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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

A good inspired Idea count. I am not really fan of the Salem faction except for Arthur himself but a transmigration that considers the live people of Remnant as NPCs in their own playground is quite reminiscent of early Subaru from Re:Zero.

On a sidenote, does your name happen to be a reference to something or perhaps your own preference towards the wise owl?

While I do admit I have a particular fondness for owls as birds, and I do prefer them for their wisdom, majesty, and mystique, and they're always the first birds I tried to hold or interact with whenever the bird person came to school, it does come from somewhere. Funny story actually, but there is a reference behind it. I needed a name for this site, but I didn't want it to follow any of my normal patterns. Of course I succeeded in ducking every pattern save one. I didn't come up with a name, I came up with a whole character. But to understand that, you have to understand my love of the Sly Cooper games which I played like there was no tomorrow as a kid. 1 & 2 are my favorites, vying for primacy even now, followed by 3, which I played the stuffing out of, and then four. From that I got the idea for the animal guise. Now, one thing I'm amazed that I have not yet actually done, I think, is working a joke - for those familiar - into any of my posts about how my sentiments toward the direction of Seasons 7 and beyond have probably extended my lifespan by a century or two. Of course, if you ever see pictures of teenage County you'll see him as having more in common with Arpeggio than Clockwerk. Yes I made an AI art of teenage Count too.

Idea: Badass Normal Jaune

Like in canon Jaune didn't have his Aura unlocked, but he has gotten so much training in swordsmanship that it doesn't really matter, and it isn't until the second year that anyone finds out that he doesn't have Aura unlocked at all.

Sure he can't take a hit, but that only matters if they actually hit you, and good luck actually hitting him.
Jaune's gotten so fast and good at evading that he's dodged all shots fired at him and only been hit a couple of times he's been at Beacon (and always on his armor, which does trigger the low-Aura sensor).
This means he's a glass cannon and that Jaune needs to end fights as fast as possible, so his fights often last less than a minute (the only one's that don't are Pyrrha because she's just that good, and Ruby because they're basically in a speedblitz stalemate until one of them gets a hit in and it's over).

And Jaune's swordsmanship is so good he cuts someone with full Aura and armor with a single swordstrike, so tanking a hit from him isn't an option the other students have.
All of this has made Jaune incredibly annoying to fight, so he's not exactly popular from that, especially because Jaune fights really dirty (because not having Aura makes that a necessity) and means he still trains a lot with just Pyrrha.
The real scary thing about fighting Jaune is that he doesn't have any fancy or flashy moves, but he honed the basic sword fighting skills to such a level that any hit is a killing blow or KO to fast to even blink and incredibly precise, and nobody is sure what exactly his Semblance even does.
Shooting him also doesn't help when he just cuts the bullets, and if he's at a range he likely to blitz around and probably throw sand at their eyes or throw a small bomb or flashbang as a distraction.

Yang both likes fighting Jaune but also is incredibly frustrated by it, because he's a real tough challenge to overcome and become a better fighter, but she's also never been able to hit him.
Jaune is also still a healer, but that's because he still has all of that fanon medical training, which is an incredible usefull asset to any team.

Possible backstory for this:
Jaune became this good by learning from his parents and from his grandfather from his fathers side (I'm getting sick of constant Fate characters in every fanfic I come across, as I'm not a fan of the franchise and they're bloody everywhere, so lets use some other characters for this, jusst for variety's sake).
His grandfather is an impossibly good swordsman (think Mihawk, Yoriichi Tsugikuni, Takamura from Sakamoto Days, or Miyamoto Musashi in any anime/manga), but also senile, so he can't really interact with the world all that well outside of things involving swordsmanship, so Jaune trained with him a lot to keep him company.

Oh we can go even farther down this road if you want. He could be like the Chosen Undead of Remnant. Every Huntsman/Huntress is a boss and he's doing a no-hit run. He's good enough to dodge everything thrown his way, and he mostly wears his shield on his back. The real agony with fighting Jaune in this form is the slow beating he hands out. Chipping his enemy down one hit at a time before rolling out of the way and coming back in again. Then can come the moment, where he pulls a parry or gets behind his opponent and lands an impossibly nasty blow.
 
