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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Yeah, when he took her through the Honden her robes seemed to be almost stuck in it and she was worried.
     
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  2. jaelin910

    jaelin910 habitual lurker

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    ...obviously it won't work but how exactly do you expect it to backfire?
     
  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2021
  4. BartlettMagic

    BartlettMagic peekaboo, you fucks you!

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    maybe "...you have, no problem, but i'm..." or "...you have - no problem - but i'm..."

    that sentence feels like it needs to have more pauses and less run-on
     
  5. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Characters don't speak with perfect grammar. In this case, no commas best represents how he said it.
     
  6. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Perhaps the bulges are divine.

    Though pectoral muscles that are clearly breasts is a common thing in fanart.
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Possibly.

    And in the comics.

    Seriously, some of the chest muscles on male superheroes are sometimes bigger than a womans breasts.
     
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  8. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    how?
     
  9. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    He's had contact with sorcerors who have used the Honden, so he may have gotten information from them.

    Atlantis is an advanced magical civilization, so if they believed it would be difficult to make a defence against the Honden, then it's a safe bet to assume others would find it difficult.

    There's also Hinon, an expert on the Orange Light, who may have told him about some of its capabilities.
     
  10. Rafin

    Rafin Not too sore, are you?

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    In what context would neo-pagans call on him in particular?
     
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  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    American neo-pagans or Japanese neo-pagans?
     
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Well we have an idea for what the Japanese would call on him for.

    Ogre tentacle sex
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2021
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  13. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    Were all of his disciples in on the fix after he left?

    Obviously you're not going to get the man himself unless his life preservation method works like WoD Mummies and actually sends his spirit to the afterlife while his body is in stasis, but contact several of his (presumably also famous) direct students should be very possible.

    If if the institutional 'whites are lesser people' situation was something that took several generations to grow onto, you have several venerated people telling you how they learned all they knew from a White Martian.

    Or if it was something like how some Christianity was supposed to work, where Jesus intended all those with full priestly investure (the bishops) to be equal an independent, and then the ones who actually did the work of establishing the church after Jesus left (either Peter or Paul), started saying that no, all later bishops are subordinated to the one who presided in Rome.

    In that case, you could have one of the most famous disciples telling you the current party line, and all the others saying, "Ah, no. None of that is from Kormag. That is all the fabrication of that loon over there. You really shouldn't be listening to him, he's just a predatory opportunist saying whatever benefited himself the most."

    EDIT:
    I thought the Coulans were interned in large blocks.

    And that you should be able to sever the blocks so they cannot communicate with each other. Which was something the Honor Guard would have done when severing the Tyrants ability to project power into the real world, or gain actionable intelligence from it.

    The Tyrants are trapped inside the Coulans Meat Brains, using them as hostages. But it's not all 60 billion in one network, more like several separate networks where there are bunkers of 100,000 to a few million hostages.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2021
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  14. pervyshyguy

    pervyshyguy Getting sticky.

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    Is that supposed to lounge?
     
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  15. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Usually.
    No, they're all networked. Some parts are just closer to each other than the others.
     
  16. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Because he's resting the linchpin of his plan on it working.
     
  17. Threadmarks: Back Seat (part 13)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    5th July 2012
    02:22 GMT


    Euphorix looks like a pretty nice place to live. I'm looking at Aesad -the capital city- and even the most densely populated part could pass for a park on most worlds. I guess this is what splendid isolation gets you. Though I'm… Curious. This is the capital, but I'm not seeing any structures which strike me as being particularly old. Some places do build new capitals to signal the start of a new age, but it's far more common to build the new atop the old. Total disregard for history is extremely unusual.

    I've picked up a few open uses of magic, but it appears to be restricted to a small portion of the population. Euphorix is governed like a scaled down version of the Crown Imperium so I wouldn't be astonished to learn that magic education was restricted to the ruling class, but… I suppose it could be a heritable trait, or require a particular ritual to connect people to the local thaumosphere. I can't assume that the magic system here works in exactly the same way as the one on Earth.

    Psychic abilities are similarly limited. As far as I can tell, almost the entire population has a really low level of psychic ability, with a tiny proportion having higher levels. As much as I can tell from the way people are dressed, that doesn't appear to be an aristocratic thing.

    I glance up.

    The colour of the sky is a little off-putting. It's still blue, but the planetary shield is changing the visible wavelengths just enough that it's a weirdly deep blue. All the time. I suppose that.. could be something to do with the weather control system as well; there aren't any clouds at the moment and I suspect that there won't be any until just before a downpour.

