My Light Novel Isekai Story is Stressful As Expected (Eiyuu Senki Friend Insert ft. NekoNekoBoy)

Chapter 18: Touch Fluffy Tail

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All in all, the destruction to Yamatai really wasn’t that bad. A majority of the citizens actually ran away when the fire started, because luckily Yamata hadn’t decided to start the fire with pure dragon smiting.

...Wait shit the fire was bait. MOTHER FUCK-

Ahem. Speaking of that purple haired hell spawn of a bitch, she nor Yamato (No duh) hadn’t been seen at all since the fire. The only thing I knew about the whole situation was that it involved mind control and everyone else knew even less so we all decided to focus on the reconstruction right now.

It was going well, all things consider. The main thing that had actually taken damage were the buildings and those just had to be reconstructed. Of course, there were some problems on my side of things. Like, uh...

“Why you!! You ate my precious grilled miso!!” NobuNobu yelled, slamming her left hand against the wall.

“What are you talking about!? Didn’t you eat the whole sweet bean jelly I was saving all day yesterday!?” Himiko replied, waving her arms about like a madman.

“You told me I could eat it, didn’t you?!”

“I said you could only eat a little! And you even knew it was my favorite! Grudges over food run deep, I’ll have you know!”

“That’s my line! Eating something I took the effort to send away for…” Was she… actually sad? “I’ll never forgive you!”

“Who cares!” Himiko childishly stuck her tongue out.

...This.

See, while NobuNobu managed to assimilate herself well. She and Himiko still fought.

A lot.

AND IT WAS REALLY ANNOYING.

I swear you couldn’t leave the two in a room for five minutes without them getting into an argument on something. The two of them were like energetic cats and I wouldn’t be surprised if they started cat fighting in the middle of the hallway.

Yoshi just smiled as if the exchange didn’t even faze her. “It looks like she’s back to normal. I was worried at first, but thanks to you it looks like she’s well.”

“The same cannot be said for NobuNobu’s sanity.” I commented as we passed them in the hall, “I’d almost feel sorry for her if it wasn’t questionable in the first place.”

“Their interactions has always been like this.” She explained. “It was before Yamato went missing for the first time, but despite the age and city of birth’s difference they were close. Well, for a given definition of close.”

“Ah.” I nodded. “So it’s like that.”

“Ah, aaaahhhh!!!” Nobu screamed. “My food is all gone!”

“M-Mine too…” Himiko despaired. “And I had the red bean soup specifically made for me…”

“Huh? Benkei thought it shouldn’t go to waste…” Came the voice of the literally self-proclaimed culprit.

“Give me back my rice soup! I’m hungry!”

“Benkei can’t, it’s already in Benkei’s tummy!”

“My red bean soup! At least tell me how it tastes! You… You… Ah! I didn’t expect the Benben inquisition!”

I paused in my tracks before turning around and dashing towards the group of girls.

“The hell’s the BenBen Inquisi-” NobuNobu managed to get out before I bursted in between Himiko and BenBen before elbowing her in the stomach.

“NOBODY EXPECTS THE BENBEN INQUISITION!” I exclaimed as the pink haired woman fell to the ground coughing. “Our chief weapon is surprise and an unwavering determination to do what must be done! Er, our two chief weapons are surprise, an unwavering determination to do what must be done, and the pain and suffering of NobuNobu! Wait! Our three chief weapons are-”

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!” NobuNobu exclaimed as she finally got the air back into her lungs.

And kicked between my legs. Or tried to as immediately dodged out of the way.

Haha! You think you can try that on me?! Think again! “You… You… BRAT!!!”

I quickly rolled on the ground to dodge a roundhouse kick coming for my stomach before picking BenBen off the ground who only blinked in response as I ran away in the opposite direction. “BENBEN INQUISITION, AWAY!”

Only to be knocked down by something hard hitting my head as BenBen yelps in surprise. I groaned on the ground as I spotted a plate rolling on the floor before falling down.

Did… She just…

WHY?!

“Che-ny!” BenBen exclaimed, picking herself off the floor.

...I can work with this.

“Run, BenBen.” I whispered dramatically from on the ground. “You must… Defeat the NobuNobu. You are the inquisition's final hope.”

And with that I let out a long breath and closed my eyes, trying my best to go limp.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

[*]​

The aftermath of that little incident involved two plates, one heroic BenBen, NobuNobu’s food, a severe scolding from Yoshi and for some reason a screaming chicken.

And also Yoshi dragging me to Edo. For some ungodly reason.

“Your pace is slowing.” Yoshi told me while we were walking up a very steep road of Edo’s central district. “Want me to hold your hand?”

“...What?” I looked at her incredulously. “Why?”

“To help you walk faster, of course.”

“...Weirdo.” I muttered, picking up the pace. “So I’ve been asking this for like a week but will you finally tell me what we’re doing here?”

