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How I Saved History (Fate/Grand Order SI)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Charles Flynn, Apr 22, 2020.

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  1. Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Not really. For all his jerkassery and dislike of Charlie, Galahad is still his ally. This is his problem too.

    And don't forget: While Georgios was largely the one who snapped Charlie out of Nero's aura's effects, Galahad was still the one who ran to find him.

    Regardless of his dislike of his Master, Galahad's still not going to leave him out to dry. Admittedly, he will inevitably rub Charlie's face in how he saved him, and is therefore better than him, but he did save him all the same.
     
  2. Exist Error

    Exist Error Versed in the lewd.

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    I'm speaking of the annoyance of the MC is having in dealing with Nero not the invasion talk
     
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  3. Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Oh, yeah. He is enjoying the hell out of Charlie's frustration.
     
  4. Threadmarks: Chapter 43
    Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    After having spent three hours strategizing with Nero, I can safely say that when Seneca said she never paid attention to his lessons on military tactics, he wasn't kidding. I had to actually explain to her why sending all of our forces out to run straight at the enemy while screaming like lunatics was a bad idea. Twice. And since she can't seem to pay attention or fucking listen to us for more than thirty seconds at a time, none of our explanations seemed to get through to her. Not helping matters was the fact that any and all other military experts we called in who weren't my Servants unfailingly agreed with everything Nero said, no matter how utterly wrong it was. Finally, however, we managed to lure her away by telling her that the people wanted another concert.

    The misfortune of Nero's audience turned out to be our gain. Finally, we can have a planning session that isn't all about her, all the time. Vlad quickly takes the lead, thanks to his Military Tactics skill. Georgios, for his part, contributes on how the cavalry can be incorporated into the plan. Finally, we devise our strategy: We'll run a defensive war, remaining inside Rome's walls. We'll also sneak a cavalry division, led by Georgios, out of the city in advance, in order to attack Hannibal's army from behind should he lay siege to us. Vlad will serve as point defense on the walls, while Kojirou serves as the emperor's bodyguard. Hassan, for his part, will be sneaking into the enemy camp and attempting to assassinate Hannibal. Either by poisoning his food or by ripping his heart out. Meanwhile, I'll stay back with Xuanzang and Tamamo, ready to push the enemy back if they break through the walls.

    The Romans were initially hesitant to resort to assassination, to be sure, but I managed to win them over by referencing a few exempla.

    And thus, we set out to ready our defense, and, in my case, find a solid excuse to avoid Nero for a week.

    ---​

    Hannibal arrives after a week, and we're ready for him.

    'He's parading past the city. Taunting us in order to make us come out and fight us head on, just like he did during the Second Punic War. He doesn't have the forces to manage a proper siege.' Vlad sends to me from atop the wall.

    Right. All we have to do in order to force him to come to us. Fortunately, nobody's stupid enough to rise to his taunting.

    'Master, there is a problem.' Kojirou informs me.

    'What the hell is she- Nero has taken the field!' Vlad sends to me, before launching into a profanity laden tirade about her stupidity.

    I get a sinking feeling in my gut. 'Did anyone tell Nero the plan?'

    'I tried,' Georgios offers. 'But she kept getting distracted halfway through. When I asked her if she understood, she just said that she knew what to do and it would be fine.' A pause. 'I really should have been more specific in my questioning.'

    'Did she at least bring a proper legion in marching order?' I ask, feeling a sinking in my stomach.

    'No. I think she's just got a bunch of civilians with swords.' Vlad sends back. 'They just ran straight out of the gate screaming "FOR NERO!" Most of them aren't even wearing armor.'

    I take a short, five minute break in order to extensively curse out Nero, and every ancestor whose utterly boneheaded decision to reproduce led to the creation of that ultimate culmination of pure stupidity. Once that's done, I send to Kojirou, 'Has she gotten herself killed yet?'