    Okay, time to get to work. Armour in subspace, fabricate some local clothing… I look enough like the local men that I shouldn't draw enough attention to need a holographic disguise. Queen Kalista was kind enough to provide me with a document seal which should get me past the palace guards. There's no one obvious entry point to the palace grounds, but… If I drop down behind this titanic tree that should conceal me from observers…

    And I'm on the ground. The local grass wannabe feels like a sort of spongy cactus underfoot. Scan a local single person vehicle… One of the hover bikes should do. Fairly standard. Fabricate that… And get on, activating the impeller system and heading for the closest road. Not a lot of traffic here, though I'm not sure if that's because of the time of day or… The locals just aren't that interested in moving around. I turn onto the road without difficulty and accelerate towards the palace entrance.

    No one challenges me as I approach. There's no fortification; it looks like the road carries on to an underground parking area while the pedestrian entrance leads to something that looks more like a hotel foyer than the more militarised entrances I'm used to on Earth. I suppose that if they're unified internally and locked off externally there isn't anything like as much need for that-

    Alert! Spell Eater temperature increasing!

    -though that doesn't mean that there aren't passive measures in place.

    Since I don't immediately get jumped by Euphorian marines I reduce my speed and turn down into the car park. Nodding approvingly at the clearly marked parking spaces I park my bike and then jog back up the entry ramp to the main entrance. I push on the door… Yes, it's really just a matter of pushing it and walking inside.

    A standard pattern humanoid woman manning the desk smiles at me.

    "Business at the palace?"

    "Courier, ma'am." I take the message packet with the royal seal on it. "Message for the Regent, to be delivered into his hand."

    She raises a sceptical eyebrow.

    "On paper? Is someone playing a prank?"

    "They just give me these things. Look, just check the seal and if the joke's on me then I'll go home and thump the dispatcher."

    She snorts, takes the packet and waves the seal over a scanner built into the desk. Then her face falls in shock and she drops it.

    "Ma'am?"

    "Wouldyoupleasejustwaitrighthere?"

    "Sure?"

    She rises from her seat and dashes to an adjacent room, the door closing behind her. I give her a moment, then lean over the desk and recover my package. I'm not exactly deeply under cover here; Primus just told me to 'present the seal and request an audience', otherwise I'd have bothered to find out what the official protocol was. My idea is to see if Regent Alonzo tries the tried and tested 'panic, fingers in ears, lash out' stages of megalomaniac grief management or if he accepts the situation and does what Queen Kalista is clearly expecting him to and lower the shield.

    The receptionist bustles back in, an unconvincing smile on her face.

    "Hiiii."

    I do my best to look like a confused courier.

    "Ma'am?"

    "They'll-. Someone will be down in a moment to show you up. Obviously the Regent works in a secure sector, so they'll need to take you through security."

    I nod.

    "Okay? Honestly, I was expecting a little more security to get this far."

    I try to look harmless as my rings show me guards in the upper levels dashing for the lifts, the ones who aren't flat out diving out of the building and relying on their armour's g-diffuser to allow them to descend in safety.

    Oh my. That lift moves fast. Faster than terminal velocity. It's actually quite hard to make them-.

    The marines exit the lift in good but quick order, forming what probably isn't supposed to look like a cage around me. At least their weapons are stowed. After taking a moment to assure themselves that nothing is about to explode -and I note that the drop-troopers outside are establishing a perimeter, oh joy- the head of the detail steps closer.

    "Courier?"

    "Ah, yes? Yes sir?"

    "Not yet, but we've got the Graalsun honours list coming up, so nose twitching, huh?" He smiles. "Just gotta do a quick scan, then we can take you up."

    "Sure. Go right ahead."

    Two troopers with mobile multiphasic scanners approach on either side, and as they work I have my rings falsify the results so that I look like a local. One who isn't wearing power rings. They're done in a few seconds, then step back.

    "Okay, no contraband of any kind. I'm… Not seeing you in the system."

    I stop smiling quite so much.

    "No. You wouldn't, would you?"

    Slight intake of breath as he understands what I'm implying, then he half-turns to address the room.

    "First squad, back in the lift. Everyone else, you know what to do." He turns back to me. "Please come with me, Mister..?"

    "Illustres. Sure. Just…" I take a half-step towards the lift. "Up there?"

    "Just up there."

    "Wow. I've never met the Regent before." I walk into the lift, the squad falling in around me as the doors hiss closed. "Will he want me to wait for a reply?"
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2021
  18. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

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    Japanese Shinto isn't neo-paganism because it isn't a reconstruction; it's a direct continuation of their ancient pagan practices.
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'show me' or 'ring shows'

    Don't remember much about this guy from the renegade side, but he did seem interested in keeping his power, so he may do this.

    Or he could try to give it back to Kalista if he sees she has a Lantern asking him to do it and thinks their greatly allied, even if Paul may not care all that much who rules so long as they aren't evil and are good leaders.
     
  20. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Pau-aul, stop teasing the locals, it isn't nice :D

    Lots of fun though.

    Question: why would isolation lead to a nice capital city?
     