“There is a Hero here I want to introduce you to.” She explained. “I’ve been trying to arrange a meeting for a while now. She finally agreed, so I brought you along.”

“Wait there’s more heroes?”

“Oh yes. Some were not interested in war, but their cooperation would help us greatly in the future. Anyway, we’ll be there soon, so I’ll introduce you then… She’s just a little strange, so try to play along.”

I opened my mouth to respond but promptly shut it and jerked my leg back in shock. Looking down, there was a small paper doll that looked like one of those Shikigami things I had seen from…

...Uh…

...Actually I don’t remember where I had seen them from. It was cut in the shape of a person but still, just wear have I seen it from…

“Ah, she even prepared a reception.” Yoshi informed me. “It’s likely that this will be a warm welcome.”

“I see- WOAH SHIT!” I exclaimed as the paper doll physically dragged my leg forward and further into the city.

After a short walk (read: desperately trying not to trip) through the streets, we had finally arrived in front of a very big shop. “This is a general store she opened for fun. But since she opens and closes the shop whenever she wants, the rooster’s always calling.”

“...Uh.” Let’s see rooster could mean early and- nope. “What the hell kind of saying is that?”

“You don’t know? It means that there’s always someone asking to see her or visit the shop even when it’s close. As accurate as a rooster calling out when the sun rises.” She explained. “She should be in the garden now, so let’s ourselves in.”

She opened the door and I followed her inside.

...It’s totally a magical shop. Like, it’s really hard to describe what this place is like. You ever watch one of those shows where some kid steps into a shop full of mysterious items and finds one that becomes integral to the plot?

It was a lot like that, except also seemingly full of junk that you know does something.

Eventually, after much navigating, we got through the shop and into the back garden.

“Excuse us… Drinking in the middle of the day? As a friend, I can’t recommend it.”

Sitting under a tree and dressed in a really revealing pink kimono was a blonde haired woman. She quietly sipped some sake as she turned towards us and- Wait. No, no after BenBen I can not afford to be tricked.

There was no way those were real fox ears.

“Ahh… Just when I‘m wondering who it could be, Yoshitsune shows up.” She replied with a playful tone. “...Eh? And who might this be…...?”

“Some guy. Standing here.” I waved.

Yoshi sighed. “This is the one I mentioned before, the Servant of Heaven. You didn’t use your magic to check?”

“Nice to meet you.” She smiled kindly.

“Er, nice to meet you as well?” You know, now that I got a closer look at her face… “So magic shop huh?”

“I prefer the term ‘mysterious’. Mh, mh. You look like a good kid. Ah, you’re hiding an unusual light inside of you. But what kind of light?” She peered at me closer.

...Yeah wow she really used too much make-up. And did she trim her eyebrows? Yeesh. “Define ‘light’.”

“Mh, mh. I can’t tell. How curious: it looks subdued now, but also ready to rage like a great inferno under the right circumstances. Very interesting.” She giggled. “So this is the boy who unified all of Zipang…”

“I can vouch for his character.” Yoshi added. “He’ll meet your expectations.”

“Is that so? But he’s a little too young to drink. I’ve been looking for a drinking partner…”

“I nominate Yoshi.” I declared, pushing the purple haired girl forward.

“You do?” The blonde woman’s eyes lit up.

“...Only once in awhile. I’m not a hardcore drinker like you, Seimei.” She sighed. “Oh yes, I should introduce you two. Chen-kun, this is Abe no Seimei. She lives in the capital as an Onmyouji, a Diviner, and fortune teller. She’s quite the famous hero. Seimei, this is Chen Miyafuji.”

Abe no Seimei… Abe no Seimei… Swear I’ve heard that name from somewhere before.

“I’ve been watching you in my divinations for a long time, but now that I see you like this, you’re different than I thought.” Even as she said this, the paper doll from earlier began to play around my legs.

“Different how?” Depends on where she saw me, really.

“Patience. No one likes an overly inquisitive man.” She smiled playfully. “But since it would be rude to leave it at that, let’s just say my opinion of you is still positive.”

The paper doll from before began spinning on my legs causing me to look down only to see it doing acrobatic tricks over my knees.

...I mean it feels kind of weird but I guess it’s oddly entertaining.

“...I’m just not going to ask.” Fricken Diviners.

Yoshi smiled. “It seems you made a good first impression. It’s easy to tell, since the doll’s magic is linked to Seimei.”

“He’s a good boy, and I would like to see him growing into a good man.” Seimei giggled again. “I’m more interested in what’s on the inside, though.”

“But more importantly, you seem to be getting along right away.”

“It’s been five minutes.” I countered. “If she saw the thing with NobuNobu than she’d probably be taking different.”

“Which thing? Do tell, do tell?” She moved closer to me, a look of hunger for gossip in her eyes.

“Probably not what you’re expecting.” I looked over at Yoshi who seemed to be going through a long list of memories up and including to a few days ago. “Remember the battle for Edo?”

