[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[dragon_cloud16]

How's this for a idea for a bit of Dragonslayer.

Jaune was often times stuck in bed from being so sickly. The only people he could talk to was his family at least until his mother signs him up for a penpal program. And he suddenly finds himself having to write letters to a Yang Xiao Long. Who surprisingly writes him back, to the point that they are pretty much their only friends that can be completely honest and blunt with each other.

Years go by, with Yang keeping up the habit of writting to Jaune who accepts and consoles her over everything that she had to do to support her little sister, father, and uncle. And Yang understands and supports him as he laments his denied chance to become a huntsman, his time spent studying medicine, and his slowly recovering/improving body. They send pictures rarely, and think that the other is cute.

Cue their arrival at Beacon, where Yang gets her boots thrown up on by Jaune. Although she is a bit more mature about it, even saying her best friend has motion sickness. It wouldn't be until she is passing by his locker, right when Pyrrha and Weiss are standing by it that she learns the guy that threw up on her boots was HER Jaune.

HER Jaune that didn't have a unlocked aura, didn't get combat training, and was often stuck in bed as a kid...

She tries to get his attention and instead gets partnered up with him during orientation. Leaving Weiss and Pyrrha to team up, Ren and Ruby, and Nora with Blake. She unlocks him aura damn near the next moment she gets even as she chews him out. But it isn't out of fear for him but because she cares for him.

And now the butterfly effect is fully in the air. How will Weiss and Pyrrha react to the sight of Yang literally pushing her bed against Jaune's to sleep with him on cold nights? How will Weiss react to Yang and Jaune being quite friendly and not as rambunctious since she doesn't have to push herself forward for Ruby' s sake?

How long until Nora breaks Blake's legs for getting into trouble and dragging her Renny into it?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Yang and Jaune rushed into the common room and changed the channel. They then sat down on the couch. Weiss and Blake scowled at them.

Weiss: "I was watching the news!"

Blake: "So was I!"

Yang: "What are you, sixty? ValeWatch is on!"

Weiss: "You're watching... Valewatch. The show about barely clad lifeguards who are also Hunters? Why?"

Yang: "Because it's trashy and terrible and hilarious!"

Jaune: "Totally!"

Nora: pops in "YEAH!"

Ren: "I believe the term is 'so bad it's good.'"

Blake: groans "There are literally dozens of better television series to watch than this trash."

Jaune: "Yeah, and I like those. But we also like this."

Yang: "Totally! Don't be so salty, Weiss! You'll sea the appeal!"

Weiss: "Uggggh... Wait, Ruby? Why are you watching?!"

Ruby: "I mean I don't really care about the acting or the drama or anything else... But I love the hardware! All the product placement of Winchester Armaments and Nachfolger Autocannons! It's so blatant but the gear is soooo cool!"

Yang: "And the hot studs don't hurt, either."

Ruby: bright red "YAAAANNNG!"

Yang: "What? I'm glad! I was afraid you'd end up with Crescent Rose as your boyfriend!"

Ruby: "That's sick and weird, Yang! He's my son!"

Pyrrha: sighs "Oh no... This show..."

Jaune: "Come on Pyr, it's great fun! Why are you so-?"

The opening credits reveal Pyrrha... In a tight red swimsuit... With her weapons... Jogging towards the camera on the beach. With 'And starring Pyrrha Nikos as Diana Prince.'

Jaune: "... Oh... Wow."

Yang: "HAHAHA! Seriously Cereal Girl?!"

Weiss: "What?!"

Pyrrha: bright red "It-It was for one season! My agent made me star on it! It was terrible!"

Jaune: "How bad could it be?"

One hour of thoroughly terrible television later...

Weiss: "... Let me get this straight. Diamond smugglers used a rocket powered surfboard to smuggle their stolen goods... And then it got eaten by a killer octopus... While terrorists held everyone in an airship that was about to explode... While Rich Masterson, aka Dave Hoff, had to give a charity concert?"

Blake: "... I have read fanfics that made more sense than this."

Yang: "And written them. But that's the charm! Also, damn Cereal Girl! You did take acting lessons, right?"

Pyrrha: moans, face in her hands "I tried. I really did... I was just so nervous..."

Jaune: "Well, um... For what it's worth, I thought you did a good job as a villainous femme fatale... At least when you weren't speaking."

Pyrrha: "R-Really?" brightens

Jaune: "Yeah! Also... Hahahahaha! Oh man... That guy cast the opposite of you was so dense! His character can't tell your character was into him?! What a numbskull! There's nobody that dense in real life!"

Pyrrha: "Ha... Haha... Y-Yes..."

Nora: "I liked the explosions! Though I think they just reused them from the last season!"

Yang: "Yeah, those were dope. Crazy part? This isn't even the first time they had a terrorist plot with diamond smuggling and a giant killer octopus."

