behind them."
"If this isn't enough already, I'll really put some feeling into it! Some god somewhere must be willing to help!" She began to wave her stick even harder. "Grant me the strength to help Onii-san and everyone...Grant me the strength to help Onii-san and everyone…"
EMIYA if you pull some bullshit I swear you won't be just the positive side of humanity anymore.
Obviously he didn't take my threat seriously, because as Himiko continued chanting the wind picked up, growing stronger and stronger until there was a literal, fuck-huge storm forming far away on the sea. The only saving grace was that it was visibly moving away from Zipang, and in the direction the pirates' main fleet escaped to.
"Did we really need that?!" I yelled at the sea. "How fucking long were you waiting to summon a storm!?"
Nobody answered. In fact, the others were giving me funny looks.
"Stupid smug bastard…" I grumbled. "Nice job Himiko."
"Eh eh. Thank you Onii-san." She smiled while still waving her stick. "But please don't insult the god that answered, they may change idea and send the storm back to us."
"Don't worry, me and him got a deal going on." I waved my hand. "Also what God?"
"Uhm...No idea. Let's just call him Benevolent God-sama." Himiko decided.
"Hahaha…" I chuckled. "It's nice that you think that."
====
Soon, and I'm not even sure why I'm surprised, Tama managed to locate their base. But like…
"How." I mumbled once more as I stared at the tiny woman. The ship rocked underneath our feat as the cool sea breeze whipped against my face. "How?"
"It was, quite literally, a case of exceptional good luck." She adjusted her glasses and began explaining. "After the storm Lady Himiko conjured was sufficiently far away to safely sail I began my investigation of the recorded bays and islands around Zipang that could house a fleet of those dimensions. In doing so I overheard a few sailors commenting how the storm was behaving strangely, moving in different directions than one would expect. So, after it stopped over a certain coastline for a few days before finally ending I decided to investigate it."
She gestured to the fleet anchored around said coastline. "And that's what I found."
"...For some reason that sounds complicated but at the same time strangely simple." I commented before shaking my head. "Must be my imagination."
"We finally found them...Today's the day we show them a thing or two!" Himiko said with determination.
"It looks like they know we're here." Yoshi commented. "Well, it was impossible to come close without being spotted. Their ships have taken considerable damage, but they still outnumber us…"
The pony-tailed girl thought for a moment before looking at Sei. "Seimei, can you do something about it?"
"Mmh? If it's Yoshitsune asking it, I guess I can." She took out a paper strp, four paper dolls floating around her. "Magoroku, can you do your thing?"
"As you wish, Lady Abe." Setting down like a cane her giant pair of pliers Maragi raised her right hand, palm up, and closed her eyes in concentration. A sparkling flame, like that of a forge, appeared above her palm before she brought it closer to Sei, where it was absorbed by the blonde's body.
Immediately the aura I associate with accumulated Brave appeared around Sei's body, strong enough to be visible with the naked eye. Unlike mine, which is really just my surroundings being set on fire, this looked like actual energy. The flow of weird magic shit spreading from her body gave her an enchanting light that could never be unseen.
It was… kinda cool.
Sei clapped her palms together in some sort of hand gesture, the paper strip held between two fingers. Then she started chanting: "On the East, the Azure Dragon Seiryu. On the South, the Vermilion Bird Suzaku. On the West, the White Tiger Byakko. On the North, the Black Turtle Genbu."
The four paper dolls began to spin around her faster and faster, changing into energy-based forms of the four creatures Sei was referencing.
"Converge. Then, collapse." She winked, a mischievous grin on her lips, before thrusting her hands forward. "Grand Cross!"
The four creatures, still spinning in a cross formation, shot forward in the direction of the enemy fleet, until they couldn't be seen anymore.
A second later a giant cross-shaped explosion went off right in the middle of the fleet, sinking most of the ships caught in the radius and leaving the rest a smoking mess.
Before I had even realized it my hands were clapping as slowly as I could, eyes wide open. "Holy fucking shit. That's impressive."
Yoshi smiled. "There is a reason I recommended her to you."
"Yosh! Now's the time to strike!" NobuNobu raised her musket before pointing it forward. "Board those scallywags and take their stuff!"
"Yar har, fiddle di dee." I deadpanned in response, pulling the Kusanagi out of it's sheath. "Do what ya want 'cause a pirate be free."
"Wait. We're the pirates here?" Himiko asked in confusion.
"Please, ignore them." Yoshi told her.
The helmsman, hearing our words, ordered the oarsmen to row faster and pointed straight at the closer enemy ship. With the wind blowing in our favor it took less than a minute to arrive: there the bow of our ship smashed into the enemy's own, making both spin until their sides slammed against each other. Sailors waiting in preparation throw grapplers to bind the two ships together, and just like that we had a terrain for a land-based battle.
"Well," I smirked at my crew. "Plundering and lootin ahoy mateys. Who's ready to show these scallywags why you don't mess with the infamous Yamatai Crew?"
"You think we're done for?" One of the pirates from the other ship, strangely dressed on long concealing white robes, shouted back. "Crush them all!"
With a yell both crew rushed at each other, and the battle was on.
As I went along with my standard plan of 'swinging my sword at anyone in front of me' I found myself fighting next to Sasaki. The redhead was making full use of her stupidly long sword's reach, crossing weapons with swordsmen and spearmen alike. She was fast and graceful like Yoshi, but where the latter would stay nimble on her feet Sasaki moved with simple and deliberate steps, her sword moving to intercept blows and strike openings with almost supernal swiftness. It was as if she could predict the enemy's moves...or maybe she had already taken control of the flow of battle, and now the enemies could do nothing but move according to her will.
Meanwhile I… was not doing so hot.
Literally.
"WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM?!" I shouted as a bunch of pirates tried to mob me. My blade cut them in half with ease but there was still a lot of them. "THERE SHOULD NOT BE THIS MANY OF YOU! AT AL- GAH FUCKING SHANKERS!"
A surge of anger welled up inside me as TNT manifested behind me and soon the guy who had just tried to stab me with a broken sword had his head cut off with pure fire. Blood didn't even come out of the wound, he just turned to mere ash.
...Huh, so that's what happened when I hit a squishy with TNT.
"Onii-san! Don't use fire on the ship!" Himiko cried out. "Guh! There's no end to them. If this keeps up, they'll break through! There must be some way to turn the tide-Uwahh! My skirt! They got my skirt with an arrow!"
"Not looking!" I shouted as TNT vanished from the air and- NOPE FUCK YOU WELCOME TO STABVILLE POPULATION EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND LOVE! "Who the hell even are you people?! I mean, I know we came to beat you all up and steal your stuff but come on!"
Nobody answered, unless you count 'keep fighting' as their way to do so.
"More enemy ships incoming!" I heard NobuNobu yelling. Then her tone changed to disbelieving. "Wait, I recognize those banners...no way."
Through the haze of blood and mist, I saw it. The signal of the end, a holy golden light that rose up into the sky high above the clouds and pierced even the sky itself. Everyone stopped moving, all mesmerized by the enchanting beam as it came CLOSER TO US OH GOD-
For the next few seconds my world was a bright golden light, I had even shut my eyes in order to avoid being blinded and yet it still burned itself into my retinas. The wind picked up and positively exploded into my face as I struggled to stand up right in the face of the powerforce and after what seemed like a lifetime...
Slowly, I opened my eyes and looked. We were unharmed but the enemy ships? Oh the enemy ships were just gone. Like, literally, it's not like there were smoking wrecks they were just gone.
I turned to the pirate next to me as our eyes met. The same feeling passed through us then and there as we came to a mutual understanding of "What the hell just happened?"
And then I kicked him in the stomach and into the sea.
"...What?" I asked incredulously as every turned to stare at me. "We're still fighting right?"
It's not like he'd die from tha- "Gah!"
Apparently the pirates had decided to follow him as they all jumped into the ocean like a roaring flood. Me and probably the rest of the crew on the ship stared dumbstruck as, swimming perfectly with the waves, the pirates all attempted to swim as far away from us as possible. In the ocean.
"Let's be honest here, I would probably do the same if that happened to us." A soldier commented. "What in the name of the gods was that?!"
"W-What immense strength…" Himiko breathed in awe. "An enemy with such a huge force ended up completely destroyed… Someone came to our aid?"
"I recognize the banners they hoist." NobuNobu suddenly said with a grim tone. "Those ships...are from Britannia."
"...Alright, bullshit rescue for the win then." I nodded, "We aren't even anywhere near Britannia last I checked though, you think that was just some famous pirate crew and they were chasing them down or something?"
"I don't know." Yoshi mused. "Let's hope they're willing to have a peaceful meeting."
====
They did: in fact, they requested them first. So I, Himiko, Yoshi, NobuNobu and Sei went to meet their representatives.
Noble-looking knights in white armor were forming two opposing files, standing straight and proud like statues. And between them… Between them… Be.. Tween… Them…
Between them were the most gaudiest, most horrifyingly disgusting cases I have ever seen of aristocracy in my life! Three girls stood between them and the first two alone could have given me an aneurism! A purple haired girl on the left, decked out in a white and gold dress that covered absolutely no skin at all! Now, I know I walked around with someone who had no pants but at least in NobuNobu's case her armour was fucking metal! The only metal I could see where her gauntlets and the gold! The fucking gold! Do you know how weak gold is?!
Luckily on the right was the least serious offender of all, while her dress was big and poofy it was still covered by armor in the important bits like you know, her fucking guts. While she, with her flowing blue hair and her admittedly nice crystal sword, still looked gaudy as shit, she at least looked like an actual fucking guard even if her shield was literally half her size and her sword was even longer!
And then… And then there was the girl who sat in the middle of them. The ruler, for she had a crown on her head and everyone on their side was showing her respect, had flowing blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. That's about as much as I can say calmly for she looked like someo villainess out of a fucking Otome Game! She screamed, no, she roared aristocracy with her frilly white and gold dress and noble mannerisms that seemed to suggest "Oh dear heaven's just look at the time? Is it tea time?". Every single molecule in her body seemed to ooze out smug, like it was her god given right to rule over everybody else like the dolls and pigs we were. In fact, I'm pretty sure that instead of the ionic bonds that kept every other person's molecules together, her entire being was just held together by pure smug and arrogance while nobility was just woven into her DNA from the moment she was born.
Let's just say that I didn't like these people thank you very much!
Yoshi elbowed me in the side and whispered. "Please, be polite. I'll physically restrain you if I deem it necessary."
"I'm not going to stab someone just because they look like they were born barfing up gold and everyone worshiped them in response." I whispered back. "That'd be rude."
She looked at me in unreasonable skepticism before sighing. "Let's hope so."
"A pleasure to meet you for the first time." Queen Bitch greeted us with a sweet voice and an even sweeter smile, looking straight at me. It made me sick. "Please forgive us for the sudden intrusion."