“Uhm, I think I was sleeping that day. Or drinking. One of the two. But continue, continue.”

“Okay so long story short I ran my mouth a little.” Understatement of the century. “It got NobuNobu so angry she basically forgot that she was fighting more than one person.”

“She’s so easily riled up, that Nobunaga.”

“Yoshi can attest that I didn’t go… easy on her?” I turned back to the purple haired girl. “Is that a good way to explain what exactly I said?”

“If woefully lacking in details.” She reluctantly nodded. “You also used the Kusanagi like a club.”

Seimei’s following laugh was barely on the edge of inappropriate.

“So-” I exclaimed, holding out my hand. “Sei was it? We’re gonna take over the world, you in?”

“Mmh, why not?” She took my hand and give a light shake. “Let’s get along.”

Afterwards she was quick into roping both Yoshi and NobuNobu into being her drinking partners, but at least it didn’t get in the way of work.

...More than expected.

====

Chen: Recruitment chapters yo.

Chen: We’re about to like, drown in filler.

To make the notes easier to cross-post between forums, I’ll be using Chen to refer to myself in the notes from now on.

 

Chapter 19: Burning Anvil of Steel

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It had been a few days since we recruited Sei and reconstruction was doing well. Not that she actually helped, no she mostly just lazed around in our garden and kept having drinking contests with NobuNobu. Which of course she drank under the table.

Truth be told, I had never seen a drunk person before I met those two. While yes I had seen my parents drink before, my mom was a fan of wine in particular at times, I had never seen them drunk.

Yeah, to me in my previously limited experience as a recently graduated freshman high school student, drunkenness and alcohol were completely alien concepts. Something I knew that happened but existed far away from my loner social life. But now that I had basically two drunkards constantly messing around the house 24/7…

I sighed as I finished inspecting another building around town. This kind of thing had to be done every few days after all, can’t have the workers slacking off and all that. Still, the thought of those two brought back some bad feelings.

Feelings that Yoshi in particularly noticed as she hm’d in thought before looking at me. “When you take up a position, you’re less flexible. When an enemy appears in ambush, what do you do?”

“Dodge.” I said automatically.

“Taking the enemy’s position in mind, how do you dodge? What position do you take if allowed to complete your dodge? And what do you do if attacked midway?” She continued.

“In order-” I began. “Depends on how they attack. Depends on what weapon I have on at the time. Die.”

“The first two answers are appropriate, the third it’s not.” She slightly shook her head. “Don’t you have techniques to parry even when dodging?”

I thought back to my training…

“By that point Yamato had just shoved me against the wall again.” More like shot really. “She’s… Well her arm strength speaks for herself.”

“That sounds like her.” She simply nodded.

The two of us descended in silence after that, an uncomfortable reminder of what had happened was standing all around us after all. They say time heals all wounds and while that was certainly true, the scars would still remain.

I wonder, if we ever did get Yamato back again, would the people accept her?

It was as I was musing with these thoughts that I spotted a familiar little girl in fluffy white clothes walking towards us while carrying a sword. My eyes raised a brow as I instantly started walking faster to the brown haired girl. “BenBen! Hey!”

“Wahhh, wahwah!” My greeting seemed to startle her. “C-Che-ny?!”

“In the flesh.”

“Are you alright, Benkei?” Yoshi asked her friend.

“Oh no!” BenBen waved her hands. “Benkei was just surprised, that’s all!”

In doing so, however, she dropped the sword she was carrying. It didn’t look especially damaged, but it was covered in rust.

I looked down at it.

I looked back up at her.

“...Why are you carrying a Rusty sword.” My mouth immediately blurt out. “Like, why.”

“You’re right.” Yoshi agreed with me. “Why do you have this, Benkei?”

Benkei recovered the sword and held it up for us to see. “Benkei found it at a weapon shop. Benkei was just on a walk. It’s rusty, but Benkei thinks it’s a great sword. But the weapon shop man said Benkei could have it for free because it’s rusty.”

Yoshi smiled softly. “Your weapon handling habits never change. But your judgment is always sound. That must be the case here too.”

“It’s definitely alright!” BenBen nodded enthusiastically and repeatedly. “It will be able to cut through anything soon!”

...This sounds like a scam, a free scam but still a scam.

“Uh, right.” I nodded,.“So you’re planning on fixing it up?”

She frowned. “Benkei asked a blacksmith, but the man said it was too hard.”

“I know a place where they might be able to, so let’s try asking them.” Yoshi said.

“Is that alright? Even though it’s for Benkei…”

“Don’t be silly. Of course it’s alright.”

I smiled and nodded, drawing myself away from the conversation as we began to move towards the blacksmiths: soon Yoshi and BenBen were lost in their own little world and I was just a tag along.

====

The place Yoshi talked about was huge and well-furnished, though the blacksmith had a plain appearance. Nonetheless he completely repaired the sword in just a few hours.

