Tandem the Spoony's Next Adventure [F/SN x CM(D&D)]

I'm, uh....not really seeing the point. I mean I'll roll now if you want me to, but whether to use Glibness seems like a group decision. And the only reason I can see is if Gilgamesh is eavesdropping.

Unless we can retroactively apply glibness after the roll? Seems like cheating.

 

I just wanted to hammer in the massive gap between foolish mortals and Servants, and just what you can pull off on regular muggles. Kotomine does have some fairly high resistance, but it's not enough to make a huge difference. Also, if Gilgamesh was right next to him or there in a manner to offer his insight; you'd be using the Servant version of the roll, with Kirei having the same resistances. That boils down to something like... 1d20+4.

Edit: On glibness, I wanted to remind people that yes; you do have a method of boosting bluff even higher if you so choose. All at the cost of one Third Level spell slot.

 

I was thinking more about Gilgamesh being in the wings, listening in, and they talk afterwards. In which case, he might not be buying it and Glibness might actually make a difference. Also depends on Glibness' cost and Shirou....but mostly if Gilgamesh will be offering said insight afterwards.

If I'm over thinking, just tell me to shut up and roll.

 

Definitely Cast Glibness. We want to not have any lies we make be magically detectable. And isn't that a nice little piece of spellcraft to have.

Its night time. We can use a third level spell slot to ensure our position to the moderator is as we explain it. So he will accept our truth.

 

You know what, screw it. I'll roll, cast Glibness, for Tandem this can be a learning experience. Yes, the moderator of the War for the omnipotent wish granting device might as well be a gullible child compared to him. Hoo boy. Poor guy, his job must be so hard. And he's a priest so the poor bastard probably doesn't get paid!


[blockquote]Rolled 1d20+170 : 10 + 170, total 180[/blockquote]

 

You...you already get a plus 140 modifier to the roll. I was joking about needing that roll; I just wanted to point out how using skills on non-Servant Tier level targets works out.

 

Perfectly average. Which means stupendously high. But, we didn't critfail and that's enough.

 

Yep, but I'm just voting to make the outcome even wilder. O

 

Well, use it any way.

 

*EDI Voice*That was a joke.

 

Good Lord; I now have to find out how such a massively successful bluff will work out. Thankfully, I have some ideas.

Update is now in the works.

 

I was wondering why Ender bothered asking considering....well, it's practically a formality to convince Kotomine barring critical failure.

But in this case, I figured Tandem himself might not realize that he overwhelms everyone not a Servant. And that he would overestimate the moderator and walk in expecting a level appropriate encounter, considering the nature of the wish granting device, only to find out he wasted a third level spell for nothing. Like I said, learning experience.

Also, perhaps when Kotomine feeds Tandem that line of bull about having the Grail in his study or whatever, Tandem tries to convince Kotomine that he appreciates Kotomine holding onto his Grail for him, but it's time to give it back. Then Kotomine is nodding and walking back to do exactly that when he remembers,

'Wait, there is no Grail.'

'....'

'Shit.'

 

And that is why I love this game. Shit like this can happen. Most GM's don't like letting the players see that they really are superhuman at times.

 

Roll a D100, get a nat100.
Roll 4 D20. Get 3 20's and a 19.
Become a God. Sure why the fuck not?
Seduce a Goddess? Not even a problem.
Fuck you I'm Tamdem The Spoony!

 

Not everything is sunshine and rainbows you know; it wouldn't be much of a quest if everything went your way all the time.

It might not be right now; but karma is a bitch...

 

I know, but I'm enjoying the high while we have it.

 

Too bad Spoony isn't. There are fights sure but where is the bear and wenches~?!

 

I'm sure this will come back to bite us without any rolls on our part. Killing Saber, taking her sword? Sooner or later, Gilgamesh ain't gonna be happy. And then....Interesting Times.