"Is this about the whole pirate thing?" I asked, sitting down on the chair across from her. "Or was that just a coincidence and you were already on your way here after word of Zipang's unification reached your ears?"
"Ah, yes. Indeed, it is as you said. But I don't believe it to be mere coincidence, because love is deeper and greater than all things…"
What.
"Grrr…" Oh God, did Himiko just growl?
"And who is this lady?" Queen Bitch asked next, looking honestly puzzled. "Did she indeed just growl at me?"
Yoshi's hand clamped down on Himiko's mouth like a steel vice. "Oh, don't worry about her. She's just in her rebellious phase…" She replied with an innocent smile.
"Mumumuh!" Himiko tried, and failed, to deny the accusation.
"Ah, please be as you are." She looked back at me. "Then please, if I could ask once more, might you be the ruler of Zipang?"
"I have the sword so yes." I nodded, trying not to laugh as Himiko started to turn red.
"The sword?"
"My Queen, if I may." The blue-haired girl interjected. "I am to believe the ruler of Zipang is chosen by the will of a sacred sword, who only allows the destined ruler to take it out of its sheath."
"Ah, how fascinating." It was faint, but...was she blushing? "The patriotic hero who unified Zipang… I've been waiting for the day I might meet you…"
"Waiting for the day?" My eyebrow rose. "The unification wasn't even that long ago so imagine my surprise when a queen who lives halfway across the world has been waiting to meet me."
"I like to be informed about what happens in the world, even if it is far away. Ah, pardon the lateness of my introduction."
She stood up and performed a perfect curtesy. "My name is Arthur, Queen of Britannia."
"My name is Galahad, a knight in the service of Her Majesty Arthur." The blue-haired girl proudly proclaimed.
"Gawain. I'm the same." The purple-haired girl smiled.
"I have come now as an envoy to express Britannia's good intent." Arthur continued. "I would like to discuss the possibility of establishing friendly relations with Zipang."
"I see." I nodded, "So that's why you're here huh."
Let's see, they wanted friendly relationships, and that certainly wasn't a bad thing. From their might and their looks, they were certainly a powerhouse in some way of the word.
If we get them on our side, our economy could advanced exponentially. Or… something.
You know I'm not entirely sure how the economy works despite the fact that It's my job to make sure the economy is running. Wait no, my job is to stab people and to look semi decent, it's Yoshi's job to run the economy. I think. Should probably find out who's doing that.
Still, it was a good offer. In fact, it was a great offer. So naturally, I gave my reply.
"No."
====
Notes:
Alex: ….No?
Chen: It's counter productive. I mean, I got told by literally everyone to take over the world and while the deal might be good in the short term but in the long term? It'll get in our way.
Chen: You know (This was explained by Yoshi off screen after Inherit The Earth) how Britania goes around trying to make deals for peace? Well then every single one of those countries becomes off limits. I can't touch them, otherwise Britannia will get on our ass. And even if I avoid the countries that don't have friendly relations then Arthur's peace loving attitude will probably get in the way and ask us to stop, even threatening to take away their support from the deal. Which is a problem as by that time, we'll probably be relying on their support a whole bunch.
Chen: Long story short? They'll have us by the balls if we take that deal.
Alex: Honestly, it makes sense *frantically writes down new notes*
====
All of us heroes had crowded around the command table at the request of Himiko, unfortunately… there was a small problem with that.
This was the Yamatai meeting room, even if It had been rebuilt. In other words, this room was still small.
"Now then, I'd like to begin the very first official meeting of the Zipang Army." Himiko began, standing up and speaking clearly to have everyone's attention. "Now that we're achieved unification and the reconstruction of Yamatai is complete, we've gained some new allies. In order to avoid confusion, we should elect a new supreme commander."
"It's just gonna be you, isn't it?" NobuNobu remarked. "You don't have to be so formal, we already know."
"A more suitable candidate has arrived." She replied instead of confirming the other girl's words. "I intend to yield my seat to him."
Then she turned to face me and smiled. "Onii-san, please lead us well from here on out."
I stared, I stared real hard .
"The Kusanagi… The one who can use that sword must be the King of Zipang. Please lead us."
I kept staring as everyone began to start growing impatient as far as I could tell.
"..." Even Himiko began to fidget. "...Onii-san, you're Zipang's supreme commander now. Pretty please?"
"Whaaaaaat." I said flatly. "Okay, um, Himiko? Himiko look at yourself. Now look at me. Ask yourself, is this really a good idea?"
"Honestly? I have my doubts." Sei snorted in amusement at Himiko's words. "But the sword 'chooses' its user. By tradition, unless one of us can draw the sword you're the one and only legitimate candidate."
"...So that's your decision then." Yoshi spoke with her usual cool. "Chen-san. Having the wielder of the Kusanagi not being the King would cause an uproar among the people."
"I'm annoyed that you made such a reasonable proposal, but I'll support it. He's certainly a better option than you, Himiko." NobuNobu added with sarcasm.
"Benkei doesn't really understand, but okaaay."
"No objections here." Tama added.
"It's fine, isn't it? Let's take things nice and easy." Sei replied in a carefree manner.
"The Kusanagi's judgment is absolute." Maragi stated.
"I am a simple student of the sword, so I'll defer to the majority." Was Sasaki's reply.
Himiko smiled. "Then it's unanimous!"
I sighed.
Fucking hell I'm in charge of a country now?
With a smooth motion of my hands the Kusanagi was in front of my eyes. It's clear edge reflecting back towards me as I glared at it hard. "You know? Sometimes I hate yo- OW! Fuck you too!"
And with another quick move I jammed it back into the sheath. "Asshole of a sword…"
"Fascinating. I have heard the Kusanagi possessed a sort of sentience, but this is the first time I witness it with my own eyes…" I heard Magari mutter.
"If It's you, Onii-san, it will be alright." Himiko tried to reassure me. "We'll support you with whatever you need."
"You should stand at the helm of the Zipang Army." Yoshi smiled. "Let us help with all the hard work."
"And you've got authority as the Servant of Heaven too." NobuNobu grinned. "We're counting on you."
You know, now that I think about it, do I count as the Servant of Heaven when there is no Heaven? I mean I was certainly the Servant of Man but still.
Wait crap that makes me sound like I'm Jesus.
"Honesty…" The word escaped from my lips before I even realized it. "I still think you're putting your faith in the wrong person. But there's no getting out of it is there? If I try to decline Kusanagi would probably set me on fire and I'd have to deal with Himiko."
"H-Hey! What is that supposed to mean?!" The girl in question stammered.
"There is a reason you never get high-fives and you know exactly what it is!"
"Y-You're still angry with that?! Look, I said I am sorry!" She protested. "I'm not making plans to make people do what I want with subtle blackmail and guilt trips anymore anyway!"
"Anymore?!"
"I'm sorry, I misspoke. What I meant, is that I have never thought about doing such dastardly things in my life." She stated with utter seriousness.
"How far do your dark plans go?!" I exclaimed in the same amount of seriousness. "Is this why NobuNobu is so much NobuNobu?! How much havoc have you wrecked upon the world?!"
"...I am already regretting this." NobuNobu said, expression utterly blank.
"Alright, please stop this." Yoshi gently chided us. "From here on out, we'll work to expand our territory and advance on the continent. We have to start with a country close to us. It would be a mistake to attack without the right intelligence."
"That would be East Asia. Am I right, Lady Yoshitsune?" Tama asked.
"That's correct. Due to the disorders in Zipang until now we don't know the current situation of the continent, or the state of the sea routes. To remedy that, we will need to send a survey group."
"...Wait," I blinked. "Is East Asia a country or just the area?"
"The area." Tama explained. "The whole Asian continent is huge, so it's commonly divided into East Asia and West Asia."
"I figured it would become necessary eventually, so I prepared ahead of time." Smiling smugly NobuNobu took out a box and opened it, revealing… an honest-to-god crystal ball. "Those are called Communication Stones. It allows you to communicate over any distance. Communications can't be intercepted and it never runs out of energy. I spent a fortune for them!"
Westaboo.
"I'm not even going to question how that works because the answer is most likely fucking magic." I sighed. "Okay so, communication stone, what now? We decide who goes on the scouting ship?"
Before someone could answer me Himiko stood up in shock. "C-Communication Stones are absurdly valuable though! How did you manage to get so many of them?"
"They're cheaper if you order in bulk." Yoshi informed her. "If you want to know more, you should ask Nobunaga."
"Nobunaga, what on earth are you ordering?! Zipang doesn't have the surplus to spend this kind of money!"
"I discussed it with Yoshitsune and ordered them after fixing all your sloppy accounting. I didn't order enough to put any pressure on us. Don't lump me in with you." You could almost literally taste the smugness.
"But...But even so, this might be a bit much…"
"We can't have too many if we're aiming for world conquest." Was her sharp reply. "They'll become even more necessary as we expand our territory."
"I have heard that Communication Stones are both valuable and rare. Lady Nobunaga, where did you find so many?" Tama asked.
"Simple, I used Amasson."
"Pfft!" What?! "You used what?!"
"A trading company in South America. There are branches all over the world, and they deal in any type of goods. However tiny the country, just put in an order and they'll bring it to you." She explained. "As far as service companies go, this is the biggest and most convenient. Just press a button to place an order. If you've got something you need too, order it now."
"Uh, no thanks." I mumbled, stepping away a bit. "R-Right! Just going to ignore that… What's next?"
"Tadataka-san will, of course, be in charge of the survey group." Yoshi said, to which Tama nodded with pride. "But one of us should accompany her in case there are troubles."
Okay so how about-
"In that case, I would like to volunteer myself." Sasaki spoke. "As the most recent addition to the army, I wish to demonstrate I can pull my own weight."
"Damn, beat me to it." I grumbled. "Right yeah, my full support on this. Go ahead."
====
ì
After their departure I received news of Tama and Sasaki a mere week afterwards. Specifically, when the small girl rushed inside the meeting room after being hastily announced, followed by a composed and calm Sasaki. "My Lord! Emergency! A large fleet of enemy ships are approaching Zipang!"
"Wait what?!" I shouted, standing up from my seat. "What the hell did you guys do?!"
"Nothing! I swear it!" Tama defended herself. "We were in the middle of our navigation when we spotted a fleet without clear affiliation. When they saw us they sent a few ships to attack without even a warning!"
"I sunk the ships that tried to board us, but there were too many of them so we were forced to retreat." Sasaki finished.
"Gah! FUCKING PIRATES!" My body practically slammed the door open as I began to run through the hallways, Tama and Sasaki following shortly behind me. "Send the order! We're preparing for battle so get all ships we have ready, got it?! And tell all the heroes to meet me down at the docks!"