It turned out that it wasn’t a scam after all: that seemly plain sword was in truth Onimaru, part of a set of five katana called the ‘Five Swords Under Heaven’. They’re pretty famous in Zipang, not as much as the Kusanagi but close enough.

“Benkei’s new sword!” She shouted in happiness while swing it around. “Look how shiny it is! Thank you, Yoshitsune!”

“You’re welcome. But It wasn’t expecting it to be the Onimaru of all swords. I thought the ‘Five Swords Under Heaven’ were lost…”

“At this point, I’m just going to assume lost swords are just lying around every few feet.” I admitted honestly, still slightly stunned. “I mean.. come on.”

“It’s not really something that happen often. That it does so in your presence multiple times…” Yoshi mused. “I guess it’s a sign of favor from the Heavens?”

“Benkei’s eyes are good! Now Benkei’s collected 998 weapons in all!”

“I hear the 1000th one grants you an achievement.” I nodded. “The shitty silver ones but hey, 100% completion or bust.”

Yoshi gave me of those long looks she, Himiko and the others use when I make a modern reference no one but me understand before continuing as if nothing happened. “She’s been collecting them for a long time. Your wish is finally coming true.” She said the last words to BenBen.

“Yeah! When Benkei gets to 1000. Only two more left.”

“I’m personally looking forward to seeing the last two you find.”

“I’m willing to put money on an even more legendary sword!”

They looked at me before I waved my hands at them. “Bah, trust me on this one. When have I ever been wrong?”

Answer: Every. Time.

====

“O-Oni-saaaan!”

A few days later, Himiko came rushing into the room while I was working in it. Apparently Yoshi decided to throw the bills of the blacksmiths as a military expense and that meant it had to go through me.

And oh boy was it expensive.

“I finally...found you.” She said, out of breath.

“Um.” I paused, trying to figure out how to react. “Hi?”

“There’s a hero who’s saying she wants to meet you… And she’s pretty famous, so… I rushed all the way here…”

“Christ, what? Are they crawling out of the woodwork?” I mumbled, standing up from my desk. You unite one country and suddenly all the lazy asses decide to help you with world conquest. “So where is she?”

“She’s waiting in the guest room now. Should I prepare tea or some other refreshment?”

“Go for it.” My hand waved as I stepped outside and past Himiko.

Well, bring it on.

====

Actually no. Don’t bring it on. In fact-

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.” The girl before me politely introduced herself with a formal bow, her voice making her sound like older than she looks. “My name is Magoroku Kanemoto. I am just a worthless swordsmith living here in Zipang.”

“D-Don’t be silly!” Himiko looked scandalized. “Magoroku, you’re one of the best blacksmiths in all of Zipang.”

If there was one way to describe… Her (Note to self: Think of nickname), it would be slick. Or something. Her hands were covered with black gloves while a thin white dress with the side-ends sliced open adorned her body. She was a being of pure black and white, with hints of the fire she chose to follow adorning her ribbons and the ends of her black hair.

Which actually made her look like she was currently being forged herself. What the fuck.

“Why.” I began noticing the absurd tools that she carried around. “Why do you even need tools that big?! Why are you carrying them here?! Why?!”

“Those are worthy questions. Let me explain.” She began. “Those forging tools have been passed down from master to apprentice through many generations of blacksmiths. Sadly, I am lacking in height compared to be predecessors. However, it is still tradition. Additionally, they also double as weapons, under the aphorism of ‘Only a warrior who understand weapons can forge one’. In short, forging is another aspect of fighting.”

Slowly, ever so slowly, my hand came up to my face as I felt myself lose like twenty brain cells. “No. Just… No. No no no no no. Where do I even begin? I just… Okay so you're telling me that forging is an aspect of fighting so that’s why you’re carrying forging tools as weapons?”

“Of course not.” She replied. “I carry them as part of my training, to get used to their weight.”

“Right right of course.” I nodded. “...So basically… You know what? Fuck it. Just going ignore that whole mess.”

“Now, now Oni-san. It’s okay, I don’t understand it either. “ Himiko tried to console me. “So, Magoroku! What bring you here?”

“The ‘Five Swords Under Heaven’. Of all the swords forged by mortal hands in Zipang, it’s said those five are the most famous.” She said with reverence. “Those five swords were forged by my predecessors, and it has been a tradition to choose a worthy wielder, and to watch over them during the time they don’t have one. However, I failed in this duty: while I was away thieves assaulted my home, and stole the five swords. I’ve been searching for them even since. But just recently, I have heard Zipang’s army has came in possession of one of them, the Onimaru. Is it true?”

“Oh yeah, BenBen apparently found it in the bargain bin at a weapon shop.” I shrugged. “How long ago did you lose it again? Because it was in really bad shape, like, so bad the weapon man just gave her it for free because he thought it was another shitty old sword. We didn’t even know what it was before Yoshi got some help to polish it up a bit.”

