Tandem the Spoony's Next Adventure [F/SN x CM(D&D)]

[X] Bazett
[X] Work on repairing Rider's eye-mask, and other things in need of repair

Yep, called it. Rider advocated retreat. Shoulda heard Bazett out, we'd have at least found out about Fragarach.

Also, I thought we could only use the boots once a day, and we used them on the Pegasus.

 

[X] Bazett
[X] Work on repairing Rider's eye-mask, and other things in need of repair

 

GM derp; you get three uses.

 

I saw boots getting three uses online, but figured you had applied a retcon to limit their use. Cause it is pretty damn useful.

 

Hmm, I just noticed this.

Is "some other chick" here Sakura? If so, there's no way Bazett could just hyponotise her like that, she's too powerful a magus. And, whilst Sakura might just agree to keep it quiet, Bazett would realise it hadn't worked.

 

Hey Ender, if Tandem found Bazett's arm could he fix it and reattach it to her?

If so, I'd say getting on top of that is at least the same order of importance as Rider's blindfold. Don't want the arm to get more rotten and beat-up than it already is, or for some animal to make a meal out of it.

 

Sakura both didn't want to reveal herself as a magus and as Rider's true master, for many of the same reasons as she didn't in canon until events in HF happened. Unless you wanted her to try and fight Bazett; then I'd have to have her die because it's fucking Bazett. Then Rider would get involved, followed by Shirou, followed most likely by another Command Seal for you to jump in.

Basically, it was a titanic clusterfuck and I wasn't in the mood for one of those so soon after the last one; so Sakura went along with the song and dance and left.

Reread the update before last; she does have her arm back. You just don't know who did it....

 

Wait WHAT?!

I....have no idea how I missed that. I mean I was already wondering what she was doing in the graveyard. Now she mysteriously got her arm back?

Um.

Okay, I am now worried for an entirely different set of reasons. While it's probably too late for a big swing in votes, I now implore people to talk to Bazett so we can try to solve this mystery before it bites us in the ass. I'd still like Bazett as a Master/providing us prana and support. I'd like it a lot more than her as a potential enemy, but I also do not like having unsolved mysteries right under my nose. Tandem's already noted the discrepancy so that's our reason right here, and we should know what strategy she was gonna push for against Archer. Would be good to know.

 

Ah, OK, fair enough. So, it wasn't a case of her being hypnotised, she just pretended and Bazett fell for it?

That does certainly make sense, although Bazett not noticing this is odd.

 

Well, yeah, it's possible that Bazett also knows. Something similar happens in the Bad End where Rin takes Shirou's command spells and makes him forget about the war. Sakura quite obviously knows what is going on, but she helps cover it up because she'd much rather Shirou not be in danger.

Well, true. Sakura might just be acting like it worked and Bazett may not be able to tell.

 

Or she sees Astralized Rider who explained everything to her and Sakura Let herself get Hypnotized and the Worms in her body naturally eat away the Foreign spell.

 

After lunch is over, you call Shirou over and say, "Hey kid, meet me in the dojo; need to talk to you for a bit, privately."

Shirou pauses for a bit, then nods; though he's still looking somewhat depressed. He finishes getting up and the both of you walk into the dojo so you can have a nice, long chat on what's eating him. Once you're both inside and positive that you're alone, you begin to address the issue.

"So Shirou, what's bothering you?"

"Bothering me?" His eyes widen in shock, and he shakes his hands and head, desperately trying to convince you otherwise; "Nothing's bothering me, where would you get that idea? I'm perfectly fine."

Your eyes narrow, and you sternly tell him, "Cut the crap, kiddo. I saw you all depressed during lunch. Spill; what's wrong?"

Having been called out on his bluff, Shirou sighs and his entire posture shifts; somewhat slouched and eyes downward, he had the look of a defeated man. Finally, he answers you.

"...The first memory I have is fire. Fire and death; watching people around me die from the flames, as I desperately tied to live on. I tuned them out; ignored the cries of agony and death around me. What pity and remorse I had for them I simply...threw away; all so I could live. I...threw away a lot of things; feeling, memories, emotions. Anything I could, I simply fed to the fires; all for the desperate hope that I'd live."

Shirou's eyes were...empty, dead during all of this; it's a look you're all too familiar with too: once, you've seen that same look in the mirror. The stare of a man who's seen too much and suffered more than he could handle; the look of a man with nothing to lose or live for. It made sense, given what he was telling you; he was remembering a time where he was just like that. But, it clashed so much with the boy you knew now. What changed?