====
Now you're probably expecting a grand battle against pirates after a little declaration like that right? Two ships fighting both the oceans and each other, the sounds of cannon fire blasting off into the air?
Well sorry to say…
"We're never going to speak of that again." I mumbled as my feet touched the docks once more. "You hear me? Never again!"
Nothing happened. NOTHING!
"Onii-san, I can understand if you're disappointed…" Himiko began, but a hand on her shoulder and a shaking of head from Yoshi dissuaded her from continuing.
"Better to drop it." Then her expression turned pensive. "No banners, no evident affiliation, and they escaped north after a short skirmish...however you see it, that's strange behavior."
"There's a big chance they'll attack again. The only way to get rid of them is to find their base and strike at them there." Nobunaga proposed.
"Okay yeah but like, who are they?" I asked. "We know nothing about them. Unless one of happend to follow them or something."
"I'm confident I can find them with enough time." Tama said. "The problem is how to search around without being attacked."
"Oh! I know! I know!" Himiko jumped up and down. "It's finally time for the priestess to fulfill her duty. I'll call forth the Divine Wind and drive the pirates away, so that Tadataka-san can find their hideout."
"You can do that?"
"It's a ritual that those in Himiko family had used often in the past to protect the country." Yoshi explained. "Though, are you sure you can do it Himiko? It's not easy to perform it…"
"It'll be fine! Mother managed it for the first time when she was my own age, I cannot fall behind!" She boasted.
I started to have very serious doubts on the whole thing when, later on, Himiko began to chant a bizarre prayer while standing in a circle made from a cross with garlic, a clay figurine with a tortoise shell and, since she forgot some kind of crystal, a random shiny rock found on the beach. "Divine wind! Oh Divine Wind! Drive away the invaders!! Amen! Namu Myoho Renge Kyo… Please cleanse and purify our land…"
"Were those even real words?" I mumbled as I watched the whole shebang.
"In this kind of ritual, feelings are more important than implementation." Even Sei seemed a bit worried. "Though, with that kind of setup, it would not surprise me if Himiko ends up cursing the pirates to death."
"I… I mean that's bad but would it be a problem?" I mumbled, putting my hand to my chin. "Wait no we need to find out the mystery behind them."
"If this isn't enough already, I'll really put some feeling into it! Some god somewhere must be willing to help!" She began to wave her stick even harder. "Grant me the strength to help Onii-san and everyone...Grant me the strength to help Onii-san and everyone…"
EMIYA if you pull some bullshit I swear you won't be just the positive side of humanity anymore.
Obviously he didn't take my threat seriously, because as Himiko continued chanting the wind picked up, growing stronger and stronger until there was a literal, fuck-huge storm forming far away on the sea. The only saving grace was that it was visibly moving away from Zipang, and in the direction the pirates' main fleet escaped to.
"Did we really need that?!" I yelled at the sea. "How fucking long were you waiting to summon a storm!?"
Nobody answered. In fact, the others were giving me funny looks.
"Stupid smug bastard…" I grumbled. "Nice job Himiko."
"Eh eh. Thank you Onii-san." She smiled while still waving her stick. "But please don't insult the god that answered, they may change idea and send the storm back to us."
"Don't worry, me and him got a deal going on." I waved my hand. "Also what God?"
"Uhm...No idea. Let's just call him Benevolent God-sama." Himiko decided.
"Hahaha…" I chuckled. "It's nice that you think that."
====
Soon, and I'm not even sure why I'm surprised, Tama managed to locate their base. But like…
"How." I mumbled once more as I stared at the tiny woman. The ship rocked underneath our feat as the cool sea breeze whipped against my face. "How?"
"It was, quite literally, a case of exceptional good luck." She adjusted her glasses and began explaining. "After the storm Lady Himiko conjured was sufficiently far away to safely sail I began my investigation of the recorded bays and islands around Zipang that could house a fleet of those dimensions. In doing so I overheard a few sailors commenting how the storm was behaving strangely, moving in different directions than one would expect. So, after it stopped over a certain coastline for a few days before finally ending I decided to investigate it."
She gestured to the fleet anchored around said coastline. "And that's what I found."
"...For some reason that sounds complicated but at the same time strangely simple." I commented before shaking my head. "Must be my imagination."
"We finally found them...Today's the day we show them a thing or two!" Himiko said with determination.
"It looks like they know we're here." Yoshi commented. "Well, it was impossible to come close without being spotted. Their ships have taken considerable damage, but they still outnumber us…"
The pony-tailed girl thought for a moment before looking at Sei. "Seimei, can you do something about it?"
"Mmh? If it's Yoshitsune asking it, I guess I can." She took out a paper strp, four paper dolls floating around her. "Magoroku, can you do your thing?"
"As you wish, Lady Abe." Setting down like a cane her giant pair of pliers Maragi raised her right hand, palm up, and closed her eyes in concentration. A sparkling flame, like that of a forge, appeared above her palm before she brought it closer to Sei, where it was absorbed by the blonde's body.
Immediately the aura I associate with accumulated Brave appeared around Sei's body, strong enough to be visible with the naked eye. Unlike mine, which is really just my surroundings being set on fire, this looked like actual energy. The flow of weird magic shit spreading from her body gave her an enchanting light that could never be unseen.
It was… kinda cool.
Sei clapped her palms together in some sort of hand gesture, the paper strip held between two fingers. Then she started chanting: "On the East, the Azure Dragon Seiryu. On the South, the Vermilion Bird Suzaku. On the West, the White Tiger Byakko. On the North, the Black Turtle Genbu."
The four paper dolls began to spin around her faster and faster, changing into energy-based forms of the four creatures Sei was referencing.
"Converge. Then, collapse." She winked, a mischievous grin on her lips, before thrusting her hands forward. "Grand Cross!"
The four creatures, still spinning in a cross formation, shot forward in the direction of the enemy fleet, until they couldn't be seen anymore.
A second later a giant cross-shaped explosion went off right in the middle of the fleet, sinking most of the ships caught in the radius and leaving the rest a smoking mess.
Before I had even realized it my hands were clapping as slowly as I could, eyes wide open. "Holy fucking shit. That's impressive."
Yoshi smiled. "There is a reason I recommended her to you."
"Yosh! Now's the time to strike!" NobuNobu raised her musket before pointing it forward. "Board those scallywags and take their stuff!"
"Yar har, fiddle di dee." I deadpanned in response, pulling the Kusanagi out of it's sheath. "Do what ya want 'cause a pirate be free."
"Wait. We're the pirates here?" Himiko asked in confusion.
"Please, ignore them." Yoshi told her.
The helmsman, hearing our words, ordered the oarsmen to row faster and pointed straight at the closer enemy ship. With the wind blowing in our favor it took less than a minute to arrive: there the bow of our ship smashed into the enemy's own, making both spin until their sides slammed against each other. Sailors waiting in preparation throw grapplers to bind the two ships together, and just like that we had a terrain for a land-based battle.
"Well," I smirked at my crew. "Plundering and lootin ahoy mateys. Who's ready to show these scallywags why you don't mess with the infamous Yamatai Crew?"
"You think we're done for?" One of the pirates from the other ship, strangely dressed on long concealing white robes, shouted back. "Crush them all!"
With a yell both crew rushed at each other, and the battle was on.
As I went along with my standard plan of 'swinging my sword at anyone in front of me' I found myself fighting next to Sasaki. The redhead was making full use of her stupidly long sword's reach, crossing weapons with swordsmen and spearmen alike. She was fast and graceful like Yoshi, but where the latter would stay nimble on her feet Sasaki moved with simple and deliberate steps, her sword moving to intercept blows and strike openings with almost supernal swiftness. It was as if she could predict the enemy's moves...or maybe she had already taken control of the flow of battle, and now the enemies could do nothing but move according to her will.
Meanwhile I… was not doing so hot.
Literally.
"WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM?!" I shouted as a bunch of pirates tried to mob me. My blade cut them in half with ease but there was still a lot of them. "THERE SHOULD NOT BE THIS MANY OF YOU! AT AL- GAH FUCKING SHANKERS!"
A surge of anger welled up inside me as TNT manifested behind me and soon the guy who had just tried to stab me with a broken sword had his head cut off with pure fire. Blood didn't even come out of the wound, he just turned to mere ash.
...Huh, so that's what happened when I hit a squishy with TNT.
"Onii-san! Don't use fire on the ship!" Himiko cried out. "Guh! There's no end to them. If this keeps up, they'll break through! There must be some way to turn the tide-Uwahh! My skirt! They got my skirt with an arrow!"
"Not looking!" I shouted as TNT vanished from the air and- NOPE FUCK YOU WELCOME TO STABVILLE POPULATION EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND LOVE! "Who the hell even are you people?! I mean, I know we came to beat you all up and steal your stuff but come on!"
Nobody answered, unless you count 'keep fighting' as their way to do so.
"More enemy ships incoming!" I heard NobuNobu yelling. Then her tone changed to disbelieving. "Wait, I recognize those banners...no way."
Through the haze of blood and mist, I saw it. The signal of the end, a holy golden light that rose up into the sky high above the clouds and pierced even the sky itself. Everyone stopped moving, all mesmerized by the enchanting beam as it came CLOSER TO US OH GOD-
For the next few seconds my world was a bright golden light, I had even shut my eyes in order to avoid being blinded and yet it still burned itself into my retinas. The wind picked up and positively exploded into my face as I struggled to stand up right in the face of the powerforce and after what seemed like a lifetime...
Slowly, I opened my eyes and looked. We were unharmed but the enemy ships? Oh the enemy ships were just gone. Like, literally, it's not like there were smoking wrecks they were just gone.
I turned to the pirate next to me as our eyes met. The same feeling passed through us then and there as we came to a mutual understanding of "What the hell just happened?"
And then I kicked him in the stomach and into the sea.
"...What?" I asked incredulously as every turned to stare at me. "We're still fighting right?"
It's not like he'd die from tha- "Gah!"
Apparently the pirates had decided to follow him as they all jumped into the ocean like a roaring flood. Me and probably the rest of the crew on the ship stared dumbstruck as, swimming perfectly with the waves, the pirates all attempted to swim as far away from us as possible. In the ocean.
"Let's be honest here, I would probably do the same if that happened to us." A soldier commented. "What in the name of the gods was that?!"
"W-What immense strength…" Himiko breathed in awe. "An enemy with such a huge force ended up completely destroyed… Someone came to our aid?"
"I recognize the banners they hoist." NobuNobu suddenly said with a grim tone. "Those ships...are from Britannia."
"...Alright, bullshit rescue for the win then." I nodded, "We aren't even anywhere near Britannia last I checked though, you think that was just some famous pirate crew and they were chasing them down or something?"
"I don't know." Yoshi mused. "Let's hope they're willing to have a peaceful meeting."
