1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

Loading...
  1. Fellow

    Fellow Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    677
    Does Mr Zoat share his secrets with you or something? You seem to have an encyclopedic knowledge of this fic that is quite impressive
     
    moralrelativity, Ardy and Darko like this.
  2. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,301
    Thank you, but no I just remembered it.
     
    moralrelativity and Fellow like this.
  3. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    853
    Likes Received:
    5,931
    I think Darko also spend a long time asking a bunch of questions about minutiae and details of the fic, so there's that.
     
    Fellow and CTrees like this.
  4. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2019
    Messages:
    876
    Likes Received:
    2,252
    Ah, she's giving you a hard time and so you are going for broke and going to show her your giant orange snake?
     
    Fellow, w34v3r, Ardy and 1 other person like this.
  5. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2018
    Messages:
    854
    Likes Received:
    6,544
    Yeah, not getting more of those was a mistake. Paul really should just assimilate all of Hell.
     
    moralrelativity and Ardy like this.
  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,301
    That...may be difficult.

    I also think Paul once said that the reason he didn't assimilate more of them was because he discovered he can be harmed through them by use of demonic magic.

    Yeah I did, but this one I just remembered from reading the chapters.
     
    Ardy likes this.
  7. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2018
    Messages:
    854
    Likes Received:
    6,544
    [​IMG]
     
  8. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,301
    Other people can also use demon magic in this story.
     
  9. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,522
    Likes Received:
    20,854
    He also spends a lot of time just making stuff up, and then when shown to be wrong, declair's very loudly that Zoat doesn't have to listen to that and can do it his way instead.
     
  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,699
    Likes Received:
    729,194
    While neither are perfect grammar, both are things it's reasonable for the SI to say.
    That is a reference to the SI's previous line.
     
  11. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    853
    Likes Received:
    5,931
    I think what the rabbit meant is that Demon Magic can only be used because Hell exists and Demons exists. If all Demons are assimilated, from where would mortal magic users use demon magic? Only the Illustres, if he assimilated all demons, would be able to use Demon magic.
     
    Ardy and Fellow like this.
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,301
    Other magic users could just use the magical energy from Hell to use hell/demon magic, without needing to deal with demons.
     
  13. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,522
    Likes Received:
    20,854
    You remember that Hell has Anti-Paul stuff going on right?

    He goes back down there things will likely go really badly for him.
     
  14. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2017
    Messages:
    641
    Likes Received:
    3,472
    Not if he assimilated Hell too
     
    Cuchulin and Lord Ernest like this.
  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,301
    I guess if he uses FEED ME on a 1000% he could potentially do it.
     
    Lord Ernest and Ardy like this.
  16. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2017
    Messages:
    641
    Likes Received:
    3,472
    Now you’re thinking with MINE!
     
  17. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,301
    Zoat did Paul build a temple for Hades on Tamaran like he did on Karna?

    Tamaran doesn't have a death god, or probably even an afterlife, so it would make sense for him to do it, and I bet the Tamaraneans would be willing to let him do it.

    Introducing Helios to them could also be productive, seeing as he's a sun god, so some of them may become interested in what he has to offer and start worshipping him.

    X'hal doesn't seem to interact with or do anything for the Tamaraneans so they may be interested in a god that does.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2020
  18. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,522
    Likes Received:
    20,854
    The Tamaraneans already have a Goddess...

    Her name is X'Hal.
     
  19. Threadmarks: Faed Away (part 16)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,699
    Likes Received:
    729,194
    5th May
    03:13 GMT -5


    Left fist left fist left fist!

    Focusing on keeping my blade from her face, Aurakos can't react as I stop trying for a pin and settle for just punching her in the chest plate. As I somewhat-expected the blows don't do a great deal and my crumbler gauntlet fails to activate, but-.

    "I don't know?"

    She tries to stamp on my bleeding foot but I crouch slightly so that my left knee prevents her hitting her sword. She stamps on the side of the boot instead, which-.

    "Try it!"

    She doesn't break the armour, but a super strength stamp's opposite reaction results in her body jerking upward and my reflexive grab with my left hand results in me going with her. We hit the ceiling together and she brings her feet up to try and push off me. I latch my left hand onto her shoulder to prevent her changing angle, keep my right hand's blade pointing at her face and bend my left leg back-

    DRHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    -which causes her sword to drop out. OOOw!

    "Canis! Catch it!"