But seriously, for the moment we're bluffing enough to convince Kotomine to disbelieve his own eyes and senses in favor of us. We can probably spin this close to however we want because Kotomine has no idea what he's about to get hit by and can't make any desperate prep like writing down the truth. And we could STILL probably convince him that what's written are lies from Kiritsugu from beyond the Veil trying to fuck with him. And until Gilgamesh sets the record straight, Kotomine will never catch on.

 

Wonder if we can bluff Kotomine so hard he actually feels emotion..?

 

That....

Hmm.

Maybe, maybe not, but we can probably convince him that what he feels without suffering, i.e. numbness, is actually happiness. And if he believes himself to be happy, how different is that from actually being happy?

 

Silly Kotomine~! That is just heartburn! O

 

You decide that checking in with the Administrator of the War was a good idea; it's help Shirou further understand what exactly he's in for, and lets you figure out how safe this 'Neutral Ground' is. It might also give you some more info on how the Grail works besides 'grants wishes', because those fuckers always find a way to shaft you. 99% of the time you wish'll go FUBAR and then your life goes down the crapper. Hell, the only reason you still hold onto that Luck Blade is because you never know when things have gone so far off the deep end that a wish that'll probably fuck up is the only way to make things better. When you have literally nothing else to turn to, and it's better to risk it then watch things get worse.

You've never been in that sort of situation; yet, at least. But you know it's going to come eventually; so it's best to be prepared. And hey, maybe that wish will be the 1% that doesn't fuck you over. It could happen.

Regardless, it's time to actually act instead of ponder; "Hey Shirou, let's go meet the Administrator of this whole thing and get registered, or whatever. The weird info download that taught me all this stuff was sorta vague on that. Besides, we can see how well protected this 'Neutral Ground' is."

Shirou nods, "Right, let's go." With that, you both enter the church, ready to meed the guy making sure that nobody screws the pooch and ends up causing a hugeass incident that can't be covered up.

The moment you walk in; you realize it. 'Evil Lair. Fucking Evil Lair. Holy Shit is this one helluva Evil Lair'. Well...that answered that question. Oh yeah, the Grail; so not worth it. And probably a total trap. You then notice the Administrator; mullet, dead eyes, a grin that's more fake than a two dollar elf whore, off-kilter vibe that makes you feel edgy: the man's completely fucking evil. Irredeemably so; he's probably behind this whole mess. Right then, at least you knew who to kill once you dealt with everyone else.

Then the fucker speaks, "Ah, hello there; I presume that you are a Master participating in the Holy Grail War, along with his Servant?"

Holy Crap, he even sounds evil; how does he get away with even existing! Alright then; looks like it's time to begin some verbal warfare, the best kind of warfare. Subtly casting a Glibness spell on yourself, you begin to bluff to the man, "Yes, I am Servant Saber, and this is my Master; Elfanderel von Lichtenstein. He is a great Lord of Magi, ruler of all that is mystical in Western Europe. He's participating in the war to get revenge on the Emiya clan for killing his grandfather, Lord Karnavash. We were hoping to verify our place in the Holy Grail War and make sure we were clear on what is and isn't permitted. That is if you weren't busy Mr..."

"Ah, my name is Kotomine Kirei; and it is an honor to have a magus of such high social standing participating in the Holy Grail War. Now then," he turns to Shirou, "What questions do you have, Lord Von Lichtenstein?"

"Um...this church, it is Neutral Ground; correct? What exactly prevents Masters or Servants from attacking here?"

"Ah, that would both bring the full force of the Church upon them for violating the terms of our supervision; as well as potentially destroy the Grail, for it is here that it is rewarded to the victor." Bullshit, you can tell that there's something he's hiding. Oh it's hidden; the part about the Church and the Grail were mostly right, mostly. But you can tell he's hiding something about the Grail itself.

"Ah, My Lord; if I may ask, do you not have any other retainers? I would assume one of your stature wouldn't travel alone." For a moment, you thought Kotomine was calling your bluff; except that from what you can tell, he was genuinely curious. He totally bought the whole story, not even questioning it. You...you never bluffed this well; bluffing needs you to constantly keep the target on their toes, while also keeping them grounded enough that they don't think you're full of shit. And Kotomine doesn't look nor seem like the gullible sort, so what gives? I mean, it's not like you're some super...