====
They did: in fact, they requested them first. So I, Himiko, Yoshi, NobuNobu and Sei went to meet their representatives.
Noble-looking knights in white armor were forming two opposing files, standing straight and proud like statues. And between them… Between them… Be.. Tween… Them…
Between them were the most gaudiest, most horrifyingly disgusting cases I have ever seen of aristocracy in my life! Three girls stood between them and the first two alone could have given me an aneurism! A purple haired girl on the left, decked out in a white and gold dress that covered absolutely no skin at all! Now, I know I walked around with someone who had no pants but at least in NobuNobu's case her armour was fucking metal! The only metal I could see where her gauntlets and the gold! The fucking gold! Do you know how weak gold is?!
Luckily on the right was the least serious offender of all, while her dress was big and poofy it was still covered by armor in the important bits like you know, her fucking guts. While she, with her flowing blue hair and her admittedly nice crystal sword, still looked gaudy as shit, she at least looked like an actual fucking guard even if her shield was literally half her size and her sword was even longer!
And then… And then there was the girl who sat in the middle of them. The ruler, for she had a crown on her head and everyone on their side was showing her respect, had flowing blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. That's about as much as I can say calmly for she looked like someo villainess out of a fucking Otome Game! She screamed, no, she roared aristocracy with her frilly white and gold dress and noble mannerisms that seemed to suggest "Oh dear heaven's just look at the time? Is it tea time?". Every single molecule in her body seemed to ooze out smug, like it was her god given right to rule over everybody else like the dolls and pigs we were. In fact, I'm pretty sure that instead of the ionic bonds that kept every other person's molecules together, her entire being was just held together by pure smug and arrogance while nobility was just woven into her DNA from the moment she was born.
Let's just say that I didn't like these people thank you very much!
Yoshi elbowed me in the side and whispered. "Please, be polite. I'll physically restrain you if I deem it necessary."
"I'm not going to stab someone just because they look like they were born barfing up gold and everyone worshiped them in response." I whispered back. "That'd be rude."
She looked at me in unreasonable skepticism before sighing. "Let's hope so."
"A pleasure to meet you for the first time." Queen Bitch greeted us with a sweet voice and an even sweeter smile, looking straight at me. It made me sick. "Please forgive us for the sudden intrusion."
"Is this about the whole pirate thing?" I asked, sitting down on the chair across from her. "Or was that just a coincidence and you were already on your way here after word of Zipang's unification reached your ears?"
"Ah, yes. Indeed, it is as you said. But I don't believe it to be mere coincidence, because love is deeper and greater than all things…"
What.
"Grrr…" Oh God, did Himiko just growl?
"And who is this lady?" Queen Bitch asked next, looking honestly puzzled. "Did she indeed just growl at me?"
Yoshi's hand clamped down on Himiko's mouth like a steel vice. "Oh, don't worry about her. She's just in her rebellious phase…" She replied with an innocent smile.
"Mumumuh!" Himiko tried, and failed, to deny the accusation.
"Ah, please be as you are." She looked back at me. "Then please, if I could ask once more, might you be the ruler of Zipang?"
"I have the sword so yes." I nodded, trying not to laugh as Himiko started to turn red.
"The sword?"
"My Queen, if I may." The blue-haired girl interjected. "I am to believe the ruler of Zipang is chosen by the will of a sacred sword, who only allows the destined ruler to take it out of its sheath."
"Ah, how fascinating." It was faint, but...was she blushing? "The patriotic hero who unified Zipang… I've been waiting for the day I might meet you…"
"Waiting for the day?" My eyebrow rose. "The unification wasn't even that long ago so imagine my surprise when a queen who lives halfway across the world has been waiting to meet me."
"I like to be informed about what happens in the world, even if it is far away. Ah, pardon the lateness of my introduction."
She stood up and performed a perfect curtesy. "My name is Arthur, Queen of Britannia."
"My name is Galahad, a knight in the service of Her Majesty Arthur." The blue-haired girl proudly proclaimed.
"Gawain. I'm the same." The purple-haired girl smiled.
"I have come now as an envoy to express Britannia's good intent." Arthur continued. "I would like to discuss the possibility of establishing friendly relations with Zipang."
"I see." I nodded, "So that's why you're here huh."
Let's see, they wanted friendly relationships, and that certainly wasn't a bad thing. From their might and their looks, they were certainly a powerhouse in some way of the word.
If we get them on our side, our economy could advanced exponentially. Or… something.
You know I'm not entirely sure how the economy works despite the fact that It's my job to make sure the economy is running. Wait no, my job is to stab people and to look semi decent, it's Yoshi's job to run the economy. I think. Should probably find out who's doing that.
Still, it was a good offer. In fact, it was a great offer. So naturally, I gave my reply.
"No."
====
Notes:
Alex: ….No?
Chen: It's counter productive. I mean, I got told by literally everyone to take over the world and while the deal might be good in the short term but in the long term? It'll get in our way.
Chen: You know (This was explained by Yoshi off screen after Inherit The Earth) how Britania goes around trying to make deals for peace? Well then every single one of those countries becomes off limits. I can't touch them, otherwise Britannia will get on our ass. And even if I avoid the countries that don't have friendly relations then Arthur's peace loving attitude will probably get in the way and ask us to stop, even threatening to take away their support from the deal. Which is a problem as by that time, we'll probably be relying on their support a whole bunch.
Chen: Long story short? They'll have us by the balls if we take that deal.
Alex: Honestly, it makes sense *frantically writes down new notes*
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2015
- Messages
- 1,088
Later then usual but hey, we're actually doing things more then one session only now!
Which means you get this 5k word update.
I think this is a first for both me and Alex.
Which means you get this 5k word update.
I think this is a first for both me and Alex.
EmpirePlayer
Anyone need some chaos?
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2014
- Messages
- 1,193
What I just heard:
Cough Cough Cough, what?
Ow wow that was unexpected. Um. We off dem rails, at least? Oh god without friendly relations that means no Lancelot! Her thing might be Gluttony, and she's still kinda in-training-ish, but it's still Lancelot! A lovable goof, but ES Lancelot is still a Lancelot!
I hope things still keep somewhat peaceful though. Maybe an embassy?
Or more SOCIAL ACTIVITY next session?
EDITED IN: Wait.
Chen utterly hates Arthur!? That's even more surprising! What kinds of games he's been playing to hotwire him to despising noble-ish characters so much!?
Ow wow that was unexpected. Um. We off dem rails, at least? Oh god without friendly relations that means no Lancelot! Her thing might be Gluttony, and she's still kinda in-training-ish, but it's still Lancelot! A lovable goof, but ES Lancelot is still a Lancelot!
I hope things still keep somewhat peaceful though. Maybe an embassy?
Or more SOCIAL ACTIVITY next session?
EDITED IN: Wait.
Chen utterly hates Arthur!? That's even more surprising! What kinds of games he's been playing to hotwire him to despising noble-ish characters so much!?
meganeshounen
*tips glasses*
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2016
- Messages
- 1,299
Oddly reminds me of a certain Angel from Evangelion.
Then again, Arthur's own legend is also dependent on a semi-sentient sword choosing its owner...
In Civilization terms, Arthur's aiming for a Diplomacy Victory.
Meanwhile, you guys want a Military Conquest Victory.
Also, Code Geass references in the next update?
Mizu
Software Developer
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2015
- Messages
- 3,803
change their mind and send the storm
Arthur's a girl in this reality as well? Should've known from an eroge, in all honesty - I do suspect you won't ever encounter anyone male who's in a position of power unless they're an evil emperor who eats babies or something. The fact the armour of Arthur and her knights is skimpy to say the least only really emphasizes the world's origins.
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2015
- Messages
- 1,088
Play enough hours of Civilization and it'll kinda start bleeding over into other stuff.
EvaUnit01
The man who stands at the top of AAWWEESSOOOMEEE
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2013
- Messages
- 2,908
I know. I've spent months trying not to make a Gundam civ cross.Play enough hours of Civilization and it'll kinda start bleeding over into other stuff.
Chapter 22: In The Name Of Love
Alexander
That is not dead which can eternal lie
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2013
- Messages
- 12,374
Chapter 22: In The Name Of Love
====
I had barely finished talking when Yoshi and NobuNobu tackled me out of the chair.
"What he means-" The purple-haired girl told the Britannian delegation with a dazzling smile. "Is that we cannot give you a definite answer before discussing it among ourselves. Please give us some time." Then she turned back to me and stopped smiling.
"What are you thinking?" NobuNobu snarled. "You don't just say no like that. What if they take offence?"
"Well it's not like they're going to kill us." I growled back, picking myself up before plopping myself back down on the chair, but still low enough to not be heard by Queeny and her knights. "Britannia is a diplomatic country, not one getting by on pure military might. They kill us, a small country that just had unification again, and they risk setting in motion a series of events that could have the entire world against them with the right amount of word twisting. Plus, I don't think they're the kind of nation to bully a smaller nation for not agreeing with their peace deal. That's still bad PR ,come to think of it, but I still stand by what I know of them."
"...I am not sure what PR is, but I can guess." Yoshi finally said.
"Have you seen that girl? 'I don't believe it to be mere coincidence, because love is deeper and greater than all things'." NobuNobu looked ready to vomit. Honestly I still had no idea what that sentence even meant but I wasn't prepared to find out. "She's a weirdo, plan and simple. Who knows what goes on inside her head?"
"Be that as it may be, it doesn't change the fact Britannia is one of the strongest nations in the world. You can even consider it the last hurdle in our conquest. I didn't expect for us to make contact like this so soon." Yoshi sighed before looking at me. "Why are you opposed to friendly relationships with Britannia anyways?"
A sigh escaped my lips as well as I tilted my head back and turned towards the sky. "How many nations does Britannia have peaceful relationships with?"
"I don't know."
"Estimate. Approximate. Give me your best guess."
She thought about it. "...At the very least, two or three of the other European nations. Maybe more if they can afford to send an expedition so far away."
"And if we take the deal-" I began, giving my hand a wave. "All of those countries will now be off limits if we want to keep that friendly relationship. It doesn't matter how weak they are, or if they're in the path of nearby targets. We mess with those countries, even just sending troops through them, we're essentially giving Britannia a gut punch and if we take the deal we can't afford to do that. Question number two: How has the state of Zipang been in the last few years?"
"If it comes to that we just need to be strong enough to win, but I can see your point. I don't want too many powerful bastards ganging up on me, one was enough." NobuNobu grumbled. "And to answer your question: shit. It has been shit. You know that well enough. We have just recovered enough to support a military campaign oversea."