    'No. The entire force she went out with has been slaughtered to the man, but she and I have managed to survive against the enemy, largely because Hannibal is laughing too hard to actually give his troops orders right now.'

    'Right, change of plans. We need to save her. Georgios, start that cavalry charge. Vlad, prepare to defend. Kojirou, start retreating towards the gates and take her with you. I'lll send Tamamo and Xuanzang to meet you halfway. Hasan, do your thing. We can still salvage this.'

    'Do we have to save her?' Vlad whines. 'At this point, I think we can just call it natural selection.'

    'Think about it this way, Vlad. Are you entirely sure that Rome would still fall if it hadn't spent so many years hamstrung by her blithering incompetence?'

    'You raise a fair point, Master. Right, saving her it is.'

    As Tamamo and Xuanzang dash off ahead, I make my way up the walls to stand besides Vlad.

    Dear God, I hope the rest of the Singularity won't be like this.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2020
  5. Truck-Sama

    Truck-Sama An adventure awaits...

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    *Facepalm*
    Nero you had one job! One job!
     
  6. Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Nero: "To be unconditionally loved and adored by everybody and given everything I've ever wanted?"
     
  7. EVA-Saiyajin

    EVA-Saiyajin Connoisseur.

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    This is quite the unfortunate role you’ve taken in this branch of the Kaleidoscope Nero.
     
  8. Threadmarks: Chapter 44
    Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    "Jugurtha lies slain!" Nero bellows enthusiastically from the stage. "By my blade, and the noble sacrifices of the brave Romans that fought beside me, the great menace has been ended!"

    Over in the back of the crowd, with Vlad and Galahad besides me, I sigh. "She's not even getting the name right."

    "Did you really expect her to?" Vlad asks, shaking his head at my foolishness.

    "No, because I already know she's an idiot. The stupid still burns, though."

    "Cheer up, worm," Galahad offers, patting me on the back. "She still ends up dying horribly after killing everyone she loves, as you yourself pointed out."

    "You're being uncharacteristically nice," I comment.

    "After I actually got to know her, I found that I hated her more than I hate you."

    I blink. "Yeah. I can totally see that. Not two hours after a bloody battle, and she's already up and wasting even more of the treasury on concerts and gladiator games. I know where she's getting the money, but where the Hell is she getting the energy?"

    "From being the Anti-Christ?" Vlad suggests. He had been a bit smug about that little factoid proving true ever since we interrogated Seneca.

    "Eh. Maybe. How long do you think it'll take for her to edit us out of the story? She's already 'forgotten' the bit where Hassan killed Hannibal by stabbing him in the back while he was laughing at Nero's dumbassery."

    "Twelve sesterces says its in the first five minutes." Vlad offers. I take him on the bet, and then we settle down to watch. We'll have to leave Rome soon, to hunt down the United Roman Empire. And also because I don't think I can stand to be around Nero much longer without trying to strangle her. In less than a week, I'll be off travelling through Europe, with Nero safely ensconced in Rome where I'll never have to see her again!

    "We cannot allow ourselves to lose the momentum! The vile traitors of the United Roman Empire cannot be permitted to continue to live! And so, tomorrow, I will be heading out on campaign, to take back what is Rome's!"

    I mean, they've already paid us all that we need, and I've managed to scan back a boatload of lost works, so- Wait, what?

    No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

    "Indeed, accompanying me as my praetor on this expedition shall be loyal Carlus, who has proven himself a loyal citizen of Rome a thousand times over!"

    -nonononononononononono-

    "Together, we shall end this blight upon our great Empire, and restore peace and tranquility to all of Rome! Carlus! Join me! I have composed an ode to our coming victory!"

    NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  9. Torchbearer96

    Torchbearer96 Making the rounds.

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    Somebody better get the MC a stress ball or twenty.
     
  10. Threadmarks: Chapter 45
    Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    "Did you really have to knock me out?" I ask, glaring at Galahad as I massage my sore head.