“It was already like that when it got stolen. The last wielder died recently, and the blade was tainted. I’d like to thank you for purifying it.” She gave another formal bow.

“Um… Okay then.” What do I do now… “So uh, Is that all?”

“It is not. The other four swords are still missing, and I have a duty to retrieve them. However, at this point I am afraid they have left the country. My forces alone will not be enough. Therefore, I came to request my inclusion in your army: in exchange, I only ask that you help me looking out for the other swords during your world conquest's campaign and to let me watch over them until a worthy wielder appear. I heard the Onimaru is in possession of Musashibou Benkei: she is a worthy wielder.”

I nodded before elbowing Himiko and whispering in her ear. “That’s BenBen’s last name?”

“You don’t remember? Takeru told you when explaining about Kyoto for the first time.” She whispered back.

“I don’t even remember Yoshi’s last name! I use nicknames to avoid this kind of thing! That and the names are too much of a mouthful.” Er, than I realized something. “What’s her name again? Magakuro?”

“Magoroku!”

“How am I supposed to make a nickname out of that!” Ma… Ma… I turned back to the blacksmith as it hit me,.“Right, Maragi, can you answer a simple question?”

She silently pointed a finger at herself, as if asking if I was talking to her or someone else.

“Yes you no you don’t have a say in the name.” Magoroku was too much of a hassle. “Anyways… Do you only make swords?”

“If that is how you wish to address me, I shall have no complains.” She kept a perfect poker face. “I can make not only swords, of the variations: Katana, Chokuto, Tachi, Wakizashi-”

“Right okay but here’s the kicker.” Hopefully this works… “Are you willing to try to make muskets?”

“I understand.” She nodded. “While ranged weapons such as bows are the purview of craftsmen with a different specialization, a musket is a weapon that can be created with a blacksmith’s skills. While I don’t hold interest in them, I’ll perform my duty and try to fulfill your orders to the best of my abilities.”

Oh thank god.

While I would have let her stayed even if she couldn't, I was ready to kick her out of the castle if she started shit talking them and wouldn’t try.

“Well then.” I declared, stretching my hand to her. “Welcome to the gang Maragi.”

BLACKSMITH GENIUS GET WHOOO!

“From today, then, I am a member of the Zipang Army.” She took my hand and shook it. “Please take care of me. If you’ve got any concern about weaponry, leave it to me.”

====

Notes:

Alex: Usually it’s Neko that choose the title name, but today I’m doing it. Does it fit?

 

Chapter 20: Lonesome Me

====

“Alright BenBen.” I began as I ended my explanation, pointing to the setup I had prepared on the training grounds. “You understand what we’re doing, right?”

“Uh-huh Che-ny!” She nodded fiercely, picking up a rock from a basket. “Leave it all to me!”

“Okay then! Bring it o-” The sound of rock hitting flesh interrupted me as I had to wince back in pain. My hand reaching up to my face as the object that hit my head came falling to the floor. “Ow. Okay okay, now I- FUCKING HELL!”

My body swiveled instantly to avoid the second rock being thrown at me. A throbbing pain still remained but I didn’t have time to acknowledge it as thousands of rocks were thrown my way, each one barely being seen by my eyes before they assaulted my body. I had to stay on my toes to even avoid half of them.

Just… Gotta… Build… Up… Brave…

NOW!

“You! Drop whatever you’re doing and come with- Wha?!” A voice I barely recognized shouted.

Bad move.

“TSUMUGARI NO TACHI!”

The intruder, who I had now recognized as NobuNobu, barely had any time to dodge as a fist made of pure fire instantly punched the ground where she was standing, a small explosion appearing in the space she was at mere seconds ago.

“ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!” She yelled. Then she gave a good look around, from BenBen to the rocks littering the area and the bruises on my body. “Correction: are you trying to kill yourself? In that case forgive my interruption, please continue.”

...Something in me snapped as my face went expressionless. Tsumugari no Tachi (Note to self: Need a better name TnT- is too long) came into full view behind me as I arched my back slightly backwards and tilted my head, pointing a finger gun at the pink haired women. “BenBen, lock and load, new target. Aim… FIRE!”

“Yes!” BenBen lifted another rock, only to stop when she saw NobuNobu pointing her custom musket at her. “Uh…”

“Look, I have no time for whatever kind of weird...thing is going on here.” She drawled before her lips turned into a grin. “I just received news that Sasaki Kojiro and Miyamoto Musashi, two of the best sword users in the whole of Zipang, are going to have a duel on Ganryuu Island! We can’t miss it for all the gold in the world!”

“Annnnd why should I care?” DID SHE JUST MENTION THE SAVIOR OF FRANCE?! FUCK YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

“That’s simple: now that we know where the both of them are going to be, we can meet and persuade one of them, maybe both, to join our forces.” She explained. “Having people skilled at warfare is good, but we also need talented warriors to face those that simple numbers can’t bring down.”

