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SHINOBI: The RPG - New Game

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Fulcon, Jun 17, 2020.

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  1. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

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    He's mean like that. :p

    Hmmmmm...

    Jashin's (green guy) more powerful in the traditional sense - he just has (figuratively) infinite chakra, health and millennia of experience. Doesn't even need to use hand signs to use Genjutsu. The other guy is the one with the console commands.

    Exactly! Plus, they are cheerful and smile a ton while being extra helpful! So he wasn't lying, just Naruto doesn't understand that they're more reminiscent of Mark Hamill's joker.

    Have a cookie, friend. I love posts like yours that try to go through the chapter and find stuff to talk about.

    Well, thank you my good friend. :)
     
  2. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

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    Okay first, I will laugh like a goddamn madman when Hiruzen eventually learns that Kurama wasn't the aggressor in that little conflict. None of you can stop me.... Well.... Fulcon can stop me, theoretically, by making him not live long enough to learn that, but I'm pretty sure he enjoys dropping bricks on Hiruzen almost as much as I do.

    I also like the incorporation of our language in the lore talks with the leper comment.

    Good on Hisako's dear sweet mother to take the save in hand, and teach her daughter to fish properly. Also, the mental image of Daisuke caught while fishing, completely with flailing around by the hook in his mouth. Your mental eye has seen it, and now it can't unsee it.

    Kakashi really REALLY needs to learn that his team reciprocates his protective feelings, and that's it's better to live for people than die for them.

    Nichiren, meanwhile, has his first impressive combat showing as he passes through a right of combat that turns all boys into men.

    Finally, goddammit Jashin. I know younglings are malleable, but that shit was blatant. Oh well, signs are pointing towards Kitsune which should be fun. Assuming I'm right of course, I'm always up for soundboarding on how they should act and what they can commonly do.

    Quick primer, the bonus to genjutsu comes with a hideous penalty to melee. Kitsune generally don't train muscle mass, are much easier to harm than your average ninja due to weaker chakra enhancement. Melee weapons, if used, are primarily about making and maintaining distance, such as the sword-spear or similar. They can do ranged attack jutsu, but generally prefer to win fights before they get loud using their specialty. The fact Naruto makes a good physical meat tank, and mass area control ALSO makes him a good summoner if properly trained.
     
  3. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

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    It's strange that this post showed up after several others, yet is placed before them in the thread. It's interesting.

    But yeah, that's why I picked Dolphin's for this. Have a cookie.

    I enjoy dropping bricks well enough.

    Because it's fun.

    Ah, yes. That. I wasn't sure how else to say what I wanted to say in more Naruto-esque terms, but I'm glad it works, at least.

    Because men and women need to learn about each other and appreciate each others differences if any kind of relationship between the two is going to work.

    Yes, but why though?

    He does! He will. Eventually.

    And thus, he stands just a little taller.

    Interesting that it's the big bad of the whole fic who oversaw his initiation.

    He's okay with being blatant; he's trying to ruin everything, while also fixing everything that got broken.

    Your post helped me finish this chapter so quickly.

    Thank you for that, have a cookie.

    *nods and takes notes*

    Thank you for your contribution.
     
  4. Graeme404

    Graeme404 Getting sticky.

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    Or fuck you to death on accident
     
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  5. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

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    Accident.

    Hah.
     
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  6. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

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    But of course accident. We all know it meant to prolong the suffering.
     
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  7. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    I wonder when the dolphins are evil meme started to really take off. They've saved so many of our lives from sharks, and drowning, and work side by side with us catching fish. Sure, some of them've got some habits that we'd consider nasty if a human did it, but by and large humans far outstrip them to the point that calling their species evil is hyperbolic hypocrisy. Nature generally isn't malicious, it's just amoral.

    Still, another good one. I like that the antagonists are taking more of a role in the story early on.
     
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  8. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

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    I don't know. I just think its a fun meme that I may or may not have taken a little bit too serious in my thinking before.

    Thank you.

    Again, more screen time means they aren't a surprise when they show up which means people don't get upset.

    Have a cookie you wonderful person. :)
     
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  9. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    And I shall eat that cookie!

    Aye, it is a fun meme, and has been building for a while. It's even stronger than rapesloths.

    Edit: I just realised, Naruto is a trickster who's full of hot air. He's probably going to get the monkey contract and be interviewed by Sarutobi's personal contract. Basing that off the trickster archetype, hanuman/sunwukong.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2020
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  10. l---erddad---l

    l---erddad---l Wait, google can see this?

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    One trick ponies. This might have been intentional, and aside from this the chapter was perfect, but this hurts my head.
     
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  11. Planeshunter

    Planeshunter [Verified Slimegirl Whisperer]

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    I feel I have to carry a torch for the sharks here, shark attacks are actually pretty rare. If not for the Jaws movies most of us would've provably never heard of them beyond nature documentaries. That's just another meme (or... you know, a meme ancestor, since it's so old.)