    Canis darts forward even as we both fall back towards the cave floor. The sword goes out to the side as Aurakos and I awkwardly wrestle for position, and Canis grabs it and pulls back just before we slam-

    HUGGGGGGGGGHHH!

    -back onto the ground! I land on my right side and Aurakos tries to break my hold to clamber on top of me.

    Ophidian.

    But the weight of this armour against the floor is nothing like enough to stop my arm moving and while she's wrenching at my left hand I stab with the blade on my right! She tries to evade but I still manage to slash under her helmet and cut through the flesh of her neck. I retract-

    A Sheeda maggot stumbles down the stairs, eyes glowing orange as it's puppeted by my wraith. Not what I asked for, but-.

    The maggot collapses, and its bloated stomach undulates and writhes.

    -the blade and swing my right arm into the floor. Not a big swing -that just isn't possible from this position- but it's still enough to get me more or less upright while she's awkwardly hanging off me.

    Ophidian.

    The maggot bursts, and a wraith-possessed Spine Rider flies my way while Canis waves his Mother Box at his newly acquired sword.

    Ophidian.

    It's not that I can't feel her. There's definitely something there, but I can't feel anything like the level of responsiveness I usually get from her. Nice that she finds the Corps so enthralling…

    Without her aid, I try to feel Aurakos's connection to the orange light myself. Depending on her level of remote control, there might not be anything other than the direction which Melmoth is providing her. And it's… Working. I see a cage forcing the orange light to move-.

    "Wait." Melmoth's voice sounds uncertain. "What are you?"

    Aurakos copies me, bending her knees and swinging her feet against the wall with enough force to knock us into the middle of the room. Not wanting her to land on top of me I kick out with my right leg, hitting the floor and sending us careening-.

    She grabs my left gauntlet and yanks, finally separating us. I hit the wall near the stairs, drop, then roll onto my f-feet. She lands.. on her hands and handsprings onto her feet nearer the centre of the room.

    Break the Cage.

    The light from her forehead shimmers between sigil-yellow and avarice-orange, causing her to stagger and her eyes to unfocus. I could try charging her down and stabbing her, but that risks her desires aligning with Melmoth's desires, which would undermine my work. Interesting that she's still got significant desires in grundy form. Also interesting that this challenge system thing considers my armour's healing potion dispenser to be equivalent to her regeneration; the wound in her neck is gone with only a small amount of grey blood clinging to her where it once was, while my foot is considerably less painful.

    "Why do you obey your murderer!? Why do you obey the backstabber who murdered your father!?"

    Who do you Want to Kill?

    "Heroic resolve never ceases to be tiresome."

    Aurakos jerks as her sigil glows brilliant-white, the light-

    Wraith, now.

    Yes, Master.

    -shining from her eyes, presumably a sign of Melmoth asserting full control. But as the wraith-possessed Spine Rider lunges for Aurakos's neck, my environmental shield re-engages because apparently she can't use her New God powers while like this.

    Something's happening with her body, her armour shuddering in response to forces I can't see. But that doesn't matter, because my power rings are working again. I form a small construct crumble gauntlet, duke it under her helmet and push it in the direction of Melmoth's sigil.

    The lights from her head go out, and-.

    The armour covering her right arm explodes as the limb within expands to grotesque proportions! The skin has torn in several places, grey blood dripping through the tears and muscles visible beneath! The limb is about eight times its former thickness and-.

    The rest of her body is doing the same, armour failing under the internal pressure as whatever Melmoth just did causes her to grow. If I'm going to.. preserve her, I need to stop this. With the armour gone there isn't anything to stop my ring-based abilities, so-.

    A construct-claw grabs her helmet, severs the straps holding it on her head and pulls it off. The enslaved Spine Rider takes that as its cue to dart in, dodging her expanding shoulders to stab her in the swelling neck.

    "Wraith, cut her brain's connection to the rest of her body."

    Two dozen strands of orange light connect me to her grotesque and mostly naked body as I try feeling the magics being applied to her and feed on them.

    "Master, I do not know that I can."

    "Do your best. Canis, if you can help, do so."

    "Cutting off her arms-."

    "Canis."

    "We heal back mundane injuries. Though I suppose her current.. state may impact that."

    I remove my spell eater and attach it to Aurakos with a construct necklace.

    "Let's not do anything we can't repair. I meant New God abilities."

    "Are you.. giving her to me? I did not think-."

    "Canis, less… Less Apokolips. Alright? We're trying to help her."

