I'm a 25-year-old Asian guy with a steady job (I'm a teacher, by the way). Sooner or later, like many Asian guys with steady jobs, my time as a bachelor will soon end and become a married man.
So, the question here is that is it a good idea for me to stay active here in QQ even as a married man? I mean, putting all the lewd contents aside, managing quests here in QQ (and by extension, other forums such as SB and SV) requires free time and dedication. Getting hitched and starting a family will rob me both of these things.
Also, things will get weird if my prospective wife learns that I write smut.
I believe that I may have to retire from questing entirely once I get married. Well, not now, but perhaps a year or two from now. What do you guys think? Should I continue or should I stop once I become a married man?
I'm married, been with my girl for over a decade, married for the better part of that time, have two daughters.
General marriage experience: Yes, you will lose free time, and it'll be by inches. You'll have to adjust to trying to do activities that you are both involved in, whereas anything that you could do solo was fine before. You'll make time to spend with her. If or when kids come along, you will have time taken up trying to split childcare and raising between you and your wife. She's not going to handle 100% of the diapers and discipline. You will lose time. That's just a factor of you needing to make time for your wife - to spend together, do household maintenance, etc.
That's not the only loss of time - when I got married the first cut was a loss of gaming time - yeah, I can't go crash at a friends' house and play D&D for 8 hours on Sunday, then go play Warhammer with other friends for another 5-6 hours on Monday, then maybe have a secondary campaign running on Thursdays for a few hours. Sunday gaming is cut to 4 hours, Monday gaming to 3. No Thursdays - that's just the time send more with her than gaming. You also get life interfering. We had to move a couple times - I ended up far from my Sunday gaming location and had to find a new group. I started to value computer gaming more at that point, because I could play at home. When baby came along we had to move house again - now the Monday gaming location is too out of the way make the trip, so it's gone entirely. Sunday gaming needs another new group. Baby's crawling around the house and I can't leave models out, don't have time to paint them, much less play. I could be called on to change a diaper or corral a toddler at any point - playing games that require uninterrupted concentration for long periods, especially with the need for teammates, are dumped - no League of Legends, no MMO dungeons or raids. Play on Sundays was sporadic for a while.
However - I read and write still. Reading and writing are hobbies that are easily doable from home and even from a phone on the go. They're easy, portable, and don't require I be at a specific spot with specific people to do. (Yes, technically if you're collaborating it helps, but you don't need to). It's the easiest hobby to hang onto. Do it, it's easy.
Now, the bigger question is whether or not you want to keep doing/reading QQ-worthy, NSFW stuff. This is going to depend on your wife more than anything. Is she okay with smut? Is she okay with you producing smut? Is she okay with it so long as she doesn't have to see or deal with it? I know what my wife is okay with and what she's not. You'll have to talk to her about it and feel her out. Might be a harder task for you, being arranged, but I don't know. I've got no experience on that front.
