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Twisted Pinwheel

Reader mode
Pipeman said:
the girl filled with a desire to understand and befriend everyone she encounters, even if she has to beat them down first.
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I remembered that there's this one joke made in a fanfic that had Nanoha's way of engaging in diplomatic relations starts with 'after the initial bombardment' or 'while the target is recovering', and ends with 'collateral damage' and 'casualties' XD
 
Ramen Boy
  • Threadmarks
    • Frankly?

    You're a little pleased with the boy's resolve. Not because you're impressed with him, but because the longer he's standing and the instructor hasn't called things decided, the longer you get to toy with him.

    It's just enough to get you to smile slightly.

    "You're going to stand and fight? How useless."

    You tap his fist aside again and lightly slap his broken ribs, leaving him stumbling to the ground and gasping.

    "You see? You aren't-"

    The boy interrupts by flailing into a back-hand. You squat slightly and rap a couple of your knuckles against his cracked ribs again.

    "Ghnargh!" is the closest approximation of the noise he makes.

    It's a little cruel. Actually, it's very cruel, but you can't help but feel a perverse enjoyment.

    "Is that all?" you ask, as he pants for breath on his knees, one hand in the dirt and the other across his chest. "Not a drop of skill, and you're going to face the devil of the Uchiha? Your willpower must border on masochism. How useless. Surrender is an option, you know?"

    "I won't." the boy grunts, wobbling back up to his feet.

    He's smiling, still. Why's he smiling at you? You're just going to hurt him more for it, and he should have realized that by now. Stupid boy. Or he really is a masochist. You're still a little pleased with the opportunity to vent, but you're starting to get annoyed with the boy himself.

    "Moron. Do you see my eyes?" you say, pointing them out. "With eyes like these, I can see everything you do before you do it. I'm faster and stronger than you too. That in account, even if you had a lot of taijutsu training I'd be the obvious winner, and you clearly don't have any. I'll be happy to break as many of your ribs as you like, if-"

    He moves again, fist lunging for your face and where you're already ready to catch his wrist in a display of superiority that the idiot can't possibly miss.

    "I told you, it's use-" you start in, pausing as you see him do something after you catch his wrist a moment before you catch his wrist.

    He opens his fist into a puffing palm and dust flies out, stinging your eyes. You shriek, slightly pained and furious and most importantly of all no longer having fun as you lash out with fingers slightly bent and bleed him, drawing lines of red across his face and your hand with your fingernails.

    Your vision is blurry at the moment through dust and tears, but you've immediately switched modes from hurting him because it's funny to hurting him because you're pissed.

    The next few moments are a blur in more than just vision, but when the instructor finally pulls the two of you apart you had your arms around the boy's neck from behind, slowly strangling him as you bit at his head.

    You finally get his name but spend more focus on picking golden threads out from between your teeth, trying to place...

    .... the taste in your mouth is coppery and salty, but it also tastes like food. Like miso, or almost beef broth...

    ...

    You lick a trace off your finger to confirm that he doesn't just have stupid ideas about how to wash his hair, and feel like you should boggle a little. He's named after a noodle topping and his blood tastes like ramen.

    That kid gives you a headache. He's waving as you stalk off to wash your face and get the dust out of your eyes. He'd better not think you're friends.

    Once everything's settled down you're divided into boys and girls and split up along the most unfair division of labor ever as the boys get sent to run through an obstacle course and the girls are sent to pick flowers.

    You're sent to pick flowers.

    Flowers.

    You quietly plot the death of the woman in charge of this class who seems to see absolutely nothing wrong with telling you to go pick a few flowers instead of doing anything meaningful.

    Wait. Maybe your temper is getting the better of you.

    Some flowers have medicinal purposes, right? And others, as a girl's shrieking from nearby reminds you, are toxic. You were told to just pick some you like, but maybe it's actually a test in disguise? Sorting out potential medics and poison-users from the idiots.

    If that's the case, then you'll delay the execution.

    ---

    [ ] ??
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Chibi-Reaper said:
    "Moron. Do you see my eyes?" you say, pointing them out. "With eyes like these, I can see everything you do before you do it. I'm faster and stronger than you too. That in account, even if you had a lot of taijutsu training I'd be the obvious winner, and you clearly don't have any. I'll be happy to break as many of your ribs as you like, if-"
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    Ah~, ah. Mio broke villain rules one and two. Explaining your weak point/power and not taking steps to protect it. For shame Mio.

    Edit: Or maybe I should say followed the Villain rules? Hmm.

    Edit 2: Also hopefully taught Mio a lesson that just because she has Sharingan doesn't mean she shouldn't be attentive.
     
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    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?

    Ooh, dirt in the hand. Pretty Clever, Naruto :)
     
    Last edited:
    mc2rpg said:
    Well this update has me thoroughly convinced that any interaction we have with Naruto should include causing him pain. Otherwise how will we know his willpower isn't faltering? Also, it is fun.
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    MIO Rule Number One: HAM.
    MIO Rule Number Two: All interactions with Naruto shall begin with broken bones. On his part. He heals fast.

    Also, my autocorrect put in MIO when I tried to type Mio. Clearly, it enjoys this quest just as much as I do.
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?


    Because, like, the teacher is there to make sure we don't accidentally poison ourselves while picking poisonous plants. And to help us find the right poisonous plants for our needs.
     
    I'm not sure why we want to pick poisonous plants. Especially since, by the cries of some of the girls. We weren't given any gloves. I think the trick is actually avoiding the poisonous plants.

    Edit: Or just not bother in the first place.

    [X] Figure out which plants are poisonous by taking note of the plants picked by other girls, as well as using any information in the book you copied.
    - [X] Grab a couple non poisonous flowers. Then find a place to read.
     
    Last edited:
    [X] Figure out which plants are poisonous by taking note of the plants picked by other girls, as well as using any information in the book you copied.
    -[X] Grab those poisonous plants that you know how to handle safely. Maybe some antidotal herbs in case of accident.

    Not sure if Mio is a sadistic tsundere or a sadist who holds her victims in contempt.
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Grab those poisonous plants that you know how to handle safely. Maybe some antidotal herbs in case of accident.
    --[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Grab those poisonous plants that you know how to handle safely. Maybe some antidotal herbs in case of accident.
    --[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?
     
    [X] Use our amazing eyes to find a variety of poisonous plants for use in punishing those that offend us.
    -[X] Grab those poisonous plants that you know how to handle safely. Maybe some antidotal herbs in case of accident.
    --[X] Make sure to ask the Teacher lots of questions about poisonous plants. That's why she's there after all, right?
     
    Chibi-Reaper said:
    The next few moments are a blur in more than just vision, but when the instructor finally pulls the two of you apart you had your arms around the boy's neck from behind, slowly strangling him as you bit at his head.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Hey, you know. Re-reading this.

    I now have an image of Mio climbing on Naruto's back, all while chocking him out and gnawing on his head like a squirrel.
    Naruto is of course waving his arms like a dumbass trying to get the demon squirrel off his head.
    It's a really surreal image.
     
    Last edited:
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