    "Given you looked like you were about to charge onto the stage and beat her to death with your bare hands? Yes."

    I sigh and lean back in my chair.

    "Worm, it's not the end of the world."

    "No, but it makes me wish it was." I groan. "She made me her second-in-command. I'm going to be spending multiple hours in her presence."

    "At least you can keep her from doing anything too stupid." Vlad offers. Georgios nods in agreement.

    "Yeah. I suppose I can." I smile. Maybe this won't be so- Wait, no. Don't tempt Murphy! Don't tempt Murphy!

    ---​

    Five days later, I slump down in my cot.

    "Roman?" I ask to my unseen observer on Chaldea. "Can we please kill her?"

    "She's still vital to the course of history, Charlie," the good Doctor admonishes me.

    "She left without even organizing the supply train! And when the troops started starving, she made me fix it! She makes me fix all of her fuckups, Roman! I barely get any sleep, I'm constantly working, and I have ADHD! Completing paperwork is borderline physically painful for me, and she's making me do mountains of it! And she never stops complaining. 'We didn't bring enough slaves, Praetor, purchase more for me!' 'This bed is too uncomfortable, Praetor, find a better one for me!' 'I'm putting on a concert, Praetor, have everyone who doesn't clap executed for me!' She just. Doesn't. Stop. And when she isn't complaining, she's hitting on me! I. Can't. Take it anymore!" I finally break down crying into my bedding. "Just let me kill her!"

    "He does have a point, Doctor." Galahad points out. "She's so utterly obnoxious that I can't even relish his suffering. It's actually somewhat disconcerting."

    "Look, you can't just have her killed." Roman maintains. "Look, just try delegating to your Servants."

    "Alright. But if I have to keep doing this for much longer, I'm killing her, Human History be damned. I'm rapidly approaching the point where I don't want to live in a world where she has ever existed."

    Roman sighs, but doesn't belabor the point.

    ---​

    "Ahoy the camp!" our envoy calls.

    We're finally here, after a whole, agonizing two weeks of putting up with Nero's bullshit. I sigh in relief as Nero's two generals ride up to greet us.

    One's a huge, grey-skinned blond in a gimp suit. The other's... I blink. A woman? She's tall, with red hair, and a harsh cast to her face, two vicious eyes glaring out as she rides up to us on her chariot, her hair and fur cloak billowing in the wind. Actually, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that she was...

    "Boudica! Spartacus! How lovely to see you again!" Nero calls out cheerfully.

    What? No, seriously, what the actual fuck?
     
  11. EVA-Saiyajin

    EVA-Saiyajin Connoisseur.

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    a bizarre thing to see in the same update.
     
  12. Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Yeah. That was one of my quibbles with the original Septem.

    Particularly with the scene where Boudica tries to drag Fujimaru and Mash off to the Roman baths. She mentions that even Spartacus relaxes in them, which is odd, because Roman baths were staffed entirely by slaves. Furthermore, most Roman bath complexes were heated, not by natural hot springs, but by the constant labors of dozens of slaves feeding the furnaces underneath every bath complex. They were places of luxury and comfort operated and powered exclusively by the unseen suffering of a dehumanized underclass. The Roman Empire in a nutshell, really.
     
  13. EVA-Saiyajin

    EVA-Saiyajin Connoisseur.

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    Now I’m expecting that to be pointed out by Master!Charlie and the result to be either broken minds, broken reality, or everything on fire.
     
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  14. Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Do you really think they're working for her entirely of their free will?

    After all, who can say no to Nero?
     
  15. Ryven Razgriz

    Ryven Razgriz Not too sore, are you?

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    Aight that was a fun comedy time, now we get to see the SI look at Booty-ca and his reaction to her.... everything.
     
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  16. Reality_Impact

    Reality_Impact Abyssal Lurker

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    Seeing Charlie have another breakdown once he meets Spartacus and Boudica will be fun.
     