    I agree on Naruto's part, and this scenario sure would be fun to read. If it doesn't make it as canon, maybe an omake?

    That said, The Sun Wukong I remember was nothing like that. He was an overpowered aggressive drunk that did whatever the hell he wanted until someone made him take a chill pill. And that someone had to be a creator god, because the bastard had just broken Shiva's spine in a fight and was still growing stronger and rowdier.

    ... At least, that's the myth I read as a kid. I understand there might be wildly varying narratives.
     
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  12. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Not too sore, are you?

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    One of these days someone will do an Elephant summon-clan justice, and it will be glorious! Unfortunately Naruto and those he could share the scroll with aren’t likely to match with such a respectable creature.

    So Danzig escaped... Will he shack up with a villain, perhaps in preparation for a betrayal? It seems probable, but only if this contact comes to Danzo as an ally instead of a boss. Perhaps Danzo will stay in the land of Fire though, slashing and burning through (political) investments he is now happy to harvest, at the country’s expense? Hmm. I am going to be amused if he gets captured and dissected by Orochimaru though, since that is a significant butterfly wing flap.

    Too bad we didn’t get to see mister Hatake submitting a mission report or sparring (to let off steam) with Gai though. The former would indicate his plans for the Team and the latter would indicate his emotional state will take a different path than canon. At least we have some pieces to examine from the mission chapters.

    Thanks for the chapter, Fulcon!
     
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  13. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Nah, shark attacks are "common", with 205 attacks in Australia in the last 9 years. Death by sharks are rare, with only 21 fatalities over that same period. That's with shark nets everywhere, lifeguard lookouts, drones doing lookout, and other preventative measures.

    They don't like to eat us, because healthy adults don't have enough fat to count as decent shark diet, but they don't mind having a nibble to see if we're seals. Also, yeah, most sharks aren't going to come near us, or want to, but then there are the hammerheads and tiger sharks that are happy to.

    Wouldn't mind seeing an Elephant summons, but that'd probably best work with the nomnom clan.
     
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  14. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

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    For elephants, I agree if anyone gets it it's probably Choji. Big unstoppable walls of meat that prefer not to fight, will generally only attack if attacked, and spend most all their time eating, relaxing, or caring for the young? There's only one clan that fits.

    For monkeys one must remember that they already have a summoner, that we've seen their leader, and he's not trickster style, that Naruto would probably be safe their first reaction would almost certainly be to return him directly to the Hokage, and that I made my recommendation partially based on stuff that would likely go through. An omake would be hilarious though.
     
  15. dragondude

    dragondude Not too sore, are you?

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    It makes sense that 'satoshi' is playing moral support and giving naruto advice on getting stronger. Jashin's thing was abetting villainous acts to prompt the rise of a hero. That conversation also implies that 'labcoat guy' is doing things 'satoshi' doesn't like and he can't currently do anything about it. Which makes for a strange situation where the heroes are being supported and semi-mentored by satoshi, who is totally on their side, at least until they get rid of labcoat guy.

    I'm also rooting for hisako, with her being mentally healthier and daisuke grokking how people think with his 'super-henge', I think they could help identify and resolve eachother's issues.
     
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  16. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

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    Honestly I'm pretty sure 'Satoshi' is primarily chaotic evil alignment. Why chaotic? His actions seem to be based on throwing monkey wrenches into organized systems for bad outcomes, as opposed to using organized systems for bad outcomes. Dark Knight Joker with a sense of patience, and a desire to go unnoticed.

    We all know he's evil, but I feel it's important to gauge what flavor/archetype we're dealing with. It helps contextualize actions, and traits for prediction.
     
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  17. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

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    I'll go ahead and fix that.

    Aaaaaand fixed! Thank you, I wasn't sure which one it was.

    Journey to the West?

    Also known as the basis for almost every anime ever.

    Especially Dragon Ball.

    One day, you will be right. But since Daisuke has Penguins, Nichiren has Spiders and Hisako has...actually, Kitsune are a great match for her....

    Heeeee...see, having Danzo's betrayal plot take a bigger role in the fic lets me tie events closer together and I am so glad I can do that! As for all of this speculation...its definitely possible! :D

    Maybe later. I admit, I wasn't sure what else to do with Kakashi beyond getting him to talk to the Memorial Stone because...honestly, I wanted to get really, really close to Mr. Hatake. But both of those things you mentioned are great!

    No, no. Thank you.

    Nomnom clan?

    I need to know this.

    EDIT: Wait, are you talking about the Akimichi?

    If so, that's hilarious.

    I...completely agree with this analysis. Choji would get elephants. I really like this! Thanks, Plumber!

    Agreed.