“Oh.” I blinked before turning away. “You do it.”

“Aaaah?! What’s with that reaction? Are you not interested in witnessing a duel between two literal sword saints?”

What the fuck was this, a xianxia novel? I thought this was Isekai dammit.

“Nope. Got things to do and I don’t really care. You go do it if you’re that interested.”

“You will not have to deal with paperwork while we’re away.”

“Ha!” The fool. “I’ve already passed on the paper work to someone else for today! Also I’d have to deal with more paperwork as they’d pile up when I’m away so in the end I’d have like, more paper work than I would if I didn’t go away and in the end it’s just not worth it. Really, my buttons aren’t that easy to press old lady.”

“Can Benkei come? Benkei would like to see the duel.” BenBen asked, eyes shining with excitement.

NobuNobu’s sneer instantly shifted to a foxy grin. “Suuuure! Himiko and Yoshitsune already said they’re interested, so I guess we will have a nice vacation with added show while a certain brat will remain here all alone, with nothing to do beside watching someone else do his paperwork.”

“I mean…” I didn’t even give the annoying old fart a glance. “Okay? Sure? You guys can go? You’re really overestimating how much I actually care here. But if you want to know, while you’re gone, I’m going to figure out how to fly.”

I felt a vice-like hand grab my shoulder and turn me around, where I was confronted with a NobuNobu whose own Brave had reached the point it could be physically seen as a red aura around her body. “You’re going, OR ELSE.” She growled, resembling every last bit the Demon King she was referred to.

Maybe if she was wearing pants and I didn’t see her all beat up and crying on the battlefield that would’ve actually scared me. As it was… “Useless useless useless. Your threats mean nothing to me. Though, I could be persuaded for a…「Favor」.”

I felt the pressure on my shoulder loosen up. Only a finger though. “Be careful what you ask for.”

To the side, BenBen seemed to enjoy herself immensely.

“Oh nothing much, I’d agree if say, a certain 「Useless, Old, Western-Obsessed, Sexually Frustrated, Chronically Drunk, Freeloader」decided to say, do some work for at least a month?”

The pressure returned. It was also starting to get uncomfortably hot.

“Oh? Work you say? Why, you should have said so sooner.” Nobunaga’s angelic smile was anything but. “Is there some matter that require my immensely qualified expertise?”

“Depends on if you agree. Are you sure you're up to the task?”

By this point, I was bracing for myself to get hit. It would’ve been so fucking worth it though.

Her smile cracked a little. “I’m not agreeing to anything until I know what you have in mind. Spit it out already, you hateful brat.”

“Pft, you're no fun.” I waved my free hand at my face. “It’s simple. You. Do my paperwork. For a month. Then I’ll go.”

One second. Two. Then she removed her hand. “One single month, starting from when we return. Anything made before that is out.” She replied, voice returning to normal.

“Great! Thanks for the month long vacation!” I smiled, preparing to duck and run. “So much better than having only a day or two off, am I right?”

“Oh I agree.” She raised a hand, clenching it into a fist. “Everything after that is just me generously offering to help with your training!”

The moment she threw a punch TNT (Crap is that name sticking?) appeared before her in a burst of flames, ready to counter that punch as I ducked and rolled away from her reach. “Catch me if you can, just make sure not to pull your back old lady!”

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I’M NOT OLD YOU SHITTY BRAT!”

====

It took a lot of days, not as much as the last time I crossed the country at least, but we finally arrived at Ganryuu Island. There was a single ferry connecting it to the mainland, with the harbor on the island being a single wooden plank next to a beach of fine sand. Where the shore ended there was grass, soon followed by a forest of gnarled trees. All in all, it was very picturesque.

“Hey, hey. Che-ny!” BenBen called. “Do they sell any delicious food on Ganryuu Island?”

“Ganryuu Island is deserted, Benkei.” Himiko told her. “I don’t think there are any shops or restaurants...Ah! That person holding that really long sword!” She pointed. “That must be Sasaki Kojiro!”

She was… Different than I was expecting. Lot less purple for one thing. Tall, lanky, and with the face of a thug, she was not at all in any way easy on the eyes as she scowled at the world, her long red ponytail reaching down to the end of her sword sheath, which was no mean feat when you looked at the blade in question. Her dress wasn’t even that good looking either, with a jarring combination of red and orange barley even reaching her legs before she let white stockings do the rest of the work. Combined with the cold aura she gave off? She was a goddamn nightmare to look at.

It’s, it’s like they tried to make Canada into a waifu honestly…

“It seems Miyamoto Musashi still isn’t here.” Himiko continued.

“Her sword...It’s so long.” BenBen observed with amazement. “Can she really fight with something like that?”

“Just be glad it’s not a gunblade BenBen.” I nodded, “Only edgy angsty people use long blades that also serve as a gun. It just seems to come with the territory, that and black leather.”

Barring Thouma of course, wait no.