Shirou shakes his head and continues, "But it wasn't enough; my body couldn't keep moving, so I stopped. I was dead; my mind and soul were gone by that point, and my body was about to follow. I was staring at the sky, filled with smoke; waiting to die."

Then, Shirou's tone shifted; to one of praise and happiness, "And then, I was saved; Kiritsugu Emiya saved me. He pulled me out of the fire; pleading for me to live, and smiling when he saw me alive. The first thought that came to me was, 'I wanted to be that happy'; and I was, both by being saved, and seeing what saving someone was like. Kiritsugu took me in after that as his son after that, and told me he was a magus."

Now his eyes were clouded, seeing the memories of his past rather than the present, "He was sick, and after several years; he died. But in his last moments, he told me about his dream. About how he always wanted to be a Hero of Justice as a child, and how he gave up on it because it was impossible."

"It was that night, that I promised him that I would fulfill that dream for him; and become a Hero of Justice that would save everyone."

Then, his head lowers; as if in shame, and he utters out, "But so far, in this war; I can't save anyone. I can't protect anyone. All I do is stand aside and let you do all the work. What kind of 'partner' am I when I can't even fight alongside you? How can I be a Hero of Justice when I can't do anything?!"

Wow, you could practically taste the self-loathing in there; alright, time to set some things straight, "Kid...lemme tell you a story, a story about how I became the Greatest Swordsman in the World."

"First off, all that skill you've seen me show off? None of it's mine, it's all from my Noble Phantasm; it makes my bluffs real. I've been lying through my teeth about being the greatest, have been even when I was alive?"

Shirou's face is filled with nothing but shock, his mouth gaping, eyes like a fish, and eyebrows as high as they can go. He starts to stutter, "B-but how...how did you-?"

"It started with me boasting that I was the greatest swordsman in the world to make myself look and feel good. Then, I finally offended someone with my bragging and he challenged me. By all means I should've lost; but I lucked out and won the fight. Guy accepted it, and proceeded to introduce me as 'The Greatest Swordsman in the World'. To everyone. All so he could get back at me and break my bluff."

"But he never did; time and time again I won, by sheer luck and cunning wit I managed to beat each and every challenger. And soon...I started to believe it, I started to truly believe that I was the Greatest Swordsman in the World. And so did he, and everyone who saw me beat those challengers. Eventually my bluff...became real."

You look Shirou straight in the eye, ready to impart the best advice you could to raise his spirits, "Kid, if a piss-poor pathetic bard like me can manage to become the Greatest Swordsman in the World; you sure as hell can become a Hero of Justice who saves everyone. No matter how impossible your dreams or goals may be; if you believe, and someone else believes....then that impossible dream, becomes a reality..."

Shirou's star-struck by your speech, but you're not finished yet,"And Shirou....I believe in you. Fuck what your dad said about it being an impossible dream; there are no if's, and's, or but's. No maybe's or possibly's; there are no uncertainties about this: You will become a Hero of Justice who will save everyone. Because I believe in you, and because I know that you believe in you."

Man, you are glad that you're so damn charismatic; because you doubt that it'd be possible to pull this off otherwise. Oh you believed the kid could get what he's always dreamed of; he a hero to the core, but he needed the right mentality to do it. He needed to be...tempered so to speak. Needed to have a fiery passion and will to guide him; because the moment he believes it's impossible, it becomes so.

Shirou looks at you, his face covered with a resolute, wide, and somewhat goofy grin. You can see in his eyes that your speech got to him; that it ignited something deep inside him, and it's now shining through. He tells you, "Thank you, Tandem. I...I won't fail, not like Kiritsugu did. This dream...this dream isn't impossible, it's too beautiful to be unreachable. I'm going to reach it; to reach out to all those in need and make this distant dream a reality. And nothing will stand in my way, because I'm Emiya Shirou; and I'm a Hero of Justice."

You smile back, give the kid a good slap to the back and say, "Atta boy, c'mon; I have some stuff to fix and then we can meet up with your friend, all right? And as for the 'useless' thing; I think I can fix that."

Shirou smiles and nods. The two of you leave the dojo, content with the man-to-man talk you had. Now, time to fix things...


Regular repairs on your weapons and armor were easy; it was Lancer's armor and Rider's blindfold that were giving you issues. Both were completely different from magic items you've seen in your lifetime, so your standard knowledge wasn't as useful as it normally was.

But it was still useful, and it was enough; though it was a bigger drain on your resources than you expected, you fixed the armor and eye-mask. Giving the latter to Rider made her smile and thank you, and seemed to make things easier on Shirou and Bazett. As for the armor...