"Okay so now follow with me. We've been in a shitty situation and suddenly this big national power comes and helps us out. Boosts our trade, helps out redeveloping the country all the nice stuff." I held my hand out in front of my face before closing it into a fist in an instant, a tiny flame burning at the very tips of my knuckle. "But then we piss them off and all of a sudden, they decide to stop being friendly with us. So answer me this, how bad would that situation be?"
"If you ask me, it's more likely Arthur wants friendly relationships with you." NobuNobu snorted. "Did you see how she look at you? But to answer your question: yes, it would be bad." A pause. "That's why it's better to use the resources from nations we conquer. I'm not so foolish to become dependant on someone stronger than me, and I would punch any of us that would suggest that."
"What Nobunaga is trying to say-" Yoshi added. "Is that it would be greatly helpful to reach an accord to stop Britannia from attacking us right now. Because we could never win."
"I see…" I mumbled before lifting my head back towards the table. "Hey Arthur, you aren't planning on kill- Grk! Uh, attacking us because we said no right?"
Dammit Yoshi, no need to elbow me ugh my sides…
"Who would do such an awful thing?" She looked scandalized, as if I just suggested eating children or something similar, but also sad. "Why does everyone keep asking that…?"
"My Queen." Galahad interjected. "I know your intentions are pure, but if you go to meet the leader of another nation and just say 'Let's be friends!', it's natural to be suspicious." She sighed. "How many times it happened already?"
"All the times." Gawain dryly replied. Immediately I began snickering from my position before repeating her words to myself.
That's just… Pfft.
"I...don't...mean...any offense." Himiko said slowly while being prodded by Sei. "But what is the reason for wanting friendly relations? Zipang is still a small and weak country, having just been unified."
"For love." Arthur replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"H-Huh?" Himiko dumbly muttered. Even Sei looked unsure how to react.
"This world is in an age of constant war." The blonde girl continued with a sorrowful tone. "National ideologies collide and wars unfold endlessly."
"Oh, here we go again…" Gawain rolled her eyes.
"This is the Queen's speech. Perhaps we ought to be discreet and just listen respectfully." Galahad chastised her friend.
Arthur gave no sign she even heard them, so engrossed she was in her words. "Chaos and disorder spread with no signs of stopping. As long as it remains a battle of strength, the circle of war will continue… This world cries out for an able ruler. Without such, world peace can never come to be. To restore this world with a tolerant and loving heart…" She smiled. "Yes...It is love that this world seeks! The love that is bountiful within my own heart!"
I don't even know if it was something to do with her Brave but soon her surroundings began to sparkle in a glowy, glittering light. The scene was so bizarre, so out of the ordinary even for this world's standards that the only thing I could compare it to was as if my little sister had dumped glitter all over the room.
Or maybe, I just didn't want to comprehend this sight in front of me.
"Oh gods, she's a loon…" I heard NobuNobu whispering under her breath.
"Ahh, the light of a peaceful world shines here and now… The light that will envelop the world fills this beautiful place…"
"Really, shouldn't we do something?" Gawain was clearly embarrassed.
"It would be...disrespectful…" Galahad replied, clearly forcing herself. Those two must had it rough.
Thankfully the light show came to an end. "I thought it was impossible by myself...But I've finally found the bridge to peace." Arthur passionately declared.
Before moving faster than I could react and cupping one of my hands between her own.
"Servant of Heaven, I would walk together with you." This time, the blush on her face could not be mistaken for anything else. "Together, with the power of love, we can work toward world peace! The bridge between Britannia and Zipang will connect the world!"
"...What." I looked at everyone else in the room, "Whaaaaaaaaaaat?"
"Aaaah! No holding Onii-san's hand, pleeease!" Himiko cried before doing the exact opposite, grabbing my other arm and trying to pull me away from Arthur. "He's MY brother! Please don't look at him all hot and bothered like that!"
"I didn't know you had a younger sister." Arthur kept smiling. "I shall invite her as well, when the day comes."
"Brrr! Onii-san, I implore you to stay away from this woman! She's clearly delusional! A stalker!"
"Aah, it is true. I have been swept away...by this sweet fantasy called love…"
"She, she doesn't even listen to people when they talk…"
I-I-I How do you even deal with this!? "Uh, I, Uh, I, Um, Ah- Yeah I um, uh…."
I turned to everyone else in the room. I had no idea what kind of face I was making but it sure wasn't a happy one. "H-Help! A bit of help here!"
"To not be shaken by this situation, he's not to be taken lightly…" Gawain commented. It was like she didn't care everyone could hear her. And what she meant by 'not shaken'? I was totally shaking right there!
All the other knights were looking up at the ceiling, probably doing their best to ignore the reality around them.
NobuNobu looked close to losing herself to a laughing fit, Yoshi seemed to ponder the best way to interfere and Sei...was having a paper doll sketch the whole shenanigan on paper?
"If this keeps up, the ruler of Zipang will be split in two… Let us put a stop to this at once." Only Galahad retained some common sense. "My Queen, we should proceed with the meeting. We have yet to even mention conditions, surely negotiations cannot proceed in this state?"
"Is that so… If Galahad says so, I guess it's for the best." She finally let go of my hand. Himiko reluctantly did the same, though she kept glaring at Arthur.
"I'm…" The words stumbled out of my lips. "I… don't want to remember what just happened."
"It is a good thing you mentioned conditions." Yoshi began. "You talked of a friendly alliance, but what would that entails?"
"Ahh...If it isn't too bold of a request, I dearly wish to spend more time with Sir Miyafuji. Can I call you Sir Miyafuji?" Arthur bashfully asked.
"Just…" Dammit all…. "Just call me whatever."
Her smile turned outright angelic, and I knew I made a mistake.
"That's...fine, I guess." Yoshi conceded. "And?"
Arthur tilted her head in puzzlement. "Is there more I could ask for?"
"When two nations become allies, of course there is a clause of non-aggression between them. I assume this also extends to other nations Britannia is allied with?"
"Ahahah...That would normally be correct." Gawain awkwardly laughed. "If, we had more allies."
"The EU made it quite clear we're next once they pacify their territories." Galahad stoically began, eyes closed. "The ruler of Russia laughed in our faces, and the USA…" She began to tremble. "The USA…"
"Let's call it an incident and leave it at that." Gawain hastily finished.
"What, did they throw all your tea in the harbor?" My mouth spoke on it's own before I could realize what I was saying.
"That would have been so much better." She sighed.
"Wait. So...no clauses about going to war with another nation beside Britannia?" Yoshi received a curt nod in response. "And what kind of support would you offer to Zipang?"
"Facilitations to promote trade between our countries, and...and…" Gawain's expression grew more and more troubled until she turned to Galahad. "We never thought beyond that, right?"
"Yes." The blue-haired girl stoically added.
"Do you guys even know what diplomacy is?" NobuNobu asked, aghast.
"I mean, too be fair." I countered. "Do we know what diplomacy is?"
"The art of making others do what you want, either by trickery or force-Guh!" NobuNobu began, only to be silenced by a hand-chop from Yoshi.
"Wrong." She said with a stoic, disappointed stare. "Queen Arthur. Since Britannia doesn't intend to place demands, it wouldn't be fair to ask for something that doesn't benefit both of our nations. I am sure me and your knights can smooth out the details. In the meantime, since this place is hardly appropriate, would you do us the honor of being our guests in our country's capitol?"
"Wait." I raised my hand. "Yoshi… aren't we heading out for the mainland in like, a few weeks?"
"Tadataka-san has yet to finish her survey. That'll add plenty of time to wrap this up."
"...You're not wrong."
"Ahh...I am about to visit Sir Miyafuji's home. How wonderful. My heart feels like it's about to burst…" Arthur, of course, was already back into her little world.
I mean, I still had some doubts but- Wait no that's a lie.
These guys were a bunch of losers.
====
You know, after the past few days, I hated everything about the legend of King Arthur. Every single detail. That accursed name makes me almost gain enough Brave to light the capital on fire.
The whole Love thing Queeny was always on about? Apparently she took that way too far. I really wished I was joking but no, she tried multiple times to confront me throughout the past few days and once even attempted to kiss me on the cheek. All of which I hid from in the stealthiest way possible.
Honestly I probably now knew the capitol buildings better than I have ever had to before. Seriously she showed up basically everywhere and it was as creepy as the days when I first met Himiko.
"-And that should be all with the exception of the documents regarding our new friendly relations." Yoshi looked over the document held by Gawain and nodded. Then the knight turned to me. "If there is no objection, I would humbly request your signature."
"Huh? Oh right." I mumbled as Yoshi's words brought me back to reality. "Just point me towards where I need to sign."
She pointed to the very bottom, where two straight lines were conveniently drawn side by side. The first had Arthur's signature: it was...very girlish. It even had a heart.
"...Alright now I'm slightly suspicious." I stared at the signature. "Yoshi, there's no secret marriage clause added in their right?"
"No, there isn't." She confirmed.
"Marriage? Marriage...Marriage...Marriage...Ahh. Surely, such a lovely word is what opens Heaven's Gates...?" Arthur muttered in her usual daydream.
"Rest assured, I wouldn't...do that to an human being." Gawain looked away. "I mean, it would make me happy if the Queen...but does someone like that even exist…?"
"Gawain. Let's not concern ourselves with things that are at the Queen's discretion." Galahad stoically replied.
"Got it." I nodded, putting my signature on the dotted line. "That's all right?"
"Yes. With this, our countries are now allies." Yoshi gave them a formal bow. "Our principles and ideologies may be polar opposites, but we would like to learn much from you."
"Such a mismatched pairing. It hurts my head." Gawain muttered. It's like she tried to be low enough to not be heard, but failed. "Please pray the Queen's mind does not change."
"We are grateful for the sincere response." Galahad began. "Our Queen's whim may have inconvenienced you. Before we return home, we would like to entrust you with someone as a link to strengthen our friendship."
"Her knowledge of the conditions of the continent is the highest in Britannia. She might prove useful to have at your side." Gawain continued. "She is a fellow Knight of the Round Table. Lancelot, enter and announce yourself."
Nothing happened.
"I have a monty python joke here somewhere." I mumbled to myself. "Just gotta think for a bit...."
"Perhaps she didn't hear…? Lancelot, quick! Come and greet the ruler of Zipang!" Gawain repeated with a higher tone.
Still nothing happened.
"Maybe Brave Sir Robin? No that still doesn't work.."
"Wha-What's the meaning of this? I do believe I told her to wait outside! Lancelot! Where could she have gone!?" Gawain left the door herself to look for the wayward knight.
"Ah! Got it!" I exclaimed, spreading my arms. "Introducing Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Meeting!"