    To be honest, I wasn't sure if Jashin was being honest when I was writing that. But having him cause bad people to act up to catalyze heroes would make him not only a God of Evil...but also a God of Antagonists and Heroic Journeys. You have to bear in mind that when Jashin starts poking society with a stick and getting evil people to start gaining power and wreaking havoc, he will only stop when #1: A hero ruins his antagonist or #2: Humanity is extinct. His is a bad guy who believes that things who cannot properly keep themselves healthy do not deserve to live. It's not even a strength question, but more of how robust a society's immune system is.

    He's like a psychopath who deliberately injects his victims with viruses and diseases. And his victim is society. The problem is that he can't inject a victim with a virus if that victim's been burned to ash.

    Daisuke getting a harem basically means that all the girls can 'win' in that they get the relationship they want. But this approach has a ton of flaws and Daisuke and his girlfriends will need to work to overcome. Can't fix the problems, only outgrow them.

    My intended alignment for 'Satoshi' is Lawful Evil. The thing right now is that he has no reason to hold to any form of code, so he acts with impunity for the detriment of everything, that's the Evil part.

    'Satoshi' vs. 'Labcoat Guy' is evil vs. evil.

    The lawful side of Satoshi comes in when he makes a deal with someone. His word is his bond. He will never, ever, go back on a promise or (more likely) a deal. He will even give you a grace period and tell you if you've accidentally violated your terms of the agreement and give you a way to get back into his good graces. But if you break a deal and try to get out of it (without talking to him), there is no saving you. You will die and your soul will be his colleague's afternoon snack. But if you keep your end of the bargain and manage to negotiate your way out of the deal with most of your limbs, you're good.

    (seriously, it usually comes out to losing your hand or something).
     
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  18. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Versed in the lewd.

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    So who gets the hippos?
     
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  19. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

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    ...that is a fantastic question.
     
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  20. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

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    Acts chaotic most of the time by hitting society with a sock full of batteries to see what happens, but has one rule he won't break? I'd call that either Chaotic with lawful tendency or neutral. If I were to put it on a sliding scale I'd say halfway between chaotic and neutral. It is both important, and helpful to know what the rule is, and it will be factored in.

    An important thing to keep in mind if you have two summoners of kitsune in the same village, said foxes are likely to push some measure of reconciliation between Naruto and Daisuke, both to protect their interests, and because kitsune hate bonds breaking. Don't break a deal in front of a kitsune. It's bad. Don't break a deal WITH a kitsune. It's much, much worse. Same thing applies to bonds. They can be relied upon to hold their end, and fully expect others to act similarly in that regard.

    Also I quite like spiders to supplement Nichiren. A summon supplementing strengths instead of weaknesses. May even set up a fun rivalry with Shino. Which bug man is best bug man?!

    Edit: On hippos, the obvious answers would be either an uncharacteristically angry akimichi, or possibly that earth themed Orochimaru minion. That is if we are throwing way more animals into the story.
     
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  21. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Versed in the lewd.

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    They are unstoppable juggernauts of death and muscle, extremely territorial, deceptively fast and nimble, and terrifying as fuck.
     
  22. Darkarma

    Darkarma Loli Tentacle Slime

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    They do fit. They are wiley, mischievous, curious and often get themselves into far to much trouble. Plus foxes are cute-awesome and awesome-cute. And I'm gushing.

    I'm all for her getting kitsune/fox summons

    Examples of fox fun:
    https://twitter.com/foxguardiansuk/status/1294232227023290371

    https://twitter.com/ru_ruru831/status/1293177117773934594
     
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  23. Planeshunter

    Planeshunter [Verified Slimegirl Whisperer]

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    Journey to the West was actually a sequel... or what at the time passed for sequel.

    Sun Wukong was a force of nature who nobody could stop... until Buddha sealed him inside a mountain. 500 Years later Xuanzang takes him as traveling companion as a sort of redemption/atonement thing, but by then he's calmed down a lot.

    I always thought the first part of the myth (until Buddha gets fed up with his shit and gives him a time out) was older than buddhism, and that the second part was slapped on it later on, when it became the predominant religion of the area.

    And yeah, Wukong was very much like a Saiyan before his time out.

    EDIT: Okay, I didn't remember the first part of his myth was included in the Journey to the West. My opinion still stands though.
     
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  24. SebazuD

    SebazuD Versed in the lewd.

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    Having super powerful "evil" characters for the sake of being evil and assholes is...ugh.

    They just feel annoying and tacked on.

    Like, the world is filled with dangerous shit but no matter what the character does he's gonna get screwed over?

    That's not a good story.
     
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  25. Vinom

    Vinom Getting sticky.