  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They may also have other religious practices that would be considered neo-pagan and don't have a connection to Shintoism or any other similar beliefs.

    Lots of neo-pagans worship Gaia, even if they aren't Greek, or have any Greek ancestry, so it wouldn't be shocking if some Japanese also do something similar.
     
  22. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They are probably secure in their safety due to the shield protecting their planet, so instead of making the capital well-defended they decided to make it beautiful.

    No need to waste resources on defenses for the capital when their shield can protect them.
     
  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    The Renegade is reasonably sure that ancient Shinto practitioners didn't worship him.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  24. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Hmm... Did they construct a city designed from the ground up for their capital? It's not uncommon for nations to make custom cities for a capital, especially after a period of conflict or an independence push. Just look at places like Canberra or Brasilia.

    Let's hope it's not a class-based restricted thing. That just leads to all manner of arrogant ideas about blood purity and the like...

    So, likely genetic rather than training. Probably not seen as anything special, then, except in cases of unusual talent, like Pren?

    Better than Highlander II's shield, which turned the sky red, if my memory serves me correctly. Imagine living with that kind of thing for years... No wonder their world sucked...

    Playing the dumb courier, eh? I suppose you could count on minor regional variations to explain your slightly non-Euphorian appearance...

    Thankfully you didn't have far to go, or you'd have the risk of getting pulled over by the local cops. I don't imagine any license plate on the vehicle is remotely legal...

    Wonder what the spell scanned for? Weapons, perhaps? I doubt they'd be allowed in the building, except in very specific cases, and they'd have exceptions written into the spellwork.

    Ah, the good old first line of internal defence: the dreaded Receptionist! :D

    I see Kallista went for the hand-written approach. I take it said Regent will recognise said handwriting, seal aside.

    Heh, no, this is just that important that it should be done the old-fashioned way...

    And the cat has been set out of the bag and amongst the pigeons. :p

    ...Are you sure she hasn't had exposure to the Garrick serum? :V Might want to scan, just in case...

    Let's hope he's reasonable and does the latter. It'll save some explosions.

    :rolleyes: ...Yeah, that isn't suspicious behaviour at all, no sirree-bob. You'd think she'd be a little better trained for this job...

    Not hard, I suppose. Just act a little nervous, keep a firm grip on your package and smile worriedly.

    As in, 'thrown into a containment cell ASAP until they find out who sent you', you mean?

    ...Wow, they are dedicated to their job. Makes for an amusing image, though. You have to wonder what people outside are thinking, seeing guards diving out like that...

    With one hand near the grip of his sidearm, but not quite holding it, no doubt. Don't want to alarm the subject, after all.

    Hmm... I wonder if there are any significant anatomical differences between OL and the Euphorians... You know, things like the layout of internal organs, superflous bits, that kind of thing...

    Ah, I see he thought ahead. Bet there's a planetary database of all citizens, though...

    Toldja. Of course, one possible explanation is...

    ...Ah, he caught the hint. Combined with the purported message packet from someone outside the shield... He's just realised this is probably way above his paygrade. :p

    And the officer there is probably now praying to any gods he has that things go well...

    o_O ...a 'Wow' from OL? What in the world?

    Oh, tomorrow promises to be very entertaining, given this buildup. Still amazed he's getting away with the disguise, given the uncanny valley details he noted about Kallista yesterday... Now, to see how the Regent reacts...


    ...and if the joke's on me...
     
  25. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    Polytheistic religions tend to add gods from time to time so why not add The Renegade to the very long list of Kami?
     
  26. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    Whaw indeed.
     
  27. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    Now I know he said he wasn't planning on getting involved in a Civil War, but I hope he reserves the right to as they say 'if you try to kill me, I reserve the right to try and kill you right back' on the grounds that someone who would try to kill the messenger is the sort of person who is just going to be trouble later, and easier to work with the person who was willing to actually work with you. And who now owes you a favor.
     
  28. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

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    He's trying to stay in role of 'just some courier'. He's doing a bit. Even affecting local accent and everything. The deception is so good it even bleeds into the Fourth Wall apparently.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2021
  29. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    He may not be all that powerful.

    When the renegade dealt with him he thought that his telepathy was weaker than M'ganns and Psimons.

    Granted those two are very, very powerful, so Pren may be considered powerful by the standards of his people.

    Unless your favorite color is red.

    Unless it's the women that are uncanny valley, while the males look like regular humans.

    Hostile intent is also a possiblity.

    An electronic message could be potentially faked, but if he recognizes the handwriting.

    I think he just may be, but if he's not then I blame you.

    This was probably not covered in her job training.

    Again, maybe it's just the females.

    As for the regent, I predict he will either try to fight this, try to bribe Paul, or actually just lower the shields.
     
  30. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    Though

    I really expected this to already be mentioned, so I didn't bother.
    But since it seems both of the main spell correctors missed it...
     
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