...Wait. You were some sort of super being. Immediately, the Grail fills your mind on what parameters are and how they compare to a regular person. It was...staggering. Man, you were near the levels of power you had as a Demi-God, but without all the obligations and duties. Awesome.

Oh, right; this guy. Well, since you can officially get him to believe anything you say as gospel from his God; might as well go for broke. You turn on him with false fury, "Fool! You dare assume that Lord Elfanderel is so weak as to need an escort?! The endless hordes of magi from the Orient can not even match a tenth of my Master's power and grace! I should force you to prostate where you stand."

"Ah, forgive me for my transgressions; I simply could not grasp the might your Master wields, Saber." Heh, this was kinda fun. You turn to Shirou, "Is there anything else you require from the priest, Milord?"

"Umm...no, not right now; thank you Saber." Phew, glad he was smart enough to catch on; though it should've been fairly obvious given how you were acting. Now to fuck with the priest further...

"Kotomine; you fake smile cannot fool me, for the eyes are the gateway to the soul. I know what you truly are inside." Again, bullshit; but you should be able to get something outta him with this.

He becomes shocked the moment you say this, "I...I don't understand Saber, I am a simple man of the clo-"

"Do not lie; mortal! I can see the true darkness within you, what it hungers and desires. Yes...deep down, you feel it don't you? Lurking from within, defiling your faith and trampling on whatever goodness was instilled into you by the God you serve..." More BS, but it looks like you're hitting gold here.

"I...I have been forsaken by God; what other reason is there for a man such as I to exist? A man who's very being spits upon the Lord's gospel?!"

This was Grade-A stuff here, man. Time to continue, "Heh, is your faith so weak; Kotomine? Is it not clear what the Lord asks of you? Your 'curse' is a gift, bestowed by the very God you feel abandoned you..."

He looks distraught, every word you speak an arrow into his heart and soul; pleadingly he begs, "Why? What purpose does God have for a man who only finds joy and pleasure from the suffering and misery of others?! Why would God make one of his flock a warped, perverted monster?!"

Time to nail the final nail into this coffin of bullshit, "Why, to fight against the evils that go against him; of course. A normal man will break, being forced to fight against such monstrous beings who's very essence defiles the world. Who require such gruesome means to vanquish; means that would break lesser men. But you; you were made to bask in it, in the slaying of these monsters. To enjoy watching the enemies of the Lord squirm in agony as you used the very means they used to blaspheme against him as their punishment. Lesser men will break, Kirei; but you...you will grow, and flourish."

"God has chosen you to be the unbreakable bulwark against all that is evil; making you unable to be broken and warped by their whispers and temptations, for you are already one who basks in such. But it is not the suffering of man you bathe in; but of those of demons and heretics."

"Do you understand; Kotomine Kirei?"

"............................Yes." The man looks as if his entire worldview was torn to shreds; only for it to be a hollow imitation of what his life really was.

"I am sorry; Saber, Lord Lichtenstein, but I must pray and attend to my duties as a man of God. You may come at any time if you have further need of me. I must...pray..."

Mission Accomplished: Mindfuck of the Mullet Mastermind. You give yourself a mental pat on the back, nod at Shirou, and the both of you leave the Church. Shirou has this awestruck look on his face; like it was his birthday and Christmas combined. Not sure why he has that look; but whatever.

Then, you hear a little girl speak; "Hello, onii-chan~."

[X] See who it is
[X] Hah, fuck it; GTFO
[X] Scare them off with an epic speech and boast
[X] Write-in

 

[embed=425,349]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unuadNjSbRw[/embed]

 

[X] See who it is
- - [X] Give an epic speech and boast

We broke Kotomine.

 

You made him into a righteous zealot of justice and salvation; slaying evil and basking in their suffering in the name of the Lord.

 

I can't believe he never considered that option in canon. He's a shoe-in.

 

[X]See who it is
--[X]Give Epic Speech and-
----[X]Oh shit. How the hell did he track me here? Book it!