    "Then we should destroy her. Being twisted into something other than what we are is a most supreme torture for a New God." He comes a little closer, looking at the twitching abomination before us with… Actual distaste rather than the fascination he usually shows in situations like this. "I think that is what New Genesis would do."

    "If she wants to destroy herself once she's back in her right mind, she can. First, we try and help her."
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2020
  20. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2017
    Messages:
    638
    Likes Received:
    4,553
    WWNGD?

    Something Canis has likely never asked himself before.
     
  21. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2014
    Messages:
    9,741
    Likes Received:
    38,259
    Reasonable.
     
  22. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2019
    Messages:
    2,861
    Likes Received:
    17,210
    Nice. Melmoth lost his secret weapon and Paul might gain a useful ally/tool, assuming she doesn't destroy herself later. Are we going to see Paul use his Avarice flavored Godspeech more in the future?
     
  23. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,301
    Maybe remove the -

    Careful, she may decide to leave you for someone else, like Ragnar.

    Women love a man that likes to fight and has a name that sounds vaguely viking like.

    Maybe 'near the center'

    New Gods can regrow lost limbs without medical assistance?

    Maybe 'looking at'

    To be fair they probably do that to Apokaliptians and turning an Apokaliptian into something that isn't an Apokaliptian is probably one of the most noble things you could do.

    Zoat did Paul build a temple for Hades on Tamaran like he did on Karna?

    Tamaran doesn't have a death god, or probably even an afterlife, so it would make sense for him to do it, and I bet the Tamaraneans would be willing to let him do it, seeing as he basically freed them and killed their enemies.

    Introducing Helios to them could also be productive, seeing as he's a sun god, so some of them may become interested in what he has to offer and start worshipping him.

    He can certainly offer more to a race like Tamaraneans than he can offer to humans, seeing as they absorb sunlight for their powers.

    X'hal doesn't seem to interact with or do anything for the Tamaraneans so they may be interested in a god that does interact with them and do things for them, and they can also potentially get an afterlife to go to after they die.

    Maybe 'if I can'

    Good news for your SI.

    In the part 5 chapter of Deadly dealings of It's an Unliving the SI in it now has what will most likely be a worse relationship with his version of Melinoe than your SI and his version of Melinoe, and it all happened a few minutes after meeting her.

    edit:Just read the part 6 that was released an hour ago and I may have been wrong.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2020
  24. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2019
    Messages:
    4,734
    Likes Received:
    17,223
    It's complicated.
    Hype!
    That's fortunate. You should take out one of your rings, just in case.
    Orange italics text is fully acting as OL's equivalent of Godspeech, apparently.
    XD Canis is trying his best.
    Because that's what heroes do.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2020
  25. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,301
    In the words of Kite Man.

    "Hell yeah!'

    Yep, pretty much.

    It's adorable when he tries it.
     
  26. Z000

    Z000 If this is trash, then find me in the dumpster

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2014
    Messages:
    3,084
    Likes Received:
    11,755
    the fact that he trying say alot

    Earth have finally gotten to him

    he growing some amount of brain from exposure to all the sheer weekly bullshit
     
  27. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2014
    Messages:
    1,003
    Likes Received:
    11,009
    I'm kinda hoping that Canis asks OL later, why? Why not let her go?

    Why try to fix things?


    And OL, being the kind of monster he is, explains that the reason he does almost anything, is because he wants the Universe to Work a certain way.


    And, if he was a little less... solid.... that way, Canis would most likely be dead, eaten by barely controlled Orange Light.



    (I call him a monster, because he's not really human any more, is he?)
     
  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,301
    Just because Paul may no longer have a human mindset doesn't mean that he's a monster.

    Plenty of humans can be monsters.

    Paul is abnormal but he's not some sadistic creature that enjoys suffering and pain.

    Would you call the likes of Diana and Koriand'r monsters because they're not human, but a Titan and alien?

    A lot of people also do things because they want the universe to work a certain way, Paul is just more honest about that and tends to state that more often.

    Canis dying also isn't exactly that big of a tragedy.

    While we consider him to be funny and playfully insane, he is also a remorseless monster that enjoys the pain of others and has committed atrocities, like destroying civilizations and enslaving potentially millions.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2020
  29. Fellow

    Fellow Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    677
    It's alright OL, I'm sure it happens to the best of us. Maybe next time she'll spring into action.
     