After jet lag and a very long trip I have finally I've had the chance to catch up. And since I'm in the Mediterranean for my sister's wedding I thought a few wedding prompts would be appropriate.


Nora is secretly from royalty and has an arranged marriage. Ren must find a way to free his friend from this obligation and prevent a war.


Yang has been quietly dating a guy for a while now. Now that her sister is in beacon she popped the question.


Winter comes to beacon to tell Weiss about her upcoming wedding.


Pyrha's mother hears wedding bells when Pyrha talks about Jaune.


Jaune comes to beacon married to Katie. She's going to college while he trains to be a hunter.


Qrow gets turned into a woman. "Whole team" Tai Yang nearly proposes.


Penny gets dragged to a wedding because her father got an invite. Our favorite robot friend starts thinking.


After the defeat of Salem, Ruby proposes to her long time friend Juane. Now she has to plan her own wedding while saving her sister's relationship.
 
Half asleep so time for ideas.

-One of Jaune's ancestors made an oath to one of the previous fall made inside his family will always be there to help them. Cut to Amber getting attacked by Cinder and she now finds herself inside the head of one Jaune Arc.

Starts off as just a choice in his head but eventually is able to project herself though only Jaune can see her.

That is until Ruby asks Jaune who's the girl he's talking to.

- Coco drags velvet to a modeling gig in order to get a discount to her favorite clothing store. Upon arrival they discover they're doing wedding shoots and Jaune is the groom.

Ends with RWBY and NPR finding the photos and thinking Jaune got married for real.

- Jaune works for a pizza place and has to deliver a pizza to Salem's castle.

- Future team rwby comes to the present stating that in order to save the future they need a night with Jaune.

Later gets revealed it's not their future selves, just their moms dressed up as them.

- Everyone assumes Jaune is banging Goodwitch because he constantly has one on one tutoring after classes or extra credit assignments. However turns out she's just helping him catch up.

- Jaune mentions that he's a faunus and everyone is trying to figure out his trait.

-Glynda doesn't have mountains of paperwork like people believe. She automated the process ages ago and uses the time to relax in her office to play video games or binge shows. Jaune discovers this and is made her assistant to keep quiet. So how he hangs out with her after classes.
 
-One of Jaune's ancestors made an oath to one of the previous fall made inside his family will always be there to help them. Cut to Amber getting attacked by Cinder and she now finds herself inside the head of one Jaune Arc.

Starts off as just a choice in his head but eventually is able to project herself though only Jaune can see her.

That is until Ruby asks Jaune who's the girl he's talking to.
That's some Dresden/Lash stuff there.
 
After jet lag and a very long trip I have finally I've had the chance to catch up. And since I'm in the Mediterranean for my sister's wedding I thought a few wedding prompts would be appropriate.

Nora is secretly from royalty and has an arranged marriage. Ren must find a way to free his friend from this obligation and prevent a war.

Shenanigans will be had and knees will be broken!

Yang has been quietly dating a guy for a while now. Now that her sister is in beacon she popped the question.

I agree with Titanmaster117, it's a bit early for this. Though if it's during the Atlas Arc and she's been in a relationship with, say, Jaune, it's possible she'd want to get married. In this timeline she's still Yang and so still a bit impulsive.

Winter comes to beacon to tell Weiss about her upcoming wedding.

Weiss is thrilled... Until she finds out the groom is Qrow.

Pyrha's mother hears wedding bells when Pyrha talks about Jaune.

Oh dear... You could use Athena Nikos and her overly dramatic antics to get Pyrrha and Jaune together.

Jaune comes to beacon married to Katie. She's going to college while he trains to be a hunter.

This will only make him more attractive since he's taken, oh my...

Qrow gets turned into a woman. "Whole team" Tai Yang nearly proposes.

"Nearly?"

Penny gets dragged to a wedding because her father got an invite. Our favorite robot friend starts thinking.

Penny Polendinia, Wedding Planner and Matchmaker!

After the defeat of Salem, Ruby proposes to her long time friend Juane. Now she has to plan her own wedding while saving her sister's relationship.

Ruby ends up getting Yang to marry Jaune with her and Weiss. Blake goes and has her harem with Ilia and Sun. And all ends happily.
 