Jaune: "Oh man, and that alien abduction episode? What was that about?"

Yang: "I know right?!"

Weiss: "Ruby... Please tell me you did not enjoy that travesty."

Ruby: "Did you see those rescue airships?! The latest Wayland Tigertails! Ooh, I think they got the upgraded IFF sensor nodes, too!"

Weiss: "... I'm the only sane one here, aren't I?"

Blake: "Ha. Please."

Yang: "So... You don't want to watch more?"

Weiss: "..." sighs "Fine."

Yang and Jaune: "WOO!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Blake: "What's next? Lifeguards fighting samurai? Or ninjas? Or ninja samurai?!"

Jaune: "Actually, they already had episodes with samurai. And ninja. And ninja samurai."

Blake: "Wait. What."

Yang: "Yeah! Dave Hoff put away a Fuujin crimelord and when he gets out of jail, he comes after Dave to try and kill him and his family! With his team of ninjas!"

Weiss: "... How did a lifeguard put a Fuujin crimelord in jail?"

Yang: "Those kinds of questions don't matter when it comes to Valewatch."

Jaune: "Honestly, asking any more questions than necessary kind of defeats the point of watching it."

Blake: "So... Don't think about it?"

Yang: "Nope!"

Jaune: "Not too hard, or you'll give yourself a stroke."

Weiss: "And so much is explained about you two blond bimbos."

Yang and Jaune: "Hey!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Once again, our heroes are tuning in for another episode of ValeWatch. Even Weiss has gotten into making fun of the stupid show.

Weiss: "Vikings... Frozen Vikings from Solitas. They were in an ice berg, unfroze, and attacked the city."

Yang: laughing her ass off

Jaune: ditto

Ruby: "Ugh... Those axes and swords are all wrong! They're modern Dust refined steel, not forged!"

Nora: "I know right?! My enjoyment of this episode is severely impaired!"

Ren: "More caramel popcorn?"

Nora: "Thanks Renny! I am appeased!"

Weiss: groans "Well at least Pyrrha is in the episode to-"

Pyrrha on screen: "Hey you! Stop that! You Vikings! Are! So bad! I will defeat you!"

Weiss: Stares at Pyrrha "... How many acting classes did you take again?"

Pyrrha: blush "I was nervous!"

Jaune: "Still, this is a great fight scene. You're the best at those, Pyr!"

Pyrrha: "I-Oh, w-well, thank you!"

Yang: "Hmph. I could do better fight scenes..."

Jaune: "Huh?"

Yang: louder "Yeah, that was basically the only saving grace of this show: Cool fight scenes, hot guys and girls, and total insanity."

Weiss: "Wait, was? It was cancelled?!"

Jaune: "Yeah. I'm guessing they brought Pyr on as a desperate hail mary?"

Pyrrha: "Unfortunately, yes. Then they made a spin off set in Menagerie and um... Well that lasted four episodes before being canceled."

Ruby: "I heard the producer got thrown out of a window in his office building."

Stares

Ruby: "He was fine after!"

Nora: "Oh good! That's what I was worried about!"

Yang: "So, you've gotta have all kinds of dirt from behind the scenes, Cereal Girl-Right?"

Pyrrha: "Oh, well... Not really. Mister Hoff was actually very nice. He tried to help me with acting and even gave me advice for a singing career... Which um... I didn't go for. Not fully."

Jaune: "I bet you sing great!"

Pyrrha: bright red "Th-Thank you!"

Yang: scowls "I also sing, ya know."

Jaune: "Oh, I'm sorry Yang. I'd love to hear you sing too!"

Weiss: "I am literally a professional singer!"

Jaune: blinks "But I've already heard you sing, Weiss."

Weiss: "Hmph!"

Jaune: ... Women.

Jaune: "Anyway! Next episode!"

Weiss: "Please tell me this isn't as crazy as the last one?"

Yang: "It totally isn't! In fact, Blake? Stop reading your smut fics and watch with us! I think you'll find it hilarious!"

Blake: "I somehow doubt it."

They watch... And...

Blake: "... Let me get this straight. The Straw Feminist and Faunus Rights Activist who died an episode ago... Is reincarnated as a dog."

Yang: "Eeyup!"

Jaune: "Totally!"

Blake: "... And this episode's writer's other credits include?"

Jaune: "Mostly 'World's Blankiest Blank' kind of stuff."

Blake: "Well, at least they're consistent."

Weiss: smirk "Oh, I am just loving this~."

Blake: "You would, racist!"

Weiss: "Brat!"

Blake: "Sow!"

Weiss: "Hypocrite!"

Jaune: sighs as Weiss and Blake argue "Maybe this was a bad idea."

Yang: "At least it wasn't the Cat People Episode. We'd never hear the end of it."