"I don't know what you're referencing, but it sounds very appropriate…" Galahad commented, eyes closed. Then we heard the sound of footsteps approaching. "Finally…"
"Tch...Can't you even follow directions? What lack of refinement…" Gawain muttered as she returned, followed by a… girl in a white school uniform holding a purple blade in one hand and a half eaten onigiri in the other. She was around my age and- FUCK IT WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT SHOOL UNIFORM?!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! I KNOW ARTHUR LOOKS (And kinda acts) LIKE THE VILLAINESS OF AN OTOME GAME BUT NO! NO NO NO NO NO! THIS IS TAKING THAT WAY TOO FAR! ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT ALL THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE ARE SCHOOL GIRLS OR SOMETHING?!
HECK SHE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK SPECIAL AT ALL. WITH HER SHORT BROWN HAIR AND CRYSTAL BLUE EYES, IT'S LIKE SOME CHARACTER DESIGNER JUST PICKED UP A RANDOM SCHOOL GIRL OFF THE STREET, GAVE HER A SWORD AND TOLD HER "You're Lancelot now, go nuts."
IN FACT, SHE LOOKS… normal…
…
"'Sup." I greeted, waving my hands. "You Sir Not-Appearing-At-This-Meeting?"
"Zipang's cuisine is so delicious!" She happily said while munching on the onigiri. "Sorry, I don't know anyone with such a long name. I'm Lancelot! Nice to meet you!"
"Lancelot, what are you doing with that food in your hand?" Galahad demanded with a stern tone.
"It's lunch. The food here is so good…" She continued eating. I could almost make out the sound "*nom* *nom*" as she chewed.
"Isn't this your fifth meal today!?" Gawain looked puzzle beyond belief. "How much must you eat before you are satisfied!?"
"I had to save room for dessert." She nonchalantly replied.
"...You're hopeless…Lancelot, it will be a problem if you've forgotten our goal. Just in case, you do remember why we're here, correct?"
"The egg mixed with rice looks even more delicious! I can't wait to try-!" Was the totally relevant answer. "Ah, I'm getting hungry. I've got to eat quick."
She finished the onigiri and made to leave, but Gawain grabbed the neck of her shirt to stop her. "Lancelot! You just finished eating! Don't leave just because you're hungry again!"
"I'll give you a specially cooked meal by the best chef I can find if you stay for the meeting." I said with total seriousness. "Totes."
"Okayyy!" She immediately sit down next to me.
"I see you already have an inkling about the best way to handle her." Galahad commented. "Lancelot is new to the Round Table, but her talent comes recommended by her Majesty the Queen." Said Queen was still lost in daydreaming. "I guarantee her potential. Her personality aside, we would be most pleased if you would take her into your service."
"She's like BenBen, but if you replaced weapons with food." My head nodded, before I held up my hand. "Welcome to the team, up top."
"I have no idea what I'm supposed to to." She cheerfully informed me.
"You'll fit right in!"
"I'm pleased to see you get along." Arthur, having apparently returned to reality, said. "Lancelot, please greet your new allies."
"Uwah. Yes, Your Majesty. My name is Lancelot. I've just been selected by the Knights of the Round Table, so I'm still in training. I'm not very good at fighting, but whether it be food tasting, poison tasting or table scraps, you can leave it to me!"
"All she does is eat…" Himiko, who until then has remained silent, looked at Lancelot like she was a rare kind of monkey.
"I'm hungry again...Everything smells delicious here…"
"...I can't help but think we chose the wrong person for this…" Gawain looked like she was regretting a great many things.
"Well I like her already." I shrugged,."She seems fun."
"Nevertheless, we've concluded things without difficulty." Arthur began. "Friends of Zipang, this has indeed been a meaningful visit. Though I regret parting so soon, we must take our leave." She turned to me. "Next time, shall I pay you a private visit?"
"Er, ahahaha…." CRAP. "Hey uh, Lancelot! I think Arthur has a left over snack on her! Why don't you ask if the two of you can share?!"
"Indeed, I believe I have a few tartlets left from the ones Kay prepared for the journey. I will gladly share them with you, Lancelot."
Instantly the brown-haired girl froze, naked panic replacing the ever-present cheerfulness. "N-No! Thank you Your Highness, but I'm not angry anymore."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Absolutely! Fact is, I'm fat! Yes! That! I should lose weight, so don't feed me please!"
Well, there goes that plan.
Uh, uh, uh….
Crap… How do I get out of this situation?! Do I look like a master of social fu?! SOMEBODY HELP ME!
"That's too bad. I like watching you eat, Lancelot." Thankfully Arthur decided to desist. "I look forward to the day we can meet again, Sir Miyafuji. I hope for there to be no hindrance to our official business...But your warmth shall act as my only consolation."
And then she hugged me. I didn't have the heart to refuse, though that was going to change if her touching started to become inappropriate.
"Ahh." She sighed softly. "This alone can help me get through the next thousand nights…"
"Ah- Um- I- Yeah, uhuh." Please let me go, my face is getting hot. "I- Um, okay? Ah-ah."
God I'm not usually this nervous of a wreck. Aghhhhhhh!
"Grrr..." And Himiko looked about ready to war.
"My Queen, maybe your show of appreciation has gone beyond the appropriate time for etiquette." Galahad helpfully suggested.
"Such a pity, but you're right as always, Galahad." Thankfully she let go. "And with this, I look forward to the day of our next meeting. Farewell."
After that they finally left. Leaving behind a single girl that eat for four-five people.
And for fucks sake, I hope I never saw that woman again in my life.
====
I had barely finished talking when Yoshi and NobuNobu tackled me out of the chair.
"What he means-" The purple-haired girl told the Britannian delegation with a dazzling smile. "Is that we cannot give you a definite answer before discussing it among ourselves. Please give us some time." Then she turned back to me and stopped smiling.
"What are you thinking?" NobuNobu snarled. "You don't just say no like that. What if they take offence?"
"Well it's not like they're going to kill us." I growled back, picking myself up before plopping myself back down on the chair, but still low enough to not be heard by Queeny and her knights. "Britannia is a diplomatic country, not one getting by on pure military might. They kill us, a small country that just had unification again, and they risk setting in motion a series of events that could have the entire world against them with the right amount of word twisting. Plus, I don't think they're the kind of nation to bully a smaller nation for not agreeing with their peace deal. That's still bad PR ,come to think of it, but I still stand by what I know of them."
"...I am not sure what PR is, but I can guess." Yoshi finally said.
"Have you seen that girl? 'I don't believe it to be mere coincidence, because love is deeper and greater than all things'." NobuNobu looked ready to vomit. Honestly I still had no idea what that sentence even meant but I wasn't prepared to find out. "She's a weirdo, plan and simple. Who knows what goes on inside her head?"
"Be that as it may be, it doesn't change the fact Britannia is one of the strongest nations in the world. You can even consider it the last hurdle in our conquest. I didn't expect for us to make contact like this so soon." Yoshi sighed before looking at me. "Why are you opposed to friendly relationships with Britannia anyways?"
A sigh escaped my lips as well as I tilted my head back and turned towards the sky. "How many nations does Britannia have peaceful relationships with?"
"I don't know."
"Estimate. Approximate. Give me your best guess."
She thought about it. "...At the very least, two or three of the other European nations. Maybe more if they can afford to send an expedition so far away."
"And if we take the deal-" I began, giving my hand a wave. "All of those countries will now be off limits if we want to keep that friendly relationship. It doesn't matter how weak they are, or if they're in the path of nearby targets. We mess with those countries, even just sending troops through them, we're essentially giving Britannia a gut punch and if we take the deal we can't afford to do that. Question number two: How has the state of Zipang been in the last few years?"
"If it comes to that we just need to be strong enough to win, but I can see your point. I don't want too many powerful bastards ganging up on me, one was enough." NobuNobu grumbled. "And to answer your question: shit. It has been shit. You know that well enough. We have just recovered enough to support a military campaign oversea."
"Okay so now follow with me. We've been in a shitty situation and suddenly this big national power comes and helps us out. Boosts our trade, helps out redeveloping the country all the nice stuff." I held my hand out in front of my face before closing it into a fist in an instant, a tiny flame burning at the very tips of my knuckle. "But then we piss them off and all of a sudden, they decide to stop being friendly with us. So answer me this, how bad would that situation be?"
"If you ask me, it's more likely Arthur wants friendly relationships with you." NobuNobu snorted. "Did you see how she look at you? But to answer your question: yes, it would be bad." A pause. "That's why it's better to use the resources from nations we conquer. I'm not so foolish to become dependant on someone stronger than me, and I would punch any of us that would suggest that."
"What Nobunaga is trying to say-" Yoshi added. "Is that it would be greatly helpful to reach an accord to stop Britannia from attacking us right now. Because we could never win."
"I see…" I mumbled before lifting my head back towards the table. "Hey Arthur, you aren't planning on kill- Grk! Uh, attacking us because we said no right?"
Dammit Yoshi, no need to elbow me ugh my sides…
"Who would do such an awful thing?" She looked scandalized, as if I just suggested eating children or something similar, but also sad. "Why does everyone keep asking that…?"
"My Queen." Galahad interjected. "I know your intentions are pure, but if you go to meet the leader of another nation and just say 'Let's be friends!', it's natural to be suspicious." She sighed. "How many times it happened already?"
"All the times." Gawain dryly replied. Immediately I began snickering from my position before repeating her words to myself.
That's just… Pfft.
"I...don't...mean...any offense." Himiko said slowly while being prodded by Sei. "But what is the reason for wanting friendly relations? Zipang is still a small and weak country, having just been unified."
"For love." Arthur replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"H-Huh?" Himiko dumbly muttered. Even Sei looked unsure how to react.
"This world is in an age of constant war." The blonde girl continued with a sorrowful tone. "National ideologies collide and wars unfold endlessly."
"Oh, here we go again…" Gawain rolled her eyes.
"This is the Queen's speech. Perhaps we ought to be discreet and just listen respectfully." Galahad chastised her friend.
Arthur gave no sign she even heard them, so engrossed she was in her words. "Chaos and disorder spread with no signs of stopping. As long as it remains a battle of strength, the circle of war will continue… This world cries out for an able ruler. Without such, world peace can never come to be. To restore this world with a tolerant and loving heart…" She smiled. "Yes...It is love that this world seeks! The love that is bountiful within my own heart!"
I don't even know if it was something to do with her Brave but soon her surroundings began to sparkle in a glowy, glittering light. The scene was so bizarre, so out of the ordinary even for this world's standards that the only thing I could compare it to was as if my little sister had dumped glitter all over the room.
Or maybe, I just didn't want to comprehend this sight in front of me.
"Oh gods, she's a loon…" I heard NobuNobu whispering under her breath.
"Ahh, the light of a peaceful world shines here and now… The light that will envelop the world fills this beautiful place…"
"Really, shouldn't we do something?" Gawain was clearly embarrassed.
"It would be...disrespectful…" Galahad replied, clearly forcing herself. Those two must had it rough.