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  17. Threadmarks: Chapter 46
    Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    You know, before spending a week in Nero's company, I would have freaked out over two of Rome's greatest enemies commanding Roman legions. Now, though? I just felt dead inside.

    "It is good to see you as well, Nero!" Boudica calls back cheerfully. "Why, I was beginning to wonder why, exactly, I was fighting for you, but the sight of you reminds of it all the more. Come on into camp, and don't mind the bodies. I had to have the troops decimated five times for being too Roman, and we can't spare enough manpower for the mass graves anymore."

    Nero, for once her life, actually pays attention to something someone says. Does she only have ears for redheads? In which case, I suppose I can chalk Nero-wrangling up on the list of 'Things My Sister Would Do Better Than Me.' Her brow furrows, and she turns to me. "Praetor?"

    "Yes?" Oh, I know where this is going.

    "It seems that somebody needs to explain to General Boudica that you're supposed to kill your enemies' troops, and not your own. I'd do it myself, but I have a concert. Be a dear and talk to her about it?"

    "Yes, My Emperor." I agree with a sigh. Well, I had wanted the chance to question her myself, why look a gift horse in the mouth?

    ---​

    "Queen Boudica? May I enter?" I call, standing outside the tent of the Iceni's queen. Normally, there would be a guard on duty, but all of the soldiers stationed here had been dragged off for Nero's concert. Honestly, it was a small miracle that I managed to persuade her to leave a few to stand watch as sentries.

    "You may." The woman inside the tent calls back. I pull back the tent flap and step inside. She sits at her desk, staring down at the missives strewn across it. She's changed out of the breastplate she wore before, into simple riding leathers. Her cloak has been haphazardly tossed over the bed. When she sees me, her face hardens. "Nero's praetor. To what do I owe this visit?"

    "Please don't call me that. I'm not even a Roman citizen. She hired me as a mercenary, and then decided I was her praetor without any regard to her people's traditions." I sigh. "Honestly, just hearing the word makes me wince. She only calls for me when she wants her stupidity fixed."

    Boudica's face softens a bit. "Well, then. Come and grab a seat."

    I comply, and then turn to face her. "Anything interesting?" I gesture at the missives on the desk.

    "No idea. I don't know how to read, and Nero dragged my scribe off to that concert of hers."

    "Hm." Well, time for a leap of faith. "Are you aware that you're a Servant?"

    She freezes. "Yes. I do know that." She turns and looks at me with suspicion. "The question is, how do you?"

    "Well, as for how I know about Servants, I'm the Master of Chaldea." I pause. "um, you do know-"

    "I do know about Chaldea. And the Singularities. I was summoned by the World with that knowledge." She informs me, crossing her arms. "I also got a description of what you look like, although I'm afraid I didn't recognize you in that armor."

    "It's costume armor, actually. Nero insisted I dress the part, and when I tried on the actual armor I could barely walk. So, she hit up her personal theater's costume department."

    Boudica snorts. "So, you're working with Nero. Makes sense, she's perfect, after all." She says it in the same formulaic way as every one of Nero's sycophants did, and suddenly, I come to realize exactly how Nero got the fiery queen and rebellious gladiator to work for her.

    "Ah, yes. About that. I was wondering why you were working for her." I offer, redirecting the conversation. It's a risk, but, well, I actually like her. Letting her stay obliviously brainwashed just rubs me the wrong way.

    "Well, it's obvious, isn't it? She's perfect, so working for her means I can kill more Romans than I ever could otherwise." her face falls as she seems to process what she just said. "Wait... No, I-" A slack-jawed expression of utter horror sweeps over her face, swiftly followed by blinding, all-consuming rage. "THAT BITCH! I'LL KILL HER!"

    "And end Rome's suffering?" I ask in English. I don't think there are any observers about, but it never hurts to take precautions.

    "What are you talking about?" she snaps, switching over to English as well.