“Gun...blade? A blade that is also a gun? How does that even work?” NobuNobu scoffed. “Swords are swords, and guns are guns. If you try to fuse them together just because you can’t be assed to bring both you would only get a monstrosity too brittle to serve as a melee weapon.”

“Since the duel hasn’t started yet, let’s try to talk with Sasaki-san.” Yoshi suggested.

I instantly took a step back and crossed my arms into an x shape. “Not it.”

“I’ll do it.” Himiko slowly approached before calling out to the redhead. “Umm...Excuse me? Are you by any chance Sasaki Kojiro?”

“Mm.” Distracted from her silent contemplation, she looked at everyone without a change in expression. In contrast her next words were more curious than anything. “Indeed I am. But, who are you?”

“We’re...he’s...Aaagh! I wanted to address the topic of who’s who when we returned, not now!” After an awkward start Himiko wails in frustration. She cleared her throat. “Let’s try again. I’m Himiko, and those are my Onii-san and friends. We rule Zipang, and soon the world.”

“Oni-san? Rule the world?” Sasaki repeated in confusion.

Ah crap why did we leave this to Himiko of all people…

I silently jabbed Yoshi forward with my elbow.

She immediately took the hint. “Himiko, you’re just confusing her. Maybe it’s best I step in.”

“Oooh...Alright…” She slumped down.

“A pleasure to meet you, Sasaki-dono.” Yoshi offered the swordswoman a formal nod. “My name is Minamoto no Yoshitsune. The awkward girl is Himiko, the boy is Chen Miyafuji and the others are Musashibou Benkei and Oda Nobunaga.”

“..I see.” Her gaze turned to me. “So you’re the rumored ‘Servant of Heaven’, the successor of Yamato Takeru-sama.”

I just silently gave her a thumbs up in response. She looked at the gesture strangely but said nothing. Maybe she understood the meaning behind it?

“Rumors of it have spread so far?” Yoshi asked.

“As inexperienced as I am, even I know how famous all of you are. What business do you have with a mere swordswoman like me?”

“Obviously, to see your duel with Musashi Miyamoto.” Nobu answered with a cheeky grin. “And scout the winner, maybe even the both of you.”

“I see.” She didn’t sound very surprised. “But I am a student of the world...I have no interest in the wars of nations. My only goal is to polish my sword technique by fighting the strongest opponents I can.”

“She seems like a really tough person…” Himiko softly commented.

“If you join the Zipang army, you can fight strong swordsmen from other countries.” BenBen cheerfully said, unintentionally making a good point.

“Hm...Really? Then…” For a moment Sasaki seemed very interested before hastily composing herself. “But first! I must defeat my most worthy adversary, Musashi Miyamoto! I thank you for your generous offer, but right now I must fully dedicate both my mind and body to our duel.”

She’s... actually nicer than I thought she’d be. Granted I thought the same of Yamato, but it’s still a surprise.

Also that sword dedication is reminding me a bit too much of China, go back to Canada you filthy gaijin.

Heh, hypocritical humor.

“But that Musashi...she’s late.” She turned to look in the harbor’s direction, a hint of disappointment in her voice. “The scheduled time for our duel has long passed by.”

“When was it supposed to be?” Yoshi asked.

“Two hours ago.”

“Two hours!?” Himiko gasped. “You’ve been waiting that long?”

“I’m a patient woman.” She simply replied. “I’m starting to get a little perturbed, though.”

“Eh, I’d give it about… fifteen minutes or so.” My shoulders shrugged. “By that point she’s either very late or she’s not coming.”

“Nonsense. An agreement to duel is a sacred thing for a swordsman...I can’t believe there would be a swordsman who would neglect their promise.”

“Well, I suppose at this point all we can do is wait as well.” Yoshi said. “Come on everyone, I prepared some refreshment.”

And like that she pulled out a goddamn picnic.

====

This was more than fifteen minutes.

“The sun has started to go down, yet no one has shown up yet.” Himiko stated the very obvious. Standing up she approached the still unmoving Sasaki. “Uhm, Kojiro-san? I don’t think...”

“What?” She replied with an emotionless tone.

“I think...she really skipped out on you?”

“No, there is no way the one who is called the ‘Two Swords Dragon’ would break a sacred promise between swordsmen.” She insisted.

“Even so, not all swordsmen are as diligent as you, Kojiro-san. Instead of waiting forever for someone who may not even come, why don’t you sit down with us in the meantime?”

“T-Thank you for your kind offer, but I must decline. For now I’ll wait here for Musashi. I won’t move a single step!”

“She’s really stubborn.” I heard Himiko comment under her breath when she came back.

“Eh, just leave her be.” I replied. “Hopefully she doesn’t have to wait for three days and two nights only for… whoever we’re waiting on to really be lost the whole time but by the time she gets here we’ve already left and gotten her to come along with us to china where she falls into a cursed spring and ends up changing genders depending on what water temperature she’s splashed with.”