You kept the pauldron and the shin-guard parts of the greaves; but the rest you gave to Shirou. What you had on was enough to boost your endurance by a fair bit, but what you gave Shirou served to put him almost on par with you when it came to strength and your former endurance; though his agility was about half of yours.

Still, it was enough to make him better than useless, and with the training you gave him he could actually do more than stand aside. You didn't say anything to one another, but one look between you two said it all; you were backing his dream, and he was grateful for it.

Now, it was mid to late afternoon; and the four of you were heading to Shinji's to talk. What did you want to talk to him about?

Pick 2~3:
[X] How did you become a Master?
[X] Game plan; who do you hit next?
[X] Family; you mentioned a grandpa?
[X] What's your stake in the Grail War?
[X] Write-in

 

[X] Family; you mentioned a grandpa?

Because Zouken needs to go down, and Shirou needs to learn that he can save people. I mean, what sort of hero would he be if he can't even save a couple of his closest friends from a monster (and, yes, I'm including Shinji in that, because he's also a victim of Zouken to a certain extent)?

Also, getting Rider to like us more is definitely a good thing, and saving Sakura will massively boost Rider's opinion of us.

 

[X] Family; you mentioned a grandpa?

Shirou now has an armor. Good, good. But the weapon? He needs a weapon. Or he can weaponize his stabbing Mage Hand. Everything is possible.

I wonder how Rin is doing...

 

[X] Family; you mentioned a grandpa?
[X] What's your stake in the Grail War?

Might open the possibility of him actually stopping to pursue the Grail entirely.

 

Might be good to take Shirou aside at some point and enlighten him about 'HEROIC PARTY MECHANICS' so he doesn't try to be the lone hero which we, as Spoony, knows never works. Adventuring Party w/leader Shirou anyone?

 

[X] Game plan; who do you hit next?

Tandem wants to kill Archer. Shinji to show off to Rin, and quite possibly do terrible things to her in the process.

I see no way this can go wrong and believe our interests perfectly align.

More seriously, Archer will still be wounded for a while and this is our best window of opportunity to put EMIYA down before he gets back in his groove. Tandem can figure Shinji's motives, I believe, and probably even resolve the conflict without violence. Charisma out the wazoo and Shinji worships the guy. We can pull it off. I'd rather nip the fandom Batman in the bud sooner rather than later when he has sufficient prep time. If anyone figures out how to exploit a flaw in our build, it's gonna be him.

 

[X] What's your stake in the Grail War?
[X] Game plan; who do you hit next?

Asking about Shinji's end goal is one of the few things that probably won't lead to us having to consider him an enemy, which is something I'd like to put off until we've cleared the board a bit. If for no other reason than narrative convention.

Including Shinji in any planning will make it clear we aren't just taking him for granted. If we're looking at a back-stab situation later on, then having Shinji like us now might make him hesitate just a tiny bit at a critical moment. Which is all a Servant would need to turn things around.

 

I'm not opposed to discussing stakes, but Shini liking us? Dude. We gave him magic. Look at the relationship we have to Shinji on the first page. He worships the ground we walk on.

We don't have to curry his favor by showing interest in his interest, we're high enough in his esteem that as long as we don't explicitly try to screw him over I don't think he'll try and screw us. If nothing else he's going to be interested in learning more magic from Tandem or getting another spellbook.

Banking on Shinji hesitating at a crucial moment is chump change at this point in time.

 

This is the guy who is incapable of understanding anything different from "my life=0, everyone else's lives=∞".

He can't work in a group because he will always try to do everything by itself, always looking for the perfect ending and remembering only his failures. What Shirou needs is a leader ready to smack him in the head when he does something stupid and physically stop him when needed.

That or a neurosurgery.

 

You wish it was as simple as neurosurgery. I personally think distortion stems all the way from his Origin. Fire burned out everything he was, then he was Sword. That's not changing without doing another clean slate to his soul.

He COULD be a leader....but his self-sacrifice tendencies are still a pretty big obstacle. He makes a better second in command, tops.

I'd assign him to bodyguard detail myself. Protecting the squishy mage, that's something he can handle. Just keep a cleric and pile of diamonds handy, just in case.

 

Yeah, we need to deal with Zouken if we're going to make Shinji not a dick, and not end up fighting him.

 

Updates are going to be sporadic; I'm gonna be on vacation til the 17th. I'll have my laptop with me though; it's just I'm going to be hanging out with friends more often than being online.

I'll probably get an update out by Tue~Wed though.

 

Have fun on vacation Ender.
And pity me for having exams within a week. :'(

 

I'm back; with internet now!