Thankfully the light show came to an end. "I thought it was impossible by myself...But I've finally found the bridge to peace." Arthur passionately declared.
Before moving faster than I could react and cupping one of my hands between her own.
"Servant of Heaven, I would walk together with you." This time, the blush on her face could not be mistaken for anything else. "Together, with the power of love, we can work toward world peace! The bridge between Britannia and Zipang will connect the world!"
"...What." I looked at everyone else in the room, "Whaaaaaaaaaaat?"
"Aaaah! No holding Onii-san's hand, pleeease!" Himiko cried before doing the exact opposite, grabbing my other arm and trying to pull me away from Arthur. "He's MY brother! Please don't look at him all hot and bothered like that!"
"I didn't know you had a younger sister." Arthur kept smiling. "I shall invite her as well, when the day comes."
"Brrr! Onii-san, I implore you to stay away from this woman! She's clearly delusional! A stalker!"
"Aah, it is true. I have been swept away...by this sweet fantasy called love…"
"She, she doesn't even listen to people when they talk…"
I-I-I How do you even deal with this!? "Uh, I, Uh, I, Um, Ah- Yeah I um, uh…."
I turned to everyone else in the room. I had no idea what kind of face I was making but it sure wasn't a happy one. "H-Help! A bit of help here!"
"To not be shaken by this situation, he's not to be taken lightly…" Gawain commented. It was like she didn't care everyone could hear her. And what she meant by 'not shaken'? I was totally shaking right there!
All the other knights were looking up at the ceiling, probably doing their best to ignore the reality around them.
NobuNobu looked close to losing herself to a laughing fit, Yoshi seemed to ponder the best way to interfere and Sei...was having a paper doll sketch the whole shenanigan on paper?
"If this keeps up, the ruler of Zipang will be split in two… Let us put a stop to this at once." Only Galahad retained some common sense. "My Queen, we should proceed with the meeting. We have yet to even mention conditions, surely negotiations cannot proceed in this state?"
"Is that so… If Galahad says so, I guess it's for the best." She finally let go of my hand. Himiko reluctantly did the same, though she kept glaring at Arthur.
"I'm…" The words stumbled out of my lips. "I… don't want to remember what just happened."
"It is a good thing you mentioned conditions." Yoshi began. "You talked of a friendly alliance, but what would that entails?"
"Ahh...If it isn't too bold of a request, I dearly wish to spend more time with Sir Miyafuji. Can I call you Sir Miyafuji?" Arthur bashfully asked.
"Just…" Dammit all…. "Just call me whatever."
Her smile turned outright angelic, and I knew I made a mistake.
"That's...fine, I guess." Yoshi conceded. "And?"
Arthur tilted her head in puzzlement. "Is there more I could ask for?"
"When two nations become allies, of course there is a clause of non-aggression between them. I assume this also extends to other nations Britannia is allied with?"
"Ahahah...That would normally be correct." Gawain awkwardly laughed. "If, we had more allies."
"The EU made it quite clear we're next once they pacify their territories." Galahad stoically began, eyes closed. "The ruler of Russia laughed in our faces, and the USA…" She began to tremble. "The USA…"
"Let's call it an incident and leave it at that." Gawain hastily finished.
"What, did they throw all your tea in the harbor?" My mouth spoke on it's own before I could realize what I was saying.
"That would have been so much better." She sighed.
"Wait. So...no clauses about going to war with another nation beside Britannia?" Yoshi received a curt nod in response. "And what kind of support would you offer to Zipang?"
"Facilitations to promote trade between our countries, and...and…" Gawain's expression grew more and more troubled until she turned to Galahad. "We never thought beyond that, right?"
"Yes." The blue-haired girl stoically added.
"Do you guys even know what diplomacy is?" NobuNobu asked, aghast.
"I mean, too be fair." I countered. "Do we know what diplomacy is?"
"The art of making others do what you want, either by trickery or force-Guh!" NobuNobu began, only to be silenced by a hand-chop from Yoshi.
"Wrong." She said with a stoic, disappointed stare. "Queen Arthur. Since Britannia doesn't intend to place demands, it wouldn't be fair to ask for something that doesn't benefit both of our nations. I am sure me and your knights can smooth out the details. In the meantime, since this place is hardly appropriate, would you do us the honor of being our guests in our country's capitol?"
"Wait." I raised my hand. "Yoshi… aren't we heading out for the mainland in like, a few weeks?"
"Tadataka-san has yet to finish her survey. That'll add plenty of time to wrap this up."
"...You're not wrong."
"Ahh...I am about to visit Sir Miyafuji's home. How wonderful. My heart feels like it's about to burst…" Arthur, of course, was already back into her little world.
I mean, I still had some doubts but- Wait no that's a lie.
These guys were a bunch of losers.
====
You know, after the past few days, I hated everything about the legend of King Arthur. Every single detail. That accursed name makes me almost gain enough Brave to light the capital on fire.
The whole Love thing Queeny was always on about? Apparently she took that way too far. I really wished I was joking but no, she tried multiple times to confront me throughout the past few days and once even attempted to kiss me on the cheek. All of which I hid from in the stealthiest way possible.
Honestly I probably now knew the capitol buildings better than I have ever had to before. Seriously she showed up basically everywhere and it was as creepy as the days when I first met Himiko.
"-And that should be all with the exception of the documents regarding our new friendly relations." Yoshi looked over the document held by Gawain and nodded. Then the knight turned to me. "If there is no objection, I would humbly request your signature."
"Huh? Oh right." I mumbled as Yoshi's words brought me back to reality. "Just point me towards where I need to sign."
She pointed to the very bottom, where two straight lines were conveniently drawn side by side. The first had Arthur's signature: it was...very girlish. It even had a heart.
"...Alright now I'm slightly suspicious." I stared at the signature. "Yoshi, there's no secret marriage clause added in their right?"
"No, there isn't." She confirmed.
"Marriage? Marriage...Marriage...Marriage...Ahh. Surely, such a lovely word is what opens Heaven's Gates...?" Arthur muttered in her usual daydream.
"Rest assured, I wouldn't...do that to an human being." Gawain looked away. "I mean, it would make me happy if the Queen...but does someone like that even exist…?"
"Gawain. Let's not concern ourselves with things that are at the Queen's discretion." Galahad stoically replied.
"Got it." I nodded, putting my signature on the dotted line. "That's all right?"
"Yes. With this, our countries are now allies." Yoshi gave them a formal bow. "Our principles and ideologies may be polar opposites, but we would like to learn much from you."
"Such a mismatched pairing. It hurts my head." Gawain muttered. It's like she tried to be low enough to not be heard, but failed. "Please pray the Queen's mind does not change."
"We are grateful for the sincere response." Galahad began. "Our Queen's whim may have inconvenienced you. Before we return home, we would like to entrust you with someone as a link to strengthen our friendship."
"Her knowledge of the conditions of the continent is the highest in Britannia. She might prove useful to have at your side." Gawain continued. "She is a fellow Knight of the Round Table. Lancelot, enter and announce yourself."
Nothing happened.
"I have a monty python joke here somewhere." I mumbled to myself. "Just gotta think for a bit...."
"Perhaps she didn't hear…? Lancelot, quick! Come and greet the ruler of Zipang!" Gawain repeated with a higher tone.
Still nothing happened.
"Maybe Brave Sir Robin? No that still doesn't work.."
"Wha-What's the meaning of this? I do believe I told her to wait outside! Lancelot! Where could she have gone!?" Gawain left the door herself to look for the wayward knight.
"Ah! Got it!" I exclaimed, spreading my arms. "Introducing Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Meeting!"
"I don't know what you're referencing, but it sounds very appropriate…" Galahad commented, eyes closed. Then we heard the sound of footsteps approaching. "Finally…"
"Tch...Can't you even follow directions? What lack of refinement…" Gawain muttered as she returned, followed by a… girl in a white school uniform holding a purple blade in one hand and a half eaten onigiri in the other. She was around my age and- FUCK IT WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT SHOOL UNIFORM?!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! I KNOW ARTHUR LOOKS (And kinda acts) LIKE THE VILLAINESS OF AN OTOME GAME BUT NO! NO NO NO NO NO! THIS IS TAKING THAT WAY TOO FAR! ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT ALL THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE ARE SCHOOL GIRLS OR SOMETHING?!
HECK SHE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK SPECIAL AT ALL. WITH HER SHORT BROWN HAIR AND CRYSTAL BLUE EYES, IT'S LIKE SOME CHARACTER DESIGNER JUST PICKED UP A RANDOM SCHOOL GIRL OFF THE STREET, GAVE HER A SWORD AND TOLD HER "You're Lancelot now, go nuts."
IN FACT, SHE LOOKS… normal…
…
"'Sup." I greeted, waving my hands. "You Sir Not-Appearing-At-This-Meeting?"
"Zipang's cuisine is so delicious!" She happily said while munching on the onigiri. "Sorry, I don't know anyone with such a long name. I'm Lancelot! Nice to meet you!"
"Lancelot, what are you doing with that food in your hand?" Galahad demanded with a stern tone.
"It's lunch. The food here is so good…" She continued eating. I could almost make out the sound "*nom* *nom*" as she chewed.
"Isn't this your fifth meal today!?" Gawain looked puzzle beyond belief. "How much must you eat before you are satisfied!?"
"I had to save room for dessert." She nonchalantly replied.
"...You're hopeless…Lancelot, it will be a problem if you've forgotten our goal. Just in case, you do remember why we're here, correct?"
"The egg mixed with rice looks even more delicious! I can't wait to try-!" Was the totally relevant answer. "Ah, I'm getting hungry. I've got to eat quick."
She finished the onigiri and made to leave, but Gawain grabbed the neck of her shirt to stop her. "Lancelot! You just finished eating! Don't leave just because you're hungry again!"
"I'll give you a specially cooked meal by the best chef I can find if you stay for the meeting." I said with total seriousness. "Totes."
"Okayyy!" She immediately sit down next to me.
"I see you already have an inkling about the best way to handle her." Galahad commented. "Lancelot is new to the Round Table, but her talent comes recommended by her Majesty the Queen." Said Queen was still lost in daydreaming. "I guarantee her potential. Her personality aside, we would be most pleased if you would take her into your service."
"She's like BenBen, but if you replaced weapons with food." My head nodded, before I held up my hand. "Welcome to the team, up top."
"I have no idea what I'm supposed to to." She cheerfully informed me.
"You'll fit right in!"
"I'm pleased to see you get along." Arthur, having apparently returned to reality, said. "Lancelot, please greet your new allies."
"Uwah. Yes, Your Majesty. My name is Lancelot. I've just been selected by the Knights of the Round Table, so I'm still in training. I'm not very good at fighting, but whether it be food tasting, poison tasting or table scraps, you can leave it to me!"