A sigh escaped my lips before I rolled over to my side, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a nap. Wake me when the person we’re waiting for arrives.”

====

I ended up waking up by myself. The moon was high in the sky, BenBen was fast asleep on Yoshi’s lap, NobuNobu was snoring loudly and Himiko has resorted to chanting some kind of nursery rhyme to pass the time. Meanwhile Kojiro still looked the same as I last saw her, the same position too, but the peanut gallery got an addition in the form of a flock of creepy-looking owls, standing on the trees with glowing eyes and making their characteristical cries.

“No, Miyamoto-san hasn’t arrived yet.” Yoshi informed me as I began to sit up. “So, what was this about cursed springs and changing gender based on water temperature?”

“Old story from back home.” I began with a yawn as I tried to wake myself up. “Well, I say old but it’s only like… twenty years old? Holy shit it’s been twenty years or so since it came out. Dammit all, I wasn’t even born in the 90s and It seems like it wasn’t even that long ago.”

While we were talking Himiko has stood up and slowly approached Sasaki. “Kojiro-saaan?”

“...” The swordswoman didn’t reply, her eyes closed.

“Are you awake?”

“Grr…” Just then her eyes snapped open, raw fury brimming in her pupils. The following rant was that of a teenage girl whose boyfriend stood up on their date. “MUSASHIII! WHY HAVEN’T YOU COME?!” She screamed to the heavens.

“Yahhh!? Don’t scare me like that!” Himiko cried.

“What, you’re scared?! Musashiii!”

“Wake up the whole island why don’t you.” I grumbled, covering up my ears. “Not that there’s anyone to wa… Oh shit.”

“Munyaaa?” Benben instantly sit up, Yoshi raising her chin just enough to avoid collision. “What? What’s happening?”

“Shit! An enemy?!” NobuNobu went from sprawled on the ground to wielding her rifle in a matter of seconds. “Where?!”

“Calm down already!” Fucking… “Sasaki’s patience finally ran thin and she’s currently in the middle of a tantrum. Makes me wonder what she was thinking about this whole time honestly…”

Kojiro suddenly stopped shouting. “I have to go find her!”

“W-Wait a second! Do you even know where to search?”

“Of course. The tea house close to the harbor on the mainland. I heard Musashi’s a regular there.”

====

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE LEFT ZIPANG?!”

“Yes, yes.” The old man behind the counter nodded, eyes squinting as he absentmindedly kept polishing a plate. “Musashi-chan told me that for a while she wanted to go on a tour of the world to sample the food of different countries. Just yesterday she finished gathering enough money for the journey and came here to say goodbye.”

“...I was wrong.” I declared, a bit dumbstruck by this turn of events. “Sasaki isn’t Ranma, she’s Ryuga.”

“This, this, this makes no sense!” Kojiro wails. “What about our duel?”

“Duel?”

“Yes! The one on Ganryuu Island!”

“Oh? But there is nothing on Ganryuu Island. No game, and it’s the wrong season for fishing.” The old man’s eyes squinted even more. “Why would Musashi-chan go there?”

Saski began despairing even harder.

“Geez, what’s the deal with that?” NobuNobu snorted. “Did you make that promise while drunk? Or did she just forget?”

“Unforgivable. It’s absolutely unforgivable.” Sasaki began to mutter. “I'll find her even if it takes years! Then I'll make her understand what it means to break a promise to duel!”

“...You know? Instead of wasting years doing it alone, we could have the Zipang army gather intelligence.” NobuNobu began with a suspicious smirk. “Since our aim is world conquest, we’ll surely stumble upon the place Musashi is currently in.”

“W-What?” Caught by surprise Sasaki turned to look at the pink-haired girl.

“That’s definitely more effective than searching blindly. In return, how about you join us?”

“Hmm…” She seemed to seriously consider NobuNobu’s proposal. A quick look inside her coin purse, followed by a resigned sigh, and Sasaki reached a decision. “...Alright. I’ll cooperate with the Zipang army. However! Once you find Musashi tell me immediately. Those of ill enough character to neglect a promise to duel deserve to be punished!”

“Well then, that’s three for… Whatever on Hero recruitment.” I declared. “Now, as long as she never says the phrase ‘Musashi, because of you I’ve seen hell!’ we’ll get along great.”

====

Notes:

NNB: I realized two things this update. One ended up with me coining the term ‘Social’ (Or in a different meaning at least), the second is just making me hit myself because I realized I should’ve billed the end of part one as the end of the first light novel volume. It’s 80 pages long at least so it counts for something right?

Alex: Well, if all the stuff until now was an original work we may have used it on Patreon or something to make some money. As it is, only free-form for us.

NNB: Nah man, you can totally get people to pay you shit on Patreon even if you’re writing fanfics. It’s not like you’re selling the fanfic (Commissions don’t count), it’s just… “Support”