Big Brother Jaune New
In an alternate universe, Jaune is the oldest of his siblings and has had to take care of his little sisters. Who all come to visit Jaune. Surely RWBY, Nora, Ren and Pyrrha can watch them for a little while without issue... Right?

One-Shot, written for CrimeSorciere, Comedy.

- - -

Pyrrha Nikos was, to be frank, giddy. Oh certainly, coming to Beacon to escape her fame and do what she truly wanted to do, be a hero, was wonderful. Being able to make her own decisions was fantastic, even.

It seemed to turn into a dream thanks to her partner, one Jaune Arc. From the moment she met him, he had been steadfast, mature, and uncaring of her status. He was a goof in unguarded moments, which utterly endeared her to him. He was also very skilled: He had taken command of their team in the Initiation fight, kept a cool head, and used his immense strength to keep the Deathstalker pinned while the rest of the team crippled it. He'd finished it off with a very powerful Aura Slash, which had gotten everyone's attention. Especially Team RWBY's.

It was little wonder he'd been selected as team leader of JNPR. A team leader she was proud to call her partner and friend.

That said… He was quiet about his past. Nora and Ren had shared their pasts, though Ren's had been rather perfunctory and tragic. Team RWBY had been… More forthcoming in some respects. Blake moreso after the incident with the White Fang at the docks.

Yet Jaune remained an enigma. Which made him more interesting, in Pyrrha's view. Unfortunately it made him more interesting in the view of other girls, which irritated Pyrrha a bit.

They were seated in the cafeteria, enjoying lunch after a long school week. Jaune was usually relaxed but watchful, but now he seemed rather distracted. Pyrrha was about to ask him about it… When RWBY arrived.

"Hey Stud!" Yang Xiao-Long greeted him happily, hugging Jaune from behind and very obviously pressing her chest into his back. "How's it going?"

"Just fine, Yang," Jaune greeted her kindly. Ruby hugged him next from the side, and slid into his lap.

"Geez, that week was the worst!" Ruby moaned, settling in. She grinned at Nora, Ren and Pyrrha. "Hey Ren! Hey Pyrrha! Hey Nora!"

"Hey Ruby!" Nora greeted happily, as Ren nodded. Pyrrha put on her best "I'm not plotting to kill you" smile and nodded to both Ruby and Yang.

"Hello Yang, Ruby," she greeted.

"Hey Cereal Girl! Zen! Nora!" Yang greeted back, looking a tiny bit annoyed with her younger sister.

Weiss Schnee showed up next, sitting next to Jaune with her usual grace and elegance. She smiled warmly at Jaune, before she turned an almost imperious eye to the others.

"Hello Jaune. Hello Pyrrha, Nora, Ren," she said. Her greeting was returned, politely.

Finally Blake arrived. She gave Jaune a rather intense look before nodding politely to the others. She sat down and began to read, which was an improvement from before.

"You should sit in your own seat, Ruby," Jaune said calmly, "You need to eat your lunch."

"Aw, can't I sit here?" Ruby asked, her innocent act not quite meeting her eyes. Pyrrha's fork began to bend thanks to Polarity.

"Certainly not! It's improper!" Weiss scolded her team leader.

"I think I'm fine right here, Stud," Yang said with a smirk, as Ruby pouted but moved to sit on Jaune's other side. Jaune looked up at her, unamused.

"Come on Yang, you need to eat," he said, a note of authority in his tone that warmed Pyrrha's insides. Yang pouted.

"What, you don't want me here~?" She asked, and Pyrrha began to bend her fork again.

"You can't eat this way," Jaune said blandly, which made Yang snort.

"You could always feed me," she cooed, and Pyrrha's fork snapped in half. Everyone looked over in shock. Jaune reached out and took Pyrrha's hands between his.

"You okay, Pyrrha?" He asked urgently. "What happened?"

"Ah, um, w-well," Pyrrha started, but then bowed her head, "Sorry. I lost control of Polarity."

He examined her hand with a medic's eye, and shook his head.

"You'll be all right," he said, "Maybe you should try to relax a bit more, huh?"

"Y-yes, I will do that," Pyrrha said, flushing a bit. The jealous looks from team RWBY were certainly making her mood improve a bit… Though she quickly dispelled her ugly thoughts.

No no no! Don't be like that! She ordered herself.

"Geez, what forked you off, Cereal Girl?" Yang asked, again pressing up against Jaune's back with a smug look.