  30. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    2,150
    Likes Received:
    33,439
    Once again, the balancing factor kicks in. After all, she can't disintegrate things by touching them. If she could, this fight would probably have ended a lot faster... Like rocket tag.

    He's holding her that far off the ground? Or is his armour that much larger that he's like eight feet tall? Either way, that stomp-stab thing would have hurt. Good dodge.

    Nice tactic. If she falls down under you, your mass will drive the sword into her head. Try to twist, you get an opening to stab her anyway. The only problem...

    ...Is the injuries you've already taken. Might want to down a potion from your little sippy straw dispenser. :p

    And if I understand the narrative effects of her Source-powered godspeech earlier, that means she's now disarmed. I suspect OL's knives are about to start playing up, unless her fists count as equal to them.

    Really missing that pain-suppression capability, huh? Dropping twenty-plus feet in about a half-ton of armour, plus the 150-odd kilograms of New God Zombie can't be pleasant.

    Okay, it's not counting her as disarmed enough to futz up your blades. And you nearly got the decapitation too. Keep this up and you might grind out the win.

    Ah. The Wraith found a maggot about to pop, huh? I was right, this is messy. Ew.

    Boy, Best Snake usually doesn't take this long when he calls her, does she? And good use of strength-boosts. You don't often see people fight like this in the comics.

    Wow, she is either out of range or really distracted by something. Or the Orange Light Entity around here doesn't answer to that name...

    Oooh, looks like picking up some of the top-end talents of the Orange Light shaman tree is finally paying off. This looks something like Grayven pushing his Godly senses into action...

    I would be so tempted to reply with something like 'Your worst nightmare: A Fanboy with a Power RIng.' or something similar. At least OL managed to surprise him with that.

    Oof. That gives her the advantage again, because she's a lot faster. Hopefully she doesn't go after Canis to recover her sword.

    And both New Gods wince at the less-than subtle not-quite-Godspeech. Bet he sounds like a screaming toddler to their divine senses.

    Well, at least he's allowed to heal up when given the chance. It's not going to make much difference in the long run, his armour is more likely to break before he runs out of potions...

    Nice, work that narrative aspect. Push her to resist the mental control!

    It's a trope for a reason, swirly-cheeks. And New Gods operate on narrative tropes, baby!

    I wonder how that plays in the narrative of the battle. Does the Wraith count as a follower, or equipment? And will her challenge allow it to affect her?

    Ah, the bastard's control is weakening her New God aspect. She can't maintain the terms of the challenge. This fight is over, then.

    Oh, crap! She's pulling a Tetsuo! Must be a side-effect of the Grundification. Her body must be trying to regenerate dozens of people's bodies from the blood in her veins. And hopefully that's enough to make Melmoth reconsider the concept... Unless he decides to use her as a bomb.

    Should make it easier to prevent her from thrashing around while he.. operates on her. Hopefully he can preserve her mind, because that regeneration is likely trying to do the same thing inside her skull...

    Good way to defuse her New God traits: Empty the tank of magical energy. Let's hope it works, I want to see what she's like without Melmoth whispering in her head.

    That may be a good idea, given the rapid mutation. It's gross, but a good idea. The only problem is if other body parts start doing the same thing.

    Which we've seen with Grayven. Remember all the times he's had to regrow fingers after they get cut/shot/torn off? Regrowing his eyes? Never mind the internal injuries he's recovered.

    So, plug Mother Box into her, let it try and regulate her bodily recovery. Good plan, Mother Box knows New God physiology better than OL does.

    She's a defeated foe, Canis, but she is not spoils of war. No enslaving, no abuse and definitely no rape. Wouldn't be surprised if that's what she expected them to do, if she lost the fight. After all, she comes from an ancient era, where that sort of thing would be normal...

    After all, if that's what she wants, then who are they to stop her? But as far as OL is concerned, that's a choice she can only make once she's whole... I'm also impressed that Canis could make such an observation as he did. He's come such a long way in such a short time (less than a year since he arrived, isn't it?)

    And so the fight ends, not with one standing in triumph over the other, but in a desperate struggle to keep the defeated foe alive. Quite the interesting flow to its narrative, in New God terms. Seeing her recover should provide very interesting story threads in future. Of course, there's still the matter of things like the captured Columbians and Melmoth's rampaging Sheeda creatures to be dealt with too.
    (Late post again, Mr Zoat. Old World Blues again?:D)

    ...her armour shuddering in response to forces...
     
Loading...