So....Family wins; but there's a tie between stake in the war and game plan. If I could get a tiebreaker that'd be great, but I can run with both.

 

[X] Stake in the war

Get to writin', fella me lad.

 

Alright, you've decided; family and goals are what you're looking to find out, for now that is. It'll give you a better look at his character beyond 'Self-serving Chaotic Neutral who's a friend of Shirou's. Also likes magic'. After all, most teenage boys would rather woo women and generally do fuck all rather than risk their lives in a dangerous underground secret cabal war. Sure give em a year or two and then they'll be racing towards that shit guns a'blazing, but now? Nah, still too young for the standard 'adventurer's call' to actually reach them; barring some exceptions of course.

The moment you enter the Matou estate, all you see is chaos; an endless sea of papers, books, and scrolls cover every possible surface you can see. Plates with half-eaten food stand as islands within the sea of texts and notes, scattered throughout without rhyme or reason; all only grazed on at best. And in the center of it all was Shinji, pouring over a scroll and looking back on the spellbook you gave him; bags on his eyes and with unkempt hair, you can tell that he hasn't slept at all since the moment you gave him that tome.

You try to get his attention away from the book and onto you, "Hey, kid! We need to talk."

No response, he's still focused on the tome; "Hey, Shinji!"

Still nothing, "Shinji!!"

Nope, not a twitch; "HEY DUMBASS!!!!"

That finally snaps him out of it, he jolts up and notices you, "Wha? Huh? Oh, it's you. Hey-" Shinji yawns, "ahhh, whaddya need?"

"Well, I kinda realized that I forgot to talk to you about some stuff so I came here to get answers," you shrug and say with a rakish grin, "you know, cause we're partners now and stuff. So let's start with your family; what do they do, what's their history? You mentioned a grandpa...?"

"The Matou family is one of the three founders of the Holy Grail War, and normally has a representative participate in the war. However, we've been in a decline; our magic circuits dying out, to the point where I have none. I, the family heir, couldn't perform the family trade..."

Shinji's face darkens, and his voice becomes bitter and scornful, "Grandfather never considered it worthwhile to actually tell me that though until it was too late, just letting me waste and squander my hopes and dreams for his own sadistic amusement. The one thing I had always dreamed of doing, I learned I could never do. If I could, I'd kill the decrepit bastard; though I'm sure he'll croak any day now, he's more a living corpse than an actual person. Always has been; whatever time he has left isn't long, and I'll be glad when he does finally die..."

That was rather informative, Shinji just became a little more useful; and trustworthy. Guy just wants to prove himself and fulfill his dreams, despite them being impossible. Not his fault his gramps is a total asswipe.

Then you ask the kid, "And you goal; your wish and the reason for you going into this war is to prove yourself, right? At least, that's what I'm guessing here."

Shinji sighs, and rubs his eyes and says, "It was, but now? I have magic now, thanks to you; and while I still want to show them all how wrong they were, I don't actually need the grail for it anymore. Speaking of magic," he pulls out the tome you gave him, "You got any more of these?"

That was a little out of left field, "Umm, no. Sorry, any other tomes I had were all in my ship; and I don't have that anymore."

Shinji smiles and then says, "Well, I guess I have a wish now; getting you your ship back for more of these." He holds up the tome.

"Oh, uh, thanks man," wow, that's actually kinda nice of him; despite being done for more selfish reasons, "So, besides the asshole of a grandpa, any other family?"

"A sister, adopted, her name's Sakura; but you should already know that. She practically lives at Emiya's place, though she wasn't there today...I think..." Shinji scratches his head, trying to remember more than what he's been reading.

"Does she know about the whole magic family thing too?"

"No, not a thing." A lie, you can tell that right off the bad; and it's a little odd that Shinji, who can't use magic, could summon a Servant...

Hmmm...."What is she like, personality wise? Confrontational? Passive? You know..."

"Passive, definitely; avoids trying to cause trouble for anyone and rarely confronts anyone." It was actually Shirou who pitches in there, probably still digesting what he's heard about Shinji's family.

Shinji nods in agreement, "Yup, Emiya's nailed it right on the head there."

And like that it all clicks in place; adopted kid is obviously for renewing the family line, happens with noble families with fertility problems. War comes along and the chosen heir doesn't wanna fight; not their style or in their blood. So instead, get a patsy to do it for you; better yet, someone who wants to do it in your place. Everyone wins. It's actually more common that most would think; wizards getting others to do their dirty work for them, just focus on the summoning spells and necromancy, get some fighter meat-shields, and all the wizard has to do is sit back and enjoy the benefits. Lazy bastards.