Pyrrha's ire returned, and she reinforced her non-homicidal smile.

"So, Fearless Leader, you're looking tense," Nora observed, eating her pancakes, "I mean, more than usual. Somethin' going on?"

Jaune coughed. All eyes went to him. It was times like this that Pyrrha appreciated how perceptive Nora was… But more than that, her bluntness.

"Oh, well," Jaune shrugged with a sigh, "My family is visiting."

"Your family, huh?" Yang asked, as Weiss frowned, Blake looked in interest, and Ruby smiled in interest. Pyrrha's smile softened as well.

"Is that a bad thing?" Pyrrha asked.

Jaune shook his head.

"No, it's not," he said, "I missed them dearly. It's been really rough on them. This is the first time we've been apart since my folks died."

"Oh, Jaune," Ruby murmured, grasping his hand in sympathy. Weiss too looked grave, while Blake's expression was solemn. Yang hugged him more tightly, as Pyrrha, Nora and Ren leaned forward.

"I'm sorry," Ren said quietly, his expression knowing and empathetic. Nora reached out to grasp his hand while taking Ren's. Jaune nodded thankfully, as Pyrrha reached out to squeeze his free hand.

"Thank you," he said, "I became head of the household then. We were pretty good on money, and our great-grandparents helped out, but it was still rough on my little sisters."

"How many sisters do you have?" Pyrrha asked, curious.

"Seven," Jaune said blandly. Many eyes went wide.

"Seven?!" Weiss gasped. Jaune wordlessly held up his Scroll with a picture of himself, stalwart and strong, with seven adorable little girls all surrounding him. Two girls had red and green ribbons in their hair and were twins. One was a bit older, closer to Jaune's age, with a purple bow and a warm smile. Another had blue hair and was crying. Still another had orange tied pigtails and was scowling at the camera, while one with a yellow bow, also a bit older, was holding a baby with a violet bow who was sucking on a pacifier.

"Awwwww…" Everyone murmured. Even Ren. Yang's hug tightened.

"You had to raise them, huh?" Yang asked quietly. Jaune nodded slowly.

"Since I was twelve."

"I'm sorry," Weiss said softly, squeezing his shoulder. Jaune sighed.

"I honestly feel guilty coming here sometimes. My other relatives are taking care of them, but here I am, pursuing my dream."

"Is your dream for them?" Blake asked softly. Jaune started and looked over at Blake.

"Huh?"

"Is your dream to protect and support them?" Ruby asked with a warm smile, getting what Blake wanted to convey. Pyrrha beamed. Jaune slowly nodded.

"It is," he said.

"Then it's not selfish," Yang smiled. "So don't be so hard on yourself, Stud."

Jaune smiled softly. He slowly nodded, his lips twitching a bit. He tried to remain so stoic, even now, but his small tells warmed her heart.

"Thank you," he murmured. His Scroll beeped. He checked it and groaned.

"Oh not now," he muttered.

"What?" Ruby asked, looking over his shoulder.

"I have to go see the Headmaster for a meeting right now," Jaune sighed. "My sisters are supposed to meet me at the dorm in ten minutes…!"

"We'll meet them!" Yang said with a warm smile. Weiss nodded eagerly.

"Yes! Don't worry!" Weiss insisted, "We'll keep them entertained!"

"Are you sure?" Jaune asked, concerned. Pyrrha beamed.

"I'm sure we can keep them safe long enough for you to get back."

"Yeah! We'll kill anything that looks a them funny!" Nora cheered. Ren nodded gravely.

"We will."

Blake smiled gently.

"They're here for you. They can wait for a bit longer," she said softly.

Jaune smiled gratefully and nodded to them.

"Thanks guys," he said, "I owe you all."

"Friends don't hold debts," Ren said calmly.

"We can discuss your repayment. It might involve whipped cream," Yang teased, wiggling her eyebrows. Weiss and Pyrrha's faces turned bright red, as Ruby whacked Yang's shoulder. Blake had a smug smirk on her face. Jaune, oblivious as ever, nodded.

"No problem. I'll add extra sprinkles," he said, "Later!" He got up and headed off. Ruby puffed up her cheeks and pouted extra hard at Yang.

"Do you have to be so-so weird?!"