"All she does is eat…" Himiko, who until then has remained silent, looked at Lancelot like she was a rare kind of monkey.
"I'm hungry again...Everything smells delicious here…"
"...I can't help but think we chose the wrong person for this…" Gawain looked like she was regretting a great many things.
"Well I like her already." I shrugged,."She seems fun."
"Nevertheless, we've concluded things without difficulty." Arthur began. "Friends of Zipang, this has indeed been a meaningful visit. Though I regret parting so soon, we must take our leave." She turned to me. "Next time, shall I pay you a private visit?"
"Er, ahahaha…." CRAP. "Hey uh, Lancelot! I think Arthur has a left over snack on her! Why don't you ask if the two of you can share?!"
"Indeed, I believe I have a few tartlets left from the ones Kay prepared for the journey. I will gladly share them with you, Lancelot."
Instantly the brown-haired girl froze, naked panic replacing the ever-present cheerfulness. "N-No! Thank you Your Highness, but I'm not angry anymore."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Absolutely! Fact is, I'm fat! Yes! That! I should lose weight, so don't feed me please!"
Well, there goes that plan.
Uh, uh, uh….
Crap… How do I get out of this situation?! Do I look like a master of social fu?! SOMEBODY HELP ME!
"That's too bad. I like watching you eat, Lancelot." Thankfully Arthur decided to desist. "I look forward to the day we can meet again, Sir Miyafuji. I hope for there to be no hindrance to our official business...But your warmth shall act as my only consolation."
And then she hugged me. I didn't have the heart to refuse, though that was going to change if her touching started to become inappropriate.
"Ahh." She sighed softly. "This alone can help me get through the next thousand nights…"
"Ah- Um- I- Yeah, uhuh." Please let me go, my face is getting hot. "I- Um, okay? Ah-ah."
God I'm not usually this nervous of a wreck. Aghhhhhhh!
"Grrr..." And Himiko looked about ready to war.
"My Queen, maybe your show of appreciation has gone beyond the appropriate time for etiquette." Galahad helpfully suggested.
"Such a pity, but you're right as always, Galahad." Thankfully she let go. "And with this, I look forward to the day of our next meeting. Farewell."
After that they finally left. Leaving behind a single girl that eat for four-five people.
And for fucks sake, I hope I never saw that woman again in my life.
Last edited:
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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- Jul 19, 2015
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- 1,088
Before anyone asks, no, we didn't change Chen's mind because of PLOT. Alex basically convinced me that it was okay via shenanigans,
On that note, Lancelot isn't someone from modern day earth as well right? I mean, I forwarded the question to Alex but he was all like "Ask EMIYA, he is humanity." but I have no idea how. Do i need to like, I dunno, summon him from within a dream?
And also yeah, it's weird how looking at everyone, Lancelot is the only one who looks like a normal girl. I mean, Himiko does too but she's Himiko and doesn't count. Maybe it's the outfit, she looks like she walked straight out of modern day.... Um, all girls catholic school? No wait, I got it! Lancelot was a commoner girl who some how managed to charm the prince but then- Wait Arthur is the queen so I can't do an otome plot. Dammit. Still can think of all the Yuri story potential. In fact, five bucks there's already yuri fan art of them somewhere.
Wait a minute, this was from a Porn game so the one lewding Lancelot would be.... HWAWAWA!
I'm rambling at this point, it's three am. Do you people even like listening to me rambling? Because I can do that, just write up my own post with rambles on all the characters. Maybe even call it something stupid like the Chen's Pawsonal Log or some other stupid cat pun. It'd be like those side material things that usually comes with Light Novels!
No wait, Light novels usually only get like a blurb on some characters. Maybe some world building in the back of the book if they need it but other then that nope.
Why am I even typing at this point I planned to stop typing along time ago. Maybe it's this keyboard, I switched keyboards in the middle of the chapter you know? And now I'm typing so much faster, it's become a stream of consciousness at this point. Whatever, you probably have already stopped reading. What am I doing, typing this. Does it sound like I'm making a personal announcement to the thread because I'm really not honestly.
Right okay this was your usual ramble from everybody's least favorite catboy overlord. Vote now if you want me to ramble more, wait no. You probably don't care. Offers still up anyways but if only one person wants it then I'll charge them 15 bucks and- DAMMIT I'M STILL RAMBLING SHUTTING UP NOW!
On that note, Lancelot isn't someone from modern day earth as well right? I mean, I forwarded the question to Alex but he was all like "Ask EMIYA, he is humanity." but I have no idea how. Do i need to like, I dunno, summon him from within a dream?
And also yeah, it's weird how looking at everyone, Lancelot is the only one who looks like a normal girl. I mean, Himiko does too but she's Himiko and doesn't count. Maybe it's the outfit, she looks like she walked straight out of modern day.... Um, all girls catholic school? No wait, I got it! Lancelot was a commoner girl who some how managed to charm the prince but then- Wait Arthur is the queen so I can't do an otome plot. Dammit. Still can think of all the Yuri story potential. In fact, five bucks there's already yuri fan art of them somewhere.
Wait a minute, this was from a Porn game so the one lewding Lancelot would be.... HWAWAWA!
I'm rambling at this point, it's three am. Do you people even like listening to me rambling? Because I can do that, just write up my own post with rambles on all the characters. Maybe even call it something stupid like the Chen's Pawsonal Log or some other stupid cat pun. It'd be like those side material things that usually comes with Light Novels!
No wait, Light novels usually only get like a blurb on some characters. Maybe some world building in the back of the book if they need it but other then that nope.
Why am I even typing at this point I planned to stop typing along time ago. Maybe it's this keyboard, I switched keyboards in the middle of the chapter you know? And now I'm typing so much faster, it's become a stream of consciousness at this point. Whatever, you probably have already stopped reading. What am I doing, typing this. Does it sound like I'm making a personal announcement to the thread because I'm really not honestly.
Right okay this was your usual ramble from everybody's least favorite catboy overlord. Vote now if you want me to ramble more, wait no. You probably don't care. Offers still up anyways but if only one person wants it then I'll charge them 15 bucks and- DAMMIT I'M STILL RAMBLING SHUTTING UP NOW!
EmpirePlayer
Anyone need some chaos?
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- Mar 4, 2014
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- 1,193
Okay, NekoNekoBoy, when you wake up, then respond. Be level with me, what type of Lancelot were you expecting when you heard the name 'Lancelot'?
A 10/10 Perfect Mary Sue Perfect Knight Lancelot? A MILF (Considering in Arthurian myth, Galahad was the daughter of Lancelot, and Galahad already looks pretty old...)? A Lancelot who cheated with Guin and got reassigned to Antarctica? The sole guy? "ARRRRRRTHUUUUUUUR"?
And then you get ES!Lancelot.
A 10/10 Perfect Mary Sue Perfect Knight Lancelot? A MILF (Considering in Arthurian myth, Galahad was the daughter of Lancelot, and Galahad already looks pretty old...)? A Lancelot who cheated with Guin and got reassigned to Antarctica? The sole guy? "ARRRRRRTHUUUUUUUR"?
And then you get ES!Lancelot.
Also, Chen and Arthur sitting on a tree, K-I-*bang*
Awww, too bad he didn't pick up on the fact that apparently, ES!British Food is so bad even Lancelot doesn't want to eat it.
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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- Jul 19, 2015
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- 1,088
Eiyuu Senki has jaded me, I had absolutely no expectations at all for Lancelot.
Then I got BenBen 2.0
EmpirePlayer
Anyone need some chaos?
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2014
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- 1,193
Awww... still, you satisfied with BenBen 2.0?
EvaUnit01
The man who stands at the top of AAWWEESSOOOMEEE
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2013
- Messages
- 2,908
I'm not NNB, but I, for one, was at the very least expecting something like a genderbent Tommy Oliver.
Needless to say, very disappointed.
Kakanma
Know what you're doing yet?
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2014
- Messages
- 154
Chapter 22: Alliance with Britannia! The hungry-hungry* knight appears!
Just think, if the devs were willing to do that to Arthur and Lancelot, just what are the OTHER world leaders like?
*And looking at that I make it sound like she ate a devil fruit out of One Piece.
Just think, if the devs were willing to do that to Arthur and Lancelot, just what are the OTHER world leaders like?
*And looking at that I make it sound like she ate a devil fruit out of One Piece.
EvaUnit01
The man who stands at the top of AAWWEESSOOOMEEE
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2013
- Messages
- 2,908
I went and spoiled myself. There is literally only one character other than Yoshitsune that I can actually take seriously enough to respect.
Neko, don't you dare peek, because it's a god damn spoiler.
Hercules.
Kakanma
Know what you're doing yet?
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2014
- Messages
- 154
Herc is a f*cking monster. I suffered a TPK the first time I tried that fight.
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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- Jul 19, 2015
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- 1,088
I wouldn't be surprised if Lancelot could eat whole dimensions. Nothing is safe from the power of the Hungry-Hungry fruit.
This is racism and oppression to catboys everywhere.
RazielofSecrets
Verified Homo Sapiens
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2017
- Messages
- 96
The more I learn about this game, the more I get the urge to actually facepalm. I did a quick image search to see what the characters looked like, and I just, I can't take it. I mean, I should have expected this, all things considered, but still. Goddammit
I mean Heracles? Really? Granted, her design is one of my favorites, alongside Lu Bu and Napoleon, but then there's Nostradamus. Cambyses. Masamune.
Mizu
Software Developer
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2015
- Messages
- 3,803
bad PR, come to think of it, but I
Britannia anyways?"
A sigh escaped
must have it rough.
what did she mean by 'not shaken'?
mean, to be fair."
in there, right?"
sat down next to me.
supposed to do."
not hungry anymore."
that eats enough for four-five people.
Gotta say it's amusing watching you flounder, Daze. Very much not used to girls coming onto you like that, are ya?
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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- Jul 19, 2015
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- 1,088
Everything.
Very much not used to girls coming onto you like that, are ya?
I mean, I'm used to girls hugging me thanks to my little sister. What I'm not used to is when they clearly don't mean things platonically and start getting quite... affectionate.
Hwawawawawaaaaaaaaaaa....
Mizu
Software Developer
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- 3,803
I look forward to hearing your dating exploits on discord when you're older, daze, I honestly do.
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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- Jul 19, 2015
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- 1,088
Hahaha. I have one over you! For you see...
I've only got attraction to 2D women to be honest. 3D girls are just way below on the attraction list. Doesn't stop the physical contact from messing with Chen's head though, damn hormones...
Winged One
Not the Simurgh
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2013
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- 16,000
You realize we're not going to answer that outside of spoiler tags until it's too late?
Not that I know anyway.
NekoNekoBoy
Leader of the Idiot Brigade
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- Jul 19, 2015
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- 1,088
This is racism and oppression to catboys everywhere.