    "Well, first, I should ask just what it is you want, Queen Boudica. Do you wish to merely kill Romans? Or do you wish to make them suffer?" I emphasize the last word, drawing out every syllable with a vicious, malefic glee.

    "I-"

    "Because you want them to suffer, you'll let Nero live." Right, she's already bought my argument's hook. Now, all that remains is to reel her in.

    "Really?" she scoffs. "They love Nero."

    "Like you did?" She freezes as she processes the implication. "They are no more immune to her presence than you were. That dawning horror you just felt? They experience that every waking day, bound to her by chains they cannot break, loathing her even as they crave her, at once violating everything they hold to be good and right, and at the same time longing for more. For Nero to live, is for Rome to suffer."

    "But-"

    "And that forced adulation? She doesn't even know she's doing it. She goes blissfully about her day, completely unaware that all the love and praise she has been granted is hollow and forced. She thinks she's a genius!" I laugh. "Boudica, I can assure you, speaking as one of the many people she delegates the responsibility of cleaning up her messes to, that is most certainly not the case. She'll run Rome into the ground with not a single person even able to so much as complain about it."

    Boudica pauses, face slightly flushed. "But, even still, how can Rome be destroyed by a Roman? What ruin can Nero truly bring?"

    "I call myself a Chaldean, do I not? But poor oracle, I, that I should deliver no prophecy!" I boom, my voice rising as I go through my lines with gusto. Honestly, even when persuading a woman who could kill me with a sneeze not to screw up my mission, I can't help but ham things up. "I think I'll fix that oversight now. In four years, Rome will burn." Boudica seems almost hypnotized at the thought. "Its shops and streets will smolder, its buildings burn, and district after district shall be consumed in the ever-growing inferno. Father, mother, and child will perish alike. Patrician and plebeian will be devoured without distinction. Ancient tomes and priceless reminders of times long gone will be no more, a past consumed by flame. And when the deadly crackle of the flames is done, once Romans have died in agony, their flesh melting off in giblets from their cooked bones, leaving nothing but charred corpses behind, the roar of the fire will be eclipsed by the wails of the bereaved." Boudica is practically panting, for some reason, her face flushed. "And do you want to know what Nero will do?"

    "Tell me." she practically moans.

    "She'll build a palace called the Domus Aurea on the charred land left bare by the fire, and tell all who can hear, 'Now, I may live as a human being!'" Boudica smiles, still panting a bit. "And then, oh, then they'll turn against her, as she taxes the very skin off their backs. And she will grow ever more paranoid, killing everyone she loves, one by one, until, at last, she dies, a whimpering, sniveling, coward to the end." Boudica certainly seems to be enjoying the description of Nero's fall. "Nero is not Rome's savior. She is its doom, a sweetness concealing poison, thrust into the Empire's heart. She is the death knell of the Empire, a punishment for its' sins."

    "Tell me more," she demands, looking me in the eyes as she does so.

    "The Empire will continue to decline, the wolves of Rome turned rabid, and feasting upon one another," I continue, keeping up the tone. "Emperor after emperor, tearing the empire apart one piece at a time, always losing more and more land, the Romans too busy tearing at each other's throats to realize their decline." I grin viciously. "And then, as Goths and Visigoths storm the streets of Rome, as the proud purple togas of the Senators are dyed red with their blood, as Rome burns, the dying screams of its people the death knell of the Empire, they will realize what they've lost. And then, and only then, will they know despair." Boudica gasps, and shudders, before subsiding into a panting, sweaty mess.

    After a few minutes of that, she collects herself. "Very well. I will consider what you have said." She gives me a 'this-never-happened' look. "You may go."

    I comply, whistling as I leave. Ally: Secured.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2020
  18. Reality_Impact

    Reality_Impact Abyssal Lurker

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    Not the weirdest thing to cum to but hey, her body her kinks.
     
  19. Quacking duck

    Quacking duck Yes, I know that’s a chicken, not a duck.

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    Wow. Your SI must have the A+ Orator skill. Wow.
     