"What?" Yang asked, looking innocent, ""He said he'd add sprinkles."

"You're such a pervert!" Weiss groaned.

"I-I'm sure he didn't take it like that," Pyrrha said.

"He probably did," Blake observed, "At least that's what you all hope."

"No it's not!" Weiss, Ruby and Pyrrha all cried.

"At least he didn't talk about adding hot gooey syrup," Nora suggested. She gave Ren a smirk. "Huh Renny? You gonna squirt hot gooey syrup all over my pancakes?"

"I always do," Ren observed, much to the befuddlement and amusement of the others.

They made it to their dorm common room, whose door was open. The sounds of children playing and yapping echoed in the hallway. Ruby entered first, followed by everyone else.

An absolutely adorable white haired old lady in a blue skirt, white blouse, and blue jacket was sitting at the table, sipping tea, as she held a baby in a purple onesie in her lap. A scowling girl in orange clothing was trying to read a book, while twins in red and green garb shot eachother with nerf guns and laughed. An older girl in a light purple dress was making sandwiches, while a girl in a darker orange blouse and brown skirt was typing on a laptop.

"Hey!" Ruby greeted, "We're Jaune's friends!"

The old woman looked up with a warm smile.

"Hello! I'm Jaune's great-grandmother Arturia. Call me Nana," she greeted. Weiss, Pyrrha, Yang and Ruby all looked very eager at that, while Blake was more reserved. Nora grinned and waved.

"Hey Nana!"

"Jaune is running a bit late, he had a meeting with the headmaster," Pyrrha smoothly explained with her best public relations smile, "But we can keep you company until he arrives."

Arturia smiled happily.

"Oh! Brilliant to hear!"

Arturia turned her head and nodded to the girls.

"Girls? GIRLS! Attention!" She barked.

The youngest girls formed up, the short girl in orange standing at military attention with the rest. Arturia nodded in approval, and pointed to each one as she introduced them.

"This is Saphron, Lilac, Tangerine-"

"Tangy!" The short orange wearing girl protested. Arturia chuckled.

"Tangy, the twins Coral and Verdy, and this little cutie is Orchid."

The children all greeted them back, even Orchid cooed cutely. Weiss and Yang cooed back over the cute little baby. Nora grinned at the twins, who grinned back mischievously. The grim looking little one stared back intensely at Ren, while Pyrrha beamed at Lilac and Ruby grinned at Saphron.

"Jaune should be along soon," Ruby said happily, "So, would you like to stay for tea or-?"

"No, no," Arturia chuckled, standing up. She patted the heads of all her great-grandchildren, "I'm off for a break. Good luck~!"

She gave them a wry little smirk as she walked out.

"You're gonna need it~," she said, as though propriety was the only thing keeping her from running out at full speed. Teams RWBY and NPR watched her go.

"That… Seemed ominous," Blake murmured, looking back at the seven now grinning children.

"Oh come on, Blake!" Ruby said, with the incredible foresight and leadership skills that would serve her so well in the coming years, "What could go wrong?"

- - - -

Jaune Arc sighed as he trudged his way back towards the Beacon Dorms. He grumbled a bit under his breath.

"Great, asking me to talk to Nana for him," he sighed, "why can't he just do it himself?"

Glynda Goodwitch had been very reasonable the whole meeting, politely but firmly trying to get him out of there when Ozpin began to repeat himself. He should really do something nice for her at some point. Maybe make her dinner? Lots of people dropped by when he made dinner for his team and friends. He could invite her.

He approached the dorms, and down the hallway… He could hear some familiar chanting from squeaky voices and some slightly less familiar cries and squawks.

Now come on, Jaune, he thought to himself, I'm sure everything's just…

He turned the corner and looked in the door.

… Fine.

Yang was tied up with chains and had an apple in her mouth as she squirmed. A pot was held over her full of boiling water. Weiss and Blake were held upside down over it, while Coral and Verdy were holding them at bay with their own weapons. Tangy was holding Crescent Rose while Ruby was tied up and hanging by her ankles from the ceiling fan, while Ren sat with Nora and Saphron on the couch eating snacks. Nora was wearing a crown from Burger Monarch, while Aqua cackled as she danced around the boiling pot.