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    See, if the character is human I agree with that. But deities, fae, and other beings with beyond mundane anatomy and needs will have beyond mundane morality. Having such a being acting in the background, stirring the pot, is how you prevent the Gelel Stone wielding empire from just ruling forever.
     
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  26. Seij

    Seij Conveniently Generic Title

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    Yes. Ramen. Is. Good.

    Also, I think you don't have to translate Dolphins and their acts too literally. Yes they've been known to herd away females to beat and bite into submission before gang-banging them, but you could take that as a willingness to cooperate with others in order to achieve something they really want. No matter the method. And not actually see Jashin as a person who likes gang rape.

    Their general unpredictability and tendency to like games even at the expense of others doesn't have to be dialed to eleven. It could represent their general penchant for entertainment. And the stories of how Dolphins save others could be an extension of that. They did it because they can, and it was a challenge. It was fun.
     
  27. Fulcon

    Fulcon Wim Hoff Method Initiate

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    I think Jashin qualifies as Lawful evil because he's the one who sets the rules and those rules are consistent. He's the head of his church and dictates to his followers their code of conduct and how he is to be worshiped. Can a Monarch not be lawful because he's the one who sets the rules, good or evil?

    Great point, I actually hadn't thought of that. Thank you. :)

    I think the rivalry might wind up being a lot more bitter when it comes to fruition. See, spiders and other arachnids are predators to insects (if I understand correctly), which means that by and large the Aburame are going to hate the Nakamura on at least some level.

    I actually want to avoid overcrowding the fic with summons, so most of this is just strictly a world-building exercise (you probably already knew that, just that it bears explanation).

    Yeah, pretty nasty. I almost thought they'd be a good animal for Daisuke if I wasn't already so sold on penguins.

    ...actually, a question for everyone. Do Penguins still fit Daisuke?

    And I think it's a valid opinion.

    They can be beaten, just not permanently.

    Like comic book villains; even if you kill them, they'll always come back.

    I'm sorry you feel that way.

    The stone of Gelel Empire thingy...I don't get it. They just seem so impossibly out of place. I mean, I think that's the point, but my first encounter with them was in Dreaming of Sunshine and that was honestly the first time in that fic I can honestly tell you that I had no idea what was happening.

    Ye.

    Speaking now, I have no plans to ever depict rape in this story.

    That's another valid point, thank you. Even gives another facet to Jashin, he sets rules for his challenge and then abides by them until either humanity completes it or passes away.
     
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  28. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

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    I did forget to account for the rules if his religious organization. Perhaps I should expand my labeling to causing chaos for society as a whole, but order for he and his? That's solid neutral evil as opposed to the tentative I had before. It's difficult to argue for straight lawful with the goalset described, but you have made good progress away from the perception of straight chaotic I started with..

    Onto the other topics. Spiders will eat virtually anything that gets caught in their web and stays trapped. Some of the larger ones even hunt small mammals and reptiles. Also fish in the case of those crazy bastard diving spiders. This is before you bring in larger ninja spiders who will gladly eat anything their much more impressive webs/jumping spider ganking will get them. The point of all this is that while spiders are commonly depicted as eating a lot of bugs, they're much closer to generalist carnivores at their size.

    The Aburame's insects, on the other hand, are depicted as eating chakra while coming in a wide variety of adaptive breeds. This chakra diet puts them as predators to.... stuff that's alive? Point is neither is in a particularly other targeting position.

    Now onto Daisuke. Penguins from the last version were depicted as being about combat, spectacle, and throw in a lot of humor. Daisuke is a bit less aggro than he was, and his good helper nature shines through more. If he stays with penguins he'd jive more with the funny than he did before and less with the fighty.

    If you want an alternative to switch to I'm pitching turtles. He has a natural tendency to help and to protect that's only brought more to the fore by his better relationships. Turtles are all about protection, and being a goddamn force of nature. They'd also be a VERY powerful summon clan due to the four guardians link putting them in the same mythical respect tier as tigers phoenixes, and DRAGONS.

    If you go that route, turtles love protecting the weak, and conversely will not abide their victimization. They're also reluctant to start fights, but will finish them.

    As for what they'd bring mechanically, they have some of the highest defense of any summon characterized by a complete and utter inability to give a fuck about attacks from anything in their weight class. On offense think very slow, very straightforward, big, powerful moves. Physical attacks and ninjutsu that hit like a goddamn truck with lots of windup. NO genjutsu.
     
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  29. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Versed in the lewd.

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    Wasn't the tortoise that Gai has as a summon stupid fast when it feels like it?
     
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  30. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Know what you're doing yet?

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    For being able to react to and stop Lee's lotus after it hit the entirely predictable falling part that still takes several seconds? I wouldn't call that stupid fast, and it's the personal summon of a speed character meaning it's likely one of the faster turtles alive. Further it did that by throwing a projectile as opposed to actually moving it's own body particularly quickly.
     
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