  20. Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    He wasn't half-bad to start with, and he is well aware that his capacity for persuasion and his mythological knowledge are his greatest assets, so he's been practicing.
     
  21. Ashborn

    Ashborn So bad it's good

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    Achievement Unlocked: With a Whisper
     
  22. Threadmarks: Chapter 47
    Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    "I believe that I have explained things to her satisfaction, my Emperor," I assure Nero blandly.

    "Excellent!" she cheers, before her voice takes on a more sultry tone. "Now, then, Praetor, would you care to help me wash my back?"

    Why Nero made me report to her while she was soaking in the callidarum of the local bath complex, I will never understand. Well, I actually understand quite clearly why she did it, she wants to get into my pants, and because I can't outright reject her without suffering a variety of consequences leading up execution, my wide array of deflections and excuses have only made her want me more. What I really don't understand is why she made Spartacus join us. He's currently naked in the callidarum, seated across from her and making no effort to cross his legs, which is honestly leaving me feeling somewhat inadequate.

    I have Galahad and Georgios at my side, with Sasaki and Hassan both present in Spirit Form. Thus, I figure I'll never find a better time to test just how thoroughly Nero's Beast Aura can indoctrinate Servants.

    "To do so would be improper, my Emperor, and beneath my rank. Have one of your slaves do it, if you cannot manage it yourself." Spartacus' face outright convulses.

    "Bah. They were all defective, Praetor. Recalcitrant, ornery and disobedient! I had them all sold off to some farm somewhere after whipping them failed to produce any improvement." Nero whines, completely oblivious to how Spartacus seems to be having a seizure across the pool from her. "Now hurry up and help me wash. I've been longing to have your hands on me for some time."

    Hm. Just a little push further... "If it's slave's work, then count yourself my slave for today," Nero snaps, turning to glare at me.

    Bingo. "Very well, my master." I slowly start to kneel down, and....

    "OPRESSOR!" Spartacus roars as he lunges forwards, prepared to beat Nero to death with his bare hands. Thank you, Spartacus. Now I have a backup excuse to get out of this that isn't just telling Nero, "I'd rather stick my dick in a rabid badger than ever have sex with you."

    "Delusional Heartbeat: Zabaniya." Cursed Arm, that wonderful paragon of reliability, interjects, crushing Spartacus' heart and turning the Berserker's charge into more of a forward tumble. He still hits Nero, of course, smashing the side of the pool and sending ships of rock flying into at velocities that would cause me serious injury if not for my contract with Galahad. Heart crushed or not, Spartacus doesn't stop lashing out, smashing his fists into the Emperor's face once, twice, thrice... and he's done. He dissolves into golden light, leaving Nero battered, bruised, and bleeding in the crater he made.

    "My Emperor? Do you require my assistance?" I'm actually a bit livid at the moment, to tell the truth. Having to buy those slaves to keep Nero happy was... not easy. So, seeing as the spoiled brat proceeded to whip them and sell them off to a farm where they were promptly worked to death, I'm chalking her current circumstances down to karma. I try to contain my vicious grin.

    All I get back is a sort of burbled groan. "Right, Hassan, carry her back to her tent and call her personal physician." Hassan was usually the one I sent to interact with Nero, to be honest, which I always felt slightly guilty about. All the same, between the arm and the skull mask, I figured he was the least likely one for her to take a shine to and bring onto the target list of her little campaign of sexual harassment.

    He sighs, tosses her over his shoulder, and then headed off in the direction of Nero's tent.

    She'd be fine come morning. She could heal potentially debilitating wound overnight, so long as they weren't fatal, a fact I learned when she managed to get herself mauled by a freaking manticore on our trip up.

    And so, with both Nero and Spartacus taken care of for the night, I set off to get some sleep.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2020
  23. VociferousVidar

    VociferousVidar The Mighty Flower Snek

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    Daaaaamn, Hassan MVP, yet again. Maybe one day there'll be an opponent he can't one shot, but that will be a sad day indeed
     
  24. Ryven Razgriz

    Ryven Razgriz Not too sore, are you?