Pyrrha was sitting with Orchid in her lap, and she was also tied up. Lilac was peacefully cooking in the kitchenette despite all the chaos about.

"JAUNE!" Ruby cried, "SAVE US!"

"JAUNE!" The younger girls all cried happily. They all rushed to hug him, save for Lilac, who was still cooking, and Orchid-Whom Pyrrha had to carry over to Jaune.

"JAUNE! HELP US! PLEASE!" Weiss screamed. "NORA BETRAYED US!"

"They let me be the Queen of the Castle," Nora said, surprisingly calmly, "I am appeased!"

"They assured me it was all for show!" Pyrrha protested.

"I wouldn't mind this so much if not for the boiling pot," Blake opined.

"SHUT UP, BLAKE!" Weiss shouted.

"And Lilac didn't help at all!" Ruby complained angrily.

"MMMNNNGH!" Yang bellowed through her apple gag.

Lilac shrugged, sipping a sample from the pot.

"Someone has to make sure dinner is made on time," she said calmly, "The appetizers are ready, Jaune!"

"Good," Jaune sighed, "Now, untie my friends and clean up! It's time for dinner!"

"Yes Jaune!" The girls (and Nora) said. They scurried off and put everything right. Ruby gaped in disbelief at Jaune, as did the rest of his female friends.

"Th-That's all you had to do?!" Weiss cried.

"No," Tangy stated firmly, "You had to be Jaune."

Weiss blushed.

"I… I suppose so," she murmured.

"Geez VB, you're definitely daddy material," Yang observed, her own cheeks bright red. Jaune smiled warmly and shook his head.

"Nah, this wasn't so bad," he said, "You should see their last birthday party. You'll never look at a pinata the same way again."

"Like you'll make it to our birthday party!" Aqua sneered in challenge. Weiss, Ruby, Blake, Pyrrha, and Yang all looked at eachother. As one, they nodded and smirked back at the smirking Arc Sisters.

"We'll just see about that," Ruby declared.

"Hm?" Jaune asked, confused. Nora giggled and patted him on his shoulder. Ren patted the other.

"You'll find out~!" Nora giggled.

"Find out what?" Jaune asked.

"You'll see," Ren added.

"See what?"

Ren and Nora shook their heads together. They looked over at Saphron, who shrugged and smiled.

"He's always been like this."

"Oh good!" Nora cheered, "Then we're going to have a lot of fun!"

"At a safe distance," Ren said. Nora pouted.

"Where's the fun in that?"
 
"Thank you," he said, "I became head of the household then.

"You had to raise them, huh?" Yang asked quietly. Jaune nodded slowly.

"Since I was twelve."
Small issue with this, Jaune isn't the oldest, and actually has multiple older sisters (and he might actually be the youngest, but I'm not sure about that).
So he wouldn't really be the head of the houshold.

edit: I'm an idiot and didn't fully read the top. 🤦‍♂️

Great one-shot though.
 
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I was scrolling through old posts on this thread and got confuzzled. So can someone give me a synopsis of Volume 9? As I have said before, I never watched it. I just need a short list of what events happen how we get from where to where, etcetera. I already regret asking that, and since I have absorbed a portion of Volume 9's contents through pure internet osmosis.

So we're going to play a game, its called: Count's Inaccurate Summation of Volume 9.

The rules are simple:
1) I will surmise Volume 9 as best as I can
2) You guys all laugh at how wrong I am
3) You're gonna laugh a lot
4) You're gonna tell me what I got right, what I got wrong, and what actually happened.
5) My disappointment in CRWBY will plummet to depths that I previously believed were impossible.
6) Either CountvonRantOwl starts up again or we turn this into several productive prompt ideas that will hopefully convey both the joy and vitality that I am able to feel regarding the subject, setting - and for want of a better turn of phrase - fanon sandbox of RWBY while also being born from the burning fury that I will no doubt feel when I see just how far down CRWBY, CRWBY's beliefs, CRWBY's messages, and CRWBY's pandering brought RWBY in its final hour.

Editor von BarnOwl here: may I recommend Les Voici, Voici la Quadrille from Bizet's Carmen as your musical accompaniment? It made this even more amusing.

Ready? Set? Go.