Suddenly, you hear a roar and thunder echoing all around; rushing outside the four of you find a enormous serpent with radiant silver-white scales, horns like a stag, and vast wings akin to a dragon's. It's limbs a mix of that of a eagle's and a tiger's; or any great feline really, and with whiskers on it's snout like that of a rat and encased with golden armor that's solely ornamental above all else; it's a sight to behold.

Reaching in it's breastplate, it pulls out a envelope and hands it to you; then lays down on all fours, waiting for something. Hesitantly, you take the letter and open it; inside is an...invitation...

Wow, ok. You immediately write up a reply that you'll be there and give it to the dragon, who takes it and flies off. Apparently your one night out has paid off and gotten you an in with some really powerful people.

But back on the earlier topic, "Hey Shinji; since your family does thing with the whole circuit thing, can you do something to open them up? I think Shirou's got some and since he's balls at Vanacian Magic he might do better with your magic." You snap your fingers in front of a shell-shocked Shinji to snap him out of his awe.

"What? Oh," he thinks a bit about what you said, "Yeah, gimme a sec." With that, he races back into the house. Several mintues of waiting later he returns....

...With a dickworm. No, seriously; it's a worm shaped like a penis. Holy shit, you have no words.

Seaweed head tells you, "He needs to swallow this."

Well shit, that blows. Well, you gotta do what you gotta do; "Alright Shirou, open wide!"

"Wait a second; hold on-" Before he can finish, you ram the dickworm down his throat and force his mouth shut, making him swallow the damn thing. Seconds later, his eyes roll into the back of his head, he begins convulsing and foaming at the mouth. Damn, you may have seen some poisons out there do worse, but not by much.

You turn to Shinji with disbelief and ask him, "...And you wanted this?!"

Again, shell-shocked, Shinji replies, "....I'm starting to reevaluate my life dreams and ambitions."


Eventually, when Shirou gets better; you wave goodbye to a still stupefied Shinji and you, Shirou and Rider head off to continue your day and patrol as normal.

On the way back, Shirou gets called over by a friend of his; Issei, if you heard right, who apparently needs Shirou for something at the school. You think, you didn't really pay attention because four-eyes was nagging non-stop like he was Shirou's mother. However, you can feel something off with the kid who was pinging your 'ambiguously gay' signal on your gay-dar.

[X] Reject the offer
[X] Accept and go with Shirou
[X] Refuse, but tail him
[X] Write-in

Notes: So three year old brats are not good for the creative writing process I have learned; also, most nobility have messenger hawks. Gilgamesh has messenger dragons. King of Heroes still better than u.

 

Oh wow. Yep, Gilgamesh still lording it over us, but damn is this one awesome in doing it.

And huh, was expecting a longer discussion with Shinji. And things have not yet gone to shit on Matou front, surprisingly enough. We're still pretty much leaving them be. Shiny. Keeps us open on other stuff. Like the kickass invite. I totally want to keep Defiance of Fate in reserve for that one. It may help us put on a spectacular showing, on musical and social fronts.

Hmm, so how to deal with Issei...HMMMM. Well Shirou going alone to the temple isn't very good, but accompanying him directly isn't a guaranteed good idea either. Hard to say.

 

Actually, this is less lording over and more, "Wait, you mean people don't use messenger dragons anymore? Huh..." Never mind that he's using an oriental dragon as one; or how absurdly powerful a dragon is in and of itself.

What more does Shinji need to say? He's said more or less what he did in canon when he dragged Shirou over for an alliance, and there's little need to actually pry further; after all, Tandem's solved the puzzle of how a muggle did magic. Never mind that it's for the wrong reasons, but hey.

As for things boiling over; Zouken in canon basically handed the reigns to Shinji for the lulz, and only took them away in HF. Until he thinks Shinji's been too much of an embarrassment, he's doing fuck all in terms of interference here. And Sakura's...too passive to do anything in response to what's happening. Her character is such that because of how broken she is, she won't reach out and do anything about it. That's her character arc in HF; she feels tainted and unworthy, and so she doesn't reach out for what she desires when it's in front of her. If she is blamed for something, she will accept it and take punishment for it; hence her enabling reactions to Shinji's abuse.

Shinji's only as much of an asshole as he is because of external forces; sure he's naturally a prick and a bit of a arrogant douch, but the real nasty bits are basically enabled by the inaction of others. Because the first time Shinji went a raping Sakura, she didn't say no, much less try to fight him off.

...Also, I forgot something in the update; I'll fix it in a bit, derp.