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    This is one messed up singularity. I look forward to the next one with great interest.
     
  25. Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Yeah. Turns out that , when not hamstrung by game mechanics or plot armor, an instant-death attack is super useful. Who knew?

    Beyond that, Cursed Arm is easily the one meshes best with Charlie's combat ethos: No duels, nothing showy, just kill them as quickly as possible by any means necessary.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2020
  26. Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Me too, actually. I've always sided more with Jason than Medea.
     
  27. Exist Error

    Exist Error Versed in the lewd.

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    Why?, Jason is a idiotic asshole, he literally got a goddess to brainwash Medea into loving him so she not only ended up betraying her country but make her kill her own father and them watch Jason kill her brother all because he didn't want to do the task that the King gave him in exchange of the Golden Fleece, even thought the asshole had fucking Heracles and Asclepius (A.K.A the guy that can "heal" people back to life) on his side, and yes this is canon in the mythos


    I think there was a part in the mythos where Jason and his crew left a port, got lost in the sea and unknowing ended up coming back to the port that they left and instead of getting information of where they are, they just pillage the port, only to realize where they are after everybody were dead and then there was another time where Jason stop in another port where he decide to steal from there and surprise!, it backfire and Heracles had to rescue him while killing everybody there, all the recidents did was protect they stuff from a thief, but nope, they had to die, all because Jason is a idiot,
     
  28. Threadmarks: Chapter 48
    Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    "Queen Boudica, may I tell you what an utter relief it is to have someone other than Nero to strategize with?" I ask from where I stand beside her in her chariot. The hill we're on grants us an excellent view of the unfolding battle.

    "You may." she replies, and I snort. Galahad's besides me, and Georgios is riding nearby. And before us, two legions march steadily towards each other, shield walls in formation. In the distance, I see a gold eagle held aloft, and besides it a tall, thin figure I assume to be their commander.

    'Xuanzang, is the Emperor still heading as far aware from here as humanly possible so she can't fuck this up?' I send.

    'Yes.' I get the mental equivalent of a pout. 'I'm not entirely thrilled with babysitting duty, though.'

    'As a future bodhisattva and accomplished Buddhist, I trust you to strongly resist her Beast aura.'

    'Georgios could do this just as well as I can, though.'

    'If you want to go out on the battlefield and kill, far be it from me to stop you. bit more bloodthirsty than I expected from an avowed pacifist, though.'

    That settles the argument. With that distraction out of the way, I return my attention to the battlefield.

    "We're losing." Boudica observes, her eyes sharp as she watches the fighting.

    It was plain to see. The two legions had smashed into one another, in a sort of bloody group shoving match. Pilae and arrows arced between the two blocky battle lines, and both lines still held. But ours was already being pushed back. It was impossible to know why, but the enemy just seemed to fight more vigorously. Regardless of the reason behind their superior morale, however, the result was all too clear. Our shield line had already been pushed back a dozen feet.

    "Time to flip one of our trump cards, then." I respond. "Trumpeter! Two short and one long!" I really hope that I remembered that one right.

    Yep, there we go. Two short, one long, 'Bring out the elephants!' So glad we salvaged a few from Hannibal's attack on Rome. The huge beast cause a panic in our enemies even before they reach the battle, the mere sight of them instilling terror. Our forces split open, forming two trenches for the great beasts through our ranks in a well-rehearsed maneuver. Then, the slaughter begins.

    Okay, elephants are awesome. We might not even need to bring the servants in for this one. Woops. Spoke too soon.

    As the elephants carve bloody gouges in our enemy's ranks, and our own lines advance to capitalize on our advantage, I hear the mighty thrum trebuchets on motion. Of course he set up siege weaponry emplacements. My respect for our nameless opponent rise- ARE THOSE THINGS TOSSING FUCKING MANTICORES?