Starts off on the beach in the Ever After - a magic, metaphysical wonderland knockoff where plants, animals, and clocks talk. The party is broken up immediately - if they landed together, which I doubt and rather than wandering the sands of time for eternity they must venture into the woods closer to the Erdtree to hopefully make sense of this place. Except in the case of Blake and Yang, who, because the writers capitulated... I would say Volume 6 was telling the shippers on tumblr that they won when Adam died... get carried off out to sea by this deus ex machina called the Ponderstorm and have their own little odyssey of realizing that each is the only person in the world that the other really cares about* (so marked because it must be minded for later).

Meanwhile Jaune gets to go on his own adventure because he happens on a pair of friendly locals, of which County can only remember the name of one. So Aelyx and the [Insert meme here apparently REDACTED did not mean what I thought it meant] (words cannot describe how mad at myself I am for actually committing and typing that out) connect and empathies with him for an episode before giving him the Lucky/Hyena/Trusty/Spider/Unbreakable Patches treatment, betraying him, and leaving him for dead after nicking off with something of metaphysical or spiritual value (his memories, I think) will allow them to finally escape their eternal torment in the Ever After as he lays there in the forest with a poisoned dagger in his ribs. Jaune, sturdier than most picks himself up cobbles together a better, fuller suit of armor off of the corpses in the Patches pit, and now, neither knowing who he is nor what he is doing, but chasing some fragment of his own memory, be it a memory of Pyrrha, a memory of Ruby (far more likely) or memories of Aelyx and the [Insert meme here apparently REDACTED did not mean what I thought it meant], and that he must kill them.

Weiss is inconsequential.

Ruby begins to wonder why all of this happened to her. Mind you this is written by people of CRWBY's political persuasions so this is as close as Ruby will get to climbing the final millimeter of the mountain of character development at the summit of which waits genuine moral agency She is not going to ask the all important questions of: 'What did I do wrong?' and 'What can I do better?'. She starts having doubts... Doubts about whether or not she can really be a hero the way her mom was (there's someone that Ruby hasn't thought about in a long while). And alone in the forest, alone with her thoughts Neo, who has (maybe) wanted to avenge Torchwick for a whole six volumes (but the odds are CRWBY forgot that too) is about to strike when she is possessed by this forest spirit called the Curious Cat - which Count only knows exists because of RWBY rule 34.

Neo, or rather Cat in Neo's body goes off on her own adventure while Ruby tears stripes out of herself for failing to live up to Summer's example until she self-flagellates all the way into the Erdtree which shows her that Summer was lying. About what, I'm not really sure. My headcanon is that Summer - having thought she caught onto a way to permakill Salem (a way in which her silver eyes will be the centerpiece - Raven's Maiden Magic may or may not also be a part of it - even though I admit I think Summer's death happened a bit earlier in the timeline than Raven finding and killing the Spring Maiden). And because Summer did not know just how immortal Salem was she failed and she died. They missed out big time not incorporating this into the whole Ozpin thing in Season 6 if I'm actually correct here. They could have made Ozpin directly culpable in Summer's death - given his actions tangible consequences. But no.

Instead they just have Summer up and pull a Raven... with Raven. As I type this out I get to wondering, between Blake being constantly portrayed as infallible, Raven being Raven in spite of how little sense it makes for her to be so, and now Summer also being Raven, I think I understand CRWBY's type.

Ruby comes out of the hallucination only to find out that that metaphysical journey with Summer never actually happened, she's just at the tree. Now, mind you, this didn't fix anything, Ruby is not at the higher point she wanted (and still wants) to be at. The tree just helped her by making Summer appear lesser, so that she may seem greater by comparison as if that actually fixes anything (again CRWBY's persuasions coming through loud and clear if I'm right). She finds, much to her own disappointment, that Weiss is even more useless, Jaune, who the other stumbled into on their journey to find Ruby, has aged 40 years because time is convoluted in Lordran, and Weiss' daddy kink is on full display. But they are not the most annoying couple. Ruby confides in her big sister about her insecurities, and Yang says she's acting like Ironwood, doubting herself, questioning her (self-)right(eous)ness. That is a mortal sin in the system of beliefs that CRWBY purports to abide by, so Ruby loses he composure and blows up on Yang and Blake for fucking everything up with Atlas, Yang of course, comes to Blake's defense (implicitly declaring who she will put first and foremost each and every time but because this is tumblr's all time favorite pairing the show does not touch on how much of a betrayal Ruby takes this as), then she berates Weiss for being nothing but a meme, and gets into a shouting match with Jaune, before... realizing that since both she and Remnant are Hitler-in-the-bunker Fucked anyway she may as well get it over with now, follow his example, and she pulls a Gen:Lock. Neo - who CRWBY realizes now they've left with no arc, no motive, and no more excuse to be in the story, does the same.

Jaune, Weiss, Blake, and Yang group hug and Ruby gets back up again with all of her problems magically solved. Neo stays dead though. The Great Tree, appeased nevertheless by Neo's sacrifice, reveals to them how to kill Salem and appease the gods before booting them back to Remnant - and also making Jaune 40 years younger again... he probably lost all of his skills, magic? and whatever else he picked up too.

Oh yeah, the intermittent B plot for every episode but the one in which we actually check up on Remnant but nothing of consequence is revealed is Jaune's hunt for Aelyx and the [Insert meme here apparently REDACTED did not mean what I thought it meant], he meets and adventures with all the much more traditional Wonderland denizens, even popping back up into Remnant a few times in its history and getting to know Ozpin well enough that the statue we see in front of Beacon - back when we had Beacon - was actually dedicated to the memory of (if not made specifically to represent his persona - the Rusted Knight). He catches Aelyx and the [Insert meme here apparently REDACTED did not mean what I thought it meant] eventually, but choses to spare them because ??? (maybe they gave him his memories back without a fight?) even though I'm positive that they've probably come fresh off of doing John Wayne Gacy levels of insidious shit and would definitely do it again without a second thought because he redeems them even though there's no real fight between the trio. They part ways amicably, Jaune meets up with WBY, Weiss strikes out with him harder and more often with him than he did with her all the way back in Season 1. JWBY find Neo (Cat), they kill a Jabberwocky, we're back to the main story finding Ruby beneath the tree.

And that's the game.

I tried not to get too political and on a scale of 1 - My headcanon for Team CFVY when they're drunk, I think I did a pretty good job, but discussing RWBY's implosion without assigning a measure of the blame to CRWBY's twitter clout tendencies would be like a medical examiner returning a verdict of accidental death on a body found in a dumpster with pronounced strangulation marks and numerous defensive wounds.
 
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Ruby loses he composure and blows up on Yang and Blake for fucking everything up with Atlas,
Jaune Weiss Yang and Blake are spot on
Ruby does get tortured by Neo and kills herself
and Cat is the son of the God of Light and just as big of an asshole as his dad
Tree is revealed as God and Mother of the brothers, all powerful, could fix everything wrong with Remnant by one shoting Salem any time she wanted... and doesn't do shit


also rewatched V7 and V8 Elm Harriet and Robyn are just the worse as people, rude quick to anger, escalating instead of being any kind of protector or helper ... they just suck at there jobs causing more problems then the guys
THIS is suppose to be girl power? CRWBY made me want Ironwood to just shoot Watts and/or have the orders to attack team RWBY and Qrow be a fake by Watts to cause disarray or something intelligent!
The Villains win because the adults are useless and the only people with brain cells are Whitley Jaune Ruby[when not dragged down by her team] and Nora and no one can just kill Cinder!
Yang turned to Raven 2.0, Blake Faunus plot is a nothing burger, Qrow 'one of the worlds best huntsmen' never wins against a villain and OZcar is just a walking macguffin
 
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More CRACK!
Combine the Legendary Super Schnee with Nerd Whitley! lets go full MCU with it! Ruby wants Both Nerd Whitley and Rip and Tear the Grimm Whitley!
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Ruby: Don't worry the blood on you is from Bandits~
Whitley back to Nerd: Why aren't you worried? My sisters are horrified by me?
Ruby: Uncle Qrow taught me that rapist and murders are just targets not people!

Jaune after "comforting" Winter and Weiss: *Off Screen* Damn STAIGHT!
Whitley: My sister doesn't deserve either of you

Ruby during her Signal Classes
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Ruby: I'm okl! I had my Aura on! [still a dumb retcon]

Weiss Cocking being Helpful to Ruby!
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Ruby: If i can't eat it or use it as a weapon, I Don't Want It!
 

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