    Holy shit. Holy shit. HOW? Just... just... how?

    Well, the damn spiky-tailed lion monsters are not doing my troops any favors. Time to even the odds.

    "Georgios. Circle round behind them and wait for my signal." He nods grimly. 'Vlad, kill the manticores and then start cutting a swath through the enemy. Kojirou, Tamamo, stand your ground. Hassan, start targeting and eliminating the enemy officers, using your daggers only. Understood?' A chorus of confirmations reaches me. 'Then go.'

    Both armies were thrown into disarray by our respective animal-based attacks. But our army has been drawn back to order thanks to Vlad, while theirs, although they had managed to kill the elephants, is still reeling, largely because Hassan is picking off anybody who starts barking out orders.. The trebuchets have apparently run out of tied-up manticores to throw at us, and are now just throwing rocks. Still damaging, but not formation-breaking. And so, Boudica gives the signal to advance.

    "There's something magical about watching Romans slaughter each other," she comments with a sigh, fortunately in English. "I might not even order a decimation after we're done."

    I honestly can't tell if she's joking, so I hold my tongue, looking at the enemy general. I blink. At where the enemy general used to be.

    I look about, and I see it. A tall man in a red cloak, bellowing orders as he charges to the front line, his troops forming up around him, his legion's eagle in his left hand, and his drawn sword in his right.

    Julius Caesar.

    'Attention all Servants. The enemy commander is Gaius Iulius Caesar. He can be identified by his red cloak, and is currently bearing the standard of his legion's eagle. Kojirou, keep him occupied. Tamamo, Vlad, force his troops to retreat so that we can gang up and kill him if Kojirou dies in his duel.' Admittedly, my preferred strategy would have been to group up and kill him first, but I've long since learned not to deny my Servants their little duels.

    With Caesar neutralized for the time being, the battle continues in full swing. Not expecting Kojirou to win, but-

    'Master. I have slain Caesar.'

    Okay, I have really got to stop underestimating Kojirou. With Caesar slain, his army breaks, the eagle falling to the ground.

    "Now all that's left is the wrap-up."
     
  29. Charles Flynn

    Charles Flynn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I feel like you're seriously mangling the mythology there.

    1) Jason never asked for Medea to fall in love with them.

    2) Medea didn't actually kill her father. She did, however, murder her own brother under a flag of truce, committing a kin-slaying and a truce-breaking, which are both crimes in the eyes of men and the gods that are just begging for a smiting. She also later tricked the daughters of Pelias into murdering their father, of whom she was a guest at the time, and whom her husband, Jason, had sworn he wouldn't kill, a vile deed which forced both her and Jason to flee to Corinth.

    3) When Jason (understandably) took the first opportunity he got to divorce her and marry into the local king's family, because at that point he hated her for making him break his word and forcing him to leave his hometown, she reacted by brutally and torturously murdering his new wife, Glauce, whose only crime was being used as a political bargaining chip, along with Jason's new father-in-law and all of the children she'd had by him. All to make Jason suffer, with no regard for the lives she's ended in the process. She then flew off and spent the rest of her life working her way through the various courts of Greece, betraying everyone she ever worked for, leaving Jason her dust, reviled and hated for the crimes of his wife, until, at last, he died, destitute and alone in the tattered remnants of his former glory, having lived just long enough to watch as his friends and fellow Argonauts all died young.
     
  30. gaouw

    gaouw Banishumento, Zis Warudo!!!

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    See,,, there is a bit of dissonance / perspective bias between actual myth with Nasu's Myth.

    What with 'King Arthur' is actually 'King Arturia', and that Medea does that shit since the gods made her fell in love with Jason. In fact, it's Nasu's Canon that Medea's bitterness is that the gods make her fell in love with Jason, and forcing her to do those atrocities, and then just throwing her away the moment it's convenient for him.

    Just saying.
     
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